Resolving the Struggle of Identity

the second half of parshas mini or the end of Parrish mini deals with laws known as to Ma and Tyra which has translated as spiritual impurity or spiritual purity now most of these helices not all but most are not very practical don't have much relevance and application in the Jewish daily life living today but in the times of you are they were not only practical but they were an essential fabric they were an essential component of the daily rituals and behaviors that governed Jewish life just as today making Shabbos cleaning a house for Pesach cooking supper doing the laundry keeping the house clean part of the day-to-day life style of the Jewish people revolved around the halacha of Touma antara of purity and impurity meaning if a person or a vessel or clothes or food or drinks came in contact with a source of tumor source of impurity it would affect them and affect their conduct so for example especially in the days before there were hospitals somebody passes away in a home which was obviously very common people died in their homes so everything in that home anything that's under the same roof under the same tent would become immediately Tommy would become impure any person who was their vessels that were their clothes that with the food there was their drinks that were there now you say okay so it's impure the problem is of the person wants to go into the base HaMikdash which was common it's coming paisa flue asuka's or for another reason they want to go into the waste I'm English they can't be impure or you want to use the vessel for holy foods you want to use the vessel for food of carbonate or for tacorian he or she wants to eat rumor again holy food you can't put it in this vessel the vessel is impure all the food is impure the drinks are impure so now there was a process of cleansing of Tara that was necessary now with food and drinks there's nothing to do you can't put them in a mikveh it is what it is it's impure and anybody can eat them unless you're a Korean but all the vessels the clothes the blankets the beds in the home etc on there's many circumstances became impure and you had to purify them and this could be a very intense process if it came in contact with the corpse a human lifeless corpse then it needed not only mikvah but also needed a sprinkling of a special mix of waters and ashes mixed together from the ashes of the red heifer if it came in contact with another source of impurity say a dead weasel fell into a bowl fell onto a plate right so it becomes impure now this has to be put into a mikvah kosher mikvah and then it becomes purified and then you could put holy food into it you could put room into it it's an it's it's a purified Kayle so today this doesn't have much relevance because we are considered as the famous expression of the rishonim : o timaya mason we have this status of general spiritual impurity and therefore hollow quickly there's no base a McNish K&M an iranian trauma we're not eating car bonus holy food we're not going into the holy sanctuary so the practical relevance of it is not really applicable in today's day till after be a sama Shia when there'll be this level of Terror but in in Jewish scholarship the laws of purity and impurity occupy an enormous enormous amount of space both physically in Samarra manned mission ie and Gomorrah and in concept and when we read it today it would seem that it's not very relevant and yet every Hollow Carosa has a deeper spiritual component and that remains timelessly relevant today I'm going to take one such law which would not seem at all real practical and yet we will uncover its spiritual depth and hence its timeless relevance even if it physically doesn't apply psychologically emotionally and spiritually it applies and that has to do with the impurity of vessels discussed in parish Winnie as well I'm going to use the Rambam Maimonides as a as a source to quote because of his unique system as age his unique contribution of cysts of organizing all of these helices and he has a section in his mission at area known as alphas Calum the laws of vessels and he begins right away the first chapter he says there are seven types of vessels that can receive impurity from Tyra biblically the Turner dictates they could receive impurity and he numerate s-- them begod them sack and clay or clay etson clay map because clay aids clay ferrous clothes sacks sack North's leather all leather vessels or clothes bones vessels made of bone vessels made of metal which is very common for us of course which would include gold and will include silver and would include any metal vessels made of wood like a wooden plate or wouldn't bother wooden spoon and finally clay ferrous earthenware vessels vessels made out of clay and each of these vessels has different laws that the turret dictates today we're going to focus mostly on clay harris earthenware vessels what a clay Harris earthenware pottery they're also called clay you take earth and you mix the earth with water which becomes mud I don't know if any of you have a fashioned earthenware vessels but there are parts of the world where this is very very common and it's a whole skill and art to make this type of powdery especially places in the East and the Far East and it was a very common it was very very common not only in the ancient world but even a hundred and two hundred years ago right here in the United States of America the restorers Potteries you went in and somebody made you a bowl or a plate or a spoon or a fork or a knife or any type of shape utensil made out of mud so the earth is mixed with water they had to put in a little straw usually to be able to consolidate it and then you placed it in the mold it had to be shaped and the way you wanted it that was shaped or placed in the mold and then baked baked in a furnace or sometimes baked in the hot Sun which they still do in some regions and this consolidated and made the vessel firm and strong this is called clay terrace in Tyre earthenware clay pottery it comes from Earth its consolidated water straw and then baked this is called clay fibers naturally it's a cheap product because what you need for it is only soil earth and water and maybe a little straw but it's a cheap product versus clay Adamo which is even cheaper you don't even bake the earth you just take earth and you fashioned into a vessel and that's mommas not even very firm that's not Makabe Ultima that's not susceptible to impurity well it's not very functional doesn't have much prominence purity and impurity are always commensurate with how much status something has and how functional it is unusable by the human being clay Adama clay Glo and clay are one and vessels made out of dung or vessels made out of earth not being baked not clay terrace or stone are not Makabe Ultima at all but what today we're talking about clay terrace earthenware vessels now each type of vessel has a different law when it comes to Toma so for example metal somebody has a metal vessel that is always a septum impurity whether it's flat whether it has a cavity whether it's a knife or a plate a bowl or scissors a counter or a jar made out of metal it's always McCobb altima it's susceptible to impurity so if a dead rodent like one of the SH - shruts ammo ezel or a corpse or a carcass of an impure dead animal or even a kosher animal that wasn't chef that probably falls into it this clay Harris now needs Tara needs cleansing until then it's impure you can't use it as I said for sacred food