Stop PRAYING! Think about THIS first | Living with Emunah #369

Good morning. Welcome back to Living with Amuna. So glad and grateful to have you here in our Amuna support group. Learning together, living together, growing our Amuna together. Help yourself the corner to some coffee, slushies, pastries, and the like. Amuna is generously sponsored by our dear friends Avi and Bella Morgan in memory of everybody Dr. Brian Gabbin in memory of Bella's mother Dr. Ellen Shanzer. We remain incredibly grateful to the Morgans for their generosity. It has also co-sponsored the series anonymously in memory of the 30 fallen soldiers and alumni of Ben David Mkhani. And this week we're highlighting Captain Deal Susa who was 23 years old dam platoon commander in the Golani brigade. He was stationed at the IDF outpost in ontora morning sle commander on duty. Thanks to his bravery most of his soldiers survived. His soldiers testified decel saved our life and fought to his last drop of blood. was buried on Harertzel October 12th. He is survived by his parents and by his three older siblings are learning should be leoy nishma. So I would say except his soul can't go any higher. It is already next to the kha cavote sh is al is also sponsored by and gordon house on the fourth year site on the fourth of tes commemorating the 30th year site of her mother and for the speedy complete and painless of our dear friend Gdalia Benos he should come home today and he should be walking and running and out and about in no time and we'll also throw in Rabbi Titus's 30th year at site why not we'll throw that onto the house's sponsorship the great rabbi tights the rebel of Elizabeth his 30th year at site is uh tonight tomorrow I think 30th year site by fea in honor of Zarnes's birthday who lives with amuna every day and family and family m family and by iet kabum wishing her husband had wonderful surgery yesterday successfully should have a speedy complete bounce back from his back surgery he should be back doing karate in no time and lots of other things too. Okay, I I have so much to say. We got so much to learn. We got so much to cover. I don't know where to start. So, let me start with uh let me start with this even before I get into letters. I want to sh start with Torah. Not to say for we're learning. We'll get into that too as well. But I want to start with an insight from this para. Maybe I said it in the past, but every year when we encounter it in vigash, it has an enormous impression on me and I hope it will on you. It essentially is one of the letters that's only written by Yoseph to all of us in our para because and I don't want to belabor it. I don't know when people are listening to this at maybe it'll be in the middle of the summer now, but the story is just as relevant. The lesson and insight are just as relevant nonetheless. Yoseph who has lived through Ghanam. Yoseph, who lost his mother when he's eight years old, who's isolated and marginalized by his brothers, his half brothers, who is they want to kill him. Instead, they settle on selling him into slavery to Ishmael. He makes his way to Egypt where he's falsely accused and thrown in a pit and suffers in a dungeon and a prison for 12 years until he finally gets out. And Yoseph who 22 years alienated from his father who loves him with all of his dreams and all of his aspirations and all of his big ideas. The opposite is happening to him. And does Yoseph become bitter and resentful? Does Yu become pessimistic and negative? Does Yoseph ever for one moment say, "Woe is me and why me and where is Hashem? And how could this happen? What the world owes me?" Yoseph doesn't suffer with martyrdom. Yseph doesn't suffer passively with victimhood. Yseph sitting in prison, sees two people suffering. It says, "No." Why so sad? Why do you look so downtrodden? What can I do? How can I lift your spirits? That's Yoseph. If anyone was ever entitled to retreat to the corner of his prison cell and keep only to himself, it was Yoseph. Instead, he sees others who are sad and he says, "How can I make you happy?" And then we have this week's para, the big reveal. The big reveal. Yoseph can't take it anymore. He can't take it anymore. And so he has to reveal himself. He clears the room. He announces, "Give me the room to his staff and they all leave. They give him the room. They give him the room and he says, "I'm Yseph. Is my father still alive?" Why does he say my father, not our father? And he knows he's alive because Yehuda just said, "You're going to kill our father." That we spoke about yesterday in the para class. But I want to tell you what Yoseph says next. Because what Yoseph I think I hope I wouldn't, but I think I probably would say next is, "Yeah, I'm Yoseph. Remember me? Remember what you tried to do to me? Remember how you treated me? Tell me again, you're hungry. You want some food? You need me now? Look how things turn out." Yoseph instead says extraordinary words. Yoseph says extraordinary things to them. Yoseph turns and he says, Don't be distressed and don't reproach yourselves. Don't beat yourselves up and don't be sad. Why not? Why not? Because Yseph says, "I'm Yseph points out that is reminiscent of the language." When Moshe breaks the Hashem turns to him and he says, "Good job. Job well done. That was the correct action. Good for you. Says this is that word ashart. What Yseph was saying to them was thank you for selling me into slavery. This was all part of Hashem's plan. This was part of the divine plan. Thank you. Don't worry. I'm not going to take revenge. I'm not going to beat you up. I'm not going to be resentful. I'm not going to hold it against you. I found in my heart the capacity