Soul Stories - Episode #4 - Becoming a Doer

this is soul stories where we tell real life stories that yeah touch your soul i'm rabbi landau thank you for joining us over 25 years ago a 16 year old jewish girl from deal new jersey got to know a family in lakewood the family had a big challenge they were a large family and one of their children was a special needs child this 16 year old girl fell in love with this child and while the child caused the parents a tremendous amount of time and a tremendous investment of resources she began to assist the family to alleviate them from some of the craziness she'd come over after school she would bathe the child and give the child dinner get the child into pajamas so that the mother could focus on giving the rest of the children the attention they need homework supper quality time bedtime and slowly but surely other friends of this particular family began hearing about this very special young woman and the incredible service that she was providing for this family and they too called three families four families five families six families janine galvanized a few of her friends and began to provide care for some of the other families as well it was just a few teenage girls trying to help other people that's all that it was but before they knew it they realized that there was a tremendous need and they began to try to form a summer camp that summer camp was tremendously successful but the need for assistance for families with special needs children just kept on growing and janine and her friends realized that they were not equipped in their current situation to really really impact and so they decided they needed a home they needed a place and they wanted to rent a space where they could provide respite to all these families where they could do summer camp and all kinds of different programming they spoke to a noted community activist who laughed them off and said when you're adults come back and we can have a conversation this infuriated janine she knew there was a need and she knew something had to be done so her and her friends went and they located a space and they convinced the owner to give them that particular space and thus they launched apart a beautiful place for children to spend quality time special needs children and more importantly for their parents to receive a respite fast forward a bunch of years later this model of providing parents with an opportunity in the evening to take care of the rest of their family of bathing the children the special needs child of getting them dressed into pajamas of getting them ready for bed and hundreds of other programs and initiatives not just for the special needs children but for their families is a star in the lakewood jewish community and that star is called the special children's center they serve as hundreds and hundreds of children and have a multi-million dollar budget all the brainchild of a young girl janine who saw a need and decided to do something about it how many people do we know that are 16 year olds that see the need and don't do anything or even if they do something but they don't have a dream yet janine for some reason saw that there was a need and she never gave up relentlessly she pursued she persevered and today the special children's center is one of the most special places in the jewish world by the way that woman is janine schweiki the wife of the incredible singer yaakov whose heart and soul as well are totally dedicated to making sure that the special children's center is fully funded taken care of and continues to provide this incredible service to the jewish community this is such a important story for us to realize because we have to look at our lives periodically in the rearview mirror and say how many opportunities did we squander and how many opportunities do we capitalize on it's never too late it doesn't matter matter what age we're at it doesn't matter what stage we're at there is a need and there are things that can be done and there are doers those are the people that take the need and they do something about it and then there are observers people that see it they cluck their tongue and they continue with their regular life which one of those people are you great question to ask yourself i want to segue to a story and show you the relevance of the story and the connection to the first story one friday afternoon following the vietnam war an american boy who had served on the front lines called his father in california and he said to him dad i'm coming home this monday i'll see you and mom so soon as you can imagine the boy's father was overjoyed to hear the news the father hadn't seen his son since the start of the war and was aware that perhaps that would have been the last time but now all that had changed his son was finally coming home but dad added the boy i have to share one thing with you in my platoon there's another boy who i befriended and we became very close we accompanied each other through the thickest of battles and we always stood by each other's side throughout it all unfortunately my friend stepped on a mine and he lost both of his legs and an arm he's immobile and unable to continue fighting obviously and he doesn't even have anywhere to go his family can't provide for him i therefore would like to bring him home i'll take care of him i'll provide him with love and nurturing care they otherwise should have received from his family he needs the warmth of a home trust me dad his personality is extraordinary you and mom will love him after the father carefully said listen to his son's request he thought for a moment and then he said i understand what you're saying but our home is not really equipped for such a boy he served the country let the government take care of him it's their responsibility they'll find a home for him they'll provide for all his needs he'll be taken care of of course you can visit him whenever you want but our house that's not a great place for him to live there was a silence on the other end of the phone the son then reiterated daddy i promise you that you and mom will fall in love with him but his dad wouldn't hear of it my son he said i'll be honest with you if i bring this boy home we'll actually sleep to him we'll treat him with respect but deep down he's not going to feel like our son he won't feel like part of our family and we're going to resent having to deal with him and to take care of the many needs that will arise he's going to be a burden and he's going to take away from the peace and the serenity the equilibrium of our home it's not worthwhile starting that relationship try to find him somewhere else our home is not the right home the boy heard his father's decision he said he understood politely and said good night to his dad sunday night the phone rang in the house of the father and mother it was the police sir a young soldier that just returned from vietnam took his life the other day his body is in the morgue they need someone to identify him it seems like he may be a family member without the lay the father and the mother rushed to the morgue as soon as they arrived the police admitted them into the room where the body was held they lifted up the sheet covering the