Selichos Farbrengen 5781 | Do You Know How Wealthy You Are?

[Music] [Laughter] [Music] da [Music] coming together it's been a long time last year unfortunately because there was something called corona no we didn't do it we didn't maybe you came i wasn't there so we missed the year but we're back huh kind of still so thank you to be oil it's great to be back two years ago we were here i in tests bce before corona existed that's a good one yes it's a new one it's fresh over the press bce bc the design he knows what to do so thank you for the beautiful nagunam thank you everybody for gracing us with your presence thank you to mendel for the beautiful music thank you mr gilbert for the video and the live stream on the yeshiva.net thank you to bestow for torah anytime and thank you everybody for being i want to thank the show basic nurses er em for bringing us all together for all the arrangements all the preparations the blazer and heather shiner of nook china and everybody else involved and achara and everybody who's here both physically and virtually [Music] to you and to all of your loved ones to all of us but claudia's strong for the whole world yeshua amen you just heard that sing the powerful negan that was composed by the balatanya the altareba you know sometimes you hear a melody and you hear the lyrics and the two they don't always completely get along but sometimes the words the lyrics beg for the melody and the melody and the lyrics were almost conceived in the same moment that's what a real a real [ __ ] is this is one of those in the goonan the words beg the negan and the [ __ ] are completely the [ __ ] completely flows through the words the words are a conduit for the for the melody and this is going to be the chorus you know over the next days what does it mean what are we saying in other words before you say it you would think that we have a lot of kings who biden huh he doesn't know [Laughter] hey the queen of england the king of denmark of thailand is would say as i said alexander zach alexander was the czar of russia powerful man he says alexander zach alexander says i've been friedrich friedrich in germany says i'm the king iqba the koenig and you go through the countries franz josef in austria-hungary says i'm the what does it mean we have no king but you it's much deeper than just saying that hashem is the ruler of the universe that's true it's something much deeper and i'll illustrate it through a story we heard as bakram from a jew who i had the privilege of knowing in his older years his name was mendel futafus [Music] a very wise and clever man i knew him already in the 70s the 80s the 90s he passed away in 95 and he was sentenced to a decade in the gulag in the siberian gulag for slave labor where you may know tens of millions of people died were murdered starvation the cold illness malnutrition torture shot stalin's years stalin's terror years from 1924 when he became the leader of the soviet union after lenin died until his death in march 53 purim with the worst years remendel helped many jews falsify passports after the second world war stalin yamaksha allowed refugees from poland who escaped to russia from hitler after the war he let them leave the soviet union weren't allowed to leave it was the iron curtain coined by winston churchill the iron curtain muscle cabarzo but if you were from poland and you escaped hitler he let you leave after the war so there were many jews who forged passports to make to feign them to make believe they were polish citizens and they left both of my parents as kids left that way with their families mendel was one of those involved in forging these passports his wife left his child left he was on the train going out and they caught him he was separated from his family he was sentenced 10-year slave labor when he came out in the 60s he came out of russia he was in london he was in israel he used to visit new york for tishrei he liked telling stories and he would often tell stories from his years in siberia 10 years in siberia so you have a couple of stories nothing else to do there now who was in siberia it wasn't barbarian gangsters you had intelligent people stalin exiled everybody if you had moyer because if you thought for yourself you ended up in siberia you ended up shot journalists essayists professors thinkers generals military commanders politicians authors novelists actors playwrights you had a lot of people who were very sophisticated they all ended up in siberia so that mendel used to tell stories interesting stories that he endured he experienced so he told the mice once he said that he was in the barrack one of the things that was forbidden to do in the barrack was you weren't allowed to play cards recreation they didn't like was lights out and somebody who violated it you could end up in the tsinoc in the solitary confinement for a couple of weeks or a couple of months which means you were with rats day in day out they would throw in a little food it was horrible if you violated the laws he said one night he's in the barrack he was the only jew there but they had a certain respect for him and suddenly the cards come out and the inmates the russian inmates start having a card game to entertain themselves as they're playing they hear footsteps the warden is coming close sir so right away the cards get hit and everybody is asleep he opens the door remember like in camp we also used to do it but in camp you wouldn't get shot i mean at least most of us depends which camp okay but there was siberia you know i wasn't going camp we also remember after lightsail you have the pillow fights the water fights and the warden smelled something he left the moment he left they got up they took out the cards he came back again [Laughter] he opens the door he says i know that there's a card game here no card game no kind he says nobody's leaving here i'm gonna do a search and we do a search now you have to understand that mendel said there were no bookcases there were no draws there were no lockers it wasn't this ruler but it has lockers with safes and you have connections and protects you you have a key nothing like this existed there were a couple of things that looked like planks of wood that you're supposed to sleep on with a little straw you had clothes of inmates there was no treasure box for it to put away anything so that mendel thought to himself oh of our voice if it's i'm bitter whoever is going to be caught with the cards ah hummus anyway the warden looks and looks and looks hyela de nano there's no cards nothing he's frustrated he searches everywhere no cards no in frustration he leaves slams the door shuts the lights two minutes later the cards come out they continue the game quietly but they get in the game the mendel turns to a man named gregory gregory was the you know he was the master he was the boss of the cover of the of the group of the platoon and he says in russian gregory you have to explain to me the magic what are you what's this power so he says you all tell because you i trust but if you share this information with anybody you're dead mendel says he looks at me and he says you see that fellow he is the best pickpocketer in the whole moscow the best pickpocket when the inspector when the warden comes into the room he takes the cards and he puts it into the inspector's pocket the guy looks everywhere the only place he doesn't look is in his own pockets see look see looks he can't he can't find it as he's about to go out he takes it out of his pockets he leaves and we have the carts and the mendel would look at the bakram and he says everybody is looking for happiness everybody's looking for serenity everybody is looking for meaning everybody's looking for purpose everybody's looking for vacancies everybody's looking for a relationship everybody is looking to be able to get their lives together and to be able to live life to the fullest so there's only one problem everybody's looking in somebody else's pockets nobody thinks that they have to look in their own pocket so that guy would have never imagined that the cards are in his own pocket so you look in other people's pockets he says stop looking in other people's pockets go into your pocket because it's all there in your pocket that's where you're going to find it and the mendel with fabreg with the with the yeshiva and he would explain at length what this means in a person's life the truth is this is