to forgive. You need to still ask for forgiveness. what you did was wrong and you need to earn it and ask for it. But know that I'm ready to forgive. I'm prepared to forgive. And what gave him the strength and the capacity to forgive? This is Yoseph's email to me and to us. Dear Amunashir, I my brothers, you won't believe what they put me through. Dear Amunashir, first of all, Rabbi Go, you're so great. Yada yada yada. [laughter] For sure. For sure. Yoseph wrote that. No, he's had sadic. He's had sadic. He would want me to feel good. But then he'd write yada yada yada because he'd know that I would feel awkward and I wouldn't want to read it. So that's what Yose would write. So dear Rabbi Goldberg Mashia, first of all, where can I get the swag? Second of all, you're great yada yada. And third of all, know that it was really hard for me. I lost my mother at 8. They mistreated me from the beginning. They sold me into slavery. I've been a language of prison. But I want you to know what got me through it the whole time was I embraced my place. I knew I was where I was meant to be. What got me through it was understanding. I don't want to take revenge. I don't want to get even. And I never got angry because all along I knew this is where Hashem wanted me. After all, I had dreams. And in my dreams, they would be coming. They would be bowing down. In my dreams, I would be on top of the world. Not out of ego, but out of elus. In my dreams, I would be the one who would save an economy. I would be the one making aesi. I knew it. Rabbi Goldberg. And that's what got me through it. That's what enabled me and supported me. That's what allowed me to get through it. Yoseph in that moment made a choice. He could focus on their actions. He could be deeply hurt. He could be injured and wounded. He could be a victim and a martyr. He could want revenge and get even. But instead, he does what's called in cognitive therapy, reframing. Cognitive therapy has a concept called reframing. And what reframing means is just like we can have a painting or picture and we change the frame it looks different. that picture which was worn or tired or old or we didn't like all of a sudden it's in a new frame and I see it totally differently and now I love it now I want to hang it on my wall even though the picture is exactly the same but the frame changes everything about it so too our life and our events and our experiences can look exactly the same but what's the frame that we put around it what frame do we put around it rabbi Lord Sax points out that while Yoseph may have been the first to employ the reframing technique it's what enabled and empowered us to navigate nearly every impossible circumstance since then. And he writes the following. Victor Frankle showed there's another way and he did so under some of the worst conditions ever endured by human beings in Avitz. As a prisoner there, Frankle discovered the Nazis took away almost everything that made people human. Their possessions, their clothing, their hair, their very names. Before being sent to Ashitz, Frankle had been a therapist specializing in curing people who had suicidal tendencies. In the camp, he devoted himself as far as he could to giving his fellow prisoners the will to live, knowing if they lost it, they would soon die. Franco writes that he was able to survive ash by daily seeing himself as if he were in a university, giving a lecture on the psychology of the concentration camp. Everything that was happening to him was transformed by this one act of the mind into a series of illustrations of the points he was making in the lecture. Awitz for him became a university, a lecture hall. He was teaching everything he had been learning and practicing before the war. All that therapy, he reframed where he was in the experience he was going through. And that's what Yseph is trying to get his brothers to see about their situation. He says, "I know you see the same picture I see. You're the ones who did it. You drew this picture. But I want you to share the frame I put around it. And when you see the frame I put around it, you'll understand I can live and function with no anger and no outrage and no thirst for revenge. Reframing the picture enabled him to forgive his brothers. All right, Rabbi Sachs, the frame transformed negative feelings about the past into a focused mission about the future. And that's every email I get. That's what we're all working on. What gives us the strength and the energy and the capacity to reframe? I shared this in an article two years ago because there was an extraordinary woman if you remember Iris who um welcomed the soldiers who had killed do you remember >> she wrote this letter I am Yotam's mother I want to tell you I love you very much to the soldiers who mistook these hostages for enemies and shot and killed them she reframed the whole story and invited those soldiers to comfort and strengthen them a modern-day Yoseph we have that capacity She wrote in this letter to them, "How hard is it and how sad is it?" It was apparently the right thing in that moment. What you did was the right thing in that she put a new frame around what they had done. Enabled them to be able to move on. Reframing like Yosephadic, we have that capacity to reframe our experiences. Yoseph did it and taught us and ingrained it in us. And we all can too to reframe it to see it differently and to understand it and to try to make sense of it. We had two nights ago one of the greatest nights historic nights at Bocaron synagogue. Bar Cooperstein was here spent 738 days held hostage by kamas tortured in ways we hadn't even fully known. He mentioned in passing, oh yeah, then they came