Shiur Torah #94 HaShem Took His Million$ Back and Gave Me Emunah Instead!

[Applause] Amen. Amen. Amen. We have an amazing amazing group. Thank you for coming. Also, thank you to Sadi. Thank you very much for for organizing this whole thing. We're going to have a of course. Thank you. So, it's a uh it's it's you see in today's world, you have a rabbi like this that's right in front of me that is willing to tell the truth. In today's world, you can't find too much of the truth, unfortunately. And one of the main reasons is because we live in a world that is politically correct. Unfortunately, politically correct doesn't make people do chuva. Doesn't make people do chuva. Why doesn't it make people do chuva? Because when you're politically correct, you worry too much about people's feelings. Now, if I came in, I told you, listen, you're all sadikim. Everything is fine. No one needs to do anything. Just give a little taka and everything's fine. Everyone's going to leave. say, "Wow, he has a very good business." And you're going to go back to your life and nothing's going to change. But if I'm going to tell you what God said, and what God said is a little bit different, what God said is a little bit different than what most people say. What God said is a little harsher. What God said, a little stronger language than everyone's sadikim. God told us last week, last week's par said, "If you walk with my mitzvot," meaning if you take my laws everywhere with you, meaning that when you go on vacation, you have to be God has to be with you. You have to be religious. When you're home, you have to be religious. When you're in your business, you have to be religious. What does it mean being religious? Being religious means you have to have it's the foundation of religion is to have know that Hashem is watching you at all times. Now if you really believe that Hashem is watching everything that you're doing we'd act a little differently. But my story doesn't start with religion. My story doesn't start with the truth. I wasn't as fortunate as your rabbi over here. My story starts with Alma the Shikra. The world of lies. Now, the world of lies is very interesting because the whole time you're in it, you think it's the truth. I was surrounded by people that were not willing to tell the truth like you're but they liked money. I had a lot of it, which I'll tell you how I got it. And for many many years they came they collected and they said nothing and it cost me a lot. So I came to the United States when I was 10 years old which is about 26 years ago. I knew three letters of the alphabet because it was in a serial box ABC. But when you're 10 years old, you come to a new country, you learn a language pretty quickly. I liked studying. I liked books. And my parents unfortunately did not know that if you send your kid to public school, he automatically becomes a Not because he wants to, but just because that's his surroundings. When you see a bunch of kids, you know, when you're a kid and you see a bunch of kids, you're intimidated by them. You look up to them. You think they're all cool. You want to be like them. So when you see a bunch of Italian kids and, you know, Spanish kids and black kids and all types of other Irish kids with the crosses and the earrings and uh, you know, everything else and say, "Oh, wow. I want to be like them cuz you want to be you want to be liked." So even though I grew up in a house that kept some basic mitzvot, as soon as we landed in America, we became go We still did kush on Shabbat like most houses do, but we go play video games right after. We got a little older, we went to the movies. Got a little older, went to the clubs. I dedicated a lot of time to school. I was a good student. Started working when I was young. I think maybe I was 10 years old, 11 years old. pretty much as soon as we came to the United States. Always had some money in my pocket, helped the family out. By the time I was 17 years old before I went to college, I was working in the electronics business like a lot of uh Israelis and Syrians did at the time. I was already making $100,000 a year. So, I already knew what money was at a young age, but I also knew that I don't want to be in this business forever or even for a long time. So, I went to college. I went to Binghamington University. I had a 3.9 GPA. They considered me a talam in the secular world. After a year, I dropped out. Why? I was surrounded by losers. I saw no purpose of going to college. I already knew what I wanted. I wanted money. And the only reason I think people go to school is the only purpose for school unless you have a specific profession you're going after. If you're going to be an architect, you're going to be a doctor, you're going to be a lawyer, you're going to be an accountant where you actually need a degree. Otherwise, it's a waste of time. The only purpose for school in general is to teach you how to think. You're not going to use the history lessons you learned in social studies. The gym classes you took in high school are not going to help you in life unless you continue working out forever. Math classes you could probably learn just working at a grocery store or just use a calculator. So generally school is actually a waste of time for most people if you're not willing to dedicate yourself to a specific profession. Since I already knew what I wanted to do, I didn't want to be a lawyer. I didn't want to be a doctor and I didn't want to be in school for 100 years. I was already used to money. 17 years old, making a lot of money. I go to school, everyone is just smoking uh pot all day and going to clubs and it was fun, but it was a waste of time. So, I left and I went back to the computer business and uh started selling computers again for a few more months, made some more money, but then decided that it's time to leave. I have to get something that's better. Why? Because I realized that I didn't really like the business. It wasn't very uh the the most honest business in the world. Uh, but the second thing is that I realized that I had a cap. And when you're ambitious and young, you don't want anyone to give you a ceiling. I knew that the only guys actually making real money were the owners. And I definitely did not want to be an owner of a store like that. So, I left. I ran into an old high school buddy and he told me, "Listen, you should go into the car business." Said, "Okay, fine. Let me go into the car business." So, I go meet somebody in the car business and I uh have a meeting with the owner and he said, "Oh, come in. Come in." I told him, "Wait a second. Uh, you know, and I'm young. I'm 18 years old. I have a ponytail. I don't wait before I spend any time here. You mind telling me how much does your top guy make?" And the guy was taking back, he's like 50, 60 years old. He says, "This little kid asking, "How much does top guy make?" He says, "Uh, maybe like $150,000." Oh. I said, "Oh, okay. Thank you. I'm not interested. He said, "What? What do you mean you're not interested?" Said, "No, I'm already making a little over $100,000 and I'm already there for only a year. If your top guy making is making 150, that means he's here for at least 5 years. For me to wait 5 years for another 5 $50,000 is a waste of my time. Big head, naive, call it what you want. Ambitious." So then his friend told me, "I think you're crazy, but if you want, you can get into the business I'm in, but you're ne definitely not going to make the money that you're making now." Said, "What do you do?" He says, "I'm a stock broker." He says, "The guys that work in my office, my bosses make a lot of money. They make real money, but it takes a while." I said, "Okay, introduce me to them." I always liked business. I heard a little bit about the stock market. I invested a few dollars into it. Why not? I go into this office like if anybody has ever watched the movie Boiler Room, a bunch of crooks steal money from people. That was the office that I went into. And I saw I didn't know obviously about all the stealing and the stuff that they were doing. And I went into this office and I see everybody's young in their mid20s, early 30s. There's Ferraris and Porsches and all types of brand new cars in the parking lot. Everyone has a brand new suit that cost at least $1,000. I said, "Okay, I'm making money, but these guys are really doing it." So, I asked the guy, "What do I do?" He says, "Listen, you make some calls to prospect people. You don't make any actual sales. You have to study for a test and then you uh you start working." Said, "Okay, how much money do I make?" He says, "You make $250 a week. Make $1,000 a month, which is pretty much what I was making, you know, like a few days." I said, "Okay, no problem. Can I start tomorrow?" said, "Yeah, sure." Okay. So, I started working. This place was in Staten Island, New York. A month into it, I start noticing that things are a little strange in this office. I'm not making any sales. I'm just learning or uh asking people if they're interested in hearing from hearing from my or getting a package from the firm. But, uh a month into it, we had to start work early. We had to start work at 8:00 in the morning on the dot and leave at 8:00 at night. with I think about a half hour break a day. Long schedule, tough schedule, but you can manage. So, one day at 7:58 in the morning, I'm reading the Wall Street Journal cuz I'm starting to learn about this business. I got into it and uh the uh my boss gets into the office very angry and he looks at me in the office. He goes, "What are you doing? Get on the phone." Now, I have a little bit of self-respect. I don't like when people yell at me. So I told him, "Okay, relax. 7:58." So him with his Italian hot head, "Relax. You relax. Get out of here. You're fired. You're go home." Said, "Are you sure?" He was all pumped up and, you know, all gassed up. And I'm talking, "You sure?" I'm very calm and collected and not understanding why he's so angry at 7:58 in the morning. said, "Yeah, get out." So I said, "Okay, fine." I leave. See, the Satan works in the this lecture also. I forgot to turn on the iPad. So I um I leave the office. Maybe about an hour later, my friend calls me. He says, "Listen, he said you can come back." I said, "I'll never work for him again. I don't work for people that talk to me like that. Few days later I find another job, another brokerage firm in a city, small firm and uh the guy there is very ambitious, very hungry, much smaller office, only a few people. This first office had at least 100 people. This place only has maybe three, four. But he's very ambitious, very uh you know bold and very arrogant and he happened to be a friend of my brothers. So I go and I work I start working for him. Within a few months I start training other people and on the side I'm spending as much time as I possibly can learning about this business. I worked for him for the next year and a half, two years. After 2 years I realized that he's the only one that's actually making money. I'm only making at best maybe $1,200 a month. And he's buying Porsches and houses and jewelry for my family and everything in between. It's just unbelievable. And I still can barely survive. So after a couple of years of doing this, I decide that it's time for me to leave. We get into a disagreement. I walk away and I go back into the electronics business for a few more months. And then the firm next door, which was actually a big firm, uh, calls me and says, "Do you want to come back to the business?" One of the guys there offers me a deal. Says, "Listen, if you come in, I'll be your partner. We'll split. Well, you won't be a trainee. You'll actually be a real broker and you won't work for me. You'll actually be a partner." I said, "Okay, that sounds good. Before that, I want to get my own licenses and so on." So, I take my licenses. I pass the tests. And I start working somewhere around July of 2001, couple of months before a very interesting event happened in the world. July or June of 2001, something like that. So anyway, I start working and within a few days, I realized that my so-called partner is a very lazy person. I'm showing up to the office at 7:00 in the morning. He shows up some around 10:30, 11. He leaves at 3:30 or 4:00. I leave at 8 or nine. A little bit of a different schedule. After a month of working, our deal was that he was supposed to pay me $2,200 a month just as a draw until I actually start making money from commissions from all these clients that I'm bringing in. After a month passes, I tell him, "Okay, I need my money." And he tells me, "No, no, I hold the first check in case you screw me." What a nice guy. So the owner of the branch doesn't say anything. The rest of the people in the office who know this guy is not exactly the most honest person on earth don't say anything. They're politically correct. So another month passes. I say, "Okay, now you owe me $4,400. I've brought in 25 accounts, which is a lot considering pay my money." and he gives me a check for $81.12, a personal check, nonetheless. So I said, "What's this lunch money?" And he says to me, "No, this is this is what we earned from the commissions." I'm like, "This is not what we earned from the commission. Just from the accounts that I