our vision it's of art it says in the beginning place where you don't bring alhamdulillah you don't have to do dikka's comments he says so vidiq's come that you only have to do to the place where you bring in comments she says i brought in your comments to you no so why am i checking by you i brought in my comments to me i should check by me you checked by you i checked by me after checking my house you check in your house i check my pockets you check your pockets but it's much easier to look at somebody else's pockets and to check there but a person needs tools how do you even know how to look in your pockets for cards mailer but when you're looking for deeper things where do i find them where do i find them that's what we mean when we say avinu malcano we're not just saying you're the only king we don't have a king besides you we're saying something even deeper and that is ain't la numela inside of me i don't have a melo ella to only you inside of me now that it sounds simple but it's not so simple because what does that really mean inside of me my only melody is utter because the real question is who's the king inside of me everybody has a king inside of them somebody's ruling my life somebody's making decisions for me somebody's ruling my life somebody's a mellic whatever you want to call him or her or it but there's someone ruling my life who is it so here could hear the options raise your hand if it's your mello okay fear uh-huh only you you and me are the only ones okay barack hashem the answer could sway normally they ain't so constrained fear could be a big mallet right as they say how would you live if you had no fear fear could be a strong mallet next social conformity only you and me not you okay they once asked a 106 year old woman what's the advantage of living to 106. she said less peer pressure [Laughter] social conformity could be a mellow next insecurity and security could be a melody you're insecure saying good okay i rest my case laziness addiction is addiction my mother anger resentment jealousy frustration depression that could be a big mallet despondency annoyance despair you know this phantom pain and this phantom vibrations of the phone you know shabbos people here they hear vibration in the middle of muslim they're checking their pants sometimes you don't even know what your mallet is but everyone has everybody got a king everybody has something that they're subservient to somebody calls the shots your spouse your mother-in-law your father-in-law your boss your phone something inside of you something outside of you and sometimes the biggest one is your trauma your trauma calls the shots your stress your anxiety your pain sometimes the abuse still calls the shots i'm still reacting to that place and the melody may not be conscious the melody may be subconscious which only means that he is more powerful because i don't even recognize how powerful he is which means he has all the power because i don't even know that i don't know so here comes a very deep statement deep meditation comes this time of the year you're empowered to be able to go into a deep place in you and you say the melody in me is the divine that's in me the insife that's in me i am ruled by my infinity i am ruled by my encephalus i am ruled by that dimension of me that is not scared that is not insecure that is not resentful that is not traumatized that is not abused that's not depressed that's not despondent not that i don't have all these stuff i have and some of us have them mahadram and i'm a hadrian and [ __ ] my my hope hopefully like says who's going to be my melo who's who's going to be my king who's going to dictate who's going to rule my life otto the helicopter me the part of me that's full of possibility the part of me that's invincible the part of me that's indestructible the part of me that's full of joy full of infinite potential full of creativity in the space of hashem we say every morning in haidu from tehillim in the space of hashem there's confidence and there's joy no who's my melo who's my melo i don't have to be a victim of my circumstances the melody in me is otto then i could look into my own pockets to find the cards if i can open myself up to that truth that there's no force in the world that rules me ella utter besides atta besides a dimension of me that is completely won with oneness the part of me that's completely one with hashem the part of me that is completely aligned with infinity that's my malek and when that becomes my mellah then i'm not a victim then i'm indeed a free person [Music] oh [Music] my [Music] i [Music] [Laughter] [Music] a [Laughter] oh [Music] now [Music] ah [Music] i [Music] ah aha oh [Music] hi [Music] oh [Music] a [Music] hey [Music] sing with us [Music] i am [Music] i [Music] i [Music] foreign [Music] i am [Music] my [Music] no here too the niggin and the words huh similar seamless it's okay you know the greek in the sukkah not greek salad in the sukkah that's fine a greek in the suk so everybody knows the opening of slikhas every day of slickest after ashrae after kaddish dhaka translated in english to you hashem is righteousness talker you're right and to us is shame now if you don't understand these words you could miss the whole point of slickers and you can get into a mode of self-shame self-loathing self-depression and you have a great proof well honorably she's a pudding you're right but where does this come from why'd they start slithers this way so many of the phrases and slickers come from the seyfried o'neill the neoperic test is the source for many of them including this one so the gemara massachusetts gives the story behind this passage the son of rebecca emperor took with him when he ransacked and decimated yerushalayim because they were brilliant and beautiful and and capable and they became the young cover in his palace to run the show but when hadnezha decided to build a huge statue of himself as a god and everybody at the bow down everybody knows this is the safer daniel michelle and azaya refused and they were cast into the kifchan we mentioned at the end of slices but the rest of the jews did bow down so the gemara says when they came out of the kitchen the non-jews came to all the jews the typhoids they went to and they said yes you have such a god and you're bowing down you're bowing down you have such another car this is what you have give a cook what you have and you're selling yourself for this they said so that's a reason to be ashamed so what are we really saying this is what we're starting inside of you you know you are you know you are you're a piece of infiniti but it's selling you think you have to be petty you think you have to be self-loathing you think you have to knock yourself you know who you are yes look how the cockers you shouldn't have inside of you you shouldn't have among you chaos are an alien god a pagan deity an alien god the khatsuki rabbis said was shouldn't be in you you shouldn't have in your way i shouldn't build at salem in in in my kishkes in my church among you he says there inside of you shouldn't be a zodiac shouldn't be a stranger you know when somebody comes to your house you say don't be a stranger it's your home he says turn to god inside of you and say don't be a stranger the kale inside of you shouldn't be a czar you shouldn't be a stranger like we said we say in elena what does it mean to coronate hashem as a king it doesn't only mean to coronate hashem that's true but coronating hashem is even deeper means coronating hashem inside of me that my king is not my addiction not my depression not my trauma my divinity yes there so what am i embarrassed i'm embarrassed from the fact that i'm embarrassed villanu bush is upon him you have another carcass there you don't have to live a small life even the sky is not your limit the london bash is upon them that's what the shame comes from the shame vietnam sometimes i have to do children for the fact that i feel so alien that i feel so disconnected that itself you have to do chuva you can't do truva and the lack of self-esteem through more lack of self-esteem you can't be misakin and aveda with another aveda so the person has to realize who a person is so borough park we were together not looking ago out of shabbos rip shmuel david friedman he wrote this foreign it's not the cliche it's he heard it from him himself he was once with rebhaim christopher crying cries where it was the chief rabbi