Small Drops, Big Waves: The Path to Success with Noiky Roberts

You know, the secret to success is not necessarily big things. It's small things, but with amazing consistency. Cuz if you just take in take in the atmosphere, the sights, the sounds, the smells, just be. We're humans doing. We're not humans being. We need to start just living. Just cut some of the noise out and don't get contaminated by what's going on in the world. >> None of your business, Oshi. None of your business, Michael. >> It's the None of Your Business podcast hosted by Michael Anoshi. >> Welcome back everybody to another uplifting, inspiring, energetic, growthoriented podcast. We are here today with the revered >> I wouldn't say that >> with the admired with my good friend >> that you can say >> Noi Roberts. Noi, I'm excited to introduce you to the world and to our audience. But before we do, let me just thank all our subscribers and our comments and the people getting involved. We are growing and we're loving the growth and uh thank you to the Prime Source production team. You know, today we are starting off this podcast with a missing seat. >> I see that. >> Yes. You know, um Ushi had a uh urgent matter that came up so he couldn't be here in time to start this thing. >> We can make it like, you know, we we feel his we feel his presence. He's not quite here at the moment, but we waiting him. >> I love that. So when he comes in, we're going to have to stand up obviously. >> Absolutely. >> You know, she has his mug here, so you know, I like that perspective, but because he's not here. >> Mhm. >> I might be able to do things a little differently. >> Go for it. >> One of the things I always like to do is light a candle. And he doesn't let me. I used to do it in the beginning of the podcast like, you know, for the first few and he's like, "What are you lighting candles?" And anyway, >> drinking. That's you know, great question. So today, Oshi, I am going to light a candle. And one of the reasons why I like to light a candle is besides the fact that it looks good and smells good and feels good is I like to celebrate people's nishamas. >> Oh, >> and that's something that I'd like to take very seriously. And >> that's beautiful. >> I do that in terms of I I guess I do it for me more than anything else. You know, I like to reflect back on history and see who made an impact on this world. This week, um well, it's not going to be ear at the time that the art sites are, so it is what it is. But Rav Palam's George site is this week >> and I was in Torv of Vadas. I had the pleasure of meeting him twice. Thank god he didn't give me a far or a test or anything. It was just a good morning. >> Um you know but he made a tremendous impact on me and uh Torvadas in general is an amazing amazing uh you know >> Torahilled. >> I know an amazing story about Rifam. >> Really said it many many times. Yeah. >> Let's get started. >> I was on someone else's podcast. I don't know if I'm allowed to mention that. >> You're allowed to mention anything. Okay. Who's that? >> I was I was on meaningful people. They asked me, I was unscripted. I didn't know what to expect and I I just spoke probably too much. And um one of the questions they asked me was favorite mitzvah or something like that. And I didn't I I wasn't really prepared. And I I I said kesh lavana, right? Which is a weird choice, right? And you talk about inspiring and uplifting. The why the yen look to the lavana is because it waxes and it waines. It renews. It can seem full at one point and then all of a sudden it's disappeared and it's gone. And that's the story of the yidden. That's the story of the Jewish people. There's a very beautiful sigula that a person who we're told tell us a person who says kadesh he won't have a misuna. It's almost like your life insurance policy and I know that Raan towards the end of his life when he was put he was in hospital and he asked for his bed to be by the window so he was able to say from his bed and if I'm not mistaken and again unscripted I haven't looked at notes if I'm not mistaken his bed was moved >> and that's when he was na >> he was unable to say kadeshana that month he was na so you talk about that's beautiful >> you You know what? This is inspiring me to continue to do this. You should >> and I'm going to force my way to do this every single podcast and uh I'm loving it. Nike, we have a uh segment here that we call >> what does Chat GPT say about you? >> Uh oh. >> We call it Chat PT says what? And uh the beauty of what we're doing here is we are just identifying who you are to the world based on what the internet knows about you. >> I'm bracing myself already, but go for it. This guy basically is a rabbi, singer, therapist, and tour guide, which means he can marry you, sing at your wedding, calm your nerves, and then show you around Jibralter all before dessert >> together with priests and bishops. And remind me, the tour guide bit is a joke, but I'll tell you in a minute, but keep going. >> Go for it. No, no, no. Go for it. >> Do you know Jeff Sidell? >> Sure. He's such a legend. >> Jeff Sidell is the man that stands by the coel who makes sure everyone has a meal Friday night. An amazing amazing individual. a very very close friend of mine um Asha Milstein who doesn't he lives in Miami now he's um supports him a lot and he's given he has a center now and Jeff um knows me through mutual friends etc I remember Jeff when I was a bak when you we there together you know some >> a few weekends ago right and um Jeff does so much for and he's not even content with just finding people places at the He learned of me being, I guess, a rabbi and a a personality in Jibralta or a noise maker in Jibralta. He says, "I got to have your name and your address. I got to put it on my Shabas. If anybody needs Shabas in Jialter, could they come to you?" And in a moment of madness, I said, "Yes, my name is now published. My address is out there. My I'll get emails, random emails from people saying, "Hey, I'm coming to Jibralta with my family of five. Please can you put me up for me?" They think I'm like Kabad. >> Wow. >> But I want to tell you something. You talk about the Zus of I've never once told the person that's not my job. I I never signed up for this. If people I think want some information on Jial, but people think I'm a tour guide and now clearly so does chat GPT. I think it's Jeff Sidell's I was going to say fault. What I'm going to say is >> Ah, there you go. >> I'm not really a tour guide. >> Originally from Gateset, England. That's true. Detourred through Atlanta, Georgia, and somehow landed in Jibralar. Forget jet lag. His resume has frequent flyer miles. That's an interesting journey and I can't wait to hear about it. known as the rock of Jibralar >> in more than way in more ways than one. Spiritually steady, musically ready, and probably impossible to move in a game of tugofwar. Okay, you're you look like a pretty strong guy. Okay. All right. Fine. No problem. Listen, I don't make this stuff up. His Instagram bio. Do you have an Instagram? >> I have for my singing. My for my singing I have. >> So, you do have multiple different types of talents and personalities. I've never marketed myself as a singer because it's really only a side gig, but I've recently stepped down from my my day-to-day duties. Maybe we'll get to that. I hope not. But um so I'll do more of that hopefully. >> I hope too. So wedding and Jewish event singer >> recently in the news for reminding everyone that Passover equals family plus freedom, which is wild because most of us just remember the 10 plagues. >> Crazy. >> And you bring out the best of the brisket. This is this is Chachi PT. What is that all about? >> So in in Jibralta, we'll start at the beginning. I I came to Jibralta many years ago as a as a mechanic, as somebody involved in Kirov, as somebody in who can get involved in the community. And >> if you don't mind, I have to pause because it's on my mind. I'm sure it's on everyone. What is Gibralar? Where is it? Am I saying it right? You're saying, >> how many Jews live there? Why have I not been there if it's so beautiful from what I hear? >> Tell me about it. >> Right. Jibralta is a gorgeous little rock that sits on the t southern tip of Spain um branching the Mediterranean in the Atlantic oceans in the straits of Jibralta. says the only place in the world that you can say is looking over the straits of Jibralta because the Yamagod is either the Atlantic or it's the Mediterranean and where they meet in this tiny little narrow neck of water um is what I see from my window every day. >> Wow. >> So Africa is just across the water, 12 miles across the water and it's this little British colony. You see British policemen and it's British pounds and a British passport, but most people on the street speak Spanish because we border with Spain. I buy my vegetables in Spain. So, and Jibralta has had a Jewish community, a special special Jewish community for hundreds of years. I mean, there are people there who can trace their families back generations, hundreds of years. One of our synagogues, Ash is more than 300 years old. They are an astonishing community of just I I don't want to say simple because that's such an unfair word, but they they treat life with such beautiful simplicity rather than complicate life, which I think America's very good at doing, and maybe we'll get on to that later, with therapy. And this, everyone's running, and I'm not too sure they know where. There it's the exact opposite. There is no keeping up with the Joneses. There's about 150 Jewish families of special special warm people living in the sun. I'll give you an example. I gave an eggeras haramia for 17 years. And that's a difficult one because the ramban is a short letter from the ramban just telling you to be humble and don't get too big for your boots. And the same women would show up every single week and hear me say effectively the same thing again and again and again. And at one point I blurted out, "I don't know why you're still here." And they're like, "Rabbi, you remind us to be a good Jew. It's worth coming." >> Wow. >> They are so pure. They're so special. And I I think the world can learn so much from the beauty of how they approach life and particularly how they approach a hashem. They're