RABBI YAAKOV RAHIMI: SPECIAL Q&A FOR TEENS AND YOUNG PROFESSIONALS (PART 2)

good evening welcome back to this amazing series every monday night 8 p.m eastern standard time you know where the place to be right here tonighttime.com live and we're going to be addressing some questions that were submitted and submit your question um at events kazakh.org email us at events so we're going to add we're going to address um to start off some questions that were submitted so um the first question is um um you as a teenager young professional maybe you're not the owner of the house or technically it's not your household but how do you infuse um love of torah judaism into the house meaning maybe you're not the parent itself but you're the teenager you're the young professional whatever you live at your parents house how do you infuse it and show the beauty of it and to the house beautiful question robbie welcome everybody thank you for tuning in don't forget to send in your questions whatever is on top of your mind that we're about to ask it and if it makes it through we'll ask it if it's a weird question we're not going to publicize it but usually the questions are good so you're asking over here how to infuse that okay beautiful question the answer is if you want to make a kid in shashem if you want to spread the love of terror in the house with your parents respect is the password is the code the word respect one of the main mitzvoth we have in the terror and it's the truth it's not like i'm saying it as a trick to get your parents that's the truth one of the main mitzvoth one of the priorities priorities of hashem in this world is to respect your father and respect the mother kibud if one learns he will be shocked to learn how much allah the person has to know for example when your father walks in the room let's see you sitting on the couch you're playing xbox okay let's just say and then your father walks in is you got to get up then he father leaves he goes uh to buy milk he comes back guess what you have to get up again then your mother walks in you got to get up again every single friday night is every single friday night whether your parents are religious or not a person should go out of his way to kiss his father's right hand and his mother's right hand is it interesting that is a person should go out of his way let's see parents live three blocks away you go to show fire night you're religious go out of your way walk home and kiss your mother's right hand and your father's right hand and get a blessing for them whether they're religious doesn't make a difference you want to bring love of tyra to the house you got to show how much the torah respects parents how much the torah disciplines the human being because when you follow the terror you're always serving hashem and hashem is always around when you work for a boss have deal let's say you work in a business you have to act nice next to the boss you know but once the boss is gone you can do what you want well let's see you're in school when the rabbi is around you have to act all righteous when the rabbi is not there a person is free because the rabbi is not always around he only acts disciplined next to the rabbi but when you reach that level of being religious which means you're here to serve god not anybody else you're here to serve hashem hashem is always watching you wherever you go in the world god is watching you which means a person is always going to be disciplined and respectful because hashem is always around and hashem always tells you make sure you're respectful to other people especially your parents so how do you want to bring the love of terror to your house for there's a few things but the first thing you've got to follow the halakhot of kibbud respect your parents get up and then walk in make sure you don't argue with them you know is let's say you and your parents even talk politics okay and your mother uh likes this politician you can't argue with your mother it's a very scary alaha but one can't say mom you're wrong this guy is dangerous this guy is evil let's see your mother says oh i like this type of cake and then you tell mom what's wrong with you this is the worst flavor that's a problem a person will be shocked how much one has to know to respect his parents but once you know it it's gonna it's gonna show the love of terror it's gonna bring the beauty the light of terror into your parents and you'll be surprised how much it's gonna push your parents to become religious also so building upon that point about you have to show that you have to be very careful with this mitzvah of uh kibbutz aim or respecting honoring having reverence for for your parents and people i just just came to my mind that that people always know the myths of ki but of aim but there's also a mitzvah a severe mitzvah of of you have to have uh it's a year you don't know if that's the exact term but it's like it's also like you have to show like reverence and like uh um like you're like you're not allowed to sit in their place and different stuff like that um so building up on that point is a more like specific question is is what about if you if if the teenager or or a young professional let's say they're they're they're they're in public school or they're they're they're they're in college but let's say they want to go to yeshiva but but their with their parents they maybe they don't realize the importance of of yeshiva or jewish education and or let's say they're in college and