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Shaar HaBitachon Lesson 15 with Rabbi Shais Taub
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Text-based class on the classic Shaar HaBitachon (Gate of Trust) from Rabenu Bachaye's Chovos HaLevavos.
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Auto-generated transcript. Not time-synced to the video.
so I wanted to I got a I got a an email
I haven't done questions and answers in
a while but I got an email last night
after the shear and I wanted to respond
to it it's actually somebody who is
usually on live so I feel you know they
get priority if you're part of the live
group so we fast track your your
questions so it was so would you say I'm
reading now the email so would you say
that theoretically Hashem will give good
no matter what but practically we mess
it up for ourselves when we don't act on
the Torah mitzvahs which are for our
benefit and that puts us at odds with
our supposing to talking thanks for this
series greatly appreciated wanted to
learn shadow but talking for the longest
time and this gave me the impetus yeah
so I'll ask I'll answer the I'll address
the first thing second and the second
thing first so thank you for coming to
the class and giving me an impetus to go
through shot of a talking again
definitely this learning in this format
and in this forum is a whole new level
for me and has really added to my
appreciation of the of the safer so
regarding this question I'm not sure
exactly that I would formulate it that
way because you say theoretically I
shall give no matter what but
practically we mess it up for ourselves
i I don't want to agree with that
formulation because that it implies that
there's no situation where we're hash em
won't give
mercifully if if we don't do what he
says and the truth is that he does he
does give mercifully so if you if you if
you phrase it us theoretically and
practically then basically what you're
saying is practically there's no such
case where Hashem is giving good to
those who are unworthy and practically
speaking we know there there is such a
case there are constant cases and so I
wouldn't formulate it that way I would
the way that I would put it and it's a
difficult concept to to grasp so I spoke
about it last night but it's difficult
so I I'm gonna repeat myself what I said
last night this is or maybe saying a
little bit different words but the same
thing that we said last night there's no
such thing as claiming to really trust
in a Shem and then not obeying his will
for you it's not that well if you don't
obey his will for you then therefore
he's gonna punish you by not being nice
to you no that's not the formulation the
formulation is like this when you have
trust in a Shem that he's going to do
good for you nothing can stop that
nothing can stand in the way of be
talking to the extent like they'd ever
mentioned that Kassar Shem Tov where the
Baal Shem Tov says when somebody is high
in phony actually is has a punishment
coming to him god forbid they if he has
been talkin they can't punish him so
therefore what they do from heaven is
they take away is be talking now that
raises a whole other question of free
choice you know how Kobe Dishman quotes
me you know Shurmur him so how could
they takeaways be talking or you know
that's it's similar to the question of
you know Perez you know Perry's heart
being hardened you know how
you have free choice in that case and I
don't want to get into the whole
philosophical discussion right now but
the point is that if you would have be
talking then nothing will stand in the
way of their talking to the extent that
if they need to punish a guy and he has
been talking they'll take away they'll
be talking because they can't punish him
while he still has to be talking because
we're talking will cause that only good
things and no punishment will happen
okay so here's but here's the thing if
you're not listening to a sham then
clearly you don't have been talking it's
not though I have been talking but my
betokens not working because Hashem is
punishing me for not listening to him no
that's not what it is it's I clearly
don't have betoken because I'm not
submitting to his will for me because if
I had me talking I would know that
everything he tells me in the Holy
theater that I'm supposed to do is the
best thing that I can be doing way
better than whatever else I think I
should be doing or could be doing right
now so that itself that I'm not doing
what a sham wants that itself shows a
lack of baton so it's not that oh really
you have you're talking butter shams not
gonna treat you like someone who has
been talking because he's punishing you
no you don't have the talking Dada you
don't trust him to live according to his
will you instead want to live according
to your own will by the way I received
some feedback also after last night
somebody I know hurt who heard the class
where I made this you know I made a
reference to 12-step recovery and I
talked about the old non-jewish guys who
had you know had 20 30 years in the
program and how they would - that was
like so simple that of course a Jew has
