Rabbi Yitzchak Feldheim: Achieving Independence

good evening everyone and welcome to tonight's very special program khazakh's wednesday night shirum every wednesday night 8 p.m eastern standard time right here tonytime.com live tonight we're going to have the greatly honored to hear from rabbi it's like failtime achieving independence we're going to be hearing unbelievable tonight it's being presented by hazak chickens for shabbos daily giving and torah anytime as we know kazakh is unbelievable they help spread tor all over the world kazak is one of the leading um organizing uh um harbaugh satoru spring of torah organizing so many sherman throughout the year one of the leading organizations and organizing shurim throughout the entire world and chickens for shops and unbelievablization they help feed the families of agunos crew shows them a lot of them with zero red and they also private tudor 222 children of our gurus and goose shows definitely worthy of everyone's support support chickens right now for chickens for shabbos right now chickens for shabbos.com c-h-i-c-k-e-n-s-f-o-r-s-h-a-b-b-o dot com chickens for showers dot com so i'm not it's not it's a great article but everybody it's like fellaini solomon everybody out there thank you for joining this year um thank uh torah anytime for hosting this and specifically i want to thank khazak and chickens for shabbos for being the sponsors of this year khazakh is a keyring organization that is an unbelievable thing just in the last four years they've signed up one thousand public school kids and enrolled in yeshiva i can't imagine something more noble and chickens for shop this is a very harsh organization besides torah you also have the involvement milas khasid and i think that chicken for shabbos has their their arms wrapped around both of those they they provide chickens for shabbos for for for families of rebellion and also for nice and and and crucials people who will be don't have a husband in the house and the terrorist side of what they do is they also provide unbelievably important rebate you know cabrous for the children of people who don't have a father in the house to learn with the kids unbelievably crushed of a thing one of the biggest cassadan and so together tonight we're being taking part in sending kids to yeshivas and all the hollywood and taking care of their physical needs everything that the chickens for shabbos does and a special shout out to rabbi robbie abrams who every time i give a share you can't imagine the headaches i cause him my glitches and technology problems and he is the most unbelievable smile and i i apologize to the public for giving him and i commend him for not even letting me know that i'm causing my best episode i'm just imagining i must be but from the look on his face he's like the happiest calmness most tranquil person in the world hashem give you only bruh all right let's get busy with this was a long introduction but i need another introduction so to share this is that this is a every time i give a shirt for chickens and khazak it's a special bracha that i i'm preparing for this year and it doesn't stop the ideas coming in i never know when to cap it and um and um when the cap is sheer you know i keep on going and uh somewhere i have to stop adding information so hopefully i'll know when to cut it off over here here's the here's what the shear tonight is again i said you have to make sure to check up chickensforshabbas.com and take part in this holy midsole it's not just sponsored by them it's sponsored by you who sponsors them so chickens.com and be part of saving cloud yourself okay so this year is about becoming independent becoming an individual it's a very important so i think it's the suggest the topic of this week's powershot and we're going to do it in a very detailed way as the parasha does it we'll see and i need you to put on a seatbelt and it's going gonna be a little bumpy but hopefully everything will work out together uh here's here's what's going on the last two parashats are called last week was called nassai and this week is called bahalaisha um they both mean almost the same thing not so means to lift up the talk or it means a lot of meetings to count and to raise but it talks about counting the jews but more than that it talks about carrying the mishkan carrying nasa means to carry to race but and the way he did it is it says that rashi explains baha'u'llah when you allow the flames to rise until the flames will rise on their own what that means is is that you're not is that you're keeping the candle the goal of it when you light a candle the process is as follows you hold the fire to the wick until the wick gets so hot that the wick itself catches fire it's no longer the fire of right i can apply the fire to the wick and but in order for me to pull the candle away and it should be lit is i have to wait till the flame rises on its own so i want i i learned these two power shots as a contrast of two different ways to raise something means to carry it and means it allows it to stand on its own to rise up on its own and there are rules for both last week's parasha deals with the ability to carry things or to be carried it's sort of a lack of independence being part of a group and being carried along with the group that's what nasa is and it's not going to get the last week's powershell but if you study the bar show you'll see it's a common thread through all of the things it's sort of like not being an individual like even the necessity by the way they're princes but their name is nicium which means lifted ones that they were raised from the word nusselt they were raised not that they're independent and that's why if you look all the necessities give exactly the same gift to the base of the repeats the gift of the museum because they're not independent they're they're subservient to the larger group they're they're you know they're working for the zebra and it's not about them so but that was last week so this week is important transition it's it's we stopped being raised and now we sort of have to carry ourselves and that's that's what we're gonna learn about today how does somebody um somebody become independent how do you stop being carried and all of a sudden now start carrying myself and that's i think the purpose of the transition which now of course i i told you the parasha begins talking about like doing raising the candles but that's only the first sweep the it's sort of like a metaphor for what's really going on in the powershell we're we're raising the candles um allowing it to