Rabbi YY Jacobson - How to Forgive

[Music] the story you just uh watched Rabbit Senyung of blessed memory share about her time in Bergen Belin. I heard the first time from her when we were together for a uh Shabbaton in Scottsdale in Sedona. You know Sedona, the red city in Arizona. There was a weekend retreat there and I was invited to speak and I came there and to my delight I see that Rabbi Syung was also there for Shabas. I didn't know she would be there. And we were sitting in sch smoozing and uh she told me that the reason that she was there was because there was somebody she once knew and their child became uh socially, emotionally, psychologically and spiritually quite lost. So she traveled, she took the flight to Sedona, pretty remote place, so that Sunday she would be able to meet this youngster and try to encourage this young girl and give her some hope. And in order to make it there, she had to be there on Shabas. So we had a very meaningful Shabas together. She spoke, I spoke. And uh it was very moving to me to see sometimes uh you see great speakers, orators, lecturers, teachers, leaders who are very good with large audiences. After all, uh there'll soon be a debate tonight and you'll see what I mean. And the sign of a true Jewish leader is somebody who uh cares for one as much as they care for a thousand because they understand that a thousand are really made up of ones. And that chabas she told the story of her father telling her in Bergen Belin when her brother asked where are the angels her father said you are you are the shabas angels there was uh a lot of emotion in the crowd when she shared the story and perhaps Robert Senyong didn't even realize maybe or she did probably but I don't even know to the extent of how much American youngsters haven't heard Friday night a message from their parents that you are the Shabas angels just to have the serenity the sacred space in a home where the iPhones are off the television is off people are sitting together that a father or a mother could say you are the angels is a very unique phenomenon in today's world, you need a space. You need the mental space, the the family space, the emotional space. And I would say in a way you could summarize Rabbi Syungra's lives as one who always tried to impart that message that she heard from her father in Bergen Belin to young Jewish women and men throughout the world, throughout America and throughout the world that uh you are really the Shabas angels. You are the angels to bring the light, the serenity, the spirituality, the meaningfulness of shabas uh throughout uh your environment and throughout the world. And uh we offer to you uh Mrs. uh Slavi Yung Wolf our deepest condolences on the passing of your mother, a great teacher, a great soul, a great spirit, and really a great angel of Shabas. uh for so many so many Jews and may her inspiration and uh living legacy inspire all of us to be Shabas angels. When I finished my speech in Sedona, she came over to me and she said, "I'm going to call your Tati and tell him how good his baby was." how good his baby was. And it reminded me Raf Cook was the first chief rabbi of Israel, Rabbi of Ramitzkayen Cook. And his mother died, not a young woman. She was old and he was one of the great personalities of the time. And he was crying hysterically by the funeral. And they asked Raf Cook, you know, your mother was wasn't a youngster. Why the hysteria? And he said, "Nobody will ever call me again a you know now I'm Raf cookarashi." He was a great man, but nobody will ever call me. So that touch of a uh of a mother is uh is unique and uh hearing that from her was very uh very endearing. So my friends, you know, I was asked to talk about forgiveness, how to forgive others, how to forgive God, how to forgive yourself. It's a tough topic but I guess if not before Yam Kipper when [Music] but uh on a lighter note there was once a Jew and a Hindu and a politician who went hiking. You think it's funny? It's not so funny to get a Jew to go hiking. They went hiking in Tennessee and they got lost somewhere and it was night and they couldn't find a hotel and there's three people stranded. So they find this farmhouse and they knock on the door and the farmer comes out says how can I help you and the Jew the Hindu the politicians say you know we hiking here we thought there'll be a hotel we can't find the hotel can we sleep over the night farm how the farmer says of course the problem is have only two beds so two of you could go into the bedroom and one of you will have to sleep in the barn but the barn is very comfortable so they all look at the Hindu you know and he says okay I'll go to the barn and the Jew and the and the politician go to the beds. 10 minutes