Seeing The Miracles Through My Suffering TeShuva Journey Ahavat Israel Arizona

[Music] thank you for having me here in aat is in Arizona for beautiful shabbaton that we have uh we've had we've enjoyed each other hopefully you've enjoyed my to my Torah because you haven't thrown any Tomatoes at me that's good news also thank you to Torah anytime which helps us publicize our T anyone that wants to see my sh they can either go to Torah anytime.com or.org which is our website we have a few hundred hours worth of Torah lessons for anyone that wants to listen there's more than enough lessons to help anyone do cha there's also some CDs we've sent here of CD number one of uh it's called from Wall Street to the Weston wall and be we're coming out with CD number two uh beatm over the next months uh over the next month or so we're looking uh still to raise enough money for it and come out with it first CD was a very big success we started with 25,000 and uh they were printed not fast enough more more than enough people wanted them and a lot of people are still sending us emails of How It's helped their life and helped them get some meaning uh since we've had several shim today we covered a lot of issues we talked about children we talked abouta we talked about suffering but I see a lot of new faces so in short before I get into my own story I want to cover three major points that will make the story much more meaningful the story is nice it's interesting it's more interesting to other people than it is to me cuz I lived it but nonetheless it's meaningless if you don't believe in the Torah so there's a few points that will help anybody even the biggest kofer in the world believe that the Torah is real the first point is a rational point every single one of us knows that if we were to invent something whether it' be a phone or a television or anything if you want to make it marketable you have to make sure that people know what to do with it because if they don't know then it's useless so for example if I invented the first phone and no one's ever seen a phone before and I gave it to you you may think it's a rock to throw at someone you may think it's a cup holder you may think it's a door stopper you wouldn't know what it is but if it provided you instructions then you would no then you would pay $800 if it's called an iPhone so we know that if the creation is smart enough to know that if it creates something it needs instructions then obviously the creation's creator has to be smarter than the creation the guy that invented the phone is smarter than the phone even though sometimes we think otherwise but what's to say that there is a Creator just like you know that the phone had to come from somewhere the desks and tables and chairs had to come from somewhere the sky had to come from somewhere and even if someone wants to go with the long shot of insane coincidences and say that they believe in evolution and everything came from a cell that went through the process of mitosis and then meiosis and somehow it created planets and eventually the planets had water or at least one of them did called Earth and it was positioned in the only place that it could exist in the entire galaxy for it to support life and somehow the only place that could support life actually created life and started with a fish and a fish became a lizard started walking on land and eventually the land the the lizard became a monkey and the monkey is here speaking to you today great if you want to believe that you still can't answer the question of where did the first cell come from let's say it all those coincidences happened let's say it all did it's a long shot but let's say it did you know it's easy for scientists to explain long shots they just say it happened over a long period of time so long that no one was there so there's no Witnesses coincidentally all of idol worship is the same thing there's no Witnesses the only religion in the world that has Witnesses is Judaism but if we put that aside for a second we still can't answer the question of where did the first cell come from unless there has to be a Divine being unless there has to be a creator of the first cell now obviously once you know that there's a Divine being there's a creator that created the on self cell then it's very easy to say that obviously the creator of the one cell is smarter than the cell so if it's already smarter than the one cell why are you limiting it to creating only one cell why can't it create Adam and Eve or and I have no idea where they got Eve from K by the way and then you go to Noah and then he destroys it and then we get to Moses and eventually we get here so we know that obviously having a Creator is a must even the biggest scientist in the world can't answer that question and to say I don't know in science even though it's normal in Judaism it's unacceptable unless the Torah specifically told us that we don't know which is very very few questions but then there's a proof a proof that it's not only God but it's the Jewish one and we talked about it earlier today and we'll cover it very briefly and then cover two other points and get to the story everyone looks for hasem especially when they're struggling especially when they're having a tough time in life whether it's through sickness or P issues all types of issues usually people remember God when they're having a tough time and sometimes people ask the off question to justify their behavior by saying where was God during this and this tough time a very famous question is where was God during the Holocaust for anyone who wants to know the answer there's two versions there are six hours of it that I made a shim in New York approximately a month ago in tab 6 hours worth of answers of where was God during the Holocaust or the simple version is he did it whichever one you want to have he did it if that's enough for you if you want an explanation why you have six hours worth of to watch [Music] enjoy it's good though has nothing to do with me it's Torah but people ask all the time where is god well I can give you a simple answer scientifically just look in the mirror and you'll find it in 1983 a scientist by the name of Dr to Rubenstein moved from Argentina to Israel to do molecular biology research look into DNA for anyone that heard the story earlier today don't kill the story by telling everyone the solution and he looked at all different types of species he looked at bats at rats and dogs cats sharks all types of fish obviously humans monkeys and he discovered something very very interesting the basic makeup of DNA for all human beings as well as animals as well as fish is the same it's two squiggly lines that you've probably seen on the internet somewhere digitally to give you a visual of this thing called DNA so after doing some research for several years he asks the computer program some tough questions first question is what happens if I break this DNA I take the two squiggly lines and I separate them like the divorce rate in America being 80% we'll divorce the two lines the computer says no they cannot survive the subject will explode whatever subject it is whether it's the Rat Bat or human being cannot survive if the two squiggly lines are not together so the next obvious question is what's keeping them together so the computer program analyzes the data it says every several acids or every so often there are bonds that connect the two squiggly lines and these bonds are made out of sulfur okay so these bonds these bridges are very interesting interesting so if you look at the squiggly lines on the internet you'll see that the squiggly lines also have lines connecting the two sides so now we know okay this some validity to this this is very interesting but then the obvious question is how often is every so often is it random or is there a pattern is there an intelligent design the computer program responds according to Dr Rubenstein which you can find on the internet he just speaks Hebrew and this was published at nature magazine approximately 30 years ago he says that yes there is a pattern it's every tenth acid and after that it's every fifth acid and after that it's every Sixth and then after that it's every five 10565 10565 to Infinity a repeated pattern in all species whether it's a dog or a monkey or a human being they all have the same basic Foundation of a DNA that has this interesting pattern that skips every tenth acid every fifth acid every sixth acid and then five and then it goes back to 10 again if you haven't caught on yet in Hebrew each letter has a numerical value it's called gatria 10 equals equal UD five equals he six equals VAV and five again equals hey spells UD VAV and hey God's name in Hebrew not English so now we know that this God is from Israel not from any other book so now that we know that you only need to look as far as the mirror to find AEM because you wanted to make sure that if you look for him you'll find him just like if Picasso Van go painted a picture and they want you to buy it for $50 million they have to sign their name hasem wanted to make sure that if you look for him in this weak generation that we find ourselves in you also have an easy way to find him through nature and nature in Hebrew is calleda the nature and has also the numerical value for the word God as well so now that we know that obviously there has to be a Creator the Creator actually wrote a signature inside each one of you as well as the food you're eating enjoy but aside from that he gave you a book he gave you an instruction set and he gave you two sets of books one was originally written it's called the written Torah and the other one is called the oral Torah which was originally transmitted orally written Tora is the five books of Moses and then later on we have additions that which is the tanak 24 books but the foundation of the written Tor is the five books of Moses now how do we know that the five books of Moses are from God you don't have to look too far you see that inside these five books of Moses you'll find Prophecy of the future you'll find hidden messages that will tell you what will happen before it actually happen whether it's the disaster of the Holocaust that you can find through as well as there's interesting codes inside they going to find you tell you the preview of what will happen when the nation of Israel sins against theem or you could actually find Torah codes that specifically names the characters in the story where it be Hitler or M AKA malit is what they call him in Hebrew Angel of Death concentration camps gas Chambers and so on this information didn't exist 3,300 years ago cuz Hitler wasn't in the Torah but Hashem obviously being Divine and knowing the future the past and the present all being the same to him he wanted to make sure again if you look for him you'll find them there's also many other scientific evidence in the Torah whether it be the things that we talked about earlier today which we're not going to go over again because it'll take at least two hours which is the uh scientific evidence of fish the Kosher fish being the only ones that have two signs the fins and the scales it's in this week's or it's the other animals that have two signs the ones that chew their cud and have uh split hooves and if you want to know more scientific information you could either watch Torah and SS by Rabbi ysf mizaki or my own version of Toran science with just a few other additions that he didn't have in there that could add to the library of information that he already put in there you have plenty of information to prove that the Torah is real but now how do we know that the oral Tora is real we also talked about that earlier we said that a lot of the detail of the written Tora are in the