Rabbi Yitzchok Oelbaum: The Solution to Stopping Machloket

remove the three weeks we'll talk a little bit three weeks in yonem on the three weeks so you know the three weeks of the lead up to tisha both and it begins with chivas we had on sunday this is the day as described in sleekness the walls that protected us the oils fell down and they were able to come into your shalom another history to this day this is the day that maisha broke the luchas today much about lucas and we know he broke the luchas because when he came down he saw the eggo that cloud you throw they were praying to so maisha broke the luchas because this day shabbath thomas that day lucas were broken my shirt comes down and he sees that client's world they're donning the ego and he breaks the lookups we know the possible compassion for mice in shamas parish tells us because they serve the ego that are nakaya made for them how are we to understand that aaron acclaim made the eagle for claudia's role the god ladder he makes an egg of a cloud you saw how you even comprehend such a thing that was like saying can't believe such a thing so what does it mean that anakin made an angle i don't even understand what that means why would he do that he says the arab made the ego because he knew if he didn't make the ego there would be a tremendous macholicus in claudius row of yes making and not madeleine between those who wanted to make the egos didn't want to make the eagle and aaron chose avoid desert over mahleikas because these words are mind-boggling because macholikis is worse than being so iron chose over mach like us how he to understand this that way is better than mccoy unbelievable [Applause] and one thing we do know is that the mesa magnus was destroyed because of hating other jews hate comes from akhlaikus we don't just hate somebody for nothing right but there are clown we have an argument with somebody and then it turns ugly say hey it counts for mach lakers so i want to go into this a little bit how do we avoid mach lakers what is mark lakers but i believe that our one of our avoid this in the three weeks is to better ourselves i believe a good thing we could work on is machoice let's take one thing we come into tish above of the monitors above but if we could come into teaching with one last macholicus one thing i made up with somebody be tremendous for us knowing that we worked on this better yet imagine you're coming to this above and you know you made up with somebody was one of the big avoid this i made up with somebody it was a hard thing to do but i did it well i was miss governor i was able to make up with somebody so let's let's talk about though let's get a little physical maybe we're all going to get on the phone after the share be able to call one guy and say you know what happened a few weeks ago yeah it's stupid i'm sorry children i'm sorry maybe on the phone so schlock called alvin's kilo like he was ever gone alvin's back on his gamer voice he's gabaldic so schlockholdish writes i don't need to discuss mach lakers because there's so many sauron that talk about it but dr khadas take this rule with you mahlikis is worse than avoiding zara so i'm backing up what we said with the shlock others a lot of strong write about it but take this rule with you that is worse than a desire and dr that the mon fell just about every day we were in the middlebury even when claudius made the egg of the month fell even okay even when we did the egg of the month fell but i said when didn't demand fall that was a regular desire when you had the eagle that fell okay i don't say danny didn't fall mind-boggling i think about legacy okay i got to fight what's the big deal he hates me okay i said i pushed the thing didn't fall for anyone didn't fall for the people involved it's a good question i'm not sure well you see i think it would be on a whole we're all part of one nation but we see clearly over here that cardiovasa that's what it did when it was on because it stopped when there was the ego it continued and yakul shmaini tells us that just about the entire door of achov we know they were over there by zara yet they won every war yet they won every war either and the answer is because in that dar they didn't speak lush and horror it wasn't so much like this they didn't tell questions i didn't talk about other people i feel like they were but they won the wars the muhammad they they won even though because there's no russian horror but if you look in the military there was so much torah even the little kids do torah but they lost the worst how could it be there was so much torah so much torah and here he lost the wars and over there there was starting with desire and there he won the war what's the chat and the territory because of the door people were talking and talking and talking and talking because of that they lost the war the reminds me today there's so much torah but in social media in one second you just send out a whatsapp and everybody knows what's going on even it's not true then you find that you find that a month later uh that thing wasn't true we forgot about it but it was hot it was i know the guy sent it to him to him to him dude everybody got it this guy who can get him not posh it the door of achov they wonder but what happened they lost the wolf because a lot of lush and her and the shlock quotes this madrid this yacht he quotes it as a source to show us are worse than avoided and we're all human beings we all like to talk it's almost enjoy to talk about other people also let's work on one thing at times we don't even realize we're talking about it about somebody right it's normal we talk we don't realize so i'm not telling you to work on that you don't even realize you talk about other people i want to