Reb Reuven Feinstein on the Haggadah

[Music] a special thank you to the rasa for taking the time to sit with us here in his home in honor of the release of the brand new haod roving fine scene on the haod published by Art scroll so first of all thank you for the time it's a big to be here you thank you um as I said a ma on this beautiful publication written by the rash May and whoever has seen the ha has remarked how beautifully it's written and how insightful it is and like I mentioned through rash before this conversation I was just surprised that it hadn't been published before because so much of what's in here is part of what the Riva grew up with with Thea's father remosa and uh things that have been passed down over the generations um in in a nutsh show what would rash say is the goal of this that rash would want people to take out of it I think that the point is to apply it to their lives now and to figure and to see in their own personal lives right now we actually figure finding ourselves in you really think about it's 1930s again and uh the whole world is against us it doesn't make a difference whether in America or everything else and the same thing existed when we were in Nazi Germany Rosevelt was against theen and he didn't let the Jews into into America England didn't let Jews into Israel and the whole world is against this I don't know we have a guarantee that he's always with us whatever that means and say and then we see how we grew and CLA has grown and the influence that CLA has in the world that means it always had great influence even in the when they were discriminate completely had to become go to become but they but they were the Israeli or other people who became in in in their countries and they were Jews and and you're the most despised people in the world so like how is it whatever he has in planned for us and we see that now also grow growing up in the's Father's House Ina's house was there any component of the Seder or PES in particular that you remember as being very unique see it's hard to call Unique because to me that was was normal uhhuh and so I'm saying I when people ask me to tell them stories about my father how can I say they tell me a story about your father and they laugh and they said like yeah but I say because same thing I only had one father I have no what I can't comp to anything else so I can't really but more let's say more specifically by the say there did did Raa say a lot of D Tyra a lot of we were all he was open to all questions MH and uh and whatever it is and he said a few there few times over the years it was a different point didn't say the same thing over every year it's a different idea every year but it was about three four different places and the go the Dy would talk about it and different things every year yeah and we would and as I say we would all ask whatever we wanted so it doesn't make a difference and I don't even remember have to tell did put it there if I would have remembered it Ina's house was that stolen yes we we we we would steal it uh the most reward we get was Mr a it was a guest Always by was and he always came for p us we he had a few guests we had a few harmonist we think that we that say with us and uh he would be with us and his was a one that was worth money the others were not worth anything but the mindset was it kept the interest we were hide it God I I show I think in the good I think it's discussed that we found a different method of keeping the kids up without going into right righta describes how everyone sings different parts of things they act sounds right whatever is still does that obviously I don't have the say by me anymore I'm the guy that goes to my kids now B uh I go to two different I have three kids living in a neighborhood I go to two a year so and uh before then maybe going back 10 15 years ago we would still have everybody by what I say about 4050 people I mean but but now it's just a fair but they already have that many people so very interestingly Thea describes in this ha how he used to sit next to his father next TOA sounds like Thea had the seat of Honor right next to next TOA and I I found it fascinating the discussion here in and I encourage everyone who buys a to read this at the bottom of some of the pages Thea discusses manhog of the family and Thea describes how RHA had two Matas Anda has two Matas which Minag and uh but's brother sitting over there he sit over there he he he had three M right Anda goes on to describe how ra never said anything to about it I'll tell you even better than that if you really want this is an interesting part or how much he had trust in us I can't answer that um I assume my brother had three because they been this CL you know you have to have a three and every uh has three things there so you know it's three what's my cup two okay could be I don't know since it's my father would not correct it in other words because that means we're pass we're not passing but I can't tell you what three two there's no two is right three is wrong the same thing applies uh to to on P whereing mhm so uh he would tell us if the wine is on the table and the cas is on the table you bench with it if it's off the table do not bring it m because whatever you'll do is you passing like somebody I tell you when not take it off to the table means you're telling me it wasn't without it if you tell me to bring it you tell me passing with it so therefore it had to be if you PL right then if you plant like this had a or was different that you had to do anyway but I'm saying but was a minion want to bring a Cas like sure Wine's going to be on the table yeah don't interesting and what was with with so when I got by Mitzvah this was the reason why I was able to change that's what I'm trying to tell you um my father when I got MIT told me uh you'll go after the minion the the Min Mo okay first couple of years I love an mtj so we put on film then they didn't have a minion one year the boys minion but they didn't have and they did not so I didn't put on fil Anda didn't put on either no he he wasn't there I don't I don't why he wasn't there but he wasn't there and he never told me that when you get home you put on the film mhm okay so I didn't put on film that and after that two three years we were there and didn't put on then we came back to mtj we got it back at the minion came back and that the minion we with