that's clay mattress metal what about wood wooden vessels here there's a distinction between those that are flat and those that have a cavity those that have a cavity and opening they are susceptible to tumor biblically those that are flat if you have a wooden counter called suit a clay AIDS I mean hot area it's not susceptible to tumor only Rabbinical e then you have clay ferrous earthenware vessels earthenware vessels are only susceptible to tumor if they have a toilet if they have a cavity which means if you have an earthenware knife or a or a scissor or a fork or a counter or a flat plate completely flat like a flat tray that doesn't have an opening doesn't have a toilet doesn't have an inside a cavity it will never be susceptible to impurity the terrorist says the only way a Clay Harris and earthenware vessel could become impure is if it has an inside a cavity which would mean a cup a goblet a bowl a jar a battle something that you could play something inside of it that type of earthenware vessel is susceptible to Toma if it's flat it will always remain pure on a biblical level in a rabbinic level it will never be susceptible to Tommy so if somebody kalila passes and all the people in the home now our impure and if somebody wants to go to the base I make - a man or a woman he or she has to cleanse themselves with the ashes in the water of the red heifer and go to the Metro and all the vessels in the home are impure what if there is an earthenware vessel in the home that is flat a knife if it would be metal it needs to be cleansed I have to sprinkle on it a little bit of the ashes in the water of the red effort and then put it in a mikveh if it's a metal knife if it's a earthenware knife it doesn't need anything if it's an earthenware cup or Bowl or jar or pot it's susceptible to tumor it needs cleansing now of course clay Paris earthenware vessels cannot be cleansed in a mikveh because of their porous so they cannot be cleansed in a mikveh and they have to be shattered and then glued back together once a vessel is broken it becomes impure because it's not functional anymore if it's not functional it can't be impure and then you glue it back together in its pure again clay harris has to be should be Russell's URI Takano son it has to be shattered and then glued together for it to become pure now what is the logic of this a metal vessel whether it's whether it has an inside or it's flat too susceptible to tomorrow clay harris an earthenware vessel will never be macabre to Marlys and has an insight what's the logic of this the Torah doesn't say there's a commentary that was given by the cuts Kariba and it's quoted in the Shamy Shmuel by rapprochement sucker Trevor who heard it from his father darvany nazar who heard it from the COTS Kariba he mentions it a few times then the logic is as follows metal vessels have value in and of themselves they're expensive a metal has a value earthenware vessels earth you can't sell earth it has no value it's cheap extremely cheap because it has no value so the clay Harris on its own is not susceptible to tumor what gives it its value the fact that it can hold things inside of it because it's a vessel that can hold things inside of it so what gives it its value is not it itself but the fact that it carries things that contains things that are placed inside of it therefore if it has a clay cable if it has a cavity something can go into it that confers upon it significance prominence and value and it will become impure but if it doesn't have the capacity to hold anything inside of it it's not a clay cable then in and of itself it doesn't have status and value and therefore it's not susceptible to impurity again a battle vessel its value is its own not because it contains something that's a separate addition that's extra credit that a metal bowl you could put something into it but by clay there is the fact you could put something into it this is what makes it valuable this is what gives it its significance for example clay Adamo vessels that are made out of Earth that are not even baked I never met cobble to them because they're so cheap so clay Harris if they don't have a cavity they don't have a toy they don't have an inside they're not Makabe tumor this is how we explained it but now we come to one more detail here that I'm going to read again from the Rambam Hill cos Kailyn should be peyrac yes okay suck the rumba hookahs Calum chapter 18 clay Harris a macabre tumor actually amicable on earthenware vessel cannot become impure until it is a receptacle the Aucilla Kabbalah and it has to be made to receive our will employer bio-based kibble but if it had no place to receive it was completely flat there was no opening there was no there was no opening a cavity to put something in are you sure you macabre villainous on the Kabbalah or even if it did receive but it wasn't made for that we'll see what that means in a moment ænima cobble Toma Clow this vessel can never become impure loyally the attire of a lemon divot aside from not biblically and not even rabbinical II the rabbi's were often more stringent when I came to impurity because of various fences and precautions they created but here there's absolutely no impurity laughing therefore hockey say if you have a cheer made of earthenware waha stop so a bench vomit ah a bed for her shoulders on a table la manera candelabra shal Harris from earthenware Nicole coyote Ben McCallum Shane lamb toys or any other type of vessel that has no cavity Abed has no opening a chair has no opening a cavity in it a bench doesn't have a table a table as flat a candelabra you don't put something into the candelabra McCaleb Shane LEM toys a nun McAllen tumor we're talking about of course if there's a lamp on top of the candelabra we put an oil and a wick that's McCobb Alton but the candelabra itself has no cavity it does not ever become Tommy what about Salinas shammai in my house Kanban you have a pipe that's made of clay a clay pipe that the water goes travels through it alpha P Shan kufan even though it's curved it's been that'll be Shane Macallan there's a receptacle water can't travel on a flat pipe it has to be rounded and the water has to be able to come into it hi Ryan - hi diminish Elaine a Sulha Kubelik - 8 semana maya since these pipes were not created to receive the water they're just they just made to transfer the water the water supposed to get from location a to location B through the pipe the pipe is not made to hold on to the water to store the water it's not like a cistern or a cave or a cup or a bottle or a barrel or a goblet or a jar that's made to store to put food into it to put liquid into it to put merchandise into it whatever it is these pipes are just made as channels to channel the water from one place to another place it goes through a pipe so here is the great novelty that even though it has an opening and a cavity and the water comes into it it remains pure why because it's not only the condition is not only that it doesn't have a clay cable Lima silica ball it wasn't created to receive even if it doesn't receive even if it has an opening but since that's not its functionality that's not its purpose its purpose is to receive in order to give to transfer therefore we deem it as though would be flat and it's not susceptible to impurity now I could go on your boys learning in yeshiva right we could continue on this if they're learning this subject for another 3 4 5 6 hours and I say this so you should understand but I'm not gonna go on