later, there's a knock on the door of the bedroom. They open the door. The Hindu is there. They say, "What's the problem?" He says, "I can't sleep in the barn." Why? Says, "There's a cow in the barn." A Hindu is not allowed to sleep in the same room like a cow. A cow is holy. A cow is sacred. I'm sorry. They say, "The Jew says, "Okay, I'll go to the barn." So, the Hindu goes to sleep with the politician. The Jew goes to the barn. 10 minutes later, the Jew is at the door knocking. They open the Jew. What's the problem? Jew says, "I'm not allowed to sleep there." Why? There's a pig. How can a Jew sleep in the same room like a pig? It's unfathomable. I need the bed. So, they both look at the politician. I guess you got to go to the barn. The politician goes to the barn and the Jew and the Hindu go to sleep. 10 minutes later, there's a knock on the door. The Jew and the Hindu open the door. Who's at the door? The cow and the pig. [Music] friends. You just got it. Okay, it's fine. It's fine. This is the my introduction to the debates. 9:00 tonight since I'm going to be on an airplane. So I just wanted to participate in some way just to give it perspective to put it into context so you understand what America is uh what America is dealing with what America is facing. Forgiveness forgiveness let's put it simply the great mystics ask a question. Why is it that children don't bear grudges and adults do? Why is it that your child can tell you, "Mommy, I hate you. You're the worst mommy in the world. Tati, I'm never talking to you again, and you're not getting a piece of my birthday cake." But 10 minutes later, when you give them ice cream, they're your best friends again. What about an adult? adult tells you, "I'm never speaking to you again." 10 years later, they still cross the street when you're there. They will not invite you to their grandchild's bitzvah. Adults are more mature. Why do we hold on to grudges for weeks, months, years, centuries, some of us decades, and if we would live long enough, millennia? And the mystics say the answer is this. Children choose being happy over being right. Adults often choose being right over being happy. For children, the most important thing is to be happy. Mended relationships contribute to happiness. For adults, the most important thing is to be right. So even if I know that I'm going to be miserable, I would rather be miserable, but I'm going to be right. So if you'll tell me, Rabbi Jacobson, pick up a phone and apologize. No way. Why? Cuz they might think they were right. No way. Let's be miserable, but I'm going to be right. Children choose being happy. And that's a choice we all have to make in life. Do you want to be right or do you want to be happy? Yes. Maybe your mother was wrong. Maybe your mother-in-law was wrong. Maybe not. Maybe your father was wrong. Maybe your brother was wrong. Maybe your sister-in-law was wrong. Maybe your child was wrong. Maybe your partner, your friend, your colleague, your employer, your employee. Maybe, I don't know, maybe yes, maybe not. Maybe 90% wrong. Maybe 80, maybe 60% wrong. Maybe completely wrong. But when there's conflict in families, when there's conflict in communities, when there's conflict between friends or former friends, there's toxicity that exists in your life, in your soul, in your home, in your relationships. There is a part of you that dies when a relationship dies. There's no denying it. I know it in my life. I think we all know it in our lives. When I'm connected to somebody in a deep way and I cut them off from my life, it's a form of amputation, it's an emotional, it's a spiritual amputation. And that part of me dies. And when I have the courage to pick up a phone, no texting, by the way. You don't apologize through texting. That's a game that's fake. Better face to face, but at least a telephone call. We don't like speaking on the phone anymore. We love texting, but it's really a mask. When I have the courage to call up and apologize, a certain part of me comes back to life. Now, how the other person responds is their choice. I can't control other people's lives, but I could control my attitudes. Before yum kipper, we ought to cultivate the courage to be happy, not to be right. If you want to do something good for your soul tonight when you get home, call up your brother, call up your mother, call up your whoever it is that you have or had an issue with, even if you were right, and say, "I'm sorry. Let's make up. I apologize." You will see the change that happens in your soul, especially that often it's not so black and white. Usually, not one side is black and the other side is white. Usually, it's a little bit of a mixture. Even if in your case, I'm sure it's different. Knowing your