to do what a Jew has to do and you know
that's part of your recovery that's part
of the that's part of the program is
that a Jew has to keep their - mitzvahs
right so somebody reached out to me
today and said oh that is so true that
resonates completely with my experience
I know these guys at
these guys you're describing it's so
simple to them that obviously you know
if you're really surrendered if you're
really giving yourself over to God then
that means you're doing his will in
other words you can't say I'm
surrendered I'm trusting I'm giving
myself over to God but I won't do what
he wants
it's it's it's an it's an oxymoron it's
a state of mind I obey the the two
things cannot cannot coexist okay so I
hope that that's clear there's a
question so is be talking all or nothing
not everyone keeps all the mitzvahs book
it could still have be talking clearly
but talking is not binary it's not
either/or it's not either you have a
token or you don't or we'd all be in big
trouble
be talkin is on a spectrum and part of
the goal of learning safer like this and
hopefully not just learning it but
meditating upon it and reflecting upon
it trying to internalize it is to grow
and evolve in our be talking to make
that be talking stronger so yeah it is
certainly not an all-or-nothing
proposition we'd be in big trouble if
that were the case there's an expression
from Hazael I'll say it in Aramaic in
the original Aramaic gana Puma Tata
Ramon Acharya that the GaN of the thief
at the entrance to the tunnel he dug a
tunnel under a wall in order to break
into a into a house to do is gain Ava to
rob the house so at the entrance to the
tunnel that he just dug before he jumps
down into the tunnel he calls out to the
merciful one meaning he says a prayer so
the classic question is is this gonne if
this this thief is he a my manners he
not am I mean does he believe we're he
doesn't believe
because you could argue either way if
he's not a believer then why is he
wasting time praying he should just jump
in the in the tunnel as quickly as
possible and get in and out you
shouldn't be wasting time with prayer
and the fact that he's doubting must
mean he feels it's a it's a good use of
his time that it's something that's
gonna help him so he obviously does
believe on the other hand you know about
the the guy who called up a synagogue by
the way and the receptionist answers the
phone he says I'm looking for a
one-armed rabbi and reception says what
he says I'm looking for a one-armed
rabbi receptionist says what he says I
told you I'm looking for a one-armed
rabbi she says I don't understand why
are you looking for a one-armed Robert
we don't have a one and grab it I don't
know what's a one our rabbi says listen
I'll tell you I'm looking for a
one-armed driver because the rabbi I
have right now every time I ask him a
question he answers me and then a second
later he says but on the other hand okay
so on the other hand if this gamma --v
really has faith in Hashem if he's a
believer then how come he's going
against Hashem's will Hashem told him
don't robbed and he's robbing how come
he doesn't believe that he can keep beta
mitzvahs and Hashem will find a kosher
way to give him livelihood so clearly it
doesn't believe but if he doesn't
believe then why is he standing there
and being Miss Powell he's diving before
before he does his before it does is
break it and we can go back and forth
arguing and we never we can never reach
a conclusion so how do we understand
this so I'll tell you the the
explanation that I see this gives which
is that
it's not binary it's not all or nothing
it's not either/or okay there's a
spectrum there are degrees and more
specifically what are these degrees
they are degrees of internalization or
integration of course he has omona first
of all he dinar my meaning Bonet my
meaning so intrinsically every Jew
believes in a shadow you know I told you
a couple nights ago I mentioned Carl
Sagan who purported to be an atheist his
whole life okay and I said but you
didn't mean him Bonet my meaning okay so
and that's a hundred percent true
there's nothing you can do about it you
deserve imean okay but but then why does
he say he's an atheist then he's joking
he's lying he doesn't mean it
no he means it but he's not an atheist
he's a moment but he says he's an
atheist and he's not lying okay so we
have to explain it like this deep down
we all believe why because deep down
that's your soul and your soul believes
you know you know they say seeing is
believing your soul sees so your soul
believes you're so testifies you know in
the shmatte you said all you have two
big letters you have the iron from SH
man you have the dollar from a flawed
iron and Alan is eight the soul is a
witness aid means a witness soul sees
God okay but that's deep down or maybe
if we're gonna use spatial terms
obviously when we're talking about
spiritual things they don't adhere or
conform to spatial terminology so we say
deep or you know shallow or up or down
right left these are these are symbolic
terms when we speak about spiritual
phenomena but maybe if we're going to