let's say like oh the parents say you should only go to college all day but let's say the the the the young professional the team the the person in college they they maybe maybe they want to do half a day college and half a day um um learning or maybe let's just say they want to do a full day of learning so how would you how would you approach that okay so this is a tough question to answer here you're putting me in a corner here from kazakh because it i'm going to answer the question in a general term but to give a direct answer for over his listening i cannot because you have to know the individual and you have to know the guy's background of the story the last thing we want is a person to fight with his parents that's against judaism we don't want people fighting with their parents so the wrong message can be heard and then he could go back to his parents be like oh bye i'm leaving and take his bags and leave no it's not what you want so i can't answer that question unless i know the person but in a general term in a general term one has to understand he should know it himself he doesn't have to share with his parents but he should know it himself his job in this world is to connect to hashem he has a mission in this world to connect hashem his parents he loves them he respects them but his parents are also bound to god you and your parents are servants of god you're here to service you're here to serve hashem and your parents are here to serve a ship just because your parents are not religious yet doesn't mean they're allowed to stop you from meeting your potential and your mission of getting close to god so whoever asked that question whoever thinks of even just asking such a question what do i do i want to be religious i want to go to yeshiva i want to do the right thing right now but my parents are not letting me just but you even asking that question you should know that you already reached a very high level the most of the world is not there yet if you're aware of what life is about to even ask that question you already hit a home run it's a very good question to ask your eye is on the ball you want to get close to god but what do you do you got to respect your parents at the same time so what do i suggest i suggest that every person should make a rabbi which is very important to sadaqah make sure you have a mentor that knows your background and he will guide you through but to just say either direction to just say either extremes oh i'm just going to fight with my parents go to yeshiva is wrong but the other way is also on the other extreme if our person to sick is sometimes teenagers say that either they say i'm going to fight with my parents screw it no that's wrong you know i'll do that it's against the terror or they say oh forget my parents don't let me anyway so i'm not going to be religious that's also wrong that's also wrong the right thing is to do the right thing how do you do the right thing someone has to walk you through it your goal is to get close to hashem but at the same time not disrespect your parents so get a rabbi or a mentor it makes you get it done and do the right thing okay um so another um question was submitted was was um it's not going to be the theme of this uh this year of this class but but um but about the about the topic of dating and marriage um maybe if you could just uh give a little bit of advice about um let's just say you wanna you wanna you wanna start going out with um with the potential um potential spouse but but you're just doing it you're just going out just uh just to chill just to hang out um or so what can you elaborate with this concept of of uh of just going out like that or you're just going out just only if you have a mindset of you're ready to get married whoa you're asking me questions today rob either you're uh oh you want me to be like on a hit list or something the problem with me is that i can't control the real answer but i hope i'm not going to say the real answer okay so to answer that question like this the most famous question teenagers as teenagers are teenagers which is fine you know everyone was a teenager um let me just tell you one rule of life the my rabbis told this to my friends when we were younger and they were so right you're never most of the time you're not going to marry the girl that you think you're marrying at such a young age so if somebody is 16 17 you're just fooling yourself um you're just doing it for the fun it comes from a good place because a guy is a guy and a girl is a girl which is healthy it comes to the good place just you don't know how to handle this desire so like we discussed in the first episode a person has a desire for physical pleasure which is why boys hang out with girls and girls and other boys but at a young age it's a sin during this period of your time of your life 15 16 or 14 15 16 17 that time a person is dialing out with girls and girls are now letting get with boys you will regret it when you get older you will regret it hopefully you're not going to do it but you're going to look back and you'll be like ah yeah yeah it was not worth it it was not worth it how much more so after 120 when you're going to go to ulamabad you're going to face god god is going to tell you what did you do was it worth the sin was it worth the sin so my suggestion to all the teenagers right now when you're ready to seriously date you'll know when you're serious to date when you know you're not serious you know you're not serious don't