mother-in-law, who I will apologize to after the speech. Now, me and my mother-in-law get along. Unbelievable. She's a She's an angel. She lives in Pittsburgh. I live in Muny. It's great. And answering machines were created for mothersin-law. You know there is a woman her name is Yv Cricggsman. I happen to know some members of the family. She was a girl in a camp in the Catskll mountains in New York and her grandparents and parents came for visiting day. So, she was with her mother and grandmother and her father and her grandfather took a stroll through the camp grounds. And as they're walking, her grandfather who just passed away a few years ago meets another old man walking and he gives him a slight little what I call Jewish nod. You know those nods like this? Like a little tiny nod like when you know somebody but you don't know them. You know, you don't know them enough to say hi but you know them enough not to ignore them. It's like one of these complex Jewish knots. Like it's just a trap. You know, you're stiff but whatever. Jews do it all the time. It's like the knot in. [Music] So he gives him this kn. So his son his name is Robbie says Tati who was who was this old man says he my best friend before the war. We learned together we were kuses. Says your best friend before the war. Why didn't you hug him? Why didn't you embrace him? Why didn't you truce him to me? Let's not go there. He says, "What do you mean your best friend? Why? Why weren't you more enthusiastic about meeting him?" He says, "Trust me, it's better not to talk about." He's really curious. He nudes and pleads with his father to tell him. So his father tells him as they're walking and this guy is walking the other way. His father says, "My best friend, literally my best friend. We were closer than brothers. We lived in Romania. As we just heard on the video, dark clouds were descending on Eastern Europe. I had foresight. I had a wife. I had a little baby. I had in-laws. We were living together. I got myself visas and papers to be able to leave when I have to leave. And I put them in a hiding place. You know, Romania remained neutral for quite a few years, but ultimately it was dominated by a Nazi controlled regime. And one day my best friend comes to me and says, "What are you doing about about the dangers, the lurking dangers?" And I tell him, "I got these visas and I hid them." And he tells him the hiding place. Best friend, that night, he says, "I go to that place to see and check up on my visas. They're gone." I turn over the whole house. Imagine they're gone. I run to my best friend's house. It's empty. The Germans come in. He and his family are transported to Awitz. His wife is murdered. His child is murdered. His in-laws are murdered. He survives. Awitz. Makes it to America. After the war, he hears that his best friend got out on time to the safe side of Romania. His family was saved and he came to America. So he says, "Robbie, now you understand why I didn't embrace him." He says, "Father, I don't understand you. So why didn't you punch him in the face?" I would have punched him in the face. He says, "It's over. It's over. There's nothing to do." Says, "What do you mean it's over? It's over." This guy indirectly caused the demise of your loved ones, your family. And his father says, "Let me tell you something. Those were different times. People were so desperate to live. They would do anything to survive. Even unthinkable criminal acts to survive. It was a different time, a different era. There's nothing I can do to fix it. I could remain resentful and bitter or I could decide to move on. I decided to move on. [Music] I heard the story. I told you I know some family members. The man was a pretty happy fellow. And I thought to myself, you know, most of us haven't had such an experience where somebody did this. What if somebody would do it? Is it possible to forgive? Did he forgive him? I don't know that he could forgive him. I don't know that you could forgive somebody for this. I don't know. I'm not in the position to answer that question. But I'll tell you what he did do. He managed to look at it from the other person's perspective, not to justify it, but to see it from the perspective of the other person who's desperately trying to live. And that allowed him maybe not to forgive, but to be able to move on and not live in an endless orbit of anger, hate, resentment, frustration. And I say to myself, if that person can do it under such dire conditions, if we would be able to see things from another person's perspective, which does not mean they're right, and it does not mean what they said or did was not hurtful or wrong, but it means the ability to really see something somebody from another person's