oral Tor but there's two very very simple proofs one is rational and one is one is prophecy the rational one which most Idol worshippers do not consider and most Heretics definitely don't consider is the fact that the written Tor if you say that you believe in the written Torah you cannot say that you don't believe in the oral t one cannot go without the other reason why is because if it wasn't for the oral Tor we wouldn't know how to read the written T because the oral Tor has several parts it's not just thear it's not just the mishna it's not just the and it's not just the zor there's also another part that's less known less popular but we depend on even more than the other five and it's called the Codex K and this codex is our vowel system if you notice today we took out the seph T and anyone that knows how to read the seph T knows that there's a difference between a seph t and the one that's a book in front of you difference is there's no nik there's no dots and points and exclamation systems there's no validation except for you're not allowed to put those little dots not allowed to put a period mark a question mark anything Mark you only have letters but in the book that you read your five books of Moses your K or your tanak it's full of dots and letters what does this mean in the English language there's a vowel system but it's not made out of dots it's made out of letters there's five letters a e i o u that's the vowel system and sometimes why now vowel system means that it's the foundation of every single word has to have at least one of those letters no word in the English language can exist without at least one of those letters either a e i or u and sometimes y so if let's say we wanted to read the word Moses it's a pretty important character in the Torah right he's the one that got the Torah spoke to hasem face to face I'd say he's a big deal but we took out the vowels so now all we have left is M you took out the O so you don't have o anymore you have an S you took out the E so there's no e anymore you have another s so now Moses becomes Miss wrong person wrong gender too vow systems are pretty important the Nik in Hebrew is The Vow system the only reason we know how to read the seph Tora is because we practice from the one that actually has The Vow system without it we wouldn't know one sentence in the entire Tor so whether it's someone that says I believe in just the written Tor and not the oral Torah they call themselves carites there's not many of them today but there's still some or they call themselves Christian and they say or Catholics and they say no no we believe in the five books of Moses and the tanak and the prophets but we don't believe in the oral Torah well you can't you have to believe in your old T and once they discover this groundbreaking fact they have a dilemma okay fine we believe in this codex all right but you said now you say you believe in your old now you can't pick which part you believe in you can't say you believe in the Codex but you don't believe in the gar that's a salad so now we see that obviously rash it's very easy to believe in the all but then we have one prophecy that I'll talk about out of many that there are in the oral Tor at the end of m page 49 it gives us a prophecy of what will happen at the end of days the very same end of days that we find ourselves in today what's going to happen before the mashiah comes and there's a lot of things that you can read which looks like we're reading the newspaper the mother-in-laws will have battles with their daughter-in-laws the face of the generation will be the face of the dog meaning both that we're going to be rude people and that scientifically will actually start looking like our dogs and there's actually proof of that if anyone wants to see a picture I'll show you after the sh no insult I used to have a dog too until he died about a year ago and many many other interesting facts of what's happening in mamash when you read it it looks like you're reading a newspaper but you can call all of that coincidence give me some facts thear was written a little less than 2,000 years ago at that time most of the world that we see today was very different we have a story of yov praying to Hashem saying Hashem I know that my descendants are going to sin in the future Hashem showed yov the future but please even the power that you give asav don't give him unlimited power against my descendants at least put a ring around his nose like you do a bull a bull is a very strong animal very big but if you put the ring around its nose it's easier to control so kazal says what does this mean [Applause] really and this is what it says do not remove his nose ring refers to Germania a royal province of Edom who if they would but go forth they would destroy the entire world Germania by the way is the way you say Germany in Hebrew and incidentally this gmania over here also to destroy the world but how do we know it's the same Germany said there are 300 crowned princes of Gman of and there are 365 Chief in Rome and every day one group Goes Forth to encounter the other group and one of them is killed and they would then have the trouble of appointing a new ruler in its stead when the was written Germany didn't exist if you look at the US archives which I did you find the foundation of Germany approximately 800 years ago nearly a, years after this is written and the makeup of Germany was exactly 300 Barbarian tribes that came together together and decided to call themselves Germany it seems like we're talking about the same one thear the oral is full of these all we have to do is read it all we have to do is find out and we had a earlier today about two hours worth of scientific proofs both from the written Tora and the oral Tora and there's one that I did online for anyone that missed it you could find it as I said Torah anytime.com or .org you can find my let enjoy them in the book of Exodus makes one of the other sins again and Hashem says to Moses how long will you refuse to observe my commandment and teachings again he complains about not listening to what he said he gave you some MIT he gave you the Shabbat and you're not following it says how long is it going to be meaning how much time do you want before I force you to do it if you look into the prophets Prophet Ezekiel he gives you a few interesting Prophets Prophecies of what's going to happen at the end of times he says for those who don't want to observe 100% they're 50/50 the time will come while I'll just force you to do it you will be my nation whether you like it or not but what if we're stubborn so I'll tell you a story story of someone that was stubborn the 19 90 we moved from Israel to the United States I was 10 years old I grew up in a semi-religious house went to a religious school just to have the maso to have some familiarity with what Judaism was it's much easier to be Jewish in Israel you're surrounded by them but as soon as we landed in the United States we didn't realize that if you don't go to Yeshiva and you don't stick to Hashem 24 hours a day it's very very easy to become a go now when you're born non-jewish there's nothing wrong with not being Jewish you could be a righteous non-jew just like job and get to a point of having prophecy and even a book of Torah written about you and go to Allah and have an extraordinary eternity but when you're a Jew you don't have that kind of option so we went to public school started working around the time I was maybe 11 years old had newspaper outs then I worked at the shoe store and then clothing stores helped the family out we were struggling in the beginning learned the value of money or at least the value that I thought it was worked hard in school was a relatively good student but none of really worked out that easily because when I first came to the US I only know the first three letters of the alphabet cuz it was in a Serial Box ABC but after a year when you're 10 years old you catch on quickly so after a year I passed my ESL test English is a second language test but the US education system is not comprised of the smartest people in the world because as soon as I passed my test they threw me in special ed they assumed that just because I passed my English test and I I'm new to the English language that also means I'm mentally challenged so I was surrounded by kids look that look like they were 30 and I'm 11 one guy had a beard B I'm not joking he really had a beard his name was Antoine scary as be but he liked me so anyway I be friend of these halfway criminals and I realized that I don't want to be there so I worked really hard and by the time I got to high school I was in advanced placement classes taking college courses playing football becoming a student athlete on my way to doing something big in life I was 17 years old I went to Binghamton University was considered a top student not the top but decent average I went to college had a nearly perfect GPA 3.9 GPA I wanted to be a psychiatrist a psychologist until I found out that I have to be in school for another eight years the problem with school is that most people that go there need to go there because they need to learn how to think that's the point of school usually a teenager doesn't know how to think they barely left their PlayStation when they were 18 years old I was already in the work world I was already working when I was 17 I was making $100,000 a year selling electronics and hustling and doing different types of things to make extra money being in college and hanging out with a bunch of loser smoking pot all day was not exactly my ideal fund okay once twice a week but I wanted to go make money so at 18 years old I decided that college is not for me and I dropped out I went back to the Work World went back to selling Electronics but within a few months I realized that Electronics is also not for me it's not exactly the most ethical business in the world Plus there's a cap you have to own the store in order to make a lot of money I didn't want to own the business so I started looking for something else so one day I just picked up and I left after my boss yelled at me and I'm not exactly want to be yelled at at least not at that age today I get yelled at all the time I'm married no she doesn't yell at me but that's a good joke though so I left and I ran into an old high school buddy and he said to me listen why don't you go into the car business I said okay let's see let's set set me up a meeting if you know somebody you set me up a meeting I go meet some owner of some car lot and I have a ponytail I have four earrings two on each side I'm built like a Greek statue cuz I played football and I used to work out night and day day eating creating for breakfast kind of healthy too and very very ambitious so I go and I meet this uh owner and he says oh come come in let's meet I'm like no no wait I don't want to waste your time can you just tell me how much does your top guy make and he says to me $150,000 I said okay thank you I'm not interested he looked at me twice and he said what do you mean you're not interested said well I'm already working somewhere else and I'm making $100,000 if your top guy makes 150 that means he's working here for at least 5 years I'm not waiting 5 years to make 50 more thousand doesn't make any sense this was a mindset of someone naive someone ambitious I'm not really sure yet $150,000 today would be phenomenal but back then it wasn't so I left and the guy was dumbfounded and my friend said okay listen if you want you can go into the business I'm trying to get into you can become a stock broker you can make a lot of money a lot of the guys that I work for make a lot of money I said okay great introduce me so I go to this office the parking lot