brought in, we earned a few,000." He goes, "No, but it had this expense and that expense and this expense and that expense, but it has nothing to do with our deal." He goes, "What deal?" I said, "The deal that you told me to get me in here. where you told me to you going to pay me $2,200 just to walk in as a draw and I'll pay you back cuz we have a contract. I said what contract? No, you told me you're going to give it to me. What do you mean contract? Cuz I don't remember telling you anything like that. As you learned from the rest of the story, money makes people do strange things. If you ever want to get to know someone, put a lot of money in front of them and they'll they'll mutate into what they really are. When someone doesn't have money, they're usually nice, unless they're very bitter. But when someone has a lot of money, suddenly gets rich quick, usually they become a little bit of a different person, the person they were when they didn't have money. So now this guy is obviously put me in a really bad spot. I'm at a point where I only have maybe $2,000 left in my bank account from the savings that I had. Not enough money to really survive for long. And I go to the uh branch manager and I tell him, "Listen, the guy screwed me. I don't want to be a partner with him anymore. I want to be on my own." He says, "Yeah, but you're too new and I'm not really sure I could trust you. And also just to just to work here, you have to pay me rent. You have to pay me for the computer. You have to pay me for this. You have to pay me for the coffee, the paper, the this." And he created all these fees. Minimum $4,000 a month. I said, "Okay, I'll come up with it." He said, "Let me think about it." Said, "All right, fine." He thinks about it over the weekend, over his break. He comes back from break. He says, "All right, you know what? Why do you think you should do this? Why should I let you do this? I said, ' Because I'm ambitious. I know what I'm doing. I work harder than everybody else in this office and I have potential. Says, yeah, but where are you going to come up with the money? I have no idea. Says, what's your intention here? I remember this question for the rest of my life because the answer was more interesting. I said, to buy you out. So, he's in the business for almost 20 years. I'm this young 20-year-old kid and I think I could buy him out. He was amused. He said, "Fine. You could start getting uh start working on your own after this break that we had before it for some reason." I said, "Great." I start working a few days and then September 11th happens. September 11th, put us out of work for a few weeks and then when we come back, this former partner of mine, I find out that he quit the business. A lot of people quit the business after September 11th. And uh now all of a sudden I have to build a business in the worst market in history. Said, "All right, this is a good opportunity." So I decided, you know what? I have to catch up to these old-timers. The only way I can do it is by working double as much as them. They work from 9 to 5. I'll work from 8 to 12. I'll start the day. I'll leave the house at around 5. Get to the office around 6:30. Do a little bit of reading. Start making some calls at 8. Continue until about midnight where I can't see anymore. Get back. Go out on the bus. Get home at around 2:00. get a couple of hours of sleep and there you go. Their two days will be my one day. Eventually I'll catch up. In the beginning it was very very hard because I didn't have any money coming in and any money that would come in went directly to this wonderful boss of mine. For the first six months it got to a point where I was living on nothing. all the money that I had left, I would start selling things just to pay the rent because I don't like to owe people money. But uh it got to a point where I had to borrow a dollar from this guy Dimmitri every day so I could buy a coffee and a donut and that was my food for the day. And every day I would sneak on the bus with a empty metro card and tell my b tell my uh the bus driver, "Oh, it's not working." Like I didn't know. And I'd say, "Okay, you know what? Let me check my bag. go get another metro card. So, I go to the back of the bus and fall asleep, praying that he doesn't throw me out of the bus when he realizes I'm not coming back. And this continued for about 6 months. After 6 months, I got my first break, started making some money, got to made $5,000 for the month. Next month, made about $7,000 for the month. The clients I was getting started get, you know, coming sending me some referrals. I was getting more and more clients, building the business. And eventually the one big investment that I made, I was investing everyone into the same thing. It ended up working out in the November of 2002, about a year after I uh started in a market that went down 26%. We made over 70%. And I made $17,000 in a month. That was the beginning. Got my first break, got my first big check. Life was never the same. Next month I made about 60,000. Next month I made about $180,000. And from then that point on a bad month would be about $75 to $100,000. By August of 2003, I became the number three producing broker in the entire country for that firm, which had about 5,000 brokers with an average career of about 20 years. I was only in it for a couple of years. I made my first million dollars of actually take-home money. So, I don't really know how much it was above that because I paid a bunch of fees and all of that, but I took home about a million. And then I decided it's time for me to go and start my own firm. I have money. I know what I'm doing. Why not? Hired a bunch of people. I started my own company. Every one of the companies that I've ever opened had my name on it. Reuven something. The first one was Reuven Enterprises. Then it was Ruven Capital and Reuven Strategic Wealth Planning and a bunch of Reuvens everywhere. So started hiring people, started building a business, and then it got to a point where a bad month was about 200 250,000. Was making a few million dollars every year. Gave some money to people that needed it. donated some money, bought a seaf throughout all of this time, keeping barely any mitzvot. I think any mitzvah I kept was by luck. I believed in God, but in my own version of it, which is like most people in today's world, we believe that there's a creator because we need him when we're sick, when we're poor, when we're hungry. But the stuff that he said, I don't know that much about. I don't have that much time for it. I'm very busy God. I need to work. I need to make money. People think that God has done everything, can do everything, created the heaven and the earth and everything in between. But when it comes to panas, no, he's limited. I need to help him. That's why they work on Shabbat. That's why they work overtime. That's why they spend their life chasing money and not even giving Hashem the opportunity to show you what he can do. Hashem tells you one major thing. I will help you as much as you believe in me. If you believe in me 100%, then I will give you 100% of your pan. Either way, everything he gives you. But when I say he's going to give you 100% of your pan, he's going to give you 100% of your pan without working. Money will show up. How I live like that and I have no idea of that are in live just like that for many years. Like my has been living like that for his whole life. He still can't explain how he pays the bills. And when he goes to the supermarket for Shabbat, he doesn't even look at the price and he buys everything in sight. Who's going to pay for it? That's Hashem's problem. I do what he wants. He says, "If you do my will, if you make my will into your will, you make my will into your will, you make his will into your will, he'll make your will into his will." He says it. So he says, "Okay, this is what I'm going to do. That's who I learned it from. It works." So then moving on with the story, Hashem sent me to Wall Street to become a big success. I thought he sent me to become the next Warren Buffett or the next Bill Gates or the next something big. If I'm already making a few million dollars in my early 20s, watch out, Bill Gates. By the time I'm 40, you're going to work for me. Little by little, I start adding to my friends collection. When you have money, all of a sudden, a bunch of people show up. They all want to be your friend. Anybody know why? I thought it was just because I was a nice guy. But for some reason, it had to do with the money. So, they come and every misken in the world, every poor guy in the world that wanted a job, I'd give him a job just because I had money and he needed a job. So, I give him a job. Some of them were terrible. Some of them were okay. Some of them were thieves. But I gave everybody a job. Little by little, the firm grew. I started training people. My main focus, aside from investing my own money, investing clients money, and doing research, my main skill set was a salesman. I was the ultimate salesman. I could sell anything to anyone at any time for the highest price possible and they'll enjoy it more than they'll enjoy it if they bought it for sale. I taught people how to sell. I created my own system and when the average broker on Wall Street was hoping for a $50,000 transaction, people were begging me to take their $500,000 because that was my minimum order in many cases. If you wanted to do business with me, you had to have that kind of money. If I called you and you offered $100,000, most of the time I would tell you, "No, I'm not interested." You make good money if somebody invests $100,000 with you. Make $45,000, make $2,000. It depends what you charge. For me, it was not I was not interested. And also was the most expensive guy on Wall Street. Most brokers like to discount their trades. They would charge 1% 2% but they would also churn the guy and constantly trade his account for, you know, just to create more fees. I would usually do one transaction every year, two years, sometimes three years. But my transaction was high because I figured that if you're investing with me, you're really investing for real. You're not investing just for me to make money. You're investing for you to make money. And it's going to take a couple years for you to make money. For all those years, you're going to give me a headache about this money you invested with me. I need to you need to pay me for it. So, I would charge and nobody minded. Anybody that did business with me was willing to pay me a uh transaction fee. Somebody sent me a million bucks. I'd take home4 $50,000 for the day, go home, sometimes work more. One day, a bunch of my guys went to a ski trip and I was the only guy in the office. I was going I told them I'll show up at the ski trip, but I actually have to work unlike you people. Somehow they didn't feel they needed to work even though they were my employees. So I show up to this ski trip said there was no business today, right? I said I don't know. I show you. I show them. Oh no, actually uh no. Today I made $26,000. This guy called me. Every one of them wanted to kill themsel cuz every one of them could have got the same call. So anyway, money was plenty and now I started getting fame. I went on CNBC, Bloomberg, CNN, started writing articles. Hashem, everything was going fine. But Hashem didn't send me to the world to do that. He didn't send you to the world to make money. Everything is mine is what Hashem says. Everything is mine. Which means if you want something, I'll give it to you. But if you don't use it right, I'll take it away. I'm only lending it to you. So if as I continued I started making myself feel better by every time every week somebody religious would come to my office at least two or three times a week I had an open door policy anyone that needs something could come to my office whether it was someone that needed money for rent or someone that needed money for staka they'd come to the office I would say on the average it was two to three times per week somebody religious would come to my office sometimes they'll tell us about sometimes they'll convince someone to do sometimes they'll just come to collect money but nonetheless they came. Now if we do the math I had the office for about 15 years but if we just use 10 years and instead of using two or three times a week we say once a week once a week 52 times a year is 52 times times 10 years 520 times which means that someone had 520 opportunities to tell me I'm a to tell me that my lifestyle is wrong to tell me that if I don't keep Shabbat Nothing else that I do matters. According to the in seven places, according to the Torah, the one we got from Mount Si is one of them and 11 other places. According to the GMAR, which is the foundation of the oral Torah, according to practically every single major rabbi that's ever written in history about Shabbat, even including the ones in this generation and according to even a simple book that I recently read by a rabbi, a very sad rabbi from Jerusalem named Ra Zaviki of Pinas. He wrote a simple book about this thick about the blessing of a simple blessing, the one that you say after you leave the bathroom. And also second secondary subject is the of when to say, you know, so is a very simple blessing. There's not really much to know about it apparently until you read this book. you figure you say after you but who says it. So when he said when he discusses this issue in this very very simple book at some point the issue of Shabbat comes up and he says of course if someone that says kadesh and he doesn't keep Shabbat no one says the question is why he says because he's a It's not considered Jewish according to Alaka and he gives you 50 sources. 