don't fool yourself don't play games it's very important to be honest with yourself you want to have fun go have fun but know that you're having fun and know that you're doing the wrong thing because if you're going to think you're doing the right thing and fool yourself oh i mean i get this all the time i'm really going to marry her you know i'm really thinking of marrying her oh please give me a break enough with the nonsense be real you want to have fun have fun but admit it because eventually at least you're going to repent about it when you're serious about dating you're going to know when you're serious now when it comes to serious dating obviously a person is going to learn it with his rabbis obviously you're not gonna touch her the girl or the girl the boy obviously now hang out for too many hours because it might lead to sin but regarding the teenage questions when they say that they really want to get married to her they don't really mean it so i'm not going to answer any more questions because the whole thing is a game so i'm going to be straight up you want to have fun at least admit you're playing games for one day to repent as a suggestion as a older person a suggestion that's not called having fun like i said before you really want to enjoy life you really want to have fun as a teenager don't go there sit and learn tarot you're going to be the happiest and you're going to have the most fun sitting in a tarot and you're going to enjoy the marriage more when you get married when you don't hang out with girls at the wrong time you will enjoy marriage a lot more when you get married i'm not sure answer the question i think you did okay um i wanted to just follow up on something from the from the first uh from the first talk that we have um we talked about uh test challenges though that we go through so so i read once in a safer saying that that the word nisai on the test is related to the word nace which means banner and banner what do you what let's say you have a banner let's say you have a flag it says uh it's the american flag it's on top of uh let's say like the navy seals or whatever it is the the us marines so so you know it's all this ship is from the us marines so so so too that when when when when we have a nissan we that is that is that is um when we overcome the sahara that shows that that for all to see that we can overcome um uh challenges so what would you say about about um overcoming the sionos um by overcoming your um peer pressure how do you overcome pre-pressure how do you overcome uh yeah overcoming challenges by overcoming your peer pressure i mean you're being pressured to do the wrong thing and you overcome your challenges by overcoming peer pressure okay i think i got it okay uh uh what do i tell you bro did i think in the beginning thank you i'll be for the program take your tour anytime anybody has any questions feel free to ask don't be shy don't be embarrassed no one knows who you are they won't better ask the question freely you can even ask questions privately not necessarily everything's gonna be on the show right did i make that up right yeah you can ask a question privately now to answer your question how do you beat the okay so you said it right the word test in hebrew is called nessayon the root word of the word necion is nes which means a miracle every time you overcome a test you perform the miracle what is the definition of a ness what is the definition of a miracle a miracle means going against nature for example one of the greatest miracles we know of in the terror is creating suff the splitting of the sea why was it a miracle because the sea usually goes this way and here comes moses and the sea split so why is it called the miracle because the splitting of the sea is going against nature the natural way of the sea that goes straight so uh ness a miracle means going against nature naturally a person goes after his desires when a person overcomes his desires when a person has the test coming his way and he was strong and he beat the yetzara and he did the right thing you went against nature you performed the miracle in fact rebecca says an unbelievable thing and this should give to everybody says every time you beat a yetzerah every time you overcame a test you're now considered a malach an angel and he said sometimes you overcome strong tests you even considered higher than allah these words is a big deal a malacca is an angel when you overcome a test when you overcome your nature to go after your desires and you said i am loyal to god i will not sin let's see your friends tell you let's go to a certain place to mix party where you know you're not supposed to and let's say you want to keep shabbat and you took upon yourself i'm going to give you your friends tell you oh let's go watch a movie it's not easy in the beginning it's not easy and you overcame it and you were loyal to hashem you went against nature hashem said you considered an angel you can sit even higher than angel when the test is really hard and let's say you beat the etsa on monday it doesn't mean you can beat him on tuesday you always have to be strong but it goes the other way too let's say you fell on monday let's say you fell on tuesday which means sarah over beat you and you couldn't pass the test it doesn't mean that on wednesday on thursday you can't overcome the yet sarah every day is a new bank account every day with its new challenges and new opportunities that you have to beat the test bannes which