perspective. That's the beginning of a relationship. And I think it's the beginning of finding the space in you to be able to ask forgiveness and to be able to offer forgiveness and forgive somebody else. But for this I have to see things from your perspective. You know, there was this Jewish woman who was working really, really hard and suddenly this genie pops out from the refrigerator and says, "You're such a good lady. I decided to come and offer you to fulfill any of your three wishes. Three wishes you have." The lady says, "Okay, my first wish is that my husband should have eyes only for me." The genie says, "Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. That's too much. I know your husband. what's your second wish? Says, "My second wish is that I should be the most important thing to him in his life." The genie says, "Well, you're really pushing it today. I know your husband. Come on. What's your third request?" My third request is that when he wakes up in the morning before he runs out of bed 45 minutes, he should just spend time with me. The genie is like, "Whoa, this is getting more difficult from moment to moment, but let me see what I could do. Let me think about it." And the genie says, "You know what? I will grant you all your three wishes. And within a few seconds, this woman was transformed into an iPhone 7. [Music] And indeed, the husband had eyes only for the iPhone, and it was the most important thing for him in his life. And every morning, 45 minutes he spends not doing anything else but examining the iPhone. You know, there's something else about forgiveness that I want to tell you. There's a God in the world. And that means you hurting me is not the beginning and the end of the story. You may have done something that for me was difficult. But what allowed me to experience that difficulty was not you wanting to do it. It was God allowing it to happen to me. That means there's an element here between me and God. The Talmud says somebody who gets furious is worshiping. It's like he's worshiping idols. Why? The answer is cuz I'm getting furious because I really believe that you control my world. You know, if you slam the door on my finger, it ever happened to you? Oh, it happened to me once. My best friend slammed the door and my my thumb was stuck. It's like, oh my god, it hurts. Right. But would I go over to the door and start punching the door? You criminal. You low life. That's what we do with kids. We hit the door. We we we knock the the floor that made the boo boo and it makes them feel better. But we know the door is not guilty. Somebody else slammed the door. He did it intentionally or unintentionally. In that case, it was unintentional. People don't have control over our lives. God does. When you say you do something that hurts me, ultimately my getting furious, my getting angry really represents the fact that I don't realize that you were basically like the door. Maybe you made a bad choice, but there's something else that I have to look at. And that is it's my own relationship with myself. and to realize that ultimately God wanted me to experience this and that means there is something meaningful here. Maybe painful but meaningful. I'll never forget an experience I had. Somebody booked me for a weekend months in advance and therefore I didn't take other weekends. This was it. Friday afternoon they cancel on me. That's not mention. I was very upset. I had to make arrangements for Shabas, but it was also financially I was upset. I'll never forget I went to eat somewhere with my wife that Friday night because we didn't have food prepared. So, we went to a friend for the meal. I came home and I was still furious at them. You cancel that afternoon, you cancel a day before, two days before, week before, month was cancel that day. It's not mesh. We had to get baby. We had planned. There was a whole weekend. I come home to my apartment. I'm living in Brooklyn at the time. I'm sitting on the couch. I'm learning. I'm learning. I fall asleep. 3:00 in the morning. I can't sleep. Now, I usually sleep very well. By the time I go to bed, I'm pretty exhausted. Like every Jew, I go to bed with nine books, thinking that I'm going to read, you know, at least half of them throughout the night. Of course, I take the first book. Within 25 seconds, I'm snoring, and the rest is history. The next night, you bring 18 books. I can't sleep. It's 3:00 in the morning, and I had an office on the fourth floor of the building, and I decide to go up there to check something out. I go up and I see somebody sitting on the steps 3:00 in the morning outside of one of the apartments. I sit down near this person. I put my hand on their back. I say, "What's up? What's going on?" This young