with this I'm going to go to the next level which means what's the meaning of all of this well the meaning of all of this on a practical level is clear is it pure or is it impure and as I mentioned in ancient times it was very important you had to know is it Taher or is it not tire what do I do with this earth and we're vessel I'm a kyon I'm not a claim but if I was a call you and I have to eat rumor and we're sitting for supper and we have nice nutriment that somebody gave us from their silo from their field from their new produce now is the season when the grain grows and the fruits grow and the vegetables grow and we receive true man we're excited and we want to put these new cherries these holy cherries in a little bowl to serve it by dinner and the bowl is made of earthenware but the problem is this earthenware Bowl came in contact with tumor that's fell into the cavity of the bowl we can't eat it we can't put the trim into it because it's going to contact impurity from the Kayle and the only way to deal with it is to shatter the Kayle and glue it back together now as it is so it's very practical it's these were very practical look that's what I'm telling you it was part of the fabric of daily life but today it's not today it remains apparently a scholarly topic of conversation when the halacha was once relevant another interesting ramification of this is that according to parish Minnie the Torah says if a source of impurity touches an earthenware vessel from the outside it doesn't go inside it touches the back of it it doesn't become impure the only way an earthing with vesica become impure is if the source of tummo goes inside of it and that's very strange a metal vessel any part of it with the impurity contacts and it becomes impure inside outside the back wall the exterior the interior clay harris only one way if it goes inside now if it goes inside it doesn't even have to touch it if it just goes into the space of the cavity it's already impure so let's say a dead weasel I'm sorry for that example that I keep on bringing it's just one of the shamone I'm just springboro you want a dead mouse you could do with that mother I didn't think that would be better for women even a living mouth isn't in the house is not that exciting certainly not a guy who once called me he said he has to understand the psychology his wife is a very strong person but she saw a mouse in the kitchen and she called them up and she's about to freak out and lose it and he wanted to understand he told her you're bigger than the mouse what's the big deal you're bigger you're stronger he wanted to understand how that works so it's a fascinating thing this dead rodent that is a source of not all rodents are impure not all animals are impure you have to know what yeah what not a kosher animal that shafted is not tumor but if it's not checked it it is Tommy a non kosher animal that dies is Tom it's called novela if it falls into the earthenware pots even if it doesn't touch any part of it it's just in the cavity of it it becomes Tommy so here's an interesting thing this dead rodent when it touches the outside of the clay terrace it's not Tommy when it's inside of it and it doesn't touch it it's just in this space inside of it it becomes stomach what's the logic of it here is again what the kotsky ever explained beautifully the value of the clay harris is not itself it's the fact that it could contain other things where do you contain other things in the empty space that you have in the walls that you have you can't contain anything else it's inside because that is its value that's where it contacts impurity we're all other vessels they contact impurity by contact with the source of impurity inside or outside so the clay fair is the expression and the Michener's clay harris meta may may Avira the earthenware vessel becomes impure from its a very a very from its the loof from the ear the ear is the ear space if you wish the ear space of the clay carries that's where the tumor happens it doesn't happen when you touch the Kalin I've can't till now we explored this on a practical ha logic level of Jewish law every single law as I mentioned could be studied on many levels shot RAM is restored which means there is no Mitzvah there's no halacha there's no law there's no story there is no episode in Terra which can't be understood physically and also metaphysically practically and spiritually on a concrete level but also on an emotional or psychological level that means whenever somebody comes across any conceivable law or concept in Judaism it must be appreciated not only on the most basic concrete level that of course is important how am I so awakened but one else has to be able to glean and deduce from the physical concept the spiritual concept that is being conveyed and today base your M now from now henceforth we're going to use these how lockers that we just explored on a technical level and see how they really mirror spiritual truths of life so even if the technical ideas don't apply practically because we don't practice most of the locals of to man Tyrel the spiritual concept of to man tyra and the spiritual relationship with different types of vessels is extremely applicable today and relevant today as much as it was then if not more and this is true about every law of to man Tyra but I'm going to choose these lures that we just explored which is why we we explore them when the Turner wants to describe the creation of Adam and hava the first man and woman the way bear Asia's Genesis describes it as very sir hashem elokenu as harem offer min ha Adama the first human being Adam which ultimately as the posit makes it clear Adam was the title for first man and woman male and female Zucker in a cave a burrow awesome vii crush mom Adam Hashem called them together Adam especially according to the most opinions of the Casal that they were created as similar what we would call today Siamese twins it was created affirm in hama earth offer earth that comes mean how the mass oil that comes from the earth which is why we have the famous expression in the prayers of Rosh Hashanah Yom Kippur in the section known as an asana talk if after an asana take off' and we talk about a person Adam you say they may offer the site will offer the person has his site meaning is the foundation comes from offer the so for the end of the person is law offer as the pass success and voracious offer act of Allah for Tasha you come from our free come from Earth and you return to the earth Marshall can Harris a neighbor he continues therefore a muscle the human being is compared to Harris Harris would mean earthenware pottery so essentially when you look at a person you're looking at clay Harris something a Papa a vessel a utensil that is made from offer it's made from Earth of course you can't compare the human being to a regular clay terrace which is lifeless the human being is a living organism but the concept of Harris on a more metaphoric spiritual level on a logic level clay Cyrus means a dead earthenware pot a person has different status but on a spiritual level the clay Harris Offerman Hama is very much associated with the human the human biological vessel the human biological entity the human organism the Kaylee called a person and here we discover something very profound about earthenware vessels where other vessels metal whether they're flat or they have a cavity they're always susceptible to Toma even wooden vessels which as I said biblically are only susceptible to tomb of they