is full of brand new cars if anybody saw the movie Boiler Room which is a crooked operation of stock Brokers this looked exactly the same and I later find out that they were also crooked just like them so I go and I see a bunch of young guys everybody's in their 20s and 30s everyone has a brand new car they're wearing th000 suits I said okay this is interesting and I asked the guy okay what do you have to do I know a little bit about the stock markets I had some money so I invested in the stock market and got lucky and had one of my stocks actually go up Hashem was Paving my way to go into this business I only find out 16 year L 16 years later why hint it's not the money so he tells me listen you come work for me you pay your dues pretty much you work for me for a while you pass your test you do this you do that you call prospects you make 250 bucks a week th000 bucks a month so okay I'll be here tomorrow a little bit of a downgrade about 90% but it has potential so I start working and being ambitious I realized very quickly that in order for me to be good I have to be better than everyone else so I have to start learning what the hell they're doing so I start reading the Wall Street Journal I start reading different things on the internet I start reading magazines and I get into it I work for them for about a month and then I find out that there's some guy coming to the office saying goodbye to everyone he has suitcases and he says goodbye and everyone's hugging him and kissing him and I have no idea what's going on oh maybe he's going on a long break few weeks later I find out he's going to jail so once I find out that he's going to jail which is about almost two months after I start working for these people I'm not making any sales I'm just asking people if they're interested in getting information from this firm 7:59 in the morning I'm reading my Wall Street Journal trying to get familiar with this business and my boss Dean yells at me saying what are you doing said I'm reading the Wall Street Journal relax CU you relax get out of here it's time to work said okay I'll go work somewhere else and I leave again I don't like when people yell at me my friend that got me the job calls me about an hour or two later says listen you come back if you want uh you know he'll take you back I said thank you very much I don't want I'll find somewhere else I go work for somebody else which ends up being in a city it's a friend of a my brothers used to play soccer together and I go start working for this guy smaller office not crooked like these people at least I find out later on that all of them almost all of them go to jail so hasem had some mercy on me so I go work for this other guy he's not a crook exactly like they are but he's not an angel either he's very vicious when it comes down to actually paying people so I work for him for free and I have to earn my way and for the next year and a half the most amount of money that I make in one month is $1,800 but he only pays me $900 because I was on the phone 10 times during the month past 8:00 in the morning on personal phone calls so he docks the whole days pay for that after that I decide to quit and I go back into making a little bit of money in the electronics business again for a few months until the firm that was a big firm from next door that heard about me and met me and so on he said listen if you want to come work for us we'll treat you better we'll do this we'll do that said okay fine listen I'm willing to I'm not willing to work for anyone I'm willing to be partners with somebody I'll build you know I'll get clients you develop the clients I'll one part of the business you the the other part of the business but since I don't really have any money I need you to pay me a draw meaning that I'll pay you back or you take it from the commissions we generate okay how much do you want I need $2,200 a month it's not exactly a lot of money especially when you're working 14 15 hours a day said fine no problem I come in I'm all excited I passed my Series 7 test I passed my series 63 test I already get two licenses which is like the average in the industry and I go start working for this guy after a month passes I asked him for my paycheck I got him 14 clients or 11 clients the first month I got him 11 new clients I said okay we're making some money this is good I said can I have my check he said no no no I hold the first check in case you screw me oh okay you're one of those fine for me to leave right now I have to start the whole story again I just left one place for two years almost now I'm going to start another place okay you know what I'll believe you I'll buy another month we'll double down I work another month I get 14 clients the second month which is a lot so now we have 25 new clients in two months I ask for my check and he gives me a check for $812 personal check I look at and I ask him is this lunch money or [Music] he said no no it's your paycheck from last month I said no no you're you're missing a few thousand supposed to be $4,400 even if you want to hold this F check for whatever excuse you made up last month it's still $ 2,200 cuz what are you talking about I don't remember promising you anything what do you mean we had an agreement he goes we have a contract so what contract you gave me your word you work for a big company we don't have a contract I don't remember what I said okay if you all remember every Wednesday we read a God is the one that takes revenge and he shows up once in a while I just didn't think it was for me until later on not a month po goes by I go obviously I go to the boss of the uh of the office and I tell him listen this guy robbed me for a few thousand I'm now finding out more information about him that apparently I'm not the first guy that he did it to I don't want to work for him anymore or with him or anything I just want to be independent and the guys and the all owner tells me he goes well listen I have to think about it and I'll get back to you said okay fine and he comes back and he says why should I let you be independent I said well I work better than I work harder than everyone else most people show up at 9 or 10:00 in the morning and leave at 4: I show up at 6:30 or seven I leave at midnight it's a good indication I'm going work I work hard okay but it's going to cost you about $44,000 a month to work here at least you know cuz you have to pay for the secretary and the office and the paper and the other paper and a phone bill maybe some paper too and some other stuff that he could just make up and it's about $4,000 says do you have it says no say where you going to get it from I said I have no idea but I'll get it so okay he lets me go on my own is what it's called in the industry and just 2 Days Later September 11th happens when Hashem says he takes Revenge he takes Revenge the guy that paid me $81 was out of the business apparently all of his money was in a stock market he lost all of it he left the business nice M lesson don't short people money play with their life so now we I can't work for the next few weeks cuz I can't go into Manhattan but eventually they allow me to go back into work and I find myself in a very peculiar time to build the business brokers are leaving the industry I'm just getting in clients are jumping out of Windows I'm looking to get them interesting time but just like there's a which means a desperate prayer in the business world is also desperate desperate times call for desperate measures usually the best businesses in the world start with nothing the ones that start with a lot of money usually fail or at least don't succeed as much I had not much of an option so I start going to work every day but eventually the money that I saved up runs out and for the next next six months I have to borrow $1 from a guy named Dimitri so I could buy a donut and coffee and that was my food for the day and I have to sneak on a bus pretending that there's money on the Metro card even though there really isn't and when the guy says oh there's no money on the Metro card said oh okay it's a different one okay let me get it from my bag and I'll be right back and I go back to the back of the bus and start praying that he doesn't call me to come back and has continued and a few times you had to throw me out of the bus rightly so and that's how I live for the next 6 months but I'm too proud to tell my parents I don't have any money I just know that if I work harder than everyone else something good supposed to happen and that's what I do 6 months into it struggling and eating a donut is uh pretty much the food for the day and having to go through the difficulty of having to borrow a dollar from someone every day and even if he wants to offer me more I refuse to take it and then my luxury was that once a week I would buy kosher balone from Kmart or Pathmark that was my luxury and that's it but I refused to work on Shabbat to this day I still don't know why I just know you're not supposed to work on Shabbat I didn't keep Shabbat but I didn't work on Shabbat six months into it I make my first break I actually after paying this guy's money I actually keep $5,000 to me it was all the money in the world the next month $10,000 the next month 12 November of 2002 I make $117,000 for the month I become the top guy in the office the next month I make $50,000 and then after that just gets to a point where every month gets bigger than the next by August of 2003 I make my first million dollar and I become the number three producing broker in the entire country for this big firm called Raymond James which has about 5,000 Brokers with an average career of 20 years I'm the new guy the CEO of the company writes a letter to my branch manager he says who's this guy and how is he making money when the rest of us are losing he says he works really hard so the CEO asks does he have Insider [Music] information Insider information means you possess illegal information about stocks and that's why they're working in a down Market I barely even knew what that was but the branch manager tells me he's listen you know they got an eye on you said okay I have two eyes what difference does it make I just work hard but I realized time for me to make a decision I build a nice business got to a point where people were making money with me people started calling me and asking me if they could invest with me as if they're doing as if I'm doing them a favor usually it's me chasing them not them chasing me nice I said okay I have to make a decision I'm either going to stay here forever and just work with their rules or leave and start my own company it's a typical Israeli I leave I start my own company one of many ruven companies I start my own firm and then the fun really begins I start hiring a bunch of employees train over the next several years over 135 different salesmen some of all of them come broke some of them leave Rich some just leave not everybody makes it but I train a lot of different people I hire analysts I hire brokers I had secretaries and over the next few years we start building a company we go from having just a investment firm to investing into fixed income to investing in Insurance to selling Insurance to starting a hedge fund and all types of fun businesses and it gets to a point where now by 2006 we're not I'm not making money I'm printing it a bad month is $200,000 the best month that year was 1.6 million for the month I just turned 26 life is good I also happen to meet a woman that cares about me wonderful woman drop dead gorgeous she lives in Florida she wants nothing from me except my my attention and she happens to work for me too just she works for a different company she's my Trader I do trades I need to buy a million shares of XYZ I call