such beautiful people. Let me tell you a story. I I I got married in Atlanta because my wife is from there. I moved first to Gates Head because I had visions of wanting to maybe go into law or whatever. And as I was starting in this guy's law firm, mainly driving his car and taking him to cases and learning the ropes. And he was he was done. and it was an older lawyer of my father and um was down wanted to go to um my wife was working the front desk and it was we were newly married and England the north of England gates said it's cold and there's anti-semitism and it's like just wasn't a good it wasn't a nice place >> I thought all of England is cold and like that >> fair enough um and after a few months of of of living there and being in that law firm and driving his car etc I came um to be involved a little bit with within you know there was a kid that was dropping out of high school and and this this father came to me and said do you want to do you want to teach my kid I'm like no he's like I'll give you 20 an hour I said I'll start tonight right in those days it was a lot of money and I didn't really know what to do my father should be healthy and well is a master and I said to my dad what do I do I'm going to get paid real money I'm not a teacher what do I do and he taught me the greatest lesson there is he says believe in the kid that you're sitting in front of love him encourage him. And when a person is valued and they can believe in themselves, you don't know what you're capable of. I don't know what I'm capable of. But but negative limitations in your head will definitely stop you. So I brought this painfully shy kid into my house. And my wife's American, you know, she's baking cookies and like, "Hey, how you doing?" And he's like, he couldn't even answer. And it took like a few weeks until he opened up and he was looking forward to the cookies. And I'll never forget this day as long as I live. And I think it was the biggest gift Hashem gave me in my early career. This little boy knocked on my door. I thought someone was being murdered outside. There was a thump on my front door and it was drizzling and raining because it was England, right? And he was standing there. 12-year-old kid. Maybe he was 11. I don't know. And he was doing this. He was crying and he held up his garest and he said, "I got I got 100." And this was a kid who never thought he could achieve anything. And I'm telling you that moment I melted with him. It was just like such a beautiful thing to see to see that the I didn't really do anything other than care about him and and at the same time my wife sat me down so she's unhappy. Um my brother was learning in Jibralta picked up the phone two days later said to I don't know what do I do? I had my whole rabbi I thought you know I might settle here and grow here and go to school here and get a degree here etc. And I said I can't do this. And two days later, I got a phone call from my brother who was one of the first members of a coil in Jibralta 35 years ago. Jibralta was very traditionally um a safadi community, but not necessarily, shall we say, a Tory community, what we know. I mean, they were beautiful people. I have a story about that in just a moment, but they wanted to to to further the Tory growth of Jibralta and they wanted to open some schools and things like that. And there was somebody there, the our current president of the community, who wanted a mentor and a and a tutor for his children. And two days after Daving to Hashem that I I need a change, Jibralta picked up the phone and said, "Do you want to come?" And I remember we flew into Spain and we drove down this coast road. It's called the Costa del Soul, the coast of the sun, gorgeous palm trees. It's like living in Hawaii. It's just nuts. And I remember us being in the car on the way down. And she's she looked over at me and she said, "I don't care how this interview goes. We're moving here." Right. really. >> And I moved there on a two-year contract >> from Atlanta, Georgia. >> Right. From being 8 months in in Gates Head, right? Wow. >> My wife's like, "Okay, we're going to we're going to move here." And almost three decades later, I'm still there. Um albeit in a a morphing role just at the moment, but it's a special place. And just to give you an indication of what the kind of place is, I know I said a minute ago, it's not a Torah place, but an unfair characterization of it. very deeply spiritual, beautiful people. I remember one of my first I was 22 years old when I I moved there and I came as a you know a youth director Madri I don't know like rebby a high school rebby you know teaching a bit here and there and you know being a mentor to to the teenagers and I walked into shul on Shabas morning there's four very beautiful shs in in Jibralta >> withund >> yeah yeah some not they're not like you would think in American shs you know this one's one and this one's one no they're all the same and they came out and say the exact same. There's just families hundreds of years ago came and a slight different min. So they say this over here like this and you should know for the the four shs there isn't really enough you know peanut butter to spread to keep it evenly. So they they're closed during the week and it's one is open during the week and and everyone goes to that sh and then three months down the line we'll all go to that sh three months down the line so they do a toranut they do a a rotor. Now that the community has grown, two of the smaller shores doesn't doesn't fit the daily minion or the daily minanims because the community has grown so much. So the smallest they all open on Shabas, they all open in Yamov. But one of the small shores that I went to Abuham I walked in on Shabas morning and I saw this near 80year-old man stand up for me and exactly I did a double take. I'm like does he think like secretly I'm you know the god lad. I mean there's clearly a mistake here. So I I put it to bed and the next week when he did it again, I'm like I was decidedly uncomfortable. I think it took three or four weeks until I got to know who this man was. His name was M Garson. Um a man who could probably quote most of Tanak who could lane any para of the week without preparing you know um you'd see him in the street. He's just whispering to himself. He's just saying to Him or whatever it may be, you know, this is a man, you know, he was impressive by any any stretch of the imagination. And I went to him and I said to him, you know the Torah well, you can lay any para then you'll know I have a to stand for you, right? Not the other way around. It's very awkward. You know, you're standing for me. And he looked at me as if I'd insulted him and his family. And he did this with his no you are the Torah. You came to teach the Torah. I stand for the Torah. >> Wow. >> And this was like I haven't done anything yet. But if I represented that that's I think encapsulates what Jialter is. >> That is amazing. Oshi just walked in. So let's welcome him to the program. >> Good morning. >> So we're back and uh Noi. Oshi Oshi. Noi. >> Oh, >> we've made acquaintances. >> Beautiful. >> Very quickly. I already feel connected to him. >> Beautiful. >> I feel like we go way back. I feel like we have a his together. You also speak very eloquently. I can already tell. >> I appreciate that. >> I love that. Thank you. >> And also, you sound intelligent. >> I feel like anybody with an accent sounds more intelligent than Americans. >> Yeah. I once got into trouble on a comment on that cuz I went to a speaker forum in Atlanta, you know, motivational speaking and that kind of stuff, and I gave a speech and an agent came to me and said to me something like that, right? And I was in a very sarcastic mood that day. And I I think she said something on the lines of with that accent, anyone's going to believe anything you say. I said, "Well, thank you for fundamentally reducing me to my external makeup." And she didn't get it. >> Basically, you know, like, do you know what I mean? >> Yeah. >> Give me a minute. Yeah. >> Yeah. She was judging you like she was, you know, >> just saying because of the way it looks and sounds. I'm I'm like, you're going to buy a car cuz it's red and shiny. I mean, check out the end. I mean, >> exactly. >> I mean, I'm learning about you that you have smika. So, so Rabbi Noiki is Yes. and uh and uh you know the tour guide thing came from Jeff but you I think you're also a therapist you mentioned so true or chachi pis mentioned that >> so you do practice and >> you know maybe maybe we can talk about this because I understand this is kind of one of your things you know that I I have a big issue with with therapy the way America particularly views therapy look let's let's go from for a second Right. There's there's no child or baby that suffers from anxiety. Newborn babies were pure from from the get-go. Correct. And somehow on the process of the journey, we learn anxiety, we get depression. These these things, one could argue is is learned practices and they're negative ones. And one of the things I learned quite quickly is that a a good therapist is really not supposed to speak very much. You're supposed to sit there. You're a great psychologist once told me you you're the blank canvas. Your your patient, your client is the artist. Let them paint the picture. Your job is to just give a narrative back of what you're hearing. So you're saying try not to say very much. And the the true deepest art of therapy is as the person sits there in a very safe space not to be judged with no distractions just to think about what their life is and they have to don't forget describe it to a total stranger. You get a deep it's like a very powerful mirror. I can't tell you how many times has happened to me over my career where somebody's sitting there and I'm biting my tongue not to scream at them. Don't you see what you're saying? You do what to your wife? The person you're supposed to love the most. The person that will be there for you every day of the week. You what? And I I keep that quiet and then I wait for the comment almost where the person says, "Wow, this sounds really bad." Boom. And one of the big beefs I have with America, maybe I shouldn't say this. >> No, just go for it. I mean, you are in I'm here, you know, insulting you