50 simple sources. So if he's writing about something like this in a very basic simple book about it's not even about Shabbat. we find out and we realize that the of who's considered a Jew and who's not is common language for anybody that's learning Torah. So when someone like me or someone like Ra Mizi that's been doing it for 22 years or someone like is telling you listen if you don't keep Shabbat you have a serious problem with Hashem they're not kidding. This is basic level first grade Torah. People that don't like to hear that they're not considered Jewish according to Hashem because they don't keep Shabbat has nothing to do with me. I didn't write it. Hashem didn't ask me for permission. He wrote it. He gave it to Moshe. Eventually, I got it. I'm just telling you what he says. I'm a parrot. Has nothing to do with me. But if someone is going to write it in a in a book that's called a we know that this is common language for the religious people who wants to learn to we need to keep Shabbat. I didn't keep Shabbat. On Shabbat, I would spend my time going to the casinos, playing Texas Holde, playing with the best players in the world. the biggest game there was, they would when I would show up, they'd start a new game. Not really a good sign, by the way. But I was a good player because I had no fear cuz I had lots of money and I beat a lot of players. I played in tournaments. I won some. I didn't realize that I was stealing this whole time. Most Jews don't know that gambling is stealing. That's the problem. While my business was kosher, very kosher, did honest investments, honest fees, honest everything, my hobby was a big problem. Why is gambling stealing? If you're betting against, you know, you're thinking, "Okay, listen. I'm going to play Texas Holden with my buddy. He's my friend. We're gonna pay for 100 bucks. What's the big deal? It's just a bunch of friends. Not $50,000 like Mr. Ruben. It's not uh it's $10. The problem is that even if your friend has millions, millions and millions in the bank, but he loses even $100 to you, he doesn't really want to give it to you. No one wants to give you anything. Not from a loss. He'll lend you the money if you need to borrow the money. He'll even give you a gift if he has millions and he's generous. But he'll never want to lose it to you. which means that when you win that $100, you're stealing it from him. And there's one problem with stealing versus every other a every other sin. Even if someone found a way to be a righteous person, if they have stealing in their hands, when they show up to the door of Ganed Eden, they will not let you in. No thief has ever entered Gan Eden. No thief will ever entered. The person has to go back in a gilgul and come back to the to this life to this world and pay back the nama that he stole from. This is a problem. This is a serious problem because us Jews we like to gamble. Second reason why gambling is not allowed is because gambling is done in a place that's usually full of immodesty. Shalom. If you actually end up at a casino, what's there? It's not only not modest, but it's a full especially when the guy shows up with a keeper. Like I used to go and see people. All the all the fakeish guys with a nice hat and a pay and a black and white sitting in the same table next to me. Same same game. By the way, those people, if you ever see them, they're not real. If they're in a casino, they're just wearing a costume. Don't get taken back by anything. They just like to wear a custom. You wear a custom on, they wear a custom all year round. A righteous person belongs in two places or three. either he's studying Torah, he's at work to provide for his family, or he's at home taking care of his family. Casino is not one of those places. So place people like that have a special place in gum. Why? Because they're doing something much worse than stealing. They're making the worst possible sin in Judaism calledem. Someone like me before I became religious would justify myself because of them. I said, "Listen, I'm here. I'm not religious. I'm being me. What are you doing here? You're supposed to be this holy person." You get to know all these gamblers, by the way, whether they're professionals that you see on television or they're just a guy that's starting out. They're all degenerates, by the way. Every single one of them is a degenerate. Most of them do not have any money, even if they just won a $2 million tournament because they usually borrow the money from somebody else and they owe the money. They're all degenerates. And in general, 99% of them do not have any money. But nonetheless, us Jews are not allowed in those places. Last part of why gambling is not allowed is because Khazal says that if gambling was allowed, the world would go and become Sodom and Gomorrah. So aside from the immodesty which obviously goes against protecting your eyes which creates a lot of sins which we'll talk about tomorrow and aside from theem and aside from the stealing you're putting yourself in a very very big dilemma with hashem. So you have to stay away from those places. Now what do you do if you've already gambled or you already stole? You want to go to Ghana then you wanna you want to do chuva kazal already knew this so what did they do they implemented something from the Torah that all Jews are obligated to do you have to give it staka it's not a hobby it's not something that you should do it's recommended like you know the nine out of 10 dentists recommend this uh this uh toothpaste it's not that you have to give staka there's two forms of staka There's that every person has to give at least a something minimal. Obviously, if you have more, you should give more. And then there's mas is 10% of your net income after paying the main bills that you have. So, for example, if somebody makes $1,000, they have $900 in bills. You could just add a zero to those numbers. If you live in New York, you have a, you know, you have a $100 left, you give $10 m, you can give it for this. You can give it for you can give it for kiru. Give it for a righteous cause. Don't give it to just some any guy that's wearing a uh, you know, a uniform without knowing him. Make sure your m is an investment. Don't be a fool. Don't just give it to anyone. If it's a dollar, you don't have to research. But if you're really giving money, make sure your money's invested well. You don't want to, you don't want to be like this guy that I know, it's actually a very, very close relative of mine starting to do chuva. But you know, when you start to do chuva, you still have your past life with you. You actually had a card club. You had a card club. Very tough to leave that business. Especially when one day he sees a so-called religious guy show up black and white beard can sweep the floor like Ra Mizrai says the pay the bal will be proud. Only problem is the bal will probably throw him into gay not just for entering the club not just for playing in the game not just for that because what he was doing was taking out the checks of that people gave him and buying chips. He has a penthouse in Ghan. No, he does. Hopefully he does cha. I don't know how you could do chuv for something like that. Very, very difficult to do chuva without suffering. Serious suffering. Serious serious suffering. And that's what we're going to get into now. So now I have all this money. I have all these wonderful friends that enjoy my money. I have a nice hobby. I go to World Series of Poker. I play some games. In May of 2006, I have the best month of my career. I make $1.6 million in the month printing money. Making money was last year. This year, we're printing money. So, I decide to go on vacation. I go to Vegas for a month. play some games, have a good time. I still make about $200 $300,000 for the month at uh back at work when I barely work. Everything is good. Then when I come back home, kind of bored. So I figured, you know what? Let me start taking care of my health. There's this thing that's bothering me for the last 10 years that twothirds out of all human beings actually have. It's called hemorrhoids. This bothers me once a year. let's see what's what's the problem of removing it and never having it bothering me ever again. So I go to the doctor and the doctor says listen it's a very simple surgery you come you have a surgery takes maybe an hour two hours you feel a little bit of discomfort which in medical language means pain for a couple of days you go home you relax you go back to work on Monday so okay couple days vacation from work a little discomfort not so That's what I thought. When Hashem gives you all the money in the world and you don't do the right thing by him, he'll start sending you tests. Even when Hashem doesn't give you money and you don't do the right thing, he'll give you tests. As we all know, the world has changed. If you ask your parents, your grandparents, and you ask them, "How was the world when you were a kid? When you were my age, you'll never hear," no, it's the same thing. Doesn't exist. Why? Because we find ourselves, according to the Torah, in the time that we call the end of times. Anyone that watches the news for 5 minutes can realize the third world war already started. It's just quiet. Before Russia sent all of their planes and helicopters and jeeps and tanks, they sent a ship with 200 atomic bombs to Syria. Accordingly, they're saying that it's to fight ISIS. I don't know why you need even one atomic bomb for ISIS. So, whoever buys that story is a fool. If that wasn't enough, since that was September of last year, if the 200 atomic bombs were already used up, we need some more. So about two months ago, they sent a submarine that's the biggest submarine in the world with more atomic bombs than the original ship. We just don't know how many. This is also for ISIS. So we realize that this is not for ISIS. You don't need to be Einstein. You see that the United States is heating up every day. Everyone wants to fight. Israel is becoming the most hated country in the world on a regular basis. It's actually becoming popular to be anti-semitic. A recent study of just a couple of years ago said that over 40% of Americans consider themselves anti-semitic. This is our allies. Missiles are being shot at us in Israel on a regular basis. Jews are being beat up all over the world. Some of them being killed. I think there was a few incidents in Brooklyn as well recently. The world is not the same. The world's heating up according to the according to the prophecies that you can find all over the all over the book of Ezekiel, Zechariah, and also even the we have every single sign we need for the end of times except one, the Mashiach himself. If you go to the last page of the Gar page 49, it says, "These are the things that are going to happen at the end of times before the Mashiach comes." When you read it, which I did a few days ago in a in Staten Island, anyone that wants to watch it and get some serious yacht, but seriously get the truth and wake up, you listen to it and it's like reading the newspaper, the daily news. Everything they said is going to happen which was unheard of in those times is happening as we speak. So Hashem had to speed up things. He said my son I love you but you're you have all this money and you're justifying giving staka and helping people and you think that's enough. You gamble with the pasad that I gave you even though it's relatively to what I had. It was nothing. If I gambled $50,000 it didn't really mean much. But nonetheless, you do nothing for me. You're not fulfilling your purpose. And if you don't fulfill your purpose, which is learning Torah and observing it, I don't need you. What's my source? My source is the Torah. When we left Egypt, the next para after we left Egypt starts with the word. In general, any parad starts with the word means tal means sorrow. Why was in sorrow after they left Egypt, they just left slavery. Why would they be in sorrow? Because later on it says kamushim left Israel or left mit. What's kamushim? Kazal explains it. It's one out of five 20%. 20% of Israel Israel left Egypt. What happened to the other 80%. 