her I need to sell I call her I need something I call her I have nothing to do I call her too in the beginning for the first eight months or so was just just a phone relationship I didn't know what she looked like she was smart she was the best in the business and I swore that she was at least 5 to lb but then one day they invite me to a conference and they have her show me around and I see this tiny little cute girl you're the one from the phone all right so I started becoming nicer I called the company about a month later and I told them oh by the way that nice little girl that's helping me that's my Trader she's the best employee in your other company in your company said great oh yeah you have to give her a 50% raise and a private office too right pull strings I'm paying for it anyway what do they care it's money they're making for me so anyway so we become very very friendly and eventually we start dating and a couple years later in 20 6 she's already moved to New York we build another company together life is grand it's one thing that's a problem though she's not Jewish when Hashem said I created the Heaven and the Earth and everything in between he also gave us some rules he told Abraham a even before we got the written in the oral Torah AB make sure you don't marry anyone from the Canaanite Nations not allowed little by little this traveled until we got to Mount Si where Hashem gave us a little bit more details in the Book of Proverbs chter 31:3 it says give not your straight your strength to women and let your conduct not destroy the protocol of Kings I did a before so same water you think I'm a in this Proverbs kazal tells us here we learn about the sin of wasting seed wasting seed unfortunately is a politically incorrect Topic in today's world even though it's one of the most important for us to know why it's one of three sins in the entire Torah which gets someone if they do it intentionally into the seventh chamber of Gom which never ends it's Eternal suffering just like there's Eternal greatness and amazing Anda and yay there's also opposite seven Parts we're not going to go into the details I don't want to depress you each one gets worse than the other but each one of them ends the first six end at some point A Thousand Years a million years a billion years whatever but it ends at some point except chamber seven it never ends very depressing there's three sins for anyone who doesn't know what are those three sins one of them as we just discovered is wasting seed on purpose a problem that even Yeshiva kids that send me emails on a daily basis have because no one teaches them what means we're not politically correct so we made approximately 5 hours worth of shim about the topic it's unfortunately the only shirim available online that are comprehensive to talk about the topic there's only two other small shim that are available by two amazing rabbis Rabbi Alon NAA and RAB mrai the only other truth tellers that I know of publicly in online Shing they each made a short Shure about it we wanted to be a little bit more comprehensive because we have a lot to catch up on so we made one lecture for an hour we saw a lot of feedback a lot of people started doing chuva so we said okay let's give some more details so we're invited to New York and we gave a three and a half hour lecture about it anyone that wants to learn about it you have it available on the very same websites we mentioned early today talking about it and here King Solomon the wisest man of all time tells us that every time that you were the woman you're giving a part of your strength obviously every time you with intimately he says don't give your strength to the women obviously he's not telling you not to be with your wife what he's telling you is that if you're going to spend too much time with women you're going to destroy your future you're not going to be able to be successful in life because even a king has to have a protocol a king has to have a system a king has to have control but now the rest of kazal tells us something even more interesting that someone in the gar it says that someone that's with a non-jew is violating multiple sins the first one is wasting seed not good the second one this is oh so you guys actually want to hear what I say the second one is being with a non-jew third one is being with a nid which anyone that knows about the is of being with your wife without her going through family Purity going to the mikve it's actually a worse sin than being with your own mother that's how bad being graphic cuz that's the only way people get the picture incest is disgusting to people good so wake people up maybe they'll go to m [Music] instead and last but not least it's considered like you've been with a harlot why is the non-jew getting such a rough insult because being not Jewish is fine you could be part of the righteous among the Nations have like I said earlier today be like job no problem you all have to just follow simple rules you have the seven noahide laws which are all rational and logical and then have anything else that makes sense for anyone to keep like for example respect your parents as part of the Ten Commandments but it's not part of the seven noahide laws but they're still obligated to follow it why because if you don't respect your parents you're not going to have a civilized civilization so anything that makes sense somewhere in a neighborhood of about 50 total [Music] rules let's try I could talk louder okay can you hear me hear me I don't think you can hear me tell I'll talk louder the microphone switches oh maybe ah okay here we go so now since someone has such an easy layup and we call it in the Sports World layup opportunity to go to all you have to do is observe a few mitv because God said so not just because it makes sense and you get AA and you go and ruin it by killing a Jew and this is whym gets very upset because the Jew is not allowed to be with the non-jew so now the non-jew whether it's a male or a female is charged with murder and shamim they're charged with murder and murder is one of the seven Noah laws that they're not allowed to do same thing like they're not allowed to do in the Ten Commandments because the Jew that's going to be with the non-jew is cutting himself from the nation this is a big deal why let's think about itob sacrificed their life in order for am Israel to exist eventually am Isel turns into also the Jewish Nation the only thing that changed is that we Reed the Torah in Mount saai and that's when we became Jewish people if am is went and got to Mount Si and said you know what God we don't want the Torah and someone else came along and said you know what we're going to get the Torah instead it's free we'll take two of them then they would be Jewish and am would not why because what makes you Jewish is the Torah not the fact that your mom is Jewish your mom being Jewish qualifies you to be Jewish doesn't make you Jewish what's my source converts converts convert they parents are not Jewish but they become Jewish as a matter of fact they become so Jewish that they're considered higher than a natural-born Jew Source many one of them is the fact that the special deal that converts get in the Torah is mentioned more than any other Mitzvah in the entire Torah 36 times on top of that you all say it in every single day in your amid prayer you get to a section when you ask Hashem for a blessing just like he blessed the sages the righteous theim and eventually gets to us but right before us it says righteous converts so we see that there is a chain of command a chain of importance according to hashem's eyes the righteous convert is higher than a natural born Jew why he chose God the Jew didn't he was just born that way so he gets extra credit for it but if someone chooses to stay non-jewish that's fine too they have a l if they follow the laws but if they want the Best of Both Worlds and they want to be a non-jew do less mitv but all at the same time marry a Jew be with a Jew even be intimate with a Jew then you get the worst of Both Worlds you get charged with murder and you're both in deep trouble I didn't know this I knew it wasn't exactly great but I didn't know it was that bad if you look at the last 3,300 years has suffered every single generation there was not one generation that did not struggle when the go told us to Idol worship we follow theah die and not sin bow to an idol no kill us instead and they killed us worship a cross no kill us instead and they killed us leave Judaism no kill us instead and that's what they did generation after generation of 3,300 plus years years died just for you to be Jewish and you're going to go ruin [Music] it by ending it cuz as soon as you're intermarried Judaism ends it ends so are you ready that when you go to shamai and yob and approximately a billion other Jews show up at your trial and they ask you a question why' you end it what are you going to say what are you going to say when I ask you why' you end it I wasn't sure I didn't know that's what I thought [Music] when Hashem tells us in his Torah that he has Mercy most people misunderstand it and by most I mean like 99.9% it's a majority most people think that Mercy means Hashem just doesn't really care you could sin and they'll just let it go okay drive on Shabbat AEM understand only reason Moses drove on Shabbat is because he didn't drive on Shabbat cuz he didn't have a [Music] car I need to work on Shabbat cuz hm didn't give me enough money I'm helping him out people rationalize when you don't keep me you could easily rationalize living your life I did says I spoke for oh no it's 60 minutes so it's 6 hours I said there's no way I spoke for 6 hours [Music] not yet and he still have another 5 hours left so when Hashem says that he has Mercy on us he doesn't mean that he forgets it means that he's going to give you a shot and another shot and another shot and another shot to wake up wman was once asked all of the secular people that are born into not you know not the most righteous families are they all going to go to Gom and which wasn't exactly known as the you know one that gives it on the head all the time it was Man Of Truth 100% but the answer was surprising said of course they will why would you think otherwise students were shocked said what what do you mean why all of these secular people going to go to Gom is there enough room yes and the says that GOM continues to grow gedan is limited why so well just imagine this you walk around in a desert there's nothing and then eventually you just see a huge castle knock on the door and the door opens you see everything is brand new food fresh served as if it's waiting for you and there's diamonds right next to it you should start taking stuff and eating and putting the diamonds in your pocket and eventually one of the guards catches you and throws you in jail they bring you in front of the judge and judge asks you what do you think you were doing goes what I didn't see anybody I didn't think anyone owned it so J says you really think it all came from nothing you got an extra punishment for that for the nerve of thinking that there's a perfect castle in the middle of the desert with food that's fresh and diamonds right next to it just waiting for you that's life you were born into a perfect world to think that you came from nothing and there's no point is an additional sin by itself so Hashem had mercy on me and he gave me a few wakeup calls but I refused to listen all of a sudden 2006 despite making money start having some problems in my life business wasn't going as smoothly as it was supposed to to but I just said okay it's just a trend we were going straight up for the last several years it's bound to happen some friends weren't exactly