go on its own but if you follow the story now in the rest of the parasha what happens this week is until now the entire torah was leading up they went to mitsurai indicating and for all of the past weeks we've been standing at har sinai receiving the torah talking about the details in the torah was in the mishkan the warsaw the kirkwall race but everything was at har cena it's in this week's parasha that claudia israel leaves our cni and sets off on their lives and i think it's a perfect share to give a perfect parish of this time of year because this is really the time of year that people are graduating schools are ending and it's it's sort of like this is what we call the graduation the graduation is called commencement exercises it's commence means to begin a graduation is not about finishing school but about beginning life so the transition from the parasha of nassau to the park powershell is really the transition of school to the real world when we're children and we're going through we're in school we're being lifted it's our family and our teachers we're in a safe environment where they're carrying us the day you graduate is the day that you have to embark on on your real life and begin to live the life that you were mentally and that's exactly what's happening this parashat in the larger sense the jews like the center of the parachute the words the famous words that we say whenever the we open the auditions and it was when the orion begins traveled and moisture says rise up and scatter the enemies of the jews those who hate you flee right and this is the parasha describing the journey of the jews leaving so again so we have the the microcosm which is co-igniting the medora the flames have to rise on their own and the macrocosm is the story of the jewish people um going through the stage of where they're being lit and partisan is sitting by arsenal and now beginning the stage where they have to be lit on their own they're leaving the mountain they're going off on their individual lives so we're going to study now what does it take to leave our cena and go off on your own and what we'll see is as soon as this happens in the torah everything starts to go wrong this week's powershell and next week's powershell and the powershot are just a constant a list of all of the mistakes that claudia so made when you're safe in front of arsenal again again you're never safe they also have the golden calf by rc night but for the most part when you're sitting in yeshiva and you're safe in school with a good good school you're you're you're being carried it's only when you leave that you run into trouble so i'm gonna go through over here in the power shop i think like it could be more good whatever but i think we're gonna focus on the seven steps that the parish is giving us to achieving independence i'm going to tell you the seven stories quick short and as i explain them to you maybe we'll go into more detail the first story is is that is it's a really cool story this is really the first act of independence of initiative in the torah is that they were jews who were tummy who were impure because someone had died they had come in contact with death so you become impure and you can't eat the passover the carbon pesach if you're coming and they come to motion and they say moshe it's not fear we missed out on the best why should we be less than everybody else they will have the current best of just because we're impure means that we're not part of such an important part of judaism and moshe moshe is not actually sure moses says okay hold on you wait right here stand here and i'm gonna let you know what hashem tells me that you should do and actually hashem acquiesces to them he says they're right um we're gonna have a makeup holiday for pesach called pesach so pesach cheney is is a new yom duff which was created based on the request based on the initiative of people this is a perfect beautiful in introduction to the idea of being of not being carried but being independent and having an issue and uh it's interesting that moshe abdenu doesn't know what to do when he asks to ask kasha there's another place in the torah where moshe doesn't know what to do and it's another case of independence and it's actually we use the exact same words um there was a man salaf who was broke the shamanist in the desert he was killed and he had only daughters he had five daughters the daughters of talaghan and when it came to dividing the land to give everyone their their porsche the land of israel so the daughters of tilapia had no land because the land was given to the suns and they came to motion they said moshe our father died in the midburg but he wasn't part of any of the rebellions it was his own sin it was a personal sin he wasn't he wasn't trying to disrupt the whole jewish people and he only had daughters why should our father have be any less so why should he be any less than the rest of the jews that we don't that he loses his portion in israel just because he has no sons what happens if a man only has daughters and he loses his abortion and moshe doesn't know either what to do there he asks hashem hashem again acquiesces and he says they're right they should inherit the land and when there are no sons the land goes to the daughters and the daughters will inherit and uh it's interesting these are the two cases where moshe doesn't know what to do and they they're not coincidental they seem like they're both the same kind of case they're cases where individuals didn't accept what was given to them they weren't timid they stood up they raised their hand and they said but we also love la nigara okay that's the first story we'll have to come back to that then the next story is the story of of of israel moshe's father-in-law moshe's fossil has been with the jews and now they're about to leave har sinai and go on their journey to their promised land they're about to and usually goes okay i've been here it's time for me to go home and moshe's like what do you mean go home he says you're home this is your family your son-in-law your daughter's here your grandchildren why do you want to go home he says i want to go i'm a lot of time i want to go to my artsy malady my land and my birthplace it's time for me to go back and misha says what do you mean you're gonna come with us you're gonna go and tear it to seoul we're gonna give you the same barakah that we have you're gonna get land you'll be part of us and yes he says no he wants to go back that's the second story we have to analyze that story too why he's why he's not willing to go