of antwerp in belgium crime crisis was born in 1920 in galicia they called him the eloy of krakow the genius of kraka he was a student in yeshiva's lebline in poland before the war he was saved ultimately served as chief rabbi of antwerp for decades he passed away 2002 i believe he had an incredible incredible memory incredible mastery of toyota abhaim christopher shared this with mulder he said bef when he was in eastern europe before he managed to flee a jew came over to him one day he was a young man he was around 20 years old 19 years old and he said i am christopher i don't think i'm getting out of here i have no visa i have no papers the transports are soon going to begin i'm not going to get out of here years ago i opened up a swiss bank account and i have been depositing huge amounts of money into that account nobody has access to that account besides me remember this is before the days of credit cards and doing things on your phone says 1940 41 40. i'm giving you all the information to be able to access the bank account and retrieve the money one day if you find a relative of mine male or female a relative of my family please pass on the information to them so they can retrieve all the money it's a huge huge sum of money prime said okay the jew gave him all the information that he had to remember but it wasn't a problem because he knew that goes back off and lost it was fine he could remember the numbers the um fled he made it to safety made that military tesoro ultimately moved to europe years later and years past years past decades past the story was sitting in the back burner of his brain you know life moves on it's close to a quarter of a century later he's standing in his shula in antwerp in antwerp it's after chakras he's rolling up he's folding his towers into film and a jew walks into shul what you would call ah [Music] what's the a collector a beggar they used to say whatever the word is a guy who has a phd in fundraising from harvard university i think it was the best description but the guy comes in he's walking around collecting dog as is the custom in every nice beautiful shoe hashem we have it here in the morning and antwerp is no exception takes a look at this man he's not just asking for money he seems homeless he said he's dressed in rags and he comes over to the love prime cries of it and he asks for an adorable so he takes out some money and he gives it to him he never saw him visit him where you're from he says where i'm from i don't have a place i don't have a home he says how do you how do you live he says i collect money day to day i live day to day what's your name he says the name the name triggers triggers him a light bulb goes off i heard this name it's the name selectum cup it's the name of that jew but of course he's not going to say anything a name is a name you know the yiddish anemone schwarzk yeah it's either schweitz or the vice or decline of the grace either you're black or white or small or big but uh you have to know your dish for that doesn't go in english yeah so a name is a name where you from where were you born who was your father who was your brother what happened to your father he starts asking questions if he told me you know those casual questions and his suspicions are getting stronger that you know there was the old game hot and cold you know it's getting hot it's getting hot how long how long are you an antwerp it's just two weeks he said okay come really breakfast by me come back tomorrow in the meantime he starts investigations and he researches here researchers there after a few days of talking to this fellow he reaches the conclusive moscone conclusion that he's not only a relative he's a child he's a son of the man who was killed in the holocaust he's his boy and after he reaches this conclusion after a good kid and a good investigation the next morning after chakras he calls him over he says on the dover the guy says on the dover he says i'll give you more than on the dover i would like to let you know something he says what would you like to let me know i'd like to let you know that you're not a poor man you're actually a very very wealthy man head of tribe don't mock me don't don't be sinister don't make fun of me he says i'm not i'm not mocking you you are an extremely affluent wealthy jew in fact you're a multi-millionaire he says that but look at me i don't know where dinner is coming from i don't have a place to call my own i don't have uh a jacket i don't have a pair of pants that's not torn with a hundred patches she says let me tell you the story and he tells him the story and he says here we're in belgium i want you to take the next train go to switzerland go to this in this bank here is the information he writes down all the information that he remembered from this droop and go retrieve your money and kakhov the jew went and within a few days he was indeed he knew that he was wealthy he says and at that moment i realized something i have been standing in front of me a drew who's a multi-millionaire but in his own mind he's a poverty stricken impoverished homeless beggar and i thought to myself how true is this about so many of us how true is it i look in the mirror and the way i i don't mean necessarily the physical miracle be a psychological mirror and the way i feel myself about myself is i'm impoverished i'm filled with problems i'm filled with stress i'm filled with disappointment i'm filled with anxiety and i have good reasons for it just like that drew he had good reasons he wasn't a delusional person he was an honest person he had nothing he was just unaware of what he had of what he had in israel he was unaware and it's about awareness the balshemptev said gallus is a state of awareness gullah is a state of awareness the gomorrah says in the darwin oni ella bideya poverty and wealth is also a state of consciousness zavert from the yachts he said a very powerful vert he said what's the difference at the end of the day between a rich person and a poor person he says let's think about it yeah once in a while a rich person encounters a difficult time no question every every successful rich affluent mental person there are difficult moments if you say do you have a cash flow now he says no no no no no no you know everything is investment and i don't know the future and three people are schlepping him to court right so if you ask him right now you know what can he put on the table yeah garnish goodness he got no right now he got nothing you know he doesn't know tomorrow they may take away you know nine of the houses they may close down three of the businesses you know somebody may win 20 million dollars from it right now it's a tight situation right but he's a wealthy man then the rebbe says now take a poor person but he was here in china's shoal for a week yeah was it given and the island was cyrus and in his pocket yeah how does that thousand dollar yes six thousand dollars so actually the poor man he's talking poor man but right now he's got a nice sum of money in his pocket but he's called what is he called a poor person she says what's shot the wealthy guy got nothing at the moment and he may lose everything tomorrow but he's a rich person the other guy is rather full with cash and in the pillowcase there's much more but he's a poor person he says why he says the question is what's the baseline what's the hanok a rich person today he may not have anything he looks at himself either who am i i'm a rich person today i'm struggling but i'm a rich person the poor person what's the baseline the baseline is i'm broke i got nothing i'm poor it happens to me that today i'm doing well it happens to me but mama purpose so it doesn't always have to do with how much it's how you see who you are says the eight sahara wants you to feel like a poor person that should be the baseline the question is how i see myself essentially it's not a forever i don't have every person has moments of struggle every person has moments that you have to deal with different things that are difficult no question but what's the baseline what's the essence what's the mohus there's two perspectives one perspective is i'm essentially broke i'm essentially broke from the word broken i'm essentially broken i'm damaged goods that's the baseline javier ate so harder from here to china i have fears from here to new zealand i have insecurities from here to uh the congos and i have trauma from here