so friendly I said no I'll replace them we'll buy new ones you happen to have a lot of friends when you have money by the way they just come with it so I didn't get the signs says okay when I wrote a stubborn Nation you were included now I got to show you who's the boss November 18th 2006 same year that I made millions and millions of dollars my top year I decide to go have an elective surgery a surgery that I didn't actually have to have it was an annoying problem that bothered me once a year for the last 10 years called hemorrhoids 2/3 out of the human population have it don't worry you won't go through the same experience but I went to have the surgery because the doctor told me listen buddy it's not a big deal I've been doing these surgeries for 16 years considered an expert one of the top doctors in it I do four or five surgeries a day it's like a factory I said okay I don't really care about all of that I just want to know how long am I going to be out of work cuz for me it's $3,000 an hour being out a whole day it's a lot of money a week is even more said no it's not a big deal you just come in on Wednesday you're back to work on Monday okay so it's like a long weekend all right let's do it I go to the surgery I wake up a different person the person that came into the surgery was 99% healthy the person that woke up was 100% sick screaming my lungs out from pain because I feel that someone is taking a knife and cutting my body over and over and over again and it won't stop they start giving me more morphine and discover that since I never took a drug in my life cuz I actually like my brain my body is rejecting it morphine doesn't work so they gave me more and more and I keep screaming and the only thing I can recognize is my wife and my mom and the only thing I can get out of my my mouth other than screaming is kill me please no one wanted to listen eventually after a while they give me the most amount of morphine legally allowed they said that to the average person it would be 10% of it and the amount that they gave me would kill several people eventually calms me down I calm down I said oh good I know what gome looks like I calm down and some strange reason they decided to release me from the hospital said listen you're fine we don't know what that hiccup was but you look fine now go home mistake number two on the way home we go pick up some shua I remember that cha sandwich like it was yesterday never that Chua sandwich has got some serious Fame I tell you over the last couple years so I get a shama sandwich if anyone wants to sponsor me I could uh tell what sh place was I could even tell him from Arizona how would they know so I get a sh we eat at the house I tell everyone thank you for coming it was a very eventful day I'm going to sleep good night I wake up exactly 45 minutes later with worse screams than I had before the Waring wore out and I'm in worse situation only this time it doesn't stop for 62 days now what happens once you can't sleep for more than 15 minutes in a row for a long period of time is you start hallucinating start seeing things and then slowly but surely you start dying so my liver started failing and I started urinating blood if that wasn't enough blood started coming out of my eyes my ears started getting in infected I started slowly dying and screaming all along I would take somewhere between 75 to 120 painkillers a day so I could sleep that 15 minutes the doctors were not even able to subscribe me that many so I had some friends in interesting places get me the [Music] rest you got to do what you got to do the doctor weren't able to do anything other than torture me a little more every time I would go there they would do these checks that would make things hurt a lot more and at one point actually told my wife he's probably dying well the would have it that was just wakeup call after 62 days things started calming down I only have to take 20 ping Killers a day now but I was able to walk to go from here to let's say the end of the Sho would take about 45 minutes instead of 30 seconds for a normal person but for me it was a miracle I wasn't in that much pain it was instead of a level 50 it's like a level eight it's good for me it was ganeden little by little I would get back to work I was in a lot of pain but things started getting better still no chuba I just thought that I got another shot this God in heaven was upset at something so he got his anger out now I'm back well apparently I didn't get the message so 9 months later I wake up with pain in the back of my leg thinking that I pulled the muscle while I was sleeping I have no idea how so it probably go away by tomorrow it doesn't go away it actually the pain extends becomes bigger I have to go to the emergency room because I can't move and the doctors do some interesting tests and they said yes you have an internal infection called an abscess in between two muscles in a very very weird place and if you were here just 2 hours later it would explode and you would die on the spot oh emergency surgery now I'm in intensive care unit next to people that are dying for the next two weeks this wor this one is much worse than the first now they have the IV full of morphine 24 hours a day and I just keep pressing the button finger got some exercise eventually I'm released from the hospital with this new interesting surgery my wife has to help me with the swound because when you have an abscess it's the healing is even more interesting than the surgery because they have to allow the infection to get out of your body they can't sew it up as a matter of fact you have to keep reopening it every few hours that was her job my job was just to scream I didn't get the message though no Chua 6 months later another pain different area not connected back to the hospital in intensive care unit next to a bunch of people that are dying some of them are actually dying we're comparing screams mine was sometimes louder Intensive Care Unit surgery the whole story all over again back out back to business 3 months later again and then it's every month every month a good month five weeks and it gets to a point where I have to go to a doctor every single week and I struggle with 24 hours a day worth of pain for the next 7 years eventually my body can deteriorates it's not just the area that I have the infection it gets to a point where it's from my neck all the way to the bottom of my feet is always in pain couple years after the original surgery maybe 3 years after the original surgery I wake up and my feet hurt by the next day they've done doubled in size by the next day the rest of my leg is doubled in size I go to Cornell University to ask him what the hell is happening with my body they told me maybe it's the heat I said maybe you should go back to school they have no diagnosis as usual I go back home and eventually get to a point where I can't walk so now I ask you a question how much is $20 million worth when you can't work you can't run you can't function you can't think and you're always in [Music] pain so if I didn't get the message yetem says okay is what the prophet said God says mine is the silver mine is the gold it's all mine you start treating it like it's me I'll take that too so he starts taking money all of it it was a miracle making that much money when I was very very young it was a bigger miracle that I lost all of it in much less time so I start losing money my friends become enemies the guys that I hir to start running my company start stealing from me the companies that I'm dealing with all of a sudden start changing the rules and everything that could go wrong goes wrong my investments that have been working out for years and years in a row in good and bad markets all of a sudden I I become the stupidest guy on Wall Street everything that I pick goes wrong I pick for a to go up it goes down I pick for it to go down it goes up the funny thing is that with experience you actually get better at the job not worse so even if I intentionally tried to lose the money I still wouldn't do as bad everything that could go wrong goes wrong my health continues to deteriorate and I get to a point where I just want to die and the only reason that's keeping me alive is this cute little girl that's been sticking around for the last few years that happens not to be Jewish some people ask me hey don't you want Jewish kids said sure why not said well why don't you tell to convert I said well I'm not keeping it why should I tell her to do it I'm not a hypocrite yeah why don't you find a better girl said you go find me one better than this you go find me one that sees our husband suffer 24 hours a day lose everything and everyone becomes his enemy and it's happy and excited to say good morning makes him feel like a king go find me one like this go find me one that's going to stick around through hell with a smile they usually leave after that so I Justified it in my own way but despite how wonderful she was despite how happy I was with her I was still going through hell and she was watching it something had to change I started getting to a point where I started feeling bad for her so you know what maybe if I die she'll gone with her life find someone she doesn't have to watch screaming and yelling and crying all day and I got to a point of desperation where I started planning when they say that Hashem is merciful they say that he not only gives you the wakeup call to give you a shot so you don't have to go to that place we're talking about before but also means that he's never going to give you a test that you can't pass I got to that point so as I start to think and think and think and what I'm going to do one day I go to visit my parents for Friday uh night dinner we do a k I go into serious pain in the middle of dinner it's very very disturbing to see people's faces looking at me I know what I'm feeling but it's even worse to see how they're feeling watching me so I leave in frustration and I go home and I start thinking okay I can't do this anymore I start thinking what am I going to do by Monday I'm starting to think okay it's time let's figure a plan out but you know what these two special women in my life my mom and my wife maybe at least I should be extra nice to them before I go so I called my mom for the first time in years even though I used to see her once or twice a month or sometimes a little less towards the end it was a lot less I was become uh I was becoming more and more antisocial I said you know what let's call my mom and she answers the phone hysterical crying saying saying talk to him talk to him apparently I've gone into a middle of a conversation with her and someone else and I say who talk to him said who's a he's your cousin now let's give you a little bit of a background on a fine when I left Israel Ephraim was a baby meaning that for the last 20 something years that I was here already at that point I didn't know he existed he's my brother he's my mother's brother's son so my cousin but I didn't know he existed he's a little younger than I am or a lot younger than I am and had two different lives but a grew up to become a very very big at a very very young age before he was 20 years old he already finished the sh four times two times jushi two times bav because it was some type of competition in his mind by the time I met him he already published six books for himself and maybe another eight or nine for other people including diim you could say he's a special soul will be one of one day but again none of that information is helpful for me when I don't know it so my Mom saw that her son is dying and's in pain and she got to a point of desperation and she has what every Jewish mother has which is a phone book full of rabbis phone numbers and