with the jewish people he says he wants to go to his land so is he is he is he being loyal to his traditions and he's not giving up is it a story of independence or is it a story of breaking with the independence we'll see and then then then they actually leave harassing and the it says that the jews left by isu and the gemara the joshua they're all busy with the idea that it's a bad thing that they left har sinai katina khabi raya like a child who is running out of school like school's over and running giggling the school's over running it they shouldn't have left has so giddy and so happy to be finally getting away from school even though we you know going into life but they whatever we'll figure it out seems to me that's the third story again one is is the people who wanted a portion in the in the pesach offering that couldn't have then yes then the story of that they ran away from arsenal then comes the next story the misonanim the jews who are complaining it's interesting it doesn't say what they were complaining about but they were complaining and hashem was angry and masha was angry it was very not good and it was a fire because they were complainers they were missing they were complaining that's that's number four number five is after the complainers is also a complaint but it's a specific complaint the complainer doesn't say what they were complaining about just they complained now we have the famous complaint that the man they have none and they say we don't like them on we all we have is this lesem this light empty bread this uh our souls are dry from this andy bread we want we we want we remembered zohar as hotdog remember the fish and the the melons that we ate in mitzrayim for free um the good old days all of a sudden they're nostalgic about the good the good gig they had sorry it's a crazy story but somehow they're remembering but trying with such positivity and they're saying here we are in the desert hashem is feeding us food and uh we don't like it it's not good our souls are dried up from this um we remember right okay whatever um next that's the that's the the the fifth story and then the last two are at this point moshe says because he actually sort of like the way i told you it's about carrying and lifting on their own this is this one actually spells it out clearly moisha says hashem i can't i can't do this i can't carry these kids like a nursing mother carrying her baby like i can't do this did i did i give birth to this nation that i have to be stuck with nursing them constantly 24-hour care i'm overwhelmed by it and what does hashem say hashem gives in hashem says you're right and he says gather me 70 elders and i'm going to give for part of the spirit from on you on to them and they will also become prophets and they will lead the people together with you and that's actually what happens um gives over to them from moshe's spirit and these people start prophesizing in the camp it says that the nar that the boy doesn't say who he is maybe it's someone else but comes running into motion and saying moshe there are people saying prophecy and they didn't even go into the mishkan they're saying it in public in the street just like cheapening it's not they're going to complain they're cheapening prophecy they're just like saying to vua everywhere it's like it's like a dime a dozen every once all of a sudden everyone's a problem and he's all angry and he says climb you know i don't know what it means it could be like put them to keller in jail could be wiped them out i know but the guy is pretty angry this kid is not pretty angry he's saying like wiped out or silence them stop this it's a travesty and maisha says no he says if only everybody would be like this could imagine a whole nation of cree of of prophets everyone's everyone's experiencing god that's emotion and that's the sixth story in the power show and then the seven story is the hardest parish very hard this is arun and miriam seem to say los angeles moshe separates from his wife because he's very holy he's busy with god and he separates he says maybe i shouldn't be busy with human human frailties and and aaron and miriam are saying what's what's moshe doing did god only speak to him he spoke to all we're all prophets we all we're aaron and miriam we also spoke to god why is moshe coming up with this new religious thing that he can't be with his wife it's that's this this this is not the jewish way who does moshe think he is that he has to be so much holier and hashem we never knows hashem makes miriam get stricken right away with leprosy and she has to go live outside the camp and um and uh finally when moshe davinson heard we know it says shortest prayer kill no refund whatever miriam is healed and she comes back to the camp and then they then they're able to begin there to continue their travels and begin their injury so these are the seven stories and they're they're all i i believe that the purpose of this parasha is how to get somebody to go from being carried from school to being successful making a life for themselves how to go from nassari from being carried to the haloisa to standing on your own truth so let's go through it in this sense and it seems like there are seven steps along the way that have to be dealt with in order to become truly independent and in each of these things there was something wrong on the way so let's go through what's the first one we said um they say to moshe why are we less that we didn't have the carbon pesach just because we were impure with no fault of our own um so why are you um it's not our fault why why don't we get abegran pesa so i i wish i could get feedback here because this is the kind of thing that we're going to work through nitty gritty here i need to see like you're getting it but i'll imagine that uh you're giving me that look like yeah really why okay so so what's the idea what's wrong with that i it's a nice thought that you also want to call pesach but how should they have said it what should claudius all have said if you if you're if you're you you're being a person you're not just faceless person in the crowd so and you're showing initiative here so you're sort of on the right page you're not a follower you're coming to moshe you've gotta be very brave you're knocking on this door and saying we didn't have this but it's not it's so emotional like these get your hopes up these are like real people everyone every leader is looking for people you can rely on people who are individuals with an initiative everybody wants people initiative most of us must have got his