man stands up, runs into the apartment, is about to slam the door. My instincts, my sixth sense came to life. I ran after him. I put my foot into the door so it slammed against my foot and I ran in. He screamed, "Get out of here." I took a look at the kitchen counter and I saw the tablets were waiting. He was about He started to swallow the tablets that would take his life. I wrestled him. Thank God I was stronger than him. We wrestled for around 2 hours. Friday night, 3:00 in the morning. Finally, I pinned him down. I stayed with him till 7 in the morning till he got out of this suicidal mode. I took him down to my house. [Music] My wife stayed with him. I went to sh I came back fast. We kept him in the house and then Saturday night we got him the help he needed. today, years later, he's a successful, bright, lovely, delightful young man. And then I realized they cancelled my weekend and I had the privilege of literally not conceptually saving saving a life. And just a few minutes before my lecture, I meet Dr. Gold Waser whose as you know this entire experience the whole Yehoodi in this entire conference this year and last year was created in memory of his wife Zakra of blessed memory who passed away two years ago. And he tells me talking about something else that he was invited by the community in Melbourne, Australia to speak about a very painful issue regarding the Jewish community and some activists started to pressure the community because of their agendas to the pressure was so deep that they cancelled his invitation. an invitation that he was looking forward to, an invitation that would have proved important for his career, for finances, for spiritual impact, for psychological impact. It's very upsetting. At the end, a psychologist there, an orthodox psychologist gets involved and says, "We have to invite him anyway." And the religious community in Melbourne invites him. And he goes, and he ends up marrying this woman. she becomes his wife to Zahava. And I think to myself, you know, he was dethroned, he was rejected, he was defamed on Facebook by certain activists. But that's the only reason he found ultimately his should. Now, I'm not going to tell you that every person who hurts you is out to get you a shak. I did tell him I did tell him that he should have invited the main opponent to do the last blessing under the what's called because after all he owes it to him. But these things taught me a lesson and that is you may have had your intentions but Joseph told his brothers you wanted to harm me but God had his plans. Joseph saves the whole fertile crescent from famine. This allows me not to forget, not to be naive, but to sometimes say there may be a bigger, larger, deeper story. You're not so small. You're not such a victim. Your ultimate master, the one who holds your hands in life is Hashem. And nobody could do anything to you without Hashem. And that means that wherever happens, there is some treasure. Maybe not easy to find, but there's some meaning, there's some purpose. And therefore, I could say, I forgive. I could see it from a larger perspective. Friends, there's something else, and this has to do with forgiving God. Now, that's a tough one for Jews. That's a tough one. I think about Ellie Weisel. Ellie Weisel passed away 3 months ago in July 87. The day before Rashashana 20 years ago 96 he published a public prayer where on the up page of the New York Times the title a prayer for the days of a now you know the New York Times is not the newspaper to read material about Rashana and Yam Kipper you could read other stuff there but weel decided to publish his prayer and it's a conversation he has with God on the pages of the New York Times now you want to know how come God why do you talk to God in the New New York Times. I guess God is everywhere. He must be even in the New York Times, as surprising as that may be. And Weisel talks to God and he says, "50 years ago, I wrote some very nasty things about you. You read Knight, his book Night, and I wrote them to you because I was feeling them because of what I saw in the death camps." But he says, "50 years later, I want to make up with you. It's been too hard to be estranged from you. My questions were not coming from outside of faith. They were coming from inside of faith. You were my best friend and I didn't know why did you betray me. I relied so much on you. Why did you let me down? I couldn't forgive you. I still cannot get rid of all my questions and pain, but I want to be in a relationship with you. I found it meaningful. I'll tell you why. Some of us are made to believe that prayer or faith means that you feel that everything is perfect, everything is good and you pray and like a genie comes out and everything