in my cell and they broke my leg. >> Like it was just a passing thing he mentioned, you know, and they starved us. We had half a pitha. When they finally fed us, they gave us a piece of cheese that was covered in worms. How they denied, how they deprived, no bathroom. He he was his His presentation though with a smile with energy. He took us through a PowerPoint where we watched with him the video of his being taken captive, pictures of him in captivity. But he told extraordinary stories of Amuna. He reframed his life there and how grateful he was to Hashem. First of all, he talked about And I'll put the video in in bin in our amuna chat. If you're not in the WhatsApp group where we put some bonus content, announce the schedule this year, make sure you join. But he talked about how when he got out a short time later, someone broke into his car, the car window was broken. They stole his phone. In the past, he would have been bent out of shape, terribly upset. Instead, he stood there and he left and he said, "Thank you, Hashem." These are his words. "Thank you, Hashem. At least I'm not in a tunnel underground being deprived food. This is my issue. reported to the police. No problem. He got his phone back and they found who did it to the car. I asked him afterwards, but he was able to reframe. This is no big deal compared to what could be. And he said he lives his life that way. Now, anything less than held hostage, broken your leg, cheese with worms, he can deal with, he can take because he's reframed his life with a sense of thank you, Hashem. He discovered a radio in the tunnel and he tuned it in. He picked up an Israeli news station. Of course, he didn't tell Kamas. And Dava, the day he tuned in on that radio, on that news, who were they interviewing? His mother. >> His shy, modest mother, who would never go on the news or radio was being interviewed. Why? Because it was his birthday. >> And he described here was sitting languishing in captivity, 730 days, another birthday, feeling so alone, wondering if anyone out there even cares. and his mother's being interviewed on the radio and what is she saying? She's inviting the whole world to hostage square to celebrate Bar's birthday. How by the way putting on his fillin because he couldn't and he described all he wanted those 738 days desperately was to wear fillin. All he wanted to do was put on fillin and then he showed a picture that when he got out he went back to Nova which is where he was taken from at the exact time that he was taken to put on fillin at 6:30 6:29 at the exact time in the exact place finally put on this fillin he longed to put on that he had a radio heard his mother interviewed only that day to invite everyone to celebrate his birthday when he was feeling so alone and he put a new frame around the whole experience. What a night. What a hero. absolutely beyond extraordinary and said many other stories as well. It was amazing. Like Yoseph, we have that capacity. Whatever we're going through in our life, don't get angry. Don't get outraged. Don't be a victim and don't be a martyr. Don't be pessimistic and sad and despondent and disappointed and depressed. Don't look to take it out on other people or take it out on Hashem or take it out on yourself. Reframe and understand as he did. I asked him that night, bar, he had gone back and forth 10 times. He was the head of security at the Nova event and even though he could have run away and escaped, he was on his way. He went back and he saved countless people 10 times. When he went back, that 10th time is when he was taken by kamas. So I asked him those 738 days, did you sit there saying to yourself, why did I go back? I regret going back. What did that do to my parents that I was taken into captivity? How did I suffer so? And he said, I would do the same thing again. If given the opportunity, I would do the exact same thing again. Person who could look and live his life and reframe it. How? By embracing his I was where I was meant to be. He essentially used that language. I was where I was meant to be. That's where Hashem put me. He said they were six people in a tiny area with no access to food or a bathroom and they fought a lot. Which I really loved that he gave us the honest true description of how it was. There was no like after the fact made for movies version. But here's what he said. We fought and it wasn't easy. He said, "But somehow every Friday night we made peace. Nobody fought. We made kdish on a cup of water with bugs in it and and we sang miros. Shabas came and there was peace." What he described it was it was just an extraordinary night. We have that capacity. That's what these are all telling us. That's that ability. And who we just dam for our dear friend fell on Shabas coming to shul 17 stitches on his forehead broken hipah took him to the hospital and here's our first Psalm 23 sighting in the emergency room which cubicle do you think they put him in >> number >> 23 and he turned to his wife who's here who can attest to it and he said I am where I meant to be you imagine a broken hip 17 stitches on your forehead. He's a handsome man. I hope it was a good plastic surgeon. >> I'm sure he's going to continue to be a handsome man. And there with a with a forehead split open and a hip that's fractured, he looks at the number on the room and says, "Oh, a hug from Hashem, a reminder I am where I meant to be. I wish I weren't could have been done differently but if I'm here so there are people in our own community in our own shir in our own lives like Yoseph put a different frame around put a different frame around it and a different perspective I I saw him yesterday instead of bitterness or