Thank You for the Tension | Torah Ohr Noach Mayim Rabim#4

Okay. A good morgen eaten, a good out of Shabbos, a good Shabbos, a good chodesh. A good gebentshte yahr, a gesunte vinter. A healthy winter to everybody. So yesterday was a very important sheer. I think in the Baal HaTanya explaining why it is and how it is that our tov, our goodness, we discover through our angel of life. But our me'od, our infinity, our ein sof, our bechol me'odecha, we discover in our encounter and confrontation with our lowest angel, angel of death, angel which seems to want to undermine everything that is that is alive and vibrant in us. Which is why the Medrash says vi'ahavta es Hashem Elokecha b'chol sh'rasecha u'vinei tov, tov zeh malach chayim, and tov me'od, me'od zeh malach hamaves. It's not the same tov. Yes, I am in a kosher. The light that's born from from the darkness. There's always a struggle with this because if the darkness would say this, it wouldn't be dark. In other words, if the darkness would learn this my mirror right? He would actually be your best friend. Like me? Now, the truth is that the darkness knows this my mirror cuz he's talking about it. But you have to know that your darkness knows the my mirror. That's a little hard. To be able to see it, to see our darkness, our inner Malachim oids, so to speak not as dark essentially and not as evil and monstrous, but essentially as the my oid. It's the beginning of my oid. And the word my oid is extremely relevant here because the my oid as he says, my oid is not a definition. My oid means whatever definition you have, it's something beyond that. Right? That's my oid. My oid means very. What's very? Whatever there is more. Very very much. Very very very. So, you're loving a sham with your very ness. There's no such a word in English. Love a sham with your very ness. V E R, I don't know why hyphen N E S S. Even Webster who's been recently making up words this word you won't find. Maybe if the sheer goes around enough, they'll include it in the dictionary. What does it mean? Love a sham with your very with your very ness. And and the point is that that's exactly what the Nikuda of my oid means. Bleegval means if something looks a certain way, it's a finite reality. Finite means something I can measure, I can taste, I can see. It's structured. It's finite. This table is finite. Right? The earth is pretty big, but it's finite. Finite means it has properties, it has measurements that can be defined, they can be controlled, they can be manipulated, they can be owned. You can wrap your hands around them, or at least you could wrap your brains around them. I can't wrap my hands around the planet Earth. I can wrap my hands around a tree and hug a tree, but on some level my brain can wrap itself around certain realities, at least a certain level of it. Blickvool is that which is always it's always beyond that. If I could define it, if I could pinpoint it, "Oh, this is what it is." It's not blickvool. How do you touch that in your life? I never touch that through my toyiv. I reach that through my toyiv ma'oid. And that I can't touch through my malach achayim. That I touch through that which seems the exact opposite in terms of what it looks like. It looks like the exact opposite. And yet really the reason it looks like the exact opposite is because it comes from a much more infinite and deeper place. As I as he put it, it's from the shvira, from the from the breakdown of olam atzilut. Which is really comes even from a deeper place than the nefesh elokus. And when I encounter that, I'm encountering a paradox. On one hand, it seems like such intense darkness, such intense choshech. Such a negative reality, a malach hamoves, you just want to run away from it. But on a deeper level, this is really a manifestation of something that's infinite, infinitely good. But it's it's so infinite that it doesn't have the finite structure of goodness. It doesn't even look that way. And you have to be able to have the courage and the resilience and the wisdom not to be afraid, but on the contrary, to realize that this allows your sublimation, your aliya. He says the neshama goes from ziv hashchina to atzmus, from the radiance of the shchina to something even deeper. You have for sure achas betzuvah um sometimes. So now let's continue inside. And as he put it in the last line of the first paragraph of the maamar, ideah skafya nasa tchiya samecha. The resurrection of the dead. Malach hamavess is death. The resurrection of the dead, spiritual, emotional death. So what seems like emotional death, that's what shviras hakelim is. Shviras hakelim is Shviras hakelim is a term of kabbalah. It means breaking of the vessels. It's a very famous term in the writings of the Arizal. Anybody who's even a little familiar with kisvei Arizal and any sforim that are connected to kisvei Arizal, shviras hakelim is a very big sugya. It's what happened pre-creation, the breaking of the vessels. In in chassidus, especially by the Baal Hatanya, the whole idea of shviras hakelim is a very a very personal element in avodah. In avodas Hashem, there's shviras hakelim. Every breakdown in life is essentially a form of shviras hakelim. The keli is structure. Shviras hakelim means the structure is gone. Whatever that looks like. It could be in your family, it could be in your marriage, it could be in yourself. And any any way keli is safety, you know? Keli is boundaries. A breakdown of boundaries, a breakdown of safety, a breakdown of structure, which can create the greatest forms of trauma. The brain also has kelim. When that breaks down, that's called shviras hakelim. That shviras hakelim holds those broken Sakhalin holding them the sparks and the lights of infinity of to you that couldn't be contained in these Sakhalin. So these in the in the in these broken Sakhalin you have access to that which seems like a Malachi Mavis it went through a near death or emotional death experience. And when I can actually see that and with compassion hold its hand and say what happened to you? What happened to you? Come. Let's find out your true story. You literally created some ice. You can almost feel it. If you do this work, you can almost feel dead parts saying thank you for giving me life. Now he continues the next paragraph. This was just a summation of yesterday's sheer. If you didn't hear it, it's good I to hear it because it's a very fundamental idea in life. The Zahav my mirror Zahav, so now we come back. You see where this page 17 the second paragraph test column one of Zahav my mirror Zahav. Zahav my mirror Zahav this is what it says in PKA office your first shot is between my son table and my son table and my son table. One hour one moment of chuva and my son table in this world is your first it's more beautiful it's it's greater than the whole life of my son table. Can this killer and the question is how can you say that? So you already said in the previous column on the first column dollar the answer is because you used to know my son table because in the my son table there's something called chuva. That's why it says but chuva. Why doesn't show my some show mitzvahs, show Torah? Why chuva? Cuz that's the quick That's the key. It's not