have an opening a cavity but rabbinical e-even flat shoe thick legs if you have a wooden counter it's still susceptible to tumor with clay Harris is absolutely no exception only if it has a cavity if it's open to receive can it be macabre to man only if that goes into its airspace not if it touches it on the backsides or at any Sun on the bottom or on the top only if it goes into the actual airspace as explained above what does this mean spiritually in the human life what would this mean of the person is Marshall Kat Harrison is bar autumn you saw they may offer the soil offer what would it mean now let's remember the steps that we delineate it that we outlined in the first part of the discussion so we could then parallel them to the second part of the discussion the spiritual dimensions we went through a few step step basically - step number one was clay Harris could only become Tommy if they have an opening step two is they will only become Tommy when the tumor goes into the air space if it's flat there will not be tumor step 3 and this was the biggest conditioners even if it has a cavity and it has an opening and it can receive something it will only be macabre Toma will only become impure if it was created to receive not if it was created as a channel to transmit and therefore the water pipe or any other pipe that could contain and transfer things liquid through it will not be macabre Toma even though it's a clay Farris and it has an opening because it's not made like a ball it's not made to receive let's go through all these steps in the spiritual life or a psychological life of a person there are basically two philosophies of life two different ways of viewing life one one way is let's call it shoot a clay Harris and let's call it click Harris rationally based kibble one is a flat earthenware vessel like a countertop like a bed like a table like a candelabra like a cheer like a bench and one is like a jar a bowl a cup big pots it contains what is the difference between the two one Cayley is inviting it says come into me here fill me up the flat ones know where to fill up you could walk on it you could perhaps sleep on it but you don't go inside of it it doesn't get filled with anything you may use it I mean you sleep on a bed you sit on a chair you may enjoy the decoration and the beauty of the candelabra and your dining room or living room or the wherever it's wherever its situated you may sit on the bench you may use the counter to put something on top of it or whatever the tray is but it's not filled inside of it what does this represent symbolically there are two different approaches to life one approach to life is where a person is trying to fill themselves fill me up in other words I create I have a void and the void is open and it's made and it's asking and it's designated to be able to fill it up the other type of Kayle is it doesn't have a clay cable it doesn't have anywhere to receive symbolically there are two ways in which a person can interpret life one is the purpose of life is for me to receive and I want to get filled through that reception so the focus here is what do I need what do I want what do I crave what do I yearn for the focus is I want to fill my self there's another way of living and that is I see myself as a conduit to serve in other words I asked not to paraphrase ask not what your country can do for you ask what you can do for your country it's a very different approach the approach is I ask not about me I ask rather how I can serve how I can be of service how I can be of purpose to be able to fulfill something that transcends me what would be the difference in halacha the first Clay Harris is susceptible to impurity the second is not susceptible to impurity the first one is susceptible to impurity you would think it should be the other way maybe the first one is very much focused on itself why should it be susceptible to impurity the other one remains pure but the answer is that these two components depend on each other the first one when the focus is me so then there can be a lot of blunder a lot of confusion I can stumble easily I can get lost however when I can turn myself into a vessel without a clay cable here the tailor says you're completely pure you remain pure what does this really mean however how do we distinguish between the two let's use familiar language but then see if we're understanding this language correctly familiar language would be as follows a person who has an ego a person who has a sense of self a person who's busy filling themselves so they always have these days that I like myself those days I don't like myself these days I'm happy these days I'm unhappy these days I wake up on my right side those days I wake up on my left side this days I'm depressed as days I'm a little depressed this days I'm exhilarated those days that I'm stressed lazy thrilled on or frustrated exhilarated in the abyss and in the heaven anybody these days I'm in the mood of people I'm not in the mood these days I love the world I hate the world love my marriage hate my marriage love my family hate my family on top of the world on bottom of the world because the are as you know is very complicated the eye is multifaceted its multi-dimensional you can't really put a finger on the eye and turn it into a predictable type of machine it's difficult it's complex we are a Kaylee filled with past and present and future our clay Harris is not just a simple jar we put in a few oranges all your experiences all your thoughts or your emotions all your feelings all your relationships anything anybody ever said to you anybody ever did to you from childhood we carry it all inside of our Kaylee you know I know I don't know if you ever look at yourself in and just realize how much is contained in this little cute vessel or not so cute vessel but in this little vessel you know this cup this coffee okay coffee beans also also not so partial what coffee beans are there also have a big rich history but that's true everything there's nothing in the world that is not made of billions and trillions really sick till ian's of atoms and each atom is made up of so much so really nothing nothing that's contained in a Kaylee from a cherry to an apple to an orange to to even the few molecules of water container universe inside of them but when you look at your own Kaylee what's inside of it besides all over the biological miracles namely the 40 or so trillion cells each cell in itself is a masterpiece that defies human imagination that's one cell of the 40 trillion cells or one neuron of the hundred million neurons in the brain besides all that which is essential to the very dynamics of the functioning an organism there's also everything we contain inside of it everything we put into it or that was put into it throughout our life so it's a very very loaded Clay Harris and it allows for impurity it allows for contamination let's call impurity in this case use it as a metaphor for depression for detachment the Poe success for Adam had vacant Basham allocation hi I'm Cole chameleon impurity is usually caused by death death represents not only physical death it represents detachment the Adam had vacant Basham alligator when you're attached when you're connected hi I'm Cole Samia there's life when a person is detached from whom from themselves what is depression what is sadness what does despondency what is the spirit what is hopelessness it's a sense of complete detachment I'm lonely I'm in solitary confinement emotionally I may