anger or why me or the shul or this or that. It's the way it was meant to be. It's no problem. I'm going to bounce back. That's what Hashem had planned. I have a bigger and better hip than I've ever had. It's going to be dunking a basketball before you know it. It's going to be unbelievable. It's going to be unbelievable. Someone shared with me, this was online, Boro Park matzah bakery, the owner of Ken Brown. There was a five alarm fire at his matzah bakery. And I say matzah, it was just kanuka. >> I'll tell you a little secret about the matzah you're going to eat next pesak. It's already been made. >> So the bar park matzah bakery five alarm fire burnt it down. What did the owner Brown hang outside the matzah bakery? a huge sign that says ain't ovado. That's the reframing of it. Ain't ovado. He hung a huge banner outside. Ain't ovado. Not wo is me and why me and my parnasa and my matzah bakery and my matzah factory and what will I do this year but ano milva milvado on the exterior wall of the building. A striking expression of faith, strength and resilience following the devastating blend blaze. Absolutely amazing, incredible, extraordinary. Why do we share all this? First of all, we already did some learning. Again, we're going to read some emails, but just so I feel better. I know you don't care. But that Yoseph reframing Victor Franco, Rabbi Saxs, a whole new perspective. It's more I'll tell you the end of it. Again, I wrote this all up in an article. I'll post it also. Bleeder, you'll remind me. But in his Tanya, we learned Tanya Wednesday mornings before this year. The alterba emphasizes that if we change the way we think, we'll change the way we feel. If we change how we feel, we'll transform how we behave. So if we're willing to reframe this is exactly the therapy cognitive the behav cognitive therapy cognitive behavioral therapy is cognitive behavior change the way you think you change the way you feel it'll change the way you behave so if you go in complaining and negative and critical and is me and I'm a victim and the world's out to get me where's God and the people and everybody and that's it then you'll be a miserable negative nobody want to be near you and if you live life like in prison hey brothers what's going on? Why you so sad? What can I do for you? And then he sees his actual biological brothers and he says, "Whoa, relax atvu. Don't don't worry. Don't be sad. This was Hashem's plan. Then you'll be able to be like Gordon. Then you'll be able to lie in bed after hip surgery and say, "I was where I was meant to be. This was Hashem's plan. Then you'll be like Bar Cooperstein who's singing and jumping. You got to see this video singing into the micro audio teroto. Adio." Unbelievable people. Unbelievable. His father who was injured in a motorcycle for United Atsalah answering a call years ago was paralyzed but committed that if Bar would get out he would learn to get up out of the wheelchair to greet him and give him a hug. And you must have seen that video. That's exactly what happened. When Bar came home, he got up, stood up, that embrace. Unbelievable. Bar said it was the greatest moment of his life. See his father stand up again. So all reframed. How did his father stand up again? Because that was his promise when his son was taken. Reframed. All reframed. All reframed. Ysephic. All from Yseph says the good. If you change the way you think will change the way you feel, we'll change the way you behave. So whatever you're going through and now I could read the emails because that is all the background of these emails. That is the background of these emails. Dear Rabbi, your story this past week about the experience really resonated with me, especially the three-hour wait for your luggage. It seemed like this is a running theme with Newark airport. Let me jump into my story. I had to I had a flight to Tel Aviv from New York. They were supposed to leave 11:35 Moz Chabas. It got delayed to 12:15, then 2 a.m., then 6:00 a.m., then 6:30 a.m., 7 a.m., 8 a.m., and at 5:45 they put us on a new security line where we waited an hour. Even though we didn't leave the gate, they informed us the flight was cancelled. >> Throughout this whole idea, I was calm and I was truly embracing my place in the United Terminal. I know that if this would have ever happened in the past before listening to the shear, I may have had a very different reaction, but I was able to stay calm throughout. When they told us our flight was canceled, there was a couple nearby with young children that I didn't know. They got on a different flight at 1:15 with Lal and they treated me like family, pushing for me to get on the new flight with them. Three hours is a very long time to wait for your luggage as you shared. Since I was flying a different airline, I had to reclaim my luggage. They told me it could take one to five hours. That felt like a really, really long time. could have caused me to miss my new flight. I felt like Hashem was truly testing my amuna. But I'm so grateful you shared your three-hour experience because it helped me get through mine. After waiting for two hours more, we received our luggage, started the whole process again, including delays on the air that got stuck. As I learned, I embraced my place. As you mentioned in the email, it's not to boast, rather to show the growth due to the Shirum. And I feel the same way. I'm happy to be writing finally on my LL flight to Israel. This could have been something that in the past would have made me feel angry, annoyed, upset that I have completely no control over. But this year taught me that every challenge is an opportunity to grow in my amuna. I felt like I got a huge