work on one unique nekuda how many times are we talking to people and our brain hits us for a second we get a little clap ah should you say it should he not it happens to all of us one little makuta i want to come in that no i came into tisha but i worked on something that didn't that the basement was destroyed i'm a sucking something how many times do we talk and we've got the little tap on the brain like that i stop should i say it or should i not say it i want to utilize that tap that we all get i'm not going to say it i'm not going to say it we all have that moment in our life i'm not going to say it someone's got a daily that tap someone's got a weekly depending on how outgoing you are if you if you talk like a baba you probably get a few times a day but you don't talk so much you don't get it but we all get that in our in our life but the mice is it worth it to say it what i'm about to say now is worse than avoid desire you can't even understand it and the question is if i say what i'm saying what am i gaining usually what are you gaining by saying it if you stop for a second the answer is nothing what's my proof because my proof is if you walk out you need the bathroom you run out to the bathroom by time you come back you're not even going to want to say what you wanted to say now 99.99 of the time right it's the biggest riot so for that one second to feel geshmach but you don't even need it because you all agree if you run after two minutes and come back you're not even going to say what's on your mind so why am i saying it okay we have a sahara that's pushing us but it's a vice that as much as we feel the urge to say it and i believe me i like to talk a lot i also won't know what that urges but the biggest proof is when we walk out for that second and when you come back you're not even saying it so the urge is the mom's like it's a fake urge it's an um just kicking us in and pushing us to do it because you agree when you walk out you come back you're not even saying it anymore towards the vert it's a horror it's a little tap so the biggest proof to us that even if i want to say it they have nothing to gain come out come out nothing again you know in life life oh i have to get big trouble him this is uh i call him ablaze my second father everyone's gonna ask why you weren't here for five years but whatever i'm telling them welcome oh you see welcome so you know in life most people would like to do things for personal gain and there's usually usually there's nothing to gain by talking bad about other people usually is nothing to gain and the proof is like we said before we're having a conversation i want to say something but when i walk out and i come back in i'm not even going to say what i wanted to say most comments are timely it's right upon what's exactly but very good the biggest proof is when i walk out and i come back in i'm not going to say it anymore so it can't be that important if you're making money on it then you ask yourself even then it's uh sir but on a serious note think about it there's no personal gain so why am i doing it the answer is we have to realize that just a little tap on the head to be discussed before so i want to tell you a story that happened in europe and the story happened in the city of kempner what happened the city hired ahazen and the rabbi didn't want this guy who they chose to be the cousin he said how could i hear ahazen how could have somebody represent us claudius who's a balavari he said so somewhere on the rabbi's side like today and somewhere on the other side it's a normal thing right you have hvh so this rough decided he's going to write a letter to the puzzler of and he's going to ask him what should i do what should i do say hi this cousin i don't want him a lot of people do want him what should i do she sends thereof of pozna and this is what the rav of poznan writes back unbelievable he tells him it's better to hold back from a city than to fire this again this was the rav's response he said i don't care he says if you're going to cause a fight better to back off and have this guy be the khazen that they have mahleika so see again how strong this thing is you said it's worse than available we brought ramakram saying that mahlikis is worse than being ira vidar yeah so we see from here either up says abolivera i don't care it doesn't matter myself my clique is the rover back right puzzler upsetting he says leave the house and forget it and in this world there's nothing worse than mac like is the rambam wrote the following letter to his son listen when he writes to the son he tells his son don't contaminate your soul with machekis he says which destroys our soul our body and money and the rambam tells his son i've seen cities destroyed families that were successful they all fell because of and he says the naveem already discussed how bad mahlikis is add to it tell us how bad it is says the rambam we should run away from it and stay away from it because you don't want to fall into this trap because it's very hard to get out and polagi was myself he says that i've seen so many times that there are men and women cities countries who just were fighting and they lost everything see so somebody who has a little bit of cycle will be mavatar somebody who understands what mahogany brings this amigdas for crying out if we understand what it brings we will be movavatar and the sky will be on us i know a family very close family they're a big family business the whole family works in the business for some reason the father decided before the father died he's giving he's giving his business they own a lot of apartment buildings for some reason decided he's putting all the apartment buildings on two of the kids names nobody knew so the father dies