be sitting among 200 people but I'm a lonely person you know you can have two people at the say in the same exact room at the same table but they're in different worlds completely you probably saw that you say they're two people one person is in heaven and one person is in purgatory I wanted to use another word boy use the you earth purgatory yeah to people and you don't know nobody knows what the other person is experiencing why could it's not about the objective world it's about how I experience my world it's about how I experience the moment two people could be sitting and they love each other they care for each other and they don't need anything else and then you could have another two people sitting exactly the same circumstances but there's so much negativity there's so much history there's so much trauma or mistrust that they're just waiting for the moment that this can end so when a person is in a state of tumor there was that sense of detachment attachment for me detachment from others detachment from the world and the attachment of course from the core of it all which is the divine Atem advocate Bosch Emily Canham asha which is the source of all other attachments because what glues the world together is the divine which is at the core of every existence Hashem AHA does only mean there's one God it means God is the only one it's the oneness of all when I'm in a state of oneness I'm in a state of the Divine when I'm gonna state the fragmentation from me even for me I feel like splintered completely splintered and fragmented emotionally there's a sense of separation there's no cohesiveness now because the self is so complicated it's susceptible to Toma so here we have the halacha formula if the clay Harris is flat in other words there's no I it can't become Tommy it remains pure if the clay Farris has an eye an ego ego stands for easing God out so what happens then is there's an eye what's the eye physically that I physically is there's an opening come in to me there's a very strong sense of I of my ego I'm a clay kibble I want to receive I don't only want to give I want to receive primarily I want to receive my focus is I want to fill my needs my desires my earnings here the laka says that's fine but remember it's very susceptible to Toma so you have two models you have the truth a clay Harris you have the person who transcends the I I see myself I ask not what God can do for me I ask what I can do for God or I stop telling God how great my problems are and I start telling my problems how great truth is or I ask not what everybody can do for me my spouse my children my community my rabbi my life my world everyone my country of course but what I can do or the famous expression the ballot anyone's told one of us Hassidim many years before John Kennedy Lahav still so the Sox outs was doo-dah first the Sox gardeners Travis Madhavi dear you talk about only what you need you don't talk about what you are needed for that's the difference between the clay Kimble I want to receive or no it's not about I I'm like the counter I'm the cheer I'm the shoe son I'm the menorah there there's no Toma whatsoever you can't become Tommy you can't go into a state of real impurity because you can't be detached because your eye has never become detached autonomous step one but where does this leave us if I finish the class right now what do most of you go ahem with how do we view the I very often we are taught or we internalize that the sense of I is the source of all evil they used to have in some camps the canteen had a sign money is the root of all evil leave your evil here that's how the canteen would raise the money in many ways you could say and and this is this is a quote different if this were this was that the ego the eye is the source of all negativity it's the source of arrogance and of holiness and of pompous nests and of detachment and therefore of tumor of impurity is the source of laziness and sluggishness and anger so what do we go away with we go away with the sense that my goal in life has to be to obliterate my eye what does that mean for a person does that mean I should actually become a doormat because a doormat has no receptacle a dorm is wonderful you know why he can't go into it you just go on top of it so the best thing in life is to be a band a cheer or even better what do you have to rise just be on the ground you don't even have to rise and you're not my cobble Touma a schemata of clay ferrets which is not a shamash Martha's not made of clay Harris I'm gonna be such a good smart if it's made of earthenware sure Martha can be a couple Touma but if the person is a clay Harris a flat not a Kaylee's not a vessel that contains but like Abbott akka or a tray or a counter a counter or a table just dance on me jump on me sit on me lay on me that's the meter you lay down on the bed that's what the bed you don't the bed doesn't have a cavity so what would this mean in a person's life with me in a person's life that I completely transcend any needs there's no I I have nothing to be Mikami I don't have to put anything inside of me you don't have to deposit anything inside of me so there are I'm sure a few people who reach this state and there are others who try to reach this state but feel guilty that they don't there are others who think they reach this state but they don't and therefore they become extremely conflicted and there are others who vacillate between this state and other states and thus they suffer from profound neuroses but generally speaking there is often a confusion that comes into people's minds and this is a very sensitive and profound issue were going to address now and that is how do you view the self how much are you entitled to in life I ask you what were you taught and what do you really feel how much are you entitled to in life anybody but be honest you okay what about people in back to you what were you that's an easy answer to say your sister agrees that's what you were taught what are you entitled to in life really what do you feel instinctively not to say not something nice here instinctively what do we feel how much is the I entitled very often you are told consciously or unconsciously explicitly or implicitly in either's as an expression very bestow back law who are you when did this you of yours become so bloated you just finished eight days of not any comments what's the comments what they tell you what comment says remember what scum it's a bloated eye on inflate itself in other words a kami that has a deep opening and says here I need I want I crave if the Baal Shem Tov if I what do they say the difference of soil and soul we're talking about soil clay terrace what terms of soil and soul I versus you this is already the second good one today I just want you to remember yeah I become soil and you becomes soul same words Sol the is soil do you is so what's the difference between ill and will if oh it's ill if it's we it's well ill well right no we ill is I ll and we is wel L living ill and well BOTS a vs. comets and that's why in life we have so much guilt because if a lot of the guilt comes from this tremendous inherent confusion what do I deserve what I deserve am I entitled to relax now who tells you how to relax imagine you you your couch you come home your couch says no no no no that today excuse me today I'm not gonna be used you'll find somewhere else to sit on and read and take your coffee I owe some title to vacation yeah you don't sit on the couch you made for me to sit on you plop