to wu on which is actually uh you all do right yeah the whole world wu won a maison meduan huh that's afghanistan yeah but the baseline of a rich person is i'm an aristocrat evid the gomorrah says zion the servant of a king is a king because if he's a real evident malek he's an extension of the mallard you're an extension of the melak the baseline is one of wealth one of aristocracy one of nobility one of dignity another perspective is the paradigm the foundation is i'm never i'm impoverished i have today today is just today is mazel but essentially you all know i'm poor i remain poor when do you change that when do you make that shift that shift has nothing to do with circumstances the shift has to do with a very deep deep self evaluation that sometimes is deeper than my conscious that's velano bush's upon him how could you call yourself so poor so if i'm crying said he learned that one of the greatest lessons of life and that's this time of the year is this lesson that a person becomes aware of how much richness you have how much beauty you have how much holiness you have how much goodness you have how much godliness flows through you you're an infinite expression of cosmic oneness you're an infinite expression of cosmic love you're a divine ambassador in this world a manifestation of ain't safe of love light hope healing authenticity wisdom redemption ghoul the consciousness that's who you are okay somebody the it's hard is slapping me to court okay this one is slapping me i have to deal with it but who am i essentially you're not broken that changes everything when you could see yourself that way and then you could see others that way because when i could see myself that way i could see others that way especially i could see my children that way and i could see every person i come in to encounter that way i am [Music] m [Music] foreign is [Music] i know [Music] volcano [Music] is [Music] [Laughter] [Music] you [Music] foreign [Music] foreign [Music] come [Music] a [Music] right [Music] i [Music] ah [Music] foreign [Music] foreign [Music] one of the very powerful sukim that we say on rosh hashanah from the navi yermia and the music of rosh hashanah everybody knows is habane yakili ephraim imyele [Music] which basically is saying how precious my child is to me yakir how precious yellow he's the child spilts of english yellow it's a child who's just very presence causes me so much delight shashuyam is a combination of excitement and serenity and tranquility and ecstasy the ayatollah it's something that just brings so much soulfulness and vitality and symmetra to my life that's this child yelach hashem you know that child there's no toy in the sense of there's nothing as precious nothing as fun nothing as exciting in life as just being with this child you remember that child yeah that two-year-old the three-year-old the four-year-old cute should be cute it's like a malachal you know can't do wrong right the new couch is filled with ice cream carpet is saturated with orange juice yeah the four cases of wine are all over you know we're supposed to look for comet they're all over the place but yeah you know yeah kimi de dabri boy and the more you talk about him zacharesque the more you want to talk about the more memories come up and therefore hashem says may i my intestines are stirred whenever i talk about this child because i will forever love him it's very very powerful words of jeremiah navi he was the prophet of corbyn because i'll say hear me here comes the word mar miros but the prophet of herben was saying is saying never detach it from the context of a relationship jewish people go through a lot of stages but it's always in the context of yellow cha's but i think this is also a paradigm for each and every one of us in recent times many of us are struggling with children both with their own children and with nephews and nieces and grandchildren and neighbors children and friends children and also i would say with the inner child inside of me inside of you rosh hashanah comes and we say haben yakiri afraid yet can you look at that child and always remembers yellow never allow the pain of disappointment to take you away from a deeper truth this is yellow and just like when he was two or three or she was three or four years old you didn't only love them you were all so proud of them you remember you were proud of them you took the first step and you were so proud he turned over you remember he turned over you were like wow pictures went all over the place can you still look at this boy at 16 years old he's tucker bigger than you stronger than you right and still see yeller chashu not just love for sure but to be able to be proud to be able to be proud you'll say what what should i be proud of disappointment after disappointment after disappointment learn from hashem nate sam we said today's halftime right before this hashanah the end of the after yashaya samaj doesn't only say i like him i boast i brag we spoil what we call proud nakas offensive you say where do i see it cleanse your eyes cleanse your heart cleanse your lenses i have to cleanse my lenses tune in to this soul and you'll see so much to be proud of i promise you i could swear to you but for this i have to become a little more divine and a little less egotistical a little less base living by social pressure and a little more asking not what my child can do for me but what i can do for my child not even what god can do for me but what i can do for god and for his children so i want to bless us all that this era of slickest and rosh hashanah says we should all be able to tune in to our children i want to bless everybody who's here many of you who i know quite well and personally that it should be a year of tremendous connection with your children and those who are struggling with it the urbanization should give you the kayak that you need to be able to be present to be able to remain with a heart always open and never closed a heart fully open and never plugged some of you in the last few years especially since corona have been through the ringer with your children this corona besides everything else for the children it created a special special stress we all know a lot of addiction a lot of depression a lot of screen stuff i don't have to elaborate everybody knows with their own families and communities very few people came out unscathed very few even adults i see how much people are on the phone two years ago not everybody was on the phone the whole night but here i see i understand corona some of you are even watching me on your phone but i'm here you don't have to look at the phone i'm here you don't have to look at the clip look at the original you see my self-confidence they're on the phone i think they're watching me like huh videoing but he has to be videoing the floor because i see him looking down but thank you for the limousines i'm not talking about you looking about that section very few people came unscathed this is a time to open our hearts and this is dedicated this time is dedicated to pray for our children to be here for our children and it always happens if you're here for your own child your own everybody has a child everybody has a child that didn't grow up yet barack hashem and if you could protect and nurture that child you could be here for your children you know this morning we did an exercise we did an exercise this morning in our class in lakota torah dr ebba says that a jew has to imagine that hashem is his best friend in the world his most authentic friend is hashem that's what although he says every jew needs to understand and appreciate so i told her i'm asking you to do an exercise after shop is writing on a piece of paper how you would define a best friend if i came to you and i said i want to be your best friend give me the qualifications what do you need for me put it down what what is it that you want from a best friend that's what you have to understand hashem is but i want to add one more thing and that is your child is not your best friend you need other best friends but you need to be your child's best friend don't turn to your child to be your best friend it's not fit it's too much pressure it's enough that he has me as a father as often as i'm my best friend you don't need your children's approval but they need your approval some parents look to their children for approval i need you to like me i need you because i'm lis i'm