of good things we do in cuz in there's chuva. And chuva is always confrontation with with the darker part. That's what chuva is. Chuva is I'm returning. I'm returning from somewhere. I was lost. I got lost somewhere. I got stuck somewhere. In there's clarity. There's and there's a lot of it. In there's no blockages. In there's a lot there's a lot of blockages. That's why he explained there's the concept of Gehenna. Gehenna is not just a punishment. It's a lot Gehenna is a process of removing blockages to be able to experience your own to be able to experience it. I cannot experience real pleasure in life if I'm blocked. We all know that. You could be There's people at the happiest moments, you know, sometimes a person marries off a daughter or a child. And it it's really an amazing thing cuz it's the future of generations. But there's a blockage and in those moments, you know, and it happens often. It happens often in the height of what you would think is a tremendous moment of ecstasy. All your insecurities also pop up cuz everything is focused. It's really a It's It's really a funny thing. A person once told me that uh sometimes at a wedding, you know, the guests are more happy than the than the people that you would think would be happy. I said, "Why? Cuz they have to pay the bills afterwards." He says, "Not that. There's sometimes a lot of deeper stuff that come up." And it's really it's it's very sad. Because uh you know, that's why we maybe break the glass under the hook, just realized. Sometimes at the height of uh of joy also comes the height of everything else and it blocks it. So, I have to I have to really go through a cleansing to be able to sit and bask in the Ziv Hashchina. That's what Gan Eden is. It's not a world of blockages. But, it's the radiance of the Shchina. In this world you have chuva. What's chuva? Chuva is that I have blockages. That there are blockages. That things are not as they seem. That there is a malach hamavet. That there is choshech. And he said, "And from that comes the yisurim or arayot of the Shchina achas bechuva and maasim tovim." Because also the maasim tovim in this world are different maasim tovim. They're different good deeds. Because they're informed by the process of chuva. As he put it earlier, the thirst, the the the creativity that comes. The yearning, the yearning that comes from the opposite. It's always much deeper. It's same as nafshi same as basari. And the fact that you're dealing with the shviras hakelim. With the with with with blikul. U'l'zeh nikra mayim rabim al mayim nayach. So, now he comes back to the beginning of the mayamar. That's why the mayim rabim. What are the mayim rabim? The raging waters. Which raging waters? The flash floods of tension. Of anxiety that flood a person's mind and flood a person's life. That's why they're called paradoxically mayim nayach. In this week's haftorah tomorrow, Shabbos. The navi Yeshayahu, I think it's perek nun dalet, calls the flood mayim nayach, the waters of Nayach. It's not fear. They weren't his waters. He wasn't responsible for the water. On the contrary, he's the one who saved humanity from the water. So, the Baal Hatanya said, "Mayim nayach is why?" Because the marble didn't just come to punish the marble came as a mikvah a cosmic mikvah you remember that was the first year we learned it on Monday the first year of the myman the marble came as a mikvah mem sa off 40 sa mem yom 40 days so if the marble came as a cleansing process so he says the marble created may noach the waters of noach noach from the word serenity and menucha vayishbos bayom hashvi'i we say tonight in kiddush vayishbos bayom hashvi'i the targum onkelos says venoch bayom hashvi'i the word vayishbos is venoch noach noach is menucha zeh yenachameinu he was named noach because zeh yenachameinu me'itzvon me'etzvon yadenu from the sadness from the difficulties of our hands so how could that be how can raging waters how can a flood create may noach and that was the toichen of the mymer that the marble came to create menucha and the shibud parnasa of avraham avinu chose it instead of gehennom hashem gave him a choice gehennom or shibud malchiyos or galus and avraham chose for his children not gehennom but galus so it's not just that he chose a punishment in this world rather than next world that's how most people learn but the Tanya says no just like gehennom is the beginning of gan eden so shibud is the beginning of real avoda and that's why he explained the whole concept of chuva and oilam hazeh that was the whole emshech so now he finishes so now we understand why the marble the mayim rabim which in spiritually emotionally speaking that's the shibud the the subjugation and the stress and the tension and the anxiety is called may noach lefich nasa al yadam naichas deruch because they create a different level of serenity so you'll say really lo meduvshach velo meyuktach don't give me your honey and don't give me your sting I don't need your serenity How is it that they create a serenity? Where is Where do they create a serenity? They create problems. Shana may have tables not yet. Fascinating words. From them, from these waters, the table of Noah is made. The ark of Noah is made. What does this mean? Show who can I stay with that feeling? The word table This comes from the word table means an ark. The boat that Noah built but the word table actually means a word. Like you say Russia tables. The beginning of a word of words. Unless you can say when you want to say a word, you say table is a word. Table is our words. So he says what's the table? The table is at the filler. It's the words of the oven egg. That's the table. Come on and it says in Noah by after the whole base color table. I shall tell Noah you and your whole household bring into the table. So the Tanya says what does that mean? There's a flood. There's a flood. There's a raging flood. What does that look like? It looks like there's tension in me. There's anxiety in me. There's discontentment in me. And it's a flood. So he says but there's a table. The table are the words. Table is at the filler. The words of the oven egg. Go in and bring everybody in. For whole base come means all your bring in all your faculties. Bring your full presence into the relationship of the filler of the oven egg. The zoo and this is the meaning of the music. By a Maya my aid. The water comes down for 40 days and 40 nights. But it's not just rain. This is a tsunami. This is a torrent. This is powerful. It's ferocious. By a Maya my aid. The waters were raging. They were ever increasing. They were powerful from the word giver strong. Come on and say I am a mile and a mile and a giver of a Maya my aid. But It says that the tallest of the mountains was submerged in the water to the point that the water reached 15 15 cubits above the tallest mountain. 