Shaar HaBitachon Lesson 15 with Rabbi Shais Taub

so I wanted to I got a I got a an email I haven't done questions and answers in a while but I got an email last night after the shear and I wanted to respond to it it's actually somebody who is usually on live so I feel you know they get priority if you're part of the live group so we fast track your your questions so it was so would you say I'm reading now the email so would you say that theoretically Hashem will give good no matter what but practically we mess it up for ourselves when we don't act on the Torah mitzvahs which are for our benefit and that puts us at odds with our supposing to talking thanks for this series greatly appreciated wanted to learn shadow but talking for the longest time and this gave me the impetus yeah so I'll ask I'll answer the I'll address the first thing second and the second thing first so thank you for coming to the class and giving me an impetus to go through shot of a talking again definitely this learning in this format and in this forum is a whole new level for me and has really added to my appreciation of the of the safer so regarding this question I'm not sure exactly that I would formulate it that way because you say theoretically I shall give no matter what but practically we mess it up for ourselves i I don't want to agree with that formulation because that it implies that there's no situation where we're hash em won't give mercifully if if we don't do what he says and the truth is that he does he does give mercifully so if you if you if you phrase it us theoretically and practically then basically what you're saying is practically there's no such case where Hashem is giving good to those who are unworthy and practically speaking we know there there is such a case there are constant cases and so I wouldn't formulate it that way I would the way that I would put it and it's a difficult concept to to grasp so I spoke about it last night but it's difficult so I I'm gonna repeat myself what I said last night this is or maybe saying a little bit different words but the same thing that we said last night there's no such thing as claiming to really trust in a Shem and then not obeying his will for you it's not that well if you don't obey his will for you then therefore he's gonna punish you by not being nice to you no that's not the formulation the formulation is like this when you have trust in a Shem that he's going to do good for you nothing can stop that nothing can stand in the way of be talking to the extent like they'd ever mentioned that Kassar Shem Tov where the Baal Shem Tov says when somebody is high in phony actually is has a punishment coming to him god forbid they if he has been talkin they can't punish him so therefore what they do from heaven is they take away is be talking now that raises a whole other question of free choice you know how Kobe Dishman quotes me you know Shurmur him so how could they takeaways be talking or you know that's it's similar to the question of you know Perez you know Perry's heart being hardened you know how you have free choice in that case and I don't want to get into the whole philosophical discussion right now but the point is that if you would have be talking then nothing will stand in the way of their talking to the extent that if they need to punish a guy and he has been talking they'll take away they'll be talking because they can't punish him while he still has to be talking because we're talking will cause that only good things and no punishment will happen okay so here's but here's the thing if you're not listening to a sham then clearly you don't have been talking it's not though I have been talking but my betokens not working because Hashem is punishing me for not listening to him no that's not what it is it's I clearly don't have betoken because I'm not submitting to his will for me because if I had me talking I would know that everything he tells me in the Holy theater that I'm supposed to do is the best thing that I can be doing way better than whatever else I think I should be doing or could be doing right now so that itself that I'm not doing what a sham wants that itself shows a lack of baton so it's not that oh really you have you're talking butter shams not gonna treat you like someone who has been talking because he's punishing you no you don't have the talking Dada you don't trust him to live according to his will you instead want to live according to your own will by the way I received some feedback also after last night somebody I know hurt who heard the class where I made this you know I made a reference to 12-step recovery and I talked about the old non-jewish guys who had you know had 20 30 years in the program and how they would - that was like so simple that of course a Jew has to do what a Jew has to do and you know that's part of your recovery that's part of the that's part of the program is that a Jew has to keep their - mitzvahs right so somebody reached out to me today and said oh that is so true that resonates completely with my experience I know these guys at these guys you're describing it's so simple to them that obviously you know if you're really surrendered if you're really giving yourself over to God then that means you're doing his will in other words you can't say I'm surrendered I'm trusting I'm giving myself over to God but I won't do what he wants it's it's it's an it's an oxymoron it's a state of mind I obey the the two things cannot cannot coexist okay so I hope that that's clear there's a question so is be talking all or nothing not everyone keeps all the mitzvahs book it could still have be talking clearly but talking is not binary it's not either/or it's not either you have a token or you don't or we'd all be in big trouble be talkin is on a spectrum and part of the goal of learning safer like this and hopefully not just learning it but meditating upon it and reflecting upon it trying to internalize it is to grow and evolve in our be talking to make that be talking stronger so yeah it is certainly not an all-or-nothing proposition we'd be in big trouble if that were the case there's an expression from Hazael I'll say it in Aramaic in the original Aramaic gana Puma Tata Ramon Acharya that the GaN of the thief at the entrance to the tunnel he dug a tunnel under a wall in order to break into a into a house to do is gain Ava to rob the house so at the entrance to the tunnel that he just dug before he jumps down into the tunnel he calls out to the merciful one meaning he says a prayer so the classic question is is this gonne if this this thief is he a my manners he not am I mean does he believe we're he doesn't believe because you could