Survivor Support: Validate Her Healing, Not Abuse #shorts

The question starts off with what do I do if there's going to be a family simcha and the abuser is going to be there? Yeah. What do I do with my child who is the victim? Child's been in therapy for 7 years, nothing helps. In the last 7 years that you knew about this, was there ever any family function that occurred that because the abuser was at, she couldn't go? She said, "Of course." I said, "So, you did nothing for 7 years?" But, how could your heal if every time they turn around, the abuser is validated over the victim? So, you are telling her you believe her, but there's no chance to heal. Well, there's going to be a simcha and the chasan are coming up and and my parents are coming in and my parents I I have to I said, "You don't go to any simcha that your daughter won't go to." You're talking about support, the real support, the >> support, the validation. If she can't go, and this is a fact that this was happening and you were validated, you don't go. >> This girl, how is she ever going to heal? What you're saying is that by them going to the to the event, um this girl doesn't feel validated. >> She's saying it, but that's not what she's thinking. It's not what she's feeling. Wow. You want to hear that it's okay, so go. >> Yeah. Wow. So, that's that's the weirdness. What would you want that any survivor that's listening to this should hear? So, my message to survivors and I I I I speak about this freely is while I I speak very harshly, but the fact is we are light years ahead of where we were. We are. We have light years to go, but we are light years ahead. As a community, we are resilient. We believe you. We want to make sure that you can not live, not survive, thrive. The abuse does not define you. You know, people say to me, "Will I ever get cured from the abuse?" I hear this all the time. I can't magically make it disappear. If a person has a major surgery, they lose a limb, right? They're learning to live without the limb. But will they be able to figure it out? Yes. The point is if somebody is looking for like the healing miracle and this is It doesn't happen, but that doesn't have to define you. >> [snorts] >> And you're better than that, you're bigger than that, you're stronger than that, and you know what? The fact that any survivor is even willing to listen to this already shows that they're strong.