means test in hebrew the root word is nes which means miracle we perform miracles when you beat de etza you perform the miracle because you went against your nature so every time you pass the test you deserve a trophy the championship thing like walking around like this we are the champions every time you beat it yet every time you keep shabbat especially in 2020 especially 2020 every time you keep shabbat and you're loyal to hashem don't look at it oh there's so many religious people in the world and it doesn't work that way every single individual every shabbat you keep not all the shabato they want you every shabbat individually you're making you spread hashem's name in the world every time you put until you make addition every time you make a bracha before you eat something no matter how many times you do it every single day you made a big mitzvah and you consider it a champion and you beat the etsara so so talking about challenges and tests so so we know that one of the one of the steps one of uh in this um in this process of doing chuva and and improving is is is that is that that you take upon yourself that you're never again gonna do it but but but sometimes a person might might say like okay but let's be real like i've done i've done xyz for like every single day or every single week for the last three years um am i am i really never again to do it so how do you um so so so maybe you could say like oh like like that that today um today is is is is the rest of my life meaning because as we know it it says if it says in perch that um that says repent one day before your death so so let's say so the question's asked like what do you mean like how do i know i'm the person when they're gonna pass away that says you do chuva every single day because then so how do you balance um that you're never again gonna do x y z again that the the the thing that you're focusing on but being realistic about it okay good question very easy answer very easy answer when i say easy i mean the question was still a good question when i say easy i mean the question the answer is so obvious when you read when you read this fire magnesium that's like i said before life is easy life is clear when one follows the terror life only becomes complicating when one decides to leave the terror if you follow the blueprint of god if you follow hashem he's going to guide you out of this maze called this world so to answer your question is like this first of all a person should never say i'm going to beat the yitzah forever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever because that's not going to happen like you said let's be real you want to be real let's be real the terrorist says the yetza is never going to leave you alone it's never going to leave you alone it's going to be here to the last day of your life so what do you do so what does it mean what's the definition of beating the yetzara so i want to make it clear the definition of beating the yetzara doesn't mean eliminating him it doesn't mean to make him disappear from the world beating the yetzara means knowing how to deal with the yetza like i said before one has to learn how to deal with the yitzhak is always going to be here how do you deal with the yet sarah the answer is know how to avoid places are going to make you sin well let's say a person did do another learn how to pick yourself up and not become depressed from it learn how to move forward the greatest weapon to make it practical the greatest weapon one has to beat the yet sahara is by learning tarot the yetzara has many ways how to make a person fall see even if you beat him in one test tomorrow is going to make you follow another test even if you beat him with a desire today it doesn't mean tomorrow you're not going to fall so like you said let's be real how is it possible to beat sarah forever and ever just because i beat him today it doesn't mean he's not going to beat me tomorrow the answer is the mindset is wrong you're never going to beat the yet sahara you have to learn how to deal with the yetzara you know how to deal with the yet sahara hashem said the greatest weapon the greatest weapon to burn your desires or to dissolve to the self to make them disappear a little bit to melt them down is learning tarot when you learn tara terra is magic terrorism because one who starts learning doesn't see it yet but there is magic when you start learning tarot no excuses i mean take an art school gemara or regular gemara at talmud order on amazon on ebay or an article.com they have plenty of books start learning every day if you haven't learned at all start with 10 minutes a day if you learn 10 minutes learn for 30 minutes the midrash says says how does a person overcome the yet sahara the doesn't say go in front of the it's alright tell them oh you're never going to beat me again that's not going to happen says the way you beat it is if every day you learn one page of talmud start learning two pages of talmud you learn two pages of talmud for now one start learning three pages of talmud the gemara just told you the trick you know how to beat the yetzahara you know how to deal with him don't talk about it don't try to go to him face to face don't try to fight him use your weapon what's your weapon learning terror and watch how the yet sahara starts dissolving watch how your desires start melting you're not going to have such a strong desire to sit anymore it's going to disappear when you start learning terror so how do you beat