she starts calling rabbis from all over the world and whoever can answer the phone and give her our poor son our dying son blessing but today no one answers the phone she calls all over the US no answer she calls Israel no answer she calls different places for almost 2 hours and no one answers eventually after two hours of calling phone number after phone number someone in Israel answers and she asks for Rabbi so and so and the woman says in Hebrew I'm sorry you called the wrong phone number there's no such so what do you do after you called for 2 hours and finally you got to a soul and you called the wrong phone number well when you're my mother start crying and that's what she did she started hysterical crying and breaking down to this strange woman on the [Music] phone when Abraham ainu was 3 years old he he finally came out of the cave that his father was hiding him in from Nim and the reason why he was hiding him is because if he didn't nimod would kill him after 3 years he finally comes out and he sees the Sun for the first time and he thinks that's God but then he sees the Sun go down and the moon comes up he says oh that's God and he prays to the moon and the sun all night to the all day to the sun until the moon comes up and he realized he made a mistake so he starts doing chuva he starts praying to the moon and then eventually the Sun comes back up and they realize he's been praying to the wrong God and eventually kazal says this eventually the owner of the castle peaked at him and told him I'm the [Music] owner and that's when abah began to become Abraham he was looking for God and just like God says to us in chapter 4 of Deuteronomy if if you look for me you will find me if you look for me with all of your heart and all of your soul at the age of three did something that most people that are still in their 60s and 70s have been done and he actually looked for God and he found [Music] them I got to that point too because I lost all hope I realized that I went to over 50 different doctors and doctors don't have my medicine all they have is painkillers and excuses and big bills of hundreds of thousands of dollars they're going to charge me when people would tell me why don't you go to more doctors cuz I tried over 50 and they're the best in the world I actually had money to pay them and it didn't work I became an experiment and an actual study where they started injecting ozone into my uh veins maybe they could purify my blood I also started taking steroids also took vitamins to an IV acupuncture everything and anything you could possibly imagine when you have money in a lot of pain you become creative it didn't work I lost all hope so then the owner of the castle peaked and show me who boss when my mom called this wrong phone number in Israel and she started crying when the woman told her it's the wrong phone number the woman says Doris which is my mom's my mom's name and Mom is shocked says who are you how do you know my name says well I'm your niece she goes what n says Pina how do I get to you I don't even have your phone number we've never spoken on the phone before and as a side note they didn't even like each other until after this story and P says I don't know but if you got to me apparently hasem has a reason P happens to be in the most religious part of of my entire family and says why are you crying she says well my son is dying I need to talk to a rabbi I need to talk to someone say well if you're looking for a rabbi why don't you talk to my brother fine and he's also lives next door to I can help CU yeah you talk to me of course you're the ant from America so my mom immediately calls raim he's obviously in a but he finds out that my mom calls and he calls her right back and my mom starts talking to her F and crying our eyes out FR is very very wise and he says does he speak Hebrew and she says yes he speaks a little Hebrew go oh so why can I just talk to him no he won't talk to you he doesn't talk to anybody he barely talks to us maybe once a month and at that very moment that she said he won't talk to you that's when I called and that's why she answered talk to him talk to him he can help you who a find who's this a f and why is he making you cry he's your cousin just talk to him okay I'll talk to anybody just stop crying it's unbearable for a son to see his mom cry so FR calls me he sounds like a nice guy and I tell him one of my problems he's like go I'll tell you a story he tells me the story of Judah and tamama something that a first grader in Yeshiva knows that story apparently I didn't know the details of it say why do you think Hashem did it why do you think Hashem let Judah sleep with Tamar in such an unusual way thinking that she's a prostitute her having to pretend she's a prostitute in the first place and at the end of all of it make the mhia come from there it's a pretty good question enough for nothing I could understand he's righteous she's righteous they got married fine but the fact that his two sons were Wicked which by the way was for wasting seed this is actually one of the major sources of where we learn that wasting seed is not only disgusting to Hashem for Jews and Gentiles but both get punished for it it's not just for Jews because the time and Onan were alive there was no Torah yet meaning we didn't have the written laws like we have today so make two sons D the third one is too young to marry and then she waits and waits and waits and realizes eventually that Judah is not intending to marry her and she has a prophecy that the messia is going to come from him and she wants a peace a righteous woman pretends to to be not righteous fools him into sleeping with her and then when it's found out just a few months later that she's pregnant the people of the Town say that she's desecrating your name Judah he was the equivalent of a king she didn't wait she apparently slept with another man and Judah says burn her that was the punishment and she says okay fine but right before you burn me I just would like to say one word to Judah and Judah comes and being polite listens to this what he thinks is a harlot what he thinks is a sinner her plea and she doesn't plea she doesn't ask for her life instead she says do you know who these belong to and she shows him his ring she shows him his underwear and she shows him that he has a choice a choice that we learned from she tells them that you have an option you can either say that yes these are yours and you're about to kill me for something you did which is embarrassing for a king or anyone for that matter or you could deny it that I could just burn and I won't tell anyone else because I rather burn than embarrass you in public and this is where David gets his Source when he says it's better to burn than embarrass someone else in public because someone that somebody else in public loses his share for the world to [Music] come so he tells me the story and I find it very fascinating I tell him why did God do it say because just like Hashem has his own chair he gave the Satan his chair too and he had to fool him in order for him not to disturb this whole story because Hashem also wrote a promise that as soon as the mashiah comes one of the major missions is going to be to kill the Satan eliminate the so obviously it's against the's interest for the mhia to come so he tries to get in the way in every way possible so if you look at the story of the lineage of the mashiah it always comes from a weird place it starts with the incest between lot and his daughters and then you have the what they thought is prostitution from Judah and Tamal and then you have Ruth the convert that really didn't have much of a reason to convert other than the fact that she loves God cuz he wasn't getting anything else for it and then you have Beva and King David and a bunch of interesting stories in between so we see that this strange way of how the mashiah is going to come was from the beginning so I find this story very very interesting like I'm sure some of you do or I hope at least you do and we continue talking for about an hour and 40 minutes I ask him a question he gives me an answer but he doesn't give me an answer like you ask me a question I give you an answer he gives me a source I ask him a question and he makes me feel good about it by saying oh yes that's such a good question so and so Rabbi asked the same question 850 years ago in this book on that page in this paragraph first thing I was thinking to myself how does he know the page number I didn't know that that's how think so okay fine of course it's a good question I asked it what do you think so I ask another question oh what a good question don't this Rabbi asked this question 350 years ago on this page this number this paragraph so he knows two books by heart I just keep asking questions now and he keeps answering the questions with a page number and a book and a rabbi and he makes me feel great about it that I asked the same question that some giant asked and I didn't even know the guy existed so he makes you feel good about it too so I'm like wow I'm smarter than I thought so we talked for an hour and 40 minutes a lot of interesting questions and the conversation ends the next week at thir THS 4:00 I get a call from a f i start coming up with questions I didn't even know I had he gives me the answers and we talk for 3 hours next Thursday 4:00 he calls me at 4: we have a conversation we talk for 5 hours next Thursday 4:00 same time same place we talk for 7 hours and every single week an average conversation between 5 to 7 hours with no break only questions only answers once in a while we go to the bathroom but aside from that my world is shut off and the biggest fan of it all is the very same lady that we've been talking about the whole night when 4:00 comes my phone is taken away from business no one can get to me no one even knows where I am because my guard outside my door refuses to let anyone in she sees me happy on Thursday the rest of the week is terrible and every time I finish the call I start teaching her everything I know start writing stuff down start filling up these notebooks more and more information we start getting answers now you've been when you've been looking for answers your whole life getting them is a real high I start asking questions I didn't even know I had and for the next nine months despite the suffering despite the pain despite losing [Music] money I start getting answers and I stop caring and for the next nine months I find God I find the answers questions I didn't know I had later on I asked the FR how'd you know all the answers and he tells me something surprising he says I didn't I never asked the questions you asked I said okay so that just makes it weird how' you know the answers he says in the Torah world we called help from Heaven what I would do right before our call is I would pray for hem to give me the answers for questions I didn't know existed cuz I never asked them you asked the question Hashem gave me the answer therefore we both learned and that's why until this day when I tell him yes you remember when you taught me this and this he goes no I don't remember I remember we studied together so I started learning and I started teaching my wife and little by little we realized that Houston we have a problem one day ra FR calls me he says I found a k k is like a new insight and I would get very excited about his Kim it's like you know in the zor it says that anyone that is intermarried is going to lose his health and his money said who said [Music] that said it's like ah he doesn't know what he's talking about he doesn't know me he didn't know about me before he wrote that I start arguing I don't even have a clue where a be is I get so upset who does he think