hug from Hashem when my father called me right before I took off and told me United refunded the full flight, giving me credit to fly to Israel with them again, plus extra money. No one else received this refund. It seems like Hashem was telling me how proud he was of me, how I handled the situation. Thank you for helping me grow on the Amuna. Where can I order the decals and the luggage tags? Okay. So, she's not showing off. I wasn't showing off. Why do we read? Why do we share? Why is this part of the amuna? Because it gives us all the strength. She reframed after what sound like a long and difficult, not a victim, not a martyr, not woe is me and why me? But why am I here? What am I meant to learn from it? What am I meant to do with it? Where do I go with it? This is all from it's all from Hashem. I go over want to thank you and your family. It's supposed to be in Israel last week. part of my preparations along with the packing, checking the flights, packing entertainment for the young kids. I made sure to listen to the shear before we left. I'm naturally quite an anxious person, especially when it comes to flights and getting places on time. I knew I'd need to have the living with the moon voice in my head. When we landed, we headed straight to the rental car place. Kids were tired, hungry, ready for the bed. We saw a long queue. Let me translate. It's a line. We prepared ourselves to be there for a while. We waited and waited and waited. Ordinarily, I would have been very stressed. Why are they not giving us a car? We had a booking. We're waiting with young kids. The kids are not going to manage here for much longer. Instead, thanks to the share, I was uncharacteristically calm. I sat on the floor in Bengory and played with my kids and handed out snacks to the kids of other families who were also waiting. After two hours of queueing waiting, the car rental place informed everyone they had no cars and we could all leave or wait another few hours. Very annoying and frustrating situation, but because I kept replying in my head, you are where you're meant to be. Everyone was absolutely fine. Kids were happy. We're able to move on without getting frustrated. A small issue, but it had a big impact. Thank you for everything. Reframing. It's all reframing. It's all embracing our place. We are meant to be. You never provided more cars because you got anxious. Getting angry, getting anxious, feeling like a victim and a martyr, being resentful and bitter just ruins your vacation. Just spoils the time with your children online. Doesn't make any cars appear, doesn't make any reservation come up. We had more Psalm 23 sightings afraid. Have I got a Psalm 23 story for you? A few weeks ago, I took a spill, landed in the hospital with a broken femur. It's a theme. Second day of my hospitalization coincided with my Gregorian birthday. And in true Toto, we're not in Kansas or New York style. The hospital staff working on my floor paid me a morning visit and regailed me with happy birthday wishes and songs. An hour or so later, a member of the clergy was obviously not Jewish, stopped by to wish me happy birthday and presented with a small teddy bear holding a happy birthday balloon. He then proceeded to ask me which faith I was. And I responded, "I'm Jewish." He asked me if I say Psalms. I told him I do every day. And he said he hopes that God will help me with a quick recovery. I told him I don't hope. I know he will because he always has. After all, we're not merely related. He's my father and I'm his child. At this point, the gentleman asked me if I had already recited my daily psalms. and I told him I would do it later. He took out his well-worn psalms and asked if he could recite his favorite psalm to me. I said yes and I'll give you one guess as to which capitol it was. Psalm 23 is my five favorite as well. I thanked him for the prayer we parted ways. He departed. I remained lying albeit not in green pastures rather in my hospital bed. Over the past few weeks as I was recuperating at home with Irad and staff, I had plenty of time to reflect on the bond I'm fortunate to have with Hashem. How exercising my muscle have strengthened my relationship with him. And the goodness and mercy of Hashem shall follow me all the ways to New York next week where I plan to be dancing at my grandson's wedding. My cup truly runth over. I love that she wo all of the that was really well done. Very well done. Beautifully well done. So another Psalm 23 sighting. Ah um okay let's do one or two more and then get to our text. Uh okay I've been listening to the for almost a year and it gives me I need during difficult times the past few months I've been back and forth through at the fertility clinic hoping to finally build our family. Today was the end of my first cycle on medication after months of being pushed off because of holidays and travel. I was hoping for positive test results and I was finally pregnant. I drove back, put on the amunachir from last week. I didn't finish it by the time I got home. A few hours later, I got back the results that I am not pregnant. I was extremely disappointed. I was questioning everything. Why not? Why was this month not the month? Did I do something wrong? What if it won't work next month? I was so upset at the idea of starting over. Throughout the idea, I went through moments of clarity where I felt grateful and thanking Hashem it wasn't this month. And moments where I was disappointed at the thought of starting the long and draining process over. As I started prepping dinner, I put on the rest of the shear. At the end, the closing statement you shared was not to give up hope and the next test could be positive. Not