not, but >> as long as you're okay to receive it back, >> I'll I'll you could give it back to I don't like people that can dish but they can't receive. >> No, it's not it's not a diss in the sense that >> diss people that give you I said diss though. I'm not just dissing you just to oneupmanship. I'm I'm not into that either. I just think this is something so deeply fundamentally wrong where people live with their therapist. >> Please bring it on, >> you know, and and they have to see this shrink two, three times a week. And the the Tony Robbins of this world will stand up and convince you that if you need his 10e program to get better. You don't. You don't. Do you know the answers to your healthy life are within you already? You just have to find them. And a therapist isn't the person you need to lean on for the rest of your life. If you find a good therapist or you're able to do it yourself, I mean, darling is supposed to be deep meditation where you really connect with who is the answer to everything you let me ask you a question. What would you rather have? A billion dollars now or to be a balak for the rest of your life? >> Wow, that's a nasty question. >> It's a wonderful question. >> No, no, no, no, no. Because you're putting I know what my answer is going to be and uh I just don't want to say it right now because >> you know I'm I'm gonna I'm going to save you. Don't answer the question. Nobody should answer the question, but everyone listening should think about that question. >> And you're right. It's a tough question. it it, you know, chops you at the knees. But here's the answer. Everyone is drawn to say a billion dollars because that's the the the dream. That's what we're taught to >> Yeah. And it'll be easier to have if I have a billion dollars. >> And do you want to know something? What does the Zara call this world? The Alma, the Shikra. It's not true. There is mountains of evidence to suggest that you having endless amounts of cash does not answer your problems. You somehow know it, but you don't really. But if you would meditate on it and you would work on it and you would think about it. Do you know what means? Let me tell you a cute story. I used to be a terribly nervous flyer. >> Before you continue with your cute story, just I want you to remember about the beef with Americans. >> No, the beef will go on the podcast. >> I like it. >> It'll go on. >> Carry on. I'll remind you. >> Good. >> I like where this story is going cuz >> that's why you don't want to stop. Also cuz I think someone here is also I used to be >> I was a terribly nervous >> and you're still afraid of terri I was terribly and and I've flown so much my father again amazing amazing man he said to me he gave me an analogy he said how do you think the plane takes off I said I don't know he said you know it's taller than a than a high-rise build I think it's a massive thing you know an A380 today he said how does it take off it's a miracle he says you think anything happens happens without doing it. He said, "Picture the plane being carried in the palms of Hashem and going and being put down." And that if it's not in the control of God, it's not happening. So, what are you freaking out for? You think somehow you sitting there and clinging on to your armrest is going to help? I know it's n it's a natural reaction. If it's a natural reaction, somebody hasn't thought it through. Think it through and just let go. You're with Hashem. So, just smile. This is not a nervousness at this point is not going to help. So I used to have to get drunk and stuff and go on long flights and I remember once coming into London Heath. I was flying from Newcastle to London and I think these little short domestic flights are done with trainee pilots. It was a terrible landing and it was a a hurricane and I was being tossed all over and I remember thinking but Hashem's got me relax. And I it was a mental exercise but I mish I owned it and I don't know Hashem gave me it worked and I just relaxed and as the plane's being tossed about I was just like I mowished like I smiled and my fear of flying was gone. >> I don't appreciate this story. >> I'm so sorry. >> I don't appreciate it because I I'm almost in one way envious that you're able to have that thought pro that mindset. >> But I think us regular people >> we can't do that because I I by the way have planes gone down before? >> Absolutely. >> Were those not being carried in the palms of Hashem? They were. But for some reason he decided that plane should go down. >> Okay. So you >> and that was the anxiety part. That's what anxiety comes from. Is God on my side today or is he not on my side today? Number one. Okay. Number two, you're making it sound like such a fairy tale story like thing that you know he's apparent and it's a beautiful thought. I'll agree with you. But >> it is science how the plane is taking off >> and God gave the ability to the humans to create that. >> Science is sort of removed himself from the equation. He gave them the ability to to have >> So you're saying a lot of stuff. >> Yes. But let's let's back up a bit. The the simplicity of healthy living is is within a human power. You can do it, right? I've physically taken clients from massive phobias and huge anxieties to living very comfortable lives. That you can do. Okay. Now, when I said before we're born healthy and we, you know, contaminate our our thought process, there's I I have a huge beef with social media and and and all of that. I'm not saying it's all bad, but I'm saying it needs to be very much regulated in the same way as you wouldn't give a car to a 12-year-old kid and you wouldn't give a loaded gun to a 12-year-old kid. And there are licenses and there are ways and there are practices and there are healthy training sessions on how to handle a weapon that can kill car or gun. I think we need to be edging towards that also with social media. It's it's it's out there. It has tremendous power but it also has unbelievable power to corrupt. We just I can't tell you how many times I mean just think about this in in in a restaurant. How many times has this happened to you where you're sitting in a restaurant and you see two people, a business partners, a couple out for for dinner, lunch, whatever it may be. What happens when one of them goes to the bathroom, even if they don't have their phone on the table and like, "No, no, I'm listening to you one second. No, you carry on." How was one of my pet peeves? I hate that someone's talking to you eyeball. Sit there, look at them, invest in them. They're investing in you. But even if they don't have their phones on the table, what happens the minute one of them goes to the bathroom? >> I'm searching for my phone. I don't know. >> The phone is out and and some earthshattering Facebook post, you know. But you know what? You know what happens when that person gets straight involved in whatever it is that's on the screen. They're missing something. Because if you just take in take in the atmosphere, the sights, the sounds, the smells, just just be. We're we're we're humans doing. We're not humans being. We need to start just living. Just cut some of the noise out. And when you when you do that, you start to realize that's the creative space, by the way, where creative thinkers live. Just being able to not be bombarded by something else and and just let silence wash over you. It's a very powerful thing. And when that happens, by the way, that's where the the fears and the anxieties, even if a plane is going to go down for a per how would you I don't want to put it this way, but if a person was on a plane and it was going to go down, how would you rather go down? Screaming and thingy or saying, you know what, if this is the way it has to be, it has to be. What? You choose. >> I'm pretty sure that's the last thing I'm mulling over. >> I get you, but one second. That's actually a great point. It's so deep >> but yet so profoundly simple. People live their lives worrying that things could go wrong. Yes, you're right. They could. I'm not dis distancing myself. I'm not naive. But I'm just saying even if it were to happen and it was out of your power for it to happen, which it clearly is. You still have a choice how you live up until that point. And I think Gibraltar does that well. And I think Americans beadol largely don't. And America is a great country. I come here all the time. I love coming here. But if I could wave a wand and change one thing, I would love to change that. We're so worried. I heard there's a great story that was in the news not so long ago. I know I'm rambling, so stop me whenever you want me to stop me. >> But the number one golfer in the world is a guy called Scotty >> Shefflla. >> Right. >> By the way, I'm sorry. >> Sorry. >> Well, she is a major sports guy. So, just FYI. >> And and golf is the least favorite sport of mine. However, I still follow it and I know exactly who Scottish chef is. Right. I don't, but I I know that he's >> the number one golfer in the world and has been for a few years. I don't follow golf either, but what caught my attention was a news story where he was giving an interview just a few weeks ago. I was in Atlanta at the time and he was about to one of the majors of the of the of the year um was being played I think in Ireland and he was being interviewed, you know, by the obsessed American media. Yeah, Scotty, number one in the world. the million dollars here, you know, all about this thing. And he just kind of he's like, "Guys, if you had to ask me, do I want to be a good dad or a good golfer? If I had to die and and I was known for one thing, good personal, good golfer, which one would I choose?" I'd choose good dad. If I had to give up everything to have a simple life connected to my family and happily, healthy, I would give everything up. He said, and he's a very deeply Christian religious guy. He prays on the course with his caddy. He's an interesting character. But he kind of gave Musa 101 to like the American media and and they they started to panic a bit because think about it. He's got sponsors. He's got people who have to say, you know, winning this tournament. You know what he said? He said, "I won the most major tournament of my life and I don't feel fulfilled." >> Correct. And he said, "How long do I really