80% died. Hashem killed him. Makosh, darkness, plague. But then there's an interesting midrash in Mame Liz. Mame Loes was written about 300 years ago by a genius, Rabbi Kulie. I highly recommend you buy the series or at least buy a few of the first books and start reading the series. It gives you at least five to 600 sources of whether it's zorim all types of things for every single verse in the Torah and it puts it in a story format. Go to nim.com. I do not own the company so I don't make any money from it but I highly recommend it. very very enjoyable series and according to the midrash and you know midrash is part of the oral tora it's part of the Torah we got from mount si midrash says no kamushim does not mean one out of five kamushim means one out of 500,000 which means that only two of survived Egypt out of every million 99.98% % died in darkness plague. Why? They didn't want the Torah. Hashem created the Torah 974 generations before he created earth, before he created mankind, before is even something we knew it existed. Which means that the purpose of the world is the Torah before the Jews. If the Jews shalom rejected the Torah in Mount Si according to Hashem would have destroyed the world instantly. No second chance, no chuva, no give it to another nation because the other nations already rejected it. So now we have ourselves a dilemma. Whether it's 80% or 99% is irrelevant. The point is that Hashem is not kidding. I didn't know this. So, I continued to work, continued making money. But now I'm taking the s having the surgery, this elective surgery that's supposed to give me a little bit of discomfort. Only now on November 18th of 2006, I wake up out of the surgery with a different body. My body changed forever. Something happened during a surgery that changed my nervous system and everything from my neck all the way down to the bottom of my feet was in pain. But not pain like you have a headache. Pain like if you take a knife and you just start cutting somebody open over and over and over and over and over again. A little bit like that. Oh, and there was also electric shocks, too. We don't know why. After several hours and the most amount of morphine legally allowed to give a human being, eventually I calmed down. Eventually, I stopped asking my wife and my mother to kill me. They released me. They sent me home. We had a We picked up Shuama on the way home. I hope it was kosher. I got home, I thought, "Oh, so that's what gayome looks like." Fine. I'm going to sleep. It's wonderful. Thank you very much everyone for coming. I'm going to sleep. I go to sleep and I wake up 45 minutes later. Only problem is that this time it's worse than the first time. And this time it does not stop. The screaming does not stop. Not after an hour, not after a day, not after a week, not after two weeks, not after 5 weeks, only after 62 days. For 62 days, the screaming did not stop for more than 15 minutes. I couldn't sleep. My body started dying. I started bleeding from my eyes and every hole in my body. I got infections everywhere. And no one could explain it. No one could explain a diagnosis. No one knew why I was screaming. And even later on when I tried to file an insurance claim because I had a disability policy, they rejected me. After 6 months of research saying it's impossible for that to happen. If you want the money, you have to sue us. I never sue them. Don't waste your time suing insurance companies. So after 2 months 62 days of wonderful experience of gay I eventually start getting back to my life. I'm only taking 20 painkillers a day instead of 50 or 60 start managing able to walk to some extent from here to the door which would take somebody normal about 30 seconds would take me about 30 to 40 minutes but I'm managing. I go back to work. Life is not the same. But I figure that I got a second chance. I still don't do chuva. 9 months pass cuz that's the amount of time that Hashem gave me to do chuva. I don't answer. He gives me a pain in my leg. I think I pulled a muscle. The next day I'm in emergency room, an intensive care unit doing a surgery that if I didn't come at that time and I would have waited even another hour to two, the infection that's inside my body would have blown up, gone into my blood system and would have died within hours. So I spent the next two weeks in intensive care units next to the people that are nearly dying. Some are actually dying. Their screams sound familiar to mine. After a few weeks, I'm released from the hospital. Lots of fun. Go back to the painkillers. I still don't do cha. 3 months later, as you've noticed, the time keeps getting shorter. This is one of the signs from Hashem when he's running out of patience for you. the signs and theata slowly disappears. If you do chuva when you're in your teens or early 20s, you have 90 to 100% to do chuva is easy. The beginning is hard to commit to Hashem is hard in the beginning to test. In the beginning, you do chuva, you have miracles on a daily basis. Mh. Miracles. I'm not exaggerating. I'm not a prophet. not anything. You do chuva in your early 20s, you have that's unbelievable. You don't do chuva, you get to your 30s, gets lower. You're now down to about 70%, maybe 60%. Becomes a little more difficult to do chuva because without hashem, it's nearly impossible to do chuva. So with less hashem, of course, it's more difficult to do chuva in your 30s. But then you have some see you have still at 60 70% it's still amazing but you skip you go into your 40s and 50s now you're down to maybe 40 50% very difficult do chuva you figured nah I still got my fun time today 40 is like the 30s I still got more time to party you get into your 50s and 60s then it's almost impossible you're maybe 20% 25% you wait until your 70s it's almost impossible for you to do cha almost impossible and even if you do chuva only a miracle will get you to get to a point to do a complete chuva cuz doing chba takes time you need to learn what you what to do can't do chuva one day like people think no I'll do chuva a day before I die isn't about that no it just means you should say sorry it doesn't mean that you're actually going to get the gun because you said I'm sorry means maybe hashem is going to give you less of a punishment a few less million years in gay. It doesn't actually mean you go to ganeden because you said I'm sorry. Okay, maybe I'll give you a gig. You get back to this world. But since we just talked about that we're at the end of times, who knows if there's going to be enough time for you to get back to this world. Don't rely on giguim. Reincarnation is not exactly reliable anymore in our generation. Mashiach comes in 5 years. Mashiach comes in 5 weeks. Mashia comes in 5 days. Somebody dies without doing chuva. Even if he's born on that day, what's gonna happen? He hasn't done chuva. He's nothing. Takes time to do chuva. Anyone's done chuva. Chuva knows. So now 3 months later, another infection, another surgery, another intensive care unit. My body continues to fail. A month later after that, another infection, another surgery, another intensive care unit. And this continues for the next seven years. For 7 years, I had pain 24 hours a day. Maybe once in a while, I would have a break where instead of a level 10 pain, I would have a level two or three pain. But I got to a point where I got used to pain. What most people would jump off of a bridge was was my normal. So now when you're in pain, you can't really function and work. You can't be this ultimate salesman you used to be. The money you have means zero because all I have in those days is many bottles just like this. Like five, six of them, which is antibiotics and painkillers and all types of things. I'm not taking them anymore. But just so you know, I had many, many of these. I have so many of them that I collection. I know the names. I know the doctors. I know the inventors. You become an expert. No doctor, this one doesn't work for me. He goes, "How do you know?" He said, "I tried it 50 times." But the other thing I have, something also very interesting that a lot of people like, is my nice gold business card. I only have a handful cuz the people yesterday liked it a lot. But anyone that wants it, I could send it to them. But a metal business card that's gold, but it's not obviously real gold. I'm not a fool. And that was my business card. How much is it worth? Nothing. Why? Cuz when you're in pain, nothing's worth anything. I spent hundreds of thousands of dollars on doctors, medicine. I become an experiment. I would go to over 50 different doctors. just to find a diagnosis. Not even a cure. I give up on a cure. I eventually tell my mom to stop blessing me cuz my mom believes in Hashem. She has a strong amuna. She lights candles. When she lights her candles, it's like 30 candles. I'll be bal and I'll be this and I'll be that. And she always says, "Please bless my son. He's dying. He's this. He's that." And every time I would talk to her, she'd give me this blessings and eventually one day I just lose it. And I say, "Ima, stop blessing me. God hates me. And if he doesn't hate me, he probably forgot about me." Now all this time, the same way the money came in, it starts running out. And those friends, remember those friends I was telling you about? They weren't my friends anymore. They became enemies. Start stealing from me. Start cheating me. Start stealing my customers. Start stealing stuff from my office. Take advantage of every single thing they can. Similar to an animal. I think it's called a vulture. So this continues for many many years. Life becomes gay. I want to end my life, but I only feel bad for two special women in my life. One of them being my wife and the other one being my mother who who wouldn't stop crying over me. And I knew that I would ruin their life if I died. But I got to a point where I couldn't walk. I had to use a cane. And uh I became very antisocial. I would see my parents maybe once every few months. I wouldn't answer any phone calls. Business was going downhill, problems were going uphill. All of a sudden, the government started taking interest in some articles that I wrote about them, calling them out for being cheaters and liars, started auditing my firm. And if even though they couldn't find anything cuz everything was kosher, I couldn't stop them from torturing me. And they pretty much parked in my office. After they finish one audit, they bring another audit. At one point, I think it was in 2009 or 2010 at six simultaneous audits. Six audits at the same time, which only firms like Goldman Sachs and Meil Lynch would have. And even they wouldn't have six of them at the same time. That was a tiny little firm. I mean, we were making money, but relative to the real firms, nothing. When Hashem wants you to get back to earth, he has his ways. And one of the things that I didn't realize is that the same one that brought me into this world is the same one that's doing it. He didn't forget me. He doesn't hate me. He's trying to save me. But as the pride of man will be his downfall. My gava was my skill set, my ability, my money. Why should I worry about anything? Hashem gave me something to worry about. Eventually, I gave in. I said, "You know what? I got to go to this guy. God answer my prayers. I started praying. Didn't work. I said, "Ah, somebody recommended this RAV to go to Shield Toa. All these religious people that would come to my office had no recommendations whatsoever. They just hoped that I continue give them money." still didn't tell me there's anything wrong with my life. So I went to sh every Tuesday in the beginning maximum I would survive 5 minutes 5 minutes fall asleep couldn't take it was very interesting but there was so many sins on my soul there's something called a kipa a peel a shell that's around your soul every time you you make a sin which makes it very very difficult for you to learn Torah when you have a lot of sins and a lot of impurity especially if it's wasting seed especially if it's major sins develop a shell around your soul so you can't learn Torah like you want to meet and everything else you give me a company I could tell you exactly how much it's worth you give me a business I'll tell you exactly how to fix it how to grow it, how to market for it in that world. I was better than anybody else I knew. Sure, somebody else better exist. I just didn't know them till that world 5 minutes. Next week, 5 and 1/2 minutes. Next week, capped out at six. So, I started forcing myself to stay up. I said, "You know what? I'm going to write down every single thing he says. If you keep moving, you have to stay up. So I started writing everything he says. This was Rab Pinto in the city. It's very interesting. But I still didn't do chuba here and there. I started doing giving some staka whatever I had. Money was running out the door faster than I can count. But anybody that needed help and I had some money, I'd give it to them. Never really meant much to me as far as money. It's like making it. But eventually the health again started deteriorating again to the point where I wanted to commit suicide. I got to my limit. Obviously, Hashem knew. And that's when the first miracle happened. My mom saw me in a really, really bad condition. And your moms know exactly who you are without you saying a word. She knew that I don't have much time left, at least not psychologically. So she decides to take one of these books that she has, these phone books that she has. She collected the rabbis names from all over the world with phone numbers and she starts calling every single rabbi in the book. For almost two hours, she's calling rabbis, but nobody's answering the phone today. Then she reaches a number in Israel, different country. A woman answers the phone. She asks for a certain rabbi and the woman says, "I'm sorry, it's the wrong phone number." There's no such rabbi in Hebrew. My mom breaks down and starts crying