to give up. I felt that it wasn't by chance I heard that message when I needed it most. I'm going to work on embracing my place knowing Hashem knows exactly when the right time for that positive test result will come. Thank you for the I hope to share good news soon. May she and all share only of good news over and over. We all desperately need it. We all desperately need it. Um, by go, I've been dreaming about writing this email for the longest time and so grateful to Hashem for bringing this moment where I can share my nace. Last year on Kaneka, I was so excited to find out I was expecting. It had taken some time and I was so grateful for giving me a Kaneka nace, a miracle. But as we know, a nace can stand for nion, a test. And that is what that nace ended up being. The pregnancy ended up in a loss. And I was beyond devastated, so angry at Hashem. and she wrote me an email last year at the time. I saw him in my loss and there was a lot of amazing ways where I saw his hand but I felt like I didn't want to see his hand in the loss as it felt like a smack as opposed to a hug. I was telling this to my friend that she recommended your podcast. I became a big fan. It was a really trying and difficult niece and the podcast really helped me learn to embrace my place or at least try to. When I found out I was pregnant, I was naturally both excited and anxious. I would tell people your podcast was my oxygen to get me through the anxiety by showing me to embrace my place. I'm so grateful to Hashem for bringing me full circle and returning my Kaneka nace to me by giving me a healthy baby boy on the fifth night of Kaneka. >> And yes, I listen to this week's podcast during labor. It's a schooloola for an easy labor. [laughter] It's funny people want to hear me while they're in labor because y told me just stop talking. Just stop talking. [laughter] I know it doesn't always work out that way, but I'm so grateful to Hashem for bringing this nast full circle. Thanks for the it helped me and my family. Those are the beautiful, beautiful. Everyone who sends the email that they have to embrace their place in sadness. Everyone should be za to be able to send the email. They're embracing their place in joy, too. There are more I want to read and I'm saving these for next week because they're worth reading. They're all worth reading. I'm grateful to them all. Please send and write them all. They're all good for you and for me. So, please continue to send. We're on page 128 in. And we've been learning about the idea that's counterintuitive about ding for amuna. Even though we think that amuna is something that you have, what's the point of davening if you don't have faith? But we've been learning about the importance of praying for faith. Even when you're struggling, even when you're buffering, even when you feel you don't have high speed to davin for faith in our lives. So, we last left off. We last left off with a little sweet summary of what are what it's not. Is it a commandment? Is it a prerequisite? You're not commanded to breathe. We don't need to be commanded to believe because that's the spiritual breath in our lungs that gives us life. Or maybe there is a mitzvah. But is not that Hashem will do everything the way I want. It's not that Hashem will conform to me. It's rather that I work and I surrender to him and I'm in his world. See where we are at the bottom of the right hand column has an impact on prayer. If you're not I want to say this backwards. There are all kinds of incredible projects, campaigns to work on better concentration in prayer, all kinds of davining campaigns. Stop the talking, start the kavana, bookmarks, handouts, all kinds of camp. They're wonderful. There happens to be one in our community. I'm speaking in one of the schools for parents. There's one that's happening. They're beautiful. They're wonderful. There's no criticism of them. They're fantastic. But here's the thing. Here's the thing. Yes. If you don't know what you're saying, it's going to be hard to connect to the words. For people who don't understand what the words mean and they're dabbing in a foreign language, like imagine someone gave me phonetically how to pronounce Japanese and I said it. Obviously, I wouldn't feel connected to it. So, for so many people who don't know what the words mean and what the themes are and why and what and what we're saying, of course, it's going to be hard to connect. And absolutely, that's where the campaigns come in. But here's the thing. If you don't have a relationship with the shepherd, if you don't know him, if you don't feel his presence in your life, if you don't hear him talking to you, if you don't feel his hand on your shoulder, if you don't feel the hug and the wink from him, then of course you're not going to connect to talking to him. I don't connect to talking to this table because I don't think it hears what I'm saying. I don't connect to talking to the wall because it's an exercise in futility. It's foolish and ridiculous and silly. And if you don't believe in Hashem, if you're not invested and involved in a relationship with Hashem, if you're not inspired to talk to him and to hear him talking to you, then of course your ding is not going to get started. And that's essentially in other words, what is saying here before you begin to it's not about talking and we'll create all kinds of signups and we'll say and we'll pay people who don't talk and we'll it's not all about the campaign. If you're somewhere you don't want to be doing something you don't know why you're doing it talking to a wall then yeah it's going to be very hard to get connected. So after you believe in Hashem there are all