will change. Yes, sometimes prayer has tangible effects and it always has effects in the physical world or in the spiritual world. But sometimes we don't see those effects. It doesn't always happen. Not for all people, not at all times, not in all places, not in all circumstances. But the name for a Jew is means you battled with God and men and prevailed. To be a Jew means that you battle with God. Prayer doesn't mean always that I ask for something and it happens. Prayer means that I feel that there's somebody to talk to, there's somebody I can cry to, there's somebody I can complain to, there's somebody I can fetch to, there's somebody I can share with, there's somebody I can protest. The world is not indifferent to my struggles, dilemmas, questions. There is a presence at the core of the universe that conceived me in love and wants to hear what I have to say, whatever that may be. It's the courage to be able to know that you're not alone in the world. That takes courage. The spear doesn't take courage. But to really live as these Jews lived by the notion there's somebody who wants to hear from me in life. Sometimes I have to be able to forgive God. I may not understand but I have to be able to forgive. I have to say let's at least be in a relationship. Let's talk. I heard from Ellie Weisel, Jews either love God or hate God, but they don't ignore God. They don't know how to. And that's powerful. It's deep. There's forgiving yourself. That's a tough one. Forgiving yourself. How do you forgive yourself? [Music] Not so simple. You got to cut yourself some slack to Simkipper. You have to forgive yourself. We often look in the mirror and we feel how many people tell me, "Rabbi, I'm such a bad Jew. I'm such a bad person. I've been such a bad mother, bad father. I made so many mistakes. I didn't do this. I didn't do this. I do this. I do this. I'm not good. You have to be able to forgive yourself. I want to tell you a little story. There was a uh a boy, a Jewish boy. He lost in an accident, a devastating accident. He lost his uh his arm. He lost one of his arms. The parents were desperately looking how to help this boy. And they came across a Japanese judo master. You familiar with judo fighting? one of the old martial arts from Japan from the 1920s. And the judo master said he will take this boy under his wings and teach him how to fight judo with one arm. How? Leave it up to him. And he trains him for a long, long time. And finally, he says, "It's time to go to the tournament. You're going to fight." He gets up there. His opponent has two arms. There's no way he could win. And he gets defeated again. punched out again and again. At some point, the referee says, "This is not fear. Let's stop this." But the Japanese judo master insists that he continues. The parents are pleading with him, "Leave our boy alone." No, he will win. And after a few rounds, they go up again. Now, his opponent at this point is overconfident. He relaxes a little bit. He's not so cautiously sensitive to any slight move. He relaxes. is he puts down his guard, his defense mechanisms, and this boy, missing the arm, practicing judo, administers a move, just one move. It's a move that his master has taught him for two years. And he knocks out his opponent completely. The guy can't come back. He triumphed. He gets the trophy. On the way home, he asks his master, "How did I win?" And he says, "When you came here, if you remember, I told you all you need to learn is one move." You see, there is one move in judo that the only known defense against that move is your opponent grabbing on to your right arm. Once you did that move, there was no way he could win because you didn't have the arm for him to grab onto. I thought to myself, what a lesson in life. We look at our lives and we see what's missing. This is missing. That's missing. This was missing. I made this horrible mistake. I did this stupid thing. Everything that's missing. But don't you realize that sometimes it's precisely what we don't have that allows us to make our move in the world that allows us to be victorious. It's the void. It's the mistake. It's the crisis. It's the challenge that gives you a certain energy, a certain opportunity, a certain vulnerability, a certain honesty, a certain depth, a certain acuteness, a certain acumen that allows you to make a move that nobody else could make. So for this yim kipper, forgive yourself. Forgive yourself. Cut yourself some slack. Guilt doesn't come from your godly soul. Guilt comes from the devil that wants to paralyze you. There's a rabbi in it in Israel. His name is Mosha Kim Laauo. His father, former chief rabbi of Israel, Israel, Mayor Laauo. Mashimlau gets a call from a young girl. The young girl, a young