to the strange lady over the phone. And then Hashem shows us himself and the woman says, "Dollis," which is my mother's name. She says, "Who is this? How do you know my name? She dialed the wrong phone number in a different country and she got to not only a person that knows who she is, recognizes her voice, which is not very easy by the way, especially since she did never talked to each other on a phone in their life, but is also the only person that can help. And she says, "Who is this?" She goes, "This is Pina, your niece. How'd I get to you? I don't even have your phone number. We've never talked on the phone. She says, I don't know, but if you got to me, then obviously Hashem has a reason. Why are you crying? She tells her the story. My son is dying. I need some help. I need to speak to a rabbi. She says, "Why don't you uh talk to my brother, Rabbi Fry, a big kam, although very young, he's extremely accomplished. He's written six books by the time he was in his early 20s. He's one of the of he finished the sh four times before he was 20. This is somebody special. This is one of these people that's not from this world. It's not he's the wrong generation. Why don't you talk to him? These extra facts I added that I know about him, but she said he's tell I find out these facts later. She says, "Will he talk to me?" She goes, "Yeah, of course. You're uh Dodor is from America. You're uh the aunt Dori is from America. Of course, he's going to talk to you. You're a famous aunt from America. So, she calls Rabime is in call, of course, like that he is, but he calls her back and she starts crying to Raime. Now, I did not know that Rahime exists because when I left Israel, he was still a child. He was born maybe a couple years before. He's younger than I am. I didn't know he existed. I didn't know anything about him. And he didn't really know much about me. So he asked my mom, "Does he speak Hebrew?" And she says, "Yes, he speaks a little. He speaks Hebrew. Okay. So, can I call him?" She goes, "No, he won't talk to you. Bailey talks to us. Bailey talks to his own family." And at that very moment, which I find out later, I called my mom for the first time in years. The real reason of why I called my mom is because I figured that if I'm going to commit suicide, I should be nice to my mom for a little while. I got to my peak. Called my mom. My mom is hysterical crying and she says, "Talk to him." And I said, "To who?" She's hysterical. Talk to Aphra. Who's what do you want me to talk about? Why are you crying with him? What does a do that you're crying because of him? No, you can talk to him. He can help you. He can help you. I said, "Okay, anyone you want can just call me. Just stop crying." So, Raime calls me. He tells me the story of Judah and Tamal. I find it very interesting. I start asking him questions. Questions I had my whole life. And for the first time in my life, I get answers. But not just answers. I get answers with sources. If you ask me questions, sometimes I'll provide you a source. Sometimes I'll tell you I'll get back to you. But he was something different, a spot. And not only that, when I would ask a question, he'd make me feel good about it. I'd ask a question, he say, "Oh yeah, this rabbi asked the same question as you 852 years ago in this book on this page, this paragraph, and he gives me exactly what it says." Like, "How do you remember the page? Who thinks about the page?" I thought I was smart. This guy's was an alien. So then I ask another question goes, "Oh wow, that great question. Makes you feel so good." Like I'm like, "Yeah, of course I asked the same question." Of course. What do you mean? I'm from Wall Street. Of course I asked the same question as the Rambam. Little do I know that I'm closer to being a monkey than the Rambam. Oh yeah, this rabbi asked the same question 412 years ago on this page, this paragraph, this pedic. and I ask everything. So, first conversation was very nice. An hour and 40 minutes. The following week he calls me Thursday 4:00. We have a conversation for 3 hours. Same thing. Questions, answers, sources. Following week, Thursday, 4:00, 5 hour conversation. Following week, Thursday, 4:00, 7-hour conversation, straight whole time, Tawa, but questions about everything. business, money, dinosaurs, science, anything you can think of. I couldn't believe it. I was getting answers. It was like a high something like unbelievable. The pain all of a sudden was not relevant. I didn't care. I was in pain, not pain. It's getting answers finally. You're finally finding the reason for even being in this world. You're finally getting answers. getting answers. For anyone that hasn't gotten answers in their life, you have to try. As Hashem says to us in chapter 4, if you look for me, you'll find me, but only if you look for me with all of your heart and all of your soul. You can't look for Hashem like a cat. You look behind the garbage. Oh, he's not here. We're going to buy another one. It's not fish. You look in the aquarium. He's not there. I think maybe he died. No. Hashem is the purpose of life. Hashem is everything. You have no Hashem, you have nothing. Kill yourself to find Hashem. You have no Hashem. You have nothing. I had millions. I had nothing. With the millions in the bank, it's still having nothing. still being depressed, still being miserable every day. Reason why I worked so much is to escape the misery I actually lived. So now finally I'm getting answers and for the next 9 months this continues. Average conversation is about 7 hours. 5 to 7 hours usually 7 hours. I get into it so much. Everything I learn, I start to teach my wife. She loves it also. We're getting answers. We're asking questions. He later on tells me that he used to pray a special prayer before our conversations to have the answers. I said, "What do you mean have the answers? You knew the page number. You knew the rav you knew the year." He says, "But before you asked the question, I didn't know the question existed. I never asked the question. I didn't ask the same questions you asked. They never cared about that stuff until you asked it. That's what's called. You want, you want help from heaven, you want a special deal with Hashem, do kiru, spend time, spend five minutes a day. Five minutes. Everyone has raise your hand if you have five minutes a day. Everyone has five minutes a day. Five minutes. You have you're nodding. So I'll take the nod up. Yeah. Five minutes in the back. Five minutes. Five minutes. Everyone has five minutes, right? Okay. Yi. Five minutes. Okay. So, let me show you. I'll provide you a source. He likes sources. So, I learned from my teacher. I have to provide sources these days. We don't believe just the rabbis words or anything like that. I wouldn't believe me either, by the way. So, we go to book of Jeremiah. The prophet says what Hashem says. The book of Jeremiah 15:E 19. Therefore, thus said Hashem, if you repent, I will bring you back and let you stand before me. First part means your chuva is always welcome. I won't treat you as a second rate citizen. Even if you did idol worship, which is, by the way, in case someone doesn't know, it's the same thing as Shabbat. Someone that's Shabbat and someone that prays to Buddha or to JC or to some other cow and like they do in India or even in some cases to motorcycles. But I actually have pictures of people praying to motorcycles in India. They do. That's one of their gods. I have proof. One of my helpers lives in India. He shows me all these different types of idol worship. They have it's unbelievable what people pray to. So Shabbat idol worshiper same thing in Hashem's eyes to me. I love you anyway but Hashem it's more important than me. Shabbat idol worshipper same thing. Another source of proof. Notice every time Shabbat is mentioned in the Torah, idol worship right next to it. Right next to it, ten commandments, right next to Shabbat, you have to keep Shabbat. Fourth commandment next to it. Idol worship. Every single time in Tawra, check it for yourself. Don't take my word for it. Every single time. Why? To Hashem, the same thing. Same thing with homosexuality, by the way. homosexuality, which for in today's politically correct world, we have parades for them. We honor them. According to Hashem, it's not that they just deserve and all these punishments. But in Hashem's eyes, it's the same thing as beastiality. What's beastiality? Being with an animal. Man with a man, it's the same thing as man with a donkey. How do we know? Every time a Torah mentions homosexuality, mentions beastiality, same thing, same punishment, same exact thing right next to each other. In Hashem's eyes, it's not nice. You could have desires, but doesn't mean you have to act upon them. Yes, some people are born a little off. They have desires. I understand. I don't buy everybody's story but nonetheless let's say somebody let's just give him and say I have they have desires for the same sex or she has desires for the same sex fine doesn't mean you have to act upon it somebody has a desire to kill does that mean they have to kill as a matter of fact each one of you is created with a certain desire there are certain people that have a desire for blood a lot of them many millions and millions of people have a desire for blood but they have a choice choice. They can either become a murderer or a butcher or a surgeon. All three see blood and they're fine with it. It's your choice. Same desire, but you can use it in multiple places. I wouldn't recommend the murder, by the way. If anyone was thinking the second two with the right answer, most Jews prefer the third. The doe makes more money. So actually with kosher meat maybe not I don't know. So I start doing chuva I start listening I start keeping some I start praying I start crying I start realizing that I'm in a serious problem. What's my problem? Aside from the money being lost and running out of my life. Aside from all of my friends becoming enemies, aside from all of this disaster that I'm living, I realized that my situation at home with the love of my life is not okay. The only woman that would have ever stayed with me through this disaster was with me. The woman that dedicated her entire life just for me that should have left years ago was excited to be with me. Excited. I'm in pain. She's excited to be with me. Take care of me. Make me food. Clean my wounds, the blood. Gome that I was living with. Treat me like I was a king. Run my company. built my company. Anything you want. Genius. She says Ganed. But she wasn't Jewish. She wasn't Jewish. When someone is Jewish, he's not allowed to be with a non-Jew. Now, I always knew that, but I couldn't justify this being wrong. When people would tell me, "Listen, don't you want her to convert and have Jewish kids?" Said, "If she wants to be Jewish, she'll be Jewish. I can't tell her to do something I'm not doing. Not a hypocrite. And you can't just make somebody stop believing something. She had a pre-existing faith. Can't make us stop believing it. I used to make fun of it a little bit. I would call her religion remix. You know, Christianity the remix. But I can't tell. Listen, you have to do this, you have to do that. I'm not doing anything. But now we're learning to together start to ask questions. But then she says, "Yeah, but I can never convert. There's no such thing." Said, "No, no, I heard people convert." She goes, "No, I don't think it's I don't think it exists. That's how little we knew. We didn't know that the greatest baluva in history came from converts. Balan, the one my mom mentions 50 times a day, the one that's mentioned in the in every single page practically came from converts. preceding and foundation of our Torah both converts Moses is his wife Yeshua Benoon's wife converts some of the greatest people in all of history were converts so much so that you mention mention it in your every day. But not only do you mention in your but I'll actually show you something that most people don't notice. You actually recognize in your that a convert is higher than you natural-born Jew in your Amida foundation of prayer. Everybody knows what is, right? Right. You know, you say you're this part, right? It's towards the middle. So, so about the middle. So now you haveimidim, the remainder of the nation of the house of Israel, the scholars, the righteous converts and us. You notice something here? It goes in the order of importance. Closeness to Hashem. Sadikim, of course, Hashem's first class VIP section. at Sadik gets 310 worlds and reaches Malik. Who's Malik? Hashem's personal angels. After that has the which is the pious and so on and so forth. Eventually it's us. Hopefully we make it. But before us says says the righteous converts. But now going back to the issue that I almost forgot but had enough to remember this proof that you guys needed about Kiru. Who gets more than 310 worlds? Who gets to a higher level than Mal? Someone that spends time every day doing Kiru. How Hashem said here if you do chuva I'll accept you 100% you won't be second rate citizen but if you bring forth an honorable person from a glutton meaning you bring you make a bala then you will be like my mouth What is it like to be like Hashem's mouth? Hashem says to Kazal, "I created the