15 would be approximately 30 ft. Or a little less depends how you measure an foot and a half or 2 ft. So imagine the size. You're talking about the tallest mountain. The water is so so overwhelming. It's the flood is so powerful that even the tallest mountain is flooded by the water. What does this mean? So listen what he says. He says sometimes you know you can have a flood in your life and sometimes you can have a massive flood. We all know in the houses when there's a flood you know. Sometimes there's a little flood. So you take a map and you clean it up but sometimes you know you ever had a flood in your basement? That's a marble. So he says this is sometimes in life there's a flood with the animal consciousness. Has this flash flood. It overpowers and becomes so strong and it overpowers the but in your life. It could be in the livelihood. A person becomes so stressed and overwhelmed that you don't recognize yourself anymore. Or in your life means any aspect of life. This could be any aspect of a person trying to live from their own personal life to their relationships to their livelihood to whatever is going on. He says a person feels one clap and another clap and another flood and another flood to the point you want you want to have your head above but the water is always higher and higher and and even if you think you come on top, the water is higher. That's what he's describing. What what happens at such a moment? So, it goes without saying that as Jews, we like to blame ourselves. Right? You say uh What's left to I want to make a fishman on the fish. What did I do? I'm laughing cuz it's a very Jewish thing to do. Right? But the Bal Tanya doesn't say that. Not because a person shouldn't improve themselves. Cuz you're dealing with such intensity that it's it's extremely intense and a person has to be able to to to to feel to be able to acknowledge how painful it is. The worst thing that can happen in the flood is to say there's no flood. There's no flood. Everything is good. How you doing? It's perfect. It's perfect. It's like a house is flooding. There's no flood here. So, it's a dangerous. You have to know there's a flood. And and and when there is such a flood, the person has to be able to obviously you do whatever you can to do. But he says the real could be here is that with tremendous empathy, the person now has to understand something. And I guess the word is not understand, but just open themselves up to the fact that in the breakdown of everything, in the disintegration of everything, in a world that's consumed by water, something new is being opened up, which I will not understand. In other words, if I could wrap my brain around it, it's not a flood. A flood means I'm overwhelmed by it. If I can If I can control the narrative, if I could say, "Ah, you know what? People love explanations why." I went to a Shiva house uh not long ago, big tragedy. Somebody was saying, "They want explanations." That's going to make you feel good, yeah? Why? Answer is, if I can explain it, it almost feels like I could control it. There's a sequence, so I could figure it out. I remember a few years ago Ilan Ramon went to outer space. For the little safe for Toda. You remember? From Israel. It exploded over Palestine, Texas. Have you heard of a city Palestine, Texas? From all cities in the world it had to explode over Palestine, Texas. So, I was in Shul that Shabbaton in Boca that week. So, somebody comes over to me and tells me the news. I guess he read it in the Whatever it was, Shabbos. And he looks at me and he says, "Of course it was Shabbos." What was the question? It was Shabbos. And I said, "That makes you comfortable, right?" "Cuz I keep Shabbos. I'm not going to explode in a spaceship." I said, "You know that 70 years ago there was 6 million Jews and 3 million of them kept Shabbos. You know that, right?" Why Why do people do it? Why do I have to do it? Maybe I don't know. You don't Maybe you don't know what happened to you. Well, I want to feel safe. If I'm safe, I'm good. The main thing is I want to control life. The marble doesn't allow me to do that. I have to touch something that's infinite inside of me. What What does it mean bleak will? What does bleak will mean emotionally? Biegel will means I have to let myself go. I have to let it go. I have to open myself up to a reality that transcends everything I'm familiar with including every last conception of self. Cuz anything I'm holding on to is already defined by my brain by my analytic by my analytics which we love doing and if you're dealing with mathematics or you're an accountant you have to do that. Analyzing is very good. It's a wonderful thing to analyze but not when you're in a flood. Cuz this is actually a gateway to something that I can't wrap my brain around. That's why it's flooding me. So can I just open myself up to the fact that I don't know? But not with fear with courage. With commitment with curiosity. And with pain and with a lot of pain. It's a very painful to go from gvul to biegel will. You know stretching is painful anybody here stretches? Stretches is pain stretching is painful and that's in the finite world. Imagine the stretch the exercise when your personal trainer says we're going from the finite to the infinite. That's a stretch. It's going to hurt. Don't expect it hurts. And you could say ow wow that hurts that hurts. On the contrary because it's such a stretch it hurts more. It hurts more because it's such a stretch. And when you're experiencing that resistance to the pain so what do I want to do? I want to go back into the gvul. I want to go back into the comfort zone but I'm being flooded. It's being that's not that's not working anymore. If I can give some part some type of explanation I can control it so it's not a flood anymore. But then first of all I'm lying to myself it's going to come back to haunt me and second of all I'm depriving myself from the gift of toiv and aid. So the balatanya says you're with me everybody's with me. I can't explain it. You have to experience it. I mean, I'm trying to explain it, but it's Huh? Depriving. What? Was? Huh? Tchiyah Meisim. That's what Tchiyah Meisim is. What looks dead becomes alive. What I was saying is, besides the fact that I'm lying to myself, I'm like, oh, I can make sense of this. It's going to work. Oh. And that's I'm denying reality. I'm like, oh, my house is not flooded. My marriage is perfect. Me and my kids, it's Gan Eden Mamash. Gan Eden, Gan Eden. Gan Eden. I'm wonderful. I'm not coming I'm not saying from a place of of Rabbi Akiva. I'm saying when I'm in a place of denial. So first of all, whenever you're fighting reality, it comes back to bite you. Cuz it's real Emes is Emes. But there's there's something else. I'm also depriving myself. Lito Etz Chaim. I'm I'm taking I'm taking I'm depriving, which means I'm robbing myself from a gift. There's a gift here. My personal trainer, the Ribono shel Olam, is stretching me. And it's a very intense stretch. And I'm like I'm like so uptight. Cuz I want to control the stretch, but that's not a stretch. It's not opening me up to Toiv u'Marid. But one has to appreciate the pain here. There's a tension here. It's not that there's no tension. There's a flood. He says the Nefesh ha'Bahamis overpowers the Nefesh ha'Sichlis to the point that it's 15 Amos above my head. It's not just in water. It's 15 hours submerged in the water, even if I'm a mountain. And if I'm a plane and if I'm and if I'm a valley, I'm a good day. But through this water, through this water always light that comes from darkness is a different