the business on two of the kids names it's like eight kids can imagine what's going on so two kids are saying what do you mean my name but the wolf says the stuff take care of you so i'm still paying you whatever you want don't worry you're a partner silent partner who happens to be not on the real estate in the fighting with the guys what do you mean he said that's what a father wanted what do you want from me so the entire family eight kids are all on payroll and they all live a comfortable life but they never saw an extra dime of profits ever it just didn't make money the mice of the family truth is it's a 50-year family business 50 years the mindset they worked it out they were i know the family they were this close to having a much like us like you can't imagine they worked it out i could say one of the grandkids told me the kid the son told me so the first time in 50 years the business is doing better than ever everyone's getting profits we worked it out you said i tribute because we're this close to having much like us everything was literally about to blow up he said about to blow up there's a family that's close very close and he stood up they said we're going to fight this macho we're going to make sure we're not going to have a fight i don't personally and the mice are the first time in 50 years they have prophets i never saw in their life they worked it out if they probably put them on and they worked it out even the will said this they put everybody whatever had to do they did abhinav but if your father knew what it was gonna be why did he give it only to two kids the followers he doesn't want to the other kids to have a risk having their name on the property you meant a good intention because you have to if you have to go for mortgages and stuff then you're going to have a risk and this and that it this was just kashmir the mice the point is they worked it out and like there was no more like this and now they're making money like i've ever made we see that hashem gives you the seat of the shemaya and he gives us the shaft from bracha we just have to do that extra the extra establish people don't realize explaining the share by zoro macholicus is worse than anybody desire and we all know the story in paris the way he was punished i don't think ever happened again and didn't happen thereafter what happened maisha says embryo hashem if hashem will create a new creation and the earth will open up its mouth and swallow them and everything they have that's what the passage means understand so we have so many things like this they're called earthquakes why are you telling me that hashem created a new thing in the world that the world opened up and people fell in i asked that whenever you tell me it's a new thing never ever it was a new creation what do you mean we have earthquakes it falls deaf again oh it's the answers very good so the rambam explains this was different the earth literally opened up its mouth ate them up and swallowed them literally swallowed them close back my mission with york that was a new creation that was mama she new thing usually i have something that opens up it fills up with sand with water with everything else over here clark it opened up and then it closed back it literally closed and said open your mouth boom that's almost what happened so this was different so the question is why was it so necessary if i should do something so weird does he have my clique it's very nice i'm gonna change tether change teva open it close maybe open let them go inside why'd i have to close again just read a sign ah oh very good you see you're leading up very good so terence is hashem want us to remember this you sight there's a bit of a story a story a guy was a majoricus karakov doing terrible things have they died in a natural way no one's going to remember it natural cause but the advice over here is that no there was a machoist we're coming in we're going to change the world i'll remember how bad mcclaykis is so it's a fascinating thing who changed the teva he changed the natural ways of the world so we should understand how bad my clayques is i'm going to open it up and i'm going to close it even though it's not the norm i'll be we should remember how bad maklakus is and how would you stay away from it that is going to be a machis one day this is everybody who's a famous art and what did he ask he asked he says my name shouldn't be mentioned next to kairak the pastor says what happens he tells us because yaakov asked that his name should not be present with maclaiques i don't want to have any chairs to this leave me out of it i want to have nothing to do with it nothing and actually later it tells us something fascinating later in the parser it possibly tells us you want to know how bad mcclaykis is we know that bezen chamata the best down here doesn't punish somebody unless he's borrowed boss mitzvah right we know you're not a bar you know you know you're not responsible you're not responsible unless you're a certain age embedded in somalia doesn't punish until then till your estrogen tell you 20 right it's very funny we see that even nursing babies died but what they do doesn't turn out in punishment until you're 20. so what's up shout out to babies it says the babies died what's the reason for that so why is mach like it so severe that even the nursing babies died says the morale and safety he says it's not that hashem brings punishment on the babies he says no that's how it happened he says but when you have machoichus when there's machoichus gehenna's together what does that mean she explains like this it says that were created on the same day the second day of creation were created so they literally go hand in hand they're attached they're both created on the