heaven and the earth and I can revive the dead." You're the same as me. your prayers. Whether you're asking for a new job, a bat, an honorable wife, an honorable husband, good children, full health, more with your Torah, more with your That's just the beginning. What do you need to do? Five minutes a day. Start with five minutes a day. Kir you have CDs over here anyone that wants I have many more in my car give CDs out you have more time if you spend any time on the internet see lectures that are good whether it's my lectures Mizrai's lectures anyone else that you like that's really strong that tells people the truth press like press share who knows what's going to happen do kiru 5 minutes a day Shabbat comes out five minutes first five minutes before the cigarette, before the coffee, before the phone call, five minutes to Hashem. But every day, if you could do more, do more. It's a good deal. I wasn't a fool. As you can tell, in the business world, you can't make that kind of money when you're just a fool. I didn't leave the business world to do kiru for nothing. This is just becoming a bigger investment. It's an investment for a real world. spend time doing Kiru because Kiru is what saved my life. After I realized that we can't stay the same, we can't stay together, I couldn't bring myself to leave her. It's the only person that would tolerate me. So now I started learning about Christianity because you can't stop making someone believe something. Can't tell them, "Hey, stop. Believe this. It's not ice cream. No. No. It's bad one. Eat the chocolate. Can't. So, what do you have to do? If anyone's ever had a debate and you want to win, you have to know more information about their subject than they do. Not about your subject. Cuz your subject is biased. Your side is biased. They're not going to take your word for it. You have to know more about their side. Use proofs from their side, from their life, and you show them how they're wrong by using their own information. This is how the best lawyers in the world win arguments. This is how the best debaters win arguments. This is how politicians win arguments. This is how you win. You cannot win with your tools. You have to win with their tools. And then after you've gotten ahead, then you use your tools. Just strategy. Also good in sales, by the way. So now I start becoming obsessive not only with learning Torah but also learning about this they call Christianity. And I see that there's a lot of mistakes. There's a lot of contradictions. But I still think this point that yeah it's just Judaism is better. I don't think that it's necessarily Christianity is fake. I just think it's better. I think Judaism is better and Christianity is like second class. There's like mistakes in it. There's some guy that has some crazy story and for some reason everyone draws him with long hair and a beard. He looks like a rock star. I don't know. Whatever. They want to believe this crazy story. Fine. Still second best cuz you continue your Torah. Just go to the original. Why go to the remix? So I start becoming obsessive. I listened to this Rabbi uh Tobia Singer genius knows more about both the Torah of course and the New Testament than any Christian in the world. Any Catholic, any Christian, any scholar. He knows it by heart. He knows every puk. It's amazing. And he speaks fast like a Wall Street broker. I liked him. Guy was amazing. Full of information. I bring this to my wife excited. I'm, you know, it's like 5:00 in the morning. I'm as excited as I could get. I'm like a, you know, Einstein. And I bring her this thing and she shoots me down like a nothing. He speaks too fast for me. I'm not interested. I can't understand what he says. And I have to look up the verses. He He mentions 50 verses in two seconds. I can't read. I can't even hear or listen or write that fast. Not interested. So what do you do when you have no choice? You cry to Hashem. The Hashem that you just met for the first time in your life. You start crying. You start reading. You start praying with tears. You want your prayers answered. Start crying. Men, there's no shame in crying to Hashem. Women be in crying. It's good to cry to Hashem. Best thing in the world. That's how the prayer is. Why? Because when all of the gates of heaven have been closed, the only one that remains open, it's the gate for tears. Especially when it's coming from a mother, by the way. So now I cry to Hashem. I learn his Torah. Work is becoming more and more meaningless to me. Money never really meant much in the first place. But as I continue to lose money, I start caring less and less. But I need to find an answer. I find other debates, other rabbis, other proofs. I even have Rab Fry send me information. He even spent time learning this stuff just for me. He writes this whole journal, this whole letter of proofs against Christianity. I prepare this project for my wife and I'm like here I'm so excited. Usually it was like 4:00 in the morning and she's trying to sleep and I'm wired and I give her this thing or sometimes it's the first thing I give her when she wakes up instead of saying good morning it's like here honey I stayed up all night I prepared this thing for you just leave me alone what do you want for my life let me drink coffee wake up something I was You scan up. He says, I give her this information. It's nice, but it's not enough. You cry some more. You pray some more. You start fulfilling the Torah. You start fulfilling the Torah with the foundation of all of Judaism. The one major mitzvah we got before we received the Torah, right before Mount Si. Anyone know? Right before we arrived at Mount Si, we got a really big mitzvah. That's such a big mitzvah that without it 612 mitzvah worth nothing. such a big mitzvah that without it even if you found a patent to keep 612 mitzvot which is not possible because not everyone's a ken not everyone is a woman not everyone is a man not everyone has a bet mikdah so apparently none of us have it but let's say you found a way to keep 612 mitzvah but you don't keep this one single mitzvah according to kazal it's worth nothing it's called Shabbat. Start keeping Shabbat. Prayers start getting answered. One day I go on the internet and there's a recommended video for me. It's called the debate by Ra Mizrai. I watched this on my own and for the first time I realized that I was wrong terribly about Christianity. It's not second best. It's completely fake. It's completely man-made. Has zero truth in it. Nothing. I get excited. I bring this to my wife. I tell her, "You got to watch this debate. It's really good. It's this, it's that. She says, "Fine, fine. It's three parts this debate. It's like three and a half hours." All right, I'll watch one part. So, we watch this part. I have to convince her to continue watching this one part. She doesn't really like it even from the beginning. At the end of part one, I'm as excited as can be. I'm like, "Wow, do you realize what's what it's done?" says, "Well, the Christian is a and the rabbi is arrogant, not interested." But even though she's keeping mitzvah with me, she's keeping Shabbat with me, she's keeping mitzvah with me, and she thinks there's problems with she knows there's problems with Christianity. She always knew even before me her whole life she created her own religion but she never thought okay I could just create my own religion pretty much from this. After about a week of convincing and convincing and convincing eventually I convince her to watch part two. Part two is a little more convincing but still not enough. She thinks the rabbi is still arrogant. And the Christian's still a I'm running out of options. I try to convince her to watch part three. And until this day, she hasn't watched it. But something changed in between. So I try to convince her and convince her and convince her and our life is becoming hell. My pain continues. The money problems continue. The government issues continue. But one new additive that I never had a problem with, which is slow bite. We never had a fight until this happened. Now all of a sudden we're fighting every day. Not even about the religions, just about the fact that I'm being a little bit fanatic to convince her that there's something wrong with it. Because now that I found out it's fake, I'm not thinking about saving me or this marriage, I'm thinking about saving her. For me, it's nephesh. It's like someone's in a fire and they don't know they're being burned. Someone's about to drink poison and you have to stop them. So eventually enough tears, enough prayer, enough studying and less and less work, Hashem has mercy. And he sends me another video recommended. This one's called Torah and Science. Also by the same amazing, but until this point was known as this arrogant rabbi, which by the way, for anyone who doesn't uh obviously doesn't know the story from last night, she's Rab Mra's number one fan. She's watched probably every lecture he has. I would say estimate at least 85 to 90% of them. There's been thousands of lectures. But the Satan works very hard. He's not going to release you from a full-time job for him to go work for Hashem just so easily. So then we watch part one of Torah and Science. There's three parts. Anyone that wants to see it and hasn't seen it, I have CDs in my car. It's an amazing 4hour lecture about proofs of the Torah scientifically. We watched part one. At the end of part one, we're both amazed. Whatever belief in amuna I had went up 500%. Whatever belief in amuna she had also went up 500%. We've never seen the world this the way he proved it. Part one we press. It's 2:00 in the morning. We press on part two. Satan as I said he works really hard. Part two doesn't work. Go to another source. Find the video. Part two. Part two doesn't work. can't find part two. Of course, if you go right now to part two, you'll see part two works everywhere. But that day, it didn't work anywhere. Apparently, a very big sadik was coming to Ami. He couldn't let it happen. So now I have a little bit of a scratch. When I read a book, I'm one of these people that has to read from cover to cover literally like you know the part where they say thank you to my wife for doing for letting me write this book. I read that. I'm one of those guys that actually reads that stuff. or in the beginning when they say I don't know the title of the book and who the publisher is and it says art scroll series I actually read that I have to read it from cover to cover I don't know has a scratch in my head I have to read it so skipping from part one to part three was a really big stretch for me so it was really hard but I said I finally got this girl to watch part one she watched part two it's not working I can do it let's watch Part three. We press part three and it works. We watch part three. It's amazing. And goes from 500%. Now we're closer to a thousand. Cuz you're seeing Hashem. It's not about believing in Hashem. Believe anybody. And any can believe there has to be a creator. You don't have to be a genius to believe there has to be a creator. Even if you're love science and you think everything came from some cell and the cell turned into another cell and another cell went through the process of mitosis and it went into four cells and four cells became eight cells and somehow became a fish and a fish grew legs and became a lizard and a lizard somehow became so perfect he became a monkey and the monkey is here. Let's say it all happened. Even if you believe in that, where did this first cell come from? Where did the first cell come from? Has to be a creator. Has to be. Someone had to put the the first cell in the world. You don't need to be a genius for that. Science or no science. But knowing God is what Hashem commands us. You need to know thy exist. Part three helped us know. Now she's telling me at the end of this lecture, we're both on a high. It's 4 5:00 in the morning now. You know, watching our popcorn. We're having a good time. We're discovering God. It's like the greatest thing in the world. He says, "Listen, uh, a lot of my questions have been answered, but I still need to know that it's allowed. I still need a sign from Hashem." Now, generally, you're not allowed to ask for Hashem for signs. Just for anybody knows, Hashem does not allow us to ask for signs. You're not supposed to even look for signs. That's why he told Abraham Au, stop reading the stars. Even though technically there is wisdom in reading the stars, there is you can find a lot of things out by reading the stars. Judaism not allowed. We're above the mazal. The stars are the mazal. We're above the mazal. Meaning our actions dictate Hashem's actions. Whatever your mazal is, your actions can change it. If Hashem says, listen, right now his mazal is to lose all of his money. You do certain things, you can change it. Right now is mazal is to have an horrendous time at work, marriage, anything. You do certain things, you can change your mazal 100%. As a Jew, you have a privilege to the rest of the world. You are above the mazal. Know that forever. So now he says, I need some type of sign. Neither one of us obviously knew this. I need some type of sign. But she gets to a point where if anyone that's never met a convert should know that one of the