use any spatial terms I think probably
the better way to put it is
think of your your souls beliefs as sort
of hovering around you
the the Hasidic term is Mac if data Mac
if which literally means surrounding so
think about your Souls relationship with
a sham it's sort of like hovering around
you but they're a mock if but it's not
getting into you what does it mean it's
not getting into you what what's you
who's you I mean your soul is also you
in fact in some ways it's it's the real
you but for the purposes of our
conversation when we when we say you I
mean the you that I'm talking to right
now when I'm talking to you right now
I'm not talking to your soul first of
all your soul doesn't need this class
your soul already knows everything in
this class I'm speaking to your brain
and I'm speaking to your heart so that's
you now how integrated are your souls
beliefs in your brain and in your heart
so your souls beliefs are but then if
mock if they're hovering around you but
your job is to bring them in into your
mind and into your heart and integrate
them with your mind meaning the way that
you look at things and make judgments
and make decisions you know the way you
assess information that's that's your
mind and then based on those assessments
and those judgments you come to an
emotional conclusion you have a feeling
about whatever it is that you're you're
thinking about or looking at and there
are degrees to which we have made that
that that integration occur meaning we
can integrate it a little bit or we can
integrate it a lot now the ganas that
we're talking about here the proverbial
thief at the tunnel who's Dominic he has
faith because his soul believes but it's
not it hasn't penetrated him
it hasn't penetrated his mind in heart
because he looks at life he looks at his
situation he looks at you know the bills
he has to pay and he comes up with an
assessment that there's no honest way
that he's going to be able to make a
living and emotionally he doesn't feel
he doesn't feel that he's taken care of
or he will be taken care of unless he
goes and he does this this this robbery
so of course he believes in Hashem but
in a very abstract way abstract might be
a good good term to use here okay when
we say it's been dead maka if what we
mean is it's abstract or like in the
email that we're reading before about
theoretical and practical I would use
those terms but I would take them out of
the context that we said in that email
and import them into this context and
say like this and I want I don't want to
remind you how the words theoretical and
practical were used in that email
because because I don't want to confuse
everyone by returning to that but I'm
just I'm lifting those words the Ghanim
believes in Hashem in theory but he
doesn't believe in Hashem in practice so
in theory of course God runs the world
but when it comes to the way he looks at
life and the way he feels about it and
therefore the kinds of decisions he
makes he's not aligned with that belief
he's not aligned with that belief he
doesn't see that he looks at life he
doesn't see the world that way and then
when he thinks about how he feels about
life he doesn't feel he doesn't feel the
feelings a person would have if his
feelings were aligned with his faith if
your feelings think about if your
feelings were aligned with your faith
how would you feel you feel at peace
you'd feel secure you feel happy you'd
feel calm he doesn't feel that way so he
has faith but his faith is just faith it
remains abstract or mock if or however
you want to you know hovering if you
want to call it
and meanwhile in here and here in his
mind in his heart he's got a different
reality
so what's our work what's our job the
difference between the gan of domine at
the tunnel and the god of who stops
being a ganas is not the flip of a
switch it's a process it's a process in
other words it's not like he's either
someone who doesn't have integrated
faith or he is no there's a spectrum and
movement along that spectrum is a
process in other words in order to go
from where he's at to where he needs to
be what does he need to do he needs to
engage in the process of taking what he
already believes in his soul and moving
that into his mind and into his heart
now how do you do that what does that
look like what is the process of taking
faith and move it into your moving it
into your mind and heart look like so I
have good news for you you know what it
looks like it looks exactly like this it
looks like what we're doing right now
when we I told you already your soul
doesn't need to learn how to be talking
because your soul already has been
talking but when we learn these things
we're not learning them for the Soul
we're learning them for the mind and for
the heart so that we can get our mind
and heart lined up with where our soul
already is so when you learn these ideas
and you discuss them and you explain
them and you make sure that may they
make sense and if it doesn't make sense
you write an email and you ask a
question and you ask for clarification
when you do that work what are you doing
you're making sure
or that Hashem won't remain abstract