type of light. It's a different quality of light. The Zoa, now he says this. I'm waiting to What happened with the table? No, you had a table. You had the What's a table words? Well, something says table is words. So, you have a table that's flowing very nice. What happens with the marble? The water is so intense. The flooding is so powerful. It says what table my table. The table was elevated from the word laharim, truma, right? To pick up. The table was lifted up all the way to the top. To the point that the table went all the way to the top cuz it was the boat that was floating. So, the table I'll play on mine. The table doesn't go inside of table doesn't drown. The table goes on top of the water, but not just on top. It gets lifted up through the water. The table was much much higher because the water was so high. So, as the water goes 15 hours above from the mountain, the table goes with it. Through the water, the table goes higher. Rashi does say that the table was submerged 11 hours into the water. Right? But the table was was 30 hours high, so much of it was still out of the water. 11 hours Actually, makes a when when it landed on the mountain you design seven. He makes a and it works very interesting Rashi. Proving how the table was submerged 11 hours in the the Let me say that there's a break the analysis that there it's not a clean elevation? There's always some slime that remains according to what Rashi says. Very good. Beautiful. That's beautiful. That That's I I I think that I'm I'm I'm bringing it up to illustrate the point that this is a serious flood. It's not like a It's not like I'm just above the water, you know, sometimes I'm just glossing over, huh? I'm sloshing. I'm inside. I'm not detached. Sometimes you think you're detached He's not talking about a detached aloo. Things don't get to you. That's not what we're talking about. The teivah was in the water. And because of that, it was uplifted through the water. If the ark was just somewhere, you know, on the on on a planet aloof, it wouldn't be uplifted through the water. It went into the water. In other words, it confronts the water. And then it allows the water to pick it up. So, the Baal HaTanya says that the tefillah the teivah, the words of tefillah the words of Torah, but specifically he's talking about the davening, the relationship. From the mabul, it's a different type of word. It's a different type of teivah. Then he says something in the maamar. Very very rare for the Baal HaTanya to speak this way, but you can see that he's speaking to people. This is a maamar to people. He says, "V'zeh to'us baalei asakim." This is a very rare expression in the in the maamarim. "V'zeh to'us baalei asakim." This is the mistake of everybody who's in business. Baalei asakim in his days there was no online businesses. You sat in your basement and you and you did zooms zooms with your with your with your clients, with your with your sales. A baal eisek, it's a world. The baal eisek is a world. The one who's immersed in the in the tumultuous vicissitudes of olam hazeh with all of the stress. So, he says they make a mistake. What's the mistake? "She day they believe she ain't going to follow come out of your show home. They can't govern. Like your show like to me the home. People who dwell in the tents of torrent feel all day. They can govern. Why? Cuz their lives generally were much more serene and tranquil and completely focused on spirituality. Turn and feel it. So, they can govern. But, the ballistics has so much going on. He can't govern the same way. That's the mistake. Key added up. Not with the opposite. She ain't going to follow me or you they can govern much more. Because the greatest air comes from the air. He's really describing what governing is. We do we understand what is governing? Governing is and it's certainly true to a certain degree. Governing is I'm I'm stress-free. I'm I'm blissful. I go into a place of silent meditation or mindfulness or cover. And you just soar away with those words. That's the In a broader sense, that's what a good relationship is. There's no tumultuousness here. There's nothing pulling me in a thousand different directions. So, they say I can't govern. You have to know what's in my head. You know what's happening in my life. I can't govern. It's you have to understand my brain is not capable for this. I'll do it. I'll go through it, but it's not a real governing. That's the mistake. Obviously, they told us to the ball of Tanya or he felt it in them. So, he said it's a mistake. They can govern much more. They can govern much better. Because the flood makes the table. The flood makes the table. If there's a big marble a now that told me my table the Mayan is what makes the table. Bring your attention into the relationship. Bring your anxiety into the davening. Don't take Don't separate it. Your relationship with God Your relationship with Hashem, your relationship with yourself is not detached from your anxiety. It's not detached from your insecurities. It's not detached from your traumas, fears, wounds. It's not detached from the tensions in your life. Don't detach it and say, "Oh, I can't." That is your davening. That's is the davening. You understand what he's saying. That's is the That's the table. He said, "From the marble becomes the table. The marble makes the table." Now, you couldn't You wouldn't have built a table without That makes the That makes the table. And he says, "And if the greatest light is the light that comes from darkness, so then their davening is much deeper." Now, obviously, he's not talking Yeshiva alum and baal eisek with this absolute mechitza between them, the one who learns and the one who makes a living. It's a model. We know people could learn all day and have a lot of anxiety. I just want you to Yeshiva alum is a model of somebody who's just in a in a very innocent place. And a baal eisek is somebody who confronts things that are difficult. So, traditionally, it's called Yeshiva alum, somebody who's, you know, doesn't have to deal with tirdas haparnasa. And remember, this is He's talking about in a little shtetl where the standards were bechlal very different. And if you had an apart If you had a house that was more than one bedroom, it was a chiddush. And the Gemara says that the definition of wealth is that you have a beis akisa near your table. You don't have to go outside of the city, so you're a wealthy man. A beis akisa samuch lashulchan. Which means today, the biggest schnodder is a bigger usher than most people when this maamar was said. This is This is just before the Industrial Revolution, so there's no running water in your house, either. I just want you to understand when he's talking about a baal eisek and a Yeshiva alum. Right? The baal eisek also was nishtaze. But it's the model of somebody if I care to had to deal The stress of parnasa was overwhelming in these places. You have to understand. We don't even understand what it means. People struggle with parnossa, tuition, and mortgage, but they don't understand in Russia in the early 1800s, 1807, the struggles of parnossa. It's not You understand? To have bread on the table was a chiddush. It's not These are not uh I'm just