missing something i have such a void i need everybody to love me especially my children it's too much pressure god loves you love yourself work it out with your spouse that's not your child's job but my job is to love them my job is to be able to be for them that friend and remember we learn about hashem through our parents that's just how it is sometimes it's unfortunate but our father becomes a model for god our mother becomes a model for the shrine and if there was a lot of dysfunction that's our relationship with god then we have to work on it says and we say it now every day so this is the time when i ask myself can i experience that yellow show you now it's hard because just pain when your neighbor's child comes over shabbos you're fine you could chill with him because it's not you it's your nephew it's your cousin it's the neighbor but when it's your own yeah he was supposed to be the bequeather i think it's about huh right so this my nephew my nephew my cousin fine he's a nice kid you know but but he was supposed to be based so it's not easy especially if it's much further than that so i bless me i bless all of you we should be able to experience this should be able to open our hearts to this to this flyer um [Music] there's uh favorite child what does the devel do is [Music] in ukraine you started it before luhe [Music] it's very very deep naked [Music] sure everybody [Music] me [Music] me [Music] oh [Music] everybody me [Music] love [Music] oh [Music] is [Music] my [Laughter] [Music] talking about your children yeah [Music] so [Music] here [Applause] [Music] hey [Music] boy [Music] me the way [Music] so [Music] foreign [Music] oh [Music] m [Music] foreign oh [Music] you should know that no therapist in the world no no therapist in the world can do for your child what you can do for your child people want to send their children to professionals which is sometimes very important but nobody can do what tati and mommy can do so it's easy to detach but it's not really easy to detach because all the pain of all disappointment pales in comparison to the pain of cutting off your own soul from yourself so i was dominating in one of the tents here a few days ago it was an early morning minion and there was somebody standing near me and after davening we were both rolling up our tv he actually also has a swiss bank account but he knows it he knew it and i guess he got a message on the phone i don't know what he tells me hindi kakin there he tells me today's kids you know when those conversations start huh today's kids i said what about today's kids so he tells me he says rabbi jacobs i would never do anything to disappoint my parents they were holocaust survivors my mother was a survivor my father was a survivor even if i didn't want to i wouldn't even think of doing something that would cause aggravation to my parents because i told myself how could i they went through shiva maduriga and they went through purgatory after program and they lost so much they lost everything where do i have the chutzpah and the arrogance and the heartlessness to cause them pain there was no such a concept just knowing that something is not what my parents want i wouldn't do it he says today today doesn't exist anymore it doesn't exist and he was waxing nostalgic about the good old days right you know the good old days [Music] that's it your will is my command and if not no okay by you as patch i don't know about you but whatever by him he said it wasn't even patch they were holocaust survivors the guilt hitler you're gonna help hitler you couldn't i said i couldn't and today he says my kid knows i want something he does the opposite it's almost like a half a mitzvah this was the conversation after chakras i heard what he said i understood it but i'm not sure i completely agree with it and i'll tell you something that is you know the first time i saw it i uh i was taken aback the choice of lublin writes the choice of the seer of lublin was one of the great hasidic masters of his day he passed away tish above tough coffin hey 1814. who was a brother of the rabbit of malek they were two brothers both became students of the market of misreach of a nepali is buried in an nepali in ukraine near the market near his rabbit abduv so the choices says i heard this from the position himself so this is not [Music] he was still alive he heard it from the position what did he hear from an observation he was an extraordinary person his humility it was well known a lot of stories about him that are still repeated but here's what he heard from the observation listen to this the mishnah says at the end of massachusetts so rashid says right before meshiach comes at the end of ghalos mashita means the end like the heel the you know the the the acre of shabby regal the soul which either means the footsteps you can hear the footsteps of mashiach it means the end of galas different interpretations but right before the gola chutzpah will prosper will blossom and then he goes through a lot of other symonam things that will happen one of them a famous one is the yerey hate which means it will be a time when people will despise those who dread sin ye hate people who are afraid who dread sin will be despised so how does everybody learn the mishna this is the horrible time of the messiah used to be you looked at somebody who dreaded sin and you looked up you respected it and now you must they'll be despised says the heiser shamathi made absursha they're going to despise those who dread sin because everybody is going to be looking for a relationship of love and therefore when they see a relationship that's only based on fear and dread it's going to be something that's not going to talk to them because before meshiach they need to feel a wholesome internal relationship that's full of aav that's going to be the yiday haitima yamas now what does this mean what was the brushes saying zusha knew here is a mitzvah in fact he was learning with the balatanya the first mission in brachus to be done from america from or if anybody understood that it was him but there's two types of year there's a year which is about dread i'm afraid you're bigger than me you're stronger than me if i don't do what you want you're going to beat me up you're going to punish me if that's stopping a person from sin fine here is significant what absorption was saying is going to come a time people are gonna long for a relationship that is completely internal authentic and that type of fear is a very different type of fear it's a fear that comes from love it's in the context of love i fear ruining such a beautiful relationship when you have such an amazing friendship oh yeah i'm afraid to destroy it i'm not gonna do anything it's too good you know somebody has an amazing marriage an amazing marriage not if i if i if if i xyz my wife won't cook supper she won't do the laundry and there'll be other penalties that will follow listen if that's what you need you know okay but uh that's not what we look forward so this is the yiddish kite in galos and there's the yiddish kite of gaula the yiddish guide of golos tyrosa galas is subjugation that's the paradigm and it shouldn't be underestimated because at certain times it's very powerful it gets you moving gets you out of bed gets you doing the right thing keeps you away from the wrong things but as you're going into gula right what does the navi say in aishaya hayaba mahuli tikruli that day you're not going to call me my your master you're going to call me your husband my husband you're going to call me my husband hashem says i'm not going to be your bow in other words the relationship will be oneness so the year is part of ava i'm afraid to ruin such an amazing relationship so i was thinking maybe when the child this father looks at his child and he says why don't you just know that this is what i want and therefore this is what you should be doing he wants his child to perpetuate terrorists he wants his child to say i'm not into it i don't even i'm not even sure i believe in it but tati needs nakas and tati is a good guy let's face it right and mommy is even better so i'm going to disappoint i'm going to have mommy crying by looks and then an extra 45 minutes and i know it's all about me right i'm gonna have tati right in a bad mood by the shabbos table and it's all because of me so i want my kids to respond to that the absurdishes said sorry your kids are looking for goola