Shiur Torah #48 Yom Kippur MUSAR from Achi Ezer Synagogue (Brooklyn New York)

thank you for coming sorry I'm late again uh it's very very important to be on time but sometimes you know it's a lot of lot of you know things that get in the way has to get his anytime you try to do anything good you're always going to have something to disturb you you're always going to have something that's going to get in the way even your your you know you guys do I see everybody here as righteous I see everybody here of course if they're friends of Albert you know uh has three hairs if you notice has three hairs on it that's for the that's for the they did it for the so you give him that I don't know how the cabalistic I don't know how that world works but what I do know is that the three hairs are for him so he doesn't get in the way of you doingin every single thing that you're going to do in life you're always going to have the involved why because that's his job you can't really be upset at him but at the same time you have to hate him because he's the one that's going to try to get us to make all of these sins this is also the reason why if you notice through through Tor why the Messiah if you look through all the generations the story of the mssiah and how he came about and eventually come in our generation has always been a very strange un torik type of story where they starting off with the story of Judah and Tamar you know Judah obviously was one of the 12 tribes big sadik and Tamar was his daughter-in-law so Tamar marries his first son Judah doesn't know that his first son is not exactly a sadik he thinks she's beautiful but he doesn't want to have kids with her hem in those days since there was so much so many miracles and there was so much sh in the world at the time it wasn't like today where hasem was going to let you sin endlessly and eventually do chuva in those days sometimes specific types of people got you know punished right away so when Onan made his sins Hashem decided to take him out of the world so in those days they also had a uh they follow the AL which we don't do in these days which is that one say if there's a marriage and you know the the husband dies then and uh the uh the um the wife if there's no children the wife goes to the brother if he's willing if so that's what they did and he did the same exact thing he also didn't want to have children you also wanted to have intimate relations which is obviously major one of the major sins in Judaism and uh with no purpose hasm doesn't agree with the purposeless life so hasem took him out of the world also so then you have the story of how Tamar wanted to marry the third son but he was too young so she waited so Judah told her go back to your father's home and when uh when he's ready I'll I'll I will let you know in so many words in reality he didn't want her to marry his third son because he think he doesn't realize his sons were really at fault for what happened to them so he's figuring maybe this woman is something wrong with her maybe I should uh try to take a few steps you know back and uh try to get away with it not give it to my third son Shalom maybe my third son's going to die now kazal tells us that Tamal knew that the seed of Judah was going to eventually lead to the mashiah and she wanted to be a part of it and this is why after she she had she had a prophecy okay she had a prophecy she had a prophecy that the Messiah is going to come from Judah seed and she wanted to be a part of it so I don't I don't blame her but now she's starting to she's not uh she's not foolish she's starting to realize that hey you know what maybe uh this plan of his is not really the plan that I thought it was maybe he's really just trying to kick me out of the house get me back to my father's house and uh hope that I forget about it so she realized that that was the plan and she said okay well I have to be part of this plan and that's why you're going to read in a about a month and a half or so uh the par and it's going to tell you the story of how she dressed up like a prostitute in order to entice Judah to be with her now how did you how did how could you tell the difference between a prostitute and not prostitute in those days everyone was modest there was no such thing as no modesty in those days no such thing lack of modesty was if you C if you covered your face as far as the rest of your clothes no such thing no one was walking around naked like we have today back in those days everyone was modest Rashi himself actually wrote that in his generation even the go even the go you can rely on that when the when the uh when the women come to the wedding they're all you could always rely on the fact that they're always a virgin even the go so he said of course the Jews but he says in our we're such Sim in our generation that even the go the women of the go they're all virgins when they get to their weddings unfortunately things are not the same in our generation so now you have Tamar makes a move and she covers her face so you cannot recognize her face and Hashem in essence pushes Judah to go to her and they get together and in essence what happens is that she he uh she says okay well how are you going to pay me and he gives her a few things that are personal to him because he didn't have the money at hand and then later [Music] on when he tries to pay her or send has sent his friend to pay her can't find her doesn't know who she is and what ends up happening is that this he just forgets about it and a few months pass by and then the uh the people of the community notice that she is several months pregnant and they go to Judah and say well she's embarrassing your family's name she's having relations without out of wedlock shalom in those days again another example of how different we are from our forefathers having relations pre premarital sex no shalom this is not for the purpose of making us feel bad this is for the purpose of realizing where we came from and what we're trying to do today so now he says okay well someone does that it's death penalty bring her here we'll judge her and she tells uh you know right before they're about to throw into the fire she says can I have say one thing to uh to Judah which in essence was like a king in those days and says who do these things belong to she didn't say hey by the way buddy this is your babies you're you're the one that got me into this situation no said Who does these belong to meaning she gave him the option of admitting if he didn't want to admit okay fine which means that she preferred to go into the fire and get burned and die than ever to embarrass him this is what tells us this is what we learned from this that it's better to burn in a fire than embarrass someone else in public we learned this from Tam out so why do I tell you this story because technically now obviously Judah one of the reasons why his name is Judah is because he admitted to what he did and he obviously didn't kill her and they had two sons and one of them parents was the one that they of the mashiah would come from but if you think about it for a second it's pretty strange think about mashiah you think about something kados you're thinking about something really really holy something perfect something beautiful you're thinking it's going to be you know you're thinking it's going to be someone that floats doesn't even uh doesn't even walk like us this is one of the things that we have to learn about the yet is that the yet knows that when the mashia comes it's his end hasem promises to kill the to slaughter him when the Messiah comes so the mhia so obviously the doesn't want the the mashia to come he's going to try to do whatever he can to get in the way so since he knew this since he knew that the seed is going to come from Judah also he thought like us though he thought that it's going to come from something holy he thought it's not going to come from some you know out of wedlock this whole balagan so one of the reasons why hasem put it in made Tamar do what she did made Judah do what he did was because as soon as the saw it what was happening ah there's no way that the mashia is going to come from this this is this is a uh this is a sin so by the time he obviously realized it it was already too late because the seed was already there andem we went to the next step the same concept goes with the story of Ruth the same concept goes with the story of King David himself King David himself was thought by his own father that he was a bastard again another story of how you see how that eventually when we see the mashia we meet him we say hi to him he's going to introduce us to you see AA but before that it's nice to know a few things about him you see that the story of how we get to the mashiah even hasem himself had to finagle a few things to make sure he doesn't get in the way and this is one of the one of the things we learn about this is that anytime you're going to try to do something good the is always going to try to get involved he's always going to try to get in the way so if you want to do gifts for example we're in right now we have Judgment Day just passed now we have yum kipur is the appeal we don't know how our judgment was all we know is that we had Judgment Day we're still here but we have an appeal process coming up next week we have so in case our judgment for the next year is not exactly roses so we have to obviously be prepared we have to go up there and we have to pray to Hashem and ask for forgiveness for whatever sins we did we have to ask for obviously blessing and and so on and so forth since we don't know how we were judged we all have to really prepare and one of the things that people do is they give one of the mistakes that I made personally which will'll go into my personal story in a second one of the mistakes that I made personally at times is that I'll delay things I'll say yeah I'll give this guy money or I'll give this besset money or I will do certain things but when I get time when I get time when I get time I'll give I'm busy right now making Million Dollar Deals firing hiring people doing all these things being on TV doing all this all this uh show and tell type of life when I get to it I'll do it and you know I gave someaka but later on I found out what what I was supposed to give versus what I gave is nowhere near what was supposed to be but I would delay it and this is opening the door for the Satan this is not only did you open the door for the to come in you invited him you made him coffee like you guys have all this food right now it's like this is what what we do when we delay like oh he already did the job for me he delayed so what's going to happen neither you delayed even for one for one day or for one week or you say I'm going to do it at the end of the month or I'm going to do it when I get my next paycheck you