explaining to you. So, when he says about Isaac, it wasn't He keep Somebody asked you, "Why is he talking about parnossa?" He said the main tension is psychological. I said, "That's today." Then, it was about survival. He said, "Today, we all have extra hours in the day in which we can get upset at our mothers." You understand? Cuz laundry is done fast. Huh? By your mother. By your mother. Whatever it is. Kol chada from shuda delay. The tirdus then were push it survival. It was very It's survival. But But But But it's a tirda. It's a real tirda. It's how you approach it. So, the maila So, he says, "The mistake is they can't daven. I can't have a taiva." He says, "Forget the maba makes the taiva, and the maba picks up the taiva, and it's a completely higher taiva." What What What is the Bala Tanya saying here? Bala Tanya is saying is don't go into davening without all the parts of your life. And this is a very profound idea because we want to go and let's take on a relationship. I'm going out with you. I'm going out with a friend, or you're going out with your spouse, whatever. You're You're taking a walk together. What do you talk about? You want to talk about the good stuff, no? Now, what if your filled Your head is filled with with meshugasen? So, it It destroyed It destroyed the meeting. It destroyed the meeting. I can't be here. That's what they told them. We can't be here. The Bala Tanya says, "You don't understand what the happening is." You thought it's a fake relationship. That's exactly what you bring into the relationship. That's what makes it powerful. That's exactly what you want to bring in. I'm not going to sit with you and tell you how everything is is perfect. Oh, then I can't govern it's a fake govern. For a carrot, you could govern much more. Cuz you're bringing up everything. You're bringing up your dark you bring bringing your darkness into it. And then you have you shouldn't know. And that's going to give you access if you really bring it in. It gives you access to the ultimate darkness which is your ultimate light. Why? Oh. Right. Right. Right. Yeah. Now, we have to acknowledge that this is hard because literally if I get up to govern and there's a lot of tension in me and anxiety, it takes me away. It pulls me away from the religion. How you do Kaddish my no no there's no there's no there's no Kaddish my. Let me tell you about all my appointments. Let me tell you about my bills. Let me tell you about what's going on here. Let me tell you about what's going on there. I'm a clown now in the mood. I'm bored. I'm exhausted. I'm overwhelmed, right? You know, let me check here the next somebody sent me an email. Okay, there's something to do. You don't relate to him, do you? So now I'm at CSN and I love I was a little bit soggy. Somebody once came to the of Lublin and he said I have hours during governing. So he said so I said no no no no no no. Those are my shoulders. You're governing is a my shoulders. Haha. Yeah, what he said. You're governing is a my shoulders. You you my shoulders are normal. You just continue. What was he trying to tell him? He was trying to tell him you need a paradigm shift. Your whole out you're governing is a my It's disturbing you. That's the challenge. There has to be a lot of trust in a marriage, right? When you're talking to your spouse, do you talk about your do you talk about your If you're overwhelmed with insecurities, it took away from the conversation. It was so not enjoyable. Unless the relationship is truly honest. And then wow, it was the most meaningful conversation. I got it off my chest, right? Those are the most meaningful conversation. Those are the conversations that create growth. The conversations that create growth are the conversations when I can talk about my So so he says don't undermine your This is the real That's the Tava. That's the Tava. The real Tava comes from the Bible. The highest Tavas come from the Bible. As long as you can bring it into the conversation. Really bring it into the conversation. But for that, there has to be a lot a lot of trust. You have to trust Hashem. We have to be able Can I really bring that all in? Can I bring all Can I bring in my office? And it's not going to let. Cuz the tension I told you the tension doesn't say this. If it says this, it wouldn't be such tension. It's not going to It's going to pull you away. But that's why you have a to say come. Let's do a little come with me. Let's see what you really want. And you'll see that's amazing. What about saying here? Is it the same idea like me Makhim. Yeah, in that sense that's the mimar makhim. Mimar makhim has a sham is I can bring in my full depth to it, my full honesty to it. So, you're saying you have more time to dive in the issue here? I don't think he's talking about time here. They said, "We're busy, we're overwhelmed, mainly we're stressed. So, we have How can we daven?" Davening, you need menuchas hanefesh. Yeah, you ever saw the Mishnah in Berachot, right? You know the Mishnah of the Rishonim or you shayin shaa achas, right? They davened for 9 hours a day. They meditated an hour. People think meditation is not from Judaism, but there's a Mishnah in Berachot that before every Shemoneh Esrei, they meditated for an hour before and an hour after. What did that look like? What did the shuls look like? The Rishonim, 9 hours a day. Shacharis needed a meditation an hour before and an hour after. Mincha meditation be an hour before and Maariv also meditation. So, besides davening for 3 hours, and by the way, Shemoneh Esrei taking an hour means that every word every word of Shemoneh Esrei, I believe is 9 seconds. Try that. By Magen Avraham, it'll already be already be after Mincha. Okay, but that's davening itself. But now there's an hour before and an hour after. I heard somebody giving a shiur and he said, "It means they were learning an hour before and a learning after." And I was wow, he missed the point. Cuz he couldn't wrap his brain around the the concept of meditation in Judaism. So, he says they were learning They learned Gemara an hour before and an hour after. It says the Rishonim how you shayin. You know what shayin means? Shayin means you're in one space and you looks like you're doing nothing. In Yiddish, shayin is fazam. You just uh But I show them I say, "Open up a Shulchan Aruch Orach Chaim Siman Samech Ches and see how the Mechaber of Shulchan Aruch understood what they did." He says, "How you magi'im kariv leshpashut hagashmi'us, kariv lema'alah min hagashmi'us." That's what he writes there. It was almost a state of prophecy. Now, you have to understand what all this means, but in other words, there was an experience of oneness with the universe and with Hashem that allowed them their brains to become conduits for a divine energy. It's a very deep experience. My point here is, so naturally you think serenity is the main thing for this. So, the Yosheva Yael say, we could dive in the ballet can dive in. I have an appointment in a half an hour. It's not just in a half an hour, it's now. Now I already have the appointment cuz it's overwhelming. Now he has an appointment. What's so funny? And now he's going to dive in and have an appointment. Of course. He's