they're looking for ghoula you disguise not forgosia disguise they need to be on fire hate yemasu they despise those who dread sin because god is big and strong they need ain't safe they want intimacy with ain't safe they need to know that they're infinite they need to know that they are hashem's manifestation in this world they need to know that even if they have trauma they are not trauma they are divine ambassadors the divine is not traumatized they were sent into these places in order to transform darkness into light that's what they need to know that you can't know by copying me that you have to know from within your own deepest place i can model it i can breathe it i can be here for you i can live it i could communicate on that level but you can't copy me that's ikves mashita so it's an amazing opportunity it's an amazing opportunity whenever your child is challenging the system don't get upset see it as a blessing because they're bringing to the four things that we're not ready to look at they're bringing to the four things that are dysfunctional and we put it under the rug we want everybody to be quiet so the sensitive souls say we can't be quiet when we see stupidity hypocrisy dysfunction superficiality um dread superficialness hollowness lies externalities skin-deep religion we're allergic to it and when you see that allergic reaction it's an opportunity for tremendous growth it's painful but it's an opportunity for tremendous growth and that itself is yellow that's something to be proud of so in this transformation of claudius from a gulles consciousness to a googler consciousness that eben abzusha says people need a very real deep amazing incredible relationship with themselves with their spouses with their families with their friends and the key of all with hashem we're not used to this language we're not used to this language you know just put one foot against another foot it slices show up stand near me yeah and scream at the right words inviting but is oneness means there's no separation absolutely we don't today look at the third in a state of realness there's all one consciousness and that's the consciousness of oneness within soif and there's no separation kipper all of it it's that moment of actors of the deepest actors so that's what the kaiser heard from the repertoire i thought it was incredible what's up how he turns it around just like the altitude says about parishes kisaway he says binister niglets clawless baniste but maybe hudson also means something much deeper and that is there's no way there's no uh you're not limited to transcend the fears that i have to stay stuck that sometimes takes a lot of good spa different types of foot spill so we therefore we're all challenged to cultivate a deeper yiddish guide in ourselves it doesn't begin with our kids it begins with ourselves they're gonna teach us they are teaching us to become much more real much more authentic so instead of pointing fingers that way it's good to go into my own pockets and this doesn't mean this doesn't mean that there's no deep pain this doesn't mean there's no grief sometimes you have to grieve there's disappointment there's pain but instead of closing your heart open your heart because there's a lot of truth that's going to come out of this a lot a lot of truth it's already coming out a lot of authenticity every crisis is an opportunity and every challenge can open us up to a much deeper level of reality to a much deeper level of truth of awareness before gullah says in daniel he is going to be clarity which means all toxicity has to be ejected has to be extricated from the system and that's what's happening now trauma toxicity anxiety it's it's coming to the top it's coming to the surface it's floating you can get overwhelmed and startled or you could take a deep breath if you need take a few deep breaths in the summer from the shima and realize that this is a tremendous opportunity and really a blessing to be able to cleanse ourselves from two thousand years of deep trauma sitting in our genes and in our bodies so that we can open ourselves up to the complete infinite divine consciousness cleanse the doors of our visceral perception and experience reality as is which is enorder the complete ecstasy of oneness with no separation where love and awe are meshed into one we're so close that i'm very afraid to become far or to put it in different words when you know how much you're loved it's pretty scary if you don't think you're really loved it's not so scary but when you know how much somebody loves you you know how deep you are you know how much you mean to me it gets scary you know if you don't if you think i'm fine you will meet with when you realize how much you mean to me it's scary it means it's not a game it means i can't just you know not show up for a month it's it's too it's too powerful that's scary but that's good scary that's that's healthy that's healthy fear it's scary to realize your sick the significance the power the kayak the infinity of a person has poll every creature every worm every bee every mosquito every cell every atom every neuron every genome every plant every tree every leaf the the cold pole call pole the galaxies and the black holes and the planets the smallest to the biggest will be speak will openly manifest the oneness the full vegas so i don't want any more the separateness i can't deal with hashem who's like detached and above and and powerful and scary listen if it's going to prevent me from doing bad things fine here is just fine but as a as a paradigm for hinok whatever stops a person from doing an aveda is good you know paul you have to remember that no question but as a paradigm what's the paradigm if you're going to speak the language that all there is to this is fear of gahannam and looking forward to gannadan abzusha says it's not going to talk to them they're going to say this guide give me vacas give me love give me oneness that's what i see happening you see it yes huh i see it in you too i see it in you too now there shouldn't be misconstrued the is very very deep we have to be humble and we have to open ourselves up to the beaconing but sometimes there's a lot of stuff stuck in me and i don't even know it's i can't even think this way and even if i think this way it's cerebral but i can't feel it in my gut and if you don't feel it in your gut it's worthless because you know we're brainy people but it doesn't work that way because my reactions come from my gut from my primal middles zaba tikka vitalia the middles are rooted in the deepest places so the goof is holding a lot these days the body it's all in the stud what do they say the body keeps the score so therefore a person we say hana sham allah not only the soul is holy the body is holy the goof is holy the body in a way carries the secrets of the divine more than the saul kailash shem tells avram whatever sarah tells you listen to her the sawyer says avraham is the neshama and sora is the body the kof you have to listen to the ghost house what soros says if to listen to you to surrey you have to listen to your wife too but alpinister because the guff carries the absolute etzem atsmos which is beyond spiritual manifestation it's the core and that's manifested in the physical body which which knows the truth that's why today cutting edge healing and psychologies in the goof used to be in conversation psychoanalysis you sit on the couch yeah and we analyze you for 25 years and then you come out absolutely more awareness conversations conversations conversations today they know conversation you take all the conversations and put it in a book the ikea is the guff it's jordan it's it's a fascinating thing we see today that's where the cutting edge um help is so we say understood [Music] jose [Music] oh [Music] oh [Music] oh [Music] paulo [Music] oh [Music] oh [Music] oh [Music] foreign [Music] [Laughter] [Music] yes [Music] oh [Music] foreign [Music] foreign [Music] you know i just uh i say this every year before slithers i think it's always worth saying it because it has an impact sometimes even on one person you know we live we speak a lot about actos and ava's historian the truth is that today you know the jewish people are united in many ways and people are here for each other and there's tremendous amount of kindness and generosity but many of us unfortunately in our own families there's a lot of feuds brothers don't speak to brothers