have the money in the bank it's not that you don't have the money but you're not that comfortable with the balance that you have so when I get my next check on the 15th we used to get paid on the 15th once a month we get paid on the 15th that was the big day when I get paid on the 15th that's when I'm going to give that's what I'm going to give the rabbi that's when to give theone that's going to give some sales I'm going to do all these things all these big promises once the 15th comes of course once the 15th came he already gave you some other things to deal with and by the time the 15th came either you forgot about it or there's a lot of distractions that make you forget about it or pretty much put it off for another month and another month and this is when you're promising to do it it's also a form of a n it's not something that's not like saying oh yeah it's you know it's a nice gesture why don't you tell someone for example when someone buys an alah in even though technically you're supposed to give it during that year and I don't know of any Rabbi or any vesit that's a real maped and calls people and like a collection agency tell to pay the money right away but it's generally a bad idea to delay it until the end of the year it's usually a very very good idea to get give the money right away because you don't want the to get involved listen if you have to you have to this is not like it's not like a sin so don't get don't Mis just don't misunderstand me in any way it's not a sin to delay it if you don't have the money yet but you think you will or you believe you will or you hope you will but if you have it don't let the get in the way because why if the was able to get in the way enough to such an extent that Hashem himself had to finagle something for the mashia to come why wouldn't we do it for us and this is some of the mistakes that I'm going to talk about that I did in my life and and I think that even though technically talking about your past if it's a uh yeah before you go through that can you just touch base on [Music] on come from right in the and there's three there three no there's three K right three three crowns a person could get okay is higher is the highest and there's another one right third one is the highest so how does this tie up with with with the one the other two no the Messiah will have will have theal tells us the the the the secret part of the tah says that not only does he come from the seed of David which is and also Tor but half of his soul will be David's and half of his soul will be from a g ofu so in essence he uh you know he will have a uh he will be the best there is other he will be smarter than SCH but almost as big a prophet as m no one will ever be as big ASU this is a verse in the Tora but as far as the uh as far as the mashia is going to be a pretty big deal you know and I think that with one of the main things that uh the the go uh don't understand is that they think that they the Messiah already came and then he died then he's going to come back again and all of that nonsense that they they write in their books one of the things that is the clear is the most logical thing to prove to disprove that whole theory that whole argument that whole religion there's many proofs obviously is that when the mashia comes there will be no doubts that he's the mashia there's plenty of people there there's a book this big of false mashia over the years that have happened even R AKA himself made a mistake and thought that someone was a mashiah even theage is not the mashia they believe he's they believe whatever they want but he's not the mashia but we don't believe that they do right the way you the way you know for sure that he's not the Messiah that he died Mah doesn't die so when you if I tell somebody that listen if uh stealing is not good and they steal does that make stealing right no if I tell someone listen if you violate Shabbat then according to the not even in seven places in the all over the all over the zor and in the actual it says you're not even considered Jewish the fact that he continues violate Shabbat is not going to change the rule no it's not going to change the rule so they could they could say they can say that he's the mashiach they could say he's whoever they want it's wrong why is it wrong because he died it's violates the major principle of being the mashiah second thing that he he violates is this one thing that I'm going to tell you which is that once the mhia comes everyone will know meaning not only the Jews not just the syrians or the Turkish or the guys from Tripoli or the guys from Morocco or the yemenites the go everyone will know he's the Messiah it'll be obvious it'll be a worldwide event you're going to see breaking news on CNN and Fox 5 for the last time we have we have some crazy things happening in the world there's a mountain opening in half there is a there's a there's a person that when he speaks to certain people they disintegrate into nothing because they that's the reason and you know there's there's someone that can tell you who you are and what you are without even hearing you speak there's no doubt it's not going to be some uh you know some guy that's some old man walking around you know saying oh do you want to follow me please do you want to uh no I'm not saying that that's I'm saying it's not going to be a doubt or a uh you know question of whether it's the mashiah or not mashiah is here is here everyone's going to know why how do we know this because when we got the Torah in Mount Si it was the biggest event in history of the world because it was the biggest event in the world every nation and every person knew that it happened this is why no one that believe that's that believes in monotheism that believes in God ever says that Judaism is is wrong meaning Christianity believes that they're right but we have to be right in order for them to be right meaning it can never be that the Old Testament or tah is what we call they call the Old Testament because old makes it seem like it's out of date it makes their new more popular but they say that the Old Testament is right but we have a second half that we got but the second half cannot be right without the first half meaning that the second half cannot contradict the first half so they agree with what the Torah says same thing with Islam they say that Torah is good it's kosher you know a peace be upon Him mus that's what they call mosenu peace be upon him also they're all great people we have a continuation we call it the Quran fine so no one disagrees with the Torah as far as the major religions of the world they disagree with the fact that something changed and we don't and obviously they want to be the chosen people so this event happened it was a worldwide event all of the Nations knew everything everyone knew millions and millions of people witnessed it millions and millions of people as you'll see from the verses in a few months in uh in um during the event of of Mount Si it didn't say only that we heard hashem's words so that we saw his words we saw his words in the sky how do you see words yeah last time that you spoke to somebody did you see his words no right I never saw anyone's words unless it was a subtitles on the television So In This Book used to be called uh the coming Revolution now is changed the science comes of age by RAB zir Cohen there was a uh scientist that came out and tried to figure out how can we see words how can we see sound so he did some research and he found something very very interesting he used a specific type of machine and he found out that if you speak the Hebrew letters Al G those the machine that's a sound machine draws the words you know how you ever see for example you go to the hospital and you see the machine that tells you if somebody's alive or not right so similar type of machine voice waves yeah voice waves so it's a instead of it showing you know doing the triangle or whatever other shape that it's doing when he said these words it would actually the the shape would draw the actual Hebrew letter amazing amazing other languages not so much not English not Chinese not Arabic not anything else only the Hebrew language so when Hashem told us that we saw his words finally after a few thousand years about 3,300 years later we found out how it's possible we saw the sounds so it's a very spectacular event Hashem did this to give us the Torah that was part one part two is the mashiah is the end part two cannot be that much less than part one at the very least it has to be just as big just as Grand if not even more because it's the climax do you ever see a movie and and you know you see and you know the middle of the movie is as exciting as it gets but then in the end they say oh okay I'll see you later buddy okay and they shake hands and they go away no if it's an action movie at the end there the biggest explosions same thing so when the mashia comes it's not going to be any out it's not going to be oh is he a mhi is he not a mashiah is he from kabad is he ashkanazi is he safarik do you think he's Lithuanian do you think he likes me none of that stuff mean no question and that's one of the things that we have to understand is that the mashia is something that's going to see whatever truth we have in our life he's going to see it without us we're not going to have to we're not going to have time to plead he's going to see our truth and he's going to see our lies and one of the things that everyone of the sages from kazal all the way to Our Generation all agree with is that we're in a generation of the mashiah in the old generation of even 500 years ago everyone always believed that the mssiah is going to come but everyone always knew that there's a certain amount of time Hashem built six worlds before this one this was the seventh world the final world each world lived for seven days of the equivalent of hashem's days which is 7,000 years this one same thing but thear says that the mashiah is going to come on Friday evening right before Shabbat but not Friday evening like we think like he's going to come maybe this week tomorrow right before Shabbat comes in Friday evening in hashem's time hashem's time according to David said his one day is a thousand years for us so now we have 5776 we just have happy New Year so that's 1,000 years is one day 5,000 Thursday the 776 we're already into Friday we're already into the point where Shabbat about to come in we don't have 7,000 years we don't even have 6,000 years 6,000 years already deep into Shabbat It's The End already it's the end of the first day of Shabbat it's the end of Friday meaning that 776 Shabbat is about to come in there's no more time you can't rely on you know what I heard this one time this Rabbi say that if I screw up hasm is going to do a gig for me and I'm going to come back and fix it we