argue either way if he's not a believer then why is he wasting time praying he should just jump in the in the tunnel as quickly as possible and get in and out you shouldn't be wasting time with prayer and the fact that he's doubting must mean he feels it's a it's a good use of his time that it's something that's gonna help him so he obviously does believe on the other hand you know about the the guy who called up a synagogue by the way and the receptionist answers the phone he says I'm looking for a one-armed rabbi and reception says what he says I'm looking for a one-armed rabbi receptionist says what he says I told you I'm looking for a one-armed rabbi she says I don't understand why are you looking for a one-armed Robert we don't have a one and grab it I don't know what's a one our rabbi says listen I'll tell you I'm looking for a one-armed driver because the rabbi I have right now every time I ask him a question he answers me and then a second later he says but on the other hand okay so on the other hand if this gamma --v really has faith in Hashem if he's a believer then how come he's going against Hashem's will Hashem told him don't robbed and he's robbing how come he doesn't believe that he can keep beta mitzvahs and Hashem will find a kosher way to give him livelihood so clearly it doesn't believe but if he doesn't believe then why is he standing there and being Miss Powell he's diving before before he does his before it does is break it and we can go back and forth arguing and we never we can never reach a conclusion so how do we understand this so I'll tell you the the explanation that I see this gives which is that it's not binary it's not all or nothing it's not either/or okay there's a spectrum there are degrees and more specifically what are these degrees they are degrees of internalization or integration of course he has omona first of all he dinar my meaning Bonet my meaning so intrinsically every Jew believes in a shadow you know I told you a couple nights ago I mentioned Carl Sagan who purported to be an atheist his whole life okay and I said but you didn't mean him Bonet my meaning okay so and that's a hundred percent true there's nothing you can do about it you deserve imean okay but but then why does he say he's an atheist then he's joking he's lying he doesn't mean it no he means it but he's not an atheist he's a moment but he says he's an atheist and he's not lying okay so we have to explain it like this deep down we all believe why because deep down that's your soul and your soul believes you know you know they say seeing is believing your soul sees so your soul believes you're so testifies you know in the shmatte you said all you have two big letters you have the iron from SH man you have the dollar from a flawed iron and Alan is eight the soul is a witness aid means a witness soul sees God okay but that's deep down or maybe if we're gonna use spatial terms obviously when we're talking about spiritual things they don't adhere or conform to spatial terminology so we say deep or you know shallow or up or down right left these are these are symbolic terms when we speak about spiritual phenomena but maybe if we're going to use any spatial terms I think probably the better way to put it is think of your your souls beliefs as sort of hovering around you the the Hasidic term is Mac if data Mac if which literally means surrounding so think about your Souls relationship with a sham it's sort of like hovering around you but they're a mock if but it's not getting into you what does it mean it's not getting into you what what's you who's you I mean your soul is also you in fact in some ways it's it's the real you but for the purposes of our conversation when we when we say you I mean the you that I'm talking to right now when I'm talking to you right now I'm not talking to your soul first of all your soul doesn't need this class your soul already knows everything in this class I'm speaking to your brain and I'm speaking to your heart so that's you now how integrated are your souls beliefs in your brain and in your heart so your souls beliefs are but then if mock if they're hovering around you but your job is to bring them in into your mind and into your heart and integrate them with your mind meaning the way that you look at things and make judgments and make decisions you know the way you assess information that's that's your mind and then based on those assessments and those judgments you come to an emotional conclusion you have a feeling about whatever it is that you're you're thinking about or looking at and there are degrees to which we have made that that that integration occur meaning we can integrate it a little bit or we can integrate it a lot now the ganas that we're talking about here the proverbial thief at the tunnel who's Dominic he has faith because his soul believes but it's not it hasn't penetrated him it hasn't penetrated his mind in heart because he looks at life he looks at his situation he looks at you know the bills he has to pay and he comes up with an assessment that there's no honest way that he's going to be able to make a living and emotionally he doesn't feel he doesn't feel that he's taken care of or he will be taken care of unless he goes and he does this this this robbery so of course he believes in Hashem but in a very abstract way abstract might be a good good term to use here okay when we say it's been dead maka if what we mean is it's abstract or like in the email that we're reading before about theoretical and practical I would use those terms but I would take them out of the context that we said in that email and import them into this context and say like this and I want I don't want to remind you how the words theoretical and practical were used in that email because because I don't want to confuse everyone by returning to that but I'm just I'm lifting those words the Ghanim believes in Hashem in theory but he doesn't believe in Hashem in practice so in theory of course God runs the world but when it comes to the way he looks at life and the way he feels about it and therefore the kinds of decisions he makes he's not aligned with that belief he's not aligned with that belief he doesn't see that he looks at life he doesn't see the world that way and then when he thinks about how he feels about life he doesn't feel he doesn't feel the feelings a person would have if his feelings were aligned with his faith if your feelings think about if your feelings were aligned with your faith how would you feel you feel at peace you'd feel secure you feel happy you'd feel calm he doesn't feel that way so he has faith but his faith is just faith it remains abstract or mock if or