kinds of things we need to do like understanding file and we do sitter snippets. We're up to I think nearly 700. I don't remember what number. A lot of sitter snippets. We offer sitter snippets because we believe in we started at Modi. We're at Alkin the end of the Amida. We're making our way through the sitter because we believe you need to know what you're saying. But yet before we talk about knowing what we're saying, you need to know who you're saying it to and why you're saying it to him and hear when he talks to you. Amun is the prerequisite. Amun is the foundation. Amun is the platform to meaningful prayer. If you don't have faith, if you don't have feeling, if you're not in an inspired dynamic living relationship with Hashem, it's going to be very hard to tolerate, let alone be transformed and inspired by it. Who's the he says in the name of the Bashm is the is the grandson of Bashm. The platform to everything we do is faith is a connection to Hashem. Why am I lighting candles? Why am I shaking a love? Why am I lighting candles? Why am I putting on? Why does it matter that I not gossip? Why am I honest in business? Why do I observe the 39 categories of creative labor on chabas? Why do I make a before I sip my coffee? Why? What is it all about? But much more than only the ritual why. The why of my life. Why am I here? Why did I wake up? What is my mission? What is my purpose? Why am I in this moment? Why am I stuck in New York airport? What is it all about? It's that why. It's that why. It's the foundation. It's the the root the foundation. You don't have a strong foundation, it will all crumble. I talked about when they poured the foundation of our new expanded building how important how critical it is we offered a special file as they poured that foundation because everything follows the foundation and if the foundation is not strong everything built on it will crumble you can't build anything on it because it will just sink so the foundation of all of our life not only the foundation of the mitzvah and the rituals we do but the foundation of life why am I here what's my mission what's my purpose why did I wake up why do I have these relationships and why do I have these resources And what am I meant to do with these talents and skills? And why am I going through this challenge and this test? And how am I meant to endure? What am I meant to take away from this moment? It all the answer to it all is amuna faith, conversation, connection, feeling from Hashem. That's all the prerequisite to dabing that leads to an inspired ding. We learned in the past. He doesn't quote it here. That's why says the gar tells us that when do you want when do you get if you're this morning when you ded or when you'll still yet when you finish after the last after we say three steps forward we start our says the rabbis if There's so if you finish and you start the right away you get a glimpse of you mean you finish ga and you didn't go have a coffee you didn't go answer email you didn't take the garbage to the curb such a big deal yeah the sitter says after comes the yeah we say it right after such a big deal such a grandiose reward for doing what you're supposed to and what's obvious and frankly what's easy what's in the sitter and what we've been doing every day of our lives says I take those three steps forward and I say by the way we learned that from this week para three times appears in the Torah three steps forward we approach Hashem to advocate to ask to demand so I take those three steps forward and I might say to myself why am I talking to him this feels like I'm talking to the wall is he really listening Does he really care? Will he really answer? Why? Why am I doing this? How many amidas did I d and it feels like I got to know? It feels like nobody was home. Feels like nobody was listening. I didn't feel connected to what I was saying. How many times? So why am I doing this? Why am I doing this? Says Raoba. That's what it means to be so right before I take three steps forward and I say, "Hashem, will you redeem me from my problem? Will you repair and fix what's broken? Will you answer my needs? Right before I ask him, I remember gal Israel. You did it before you could do it again. You're the one who every time KL felt stuck between the rock and the hard place, between the Egyptians and the sea, 10 plagues, splitting of a sea, and the miracles of everything since then. The Ravakoben writes in his sitter basen writes that all the miracles of the survival of the Jewish people since then are much greater of any of the miracles that came before. Not for me to say such a thing. Ravyakov Amden writes it. of Yakobden writes that the miracle that we're still here despite countless systematic attempts to exterminate, to expel, to destroy, to eliminate inquisition, crusades, pugs, expulsions, holocaust, and here we still are. Each of those miracles are greater than the 10 plagues and the splitting of the sea as that's what writes in his that says Ra is what we're supposed to think about. You did it before, you could do it again. Why am I here? Why am I asking you? Why am I turning to you for all these things that I need? Because you've done it before. You could do it again because you're the one who always does it. So what comes before essentially before I take three steps forward and I turn to Hashem and I say heal, provide sustenance and livelihood, bring justice, protect our people, bring redemption. Before I come take three steps forward and ask you for all these things I need. I stop. I pause. I take a deep breath. Amuna go. You did it before. You could do it again. Let's go. Let's have this conversation. I know you're the