feel excited about it?" >> Yeah. >> Maybe five minutes. And then I put the cup down and then we move on with life. There was a brilliant article in the redesign. >> He got a lot of slack for that. >> Of course. >> You got a tremendous amount of slack for that. Of course. Do you know why? >> Because he was downplaying the moment and the and the competition. Correct. >> And that's what they were asking him about. Like we're not saying you can't be a good father while being a good golfer. They're not mutually exclusive. You can be both. But we're here at the biggest golf tournament in the world. And how do you feel about >> one of the biggest events? You just won. You know how people hear you downplaying it. Oh, golf. It's just a game. Relax. There's millions of people tuning in watching you at this moment right now. >> I think he was asked if >> the line, >> right? And I I personally don't agree with that. I mean, maybe from a sponsorship perspective, maybe, but I think his answer was so deep and so revealing. And by the way, it's I'm borrowing it because it's so true. I've got so many clients, Jewish clients, who have been desperate to be successful. Desperate. And success is such a a an unguarded word because what does success mean? What does it look like? How many dollars is it? Is it what other people say about all these kinds of things? And in a world very obsessed with likes and clicks and it can be con conflated. It can be confusing. And the truth is success really is an inner deep thing. And what I was trying to say about the therapy before is it's within the reach of every single person. If you're a if you're a healthy person in your mind, you can get there. I remember saying this on on on spir everybody knows the story, right? Ruby is walking past and he see 40 years old and nothing basically in life and he sees the drips of water and and and you know it's made an impression on the stone. me. So the the deeper analysis of that story is Rubya was inspired and he said okay I can make changes to my life and and he did and he became the world leader in Jewish thought in Jewish leadership and he suffered unimaginable tragedy with this entire dynasty being killed in front of his eyes in a short period of time 24,000 talum and what does he do dusts himself down and starts again and from five new talum does the whole thing all over again it's an astonishing story but let me ask you a question that was from from the inspiration of some drops of water honestly stone. What are you trying to tell me? At 40 years old, Rabbi didn't know that water can erode stone. What What was the epiphany? What was that big moment? So deeper analysis is like this. Rabuka was walking by and he saw drops of water and he had seen that it bored a hole through a stone. And of course we know the Gomorrah says he said, "If the soft water can penetrate the hard stone, the powerful words of Hashem's Tyra can penetrate my heart. They can change my life." And then he what the calculation he made was as follows. He said, "How many drops of water do you think it took to make a hole in that stone? How many years do you think?" And settle on any figure you want. >> 100 years, >> right? 100 years. Billions of drops of water then, right? How many liters of water would that make? How many gallons? I don't know. Settle on a figure, right? Rubika said like this. If I were to take all that water and pour it on the stone right now >> at once, >> at once in one shot, what would happen to the stone? You know the answer. >> Laughing. >> Exactly. Said Rubika, you know, the secret to success is not necessarily big things. It's small things, but with amazing consistency. >> And if I'm consistent and I do something tiny, insignificant, what's a drop of water? It won't quench your thirst. It does nothing. doesn't even register on your radar. But that is a catalyst for everlasting change, meaningful change. I think again, I love America. It's great people, >> by the way. Love that. >> Isn't that beautiful? >> Love that. Thank you. >> You're welcome. >> Thank you for that. That actually moved me and uh it's my head my mind is spinning right now. >> So, this is the the >> because you're right. Each individual drop on its own is worthless. All of it at once is worthless. But each in the drop each drop >> right >> collectively when you have them consistently over time does major damage. >> So if you want to be success exactly what is what does being a good Jew look like? What does being a good father husband look like? And the answer is do the little things very little things but consistently do them all the time. I used to hate Daving. I genuinely I'm not lying. I genuinely love Dav. I love it. If I being a balen mean living with Hashem 101, the plane could be tossed around and I'm okay. That is such a gift. But you don't get it for free. That that's work. That's a lifetime of work. And we're always evolving and working on it. And the day you're not working on it, you're regressing. You're going backwards. And I think every good therapist should be helping their client realize that you have it within you. You do success is right there. Hashem created you as perfect as you need to be. But just don't let the world media everybody other everyone else's what are they saying? What are just do you and don't get contaminated by what's going on in the world. There's a lot of garbage out there. >> You were mentioning an article in the reader digest. >> Ah thank you that the reader digest and this was in the 1980s. This is how far I love the Readita's Digest. >> Oh my god, it's gone. Love them. >> What have there? >> That was That was before phones. There was nothing else to do in the bathroom. Correct. >> And it was pretty much read. But Reader's Digest was so educational, so brilliant, >> so informative and entertaining at the same time. >> Jokes. >> They had everything. They had everything. >> It was two things for me growing up. It was the Jewish press where I used to go right to the back of it and just like, you know, the biggest and the reader digest. That was that was like the uh the two things that I used to read. And nobody ever threw away the readers digest. You kept it and you collected them over many years. >> By the way, business idea. Imagine someone's got a full collection of years of readers digest. You know what that would sell for? >> Go to every single garage sale in the tri-state area. You will guaranteed to find a stack of readers. >> Beautiful. Do it. >> Who's buying it? >> I would. >> I know. But you know, Jewish people, religious Jewish people typically read more than the rest of the world does. Correct. Because on Shabas we're basically forced to have to read. We don't have a choice, >> right? >> Uh the rest of the world when are they they have their phones with them at all times, right? They never ever >> even when they're reading their own phone. >> Yeah. I always wonder who's reading the daily news or the post or any any newspaper in any state across the country who's reading that? Maybe an older person like a senior, you know, will coffee in the morning. >> There's a lot of British people who still like their physical newspaper that, you know, they'll go and buy the times. >> That's because they don't want to see anybody. So they open their paper, nobody sees them. So >> I take a knob and out the rest of the world. What was the article? >> Um but by the way the way we consume news today is also from a psychologist point of view or psychological point of view is is is changing. You look at the rhetoric you know the word genocide getting posted about Israel multiple times on a daily basis. You can see what's happening. There are people who are very carefully manipulating the media to make sure that there is a narrative. >> Mhm. And that narrative is not necessarily accurate at all. >> Right. >> And it's it's so dangerous. And again, just a big up Gibraltar, this tiny little island in the middle of nowhere. It's not an island, but it's connected to mainland Spain. But you find some of the healthiest teenagers. It's not like they don't struggle. They do. It's not like we don't have social media. We do. But if we could, I mean, my my dream would be that it would be a universal understanding that kids don't get phones until they're a certain age. And and at 16 or 17, there isn't a teenager who I've interviewed or I've been intimately involved in their growth and their life. And I've I've been involved in setting up schools and and and trying to career advise and and and make healthy, you know, teenagers. And then the other part of my job in Jibralta is to be the rabbi for those couples as they settle and try and grow and try and keep them growing and motivated and spiritually growing and and it's a tough job. There's there isn't a teenager who honestly one-on-one will say to me my phone um helped me when I was 16. Who who won't who who will say that? They won't. They're like it destroyed me. The the anxiety level for girls. I mean there's a brilliant book if you want to read a great great book called The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Height. Oh my gosh, >> this is so funny. You remember I interrupted you earlier and I said something. >> This is what I was going to say. >> I said I was speaking to my daughter last night, >> right? >> And she's in her 20s, married, and she told me something so profound and interesting and I I I couldn't believe it. She said that she believes that her and her generation when they have teenagers will not allow phones to their children. >> I'm doubling. That's true. >> And you know why she said it to me? Because we're living in a world where we see how much damage it's doing. >> This is the first time. There's no data on it. This is the first generation that you see. >> This is the generation. It's It was so fascinating. I said, "Really?" And then she told me about this book. >> Oh, it's fascinating. Okay. Jonathan Height is a great guy. Get him on. He's not Jewish. He's a brilliant person. >> Where's he from? >> He's American. >> I'd love to get him. >> The first book of his I read was called The Coddling of the American Mind, right? How good intentions and bad ideas has set up a generation for failure. He's he's a he's a fascinating person. I don't really want to talk about it because