talking about diving at this moment when the flower is in Yeah. So, the altar never was comforting the ballet Isaac. This is the famous ballet Tanya comforting the ballet Isaac and saying for carrot you could dive in much better. Maybe not much longer, but much better. Does Does that mean that that they have to do something different or No, they're The answer which is all volume is that is the thing. Right, but if you can really incorporate this, it's not going to be so also flagan. It maybe will begin also flagan, but if I can gently Having this in mind, then it changes the answer. Yeah. It's not just having this in mind, it's it's it's learning how to experience it. It's not just a machshava. Is it possible to do both? Uh Is it possible to do both? I mean, time in the day. Physical time in the day is Okay, so that's every person, you know, according to, you know, that every person has to evaluate their schedule and their priorities and what's necessary. Is that saying that the ballet has 9 hours of diving? No, they don't have 9 hours. They're not the Marishonim. Who has 9 hours? Same that he's saying that they're they're 5-minutes it has the has the quality of something weird. Yeah. That's what he means. It's the quality. It's It's the quality of the relationship. Could have. Huh? Could have. It could, obviously. He says it's a though they make a mistake, they see themselves as this is not my world. the most in that. And he's saying no, this is this is more your world. Huh? This is more your world. So, that's the idea of Mayhem Mable becoming May Noach. What's Noach? Noach is serenity. But this is not serenity. This is the opposite of serenity. That's the chiddush. That when the neshama comes down into the mayim rabim it reaches a different type of serenity. It's not the regular serenity of olam haba, you're right. That's the that comes through the entanglement with the mayim rabim of the nefesh habahamis where you confront the olam hatoyeh that we spoke about in the previous shiur. And the blee gvul and the toev ma'od and the malach hamoves and the teivos elevated because it's a different type of menucha. The menucha that comes after that is a menucha that's born from the confrontation with darkness which gives a different type of serenity. It's a very mature type of serenity. It's a serenity that's not detached. It's a serenity that doesn't disregard all of the pressures of life. It's a serenity that incorporates it. So, it's a different type of serenity. There's serenity where I you know I distractions. We all have distractions. Why do people binge or people drink or people go onto their screens? Cuz they want a little menucha, right? Everybody wants menucha. You just want to get your mind off problems. And we have a lot of distractions for that. That's not the That doesn't come from the mabul. That's a distraction. This is a different type of menucha. This is a menucha that's born from the mabul, May Noach. The mabul makes the menucha. How can a mabul make a menucha? Because it's serenity serenity that's born from my engagement and my working with the angels inside of me that are the cause of the anxiety. Accessing what their true true true spiritual meaning and core is. What are you thinking that my shoes off? You could say it as is no filters. The anxiety The difference is if the anxiety is the the emotional talking to the spouse. That that's not I don't think that's what it that's what it means. You're dealing with a husband or wife you don't want one to protect us talking to the protect us. You want the mean talking to you about my protect us. Right. I'm talking to the emotional from the anxiety. It's my anxiety talking to somebody else. She's talking about I talking about Right. That that that's the the nefesh like that. And I am being involved in Right. the dealing with the sickness. Right. It's scafia. It's scafia. Even in a scafia it's true. In other words, it's not my anxiety talking to your anxiety. If you if you let's say you between a husband and a wife, right? If his anxiety is talking to her anxiety so now his anxiety triggers her anxiety. So now her anxiety talks to his anxiety which triggers both of their anxieties. By the time the conversation is over they're both in purgatory emotionally. You understand? You want him talking to her about his anxiety and her talking to him about her anxiety. In other words, their core eye which is called the nefesh elokus can bring into the relationship the anxiety. As we take a walk or we enter in conversation, we can talk about everything that's dark, but not your darkness is talking. The you which is not dark. The teva is not the maba. The teva are the words of davening. But when I the maba is brought in, when the teva is is is connected to the maba, it's inside that maba, so then it becomes much more powerful cuz now my I connects to you, not just from a place of light, but also from a place of darkness. Now my connection to you is not superficial, it's deep, it's thorough. It's all pervasive. It includes even those parts that essentially would make us drift apart. That's also part of the relationship, and that's what makes the most powerful relationship. When you could bring in the weakest link into the connection, it becomes the most powerful. Like in halacha you have star she also love eero, becomes more powerful than a star that there was no eero. You have a star, right? And somebody denies it, then you bring it to best in and they they confirm it, it's a much more powerful star than an innocent star. Why? Because this star was about to be torn into shreds. And and and you built it, so it's a much more powerful star. If the relationship can can include everything that that drives us apart from each other, our anxieties, our fears, our traumas, if I could bring that in, now it's unbreakable. Yeshua no min a choshech. It's a whole different It's a whole different level of connection. It also touches parts that are different, that are much deeper, which is why it was so dark, like we learned yesterday, al lo matoyu. So in davening also, and that's probably one of the biggest challenges, to be able to step away from a conversation coming from my anxiety to a conversation coming from me. Cuz the anxiety is so intense, like my anxiety will take over the conversation, like And the anxiety speaks very not nice. It's It could be nasty, you know, when anxiety speaks. You ever hear it speak? You know what I mean? It's not going to say nice things cuz it's anxious. It's trying to survive. It's going to tell you how you are the source of all my problems. So, the real challenge is in davening also. Can I find that part that is deeper than the anxiety, which is always there? And then bring in the anxiety into the relationship. That's what you were saying. Depends. Depends who's davening and how you daven. The whole journey of davening is a relationship. It's an experience. It's not They didn't just Okay, let's put another You know, davening is too short. Let's put in another capital. Oh, it's still too short. That will really Oh, it's too short. Let's do you know, why not? Of course. Why not? It wasn't structured that way. I know sometimes it feels that way. A little more, you