Hashem won't remain theoretical what
you're doing is you you're taking the
faith and you're making it aligned with
your mind with your heart so that when
you actually go into your life and you
have decisions to make and you look at
things and you have to make assessments
and you have to make judgments your
decisions and your assessments and your
judgments are gonna be aligned with and
in keeping with what your soul already
believes so that's what we're doing here
that's the whole purpose of a class like
this is to get that faith integrated
intellectually and emotionally there's
another question here in the chat box
which is I thought that having be
talking means we trust that everything
that a Shem gives us is for our good
which includes Tyrel and not it mitzvahs
like the deposition story I'm not trying
to read that last part but if I
understand what you're writing yes I
that's if I understand what you're
writing that's yeah that's what we were
saying at the beginning of the class
unless you're writing something
different maybe you're saying something
different but what we're saying in the
beginning with the class is the bit
talkin isn't just that I trust
everything Hashem does in this world is
for my good it's also trusting that the
plan that he gave to me called Paita and
mitzvahs called show Honora
called halacha that that plane is also
good so you can't separate the two if
you have been talking that Hashem is
running the world in a kind in good way
then that also means you have be talking
that the plane Hashem gave us when he
gave us the Toyota that's all that's
also kind and good but again I'm not
100% sure I understood the question okay
I rabbits how I understand it cancel
trusting a champ and then feeling less
codependent yeah and loving another for
who they are less hopeful film
that's codependent comma and therefore
loving people for who they are but if a
person really only trusts in a Shem and
other and not on others and busies his
mind with that if his personality is
more reserved he may appear cold to
others okay so yeah yeah we spoke about
I don't remember which class that was -
maybe like class three or four I
remember was an early ish class where I
spoke about when you don't depend on
others and you only depend on a Shem so
then you stop being a codependent you
know stop being a people pleaser
compromises their principles in order to
get approval from others so now you're
asking well won't people think you're
cold won't people think that you're not
nice so here's the thing I want to tell
you something first of all no they will
not think that that's that's that's it
no why am I saying no because how could
doing the right thing hurt people but if
you want an explanation if you want to
prove it to yourself so you know to me I
think about that it had been that ever
had the talkin in a sham and you know it
didn't didn't need people's approval
didn't need people to tell him he's okay
you know that ever had just it's not for
people like us to try to describe a
sadhaks relationship with a sham but
suffice it to say you know the devas
relationship with people wasn't like the
kind of relationship that we have with
people where we well we do expect people
to fix us or to to do for to do things
for us they're really only Hashem can do
right so the rubber had been talking and
did people think of him as cold no to
the contrary to the contrary people
talked about being you heedless whatever
well what do they always say they feel
the they said no matter either even
though they never had the whole world on
his shoulders I felt like I was the only
thing in
entire world because he gave me his full
attention when you are so solid in your
relationship with Hashem that you don't
need anything from anybody and not only
you're no longer using people but it
doesn't even cross your mind to use
people that is when you first become
free to truly bond with people because
now if I'm sitting across from you I
don't need anything from you I'm not
trying to get anything out of you I have
no personal agenda in this I have no
personal stake if I'm talking to you now
it's because I want to be here and I'm a
hundred percent present people who
really have that kind of a talking not
only do they not have dysfunctional
human relationships they're the ones who
have the healthiest human relationships
because they can actually be present and
bond with people with zero agenda so I
hope that's that's clear there's a
private question about not feeling a
connection these days and one wondering
if this class can help well I hope this
class can help but if it's not this
class then some other class yes like
we're talking about before our soul is
already connected now we just got to get
the mind and the heart
lined up to that so how do you get the
mind in the heart lined up to the soul
is through learning Torah you have to
learn Thoreau that's the only way so if
it's not this class and it would be some
other class if it's not this teacher
it'll be some other teacher but yes
continue your studies that's that's the
way to go anything else yeah okay go
ahead yeah