it's not not really, you know, but but he's he's a brilliant person and he talks about but the back to the reader digest article. Um it was called fun or happiness and this is in the 1980s and I think they took a snapshot sort of like a visual aerial shot of the most privileged place on the planet. I think it was in Hollywood somewhere where you know every single house is a yeah $10 million mansion. This is in the in the 1980s, right? And you know this one belongs to Madonna and this one's another A-lister and this one's I don't know the name. >> They had they had a show back then. You know the uh showcase the houses of the millionaires. Yeah. MTV Cribs. >> That was the MTV version. There was another one. >> But what what's amazing was it it gave um sort of a statistical analysis of the average earnings of each of those people, right? What was their surplus wealth? How many homes did they own? How many private jets? Of course, there was a house in Malibu and a and a villa in the south of France and, you know, maybe a skiing chalet in Switzerland or something like that. And then it went through the list of those people of how many of them will suffer from I think five or six big indicators that there is something not quite right with their lives. So for example, domestic abuse, substance abuse, um addiction, etc. How many of them have will will have suffered from any one of those or a combination of those? And of course they were they were high into the 80s or the 90% which which highlighted so clearly that being affluent or being free or being successful in the eyes of what the world calls success definitely doesn't answer the more meaningful question. I think that was what was Scotty Sheffller's point. He's right. Golf is great. It's fantastic. And he said these words, "It's given me an extraordinary life." >> He said, "But it can't give me meaning." Now, he may have been slaughtered by his sponsors for saying >> asked him, "If you're getting meaning out of this, nobody asked him, is this the end? Should we all try to aspire one day to be a good golf friend, then our lives will be perfect?" Nobody was suggesting that. >> I I don't know the context. >> Listen, I didn't appreciate it either because I thought it came across a little arrogant. It also came across a little bit like he was demeaning and he was he was biting the hand that feeds him. >> At the end of the day, like you just said, we gave him a very good life. He definitely >> and everybody is watching you. We don't think that you should now become the Daly Lama. We can suggest that. We're not propping you up on a pedestal. All we're doing is we want to ask you about the moment here and how you're feel whatever. I don't want to get back into that. But >> yeah. Okay. >> Why is it though that everybody is still chasing all these things? We've had hundreds and thousands of years of evidence and we all know this. I won't dispute. I won't debate you on this. I agree. >> Money is not going to wipe away and eradicate all of your problems. And there's other ways to attaining happiness that are going to be much more genuine, authentic, more sustainable. >> Right? I >> I believe all that and I'm sure everybody else people listening, we believe that, >> right? >> Why are we still chasing? >> What a great question. And the truth is I I don't know if I have the answer. I I have an answer which works for me. And again, it's it's back to the same kind of therapy that that has helped me become calm and uninvolved. Now listen, I'm still ambitious and I know money has utility value and that's a very key word there, utility value. >> I like that word. >> Yeah, it's very important. You can't survive without it. >> Yeah. >> But when you get it, you realize, okay, this is I mean there were Jews in Europe who were also obsessed with wealth and they hoarded wealth. You know, they say a funny story about a psychologist. The guy comes and sees a psychiatrist. So the psychiatrist is sitting there. The client walks in and the guy says, "Why have you come to see me?" He says, "I don't know." He says, "I'm totally normal." He says, "Okay, so why does a totally normal person come and see a psychiatrist?" He says, "But my family made me come. They think I'm crazy." says, "Ah, okay. Why does your family think you're crazy?" He says, "Doctor, I have no idea." They think I'm crazy, "Cuz I love pancakes." And the psychiatrist says, "What? That's ridiculous. I love pancakes, too." And the guy says, "You do? You should come to my house. I keep suitcases full of them under my bed. I open them. I lay in them. It's amazing." And then, >> that's good. >> Okay. >> Why is it funny? >> That is good. >> Why is it funny? Sorry to go all analytic on the joke, but it's crazy because somebody who stores more pancakes than they could ever possibly use, they're nuts. They're crazy. A squirrel doesn't hoard more nuts for the winter than it's going to need there or thereabouts. People who are chasing money, and there are people out there chasing more money than they can spend in their lifetime, they're crazy. Or they've lost focus, if we want to say it nicely or politically correctly. They're not focused on really what's giving them. Now, we're all stuck in this world which creates powerful images, but those powerful images are not. >> Can I give you a defense to that? Can I give you sort of >> with with pleasure? >> I can speak for myself and I can speak maybe for other people as well that I imagine >> money is probably the only thing that can limit, minimize, diminish the other problems. So let's say in your life you have five different big issues going on. It's very hard to tackle each of those issues. You know it's going to be a lot of work ahead. You know that it's going to be years and years of talking about it and getting you know into the weeds of where the roots of it and then trying to to trying to remedy it versus having money will in one way just make everything easier. So that's also a solution so to speak. So, it's not necessarily going to be the epitome of my happiness, but it's going to make everything else better and softer and just it's going to make everything seem a little bit more okay. And I think maybe that's why a lot of people chase after money is because they believe that that is going to mask and disguise all of their other problems. Does that make sense? >> Well, it's the old can money buy happiness, >> right? Can't buy happiness, but it could sure make your misery a lot easier to live with. >> Yeah. and and the back to the Reader's Digest article. I mean, the the analysis of the article was whilst all of these people have extraordinary amounts of money, there's quite a lot of evidence that they don't have a lot of meaning and happiness. And there's a very big difference in fun and happiness. Money can buy you a lot of fun, a lot of fun. And I love having fun. I really do. I'm still I sound like a very serious person. And for the most part in my life, I kind of am because I'm very invested in the lives of other people. I I can party on. >> I could see I could see that. >> I I can. But I I think I'll do it in context, understanding that it's important to chill. It's important just to relax and do healthy things. One of the most I I don't know. I I I I go running and I I I'm quite athletic and this I just go and I and then I come back and I'm I'm a better husband. I'm a better rabbi. I'm a better teacher. I'm a I need that. if I didn't relax and blow off steam and I I I sing at weddings and I I've sung with fabulous bands all over the world. I I I get such a buzz out of performing for an audience. But I realize that's just it's a it's a a fake high. It's it's good for what it is. It's a lot of fun. I need that. But that's not it. I need to do much more. And the analysis of the Readers Digest article was money can buy you a lot of fun. certainly can't buy you happiness. And there's mountains of evidence. And it's true. You can throw money at problems, but >> and and it can the utility value of money can mean it can help you find some solutions, but it's not the solution. And if you if you give that to your children or you or you portray that to people, you're doing a disservice to your children. >> Okay. >> On the contrary, >> not as a religious person, as a person. >> Correct. What would you suggest to yearn for and to strive for >> to gain happiness? Not don't tell me the end result. Tell me like a pathway like this is how you should you know start putting things in motion right now. Start building those blocks and then eventually you'll get to that place and that is a very big function of how you can really be happy. I mean the truth is happiness is a journey and if you want to go to the very deep analysis of it Rabbi Tatz wrote a book for teenagers the thinking Jewish teen something advice for life or something on those lines it's a great read it's a difficult read I don't think it's for teenagers at all and I love Rabbi Tats it's so deep and he has an article there he has a chapter or two on happiness and and one of the things he says he says quite a lot but one of the things he says in in the in the is to give it an example. If you're, let's say, a pickle ball player or a squash, tennis player, we'll go with tennis, right? If if you're an aspiring tennis great and I put you in front of somebody who you can crush easily and you win six love, six love, six love in 15 minutes, if you walk off the court and you clench your fist, go, "Yeah, I destroyed him. You're an idiot." I'm like, "Dude, he's 6 years old. He's just picked up a racket for the first time. Of course, you could beat him. There's no happiness in that. But on if I put you in front of somebody who's better than you and they push you to your utter limits and you're digging deep into your reserves and every muscle is strained and aching and you're sweating and and you win. That's a feeling of elation. Why? Why? >> It was difficult. >> Correct. >> I had to earn that. >> Correct. By definition then happiness means what you break yourself over. What you dig deep within you. One second. It's accomplishment. Accomplishment. But true accomplishment is great happiness. >> It's real meaning. Real meaning. Can I tell you beautiful was told to me Rabki when I was starting my degree I knew I had to sift through