second day they go hand in hand and that's the reason young kid died since macholicus is united with punishment and you're under the same roof as much mahleikas you have that punishment together they're created the same day they're both created in the second day so they come together so when you have them because what happens is you have that guy had them together so when one makes my clique is he brings and therefore the punishment is with him and with his family are coming along let's see clearly over here he separated between the up uh the waters up there and the waters down here i understand but he said the second day he was created it was almost like they come hand in hand they're attached so some of those two things are attached so if someone has a macho because you have they get in there you're living here under the roof yeah yeah mclegg is in the house see everything ahead of there everything is written together he says it comes it's not you you did it in a vera and you get an irish right after see here that's what he says you know the story goes to me at maison machis doesn't pay so there was a young couple with it's actually an american couple they had a baby first kid they had a baby brisk pineapple schmuck everything's going on very nicely but then five months later the kid had a terrible odor it was an odor of a dead body terrible sharing with the doctors they had no idea what it might have no idea what this was so the kid's grandfather was a tamara of osner and he tells the son he says you know let's go to the rav travel territories for all and the rav will give us a bracha let's see what's going on that's tyra that's tyra he goes with his son he goes he goes with the son he takes him they go to her and he greets him he says his talmud he hasn't seen in a long time and he talks to his talon and says how you doing he says good what's going on he tells a little story with the baby the doctors have no idea what it is and now vozna tells him he says who's the child named after a weird question so the grandfather says because they ain't up to my father and ravoza asked why isn't the first child named after the wife's family usually that's the norm unless there's a haskell if there's a hassle of something else but what's the shot why isn't the child after named after the wise family and the grandpa says he's what do you mean he said let me tell you something this is my son's father-in-law we're not talking to her since the wedding it's a very very mensch so there's no shadows with anything and he looks at the sun he says what's going on he says yeah he says my shiver is a svaramedge sverumensch i'm makaski am i getting involved and i did whatever my father wanted the mice when he was named after my father's father and rabota says now i hop everything he says this is how things turn out when there's a machis he tells the father you must ask you sure merciless and add a name sounds crazy right add a name after your wife's side and the son looks at a voice where he says what he had a name absolutely not i'm not calling him so robson i understand you traveled all this way not to listen to what i'm telling you what do you want you traveled from america i gave you a sock i told you what to do okay okay the rob's saying okay okay the mind said they pushed him i've always pushed him into the side room he goes into the side room and he makes the phone call to he says we're ready to give a name i'm asking i'm sorry we had a fight they land in kennedy airport the wife calls him it's nine hours later the other one away cliques that would went away oh run away how many times do we say i want to fix something how many times if someone gets sick never people get sick and right away we're thinking calling this rabbi that rabbi or i'm gonna fast every mondays and thursdays if you're really aggressive you know or i'm gonna start coming to dominic on time or i'm gonna start doing this i'm gonna start doing that or people are gonna start making color for you there's so many nice things but we're going to push everything on to other people to do as a squish for me make khala we've got 100 people in the room i'm going to i'm just going to write the check for someone to duck so many nice things we do what about the mahlika's part we see clearly how strong and what it does to us we said in the beginning to see what it does to us is fire and we see chloro from our nuclear iron made the eagle we explained earlier because better after a desire that like like this and crystal fights he makes the eagle i am the nairo can i make someone sick let's dig in we're now at opportunity before someone's sick let's make that phone call before tisha buff of the orientation above this movie was destroyed because of having fights in san estrina we see what fire it is it's fire so we see claire how strong my leg is the question is what can we do and try to avoid my clickers so i saw brought down for a miles but i mean he said a few interesting points i want to say over maybe they're pushing but when you hear it when we hear it again it makes a difference so you breathe it from the level of a rubber so when you're talking to somebody and you feel that almost what we said earlier a little different when you feel the urge he says to make my legs he says put water in your mouth don't swallow it you can't talk he says he says that is a good type of fat muck like this you put water in your mouth because yeah he said as long as you could push off my hikers he says keep that mouth full of water and it breaks down i mean we said before he said almost you're about to say something you walk in my clinic is by the same you saw yourself before flesh and horror by the way good thing with my clay so i'm not to argue with somebody you know