he is writing this stuff later I would find out how much of a peanut I am next to this R ma funny thing is that it wasn't a k at all and he didn't need to go to the zor to find it it's in every single book of the Torah Book of Genesis Exodus Leviticus everything every single book of the Torah has it every single book ever talking about marriage in general talks about it every single Al book that talks about marriage talks about it it's the foundation of Judaism just like Shabbat as a saes say that if someone found a patent in a way a system a fluke where they found a way to keep 612 MIT out of 613 it's not possible because we're not all kohanim we're not all women and we don't have the BET mikdash and we don't all live in Israel but let's say you were able to find a way to keep all 600 12 and you're missing one and the one just happens to be Shabbat K says this not me so don't take it personal 612 are worthless it's like you did nothing if you don't keep Shabbat you can make every single sin and still do chuat and still be considered Jewish but with Shabbat until you do chuat your Judaism is on suspension you're considered like a gentile that's not righteous you considered like a that's not righteous there's a righteous one that Hasa that we talked about all night that goes TOA and is great and is like job he a prophet and has a book out of the 24 books of the Torah written about and then there's there not so much there's Hamman there's Hitler it's those people well they were Idol worshippers according to theora according to ra according to in seven places according to the Z according to the according to the Tora in every single page that it talks about interm marriage a JEA violate Shabbat says says they get death upon death and they're cut off from the nation first death mean they cut their life short second death means that they lose their share of the world to come and being cut off from the nation means the obvious which means that they're no longer considered part of am they're considered not Jewish this is for Shabbat that I didn't know and many people don't know now I found out and I also found out that this inter marriage stuff is a big deal too so I figured you know what I can't now that I'm going to start keeping it start wearing to start keeping Shabbat start learning to start becoming obsessed with Torah the interesting part of that Torah is the more Torah you learn the more you start to hate business in we learned something very valuable from one of the most important converts in in history his name was it gives a suggestion to mosenu the greatest Prophet that ever lived the only one that ever spoke to God face to face not physically obviously but face to face meaning that he spoke to him openly while being awake comes up with an idea that hasem gives him he gets to get an idea that's relatively logical but hasem wants him to have it he wants to him to have the credit because of the the self sacrif rice that he did by losing all of his money his friends his family and everything in between just because he heard about the truth that's why the begins with the word he heard about the God of Israel and that was enough he didn't have to see proofs like today's generation he heard and he left idol worship he heard and he left his job which was being the pope very rich he heard and he left all of his friends and he finally gets to mount sa and he gives mhu an interesting idea and he says listen you should build a judicial system with a chain of command you can't do it all yourself you should have certain people under you to deal with the people there's big cases small cases mediocre cases and so on and so forth and what are the qualities of these people interestingly enough it's also a quality of somebody that wants to be a he says this they have to be men of accomplishment which means that they only have a good foundation of Torah and they're ambitious they have to have God-fearing people because if you're learning T and you have no but you're not learning T you're learning a history [Music] book and if you have Tor but no then your Tor is considered to to disgusting men of Truth meaning that the truth is above everything even when it's not politically correct even when it's not very popular even when no one wants to hear it hasem said it we say it and last but not least people despise money why despise money because if they despise money you can't buy them the truth is more valuable so I started learning T I started seeing more and more that I am starting to dis money and then I find out that the only way to wake my wife up is by telling her that there's something wrong with our religion but the reality of it is being that I'm not a hypocrite I can't really do that CU I don't really know if there is or there isn't I just used to make fun of it I would call it the remix they took our book they remixed it into something else like Puff Daddy did with music I thought it's the same so I said okay well you know you can't really tell somebody to stop believing something it's not an Advil you can't just take a pill so I have to find if there's something wrong with it so I started learning about Christianity I started watching debates started watching rather by Toby a singer a few other rabbis a few other books started becoming obsessed started finding everything and anything that could be possibly wrong with that religion and every time I looked there's something more it got to a point where every single page has something wrong with it there's constant contradictions if it's supposed to be the second book then that means that it has to agree with the first book the first book says the Torah that Jacob came down to Egypt with 70 people and no less than three places in the Torah the New Testament says 75 where the extra five people come from first book says where the the C and if you don't believe what the Torah says you could just go there because it's still there the New Testament has the wrong address God forgot and I continue to find foolish mistakes like this [Music] and eventually I watch a debate by Rabbi ysep mizaki and for the first time ever I see that there's not only something wrong with it it's fake it's not about being wrong wrong is you went inside the wrong bathroom you mistakenly went into the women's bathroom instead of the men's bathroom by mistake you weren't paying attention happens that's wrong fake is you went off a cliff instead of the bathroom and that's what Christianity is only they've been being fooled for 2,000 years even the wrong people and about two billion people believe it so now I wasn't looking to show her there's something wrong now I was looking to save her life just like she did mine now I became p and I started praying and crying to Hashem every single day and I told him that it doesn't matter if it takes me another 70 years I'm not leaving until she leaves it I'm not leaving until she sees it then she can make a choice it's not about her converting anymore just about her saving her life I tried to her the debate she watches the first part of the debate the part the debate is three parts she watches the first debate the first part of the debate the conclusion is the rabbi is arrogant and the priest is a after about a week of convincing I make a watch part two the rabbi is still arrogant and the professor SL priest is still a she doesn't like either one of them but she does know there's something wrong okay okay there's interesting questions here let me look into it I got some signs of life so now I become obsessed at 2 3 4 5 6:00 in the morning non stop looking for proofs looking for anything I could possibly find and my life turns into into hell I never had one fight with my wife for all the years that we were together at that point I think we were together for several years maybe eight years all of a sudden we're fighting about nothing and I can't let it go I have to find the truth she loves Judaism she just doesn't think that conversion is optional it's either you're born Jewish or not and little by little she starts doing her own research she discovers things that I couldn't even find myself and then she gets to a point where he says okay I need a sign I need something I need I see that it's allowed to convert it's actually a big Merit I see that the Torah the oral toah is real the written toah is real this is all wonderful you're still in pain by the way [Music] our business is still going down the hill but I know what's real and what's not but I still need something that I could hold on to so as you would have it I just you know we start reading this book that I made a sh about early today science comes of age at that point it was called the coming Revolution by Rabbi zamir Cohen shows a lot of Torah proofs very interesting book we start reading it on Shabbat read it out loud to each other I recommend it to everyone to do read a couple of pages to each other out loud it's very very you know just invigorating to see God in his own creation and reading and learning out loud and learning with your spouse is the best thing you could possibly do for each other even more than intimacy so we start doing this and we start looking for more Torah and science stuff and one day Rabbi YouTube shows me a video called Torah and Science by some Rabbi that sounds familiar called Rabbi mrai and this one also has three parts and I tell my wife listen this looks interesting you want to watch oh is that arrogant guy again by the way she's his biggest fan today so we watch part one our minds are blown everything changed something clicked for both of us it's amazing maybe it's still early maybe 1:00 in the morning so okay let's watch part [Music] two press part two part two doesn't work now I have a little bit of a scratch I have to do things in order like I'm the guy that they wrot the preface for in a book like they you know the guy saying thank you to his wife and to the publisher and all the names in the beginning and in the end of the book that no one ever reads I read it it's for me so to go from part one to part three was like for me it's like sacrifice but I saw she show she's so into it okay part two is not working let's just watch part three so really you can do that I said for you anything baby so we watched part three part three is even better than part one it's amazing our minds are blown but now we're in a dilemma anyone that ever converted would tell you that they went through something similar the point that they find out that there's something wrong with what their pre-existing belie belief has is the most difficult time of their life because now you don't just go from believing something to believing something else it's a two-step process first you go from believing something to realizing you're wrong which means you now have nothing you go from something to nothing and before you get the step two which is to replace it with something whether it's for a moment an hour a week a month or even a lifetime you feel like death because you have nothing you regret that you got to this point because you were better off believing something fake than believing nothing cuz at least you had hope after part three that's where she got so that night I find out later later on she had a different kind of prayer than most of us do she prayed to God the same God we believe in and the same God she always believed in just in the past she had a middleman she believed in his God and she said Okay God I got it but I need a sign I need something and generally you're not allowed to look for signs but she was desperate and she says hem I know you're real but I need to know that you want me to convert or just kill me because I can't stay with him now I know that and I know he won't leave me and I'm definitely not