reasons why Hashem says mentions the convert more than anything else in the entire Torah but doesn't just mention them. He mentions the special privilege they have in the world. He says, "Jewish nation, we're he's our father." But for the converts, I'm their father and their mother because they have nothing. When they convert, their parents are not considered their parents anymore. Spiritually, physically, they're still considered their parents. Biologically, still considered their parents. They're still supposed to honor their parents as long as their parents are not anti-Semitic. Still supposed to, you know, respect their parents. But nonetheless, as far as spiritually, not considered. So I am their father and their mother. And he puts an obligation on is to love the G. You have to love converts, not just respect them. You're not even allowed to pressure them. Special treatment. Can't be a Jewish salesman with a convert. So now problem with converts or the what problem that they go through is that in between leaving the lie and discovering the truth or accepting the truth even after they've discovered it. They don't necessarily accept it right away. There's nothing. There's an empty spot in the middle where they have nothing. And in this world, that's gumo because even if you believe a lie your whole life, you don't know it's a lie. So for you, it's true. Even if someone thought money is the cure for all diseases and all problems and everything in the world, despite the fact that it's a complete lie, as you've obviously seen from this story at this point so far, hopefully until you really realize it, to you it's true. I thought it was true. Once you realize it's not, you have to replace it with something. Okay. So, if money is not the cure for everything, what is if the New Testament is completely false? How do I know the Torah is real? How do I know Hashem wants me to do this? So a lot of converts get to a very very big mash, a very big dilemma, very big depression in the middle between leaving falsehood and accepting holiness, accepting the Torah 100%. And that's what my wife got to. And that night she went to sleep and she prayed to Hashem saying, "Either give me a sign or take me from this world because there's no way that I could leave my husband." And she knows I wouldn't leave her. But she knows that she can't stay with me either. And it's better for her to die in her crazy mind than for me to go to Gome. Tough spot. But Hashem doesn't give you a test that you can't handle. And the very next morning she wakes up, bad mood, but I am on a high. It's like maybe 7:00 in the morning, 8:00 in the morning. She's in a bad mood. I completely ignore the bad mood. Why? I found part two that works. By the way, most of this time I'm not sleeping. I'm completely losing my mind. But I'm getting the answers finally I find part two. In part two of Torah and science, Ra Mizrai shows something amazing. He shows something called Torah codes, which is hidden mathematical secrets in the Torah of all information that exists, past, present, and future. We just need to know what we're looking for. Now, we got the Torah 3,300 years ago, approximately, a little over 3,300 years ago. But Hashem gave us information in the five books of Moses that is relevant until the end of time. How do we know? In the mahazal comes to hem and he says hem there are 55 prophets mentioned in the Tanakh but how many prophets were there in history we get the answer at least 1.2 2 million double the amount of the men between the age of 20 and 60 that left uh mitim which was 600,000 double that at least which means 1.2 2 million. So why are only 55 mentioned? 48 males, seven females. What? The other million2, their Torah was not important. Hashem gives us an answer. Their prophecy, these prophets was only relevant to their generation. Which means that the Torah that we have, the Tanakh that we have, of course, the five books of Moses is part of the Tanakh, but the rest of the 19 books. So to total of 24 books, Hashem is clearly telling us is relevant forever. Anything that's mentioned, every letter, every dot, every nikud, every sentence, everything is relevant for eternity. So anyone that has a crazy excuse to drive on Shabbat to Besset saying, "No, Moses didn't have a car. That's why he didn't drive on Shabbat. And the excuses, the conservative of the reform make up for themselves to drive on Shabbat to no such thing. Everything that's written in the Torah is relevant to you. It's relevant to you. It's relevant to you. It's relevant to everyone. Hashem knew you're going to exist when he wrote the Torah. So in this Torah, he also gave us a prophecy. also gave us a promise that after we make many many sins, he's going to send us to the four corners of the world. And here he says in chapter 4 of Deuteronomy verse 27, Hashem will scatter you amongst the people and you will be left few in number among the nations where Hashem will lead you. There you will serve gods, the handiwork of man, of wood and stone, which do not see and do not hear and do not eat and do not smell. So he's telling us that not only are we sinners and because we're sinners, he's going to scatter us amongst the whole world, but we're going to become worse. Even after he scatters us instead of doing chuva like a normal person we get worse what do we do we start doing idol worship but specific type of idol worship man-made idol worship is not just he's not just that's already existed existed since the time of Abraham but he's mentioning a specific type of idol worship the god of wood and of stone wood should sound familiar to everyone The cross is wood. Every Christian, Catholic, they always have these crosses. That's their sign. False god of wood. After that, the god of stone. What false religion is the god of stone? Mecca, Islam. Why? You go to Mecca there. There Jerusalem is Mecca. What's in Mecca? It's a big giant square stone. They all worship. They'll pray to it in that direction. So this could be this is nice. It's literal Torah, but maybe he's talking about a different wood. Well, just because it's similar to the cross, just because it's similar to the Mecca doesn't necessarily mean it's that. That's his translation. Why would you believe it? Because is very perfect using Torah codes which in essence means that you're using mathematical equations to have skips between letters to to find words hidden within the words within the paragraph. But it has to be an equal mathematical skip. So, for example, if you want to find the word uh let's say house, and I'll just do it in English just for for argument sake, but you want to find the word house anytime it appears in the Torah. Other than the literal, then it would look for the H and then the O and then the U and then the S and then the E. But each one the space between the H and the O and the O and the U and the U and the S and the S and the E has to be equal. Meaning if the space between H and O is 50 letters, then O and U also has to be 50 letters. It can't be 50 and then 37 and then 12 because that's just random. It has to be an equal mathematical skip between each of the letters because then you can clearly see it's by design. It's not just a random number. But not only that, when you find some of the most extraordinary codes, not only do you find an equal mathematical skip that's usually very small, 50 letters or less, but the verse and the paragraph that you find that word also has to do, it's also talking about the subject you're looking at. So for example, the Shaw, the Holocaust, the horrible Holocaust, you'll find every single word relevant to the Holocaust, whether it's Hitler or his helpers, his generals, or the gas chambers, all of the disasters that happen, all of the words related to that, it's in par that talks about the punishment is going to have when they go against Hashem specifically. One of the most difficult parach doesn't have a free choice to do whatever they want. They have choice. Meaning that if you do what Hashem says, you get reward, endless reward. If you don't do, there's punishment. It's not just nothing. So now we have in this verse we have a Torah code. First word of this verse in Hebrew is which means Hashem will scatter. You find the word the letter hey. Second letter of that word is hey. You skip 50 letters you get to the wordim. letter. Skip 50 letters, you get to the word is letter me. What does it spell? Mecca. As we said, that's Islam. Again, in the same sentence that talks about the god of wood and the god of stone, we found who the stone is. Interesting. Right after that same word veit also has a yud 50 letters you go to to the word shama shama get the shin another 50 letters you get to the same word as in the mecca you find the vav in which is jc See, you find his full name inside the very same verse that says who the god, the false god of stone, of wood and stone is. It's the only place in the entire Torah that you find it and it's in the very verse that describes them literally. To me, I've seen before this time, before I saw this video, I saw other codes that were very, very interesting. And to me, this was extremely impressive. And the other codes he mentioned from the Rambam and several others were very very good. But to her that was it. She converted on the spot. That was the sign. That was everything. That was that was the Exodus. That was everything. She took everything on instantly. Hashem. We continued studying. Shortly later, she converted. Went to the bed. We had a kupa the same day just to make sure it's kosher. Same day she converted in the morning. Few hours later couple days later Israel covered hair everything prayers every day something. Now I know why the satan was working so hard and that's when the miracles began. Miracles continued to happen. My health continued to improve as obviously you see me today. You don't see me twining, you know, clenching my fists or yelling or screaming. 99% perfect. From time to time there's some pain but it's ged next to what we had in the past but I still as I was doing chuva I still had to pay the bill for the past. When you earn money and you don't do the right thing by it and you make it your life, Hashem has to show you that money is not is nothing. Ingar it says a story about a very big Benguron Benguron was so righteous the says he's one of three people that Hashem stopped the sun for him in place at a time when the Jews would have a pilgrimage they would all come up to yushim Jerusalem one One year there was a drought, didn't have enough water and Bengu who financed the entire nation of Israel, one of three people that financed the entire nation of Israel had a lot of money. He made a deal with uh some Arabs saying, "Listen, I'm going to buy these 12 wells from you and I'm going to return them to you full with water on a specific date. And if they're not full with water on a specific date, I'll fill them with coins, with money. That's how much money he had. The day came, the wells were dry. Nothing. The Arabs sent somebody in the morning. I had to pay up. Said, "No, no." I said, "Today." I didn't say right this morning. I said, "Till the end of the day." What the end? Even if it rains all day, it's still not going to reach the top of the uh well where I gave it to you. Says, "You worry about your part. Don't worry about my part. I have Hashem." This continued to happen every few hours. He would send somebody, a messenger to him to bother him. Listen, nothing's full. There's no rain. There's nothing. Hasn't rained in months. You think it's going to rain? Not only it's going to rain, but it's going to rain. So, it has to rain like the flood of Noah in order to fill this up. I have Hashem. Praise goes to pray to Hashem. Hashem starts a serious rain in a very short period of time. Fills up the wells even more than what he received. It sends a messenger to the Arab, pay me for the extra water that I gave you. says, "Listen, it's only your nation. Your God can do things like this, but I still have a problem with your God because technically you said you're going to pay me by the end of the day. The sun uh already went down before you before it it filled up." Says, "One second goes back to pray. Prays to Hashem. Hashem, you know I did this mitzvah for you, not for me, not for my honor, just for you, for your nation, for your people, for Kiru. You said no one can get hurt from a mitzvah. It's impossible in the long run. No one can get hurt from mitzvah. It's against nature. Sometimes it looks like you're getting hurt. You give staka, the guy ends up being a bad guy. You do somebody a favor, he ends up being a uh not such a kosher person. In the long run, don't worry. No one in history has ever gotten hurt by mitzvah. So, Ben Gillion prays to Hashem. Hashem opens up the clouds, brings back the sun to where it was, and a miracle happens. The sun is back in the sky. That's how much of a sadik he was. As far as generous, we learned from that story, plus the fact that he was one of three people that gave Am food and finances and everything they needed for years, saved their life. But one day, the says one of the sees a woman looking through the waist of a horse or a donkey. It was a donkey or a horse. You remember a horse or a donkey? One of these