how many times someone's talking to you and you're about to say something about the screaming and something just taps your brain and you're like you know what i'm going to think about it i want to respond i go to sleep and i wake up in the morning and all of a sudden it's cool it's look like the inside exactly i didn't say it right but it was i had such a timer to say it that second i told you to say if you wake up in the morning you have a clear mind oh and everything looks different everything looked bleak and everything looked green and red also turned just like beautiful skies and everything's fine what changed the terrace is not important to say it it's mom it's not important to say it if we push things off a little bit it changes our entire perspective it changes everything we just have to be knowledgeable about it and what taraya pushing off helps we see by moisture what happens the whole fight who's becoming the kind god so maisha says tomorrow hashem will disclose who's going to be the king god why tomorrow why doesn't say today what does it mean tomorrow is going to tell us who's the kind girl we'll say it now what do you mean tomorrow so rashford explains you know what i was pushed off because we figured that if you could push off a machoke's for another day maybe he'll get sense into him and realize that you're not the one meant to be and there won't be a fight i'll push it off tomorrow i'll put you up tomorrow the mice unfortunately he fell he fell and it didn't help but be a march like 99.99 is worse than available we explained 10 times in the beginning so this is an important antidote against mahleikas let's wait we'll have to act right away we don't have to let's think it over man tomorrow i'll decide not to do it or maybe you'll realize which happens i think eighty percent of the times attack i misunderstood the enemy wasn't malicious what he said didn't mean to be bad so if i put you tomorrow that's what he meant and we are held back from something that is detrimental to us and our family so let's wait to push things off be better for us i'll be for everybody so i want to conclude it's interesting to acute the schwa says so the word is right he goes through every letter every word hints to much like he says like this the first letter is men it says ma'am has a small opening in the bottom this alludes to a minor breach of peace a little breach of peace a little bit it's a little issue a little issue so you could quickly fix the problem and you could end the much like this right only is one guy to be a little bit bigger than the other that's all you need and then he says this brings us to the following letters yes it's open wide in the bottom and the mclaren's got bigger top is closer right looks like a little bit bigger and then you have lamin and kuff it's out of control it's up down fires fly everywhere he says flies and then he says you have stuff so then you have self taught the self he says huge on the bottom it's very big he says machlakis is standing securely on two feet and it's open it doesn't even need to be it doesn't need any balance is there it's growing he says the macholic is firmly established and it's not difficult to amend so because we have to fix it right away we have to fix it right away and what happens if we did start on my clickers my click get started click has started how do we end it so he brings that into a very interesting thing which we all know we all have that that same dot we said in the beginning that little tap with the lotion horror is another tap how many times you talk to somebody and we have an argument with the person and i go home and i'm thinking should i just send him that text sorry for today that little text i say i'm pushing up to tomorrow and tomorrow i meet him in shul but then everybody is in the next corner and you have that tension you have thick air you feel awkward and you're thinking should i do it try not to once that happens then we're already in a position where like this already bothers my covert already i'm gonna ah me him maybe it's his fault i didn't do anything so the real thing is and we have a machine with somebody we have the little tap right away we we amend the nip it in the butt chances are 99 of the time and it's over it's done people just need one person has to be a big boy and the way we understand now how bad and how that tremendous is to us it shouldn't be so hard to do it so i said in the beginning if you all before tisha b'av the same things were destroyed because of this you saw it as we thought there were so many bad things that if we could come into the tissue of knowing that i am ended up like us think about it what is the big deal pick up a phone you'll feel so good after you feel good usually a person is it's over but the source we're always looking for this is disgusting repeat again to avoid mach like is they built the ego we thought we saw from the schlage kaddish that hamachika's is worse than available here we have an opportunity we're sitting here in the three weeks it's our void our work that we have let's just pick up that phone if we could know we came into tisha buff hopefully we won't need it but there is a tissue but we come in and we know that i picked up that phone and i made that phone call i stopped the machos the amount of broccoli that we will have for our family fergan's kala israel would be unbelievable so i want we're going to pick up the phone i'm going to do it i don't have fights with nobody i'm joking that's where it starts i am power nobody i'm going to do it bleed other i'm picking up the phone i'm going to make that phone call we all do that and we should only we shouldn't have tishava which should be exactly the same this year on the day the 9th of of with the me