down on you that's what you make for and somehow the couch never complains that she never complains the rug never complain your rug ever told you excuse me madam I know you think you're Miss America and you're prima donna today you go on other rugs top minute over no won't even look how come I saw her this is what you made for very often people feel like this in life sometimes it's to the extreme even if it's not to the extreme I'm gonna talk about the extreme for a moment we call it the battered person the battered person who feels that this is their destiny this is their destiny to be banner to be crushed to be smashed it's almost doesn't feel good but it almost feels right and familiar it's so familiar territory which is in itself a sign of terrible detachment but even in a more benign situation very often especially certain people have a very profound sense of guilt for even experiencing an emotion who gives you a right to experience such an emotion your emotions have be completely in sync with what God wants and what if they're not what do you do to these emotions you repress them you crush them you deny them because how could you make peace with them without looking in the mirror and saying I'm a really bad person anybody knows what I'm talking about or worse mundane circuit meshuggener though okay you know what I'm talking about good I just want to make sure I'm the only I'm not the only one with an ego here in the room but I am okay that's fine that's why the next halakha become so important what's the next tile okay you remember step three you have a clay terrace that has a receptacle it's amicable but ain't ioser the kabbalah it's not made to receive like that water pipe our good old water pipe you remember our water pipe that was made of earthenware I hope your water pipe by the way was not made of earthenware some are and they maybe some of them are bent they don't get rusty but they can have other issues but they would have water pipes see low noise that were made of clay Harris they have all the rules of the ego they have an opening a pipe can be flat try to have a plaque pipe open up the pipe it's not going to happen that's for the pipe by definition has to be the tube which also can be closed and you put in the water and it flows through it just doesn't go on top of it it flows through it it contains it it has a holder it's a clay cable and yet our sages say the Torah dictates it never becomes impure why not so there are bombs words is shana Ocilla Kabbalah it receives it has a lot inside of it but it's not made to receive what does it made for it's made to transmit not to receive and therefore it's not my Kabul tomorrow and here we have the metaphor of the halacha the way it mirrors a person's life and that is the ultimate realization of the life of a human being and the life of a Jew is not that my eye is considered worthless meaningless and valueless and if I want to fulfill the greatest mission in life and merit everything there is to merit in this world the best is if I could just become an eternal and lifeless doormat and the faster the better no on the contrary this pipe can receive and absorb everything inside of it meaning the human being the autumn of them in our Dhamma Marshall Cazares you said enough of us I will offer has an opening which can absorb and contain all however the Mishna says an e never AC LeSean McCoy nee the mission at the end of fragment condition I was created to serve Hashem this pipe of earthenware it's receives but what was it made for it was made for not to receive only for itself it was made for to become a transmitter of the water of the energy now take a look into your life the deepest definition of human life from the Jewish perspective is literally to see yourself as a pipe as a tube as a channel for all divine energy for all truth I contain a lot you contain a lot from the moment you're born you begin absorbing you begin absorbing messages you begin absorbing love you begin absorbing all other types of emotions and experiences words and thoughts conscious and unconscious things you know you're absorbing things you don't know you're absorbing and we continue to absorb but what is at the essence of this identity called human identity it's not just a separated eye a vessel that stands in isolation with a big fat opening that wants to receive at the essence of this Kayle that we call the human being is a conduit for the divine meaning the very truth of the human being is that you are a channel of godly lights you are a channel of infinity that constantly flows through you my choice is not whether I'm a channel or not it's whether I see myself that way or not which is the reason why when you wake up in the morning the first thing we say is mom is the first thing after Madani when you could already mention our shampoos name after you wash your hands the first thing we say in the siddur before Dominic is a lake high in the shamash and esata be to hurry but my god the soul that you have imbued within me is pure taherera however doesn't only mean pure in himesh can wish bottom ketse Hashem I am Latoya Tahiry means light Tahir ooh and Aramaic is light in Hebrew dosa means light Latoya light neshama Shan Assad to be the soul that you have Bermudan me to hurry sensually is full of fill of light which light your light it is light light is a reflection of the source of light like when the ray of the Sun comes into your home what comes into the tent or comes into the room or lights up our planet illuminates our planet it's a reflection of the Sun it's a reflection of the source of light so every person essentially what are you you're a fragment of God you're an extension of the divine you're a channel for divine energy my head my heart my experiences my emotions my whole life all my experiences my circum Frances what am I I am a conduit for divinity coming through me at every moment vibrating through me in other words I am an ambassador of infinity an ambassador of love an ambassador of light an ambassador of Hope but I have a lot of complexities I have complications I have this I have that I have that I of that everything becomes so complicated because I don't see all parts of me as a channel when I learn that all parts of the eye essentially were created to become channels then what now happens is an extraordinary approach develops in the human being where I don't have to ignore or mutilate or cut out any part of my experience and on the other hand I realized that every single thing that's in me is really empowering because it allows me in my own unique way to become the channel that I am supposed to become so the first thing when we wake up in the morning we meditate for a few moments and this is a powerful meditation that I would suggest for you perhaps to take home and internalize in your own way the first thing before you get involved and all of the multitasking of a powerful Jewish woman in today's world before that to be able to completely make peace with the truest interpretation of identity what is identity there's so much about that every psychologist in the world that me philosophy of religion every therapist every theology has a different way of what is identity who is this human being there's an expression we say oh so in the morning oh my sir heard them in a Bahama iein Chia coil hovel of either neshama tire what this surplus what is the advantage of man over animal are you nothing care Carlo but everything is vanity libido neshama besides in a shaman comes with mayor of