however you want to you know hovering if you want to call it and meanwhile in here and here in his mind in his heart he's got a different reality so what's our work what's our job the difference between the gan of domine at the tunnel and the god of who stops being a ganas is not the flip of a switch it's a process it's a process in other words it's not like he's either someone who doesn't have integrated faith or he is no there's a spectrum and movement along that spectrum is a process in other words in order to go from where he's at to where he needs to be what does he need to do he needs to engage in the process of taking what he already believes in his soul and moving that into his mind and into his heart now how do you do that what does that look like what is the process of taking faith and move it into your moving it into your mind and heart look like so I have good news for you you know what it looks like it looks exactly like this it looks like what we're doing right now when we I told you already your soul doesn't need to learn how to be talking because your soul already has been talking but when we learn these things we're not learning them for the Soul we're learning them for the mind and for the heart so that we can get our mind and heart lined up with where our soul already is so when you learn these ideas and you discuss them and you explain them and you make sure that may they make sense and if it doesn't make sense you write an email and you ask a question and you ask for clarification when you do that work what are you doing you're making sure or that Hashem won't remain abstract Hashem won't remain theoretical what you're doing is you you're taking the faith and you're making it aligned with your mind with your heart so that when you actually go into your life and you have decisions to make and you look at things and you have to make assessments and you have to make judgments your decisions and your assessments and your judgments are gonna be aligned with and in keeping with what your soul already believes so that's what we're doing here that's the whole purpose of a class like this is to get that faith integrated intellectually and emotionally there's another question here in the chat box which is I thought that having be talking means we trust that everything that a Shem gives us is for our good which includes Tyrel and not it mitzvahs like the deposition story I'm not trying to read that last part but if I understand what you're writing yes I that's if I understand what you're writing that's yeah that's what we were saying at the beginning of the class unless you're writing something different maybe you're saying something different but what we're saying in the beginning with the class is the bit talkin isn't just that I trust everything Hashem does in this world is for my good it's also trusting that the plan that he gave to me called Paita and mitzvahs called show Honora called halacha that that plane is also good so you can't separate the two if you have been talking that Hashem is running the world in a kind in good way then that also means you have be talking that the plane Hashem gave us when he gave us the Toyota that's all that's also kind and good but again I'm not 100% sure I understood the question okay I rabbits how I understand it cancel trusting a champ and then feeling less codependent yeah and loving another for who they are less hopeful film that's codependent comma and therefore loving people for who they are but if a person really only trusts in a Shem and other and not on others and busies his mind with that if his personality is more reserved he may appear cold to others okay so yeah yeah we spoke about I don't remember which class that was - maybe like class three or four I remember was an early ish class where I spoke about when you don't depend on others and you only depend on a Shem so then you stop being a codependent you know stop being a people pleaser compromises their principles in order to get approval from others so now you're asking well won't people think you're cold won't people think that you're not nice so here's the thing I want to tell you something first of all no they will not think that that's that's that's it no why am I saying no because how could doing the right thing hurt people but if you want an explanation if you want to prove it to yourself so you know to me I think about that it had been that ever had the talkin in a sham and you know it didn't didn't need people's approval didn't need people to tell him he's okay you know that ever had just it's not for people like us to try to describe a sadhaks relationship with a sham but suffice it to say you know the devas relationship with people wasn't like the kind of relationship that we have with people where we well we do expect people to fix us or to to do for to do things for us they're really only Hashem can do right so the rubber had been talking and did people think of him as cold no to the contrary to the contrary people talked about being you heedless whatever well what do they always say they feel the they said no matter either even though they never had the whole world on his shoulders I felt like I was the only thing in entire world because he gave me his full attention when you are so solid in your relationship with Hashem that you don't need anything from anybody and not only you're no longer using people but it doesn't even cross your mind to use people that is when you first become free to truly bond with people because now if I'm sitting across from you I don't need anything from you I'm not trying to get anything out of you I have no personal agenda in this I have no personal stake if I'm talking to you now it's because I want to be here and I'm a hundred percent present people who really have that kind of a talking not only do they not have dysfunctional human relationships they're the ones who have the healthiest human relationships because they can actually be present and bond with people with zero agenda so I hope that's that's clear there's a private question about not feeling a connection these days and one wondering if this class can help well I hope this class can help but if it's not this class then some other class yes like we're talking about before our soul is already connected now we just got to get the mind and the heart lined up to that so how do you get the mind in the heart lined up to the soul is through learning Torah you have to learn Thoreau that's the only way so if it's not this class and it would be some other class if it's not this teacher it'll be some other teacher but yes continue your studies that's that's the way to go anything else yeah okay go ahead yeah