hopes really up and then they say the words we show like a crash landing what do they say what do they want do they want the carbon pesach i want you to figure it out on yourself llama nigara why are we less than everybody else they got a car and pass who don't so do they want the carbon pesach i don't think so then they would have said we wanted what do they say why are we less they just want to be like everybody else this isn't initiative there's it's fascinating they're showing initiative to help them because i think the idea is that everybody really is an individual like you can't you can't stifle individuality but but what's your desire so the i think the first step if you're going to organize you're going to organize all the mistakes on the way to becoming an individual to becoming independent the first step is that you don't even want that dream you just want to be like everybody else and that's articulated in la manigara nigara is not a holy phrase it's not about the carbon pesach it's about why am i left out i want to be like everybody else so the first step is i guess so what would we tell this person you know the first step to becoming an independent is you have to have that desire you know because a lot of people this is this is it really is the first step many people are stuck and they want they just want to fit in so if i'm giving a class independence chapter one is dealing with the desire to fit in you first have to want to be independent so the first thing we study is why why are we less than everybody else next now once you say you you we got past i gave you the message i don't want you saying uh all right then one of the rails yeah and if if your friends jumped off the roof would you jump off the roof too right that's what we are all our mothers played the moshe road we said right everybody starts up as children when we're home and we start off saying but we're trying to say that mothers i want to do what i want but we're saying because everybody else does so the mother says you jump off the roof they jump off the roof that's something you should probably have to say so next so what's the next problem okay i got it got the mustard okay i gotta want to be i don't it's not that i i want to be like everybody else i don't want to be like everybody else anymore so what's the next problem israel he wants to go back to his homeland so what is that it's a crazy thing he's part of the jersey he was there for mountain toro he came right after the monster it depends on which opinion you take but you see heard it he saw it he was he came either to hear mandara or because he was so moved by it so how what it fade it faded away so fast his inspiration he wants to go back to the land with nidyan what's in what is the mid you want to have that we don't have so because i don't have time to do an exhaustive study of who yesterday is but but one thing most people know about yesterday is how they usually had seven or ten names they had a lot of names right yesterday was was was the spiritual leader of how many countries in the world i think israel's problem is he's the next stage some people want to be like everybody else and some people don't want to be like anybody yes he has a hundred names he can't stay anywhere he he comes it's like it's like in the old west you know in the old west all everywhere i used to like westerns okay so in the westerns every western's the exact same story there's there's a widow with an orphan who would be persecuted by either the indians or the the people building the railroad or the cattlemen or or somebody is picking on the widow and the orphan in the dangerous west and this cowboy rides into town and he shoots all the bad guys right and uh and and it's beautiful he saves the widow but he never marries the widow even though the widow needs to get married little orphan boy looks at him like my hero i want you to be my new daddy but every western ends off with with him riding off into the sunset because he has to go to the next town to save the next widow and next orphan from next calamity the next town that's not a real hero that's a person who every day he has to go to a different city you can't find the place he doesn't have the problem that he needs to be like everybody else but he's not ready to settle down to be himself so the first obstacle is is is and that guy runs away every time he starts to get too close every time he's too comfortable and things look too good he has to go where is he going he's going to nidion but he's done with he has done this before every place he's been he's bailed down on the last one was a pretty good place he was with us it was good but even us and he goes back to his land of vidya because he has many names you know today in modern therapy you know when you have somebody with multiple personalities the trick is can we blend all their personalities the one healthy one yesterday needs to become one person you know and even his name the name we use his name is extra he's his right he's additional he's never part of it he's not the soy family well amongst my people i always say the healthiest people in the world are the people sitting in the middle of the row in the middle of sure you know you know you could hide on the front row in the back room or you have an aisle seat you know because you like near an exit leg zero seats you sit in the middle of school and you're part of the people you're so you can't be part of the people anyways okay let's we have seven things to do so let's recap quickly and then we'll start hopefully start rolling quickly so i i i want you to see that it's not just a random thing i'm saying this is actually the order the torah is giving you the real order that you have to go through in order to become an individual the first thing is is you have to not want to be like everybody else now i overcame that i don't want to be like everybody else but now you have to want to be you you can't want to be nobody right some people don't want to look at everybody else but they're not ready to be themselves you're in that middle ground where i'm not everybody else but not me yet okay next okay so what's the next case what's the next one so uh you're with me you know it's all right so the next one was they ran away from marcina katina so you're they're about to start your life it's like they're graduates so what's wrong with that isn't it exciting to go to work isn't that what you lived your whole life for you've been chomping at the bit waiting to open your first business waiting to make some money enough spaying spending all