can't rely on gulim anymore according to theor of this generation you can't rely on gim anymore we don't know maybe the it's not enough time so so the reason why we're saying all of this is not to scare anyone into do anything that they don't want to do it's to get everyone to realize where we stand to get everyone to realize that it's time to do chuva it's time to wake up it's time to stop making our own rules right now with this is our appeal process is coming up our appeal process is coming up but what we don't understand especially some people that have been doing Chua for a few years that sometimes like for example when I first started doing chuva honestly I'm telling you this you know it's I would tell you I'm not exact I'm not a dumb guy but I honestly felt like hashem's going to talk to me I honestly felt like if I I continue praying read I'm praying I'm doing started keeping Shabbat I I'm doing everything I possibly know I'm doing it I honestly felt like Hashem was going to talk to me like he talked to Moses I really did I'm like I'm praying so hard I'm crying to him my prayer talk to me Hashem answer me that's what I really felt and he didn't talk to me at least not the way I thought but sometimes you do chv you get into the religion you learn a little bit of T you're already thinking oh you know what I'm keeping a few already I mean him we have the same site we don't realize there's so much to do not just for ourselves for our surroundings in our we say right God is the king he's ruling now God you ruled in the past and God's going to rule in the future it's a little bit of out out of order it's out of order why does it say the past present future supposed to be past present future but no it doesn't say it say now he's me and he was the me and he's going to be the me why there is a change because right now right now we have to realize if we said that was the during they okay he was the M fine doesn't not related to me if we say he was going to be the M 100 years from now okay when I get there I'll worry about it but you say hem is the me right now oh is is relevant to me today hem is watching whether I do or whether I do in the morning the right way or whether I do he really really cares if if before I eat a a bubble gum I'm actually going to do he really cares that's what hasm means hasem is here now so now that we know that hem is me now that now that we know that he cares about what's happening now then it's good to know that he's always been and he always will be during a time that we stand right now with Yip coming up since none of us know and I'm sure you guys are much more righteous than I am I'm still in my Chua process I will be doing CH for the rest of my life I think that's what the sages say you're supposed to do cha every day I think it's a good idea but for me I know that there's so much that I need to do as part of the chuva not that I was this Hitler or anything like that but there's just so much that I need to do because a very ambitious guy I can't just do standard in the business world I couldn't be the guy that makes $100,000 or $150,000 a year and lives comfortable if I was going for it I would tell my employees if you make if you come work for me and you make anything less than $400,000 after 2 years you should leave the business leave the business all together don't even work for anyone else don't work for me don't work for anyone else you should leave the business no tell me why what if I make 250 it's a good money I make 20,000 a month it's not bad technically it is I said I said it's not so it's not worth the time it's too much aggravation there too much headache there too much liability who needs this Sarah in your head go go be a teacher make $50,000 a year you live much more comfortable than a guy in the investment business worrying about people's money every day for $200,000 no if you're going to do it you have to already make decent money which to me $400,000 was decent money at my Peak I was making $5 million a year so $400,000 was a month's paycheck but for them it was good but just a few years before that I was $35 away from being homeless so again I'm a very extreme guy if I'm going to go I go for everything same thing with with Judaism I know that there's unfortunately nearly 80% of the Jewish people today don't know what Shabbat is they don't know the significance of Shabbat I don't believe that there's one Jewish soul in our generation that actually believes in the Tor and still violates Shabbat no way it cannot be you can tell me no no I have plenty of friends know what Shabbat is and they violate Shabbat all the time there's no way they know they may know that the concept of Shabbat they may know that in Shabbat there's these strange religious people that wear black and white and wear these hats they don't work and they go to this place they call a betet they don't really know what Shabbat is how do I know because if you actually knew the risk someone is taking by violating Shabbat if you knew which I was fortunate enough to study a little bit of it if we really knew we'd be scared to leave the house we'd be scared to move the punishment for Shabbat is worse than anything else it's worse than murder it's worse than anything else meaning the guy that's a sniper for the mob shoots people six days a week but keep Shabbat gets less punishment than the guy that's driving on Shabbat to D to which I know in New York I don't think we have too much of that but in Florida where I I live now unfortunately there's a lot of it people somehow rationalized that it's okay to drive to besset cuz it's 40 minutes away and they don't want to live next to the B nesset because it's not next to the beach they're driving to the big nesset and unfortunately we don't have enough FR bites to tell people the truth cuz they're scared people are scared so I'm not scared because I don't really care I care about the truth I care about saving people so I'm going to spend the rest of my life trying to save as many people as possible I'm going for the 80% that hasn't been saved yet I'm going to try to get as many of them as possible that's my life mission I don't care about money I don't care about work I can go get work I could do whatever I want to do in the world I don't want to do any of it not that I'm uh special or anything else I want to save people why because I know that if I didn't know and I was this close to writing my own first class ticket to the worst place we could even imagine many other people also don't know there's no way that they know there's no way that they know and they still they're still going on that uh on that train so when we go into Yip we have to realize that we don't know where we stand we don't know where we stand it reminds me of a story a 7-year-old girl goes into a jewelry store and she goes into to the jewelry you know you see a jewelry store 7-year-old girl comes to the jewelry store and she says oh to the babay she says oh I want this chain chain happens to be $1,000 $1,000 7ye old girl it's a little weird okay honey do you have you have money she goes yeah yeah yeah she's very excited she opens our Barbie wallet and she takes all these coins and dollar bills out she goes yeah I've been saving for a year so the owner counts the money he says okay there's quarter there's pennies there's 5 cents there's a few dollar bills there's one $5 bill in there okay $14.27 we're a little short so before he tells her listen honey go away he's a nice guy nice kosher Jew he tells her honey tell me about this chain do you why do you want to buy this chain who are you buying it for say I'm buying it for my sister why are you buying it for your sister cuz I have an 18-year-old sister and because my mom and dad died and they're not here anymore she's taking care of me and my seven brothers and sisters wow and she doesn't have any friends and she doesn't have any time and she can't go to school and she can't do she stopped everything just to take care of us every day so I thought about this and I see her every day trying so hard I said I have to buy her something nice so I've been saving since last year since last R I've been saving to buy her this chain he says well good news is you have just enough to get the chain and he gives her the chain so the little girl goes home and she brings this chain and what do you think her sister see says when she sees the chain she thinks she stole it come on she knows she doesn't have $1,000 wait did you get this she takes her by the hand she takes the chain runs to the jewelry store I'm sorry I'm sorry goes no no sorry I'm sorry she took it from me no no no she paid for it full price what do you mean she had $1,000 tax says $1,000 he goes well listen some people pay me by check some people pay me by credit card some people pay me by cash but this was the first time in 35 years someone paid me with a full heart so it's paid in full that's the Mas the is during r we come to hasem not asking for $1,000 chain we ask for a million doll chain a billion dollar chain we want paasa but not just P like the teacher we want paasa like $5 million a year we want the best wife we want the best kids we want the best car we want the best house we want we don't want to have a cold a cold is too much we want everything we come to Hashem we want the whole jewelry store but what are we bringing in few meets what we did here and there okay I gave this guy a dollar I gave this guy 20 I gave I said Thank you to some lady we come with a few quarters If we're honest with each other our me vote in comparison to what we can really do not just we have to do but we can really do at our full potential if we're really looking in the mirror we have some quarters and some pennies and some dollar bills we don't have the full price of what we're asking for so what do we do about it we can't come up with all of these mitv over the next week so all we have is our heart all we have is what we're going to do with our heart over this next week when you pray pray with all your heart don't say oh no it's not Yip so I'm going to pray I'm going to pray 15 minutes do I'm do that's good enough come on I did it not so much okay I'm going to give him what do I have okay $2 the other pocket has a th000 but the $2 sounds better right now all we have is our heart we don't have enough for what we want if we didn't want if you don't want anything oh okay then you know what you're right no there's no such thing there's no such thing as a human being who doesn't desire says you give someone 100 he wants 200 you give him 200 he wants 400 400 he wants 8 it continues forever no man will ever desire less it's part of our human instinct it's part of the that's in us but the could also be good you could also use it for good no one says that we have to be living in a corner and be this miscan this uh you know someone