animals. She's looking through the waist. Says, "What are you doing?" He said, "I'm looking for some I'm looking for some food." He sees her face. He goes, "What food?" "Your father's nakon. He's the richest man in the land." She says, "No, no, no. Not anymore. He lost everything. Everything to the point where his daughter had to look through waste of a horse or a donkey for food. Says why could such a thing happen? He gave a lot but according to his standards, according to where he was, not enough. That's how much Hashem cares about your taka. You can't be cheap with Hashem. Cuz in reality, he gives you 100%. And he says, "I gave you 100%. What did you want? 50,000? I gave you 50,000. You wanted a 100,000. I gave you 100,000. You wanted a million. I gave you a million. What did you want? I gave it to you or no. Says yes. Give me 10,000 back. I gave you 100. Give me 10 back. Give it to my people. Give it to Give it to Give it for to Don't give it to the casino. No, Hashem. You know, I know you gave me the 100,000 last month, but this month is really tough. Oh, it's really tough. It's really tough. Okay. I say, you know what? Don't give me the 10%. I'll just take the 90 back. So, you switch. You're left with the 10%. It's exactly what happened to me. Everything was lost. But each time it was lost, I continued to learn Torah. And just like I was obsessed about Torah, about finding the truth for myself and for my wife, I fell in love with Hashem. When I left New York just a couple of years ago, I still had a small part of my business. I had a small fund, still had a few few hundred,000 left of my own money. I lost 80% of whatever I had. had had maybe a million million and a half the year before. I lost 80%. It was a bad year. Still had a couple hundred,000 left. Now, if you lose 20 million and it goes down to a million, it hurts. If it goes from a million to 200,000, it actually hurts more. Cuz 20 million to a million, you're still living technically the same life. You're still okay. You're still not necessarily begging for change. But you go from a million to 200,000, you have to change life. You have to change your life a little bit. Now, what happens if you lose the last couple of hundred thousand? It depends. Do you have a muna? Do you believe in God? Net 100% God exists. Can anyone raise their hand and tell me I 100% believe in God? He created the heaven and the earth. He's overseas and responsible for everything. And I have no doubt. It's a tough question sometimes, especially when you're going through hell, right? But this is what God wanted me to do. He wanted me to get to a point where I have to believe in him. I can't tell you I'm a sadik or even aam or anything. But one thing I work on a little bit is amuna. And if you want to get amuna, you have to work on it every day. It's like a muscle. But how do you work on the muscle? By ripping it apart. Anyone that's ever spent time in a gym, if you know the body a little bit, you know that every time you lift weights, at the end of the workout, if you actually worked out well, your body is swollen. But under the skin, why is it swollen? Because all of your muscles ripped. It's just like if somebody punched you in the arm a few times, becomes swollen because a few things ripped inside. Same thing with a workout. You're ripping your muscles in order to grow them. So in essence, you have to create pain in order to eventually grow, in order to eventually create pleasure. Same thing with amuna. Same thing. I'll finish off with this because I know it's late unless you want you guys want to go on for another few hours. But I'll give you a secret of how to get to Amuna and I'll tell you just the first step of all how I got to some Amuna after we left Egypt. Hashem destroyed the largest civilization in existence and made their slaves into the masters. So much so that the Egyptians begged begged am to leave. And not only they beg him to leave, they gave him a bunch of gold, silver, diamonds, a huge fortune. Still, Amish is did not have a How do I know? Because as soon as they got to Yamsuf, to the sea of reeds, they got scared. Huge ocean. Where you going to go? All of a sudden, they noticed the Egyptians. They're coming to get them. This is a problem. Why? Because they didn't send five Egyptians like people think. Kazal says that they sent 9 million Egyptians. That's the smallest number. Some say much more. 9 million Egyptians. Big army, lots of weapons. Very, very scary. After Hashem split the ocean for them, he didn't just split it right away. When Moshe tried to split the ocean, initially the Malik, the angel of the ocean said, "No, not splitting the ocean for you." Why? He goes to God. Not only him, he brings the Malik of Mit, which the name of that Malik is Mitsim. He gives the the angel of the Egyptians. Each nation has an angel. So the angel that's responsible for the Egyptians, they come to Hashem and say, "Why? Why you going to split the ocean for these bay and kill the Egyptians?" Okay, the Egyptians are worship idols. We know they worship idols, but the Jew but the also worship idols. Just last week, they're worshiping an idol. This is why when Hashem did not split the ocean started screaming to him, he says, "What are you screaming to me? Move on. Move forward." What does it mean move forward? Says, "Do something because right now you've already used up all of your credits. You've used up all of your credits. I can't split the ocean for you. Because the Mik, the angel of Egypt, he has a case against you. He's right. They worship idols and you worship the idols. You and whatever credit you had, he used it up to get here. Show me you believe. Don't tell me you believe. Don't kiss the muza on the way out of the masset and go to a barbecue on Shabbat. Don't kiss the sephorra and Shabbat. Get excited and eat non-coosher on Sunday. Show me you believe. Don't give stakat to the bikes or to kiru or to anything with stolen money. Whether it's from your gambling or from your stealing in the business, he doesn't want your stolen money. He wants kosher money. Show me you believe. I need actions. A part of Isel was willing to die. Jump into the ocean. Just die. Commit suicide. Part of says let's just go back to being slaves. And a part of says let's go fight. At least we're going to die with a fight. But the one that was willing to die just willing to die. said, "Listen, if Hashem brought us here, he brought us here." But there was one specific person. He didn't want he didn't think that he was going to die. He actually believed in God. His name was Nakon bin Aminadavon, the son of Amminadav from the tribe of Judah. And Aon said, "Hashem created the heaven and the earth. This is nothing for him. Hashem brought down the largest nation in history. This is nothing for him. Hashem brought us all the way here and made all those miracles for us. This is nothing for him. If he brought us here and he says move forward, I'm going to trust him. And he takes the steps into Yamsuf all the way to the point of when it covers his nose. meaning he was willing to die to prove he believes in Hashem. And at the moment it reaches his nose. He it reached his nose and he started swallowing water. That's when the ocean split. Hashem says you have to show me you believe. But why did I read you the verse of after this where it says afteramsuf after we crossed the ocean hashem let all the Jews all the am is crossed safely in miraculous ways drowned the Egyptians then it says this verse it says here in parhat In Exodus or chapter 14 verse 31, Israel saw the great hand that Hashem inflicted upon Egypt and the people revered Hashem and they had faith in Hashem and in Moses his servant. You read this in your every day by the way your prayer every day you read this verse. So, Hashem said showed you amuna showed you that he has it already. But the people of today, not just you shalom, everyone today need a little more than that. He could have just been crazy. We need instructions. How do I get to amuna? How do I get to trust Hashem? 100%. Three steps. Three steps. First, it says, well, I'm sorry, four steps. First, it says Israel, the nation of Israel saw the hand that Hashem inflicted on Egypt. Israel saw. What does Israel saw? They paid attention. Pay attention to the world around you. You can't miss God. Can't miss them. If you pay attention, you look at this table, you know somebody made it, right? Why? Because it couldn't just appear. Like some of these morons think that the world just appeared. Everyone here is brilliant. They know this did not appear. Somebody had to put it. Who? Somebody that makes tables. The some builder put it together. The city, somebody or somebody's put it together. What about the sky? Obviously, a creator had to put it together. Pay attention to the world around you. Look into the mirror. Look into your own eye. Notice that your eye is the best camera that was ever invented. Notice that the brain of the biggest fool in history is still more advanced than all of the technology that ever existed from the beginning of the world until the end of the world. If you learn a little bit about scientific facts, you can see Hashem. And anyone wants facts, scientific facts of proofs of Hashem, you could either buy a book by Rabbi Zamir Cohen that was translated to English called The Coming Revolution or if you ask me, I'll send it to you for free. It's an amazing bookm wants to read it but has to promise they're going to read it because it cost a lot of money and I don't want to let down anyone that's giving to organization for no reason. You have to read it. They'll change your life. So first pay attention. That's what he says. They paid attention finally after everything he did for them. Finally they paid attention. Okay. Step one. Step two. As soon as we pay attention, we realize there's a God. And this God is holy. This God is great. This God is in charge of everything, including the cells that are in your body, including something called protein fold. Your body is full of trillions and trillions of proteins. In order for you to exist, each one of these proteins has to fold in a precise way, an exact way. If one protein, one out of trillions and trillions and trillions of them, folds the wrong way, person can't see, can't hear, die one protein. He's in charge of that too. So if you're obviously if you believe in this great God and he's even in charge of these small proteins that you depend on. He's in charge of the oxygen we all breathe. What are you going to do? Same thing as what's they feared. Of course you're going to be scared. Only somebody crazy or ignorant is not going to be scared of God. He's in charge of everything. Not just my pan and my wife and the zeug and the business. He's not just in charge of that. He's not just in charge of whether I'm going to get an ace on the fourth card. He's in charge of everything. Of course, I'm going to be scared. Foundation of Judaism. Withoutim, you have nothing. Nothing. Kazal says a connection to Hashem only based on is an incomplete connection. It's a connection nonetheless, but it's incomplete. Why? Because it's good to have and ava both fear and love. But if it's just fear, it's incomplete. But a connection with just love just ava says it's no connection at all. It's worth zero. So the last two steps and then I'll let you all go home. After we notice Hashem, we fear Hashem. It says after you have fear then you can say ah now I know what it is of course I can believe he's in control and once you have once you have then you know who is referring to here when he says Moshe Abdo what was Moshe Moshe Rabenu Moses our rabbi That's the oral Torah. The written Torah told us the basic foundation, the story, the mitzvot, but how to do them, what to do, how to do, we don't know. That's the oral Torah. When you have just a little bit of time to spend to pay attention to the creator, you're going to fear him. When you fear him, you can actually say you have. When you have, you're going to start doing what the oral Torah says, which means that you have to study Torah. And where I got to hashem after losing all of that money about two years ago, I had only a couple hundred,000 left. And I already started doing lectures on the Tuesday. That was my sh cavo, my last my sh of the week. I did one sh a week at the time. I still had the business. One of our investments went terribly wrong. I wake up in the morning. I get the news. Not good news. 9:30 in the morning. The market opens. By 9:35, I'm wiped out. I have zero. Nothing. I say, what do you think I say at this point? The f losing the first few million tough using the last million is tough. Last couple hundred thousand either is toughest and you're going to commit suicide or something else. Power of Torah is stronger than everything else. Especially when it has to do with Kiru. Hem gave me the to say the same verse that Job said after Hashem took everything from him. Hemat God gave God took. May his name be blessed. I shut off the computer and I went to prepare for my shu for the night. And ever since then, I've been living on a miracle every single month. I haven't worked since. That's it. This is what amuna isem all of you get some from all of this. Learn from this and we all do. [Applause]