know. Huh? Not kaddish. Not kaddish. They say a joke. There was somebody who would say kaddish constantly. Constantly. So, somebody started to scream at him. He You're not supposed to say extra kaddish. He says, "That's a The guy says, "Yeah." He says, "Okay, you got to say kaddish." He said, So, I'm saying, you know, davening has a rhyme, has a rhythm. Yeah, I think. I think. I'll tell you what's hard. It says in Shulchan Aruch that before you start davening, you find atzmi mikol hamachshavos hamatridos v'hamvalbalos. You have to remove your brain from all confusing thoughts. And I know somebody's going to ask me a question, the Baal Hatanya here says, "Why?" Bring it all in. But he didn't You're not toifes what he's saying. If I'm just confused in my thoughts, my confusion is going to be davening. I'm not going to be davening. And that this is the hardest part. Do you have something that's deeper than your anxiety? This is all based on the premise that your soul is not anxious. Your soul is actually in a relationship with Ein Sof at every moment. I may not feel it because of my anxiety. I may not have access to it, but it's a very real reality. Talk again about a marriage. Is this marriage only about anxiety or there's a connection that's deeper than I know there's anxiety. I know there's challenges. I know you're making me feel You You You You cause me pain or hurt or anger, whatever it is. I make you feel that way. I know that. There's There's There's darkness. But is there something that you want to connect to that's deeper than the darkness? That many people right, don't know how do I even go there? Do I even have it? That's key. So when it says remove the machshavos hamvalbalos, it doesn't mean remove them in the sense that they don't exist. It means you first have to connect to a part that wants a real relationship. And I trust that there's something here. I know that I'm overwhelmed by a crazy flood. I got that. I'm not denying any of that. And now I want to bring that in to that connection, to that conversation. Because because if I don't have that core, so so so the relationship is just going to be it's going to be very negative. I'll scream at you and you'll scream at me. And and I'll tell you not nice things about you. You'll tell me not nice things about me and it's my anxiety, my depression, my my wounds, my fears, my insecurities talking. I get it and it's your fears and your insecurities. So your triggers are talking to my triggers and my triggers talking to your triggers and at some point I'm going to tell you, "Why don't your triggers give my triggers your telephone number and email and why don't they go to uh you know, the zoo and and have a good time with each other?" And you're going to be left orphaned. So that's a that's an important idea. On a practical level, might be as simple as the difference between saying "I don't trust you. You're a liar." on the one hand and on the other hand saying, "My anxiety is telling me not to trust you. My anxiety is not Beautiful. You just heard the marriage tip? You could say, "I don't trust you. You're a liar." Or my anxiety is saying not to trust you because my anxiety claims you're a liar. Now I have to say, if the other person is not working on themselves, it may not make a difference. But if the other person is working on themselves, it's going to make all the difference. And if the other person is going to eventually learn If the other person is Hashem, he's always working on himself. Cuz he's in a relationship with me. You got to work on yourself a whole time. In a shamoso, yeah, I could say I say you're you're this and this or this is what my anxiety is saying. And you don't have to be afraid of that. It could be that can also be scary, you know, to say my anxiety says this, I have to acknowledge that I have anxiety. I have to acknowledge that my anxiety is ugly. And I have to be able to describe it. That's that's a lot of courage. What if you get smacked in your face? A lot of times people never go here because it's very vulnerable. It's vulnerable for you and it's vulnerable for the other person. You know, it's pain Remember it's painful for the other person, too. I'm going to hear things that are hard for me. I have to be able to contain it. That's also hard. In a healthy relationship, the anxiety is a catalyst for growth. Yeah. Like the Frankl concept of logotherapy. You know, if if you don't use the opportunity if the Yeah, exactly. the opportunity whatever the opportunity was. Beautiful. Yeah. The anxiety is a catalyst for the deepest growth like the flood was a catalyst for the most elevated teva. Now, the word teva becomes so beautifully cuz teva means conversation, dialogue. All this happens in conversations. It happens in words. So, it's almost like he's analyzing a conversation. Teva is dialogue. Teva, conversations are made up through words. You have your teva. I have my teva. What's our conversation made up of? If you could look at a conversation between two people, you could see what's the conversation made up of. Does the conversation include the flood or not? If the conversation includes the flood, it becomes elevated by the flood, informed by the flood, enlightened by the flood, sublimated by it. But this is very mature. This is it takes a lot of maturity. If you try this at home today, right? Make sure you know what you're doing. Cuz if your anxiety is telling you to try it at home, right? If your anxiety is telling you to try it at home, so I could put her in her place, or put him in the his place, and finally say the truth, right? So the bazillion says, "Oy vey." In other words, when you're having a conversation on this level, it has to be done with a lot of sensitivity to differentiate between the Mayan rabbin and the nefesh between the nefesh of a hamas and the nefesh of a lukus. So now he says, "Let's Let's Let's go another few minutes. I want to finish the paragraph." And now we'll understand why Noach is defined as the shabbos. Essentially, this is what shabbos is. It says "Kivoi shabbos mikol malachto." As I told you, the Targum Unkulus says, the Mayamar said earlier, "Vayishbois" is "venach". "Venach beyom hashvi'i." So Noach is shabbos. In Medrish it says, Noach is Noach cuz "naiche derucha". "Naiche derucha" means the ruach is relaxed. It's "menuchas haruach". Like we say, "menuchas hanefesh". "Naiche derucha". What's the connection to Shabbos? The six days of creation, Sunday through Friday, what happens? Hashem's malchus, which means Hashem's creative energy. The word malchus means Hashem's creative energy. Cuz that's what malchus is. Malchus is leadership. Malchus is taking charge. Malchus is nobility. What's the job of a melech? The job of a melech is to really lead, to care for his country. So when you say Hashem's koach malchus, it means his creative energy that is responsible for all of existence. So during the six days of creation, Hashem's creative energy is actualized. That's what hamshacha l'matah means. I just want to explain these words cuz they're mystical, you shouldn't should understand them. Hamshacha l'matah means when an energy is actualized in a real way, that's called hamshacha l'matah. It comes out in a