this money on tuition now it's time to start paying off my loans starting i want the car i want to drive there's a house i want to live in so what was the sin over here this here's what the type where the tower deduces it from it doesn't say they went out into the test says they traveled from mount sinai they didn't run into the world they ran from the mountain running to be you you say they ran they ran into their lives doesn't say they ran into their lives it says they ran away from school what does that mean to run it's good to run to the world after you graduate but what you suppose the healthy person if you're an individual what's the individual doing the individual is running to embrace his role in the world but this guy is just running away from school what does that mean so let's analyze it there's a middle ground when i want to be when i'm in school i'm being carried so i don't want to be supposed to now want to do it yourself there's a little stage where you you you don't want to be careful we we want to get out of school but it's not i just want i just want to be free this is desire for freedom it's not a desire to be me yes you're free from from all the things that define you the kid who moves out of his house but not because he wants to move into his own house he just wants to get out of his house some people want to move into their or not they want to have their own place they want to have start to establish you know like what gyako says when he leaves love on that's the holy way he wasn't leaving love on he was saying when am i going to build my own house i have things to accomplish i have my own journey my own existence that he yaakov was a run from lafayette although he runs he's not running from he's running to his life his life is waiting so the first step that people have to overcome is that they want to fit in with everybody else the second step is not that you want to fit in with everybody else but that you you don't want to be part of anything you don't want you know you don't want you don't want a place and then you come to the place over here this stage where you you're leaving harsina you're going into your world but your focus of going into your world at your own place is not to be there is not to be home i have no parents you want to go to israel to learn or do you want to go to israel because your parents aren't over your shoulder right do you want to this is the question and this is this is this is listen every one of these stages is common right let's think about it there are people who just want to fit in everybody else there are people who don't want to belong anywhere and they're people who want to belong somewhere because they want to be free from somewhere else okay so now we start to get into the next stage now we're ready up to the stage where people i no longer want to be like everybody else i no longer don't want to be anywhere i realize that being like everybody else is a copycat not being anywhere is is lonely it's just a waste i'm not being anything and then i realized that just having my own house isn't enough it has to be about who am i not who am i not not what am i leaving behind so now comes the misogyny what are they missing them the missing them are the complainers can we figure out what complaint is i think complaining is throughout the torah scenes we said the complaint is the next step on the way to your candle being lit on its own what it doesn't say what they're complaining about why would attorney not say what they're complaining about the torah would not say what complaint it doesn't matter why wouldn't it matter because the complainer is not about what it is it's just an excuse who complains when do we complain you see the previous guy never complains the guy who just wants to get out of school let's call him the chiller okay the chiller just wants no pressure so he ran away from school so that guy's the most chill guy so he doesn't complain about nothing everything's great who complains the guy who conquered the chillers stage he doesn't want to be free he wants to be something but he doesn't believe it's going to happen when you've gotten past that you just want to be free i don't want to just leave school i want to make money i want to drive like the right car i want to get married i want no family but i don't believe that it's ever going to happen so that guy is the catch the convention is the one blaming everybody and complaining that it's not he's not able to get what he wants the prerequisite to fetching the complaining is you have to dream you have to want so he's already very advanced the complainer has made huge strides he doesn't want to not be he doesn't want to be like everybody else he doesn't want to be nobody he doesn't want to just just chill he actually wants to be but he doesn't believe he could so uh he's complaining you don't have this and all of that it's not working then we get to where the turtle starts to slow down and talk a lot i'm sorry news in now we get like very short now we get to the story of the month what was the complaint with the money how do we understand that complaint so i think the complaint with them i'll give you a little um cool way of thinking about it the problem with the man is that um that he the torah calls it has to say the one is the money is kisrah god it's like corey anderson it's god is gimmel down that's the definition the torah's definition of what the man is it's god um and uh and they say we remember the fish that we eat so get a little mystical for a second if you'll notice the word doug is the word god backwards what's the idea the gemara tells us what what gimmeldale it is right the gemara brachas once finds the aleph days it says that um that that gimbal dollar is going to dollar it's giving charity to the poor that's what's going on going again it's going mr poor so the man is called gazura god you know why because it's the ultimate case of being carried it's that we sitting we do nothing and the food falls in shania hashem is the rich guy and i'm the singer of my hand saying hashem give me some food it's like from the mill to the dog that's the problem with the money and that what does that do for you means easy it's this totally easy empty existence my soul is dry i'm a dreamer i'm longing and all you're doing is you're giving me things how long can i sit here on government programs during coven yeah they're giving me checks every day and stimulus i don't want to be a i don't want gay mild of of a frustrated self that i want to be something and you're you're giving me money i don't