that's a kit case you feel bad for no you make money you make good good living good for you but what are you going to do with the money are you buying a Ferrari fine you want to buy a Ferrari buy a Ferrari but what about the what about the that's about to close down what about that barely has money to feed his eight children what about the that's trying to build up there's a lot of Torah here you want to build it up what about them what about the MIT what about he gave it to you give him a reason to continue all we have right now is our heart when we arrive at Yip we want to use that heart don't be one of these people that's speeding through the just to get to the end and keep keep asking the rabbi every 10 minutes when's the fast over fast over this is Judgment Day this is the appeal this means we could very likely have already screwed up in the first one this is the appeal Shalom if any of us go to a real court for for a speeding ticket a speeding ticket you're going to tell the uh judge judge when is this going to be over I gotta go hang out with a few friends we're having drinks when is this trial going to be over we have to use our heart by using our heart obviously you have to use our brain too this is what we have this is what we have it's all we have it's what we don't have enough we don't have enough I definitely don't have enough and it's not that I know your but I know that it's very very difficult for anyone to have enough because the more they have the more they desire the more they know that their potential is more also one of the things that I realized that you know through learning t one of the amazing things that distinguishes the tah from everything else that I've ever studied in my life I've studied physics I've studied chemistry I've studied Finance I've studied psychology studied a lot of different things always like to study the amazing thing about Tah is that the more you learn the more you realize you know nothing the more you realize there's so much more to know of course you learn 10 hours you got that time you got the you got more information it's not that you know less it's that the more you learn the more you realize how big the Torah world really is it's endless it's endless whereas everything else okay study a few books of psychi Psychiatry or psychology or math okay you study one book five books 10 books eventually you get the basics that's it you know it I studied up to college level of math I know that I know that much math that's it it's not that much more Beyond it with Tora it's endless this is why you see like rash all theim around the world that are studying non-stop the same sh they've studied already for the last 80 years and they finish it constantly they finish the and they finish the uh all the uh uh you know the entire Tor with all of the all of theim everything constantly reading the same thing over and over again why because every single time they read it over and over again they find something new and not just one thing lots of things that I know and that's one of the things that was the best proof for me personally about the Torah the way you read the T you know obviously we have but if you study the par study the CH you'll find something amazing every time you start the CH you study it not just read it like in sh and you know just going through it but study the par you'll find there's not only something in the par that's relevant and it's teaching us about what's happening in a world today but if you study enough you'll find something specific to you you personally at the time you're reading it meaning you you read let's say was my personal story you want to know my personal story of a lot more details than I'll be able to cover tonight watch sh number 45 was done a few weeks ago a couple of weeks ago that was my personal story with a lot of details one warning is that it's a very very very strong Shield meaning it's not uh no fluff it'll shake you up it's great he watched the I guess that's why you see it today but it's a strong sh it was my personal story but when you read the par every you find something specific to your life at that time so you read this here if you studied enough you found something about your life you read it again next year you find something new about your life at that time that's how you know also it's one of the ways you know and you can test it as yourself this week's par next week par and so on you'll see that this is the difference between a Divine book and the man-made stuff that's swamps this world so as far as now that we covered a little bit of T I'll tell you a little bit of my story that got me to where I am today and try to cover some to through it I uh we came to the United States from Israel when I was 10 years old and since the uh minute we landed in in the United States I uh started working we had you know newspaper routes as a kid then worked at clothing stores flea markets was already into the business world but I was always very focused on studying and being good at school anyway I was uh in the electronics business for a little while when the electronics business was good um like most uh syrians and pretty much every Jew that was alive at that time uh in America and we did that for a little while made some money and you know then I went uh and uh left the business continued some school and then decided to go back into the business world and I decided to go into the investment world now the investment world is very different than the uh retail world because in the investment World unless you know someone then you're pretty much going to be the [Music] Coan you know uh unless you know someone then you're going to be the guy that everyone's going to eat off of but you're not going to eat yourself so I got into the business not knowing any of this obviously I was a young kid I think I was 18 years old when I got into the business and [Music] um went to work for this one firm and uh left a short while later then I went to work for a second firm and the guy told me there's no paycheck you just work off of commission and I'm thinking oh great so I'm used to making a few thousand a month and commission selling electronics and other things so of course I'll be making uh I'll making that in no time little do I know that that's nowhere to be found and I think uh uh my best month for the first year and a half I think was like uh either 11 or $1,200 for the whole month that was the Sal that's what I had to live off of but you know you were already in so you thought you always saw that the results of your work was making everyone else Rich he was buying a Porsche and a car and the jewelry and more jewelry and everything you could possibly imagine so you're figuring that okay I'm my my turn is next you don't know when it's going to come but my turn is next only to realize that after you're already doing it for a couple years that your turn is never going to come you have to leave and start somewhere else to fast forward a little bit uh finally when I I went to I left to another firm I went to a company called Raymond James a decent sized firm and uh after being played around with for the first few months that I was there uh similar to the other firms that I was with they finally let me start my own uh I guess allow me to do my own thing and start building my own clientele and one of the encouraging thing for them to do that was that September 11th just happened so people were leaving the business clients had no interest whatsoever in doing business and this young kid wants to do it sure let him oh and by the way you have to pay me about $42 or $4,500 a month for rent and other things so it's not like they were taking any risk on me or anything they weren't that nice but I believed in myself the only thing is that you know my my confidence was also uh was good for business but uh not necessarily very good for life as far as sharing things with people and then having uh getting help when I needed so during this time that I'm not making any money I'm not asking I'm not telling anyone any of this so it got literally got to a point where I was $35 away from being homeless and every day I would have to ask borrow a from this guy Dimitri to buy a donut and coffee from one of these uh trucks at the corner in Manhattan and that was my food for the day uh and I would have to uh sneak on the bus every day and hope that the guy doesn't throw me out when he finds out that the metro card that I told him that I have I really don't have and this was my life for a little while so this was right after this is September 11th pretty much for the F for the next six or eight months no probably around eight months or so this is the pretty much the way I'm living I'm uh pretty much just a uh trying to survive losing everything you know friends don't want to talk to me anymore my family I was pretty much trying to stay away from uh because I didn't want to tell them the truth uh relationship that I had uh was being destroyed which is good because she wasn't Jewish um and uh but pretty much I believed in this dream so much said I said all this has to work this has to work eventually Hashem had some mercy on me and uh it started working and in November of 2002 so about a year or so after I started I got my first big break one of my investments worked out in a big way and uh company Nextel and uh I made $177,000 for the month so $177,000 for 20 something year old kid 21 22 21 years old kid 22 years old kid at the time it's a lot of money was the most money I ever saw so I uh you know this was the greatest thing ever but little that I know that this was just a beginning from that moment on money started pouring in clients started pouring in I became the the next best thing every investment I picked started working out every uh you know every client wanted to do business with me clients would call me telling me that they had extra money what could I do with it you know which never happens invest in business you have to pretty much beg people to to to invest with you in a nice way you're not you don't call it begging but in reality that's what you're doing you're pretty much convincing people you're selling people to invest with you so when someone calls you says Hey listen Ron my wife has an extra $400,000 that just matured from some Bond do you have some place for her that's that's how that's how it was and how do you feel if you lost that $400,000 for her how would I feel terrible awful I never wanted to lose anybody any money that wasn't the purpose I tried to make the money money sure it happens I don't think anyone necessarily ever intends on losing money other than crooks Crooks don't care I wasn't doing crooked business I was trying to do kosher business and just do it in my own way and it worked in the beginning it worked really well for a while it worked it worked so well