going to be responsible for him to go to Gom for me so just kill me instead or give me a sign apparently she has some serious medic uh merits upstairs because when she woke up the next morning she wasn't exactly in the best mood in the world after such a prayer I was up all night looking for part two somewhere around 8:30 in the morning I find part two working said an forget let's not go to work forget work let's just watch part two and she has like a tsha mood you know she's not exactly happy I like you know what fine let's just watch part [Music] two and then the owner of the castle peaked and showed us whose boss if you remember chapter 4 book of Deuteronomy tells us so much in this someone can live a whole life Lifetime and not finish it but here RAB misi shows something very special introduces us to a something that I heard about and saw a little bit of but she didn't introduces us to something called Torah codes Torah codes are hidden messages within the Torah that you have to use mathematical calculations to figure them out in order for it to order for you to see that it's a code that's actually by design it cannot just be random for example if you look for the word Hitler may his name be erased is what that means you're going to look for five letters of just a hypothetical example you're going to look for H Then I then T then L then e r but the this obviously does no character in the Torah name that name but you're going to look for that name using Torah codes by looking for equal mathematical skips of letters between each letter meaning that the H and then let's say 50 letters and then the I and then another 50 letters and then another T another 50 letters and so on and so forth it has to be the same skip between each letter because that shows that it's not random if it's 15 and 12 then 13 then you can make up any word and it just becomes Sodom and Gomorrah you can make up anything but if it's not random if it's just an equal skip then you have something if that's the smaller the skip the more you see it's by Design because if it's let's say 12,937 letters it's not as interesting as 50 especially when you know that the Torah has 34,000 letters now what makes it even more interesting is if you find find that word in a paragraph that has to do with the word and you got something if you find other words in the same paragraph as the other word in a paragraph that talks about those words then you see it design so for example if you look for all of the words that have to do with the Holocaust the most traumatizing but yet a memory that all of us can connect to one way or another you look for all the words that have to do with it whether it's Hitler or the other angels of death that assisted him or the gas Chambers or all the disasters that happened to it you will find all of them every single one of those words in one of two mainly in the very same par that talks about the punishment that is will get for not following hasem the very same par that mentions that this nation from far away will have a symbol of an eagle by the way the Nazis and the Romans both had this what about yeah but they haven't turned into the Nazis yet that's in the end of the days discussion we have next week but nonetheless you see that all of these words you find them in the same place now in this paragraph in Chapter 4 it says this I read in Hebrew and then in English translation this is what Hashem is telling us after we've sinned this is what's going to happen Hashem will scatter you amongst the people and you will be left few in number among the Nations where Hashem will lead you so part one of the punishment is being spread amongst the four corners of the world if you've noticed there's Jews everywhere this is part of the reason there you will serve Gods the handywork of man so we go from bad to worse we've sinned he scatters us over there we get worse we start Idol worshiping but these specific Idols he gives us what an indication of what they look like there you will serve God's the handiwork of man of wood and stone which do not see and do not hear and do not eat and do not smell now there are three major or four major religions if you want to call it in the world today obviously you have Judaism you have Buddhism you have Islam and you have Christianity now Stone What's it connected to Islam their place of worship the number one place is not the Jerusalem they keep fighting us about because they pray opposite of Jerusalem where are they praying towards they're pring towards a place called Mecca in the middle of Mecca there's a huge Square stones that they pray to Shem is calling it handiwork of man the god of stone Christianity Catholicism come both from the New Testament as being symbolized by the god of wood what's would in Christianity the cross so this is a nice coincidence you can call it two major religions being represented by a verse you could say it's something else too until you get the Torah codes ra m in part two of Torah and science says out of the entire Torah 34,800 letters when you look for two names to represent these two religions this is the only verse you can find them in when you go to the word vit which means scatter you get the word hey the letter hey which is the second letter of the word you count 50 letters you get to the word which means you and then you get to you count 50 letters you get to the word which means to hear spelling the word Mecca you go backwards you look for something have to do with Christian same word ifs you get the 50 letters you get the Shen and Sh and 50 more letters you go to the same ending word you get the V spelling yes the very same character that's been lying to people in some way or another for the last 2,000 years now I've seen Torah codes before this I've saw Torah codes that have to do with the rambam Torah codes that have to do with AIDS and monkeys and all types of things but this I never saw but to me it was very cool for her it was a sign for her was everything for her was for her was the answer she's been looking for and praying for and when Hashem says when you look for me with all of your heart and all of your soul you'll find me for her she found him and on the spot she took on every single mitah we have in theah everything mody about everything whatever we knew she did we didn't know everything but whatever we knew we did and conversion went very quickly because we've already been learning for a couple of years by that time we started learning specifically for the conversion all types of Miracles started happening and then more interesting things happened [Music] the day of the we made sure that it's the same day of the conversion because we already wanted to get out of the whole sin situation so we wanted to make sure that as soon as she's actually converted we're actually allowed to be together so we want to make sure it's the same day there's only one problem that very same day was a problematic day for me because two days before that I got one of my infections and this one hurt really really bad so I never told this to anyone what I tell you guys today you sound nice so the pain get worse got worse and worse but I'm just so excited about this conversion happening in a couple of days I don't even care just give more painkillers and I'll just get through it somehow I just told the honey most likely instead of going to the wedding in the K that you know my family setting up in 3 days by the way cuz we didn't actually plan on having a whole wedding or anything so instead of going to like a party or ceremony or anything most likely you going have to take me to the emergency room she go no problem honey we've been there before so we go in front of the bedine one of the Dian is laate by an hour and a half so instead of it being a 5 minute questionnaire it ends up being an hour and a half worth of question questions she knows every answer we've been studying very seriously for some time if there was ever any doubt this eliminated it and then they say okay she passes go to the mikve which is a very magical process which anyone that hasn't gone through it you got to do it funny thing is about converts is that a convert that goes through a lot of struggle to actually convert once they feel what happens physically not just uh mentally physically after you convert if it's a real convert they want to do it again but they can't you actually feel something physically it's unbelievable but the the the owner of the store wanted to show me his boss he wanted to show me okay you have some part to to to do with it so let me show you something so as I'm waiting for her to finish mikve I'm thinking about okay which road should I take to the emergency [Music] room now I don't know exactly when she dipped into the mik all I know is that at some point my pain stopped it just [Music] stopped she comes out I'm excited she's excited we go into the car I forget about the pain we call rer Fr he's excited we're excited we're all crying like let's go to the hotel that we supposed to get dressed and celebrate and I go to a hotel and I want to change my clothes and I take off my clothes and I see that my entire body is full of blood the infection blew up on its own and healed if you look for me you'll find me that's what God Said So I took him with his word and from that point on things started getting better little by little my health started getting much better the pain stopped money start didn't stop getting lost we got worse and worse actually until I got to a point where I didn't really care and eventually I realized that the Torah is the only thing I want I still had a little bit of a business left we decided to move away we moved to Florida I decided to do sh organized you know in the beginning I was just doing it on Shabbat for a few people inet after we moved to Florida I decided to start doing a at my house and after the first lecture it was just me and one guy Nissan after the first lecture I find out that my dad's in the hospital he had pneumonia that he was ignoring for a month and a half thinking it will just go away like a cold so he goes to the emergency room and he says listen I heard you doing the sh can you record it and send it to me I said sure I'll record it why not you know let's make ABA happy so I take my iPad and I record record myself giving a this time I had three people Nissan and Daniel today Daniel's in AO fulltime he still wasn't even keeping Shabbat at the time so we have the Shure we record it now I have to send it to Aba how do you send a YouTube how do you send a video I tried emailing it files too big text obviously is even worse so I come up with an idea okay let's put it on YouTube and send him a link so I put it on YouTube I send him a link he likes it he's happy but then a few days later I noticed that other people actually watch this video other than my dad and that's how YouTube started and I started started giving sh I continued working for a little while until hasem said okay your cha is serious you're teaching people to I don't want anything to distract you so this money thing you have left I'm might take that too so at that time we obviously lost 95% of what we had already had a few $100,000 left had a small fund on Tuesday morning I had a few hundred th000 left at 9:30 in the morning at 9:35 I have zero Tuesday by the way happens to be the day of my Shure but at this time I already know whose boss so at 9:36 I say I had the to understand what job said God gave God took made name be blessed I shut off the computer and got ready for my sh and that's what I've been doing ever since living on a mirle every month nothing's missing any questions [Applause] amen amen yes we have one kid and one on the way [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music]