woman, she's getting married. She wants him to officiate at the wedding. He says, "When?" He looks at the calendar. It's the night before Passover. The busiest night for a rabbi. People come to sell the you got to clean the house because you got to prepare for the seder. He tells her, "I would love to, but it's impossible. The busiest night of the year, and you don't live right near me. It's a far drive." She says, "I want you." He said, "I'm sorry. Get somebody else." She calls him back again and again and again. And she nudges him and nudes him and he says, "I can't. It's impossible. I cannot leave that night. I have a whole community. It's the night before Pes. I can't. People come with questions and they have to sell their It's the busiest night for a rabbi the whole year." No question. She does not stop. She says, "I heard you do a wedding. It was the best wedding ever, and I want you at my wedding." Finally, he makes a deal with her. If you do the at 5:00 p.m., I'll come and I could leave right after so I have the night, but the has to be 5:00. She agrees. He arrives to the 5:00. Her father, an elderly, elderly man, just came from Argentina, where he lives, to the wedding of his daughter in Israel. He sees a rabbi who came to officiate. And in Yiddish, he says to him, and where are you from? He says from Natana. Rabbi Laauo says and where are you from? He says from the Polish city Petri. Did you ever hear from Petraov? Rabbi Lao gets the chills. His father Rabbi Y is Mayor Lao was born in Petraov, raised in Petriov. He was there till 5 when the Germans sent him to Bhinva. Of course, he heard from Petraov. And the man continues oblivious to the chills he just generated in this rabbi's uh bones. He says, "Do you know who was the last couple to be married in Petri of before all its Jews were murdered?" Rabbi says, "No, me and my wife." 1942, you know who married us off? The rabbi of Petraov. His name was Rabbi Mosha Laauo. He married us off the night before the Germans sent him to Trebinka where he was gassed. The night before he married us off. We ran. We went to the Partisans. He and the community, the whole city of Petraov murdered. This was the last wedding of the Jews in Petraov by Rabbi Mosha Laauo a night before he died. And he turns to this man. He says, "Did you overhear from Rabbi Mosha Loud, the Rabbi of Petraov?" With tears in his eyes, he says, "He was my Zeta, my father's father, and I am named after him. My name is Moshik. I am Lao. You see where my grandfather left off, I take over. My Za married you off. and I will marry your daughter. When your daughter phoned me and said, "Rabbi La, you have to come to the wedding." She didn't know why she was driving me crazy. She told me, "Cuz I heard you. I want you to do the kupa." I didn't know why she needs me. There's other rabbis. But now I know. When the Germans murdered my grandfather and my uncles, most of the family, Rabbi Laauo survived, Rabbi Somo with his brother Nafali. But the mother was killed. The father was killed. Brothers, they thought it was finished. 74 years later, his grandson, his namesake, is here to marry off your daughter. The elderly man and the young Rabbi Laauo meet at the hoop of his daughter. more than seven decades after the destruction of European jury. Imagine. And when I heard this story, Rabbi Laauo shared this on a radio interview when they asked him, "Why are you a rabbi?" It taught me so much. It captured the secret, the essence of Jewish history. Where our grandparents left off, we take over. Where our parents left off, we take over and we pass it on. The word forgiveness in Hebrew is me comes from the word. There's a circle. There's a dance. We're all part of that circle. We're all part of that dance. When I refuse to forgive you, I want to push you out of the circle. You refuse to forgive me. You want to push me out of the circle. We allow pettiness or bigness in our mind to push each other out of the circle. But Jewish history is a mul. We're all part of a symphony. We're all part of a dance. And we ca we carry grudges, hate, negative energy. We can't dance. You know what it's like? It's like the blood circulating around the body in this dance hundreds of thousands times a day, a week, a month, a year. And what happens when there's a clot? The blood is not allowed to flow, to dance, to sway through the body. You have the God's presence is the heart of the Jewish people. And every Jew is an a is a limb. And when I block you out, I want to create a clot. And the dance is affected. The symphony is compromised because everyone has a light to project. Where they started, we continue. And we have the courage to continue that dance, to continue that m. Thank you very much. Heat. Heat. [Music]