want to be on the take i want to be earning things and that's what they that explains the whole one and here's what they say remember the fish that we ate in the train for free because white fish so the last step in this mystical sidebar is that there's another word that dog beats this great grain is called doggone right we say in shema the gang of this your grains could you figure out what is why would the word fish and grain have the same meaning what do they have nothing in common fish and grape right so based on what we explained it makes total sense doug doesn't mean fish or green it's the opposite of what god is god is as hashem is the milk giving me an ambush in the opposite case in fishing and in grain is that i'm the rich guy i'm the doer and i'm pulling the fish out of the ground with the grain out of the ground i'm the creator it's not that the food comes from somalia and down to the rs it comes from the water up to the earth i'm not receiving i'm pulling the dog on is is the doll to the going mill it's not from the green mill from the giver to the receiver it's an i'm the giver i'm the doer i'm the powerful one and i'm i'm the one who's who's getting the stuff that's that that's what that's what the doc that's what the goddess so that's why it's like dawn so it's holy when the jews are asking for the month it's very good they want to finally be a person so what's wrong what's the uh what was what's what's the sin according to the way we're explaining it now this is the most beautiful thing right this is the jewish people are fondly wanting to be individuals they don't want to be on government programs anymore they want to begging hashem to allow them to to earn things like they used to so what's what's the word here i want the word that gives it away this is a very heavy it's very deep but it's what does it mean that we i said the fish that we eat in mitsuram for free where's the free you were slaves right you were you were you were you had nothing right do you uh you paid for everything fully got some fish and exchanged and even if they didn't give you maybe they gave it to the free but still even that your slaves how would you call it free how would you make sense out of the word free in this context if you understand the use of the word free in this context it'll make perfectly good sense of what why this is a mistake in the way they're not period there's still two more stages after that this is only stage five think about it why would somebody say i'm that when i finally on something that you paid for in full that it was free pay the whole point was i don't want free i want it paid for i want to pay for it i want to earn it i don't want to be a star and then they but they ruin it by saying just like the fish which we earned that's what fish means i fished i earned it just like the fish i would take for free so i think what what the only way to explain this is maybe there's other ways but i think that the most obvious way to explain it is when someone says free on the job money they earned working hard they mean free from guilt that when i pay for something in full i'm free i'm not weighed down by the shame the guilt of having earned it of not having earned it and that's what they're saying they're saying we remember mitzrayim everything we ate was free of uncovered now this every time i eat over here i feel like a failure i feel like a fraud free food is the most this is the way to say free food is the most expensive thing in the world because the burden of being indebted of shame of carrying it around this is what we call nama the ki sufa the bread of shame and kabbalah there's nothing harder to beer than fruit and then free gifts because you carry the shame so that's the story of one so what's wrong with that that's isn't that noble somebody comes to you and says i don't want you to give me gifts because i don't want to have to deal with the shame i want to earn it myself why is he not done yet why are there two more stages do you figure that out it's unbelievable how much he accomplished he doesn't want to be like everybody else anymore he doesn't want to be random and free and untied down he wants to be tighter he wants his own place but he doesn't want his own place because he he doesn't want to be a home he wants his own place because he actually wants to be something and he even believes he can do it and he wants the job he's saying give me the job and it's still wrong why is he wrong so this is very subtle why when you say shinam what are you saying i remember the fish that i ate phenom the fish that i ate for free what you're saying is is that free from guilt so do you want to be you you don't want to be you you just don't want to live for guilt that's not there yet you're not supposed to want to be independent and earn something because you don't want to feel like a snorer that's the wrong point yes you won't feel like a snore if you're in it but that's not the reason is the reason to work and the reason to go out on your own was you don't want to be ashamed no the reason is that you want to be you you want to do your purpose you're itching to have your place in the world you miss the boat when you say i want to be like this because i don't want to be ashamed but how many people are stuck at this level they already are independent they don't want to be like everybody they want to do it themselves they don't want shortcuts they have confidence they can do it and they're working hard but you know why they're working hard so they want to feel like snares so you're still stuck that's the month you're working because you don't want to feel shame but that's not the goal the goal is to work as because you want to be who you meant to be the one guy doesn't feel any pride he just doesn't feel shame there's a spot in between not feeling shame but not feeling pride and that's what among us which brings us to the next step so these are the ways where where all the mistakes the jews made what's interesting about the next two stages is where the people start to say say navua moisha creates many new prophets and they're profiting all over the place and uh they're not stopping and in the mahner and now and and then they complain oh my god they're they're they're saying punish them and moisture says no that's what they should be and then miriam and aaron who say that maisha who does he think he is why is he separating life well also holy we're all holy why is he better and i think he's better than us hashem says no he is so what changes over here is that over here it seems like these people