my father and seven people are Weill and the rest of the people are not we fill uhhuh so I put film I saw my brother didn't put on film so I didn't put on film my father didn't put put on film he did or he did not he did he did even though there wasn't Aion of now I don't know I'm not getting involved in that anyway there anyway my brother-in-law one year my brother-in-law is in town M tendler and he's ding with us and he and he calls me up I remember we just finished breakfast and the thing then and he call me up he says you know your father's very upset with you that you know we I said what why do he say that he told me goof you know said because I asked him how come you with your kids said no don't with so he said I don't know and everything else they follow me and this they don't follow me I don't nothing so I called my brother right away he said did the M call you and he says yeah says and then and I didn't have to say more than that the next day we both wor fil and that's so it's been from then on now what was the reason that I did again once we telling us he must in that way no he has since you don't have a because but one has a has he since we were with to we thought he he we we shouldn't be we coulding but he told us and then we found out that he wasn't telling us that so that we were able to put it on again what did he takan when he first you I did that much I didn't ask him I don't I never questioned my father about why he said it the way I guess maybe he thought I would understand I can't no no more than that I can't did he say uh yeah and as far as the mat and the mat I say that I don't know how my brother got off track but but but same but the same reason lays behind it because that's why didn't say anything right so once he's going to tell you take it away that means I'm even though the true right but now you can ask me this I part I don't know for sure that we may not have them in uhhuh what I mean because his Z was a right his father became a gik went toan that Wasing in the in the for the wedding was that he become a Goan and when he went toan became aonic even though he was the D by and everything but he was a gronic so did ever he wash before before kidish all that stuff the thing over there and then the shiv does do some things like the G but does do some things not like the so he also is is so therefore no no one established the so therefore I guess that's another reason why maybe wasn't moit on on the thing there because my brother definitely had different when arguing certain things right and stuff like that and uh it's fine you can do whatever you want I mean and so I'm saying but not a anything because we never had a minute right which other notable man did Raa follow like you said the two did he wash before no no that's say we did not do that I I can't really give you anything I think we just was normal most of them because they uh the grandmother is from the brothers that's that's his mother she used from the from right from from from brother so whatever he call some say their name was the vs I don't there were seven was seven in One MH a lot of discussion in in this and in regards to the Seder in general is it's a night of and um you know I would love to hear especially nowadays what what doesa feel the key is in reaching children not only on the Le there but in general especially with all the challenges that exist and then we discussed before you know nowadays there are children within our system who aren't connecting and um sometime they connect later on what what advice could rash share just in a few minutes they should talk to them simply talk to them we in in byas and family this not by my father this is my father was always open to whatever we wanted to talk about but we never had Hood to talk about anything but T so you understand so it's not a wasn't point but with my kids they can ask me anything in the world now with FR by by the chabus we did not and I had had guests all the time it wasn't no point there was no there it was an open discussion of whatever you want to talk about like anything you want anything you want and what that way you're not pushing it down your son's throat or children's throat it's something they hear what you believe and whatever it is there but you have to have give and take so it was a point of they would present always the if they had any difficulties during the week if there was anything the rebi said or something and we would discuss it and so it's like now I my there are people that actually use the SW for that at the sh shab table to start conversation they start a conversation they take they take it little one piece like it's written in in a way in theim are written even though the thing was said in one time but he brought he broke it down when he did it in two two three p one two three pages pieces and an idea and thing and and that's what do you think about this and then then people look for opinions and stuff like that that's the way you bring your kid out getting to understand what you're talking about me like this otherwise you're always going to be yelling you know you didn't do this you didn't do that and whatever it is and that's not the and and you want to could be successful Le so it doesn't make a difference but if they you talk and he hears he will do it and I T because that this is my part is that this what with with kids right so what what what do people do they learn one p and then they go to and they steal from the kids the all the if they would learn by with the there wouldn't be a thief in because because they would learn that a thief is that the B gives you everything and whatever and then if andem if you think you can steal take something that God doesn't want to give you and the things and once you know that I don't have to steal when and it's ingrained in me so then why should I steal I wouldn't even look for a head to fool a guy would not forget about [Music] stealing everyone feels you know a little cheating or something that seems to be it's not Anda feels you get that more from even though saus is the is the side of but but by the time the kid gets to that he know no but you're right but the has they won't have they first get you'll get these things you'll get but you first get it up when you're in andite if you started with maybe it would be something you start withous the first class is maybe the second one is maybe