that a year later I became uh the third largest producing broker in the country for that company which had about 5,000 Brokers guys that were in the business for 25 35 years were behind me I was number three and they were you know far far beyond so the next thing was that I was going to start building up my own shop so that was the next thing two August 2003 I started building my own company started hiring Brokers assistants analysts and so on continued making big money I think it was in 200 uh yeah actually 2003 or 2004 my biggest month for that year was $600,000 and for the month um uh yeah from that moment on from 2002 on my average for the next u i mean I doing in 15 years I guess um I guess for 2002 to 2010 I think my worst year was 300,000 which was the first year and the best year was uh what I took home was a little over $4 million um and but it was an average a good month A bad month would be like2 $300,000 if it was if I didn't work be a 100 and good months could be best month I ever had was a million6 it's printing money doing it legit not stealing not uh not cheating not lying I could have made a lot more money if I did the Crooked way a lot more money I could have probably made uh you know5 $10 million a month instead of a couple hundred, but my nature was never to steal lie or do any of those things I try honestly try to do the best I can make people money and for a while I was making them a lot of money and myself too the one thing that I didn't realize is that even though I believed in God it wasn't exactly the same God that was in the toah it was my own version of God meaning that it was a convenience God when I needed him i' pray but as far as keeping the mitvah that he said I didn't know most of them existed and the ones that I did know I didn't necessarily know how significant they were Shabbat that was my busy day that was the day that I would have meetings with people or I would go hang out and you know just have fun because the rest of the week I was working 16 18 hours a day you know no you know you don't just walk into as a 20-year-old guy you don't just go and start making millions because you're a lazy guy he's working non-stop was first guy in last one out uh sleep you know 3 4 hours a day and you know non-stop work but I forgot that there's a source for this money there's a source for this success there's a source for all of it and for a while I honestly thought that I was Untouchable and I was really the one making it yeah I believed in Hashem to some extent and I gave some and I donated a SE and I help to besset and stuff like that but if you compare what I made versus what I gave you should have taken the money away a long long time before that and that's what tells us that even though in the days of the BET mikash giving s giving 10% was an obligation you had to wasn't a uh wasn't like oh do I give it or not you had to in our generation giving M since we don't have a mikdash even though technically is supposed to be an obligation it's not enforced anywhere near as much by the big sages the big rabbis that we have in our generation as it was in the past but there's two things we do do need to know about m one it's the only thing that you're allowed to test AEM with meaning no one can say listen Hashem if you're real then appear to me or talk to me or uh give me some type of sign not allowed to do any of that stuff but what you are allowed to do according to hashem's words himself in the Torah is that you're allowed to test them with M you're allow if you give 10% he says you give 10% and you will will be rich in your life he doesn't say time he doesn't say listen if you give 10% this year you'll be rich next year he doesn't give you a time frame but he does say that you will be rich and this is one of the tests you're allowed to test theem and actually encourages us to test them and this is 10% of profits not 10% of gross meaning that if let's say for example just for argument sake let's say someone makes $55,000 a month but they have $4,000 in bills so obviously the 4 ,000 in bills real bills not bills like the you know bookies and uh and uh vacations you know $4,000 in rent mortgage insurance food stuff like that real bills not personal huh personal no not well personal business business well personal even your mortgage is your personal or uh or your uh you know if if let's say for example if it was just business and let's say for example and someone has just the business expenses but technically has a uh a mortgage that's more that's just as much as what he has you can't give M he won't be able to live you can't make yourself poor in order to give St up so as far as you know it's it has to be your real bills your net real bills like the things you need for to for survival so not the vacation to the Bahamas not the uh you know the things that you don't need but you know the things that you do need after let's say you have $4,000 in bills you have $1,000 left from there you get take give 10% 10% for but of course you have to make sure you give it to the right place you can't just give it to anything you have to make sure you give it to the right place the right you know if it's a synagogue you know it's a right it's a good synagogue you're not giving it to some reform Sho or something like that if it's a to a specific person obviously it's always preferable to give it to someone that's learning to off versus someone that's just lazy or doesn't feel like working you know you have to make sure your investment this is an investment it's not uh you have to understand that charity you're not doing them a favor they're doing you a favor by taking it because the beneficiary of the charity is the one that gives it not the one that receives it why because p is from sh it's not from you hhm doesn't need you to give the guy he's going to get it one way one way or the other whether you give him your or not hm is going to give him he's not going to make him starve because you decide not to give himaka he's not the whole world is not relying on your let's we have to be real so which means that hasem is going to give him and you and everyone else even the ant that's trying to survive every day and doesn't stop working that literally gets food 24 hours a day and within the first day she gets enough food for a whole life first day but she continues working every day for a six-month lifetime so Hashem is going to give her PESA he's going to give you P he's going to give everybody PESA so which means that when I give someone I'm the only one really benefiting of course you have to have a if you get St you have to you have to show you know kindness you have to be grateful and so on but again as far as as far as what's going on sh the one that gives is the one that benefits the one that gives is really technically supposed to be the one that says thank you because he's getting all of the mitv it's you have say in the prayer every day it's the Torah mean its supporters are the beneficiaries shouldn't it say it's receivers the ones that receive the are the beneficiaries no like we said is going to give the money anyway the invest ERS in the Torah they're the ones that benefit they're the ones that get the real benefit because now they're adding some now they show up to Hashem I did something with this money you gave me $100,000 I did something with it you gave me a million dollars I did something with it I'm giving you a reason to give me more there's a story about an old man you may have heard it before old man worked really really hard but barely had enough money to survive but never complained always just worked hard one day he's in the field and he sees someone looking at him and he notices it'si says to him listen hasem has sent me here and he told me that uh it's time for you to have a break I'm going to give you a fortune but you have a choice it's either you can get enough money to live the rest of your life comfortably just enough to live your rest of your life comfortably or you can get you could be the richest man in town but for one year he says hold on a second let me ask my wife so he goes and asks his wife and the wife says tell y to give it to us now all everything now okay so he goes to oh yeah I want all the big money now no anties I want everything now say so how do I get it he goes go to the market buy one of these big jars and you'll figure out the rest so he goes into the market he buys one of these big jars takes the jar home opens the jar he sees it's full of gold poof he became a rich man okay a year passes knocks on the door he says okay hasem has sent me and he says says that it's time for me to deliver the second part of the promise which is that I have to take the money back he says hold on a second let me ask my wife so he goes he asks his wife and his wife screams again he goes tell the to tell hem that if he has someone else that gives more than 50% of their money for than to give everything to them but if not leave it with us tell of this say one second let me talk to Hashem talks to hhm he comes back says your wife is right you keep the MS point of the story is that you have to give hem a reason you have to give hem a reason I didn't give him a reason I gave him a reason in the beginning I try to do a few nice things but it always has to be proportional to what you have when you're giving when you're making a 100 and you're giving 10 good it does not difficult to give 10 when you make 100 it's difficult to give a 100 when you make a million it's difficult to make to give 500 when you make 5 million that's when the real test is but we can never get to that test if we don't trust him with the first 100 so as things got bigger as things became very Grand and uh very successful I stopped giving Hashem a reason and also I wasn't doing the rest of what I'm supposed to do and what I agree to in Mount Si just like all of you did you all agree to the do the Torah it's not a matter of choice it's no actual free choice there's no free choice where listen I'm either going to do the mitv or not going to do the mitv I have a free choice that's not really a free choice because unlike free choice that we think is free choice which is like I'm either going to go to work or not go to work Torah is very different if I go to work I get paid if I don't go to work I don't get paid Torah is different different Torah says if you do the mitv you have endless reward endless reward in this world and next World eternity o just amazing things it's so amazing that there's only very very little description of it in the Tor it's so amazing there very little description of Allah why because it's beyond our understanding how do we know he says if you take all of the good of all of the people that ever lived since the beginning of time till the end of time and you combine all of their good together it's not even one hour