sometimes sisters don't speak to sisters a brother-in-law and a sister-in-law you don't speak to your mother your father your children your grandchildren your uncle your aunt your partner your employer your employee it's usually a money issue or some other misunderstanding in the family and sometimes it goes for 10 20 years and everybody suffers especially the next generation they don't know their cousins you can't go to bar mitzvahs you can't go to hasanus to disaster and the fact is that most people if they would realize i don't have to be dominated by my fears and my insecurities would be able to be much happier so suggest to everybody if there's somebody you don't speak to i don't mean because you know you just you haven't met them if there's somebody you don't speak to you can look at them you can't talk to them you can't you have to cross the street especially family this is the time give them a call tomorrow morning not a text make an appointment you can meet in a coffee shop if there's somewhere in another country you could do it by phone apologize say i'm sorry make amends say but i was i was right okay i know you were right i know you were right your mother-in-law knows you were right your bonus allylum knows you were right real people know how to say i'm sorry fake people don't know how to say i'm sorry because their self-confidence is so skinned deep if i say i'm sorry it's like suicide but if you're a mensch if hashem is your malek you're divine so you say i'm sorry you're not going to destroy yourself on the contrary you'll become a godly person so i encourage all of us all of you somebody in your family somebody in i'm not talking about a situation where there's active abuse going on and you have to stand up to justice i'm talking about most situations where you may have been right five years ago two years ago twenty years ago may commence shiite is waiting to come and when we're united we become an impenetrable fortress when we're fragmented there's holes everywhere and a lot of toxicity comes in this you need the godless you need the godless a time of elder to be able to transcend the need to be right and instead of instead cultivate the need to be happy and wholesome i don't want to be right anymore i used to like to be right now i want to be happy much better much better to be right and to be happy [Music] i [Music] oh [Music] da [Music] i [Music] i [Music] okay [Music] okay [Music] [Applause] okay [Music] is [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] a [Music] okay [Music] is [Music] is [Music] [Applause] [Music] okay [Music] is [Music] yeah literally it means renew our days what's kekkadam so what reference point do we have what do we know about what's he having before corona he's great again [Music] is something very deep inside it's the core of my eye before before any abuse before any trauma before any betrayal before i was betrayed when i was full of trust when i felt completely protected when i felt that my core was safe there's three and a half people who still feel that way but for the rest of us because that's where kiddush comes down that's where creativity comes from creativity comes from when i'm not inhibited creativity comes when i'm a channel for hashem's infinity the only way i could be a channel is if i'm not stuck you know like a seifer if there's a blockage in the shower that's what some of our lives sound like harim khashoggi for keller so the maggot says to be like a shayfer let hashems on rosh hashanah hashem blew represented by each of us is supposed to be that chauffeur the first the conduit for the for the infinity and then there's khadij creativity so i want to go back at them because that place still exists that place in you of full trust still exists try believe in it and you'll see it exist it still exists it takes guts to believe it because survival skills tell me no no it doesn't exist anymore it still exists so it's a very very deep it's very very deep experience when you say hadith go into that space try to breathe into that space and then all your reactions will be different because you're going to be in touch with the kekkadam and a lot of creativity comes from there is when the last time you heard that word shepherdish so let me conclude with the story [Music] remember you'll give me a little music in the background [Music] it's a beautiful energy in the room huh you're gonna leave us only physically but not emotionally well for that's the i'm a vacation it's a fight overnight but you don't leave you spread out the love nobody ever leaves for us though you just expand right we don't digress we extrapolate [Music] the way you're not supposed to know what that but we'll we'll means about it so here's a story [Music] it was a yeed i remember reading this name was almond brunchtime [Music] he had some of his voice it was a cousin he was a russian jew he made it out he was in the russian army during the second world war and you probably know that russia had the most casualties in the war how many soldiers were killed millions and millions very few came back because they were the germans destroyed russia just russia is so big so they keep on retreating so you could never really defeat russia because it doesn't end napoleon schwein hitler's right there you know 11 time zones they got 11 time zones those guys he survived came territorial and he was the cousin of the main schooling fight he was the cows until his death he had something special about his voice he would sing khalid every year in show and his call nigeria people told me you were there onion kipper it was you know the walls were singing along the walls were singing along [Music] why did kony dream mode him so deeply so he was he would tell the story of zalman branstad he was under on the front the front of russia against germany during the second world war his comrades his colleagues were falling like flies there were not hundreds of deaths if there's not thousands of deaths i think around 10 million russian soldiers got killed astronomical numbers beyond the germans the british the americans they were slaughtered and one day one day in the middle of the war zaman went into the bunker he goes into the bunker on the front and this was the bunker of the soldiers of the foot soldiers and in comes in a general a general in the russian army instead of going into the generals bunker he went into the porsche dimension to the lay soldiers to the foot soldiers bunker he came into shave he's been days in the wilderness and he came for a shave as he's shaving he's singing to himself a russian lullaby a russian voltaire russian russian ballad and absalmon who was our blessed voice and knew the songs felt he's not doing it right [Music] so even though he was a general in a general you have to respect but he could say he couldn't like yeah we all are philosophic right he couldn't deal with the forgery of the [ __ ] so he starts singing himself he couldn't go over to say he's singing it wrong he can end up you know in his own siberia but he started to sing it right the general hears her voice and he looks at me says with such a voice what are you doing here you have to be the solo in the red army's choir the red army that reitermei had a choir that was renowned and during war time they went from platoon to platoon to revive you have to be the solo come with me zalman said it saved my life he plucked me out of the of the front lines where everybody was being killed few survivors and he put me into the red army's choir it was a whole different job i was traveling one part of the army another part of the army and i became very active very successful they loved me my voice my talent burnslam gave me a gift he says one day one day they told me that in a little while there's gonna be a huge performance it's gonna be the top performance of the red army all the top echelons of the army are going to be present especially 300 physicians and doctors this is something special i should start preparing [Music] he says i look at my calendar that he had his makeshift calendar and i see it's going to be him kipper okay i'm gonna go sing the ukrainian russian songs i have to travel use a mic i can't do it musical instruments but to say i'm not doing it you could send me back to the front lines [Music] he's struggling doesn't know what to do comes there comes him kipper braunstein it's time to go couldn't get himself to go he says [Music] my voice