are being independent and the complaint is that they're being too independent and here hashem accept moshe says it's good what they're doing so then so if it's good what they're doing why you need two more stages you understand until here it's hard to do this without feedback but until here everybody everybody was doing everything was a mistake and being themselves i called being smaller than yourselves you're refusing to be you and here we cross the line and here maisha creates the no longer being carried he says i can't carry them anymore like a nurse they're carrying her kids i need them to be weaned which what is what's his name is el dorado the word maydad means it means from the bosom he's he's no longer nursing he's not he's he's wean he's independent he's now saying the vua in the field overflowing he's jumping around without an extension cord you know he's free so that guy so what's wrong with that so at this point when somebody starts to be a person now he starts to get black from everybody else saying oh my god he's reckless he's too big there's no coolant and maybe they're right because there's two ways not to be you most of the problems with being you is being too small but you could also be too big but at this point my shirt being doesn't punish the people he punishes the complaint not punishes but he doesn't take the navy these new navy into task he takes the complainer and he says what are you complaining about if only everybody was like that meaning this is a problem we can deal with so the first step is become independent if you're being reckless in your independence okay we'll worry about that but but we got what we wanted i wish everybody got to this stage you know now he's two he's too lebodic but a minute ago he was chilling and he didn't work and now he doesn't come up from the office beautiful i wish everybody was like of course we want him to do things in measure but that's why there's one more stage but you have to understand that this stage over here this is the first time in the story that they're not wrong everybody else here was punished everything else was wrong because they're dragging their feet on on becoming lit and on graduating and standing on their own feet they're dragging their feet but over here for the first time it says they saying the vula they didn't stop and they're there there's a new toy this self and they're so busy with with this thrill of expression and vision and that's what happens when somebody tastes the feeling of being which comes to the last step that miriam and aaron um miriam lauren complained that myself why is he separating who does he think he is he's so sorry he's he's too big he's he's trying to be he's he's not being carried he's too it's like worse that somehow it's like the next step after these guys don't stop saying no the vua and and hashem responds to them says guys are wrong and because moshe is both they say moshe is being big he doesn't say that moshe is not big he is big he i talk to him face to face nobody's like moshe but he's not being bigger than himself it says that he's the one of me callagha he's the most humble person moshe is the last step where you realize how big you are i'm not doing things because i don't want to be i'm not doing things because i want to be because i don't want to be embarrassed i'm doing things because this is what i want to be and i'm not being bigger than me i'm not getting carried away moishe is huge he's he's he thinks he's one with god this is an unbelievable lesson to people is that you know how big you can be what does it mean to be to be big but at the same time with how big elisha is that they think it's too big hashem says no he's still in honor maisha is it's like the first stories were being too small the next stage was being too big and much when the hugeness is just right there's nothing greater than being yourself but you can be yourself and still be yourself be one without shampoo now this is a long and vowel thing but a lot of it might sound a little i i just want to give you one thing i'm done and i'll just i don't know i'm just going to stick in one last thing if you want to stick around but let me just click there's no i know there's a link but link 10 is a link and find chicken for shabbos dot com and be part of this holy mid song but there are those who who followed me the whole thing here it's a complicated thing um you'll find one word throughout the parasha that shows up many many times more than any other place in the torah and uh it's i'm not gonna i'm not gonna be able to go through some of you because you know how i i'm not really communicating with you we're not working this out like a workshop but throughout the parashat uses this word assaf to gather together and most of the time it uses the word us it's forced it's the wrong word to be used they'll see it on your own go count the times it says i'm not saying it doesn't work the word asap but it's not the word the torii gnomeless it talks about the erev rav and it calls them the asapso those who were gathered in it talks about shay vadon who was the last of the tribe and he calls it the one who gathers in the tribes moshe comes into the room and it says he was gathered into the room miriam comes back into the camp after she was thrown out she was gathered into the camp um the mon the mun was gathered they gathered them a few times that there it belongs to be used um many many times um i want to focus on on the one this is i think this is the fulcrum at the power show everything changes was by the month and by the month it says if i knew exactly oh nothing but i'm sorry when they finally get it right when did i say they finally got it right they finally got it right with the theme start to say navola and uh and it says that what does it say until now everything it says below yourself and they didn't they didn't they didn't stop they didn't gather it in somehow means right uh extra but also right but lawyer they didn't they didn't they didn't stop talking they didn't stop saying the war i wish you could see it inside you have to do it on your own look at all the awesomes in the parashat he got uh he gathered the 70 elders by yesterday says it four times by them he gathered them he gathered them he gathered them and then they refused to be gathered in below the terrorists obviously wants wants you to focus on this idea the look that they were gathered they were gathered they were gathered and then by your snob overlord yourself for what they refused to be gathered meaning the way it says they never stopped as they were