of for a righteous person not even one hours how can you do not even the sniff nothing nothing nothing nothing so how can you imagine something like that we think something good is uh I don't know winning the lot or something we think something good is uh getting a client right we think that's what we think is good we think winning the lot is good we think getting a brand new client building a new business being the guy that uh I don't know founded Google or something I know we that's what we think is good there's no concept of what good is really bad we do know what it is because we have a lot of examples of it unfortunately in this world soem is telling us that if you do good there endless amount of good you don't do good you don't do anything that I tell you it's not a freee choice not like if you don't do your break even no such thing it's either or meaning that you do good you have you don't do good you havea unfortunately you have endless bad so free choice would say that if I don't go to work I don't get paid the real choice that we have is that if we don't go to work if we don't show up if we don't do mitv forget about if we do sins if we just don't do the MIT there's no such thing as break even then we then they send a hit man and beats us up all day that's that's the that's it's not a free choice so we have to understand that right now we have an opportunity of a lifetime to get closer to hem we have an opportunity of a lifetime to identify with hem to such an extent that he gives us a reason to give us good we give him a reason to give us good you want P give him a reason whether it's make him a partner in your life make his will as if it's your will and he'll make your will as if it's his will give him a reason give him a reason whether it's whether it's whether it's a anything that you're doing you have to get stronger and the reason why he try to cover a lot more of the Tora stuff than I try to cover my own life number one because I've covered it before anyone that's interested can watch but even more so than that is that my life is not as necessarily as relevant as what we all need to do myself included most of the time I'm reminding myself of what I need to do the story continues with making a lot of money eventually when I ran out of time and Hashem said okay great you gave some money but you're like uh you know you're not giving enough you're not doing enough he gave me a few tests first it started with slaps started losing a little bit of money I didn't pay attention I thought okay listen I've been on a seven-year run 8-year run where everything was turning you know from dust to Gold okay you're bound to lose at some point what's the big deal so I got a few losses didn't pay attention few more losses didn't pay attention Health was deteriorating a little bit tests got bigger now it went from slaps to punches didn't pay attention and then I got November 18th 2006 the very same year that I made the most amount of money I made in my career was the beginning of the end but the end happened like that one day everything changed first it was Health my health went from being a relatively healthy guy with more money than I know what to do with and apparently a lot of friends they're not around anymore but I had a lot of friends with all this money it tends to happen tends to happen um in November 18th I had a elective surgery that was supposed to be one of those surgeries that you go into the hospital and you leave the hospital the same day for something I didn't really need but it was something that annoyed me once a year I'll spare you all the details I woke up out of the surgery screaming non-stop apparently the the uh morphine and any other drug they tried to put in my system to calm me down didn't work my body didn't um didn't accept any of it I never did drugs in my life I like my brain too much so when I first tried drugs which were legal because it was in the hospital trying to stop me from screaming and asking people to kill me um my body didn't want to take it eventually it stopped and I went home had a sh sandwich thought that it was over it was a bad experience for a few hours no one listen to me to kill me so it's good said okay it's over bad experience I went to sleep I woke up about 45 minutes later worse screaming worse pain than what it was before only a little bit of a difference this time I didn't stop for days the screaming yelling didn't stop for 62 days 62 days of G in this world 62 days of the longest amount of sleep was 15 minutes reason why is because every 15 minutes whatever pain pills or pain medicine or whatever numbing or anything they could possibly do would wear out no longer than 15 minutes and after 15 minutes I felt like someone took a sword and started cutting me up into you know into put me into a uh store sell me up as a c cuts it wouldn't stop eventually after 62 days Hashem had mercy on me and I thought that it was over it was never the same but I thought relative to what I've experienced the last two months I felt like I had my life back I couldn't really walk as well I couldn't really move as well to but nonetheless I wasn't screaming so for me pain was fine just not screaming pain still didn't get this was the first big shot I still didn't get the sign I still didn't do Chua I still didn't pay attention to the details and find out why is this happening to me every person with a little bit of rationale and a little bit of logic would have already asked why is this happening who is causing this there's no such thing as bad luck there's no such thing as luck mazal is a figment of our imagination it's only relevant to the go only to some extent in general in general everything and anything that happens in the world because hasm wills it whether it's something as disturbing as the story you're hearing right now or much much more disturbing the a as the Shah you know the Holocaust or MIT or the countless other disasters that have happened to our Jewish Nation Hashem wills it hasem makes it happen so let's not fool ourselves and think that oh no it's just bad luck or bad people no such a thing even the Holocaust which people that lived during that time or know that someone lived that time try you know unless they're religious they refuse to believe it was already Prophecy in the to the oral T and the written T prophesies about the it's you use Torah codes all the words that are relevant to the Holocaust are in that param all of them Hitler his sergeants the guest Chambers the uh uh everything everything everything you want everything related to the Holocaust is in that Paras what is that parasa about the curses of what happens to someone who violates what hasem what Hashem asked us to do Hashem is giving you everything in the world and instead of doing what he asked you to do you use what he gave you against him what is he going to do say oh okay it's okay you're a nice guy what that says okay if you do what I say you have you don't do what I say you that's the that gives you the details of the in in the in the oral tah one of the places that's amazing I think is in in a um says that you know yov is begging hasem as a prophecy don't give the power to asav of Edom ad is in essence the go don't give him the power at least take some control of it like you do with you know with a big you know a strong bull always will have a ring around his nose why because if you put a rope around him you're not going to overpower the uh the bull if you uh you know if you pull out his tail he's going to kick you one way to deplete his power is by putting something around his nose CU he has no control over it it's it's one of those spots that's too painful for him to not to be controlled so he's saying at least I understand that nation of Israel is going to sin and you have to give them a punishment and Edom is going to be the tool but at least have it like you know have it controlled don't let them destroy him just like gmania of ad gmania gmania is the Hebrew way of saying Germany the interesting part is at the time that the gar was written Germany didn't exist Germany only started was only founded about 800 years ago thear was written nearly 2,000 years ago 1700 years ago 1600 years ago correct me RAB if I'm wrong a thousand years before Germany was even an idea we have it in the gar literally not like theor theoretically we have it literally and not only that how is Germany founded there was 300 Barbarian Nations that came together what does it say in the the nation of Germania has 300 princes meaning it's combination of 300 countries so it's not only telling you the name he's telling you exactly how it's going to come up a thousand years before it happens doesn't get more literal than that but nobody wants to read the nobody wants to read nobody wants to read this stuff they want to blame l or bad people or unfortunate or so again my story is important for you to learn from not that anything will happen to you or anything like that but we have to understand that when you say Amen every time someone does a say Amen someone does Kad you say Amen someone does you say Amen every someone they say Amen what does amen mean ask yourself what does amen mean other than the obvious that you're agreeing with the a is in essence an acronym for God the king that's reliable that you could you know whatever he says he's Dependable he's going to do it he's not joking around he's not like us what we say one day but maybe we could change our mind two minutes later no no Rabbi promise you whenever I get my next check you got it oh no don't worry about that that the that we need I got it oh that in Jerusalem that needs money the next paycheck as soon as I get this next deal I'm going to do it and then when the next deal happens no no I need the Ferrari better or I need the car better I need uh but you know we forget or when the guy says listen as soon as I get rich I'm going to hire you or as soon as I do all the promises empty promises that people make that's why it says make yourself a rabbi but buy yourself a friend doesn't mean buy yourself a friend why make yourself a rabbi if you're buying the rabbi meaning if you have to give the rabbi money in order for him to be your Rabbi then the rabbi is going to have a very very diff difficult time telling you the truth if he's not a real Rabbi which the the test of money is a very difficult test I myself have failed it miserably before doing cha it's a very difficult test kazal themselves say that money is one of the most difficult tests there is not less not no money a lot of money having wealth is more difficult than being poor it's a bigger test so when you say but it says that no money is involved meaning of course you could support the rabbi support the things like that but meaning that it's not a relationship purely based on money because if it is then the rabbi is