boy and there the father saw his own son missing an arm and both his legs and then the father realized his son's best friend wasn't his best friend it was his very own son the boy his son wished to bring home was none other than himself how often in our lives do we look at somebody else's issue do we look at somebody else's problem and say it's not my problem it's not my issue it's no there's no reason i should get involved let whoever is responsible for that person take care of that person not me but we have to understand that another person's problem is our problem all jewish people are family and when there's a problem in the community there's a family with special needs somebody is sick someone is ill we cannot stand by idly we cannot clock our tongues and just walk away our tradition teaches us jewish people are responsible for one another it's like a ship one person can't drill a hole in the ship and tell everybody else hey this is my cabin it's not a problem it's not an issue it doesn't work that way if the ship has a hole the whole ship begins to list and then eventually sink if there's a hole in our community if there's a void in our community it's our responsibility and we need to step up to the task and we need to do what needs to be done a 16 year old girl did it there's no reason that we cannot which brings us to our final and most amazing story which i heard firsthand in our community there were two young ladies that lost their father when they were teenagers and then eventually they lost their mother and they didn't have either parent and a wonderful amazing family in the community took them in so that they could have a place to sit shiva to mourn throughout this you know the shiva the seven days of mourning i went to pray at that shiva house we wanted to have a minion we want to have aquarium it's the right thing to do it was just the two girls but still the right thing to have a minion in the house of a shiva and i went to that house to pay to to pray with them multiple times i came in one morning of the shiva and the host looks at me and he says you're not going to believe what happened last night we'll talk to you about it after services and he shares with me the most remarkable story he says last night at about tennis there was a knock at the front door we had already stopped shiva it was after hours we were all settling down but some was at the door so i went to the front door and i look through the peephole and i see the strangest thing it's a woman and she's wearing a mask i was very taken aback you have to understand in our community 10 o'clock is considered midnight in most other communities i opened the door crack and i said who are you what do you want and she says is this the shiva house where those two young ladies who lost their father and their mother are sitting shiva he says yes what do you want she says please i just made a long journey from brooklyn to talk to the young ladies can you ask them if it's okay i'm sorry it's so late he said let me check and he went to the girls and they said no problem they came back out and they sat down in the salon and she sat across from them and she shared who she was she said my deepest apologies for coming so late but you have to understand something i'm a burn victim and i'm terribly i'm entirely terribly wounded i'm terribly hurt and the drive from brooklyn all the way here is a long drive and every bump and every stop is agony for me so i had to find somebody who could drive me who had rather larger car but more importantly could drive slowly so that the pain the journey shouldn't be as pain-filled i'm sorry i came so late i was hoping we can make it here earlier and she shared that her name is gail sassen who's gail sassoon well many of us know the terrible horrific story that took place a bunch of years ago where there was a fire on a friday evening in a home in flatbush and the family lost seven children in one day gail the mom was in that home on that day as well and she was severely burned and she lost seven of her children in one evening they they knew who she was they'd heard of her but they looked at her and said i understand so do we know you and then gail said shared something which is so amazing and mind-boggling she said a friend of mine shared that there were two young ladies that were sitting shiva for their second parent they were orphans they had no one left and i thought to myself no one could tell them no one could comfort them no one could say it's gonna be okay because it's not going to be okay how could a child consider going forward when they lost both of their parents she thought to herself maybe there's one person that they'll listen to and that's me she said i lost seven family members in one day and it wasn't that long ago and i thought i'd never ever be able to rebuild and to start over again i'd never heal but i want you to know something that every day that passes i feel a little bit better and the hole in my heart becomes a little less of a whole it becomes patch just to drop and i made the long arduous very painful journey here just to tell you girls that i'm telling you it's going to be okay that life will continue you'll rebuild the pain will eventually subside you'll never forget but you'll be able to function and thrive and god willing build your own homes she says i'm the only person that maybe you'll listen to i was at that intense pain and thank god i'm doing so much better i know the pain is intense at this moment but god willing you'll feel so much better at some point the girls were beyond grateful to her they really understood that what she was saying was true and they walked her out and she began the arduous and very painful journey all the way back to brooklyn imagine that for a moment a woman like gail sassoon had every reason and every excuse in the world when she heard about these two girls not to go every person in the world had more of an obligation perhaps to go try to comfort these girls but this woman who was in such physical pain and she was in her own veil of tremendous agony she had no obligation to get up get someone to drive her such a difficult and painful journey and spend time with these young ladies an hour of time and then leave at 11 o'clock at night and have to go all the way back she didn't have to but you see there are people out there like we said before they see a need and they can't stand by idly they have to do something and gail was one such woman she saw a need she saw someone in pain she did something about it so let's take a little bit of time to try to be like janine to try to be like gail and god forbid not to be like the dad of this poor vietnam veteran let's not ignore our responsibilities let's not ignore the community let's open our hearts and our souls and when we see something and we see someone that needs something let's do it with our complete heart and when we do that we'll strengthen our own lives and we'll become people who are much more complete much more wholesome and also people who are much more fulfilled and happy if you enjoyed this podcast please share it with your family and friends if you loved it why not sponsor an episode contact sponsor kalatorakula [Music] ulah.com until next time