one to turn to. You're the one. You're the one. You know, person, god forbid, is having a problem. Someone says, "This is the lawyer. He's gotten everyone off. He's fixed everyone's problem. He corrected everyone's situation. He's the one who could do it." Before you walk in that office, you reread that email. Why am I here? Why am I spending all this money? Why am I taking this time? Oh yeah, look at all the people at all the times you did it before. You get in with that doctor nobody could get into because they're the best doctor. You get into the best doctor and then you say again, why am I paying all this taking this time? Why did I wait in the waiting room as long as I did? Let me reread again. Oh yeah, because this is the one who knows what they're doing and did it so many times before. Before we take our three steps forward, I have all these needs, all this brokenness, all these things. Why am I turning to you? Amuna. So we reaffirm, we reestablish, we replenish, we nourish our amuna right before gel, right before we start our amuna, our amida, because amuna has an impact on our. So if you think you're going to work on your tila, you're going to work on your davening because you signed up for this campaign, you get that email, you listen to that class, you're in that WhatsApp group, you're doing all they're all beautiful, they're wonderful, they're important, they're critical. Don't stop doing them. Do more. But if it's not yet, if it's not preceded, if it's not introduced, if it's not built on the foundation first of oh yeah, you're the one. I forgot you created the world. You exist. You love me. You're intimately aware of everything in my life. You're involved and influence all the outcomes in my life. And that's why I'm talking to you. That comes first. underlying at the core the foundation of all mitzvah is faith. You know what? Bar Cooperstein was hopping and bopping and dancing on someone's shoulders then standing on the chair. He was singing. If anyone can sing that, it's him. 738 days he lived it. He described when he first underground what was me and why am I here? He he used his mother's amuna as a hot spot and he felt Hashem is with me. He talked about Hashem is with me in the tunnel. He's with me in captivity. And there's a reason that I'm here. If you believe in every day, if you believe that Hashem restores all of existence every day, every day I'm born a new. Every day is a new me. It's a new world. It's a new possibility. It's new chance. The whole existence is renewed. Contract is extended fresh and we have to give praise and thanks to the creator of it all. Hashem has given me the privilege and the opportunity to be here. I woke up today. How many people didn't? Thank you, Hashem. I woke up and it's a beautiful day outside and it's a beautiful pregnant with possibility. It's a future day. Who knows what today will be? And I'll repeat what I said last week because apparently it had a very positive impact on the person who needed to hear it. Who knows if the next phone call is not to be to introduce you to the person you're going to marry? Who knows if the next pregnancy test is not the one that's going to come out positive? Who knows if the next meeting with your boss is not to give you that raise that's going to enable you to put the food on the table with? Who knows? Every day is new possibility. Never give up hope. Our story is never done. We're writing the next chapter because is renewing the world and our life every day. Who knows of the next judgment from the judge? Who knows of the next petition to the court? Who knows of the next Who knows? Who knows of the next lottery ticket? $1.7 billion dollars tonight. Powerball. Hashem, I have such good things I could do with it. Such amazing things. He keeps saying no. But it's a new day and it's a new lottery and a new Powerball. And who knows if today is the day you got to be in it to win it because if you think no he created the world 5786 years ago he set it in motion and that's it. Things are just now happening the way they're meant to happen. Now we're just victims of data, statistics, chance, randomness. Why? Davin can't change outcomes. Not going to influence what happens next because we're just on Hashem pressed go 5,786 years ago. He pressed start and now we're just in motion. So why bother domining? You can't change anything. But that's not what we believe. He pressed go then and every day begins with his pressing go again. Every day is new. Every day is renewal. Every day is fresh. If you think he just pressed go then and started a world and put it in motion, then why bother dinging or trying to change an outcome? But when you wake up and you realize every day, turn the page, it's a new day. That's one of the swag we created once. I think we still have more. We made a note notebooks. Anyone here get those notebooks on top. There you go. You're holding up one. What did it say? Modi. Thank you, Hashem, for a new day. Turn the page. It was a notebook because every day turn the page. Ah, yesterday you filled it out with negative pregnancy test, misery, this person wronged me, sat in traffic, Newark airport. That was yesterday. Turn the page because you know what the next page is? It's blank. It's fresh. It's clean. It's filled with opportunity. Who knows what's going to get written in it? Who knows? That's our davining. Our davining is writing the next page. Writing that next page. So mitem should share news of simas with one another. Write that next page together and fill it only with the most positive. We're not going to do questions and answers. I have a bris I have to run to. Wishing everyone a happy, a healthy, a holy, fantastic day.