my voice i don't know what happened some bacteria some virus entered my throat and it's been hazarded because we would say i'm hoarse i can't sing [Laughter] i'm not the boss of my body that's okay listen if you're horse you have to protect your voice because we need it of course he gets off [Music] he's in his room kipper no sidden or max nominee no garnish but he remembers phyllis he remembers so he's sitting in his in his little room over there and he's singing the kippers connie dre [Music] your name as he's in the middle of his young kipper reflections a lot of tears in his eyes no family no community dark years of the second world war there's a knock on his door he opens the door three generals i don't know if you ever saw russian general they love to decorate themselves you ever see them yeah like nobody else they decorate themselves they walk around they're very proud a lot of national pride over there in and they say brunch stain we know why you didn't go to we know why you didn't go sink today your voice is as hoarse as our voice [Music] today so first you know he's like brunch dane don't sell us i wanted to say the brooklyn bridge with moscow they didn't have the brooklyn bridge for whatever reason [Music] don't sell us the moscow opera april we know why you didn't sing we want colney today he says if i get up here and sing call me today and the people hear my voice you know what's going to happen to me so why would you do this to me they said brunchten behind here there's a forest that doesn't end we'll go deep into the forest the trees are so tall even your colony today the trees will hear but here they won't hear it okay he he said it was surreal he three communist generals decorated a walking game kipper into the depths of a russian forest they're walking and walking because they have to be completely remote from civilization they walked for a long time the general set here it's safe nobody's going to hear start calling and salman braunstein who had a heavenly voice begins and in his imagination he's back in his school with his wife with his children with his community with his love with his friends singing [Music] i [Music] call it today [Music] and abhisalman says it was a committee that he never had [Music] because it was all inside there was no there was no fanfare there were no seats there was no hashem the forest which didn't end and three russian generals that had no connection to judaism whatsoever but it was so authentic it was so deep he said he finished the first culinary dre before he was ready to go to the second he opened his eyes and he took a look and he sees three huge muscular powerful tall well-built robust generals sobbing like babies because he just brought them back to a world that seemingly was gone forever that world of their youth that they gave up for the bolshevik paradise of lenin trotsky and stalin [Music] he was sobbing [Music] they said they did a second time a third time and then they wanted him to go through all the songs which they did in the forest till they came home and he said every year when he gets up and show comedies [Music] but he's back in the forest with three generals who have no strings attached to anything they're not trying to get their kids into seminary into this school that school they're not on lists they're in a forest but they're connected that's where i go to that's what that's why my code is sounds the way it sounds but i thought to myself you know isn't this such a powerful tool for all of us because even when i'm in shul and there's hundreds of people or dozens of people but in a certain place i'm in a forest i'm in a forest with three little creatures of big creatures inside of me that are often alienated but at that moment i could let go of everything let go of expectations and let go of disappointments [Music] let go of particular dreams and ambitions that are making me frustrated because they weren't materialized and let your soul just go to your kid where all the vows meaning all the promises we make to ourselves i can't i can't i can't i'm not louder i'm unworthy i can't be loved i can't love i can't be present i can't have the most incredible relationships with me with my loved ones with my children with my god all those promises are nullified in [Music] [Applause] [Music] and you know you remember it was just a few days ago two weeks ago the seventh of ello august 15th a day camp in canarsie goes on a trip to the canarsie park they're playing at the beach near the belt parkway you know that beach the bus comes to bring the kids back home but one boy doesn't show up joseph shapiro six-year-old kid [Music] thousands of jews come together police are called they started searching two and a half weeks ago how was the boy found so i was listening to the interview with the man who found him victor shine shannon who lives next narsi [Music] he said i was exhausted i had a long day but then i thought for a moment if it would have been my grandson i would want every jew in america to stop what they're doing and start searching she said i put on a long white shirt so i would be recognized nighttime i took my car and they were sending people out to search but i didn't want i just i'm going myself and went himself to that section it was already getting dark and he searched he found the dirty searching and searching he found nothing he was so tired decided he tried he's gonna go back home then he said he saw a dirt road and he got out and he's walking down the dirt road close to the beach you could see the beach and he's thinking if i was six years old what would i respond to talk about attachment what would i respond to if i was six years old so he's like joseph joseph i have pizza and ice cream some of us who are not six also respond to that that ms ah you ever see when they serve here pizza and ice cream even the non-six-year-olds this girl's behaving abyss the best of it they'll turn up i have pizza and ice cream pizza and ice cream he's walking back and forth and then victor started to cry he said and i heard two words tata and then it stopped because i thought you know maybe you want to imagine something and you imagine it but but i knew i heard it he said i heard tata but that was it and he called the chief the chief police officer he had his number he didn't answer he called him again and again he picked up and he told him what happened 15 minutes later they were there and they found the boy he fell asleep actually right near the beach they found the boy and he actually when they were dancing remember they were dancing and he actually went home nobody even knew it was him but the police said the police told me without you you're with a man [Music] and i thought to myself doesn't that capture the essence of elo slithers shashana says the balsamic said why do we blow shauper why can you talk he says the prince was sent away from the palace in order to go see what the world looks like so he could be a real king but he gets entangled in peasant-like life and he becomes so alienated he squanders his money he becomes an addict about something says and he even forgets the language in which he grew up in one day he remembers his father he comes back to the palace but he can't speak the language so with sign language he's like i'm the prince so that he's cuckoo so they beat him up because he's an intruder he's a danger they beat him up so what is he supposed to do he doesn't know the language the washington says only one thing he can do i can ah the father will hear the voice he says that's the shofar i forget sometimes the language i don't have the language but to cry i could cry and that's enough that's enough you don't need more those two words were enough to save the child you don't have to be sophisticated i don't have to have it all worked out i just have to get up and say [Music] abba just the voice the voice the outcry the sincerity i don't have to have it all figured out the boy said [Music] that's the authenticity that's the sincerity [Music] um [Music] so after the [ __ ] of the annie a few minions in this tent and he's going to lead his world famous heartfelt slickers in babith 230 viola after this and here the los angeles corn has a minion also 10 aleph as a minion and yoily is a bob of 230 viola [Music] a is [Music] is [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] hey [Music] [Applause] [Music] oh [Music] [Applause] [Music] is [Music] everybody