so much garbage. So my Solomon put me in touch with Rabbi Dr. Abrahami also and he said he'll mentor you. And this was crucial for my career as a rabbi and and trying to help people grow. And he so rotoski said to me, "Listen, I have a lot of people on my case. I'll definitely mentor you, but I have no time for go. You call me up. We're not going to talk about the weather. We're not going to chitchat. You have a question, you ask the question. We're we're busy people." I appreciated that so much. I eventually brought him to Gerald. It was beautiful. I have stories about that. I don't if I have time. Right. But he said Rabaiki said to a beautiful Torah to it. It says at the beginning of the Torah when it says man was being created. It says right in in the plural term let us make man. And Rashi says you know it looks like opponents of Judaism can argue and say there's more than one creator. There are more than one force in creation. And Rashi says let corrupt people corrupt themselves. That's fine. But the reason why it's written and there's many many answers but the answer I love the most and has motivated me so much and has helped me get to this place of where I'm feeling fulfilled and generally feeling happy. I'm not without challenge. Everybody has tough times. Everyone. But it's such a welcoming thing to know that you're having the worst day out there and you can sit with it and you don't try and mask it with any kind of drugs or anything like that. Just be and know that you have within you what it takes to come back. I don't know how long it's going to take, but as sure as the tide goes out, the tide comes back in again. I'm going to ride out this feeling. Feeling low right now. That's normal. That is totally healthy. And I'm going to feel good again. When Hashem created everything, he created it as is. In the elephant is a big elephant. It doesn't have to do anything to become what it needs to become. In the moment that it was created, in its inception, all of it was there. There was one thing that Hashem said, "I'm going to put latent, dormant potential in, and for it to become extraordinary, you're going to have to work on it." And that was man. And you can see it. Human beings can rise higher than angels and frankly can sink lower than than animals. And where that lies is within you and your freedom to choose. You can have the worst experience ever and and you can turn it around and say this is going to motivate me. This is gonna make me into a different person. Rubyaka understood that the the drip drip thing that's my work. I have to do that every day. And I think to answer your question, I think the person that owns that and really deeply, I don't want to say believes it, owns it, knows it, you've tried it, you've tested it, you can reach extraordinary things in your life, and there's no gimmicks. The funny thing is this is such a difficult cell in the world today, which is desperately trying to get you to believe you need their product to get healthy. I'm saying you don't. You really don't. It's a disservice to your client to say, "You need me as a therapist to make you better." No, you don't. You need to own this idea. Test it. Try it. You can hate certain things. I I used to hate running, >> but I needed to be healthy. >> This is why we need therapists. What you're doing right now has to be explained. Correct. >> And then it doesn't just it has to settle in someone and you got to slowly convince them over time. >> I call it therapy. But I think what you're saying with America, why you hate it so much is because we are a country of drugs. We love our drugs. There's no question about it. And I think that's what you're saying. There's a lot of external substances that are not really within a person. >> Look, I don't think you would respect me if I could speak eloquently only when I'm drunk. Like seriously, that's not the real me. I'm masking with something. You need to find that confidence >> without that. And and and within it, the real answer to it is mindfulness, right? We're so worried about other stuff. That mean your brain has x number of% of capacity. If 50% of it is is out there thinking, I wonder what people are thinking. If I if I sit here as I speak thinking, I wonder what you guys out there think of me. I I'm not authentic anymore. All of a sudden, I'm there. I'm not here. Marriages are are there. They should be here. They should be beautifully present. Praying to Hashem should be a a wonderful moment where I'm with God. He's with me. All my answers are right there. And that was the question before. Billion dollars or God? Of course, the answer is God. But but it takes work to be able to get to that answer and mean it and think it and >> live it. >> Yeah, that's amazing. >> It's tough. >> Michael, where do you find these people? >> That's really cool. >> When we were hanging out at 18, 19 years old together. >> Yeah, we were. >> This Jibralta thing is really just gnoring at me. Yeah. >> Like where the heck is this place? and and like you keep like you live there for 30 years I think you mentioned >> like there's a community there's like like why have I never heard of it? >> Yeah. >> What's up with that? >> It's tiny. It really really is tiny. >> I mean you missed it before you said 150 families with four shooles. That's the entire So it is very small. >> Yeah. It's very very small but it's like it makes a lot of noise though. I mean like I've heard of it in terms of >> it's an extraordinary place even from business perspective. I mean from the Jewish world it's it's a special place. people move there or people were born there? >> So people were born there. The the the main community is the indigenous community, but it's been a bit of a noise maker. So it's attracted. >> What's the business like over there when you say business? >> So it's a it's a business solutions place, not necessarily for Americans so much, but um it it offers a lot of financial services to to um companies and it it it can provide good banking solutions. that can provide good structures for people who want to set up companies and things like that. So, it's a and there are very creative lawyers and and accountants there who who try to help people structure their businesses in a way that is very tax efficient. Jibralta is very taxic. >> You're saying like similar to like when you make an LLC and like it's made in Delaware, right? >> Because they have certain laws that protect the LLC's >> doing things in Jibralta helps. >> Yeah, it it does help certainly for Europeans and and non-Americans. I mean, for Americans, you're going to get taxed wherever you make your money. >> I think we have a total of 13 listeners out of America. For those people, you know, I guess it'll be beneficial. >> Yeah. >> To uh >> look, if especially if if you, for example, let's say you're you're you're a business in Israel or you're >> you know, we do have a lot of listeners in Israel actually. So, so what happens then? >> And they so they come to Jibralta and they structure and they set up their companies there >> and that's a benefit for them from many different ways. Give me one way that it's a benefit. So for example, all the gaming companies have have lots of them have set up their their servers and their base of operations in Gibraltar. Corporate taxes is very favorable for them. They they pay their taxes there. They become residents there. There are 150 unaffiliated Israeli families now living on the rock because of favorable tax positions and what have you. >> And they have to also be there 6 months and a day in order to have residency. >> A lot of them actually live there. >> Oh, they actually live? >> Yeah. Yeah. This is not some shtick. This is this is the real deal. >> They're enjoying it. What led you to Jolta? >> So, we did that at the beginning, but um >> you could tell them the 30 secondond version. >> I was in England, thought I wanted to go into law. >> Um by mistake, got involved with helping some teenagers in my community and just saw the difference between chasing just pure guilt and and >> you see yourself retiring in Jibralta. >> Look, Jibralta has its challenges. I don't say all rosy, you know, I'm a big personality and I'm in a very very small place, you know. So, I I recently stepped down from my day-to-day duties of of being involved in the in the two high schools. Um, I still do a lot of community work and what have you, but I I view um Gibralar as being a very healthy place in terms of noise and all the garbage. It's been a very very healthy place. >> It's somewhat isolated over there. >> Correct. So, that that's the other side of the coin. It's quite challenging and um I view myself staying there for the moment but traveling a lot more, speaking internationally a lot more um singing internationally a lot more. I haven't really launched that career per se but >> you sing >> kind of >> really. >> Yeah. >> Professionally >> as professionally as an amateur is going to get. >> Do you get hired to sing? >> Yeah. >> So then you sing. >> I sing. >> If somebody's paying you for something. >> Yeah. >> That means you know >> Yeah. I do some exclusive events and with >> Do you have a dream of where you want to sing or speak? Is that something that you think about? >> Andreelli, I've always wanted to sing with him. >> Really? >> Yeah. Should I tell you a horrible story? Do >> you sing that type of that type of >> No, I don't. I sing opera. >> I have like a I like singing hoopas and stuff, you know, like and I do it for >> heartfelt. >> Yeah. Meaning, you know, meaningful moments. I do that. That's my Instagram. There you >> like horrible stories. Go Yeah. No, it's horrible in the sense that I've always I think he Andrea Bachelli sings absolutely beautifully and I can't remember what event it was and he came to Jibralta to do a concert and one of the um people behind the scenes who had arranged Belli coming to Jibralta said to me, "Oh, had you told me you wanted to sing with him? I probably could have made it happen." And just like seriously, okay, but it um >> it didn't happen. But um >> what kind of music do you do you like? >> Um I'm really an oldies fan. I like the old Jewish music. Like the the techno stuff of today really doesn't doesn't do it for me. >> You know Yasi Green >> ADA? >> He was on our