creamish London says no wrong interpretation oh my sir on demand our behavior you know what the advantage of a person over an animal is I did a person could say no a person could say no I could look at myself and reject a certain interpretation of my identity I could say these instincts that came into me this craving that came into me this sadness that came into me oh wow I'm such a bad horrible hopeless person or no this gives me a certain awareness of who I am and what I struggle with but this too is part of me being a conduit for divine energy right now at this moment so when I wake up before I get involved in the world I sail a kind of summer in the south to be Tahiry what do I focus on what do you focus on you focus on the fact who you are you were created and you continue to remain at every moment of your life a pipe a pipe of what a pipe of infinite love infinite hope infinite light a channel a conduit for the ain't safe for the ultimate truth that flows and could flow through you every moment when you meet people and when you meet yourself when you encounter people and when you encounter yourself in everything that happens in the world today I am essentially a channel of the divinity that's who I really am my choices my peer is not if I am or not I am the choices if I see myself that way if I see myself that way I am empowered to live that way if I don't see myself that way I'm constantly interrupting the channel I'm constantly creating blockages and saying no get out get out because I'm not embracing the flow that's constantly happening so 24 hours a day God is flow through you and even when you're encountering like you get into this really bad mood like maybe this morning I don't know or you get into this you have this emotion or you're having this difficulty with a child or difficulty with your spouse or difficulty with your job or difficulty with yourself or difficulty with your mother nobody right okay let's let's scratch that difficulty with I don't know somebody living in New Zealand or or maybe in Muncie I don't know any type of difficulty I can allow myself to get stuck there and cut the chords of the violin right then or I could say no no this is part of the flow there's a flow right now coming through now this flow is a very intense one it's an extremely intense flow it's not just a simple flow where it's a feeling of exhilaration but if I realize that this too is God speaking through me and to me what I can do is embrace the awareness that I discover through this emotion through this experience there's an awareness it's calling on me to overcome something to look deeper into something to identify a particular trait to break the bread to identify a particular pattern it's all part of the human growth and relationship with infinity with God and thus you never become coming ah you're a big Haley and everything comes into you and you're full and rich of experiences and emotions and thoughts and identity and you would think as we said before that's the pinnacle of the problem become flat and you're not my Kabul Toma that's true if you're flat D not my Kabul Toma but the halacha gives us a much more nuanced appreciation of how human life works how human life is capable of working when somebody becomes a channel for the divine doesn't mean they don't have anything inside on the contrary they become open for every type of blessing and every type of flow in abundance as we say in benching me Elohim Leah hops cognitive or hover we asked to be receive a flow from his hand that is open that is full not empty full suka open kadesha holy and recover broad and the Baal Shem Tov sinner and the Haggadah part for benching pacer it said hakudoushi not with a cuff but with a gimel how do you do sha male the goddess sometimes your hands could be full goddess means it overflows Haga Ducie it overflows and when you become a channel for that you also overflow what's the most powerful way of giving to people what's the most powerful way one is I have a pitcher of water and I keep on pouring I pour I pour I fall right before I play you know what happens I get exhausted you poor and your poor and your point you get exhausted and also the water empties so you don't have and the other one doesn't have there's a much deeper way and that is fill up your barrel and don't stop filling it and it overflows and overflows and overflows and then it spreads all over the place when a person realizes that every moment they can open themselves up to fill up their barrel but not just a small barrel it's an infinite barrel and then it can flow all over the place and without limitations so this person is always an ambassador always an ambassador of whom an ambassador of the river inertia l'olam who's infinite and invincible and therefore I'm never powerless this doesn't mean I don't have a difficult moment please don't confuse it with that it means I'm an ambassador in my difficult moments you think being an ambassador is easy it's much easier to be an ambassador of American Canada than it is in Afghanistan it's easier to be an ambassador of Israel and in Canada than to be an ambassador of Israel the United Nations you can ask what's her name Haley what it is to deal with the United Nations next week they have Syria sharing a conference for dissing Armin you understand that's the comedy of the United Nations Syria is cheering the conference and had a disarm how to create more peaceful peace and civilization I'm an ambassador sometimes I'm sent to Canada sometimes I'm sent into summer and sometimes I'm sent into winter but I'm sent as we spoke many times about yourself I'm not sold I'm sent if I'm sent I am given all the power and all the energy to identify the infection and shine light on it and when I shine light on it that also becomes a channel so all of timber is when we disrupt it we make a clay cable and it's not a channel anymore I create a wool in the middle of the pipe I build walls around the flow and why do I do it because I want to protect my water I don't want it to go out we build walls for survival we don't build walls for bad reasons most of us build walls because we want to hold on to our water we're afraid if the walls are down the water's gonna get lost but it doesn't work that way it's the other way around when I'm open when I'm vulnerable I'm a channel to infinity the flow never stops when I make a wall I'm left with a little water and I have to hold on to it like this like this I hold on to it that's why people sit like this because they have to hold on to what they have especially by lectures you could sit you could sit like that guys don't ahead I'm not on my you but you'll realize I know this for many years when I get up to lecture very often especially with men they sit as I hear and how do I know I'm successful when they slowly when they slip when they fall asleep or when they slowly they slowly they slowly let this is this is usually not always I'm not talking if you're cold or you don't have space or whatever it is you're trying to conserve something I'm talking with the instinctive gesture and then when they slowly could let loose right and then even like lean back a little bit or lean front and like not stop analyzing what they're hearing but it's also there is some level of a flow a flow that's happening in any form of communication by the way any great artist will tell you what is a moment of success when they don't feel themselves communicated they just experience a flow they call it the flow the flow through them a