going to have a very hard time telling you the truth telling you listen by the way got to keep Shabbat by the way that uh non-jewish girlfriend you have you can't be with her by the way I saw you talking during prayer can't talk why because if the rabbi is worried like unfortunately in some places that I've seen of course not here but some places I've seen Rabbi scared to tell people the truth oh no no listen he's he's a good guy I know he drives to besset but he's a very big support of the besset as if as if him giving money makes it okay for him to uh you know to get out of free jail get out of jail free card like when we were little kids we play Monopoly like him giving some oh he's it's okay that he's according to the Tor it's okay it's fine no don't worry about why you want to murder fine just give a million dollars for that come on it's what happens can't so when the rabbi is purely depending on the money it's very hard for him to do it it's it's too big of a test for Every ordinary RAB of course of course there are some rabbis that withstand those tests and they're good and they're righteous but based on my experience based on experience of other people that I rely on it's too difficult of a test for most rabbis to pass which means that the Torah the sages were right already when they said the rabbi that's going to be the rabbi that you rely on it cannot be based on money so what does it mean have your friendship by your friends just like the friends I I was telling you about a few minutes ago when you have money you're going to have a lot of friends now if you were foolish like I was and you're thinking that they're really your friends it's only a matter of time before you they let you down it's only a matter of time that when you go to the surgery no and no one shows up when you're in the ICU the Intensive Care Unit for two weeks and no one shows up when you show up to the office no one even acknowledges I even had a point where at some point in my career I had uh a few employees that weren't happy with how much money they were making and they couldn't uh blackmail me into doing it so what they decided to do is that they wouldn't say they would ignore me in my own office they wouldn't say hello to me or anything so imagine somebody coming to your house they live in your house but they don't say hello to you even if you say hello so this is people so I came into the relationship thinking that they you know I had friends I didn't think about the money I thought okay I have I have money so okay let's buy stuff and I have money you don't have money I'll give you money what the big deal kazal is telling us something different is telling us if you already get into the relationship already expect that with his with his friend it's based on money so don't be surprised if he leaves you when you don't have any money this is obviously one of the many P there more deep that you could study every one of the topics that I've mentioned you could study every one of them deeper but this is just one perspective of it come to that relationship thinking okay I'm going into this relationship only because it is based on money because you have a few dollars they don't have money already expect that if the money wasn't there he wouldn't be your friend because that way you won't be disappointed when if it ever happens and that was the the thing that was happening to me is that AEM was giving me slaps and then punches and then a real true beating and I still wasn't getting it I still wasn't looking for the source why is this happening to me I always thought that it's only a matter of time for it to be over I was very optimistic my nature is to be very optimistic always thought that things will improve and I thought that this is going to end eventually without me doing anything but it's just going to end if I was going to do anything I'm going to go to more doctors so 9 months later I get a worse situation this time they don't let me go home this time I'm in the Intensive Care Unit for a few weeks this time they say that if I didn't come to the day that I had I probably wouldn't have survived another day so I thought that during the first surgery during those first 62 days when I was bleeding out of my eyes and infected ears and couldn't move and couldn't uh was peeing blood and pretty much every bad thing you could imagine was happening to me my whole body was being destroyed I thought I was enough nine months later I find out it could always get worse and eventually I leave still don't ask any questions still don't do TR still do anything still think oh it's going to be over soon so about four or five months later I'm back in the hospital pretty much for the next several years seven years 24 hours a day 7 days a week pain some days worse than others seven years seven years seven years of pain 24 hours a day s years of going to the doctor at least a few times a week over 50 different doctors different practices everything from traditional medicine to Alternative Medicine everything from you know surgeries to injecting uh steroids vitamins ozone uh which is purified air um everything you can imagine I had money so anyone that gave me a solution I'd give it to him the money is not worth too much when you can't live and during those seven years as I was not getting the gist money started going too and the friends started going too and one of the things that I always think about as far as money is concern is that people don't understand how little it's really worth if you get anything from what we talked about today this is one thing I really want you to understand we spend our life chasing money that's the material world that's why the calls money blood Bloods plural meaning like if when you when you when you when someone is supposed to have a death penalty death penalty because they sinned they violated Shabbat or they did something else Hashem gives them the benefit of that way it gives them more time but they still have to get a punishment still have to get a punishment there's no there's no such thing as no uh he's just going to forget about it someone that says that hem is a v meaning that hm is not going to punish us for our sins that we going to make unless we do chuva is he a heretic he's going against the Torah so sometimes the punishment is in this world so when someone has technically a death decree in sham then then the punishment that they get is loss of money big loss of money in because money is the equivalent of life because we spend our life chasing it we spend our life chasing it so sometimes you're going to see someone that's nice guy and a uh everything it looks good but you know something bad happens to them somebody uh you know robs them or they lose big money in a what they thought was a good investment or uh different things they just see a a unusual loss it's not bad luck it's not the it's punishment it's outright punishment but it's also the best thing that could ever happen to them which is the reason why if you ask me do you miss the days where you had all of that I would tell you not only do I not miss it losing all of it was the best thing that ever happened to me it's many it's many years later and a lot more to later but why do I know that it's the best thing that ever happened to me because it was either the money or health or me not Health me in General Life the health part was the last thing Health was first then was money and then it was life and that's usually what happens the last thing that usually happens to someone before they lose their life if there's a decree in sham for them to lose their life early is a big loss of money so technically when someone has a big loss of money it's actually the best thing that can happen to them because having no money or less money but being alive is a whole lot better than having $25 million but your estate has it because you're not here anymore you understand so huh it's a it's it's one of the one of the acknowledging all of those things is the first step trust me for a long time I wasn't like this I wasn't happy about it I was nowhere near happy about it I was the most miserable person you can find I was angry I was upset I was uh in a bad way I had no health no friends lots of enemies money was going faster than I could uh even imagine losing money that you would think that should survive a few Generations let alone your own life and you don't even know where it's all coming from but eventually since I was a very stubborn guy eventually I started looking for a reason eventually I started asking for the source eventually I started asking for like a little eventually I started asking for a reason rationale of what was happening and that's when I started getting a break meaning I started learning a little bit of tah I started getting interested into it and a big miracle happened when I was really at my worst you know Hashem promises not to give us a test beyond our Ability Beyond one that we can handle so I guess I got to my limit and one day I call uh my mom actually before that my mom saw me in bad health and all of that stuff and she decided to like every other Jewish mom she has a phone book full of rabbis names so she calls all these different rabbis from Israel here everywhere to try to get a please help my son help my son but during this special day no one answers all of a sudden all of the rabbi phone numbers don't pick up here Israel and everywhere So eventually she gets to a number in Israel and a woman picks up and she looks she asks for a specific rabbi's name and the woman says no there's no Rabbi by this name it's a wrong phone number my M lives in New York she doesn't live in Israel so it's a long distance phone call and she's been calling for hours and no one picks up the phone and eventually she finally gets a unb to pick up the phone but just to tell her that it's the wrong phone number so she she breaks down she starts crying and the woman on the other phone says dois which is my mother's name my mom goes into a sh and says how do you know my name and she says well I know your name because you're my aunt but I have no idea how how you how you called me and my mom says well I don't have your phone number you've never spoken on the phone before how did I get to you says I don't know how you got to me but if you got to me obviously hasem has a reason she was her niece who her uh which is um her father is my mom's brother and he's a rabbi very religious man and very amazing person and uh she asks my mom why are you crying and she tells her the story my son my son my son and says well if you're looking for a rabbi why don't you call my brother RAB he a big and he happens to live next door to RAB was still alive at the time so she says uh oh okay will you talk to me yeah of course you're the famous ant from America of course so she calls a she calls a f he's