start so first and the third grade this way if he would have started right away the first grade and explaining the things and in the day I took Tak 12 lessons or something I don't remember how many I think it's 12 I think that you could explain to little kids and you'll see if you would explain these things to them then that would be the the first enem me the whole if you would learn with them and they think that give them the ideas the trust and a kid is curious and you also have also they think they have to take become you have to grow out of being a m that's the thing so they would have they would have been they would have been good kids and that's what we we we killed in the certain extent right and uh and I think the problem with this I do this really the T conventions they always ha my chin about about the good every kid comes home with a a like this and uh I didn't let them by me say he got didn't say I said I said when I tell them you really feel something's important to be said email it and then I don't even know how to email but but they do email it to all the parents in the school that this should be discussed at the shabas table don't have the kid say it you want to say I understand that's why you're teaching the kid but teach it to the parents to be able to give it over to the kid not to the kid to give it over to the parents so what is the the advising add a Sor we have multiple children around the table everyone comes with their from the mo from the re and they all want to say and there's only a certain amount of time and they want to make and so on and so for what would the two pieces it's not there I thought was gave one is en titled to two pieces two pieces one one though that there has to be you say not they can read it and you have to feel that it's important for me to know it if you can't if you don't either one of the two don't do it don't say it uhhuh and that's that's the rule uhhuh that's the the rule in the now the the Le s is known also as a night of of tremendous Yeshua it's been brought down especially in recent years people there's a scho by by people yell out and and and they want to be to whatever you they need in various areas we we discussed but and and you know let's say an area like shim there are many many people out there who who are waiting for the Zim and and many of them wait for the Le to to cry out for the Yeshua what what by us we didn't have that so I can't answer you they they I don't remember that's a recent phenomenon maybe could be that I can answer you but the is give my mother's advice think I usually call it to some of the uh the boys the girls it doesn't make a difference anymore once I told her to the boys he was telling her to the boys that when you go on a date you have to go the date is if you're going to buy a suit will you need a suit what does that mean and the one that made me really think about it was I told it over was P I was talking to you and nothing I'm saying says does anything to him and finally I said I'll tell you what my mother used to say and and I told him he came got engaged about two three weeks later and he comes back you what you told me changed my whole attitude of how I'm going what I do what I do I remember I used to go to Sims you remember Sims okay time 50% off an educated consumer right the educated consum best customer right that was S I came I came to buy the suit I only was a to buy one Su a year so 50% off I'm going to get maybe we'll get a second suit this year and I went to Sims get the suit I never put one I said why I looked at it I said it it be a drop darker that would be good a Dro lighter the stripe with this whatever that time we still wor Stripes still wor white suits and all that so so how come how come and yet time if I would see the same suit I would say what a beautiful suit what is my attitude I said if you don't need something you're looking at the s if you need something you look at the mless it's not a compromise I'm not compromising my values it's just how your attitude of how you look at something and that was the differ thing what you told him and therefore each one should look at the other one with that kind of an eye M it's not going to be perfect it's not going to be what he quote I Al it is but it's not going to be because certain things are un important I used to give this moves to my own to when he started to go out the first time was in the The Observer Road was the thing what was the thing I I asked them once what do you talk about on a date and they would tell me oh this I said okay very nice I I hear that but why don't you talk about the important things of life so what they ask you what's the important things of life I said do you sleep with the wood window open the window closed do you s do when you drive in the car do you sit with the air conditioner on or Ro uh what do when he squeeze the toothpaste you squeeze it for a little too you leave the C and they all started to live okay I say yes why you laughing so he said it's not important I said you thank what you just told me you just told me if you don't bother asking because it's not important if it's not important then how's it ever going be a fight for the future can never be a fight and and helped sh thing I'm saying this is the point that I try to talk to the people when I talk to them figure out how to get dates I to get this okay that's that's see is uh we we don't even look at our own what CH we have to be able to get them look at the neighborhood look at the things look who lived in the neighborhood who who was a nice little boy that 5 years old who doesn't live here anymore where is he you know stuff like that and find out and the things and all of a sudden you find you know there are people in the world we can talk to there are people we can track down and it's not not what you so it goes MH as as we wrap up the conversation and again thank you TOA for the time and uh and this tremendous hag any final words of for people who are watching and listening as we approach the I guess I point out in the thing that that it's really for all time it's not just for we're now going through in way to we have to have and all the that we have and to realize everything is from him whatever it is yes from him why he doing get we should be effect but without ESS with everything this is time and we grow for it next month amen thank you so much [Music]