podcast. >> Legend. Absolute legend. >> Yeah. You should listen to that one podcast. He was great. >> He >> we realize there's a lot of depth to him beyond his music. >> There has to be. You can't music like that if you if you're not. >> I feel like the two of you would connect very well. I would love you should have made them. >> He's a very worldly person. He also likes people. He also is a very big believer. He has a lot of right. >> Um and he's just very well he's connected. He's connected to spirituality. >> Yeah. >> And you seem very similar in that in that sense. I want you to recognize though there's a lot of people that are not like that. >> I almost too many people. I want to say the majority the majority of people are not connected. We're struggling struggling with that. And as time goes on, we're getting more and more removed and there's more distractions. You think there's distractions now? Wait five years, wait 10 years, you'll see what distraction really looks like. It's just getting worse. And this is probably the work of the the devil, let's call it, that he's out there. He sees what the potential and he's hustling, man. He's not He has got good work ethic >> and he's putting more and more and more things out there in front of us. That's just a st because we're getting very close, I believe, to the end of time. We're getting close, right? and he sees it's crunch time. We're in the fourth quarter, right? >> We're in the fourth quarter. It's late in the game. >> What are you talking about? It's fourth down time. >> It's fourth down time. >> How do you like that analogy from an Englishman? There you go. >> Feels all proud. He worked out a a real football analogy. >> I still don't know what it means, but go on. >> I'm joking. >> Last two minutes in the fourth quarter, not just fourth quarter. Yeah. >> But the bottom line is I'm saying most of us are it's it's very challenging. It's struggling. It's very and it's it's very daunting because I know our kids my kids are going to have a bigger struggle than than I even had. >> Yeah. >> And it's very nervous. So hearing you speak about all those things today, it makes sense to me. Yeah. >> You're speaking logic and >> there's a lot of credence to what you're saying. I I agree with it, >> but you know, a part of me is sort of laughing it off like, yeah, easier said than done. Like easier said than done. Thank you. Um you know, you're on to it, but now I got to execute it. Now I got to do it. Good luck. That's where all the work lies. >> Well, by the way, the work is wonderful. I I don't think we should sherk that. It's true. And by the way, if you want your children to be in a better place, I'm sorry to say it, Charlie, but you've got to be in a better place. >> That's it. You know, look in we say we talk about you want your kids to walk in a spiritual path and and that's the collective, right? And all of a sudden it says all of a sudden it goes it goes singular. Why is talking to all of talking to all of the Jewish people? And the answer is you want collectively Jewish people to have amazing kids be amazing in your house when you sit in your I said it's a nice idea >> hard but >> the better you are the better off your kids will be in your family and the people around you will will be happier if you're happy. >> And to make and to make everlasting change you you have to take small measures small steps. just do little things, >> you know. >> How do you uh you do a lot of preaching and a lot of speaking and >> uh you work with teens and with families and with couples and and you're amazing, by the way. >> I'd hire you like if I would love to sit with you for an hour. It's you you you make me I feel better. I feel a little bit better after after hearing these things. >> Um especially that water drip analogy. That's >> it made it made such a difference to me. >> That's gold. That really is gold. and that deeper analysis that you gave because I thought of it always as the very basic thing that the way you know that anything over time you know will eventually erode but it's not that you missed the main point if you put all of it at once it won't work >> nothing will happen >> you put a little bit and then >> but you agree with me that America's trying to do it bigger better faster it's exactly the wrong thing to do >> I mean but America is the biggest strongest country so they're doing something huge there's huge admiration for that and by the way >> you know that the rest of the world always loves to hate in America but everybody takes their money everybody takes their Uh, let me ask him. What do you do for for work? How do you support yourself? How do you do you have like some >> guess I work for the Jewish community of Gibraltar and have done for many decades? Um, helped set up schools there. So, I'm very involved in a boy's high school, a girl's high school, and half of my time is spent very much under the radar. I call it in the trenches, you know, sitting with families. Um, I have little groups of couples that or or men or women and I just I give Shir and we learn together and it's just this principle just in in action. That's it. Just how can we be more present, less anxious, more focused doesn't mean not ambitious. Don't don't get me wrong. It doesn't mean naive. It means just go about your challenges in a healthy way. And when and perspective is so powerful. So powerful. Can I tell you an amazing story there was I was I was hired to go to speak in Toronto a number of years ago and um I remember saying the story. It was in this time of the year. It was in the shiva right we're talking about having just come from tishab and hashem says he wants us to be comforted. Comfort is a very it's a very strong word but it's also quite elusive if you think about it. What's what's the root of the word? Right? It means you talk to somebody with insurmountable tragedy and well, if you're British, say there there, have a cup of tea. What what do you do? Sorry for the sarcasm, but what does it what does it mean? And I it's it's a concept that I struggled with a lot and I do a lot of bereavement therapy. I do a lot of visits. I you know all the hospital visits of people who are dying and with their families etc. in Jibralta is very safic custom. It's beautiful. They sit the whole time with the person and if the person's looks like they're slipping away, they say vidu with them and shama with them. It's a very very specialish. But again the question, what does comfort look like? So I'll tell you a story which is astonishing, utterly astonishing. I said the story in in Canada and I've said it many times, but um I think it was in 2002 on September the 30th, Sergeant Ari Weiss was shot and killed by a sniper bullet I think in Nablas and Rabbi Stuart and Susie Weiss who had immigrated to Israel from the United States were sitting Shiva. Can you imagine for their I think 21-year-old son. I think he was a few months shy of his 22nd birthday if I've got the details correct. And can you imagine these poor young Israeli soldiers, his his comrades, his platoon mates go to pay a sha visit and the proverbial what do you say? >> You know, like what does one say? What what what does a person say? And as they were, you know, shifting from foot to foot, but credit the Israeli society, they show up. They they don't know what to say, but they're there anyways, which is arguably one of the most beautiful and powerful things we can do as people is just just be there. I'll just break off because I do this while I speak. I think it was Ravaria Lavine who once was walking in the streets of Jerusalem and he saw a notice on the side of a door saying the the Shiva house this way and he said, "A Jew is sitting sh I don't know who they are. I'm going to go and pay a Shiva call." So the great holy Tadic Ravari Lavine goes up the stairs, finds the corridor, goes down the alleyway and he finds this house of total strangers who are sitting sh and he shuffles in and of course they see the great presence. They stand up sit down and he sits in the corner of the room and he just sits there quietly present listening hearing their tears and after about 20 minutes of saying nothing he stood up and he bowed his head and he said and he left and you know the aim said afterwards that was the greatest comfort he comforted us he I could just we could just feel he was with us sometimes Not being a human doing, just be a human being. Just to be is so so powerful. But these young soldiers, they came to Rabbi Stuart Weiss and his wife Susie who was sitting sh they came from America. They made aliyah. Their son signed up and like years later they're burying him. It's like what does one say? And as they were sitting there, sort of behind Rabbi Stewart Weiss was a a a shelf, a mantle piece, and on it was a mangled twisted piece of metal. And one of the soldiers said, "Rabbi, is there a isn't there a story behind that piece?" It's a very odd ornament to keep in your front room. And Rabbi Steuart Weiss from Sitting Shiva took it down off the shelf and was playing with it in his hands. and he was just looking at this mangled twisted piece of metal and all of a sudden he burst out crying uncontrollably and he started to whail out loud and it was so awkward. Everybody in the room's like, "Oh my gosh, what's going on? Did somebody didn't say anything?" He was sitting fine 2 minutes ago and all of a sudden now and after what seemed seemed like an absolute age, he put up his hand and he says, "Guys, I have to tell you something. I'm blown away." He was like couldn't talk and eventually eventually he composed himself and he says guys let me tell you a story and he said my wife and I always wanted to move to Israel. Israel is everything. This is our home. This is our place. He said but we Americans we were used to the luxuries of America. We love America. America's got a lot of great stuff going on for it. Of course, people love to hate on it, but there's tons of good. Tons of good. He said, "But before we immigrated and before we moved to Israel, we said to ourselves, instead of sitting in our comfortable pods, wherever we are, and you know, let's go out there. Let's let's try and do a service for our Jewish brothers and sisters who are not being serviced. They're out in the middle of nowhere." And I think they went somewhere