sahara very very simple equals learn terror that's the magic did i ask you the question um so yeah i would just i just the one point i would just say that is that how is it unbelievable but how can you still be mikay and still fulfill that that that that part of the round bomb that you're never again gonna do it again meaning that that that okay good okay friends i didn't answer that part okay you're saying a very good part it's based in the gemara the gemara the gemara tells the ram the gemara says but listen to the whole thing because i don't want you to become sad from this but the gemara said a person who does the same sin three times he's never going to repent again that's what thomas says breaking news a person who does the same sin three times he will not be able to repent again what does the gemara mean to say that's the rambam and all that we shouldn't explain what it means is we get immune to sins we get immune to it if we had the right glasses on if we were true believers like i'm saying the really really high levels the believers of hashem every time you would see a person sin or every time you would sin you would go crazy just like if you go outside in a castle and you see a person crossing the street and you see a car flying god forbid what would you do what's your natural thing you see that guy crossing the street and a car is flying what would you do be careful you scream naturally so too a person who sins if you're about to sin or you see your friend is about not to keep shabbos the natural thing should be and that's the reality oh my gosh be careful singing is horrible i'm singing it's horrible the problem is unfortunately we got immune to people sinning we get immune to this concept of jews not being religious but the truth is there is no such thing a jew means loyal to hashem it's really the wrong term to call religious jews religious or to call in hebrew it's the wrong term the real term is the real term is loyalty religion means loyalty when you keep shabbos you're not religious you're loyal to the texts you're little hashem when you keep kosher you're not like you're loyal to god you actually listen to what god has to say although it's been so many years from harsinai although it's been so many years from the destruction of the bethune dash but the fact that in 2020 you're loyal to god and you listen to the words of the terror is an unbelievable achievement so using the word religious is incorrect it's really called loyalty so what do you do with this rambam who says a person who does real tissue is never going to come to do it again i'll explain that when a person does real repenting what does it mean you repenting it means that deep down you really regret the sin that you did if you truly regret the sin that you did not just opening up a sitter and going like this of course that's nice and cute but that's only the 10th step of doing teshuva the main step of repenting is inside understanding what you did and what you've caused when a person sins you truly offended like sorry to be bluntly but every time one sins including myself unfortunately you offended god it's offending because god created this beautiful world he created this beautiful terror he created something called judaism all he's telling you is follow the texts and when a person doesn't listen he's basically telling hashem ah i don't like you i'm not listening to the tarot so every time you sin the point is not the actual action that makes a difference the point is you offended hashem you slapped god across the face which is extremely offending me that's what happens every time we sin a person sins please understand that hashem gets offended because hashem loves you so much and hashem cares about you so much he gives you life and then a person would turn on him and say i don't want to listen to you that's extremely offending when you aware of how much damage every sin causes you're going to be aware of how much your actions make a difference how much hashem is waiting for you to come back and how much your actions carry a lot of weight at the same time you're going to be aware how much every moment of learning terrorism you're going to be aware of how much every moment of being religious is every shabbat you're never going to underestimate any mitzvah you do every minute of terror every time you don't talk lashing hard every time you control your eyes when you understand how important your actions are you're never gonna underestimate how much every mitzvah that you do makes a huge difference in the world one mitzvah that you do can tilt the whole world now for the good and we're gonna have only good news in the world one of their one does can tilt the whole world the other way and now we're going to have only bad news every action makes a difference so how does a person not sin when he does real to shiva if you want to be real about it the answer is when you're real about repenting when you real about it when you really regret it i guarantee you you're going to stop doing those awares did i answer you now yes 100 adjust it okay great um i think we will stop here for tonight um um but uh i think we addressed some very key fundamentals as we talked about in the in the first year um everyone should um so if anyone missed the first um first year go to torontotime.com live and then go to tourneytime.com and you will find it over here over there and submit your questions to events at kazakh.org and it will be addressed right here every monday night