great pianist the really celebrated pianist once shared with me something I asked him what does success mean for you how do you know you're a middle of a concerto how do you know it's successful from people's applause you can't always know because a lot of them are sloughing they're sleeping what's called for you success and he told me the moment I cease to experience myself sitting at a piano and playing music because my finger has become a conduit for the music itself and there's no I separate from the music that success you would think it's the other way around the more successful the more you experience it out wow I'm so good now I am so good is a form of Touma it's a form of detachment it's not a form of confidence as a form of lack of it think about it in terms of health when is your body in the optimal state of health when you feel it or when you don't feel it when you don't feel it if I start feeling you would think it's the other way around if you're strong if you're healthy you should feel it you should feel your fingers you should feel your head the moment you start feeling your head I mean you have a headache the moment you start feeling your finger it means you have an infection class of asalaam or a scratch when your child comes to you pointing to the pinky there's a boo-boo even if I'm feeling fine but I'm just heavy and lethargic I feel my body you know after a good run or a good workout or you generally in a good state of health your body is light there's no feeling of it why because true health means that the body is a channel for the soul the body is a pipe back to the channel it's a tube it's a seam lawyer it's a seal own the Ramblas words a/c liner and he says see Lorna and the Israelis here seal or not know stuck a night to sell their care you're in America too long okay Siwon how do you say a pipe in Israel anybody knows huh see know what's another word see lon okay good so I was translating it correctly the the great body the greatest body is the body that's a conduit for the soul it's a channel for the soul when the body is not in full health in other words a little of the energy of the neshamah is disrupted you start feeling it you start feeling it the sense of the feeling is a revolt it's a symptom of disconnection that's why in the healthiest state you completely don't feel that it's true physically biologically Tosic true psychologically emotionally spiritually so when I have to survive I build all these walls to contain I'm not confident in the endless flow that comes into me and therefore could come out of me I'm almost afraid you know people who are afraid to give love or to be too warm it's almost like they have to be stingy with their warmth because if they give too much of it they think they can expire that's why the first meal that the first host gives to his guests in the history of Torah the first act of hospitality is who of Rama vena what's the first thing he serves milk come on why milk via hem of a hollow so it's born in smarting because milk has this unique physical property I don't have to explain it to this crowd but if a mother says to herself you know if I feed my baby too much I'm gonna be losing all my milk we have to really really calculate a little bit today a little bit tomorrow it's the other way around the more she gives the more the milk is replenished on the contrary when she stops giving it goes away it seizes it should be the other way around with money it's not that way the more you give the less you have the less you give the more you have so with money it's also not that's the idea of stocker but with money it's not so simple physically it looks like it could seem otherwise but with milk in the physical world you see it she stops giving and her own flow stops she wants to protect her milk and then there's nothing left the more you give on the contrary the body creates more it replenishes more so i've rama v news first meal that he gave the guest when he was trying to change the paradigm of the world was he was teaching them and teaching humanity the more you give the more you receive Reb Masha Monty fury was a very famous English philanthropist and Jewish activist it also helped that he was a brother-in-law of Rothschild that usually helps and he was a great man and they tell a story about him a very insightful idea that somebody wants in shul asked him he said of my show you know Jews are especially with men how much are you worth this year so that moisture gave some number of four hundred thousand marks English Pounds four hundred thousand pounds or so I don't know the number but let's say for the man said you're rich and you're lying I know that you made this year at least ten times that amount well you tell me you're worth only four hundred thousand pounds he said I'm not lying to you he said that's what you made that's all you own he said you didn't ask me how much I own he didn't ask me how much I made you asked me how much I'm worth this year I gave you the number of pounds that I gave away to Stucker this year a person is worth that which he is ready to share with others if you would have asked me how much I made I made more but my worth what am i worth I'm worth that for him sad so I've Roma Vino gave the call off to the guests in every person's life it's that way in every single moment I have the ability to be a conduit for infinity why am i creating blockages and stopping it because I'm insecure with my true value because I have to protect my true value because I'm afraid that the flow stopped because at some point I tell myself God is not flowing anything into me he gave up on this pipe this pipe is so rusty and old God said we're making new pipes that's why every morning you have to say again alaka'i neshama SH and a satyr be the hurry it's still the same light that's the same reflection and infinity doesn't end after 70 years it doesn't become rustier than before 70 years infinity doesn't get rusty because it's rooted in the source of all truth so when a person realizes that every single morning it doesn't mean everything in the day is gonna be perfect smooth although it will probably create much more smooth moments in the day there may be traffic on for say there may be headaches there may be other things but it means that the person views themselves in every situation and every moment never as paralysed never as crippled never as disabled emotionally never as filled with blockages but rather as a complete conduit for infinity so therefore the clay harris the earthenware vessel could be miserable everything you can absorb everything but as long as it knows and it identifies itself as a sea line as a channel as a tube as a pipe as a conduit a Naima cobble - Malloy Minar turn of a lemon - very safe room it's not susceptible to any type of impurity and since every single drew what's created as a channel and mean of resolution which is coiny it means that he or she essentially never can become impure so you'll say what do you mean there's the concept of impurity impurity only exists as much as you identify yourself as the absence of a channel the moment you can revisit and see yourself as that real pipe for for for the flow of light coming through you then the person realizes that essentially they would never tell me they would never impure because they were always one with the ultimate one have a wonderful week Thursday night 8:30 we have a shear on a muna here in the tent and next Tuesday were on busy rush em have a great week you're welcome and Mazel Tov