out into the Midwest and they set up a youth like a hill house like a youth place for where there was tons and tons of students but no no Shabas programs going on. No, no, you know, and Ry Stewart Wise set up a a a place and he started to do curve in the middle of nowhere and just across the way from him was a reformed temple and Rabbi Weiss made connections with the reformed temple and sat down with the rabbi there and said, "Look, I'm an Orthodox rabbi. You're a reformed rabbi. I know we disagree on a lot of stuff, but we can agree to disagree. I could still love you." Right? There's a beautiful phrase. I love this and I wish as all Jews we would adopt this. You can agree. Sorry. You can disagree without being disagreeable. We can disagree but you end with a hug. >> That's the way it has to be. I remember I once gave a speech and somebody was not happy with what I said. This happened to me and I got a stinging scathing attack email, >> right? And after I soothed myself off, it hurt. It hurt. And I took time before I answered. And I answered and I said something on the lines of, "Look, let's say this guy's a dentist. I wouldn't come into your practice and tell you how to do your job. I'm not a dentist. Last time I checked, you haven't done a degree in and education and a degree in therapy. You want to question why I'm doing things? Be a mench. Come and ask me. Don't attack me. Don't tell me how I should do it, but express your concerns. Preferably over coffee or lunch." And credit to this guy. The guy who attacked me says, "Absolutely, Rabbi. Let's do it." and we sat for a lunch. It was two hours and we fought like cats and dogs, but at the end of it, he said to me, "Okay, Rabbi, I hear where you're coming from. It's not necessarily something I would have done or thought, but you know what? I'm significantly inspired to hear that that's your message and you're sticking by it, and I see where you're coming from. I have respect for you. I'm not going to do it." And we ended with a hug. You should know he's one of my fiercest and staunchest supporters today >> because you know Roy Stewart Weiss did something similar. He sat with his reformed counterpart and he said to him, "Look, we don't have to agree, >> but we do have to care about each other." Exactly. >> And they had a great relationship. They did. >> And it was time to wrap up and they were going to go to to Israel. He said, "Do me a favor before I leave. Do me the honor. Be ambitious. Be be daring. Give me your youth for a Shabbaton. I know that reform. Come with see what an authentic Shabas looks like for us. You don't have to do it. And you don't even have to agree with it. But experience it, taste it, and then make the choice for yourself. >> Fair request, >> right? And you know what? Probably I would say I'm interjecting here. Because of the love and the bond that they had, this reform rabbi agreed. All right. Stuart Weiss went home. They said there's wife Susie, this has to be the mother of all showers, right? It has to be superb. So they went there. Absolutely. And so they went about organizing this spectacular weekend >> and they did they put all their energy into it and it was a special shabas. They took out some resort and Rabbi Stuart Weiss as he's sitting there sitting Shiva saying to the crowd he said as long as I live I'll never forget the name of the place that we went to. was called Okonamawak, Wisconsin. Like some red Indian name, you know, if you're allowed to say that anymore, right? Guardians names. Right. >> Right. This English guy knows. Okay. He's up to speed. >> There you go. Right. An Indian name, Okonamaw, Wisconsin. And he said, "You should know that Shabas was the angels were with us. It was gorgeous. We linked arm in arm from teenager with none from teenager. We made bonds for life." And he said, "As I sit here today, many years later, there are still some of those teenagers who were on that trip, who are now fullyfledged, committed Jews, because of that love, because of that shabas, I'll treasure that shabas as long as I live." He said, "It was my greatest achievement as a rabbi. It was so moving. It was so meaningful. It was so deep." He said, "I'm sitting here mourning the loss of my young child. There's nothing anyone in the world can say that will make me feel better. No one. He said, "But this is amazing because last year my son got hit by a bullet and you know how the Israeli soldiers, they fling their rifles across their chest and the butt is up this way and very often with a gi clip, an extra magazine clip, right?" He said the magazine clip was over my son's heart and the bullet hit it and ricocheted off and he was with broken ribs and everything, but I keep that piece of metal of his clip on my shelf all the time just as a reminder of the day my son's life was saved. He said, "It seems that the United States are sending stuff over to Israel and they're supplying our military with some equipment because as I hold this magazine clip in my hand, I kid you not." He said, "I see on the bottom it says made in Okconor, Wisconsin." >> I get goosebumps just saying it. >> Wow. >> He said, "I can only assume. Hashem's talking to me and saying to me, "Rabbi, your son's number was up a long time ago. >> I gave you another year. >> I gave you more time." And if we could look at life like that, if we could look at life like that, everybody knows life ends. This is a a journey. We're only on a journey. Money or no money, we're on a journey. And what we have to achieve in this lifetime is precious. It's infinite, but we're doing it with our finite hands. He said it's so interesting. He said what what is the word can also mean to reook at the same thing. Just look at it with a different perspective to reconsider. >> He said I'm truly comforted. I look at my son's death now not as a death of a young man but of a privilege of having had extra time with the most profound wonderful nama. And I get to call him mine and I got to he said it's the biggest gift. >> That's amazing. Right. >> Wow. >> No, you know, I knew you when we were 17, 18. You were not like this. We were just We were playing soccer. We were doing karate and gone soccer. >> We were having a good time. >> Um, I knew you had something in you and it's been a long I think I haven't seen you in over three decades, bro. Like, this is amazing. >> This is the first time your signature. >> I mean, no, we hung out. We hung out two days ago for the first time in 20 28 years, >> but we haven't had a meaningful conversation. >> I feel like I got a free therapy session. Also, I got so like inspired by you. You're an inspiring person. You really are. And the stories that you said touched the heart, >> especially that last story really took the cake. >> Thank you. >> Um and you know what? I'm leaving today a better person for it. Like this is going to sit with me. >> That means a lot. >> It's really going to sit with me. And I hope our listeners um are going to appreciate this as much as I am. And I think they will >> very hard not to let words enter into your heart that's coming from the heart. And what's clear about what you're doing, Michael, you guys met each other, you know, the last time 30 years ago. He went in one direction, you went in another direction. You you went in the business sector into the business world and very successful. He went into, you know, the and the education, you know, the people business and also being very successful and it's just two different journeys. It's funny how you're colliding again all these years and you could still learn from one another after all these years. It's unbelievable. It's amazing. >> And what's also amazing is that, you know, usually we started asking our guests, you know, uh for a message or who your mentor was. I'm finding that we don't even have to ask it anymore. >> Oh my god, we got a bunch of messages. >> It's just coming out naturally to say something. Right. Exactly. What would you message me? What What do you think you've been doing in the last Have you been listening? >> Where have you been? >> Compliments to all of us in terms of what we're doing and our growth here on the None of Your Business podcast and uh it's been amazing. We can't wrap up though without our staple of asking you who would you recommend who would fill that seat. Well, I think you know about that question that we're going to come to. So, do you have anyone in mind that you would think of that would be a good guest here? >> Um, there there are many many many people that would come to mind, but there's there's one, I think, brilliant speaker, historian. Um, his name is Rabb Aubry Hirs. He works for the J in London and and he's a fascinating person just because he's a wealth of knowledge. He's super detail orientated. He's been like done hundreds and hundreds of trips to Poland. He knows about our history so much and I think he's a fascinating person to talk to. >> Yeah. He lives in London. >> He comes to He comes here. >> Yeah, he comes here. >> What I'm going to do is >> There he is. You see his name? Aubry Hush. Right. >> Okay. >> We'll do this. Lean in everyone. >> Right. You see you there. Now I can't get you in. >> Yep. >> And I'm just going to say there's the picture. You can see it. >> Sure. Absolutely. Looks great. >> Think you should be on this podcast? >> Amazing. Amazing. All right. >> Before we leave, do you have any questions for us? >> Yeah. What's this podcast all about? >> It's turned into a very meaningful growthoriented podcast. Things that uh that we're taking from people. You know, we we both bring a tremendous value to the listeners and it has a depth, a meaning and also an entertaining and a fun. So, you talk about happiness and fun. >> Yeah. >> Um I think that's what we're all about. >> Beautiful. >> And I really like that. I like that Readers Digest uh title, you know, happiness and fun. That's that's really what it's all about here. and we're loving it. So, thank you everyone for joining and uh thank you to all of our listeners, our subscribers, our commenters. Uh we're loving the growth. Thank you to the Prime Source production team. Thank you so much for Twilly Alik Bloomstein and thank you to Saki and Yakov Langanger for really bringing it out of us and making it happen. And uh that's a wrap. >> That's a wrap.