together so until now we said the problem was is that people didn't want to be themselves and over here they they didn't want to stop being themselves so i found the source i think where the torah speaks about these two phrases gathered and not ending where do you find this by the way if there's seven stages here so this is this the story over here is the sixth stage we know in the spheros the sixth stage is jose right uh the sixth piece in this yosef it's called right the seventh one is dove it is malas so if you're going to count avraham yinzayakov to all the stages that each one had the one stage of becoming claudius so the stage in this that's yosef stage is this stage of the navy which actually is the same word as you say for yourself but it gets better when you and this is the last thing i'm saying to you so you'll be free in a second if you're following it good if not i apologize because when when rocco has yosef she's going to name is what does she say she says hashem has gathered in my shame he's put an end to my shame till now everybody else had kids and i didn't now hashem has gathered in my shame however you understand that and then hashem gathered in my shame and then she says what then she says um and she calls him joyce and you might think she's naming them because hashem gathered in my shame though hashem gathered in my chain lay more to say give me another give me another kid why was he called the i saved was it because she was awesome her posse she gathered in the shame or because you always say foreign she refers to two different meanings of yaisin hashem gathered in my shame but then and then she calls him the icing but in case you're wondering which is the right which is the reason lame or he called you safe to know not because i shall gather in my shape because there should give me another kid that's exactly what's happening here at the stage that we were saying that what is the problem that even people who are trying to live and even people who are trying to be productive it's because of the mun problem because they don't want to feel guilt and shame they don't want to walk around with the heaviness of being indebted what passes as independence from most people is not being dependent and that's what the word independence really means i am not dependent i am independent and that's that that's stage five independence is stuck at stage five that you're not dependent and therefore you don't have to you can look people in the eyes it's not it's not reno i'm i'm indebted i get that and that's what she says in the beginning she names her kid got rid of my shame but that's not the goal and she doesn't name her kid you say because hashem got rid of her shame the goal isn't to not to not be shamed the goal is to be you is to be bigger and that's what she says i want to be expansive i don't want to be defensive i don't want to be not dependent i want to be me independent means i'm not dependent on you the goal is is to be vibrant than me is yo say for even is to be bigger is to be to be myself and that's the image of what you say is no singles walking around people talk about yosef the same way they're talking about the 70 elders here it's oh my god they're too big like who do you think you are we're all going to bow down to you we're all it's the same thing everybody's playing defense when you see someone who's vibrant and alive but it's exactly the word she says accepted seven elders even though they were saying prophecy outside of the temple outside of where they were supposed to it was because it was your song it's a holy problem the holy problem is not knowing where to stop but not being locked in yourself and just being concerned would be the shape that's stage five so that's the summation over here the world for the most part talks about independence but the goal in the world of independence is to be guiltless and shameless to be not dependent by us that's only stage five and uh my own creativity being me of course that's not great it should be too big but uh that's the last stage the last stages pleasure i think was final stage when you're independent but you're not trying going through all the stages just to end it you're not uh you don't want to just be like everybody else you don't want to just be undefined and free and then undefined to be nobody like this right you also don't want to be uh the chiller just in his life to get out of where he was what he got going to go to israel to get away from home but you're actually you're in israel because you're learning but you're not learning because you don't want to be ashamed learning because you want more whatever it is you're doing what you're doing most people get stuck by level five i'm doing this because of my shame i want i don't want money i don't want the mug because i feel ashamed i want to burn it myself that's not why we want to hurt ourselves not because we're ashamed we want to earn ourselves because i want to be i want to be who i am that's called paradigma face to face final stages when you talk to hashem face to face when he is him and you are you then you talk tasha face to face every single person in the world can talk to hashem face to face when is that when you're being who you when you're showing your face you're being who you're supposed to be that's what the independence is when you learn how to look at hashem face to face you facing a god that's what hashem wants that relationship with him to you not him to somebody else or someone who's playing defense all right if you stuck it out to here you're unbelievable so it's here so you'll help me you'll send me your questions that your artist will argue it out this always happens at the target timeshare we get a hundred ideas and we have to like time all together so i wish you a lot of program and uh if you help me figure this out then you'll enjoy the shares if you made it right give it a share you want to knock yourself all right and uh make sure to give to chickens for shoppers for your unbelievable powerful powerful shield tonight we want to thank everyone for joining us tonight um we want to remind everyone to tune in this saturday night as well as every saturday night for an amazing multi-shoppers program with dr david lieberman and rabbi devin goldwasser is actually going to be this saturday night the one year celebration of us of the special of the special saturday night program with dr living robert go west everyone should tune in 10 p.m eastern time this saturday night um on tourneytime.com live call in 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