of course at the but his wife reaches him and he calls her back and if and I have never met when I left Israel he was still a baby so she talks to a and a is amazing and he's listening to her and he says well he asks him well does he speak Hebrew because a doesn't speak um I refer to him as a even though he's a rabbi because it's a personal relationship but he RAB soim a uh asks her does he speak Hebrew she goes yeah yeah he speaks Hebrew but when he speak to me she goes no that I don't think so he doesn't speak to anybody anymore I was I became very antisocial at this stage of my life at that very moment when she says I don't think he's a to speak to you I called her first call I probably called my mom in maybe a year and a half I called my mom and I hear her hysterical on the other you know she's on the other line she's hysterical and she says talk to him talk to him and I said talk to who I talk to a like who's a talk to a he's your cousin from Israel like okay whatever whoever you want me to talk to I'll talk to him just stop crying tell him to call me and I'll talk to him FR calls me and we hit it off right away for an hour and 40 minutes I tell him a problem and he shows me a source in the tah he told me the story of Tamal and Judah with a lot more details he uh and a lot of other stories and different questions I would have it was a nice conversation next week we talked for three hours called me same day Thursday at 4:00 we talk for 3 hours the next week was 5 hours and the next week was 7 hours and from that moment on it was every every Thursday at least was a seven-hour conversation pure Torah and non-stop questions and hasem he's one of these special people that not only has the answer but has the answer with it Source on the spot page number verse and everything else that's along with it in several different places and when you ask him a question like Oh you mean the question that so and so asked 827 years ago oh and it says is one of something that was unbelievable to me and in the beginning in the beginning I I you know I didn't even understand what Torah wisdom was I thought that you know I thought I was smart people thought I was smart so especially when you have a few you think you're smarter than you really you are and but when I met him I realized that that's what smart is but I still didn't realize what smart is because I didn't know toah I didn't know the the wisdom of tah and that's one of the things that is important for us to recognize toah for what it is because unfortunately in our generation and we almost finished in our generation we don't really know what we don't really know we think someone learns someone becomes a rabbi okay so he took a test took an insurance test it's like a driving test oh someone learns a little bit of every day okay yeah so I read the newspaper every day what's the difference if someone has true Torah knowledge that's why when you asked about the uh the crowns his crown is the biggest his crown is the most important why CU Torah knowledge is something beyond anything that weeren even used to to give you an example of what I mean there was one time a guy that had a uh son and he a kosher guy and he said listen I uh want to send my son to Yeshiva his wife says no in those days they used to send the kids away to ISA no no way I'm going to miss him too much I love my son it's my only son I want to keep him home you have some extra money you're in a jewelry business bring a tutor to the house he says okay let's go ask the rabbi he asked the rabbi Rabbi says yes you do have some money your wife is going to have too much hardship if you send the son away bring the rabbi to the house that's it okay so he agrees to do what the Rabbi says in those days people respected the rabbis and he brings a rabbi and for the next 20 years the rabbi comes and teaches the son every single day tow nonstop the kid never leaves the house he's learning to all day 20 years pass the rabbi comes to the father and he says listen I've taught your son toah for 20 years he knows at least everything that I know probably even more if I spend another day in your house you're just wasting your money even though it's going to affect my P I'm not a I'm not a thief I have nothing to teach your son he knows everything everything that I know at least the father's happy the mother's happy the son says ABA I'm going to go check out I want to go outside for the first time go check out the shook the the market so he goes into the market and he sees a lemonade stand and he ask the guy for lemonade the guy asks him for a dollar or a l the voice says I don't have a I give you a I can teach you a little Torah in exchange for this uh lemonade the guy grabs the lemonade from get out of here you crazy Torah guy you and your Torah I need money we don't pay you with Torah in this world the kid gets so upset he runs to the house takes his hat takes his keeper throws it oh I wasted my whole life 20 years I'm learning Torah I can't even get a lemonade with my Torah his father sees him and he says okay so what do you want to do he goes ABA I want to be like you he goes what do you want to do I goes I want to deal diamonds okay ABA goes ABA was a smart man he wasn't a fool he goes into the safe he opens the safe he takes his biggest diamond he says okay son I believe in you but I need to take it one step at a time don't sell this diamond just go into the same shook going to the same Market and get me three prices for this diamond okay kid so excited I got a big diamond I'm going to go make some money he goes into the market first guy offers him 200 L goes to the second he writes it down second guy 700 L wow big difference he already feels good about himself oh the second guy is really into it third guy 1,000 L he's so excited he runs to the house he's Aba I think we got him this guy really wants to pay a thousand go okay hold on son go to this other shook tomorrow it's other shook get me three prices from there before we sell before we give it away for a th000 let's see maybe we can get a better price he goes to the second shook second market and the first guy says 50,000 L second guy says 20 50,000 L and the third guy says a half a million L the kid doesn't know what just happened what is hit him he doesn't understand how could it be this day I spent the whole day looking looking looking I got a thousand today the first one was 50,000 by the end of the day I got 500,000 what's happening here he goes to his father he goes ABA I don't know what's going on but if you don't sell it to this guy for 500,000 I don't know who we're going to sell it to he says son we're not going to sell to any of them but I wanted to teach you something the first shook the First Market you went to there was a lemonade Market when you show them the the Diamond they thought it was a rock they thought it was nothing so they gave you a th000 for it it was a nice rock they think it was a diamond they didn't think any they don't know anything about diamonds they know about lemonade the second Market those are diamond dealers they know the diamond so that's why they were willing to give you full price the same thing with the Torah the Tor of 20 years you know a lot of toah you are a diamond but when you went to the First Market what do they know they know nothing they don't know what toah is so you want to give you even lemonade for it but if you go to people who know Torah they'll give you the diamonds for your Tor that's the thing we have to know with tah knowledge we don't truly know what it is unless we have it a little bit of it a little bit of it every one of us can get a little bit of taste of it every day 15 minutes a day an hour a day two hours a day whatever we can get you have to you have an obligation to learn T every day anyone that wants to see mashia anyone that wants to go to ganed anyone that wants to have needs to know needs to know for sure without learning T mashia doesn't come without it you have we have no we we have no right we have no that's that's our ticket no learning to that's your ticket it's like you're saying okay I I have a ticket for but you know what I'm GNA leave it at home T is a ticket doing kindness being kind being good don't make the same mistakes that I made and think that we're in charge of our don't wait for tests like I got learn from this you from the little bit of experience that I told you little bit of details that I told you but more importantly learn what the purpose is right now we have y That's our appeal we have to use our heart cuz that's all we have it's what we don't have have enough second thing is when we're giving give the right amount don't be one of these guys that has EMP empty promises oh when I get rich I'm going to give the 10% but now I can't give the 10% even though I have profits don't be a hero don't be one of these guys that has empty promises because you're opening not only opening you're making a whole table for the Satan he's going to interrupt he's going to do everything he can to make sure you don't give it he'll give you the money the Satan will even give you money just to make sure you make a sin that's how much he wants you to work for him and the last but not least if you see someone that has Torah that has the does what this Rabbi bash is doing bringing different people here what people like RAB M do which is do K nonstop people that are truly giving you honesty not lies not nonsense not fancy stories not the stuff that oh no everybody's a tadik everyone has a share of the world to come none of that stuff talk about people tell you the truth people they only work for the do and only do the truth most rabbis won't invite people like me why because if you see any of my shim they're no softer than this and this is not exactly a soft Sho a lot of rabbis don't want that why because they oh no it's too hard you're going to scare them Rabbi that knows that he's he doesn't even ask who it is why because he listen if he has the truth I want to hear the truth whatever truth he has I want to hear it there's no boundaries no listen by the way don't talk about Shabbat we don't talk about Shabbat here oh don't talk about you know different right you have Rabbi gives you the truth you have many others that I'm sure you know because I saw rabbii in this in this place also with you guys so I know he's he's a he's a guest here I was here yeah I was here I was one of the guests so I know you have the truth here this is a place to be a part of when you have Torah knowledge you have everything you have a ticket to Gan you have a ticket to you have a ticket to not not even worry about yum because why when you have Torah knowledge you already know that you're going to pray with a full heart we all have we all have good holidays prosperous year and bring and good things enough enough every day to bring the mashia