concrete way. L'matah means down. It doesn't remain in potentiality. Hashem always has creative energy before creation also. But creation is Hashem's creative energy comes out. How do I know it comes out? Here, look at me. Look at you. Right? You are God's energy concretized. That's called hamshacha l'matah. It's concretized. Planet Earth, the cosmos, that's called hamshacha l'matah. Come over here and I'll explain to you what I'm looking at here. First day is light. The second day, y'hi rakia, let there be a heaven separating the waters. The third day, tache ha'aretz deshe, vegetation and produce. Chuly, all the way. Wednesday is the sun and the moon, the galaxies, the planets. Thursday you start having the living organisms, right? The fish, the birds, the insects, the water creatures. You have the mammals, you have the fish, and then you have Adam. So he says shnei krain y'mei hamisah. They're called y'mei hamisah. Why are they called y'mei hamisah? Not only because we're allowed to work, because those are the the days when Hashem's creative energy came out in a universe, came out in ma'aseh, they came out in action. And so, that's why they're called y'mei ha'ma'aseh. Our life is a replica of the energy. This is a very powerful word. Y'mei ha'ma'aseh is not just a halacha, you're allowed to work, that's true. But the reason is cuz by Hashem it was y'mei ha'ma'aseh, it is y'mei ha'ma'aseh. It's days in which his creative energy, called malchus, is concretized in a universe. Shabbos u'chinus shvisan um'lacha. Shabbos we call rest, shvisah, vayishbos. V'nayichah d'ruchah. What happened on Shabbos? Shehu aliyah so olamos l'ma'alah k'adam mashiv es hanachah um'lacha. Shabbos is called in Kabbalah and Chassidus and Machshavah aliyah so olamos. The worlds go up like a person who relaxes from melacha. What does this mean, aliyah so olamos? If a person is exerting energy, let's say, I'm sweeping, I'm mopping, I'm writing, I'm running, I'm I'm whatever melacha you're involved in, whether it's, you know, labor with your hands, labor with your feet, labor with your mind, you're completely immersed in it. What happens afterwards? You finish and you relax, you're shvis. So, so to speak, your energy is now not being projected, you reclaim your energy. You reclaim your energy. There was a very big lecture, a speaker once told me that he he finished his lecturing, so it's projecting energy. It's a lot of energy, you come on. He says, I right away have to run into a private room and not see anybody for a few hours. Because you have to re you have to reclaim your energy. It's a very important idea. It's called boundaries. You understand? Cuz you're giving and giving and giving and everything is on the outside and then you become depleted at some point. You get cut off from yourself. So, Shabbos says you sit back. It's not just you physically relax. It's spiritually. Your energy now comes back. It's called aliya. When you're working, it's yerida. It's going outwards and now it comes back to you. Whatever you're involved in, a person is a writer and he's writing and writing for hours. His energy is outwards and now you need a moment that energy to come back into you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And it's an important thing because people don't recognize the importance of it. Right? You gave and gave and gave. Your energy was in a of yerida, hamshacha, actualization and now you need a we call replenish. So, what does it mean replenish yourself? Right? At some point you have to replenish yourself. You know, the car needs gas. You also need gas. You you you need to reclaim that energy. The Baal Shem Tov says this is what Shabbos is. Hashem six days a week the energy was being projected from the ein sof and concretized in a real world. What's the avodah of Shabbos? Remember rest? What does it mean he rests? He had to work hard. He has hands. He has feet. What? He doesn't have enough energy? Why did he have to rest? Is he going on vacation? He doesn't like The idea of rest is not the idea of rest, you know, oh I worked so hard and I'm going to kill myself and I want to retire. The idea of rest is it's also a briya. It's also a briya. And we have to understand what what it means. Rashi says it says byom hashishi he finished on the seventh day. So, Rashi says he didn't work on the seventh day. He finished the sixth day. So, Rashi, one of the psukim Yeah? That chazal it comes from the medrash that chaser menucha the world was missing something. The world was missing menucha. Ba'Shabbos ba'menucha. So, so why is that on the seventh day? Cuz on the seventh day there was also a creation. What was the creation? The creation of menucha. What what does that mean there was a creation of Manucha? The pshat is this is this is a very very powerful word. The kodesh is that Manucha is part of creation. Creation needs serenity. It's not this creation, you work and then there's something beautiful that's called Manucha. Hashem put into the fabric of existence that it needs Aliyah Salima Susa. It needs to be reclaimed by by the divine. That the energy has to go back to the source and because of that there's a yearning in the world for meaning. Without Shabbos there was no you would be no yearning for meaning. It's just a world good. Vayechal bayom hashvi, part of creation was that creation has a concept of what it looks like pre-creation. It has a concept of what the energy was, where it came from. It's called Aliyah Salimas. That's Shabbos. Shabbos the worlds go up. What do you mean the worlds go up? In all Kabbalah citizens Aliyah Salimas, right? But nobody knows what does it mean Aliyah Salimas? What happens? What happens? The worlds go up. What goes up? Roller coasters go up, gas stations go up, potatoes go up, cholent goes up. Cholent goes down, not up. What goes up? Aliyah Salimas is the question is if I if I feel it or not, if I'm sensitive to what it means is that every aspect of the world goes up on Shabbos. It's like when you sit down after the malacha and you reclaim your energy, so the energy now goes from the outside back into the inside. Vav yimay hamayseh and Shabbos is the same world but it's a completely different world. The six days of creation, the energy is projected into maysa. On Shabbos, the energy is reclaimed but there's a big difference between the creator and another person reclaiming their energy. If I painted a picture for 4 hours or I spoke for 4 hours and then I sit down on the couch, the picture remains on the wall. But since by the world the energy is the world. So, when I sham reclaims his energy, what comes with him? The painting comes together with him. The world is also I love you, understand? It's not there's his energy and there's a world. The world is the energy. In In Hebrew, it's interesting. In Hebrew, what do we What's the word for a thing? Davar. Davar means dibur. Why is a thing called a word? You understand why? Cuz there's no thing. Everything is words. What would we What What We found out in the 1950s about DNA. There's no body. There's no life. It's words. It's a program. It's DNA program. That's by Nivera Olam. It's It's divine DNA. So, every davar is a dibur. It's a dibur. Shaha koil niya. Bidvoroy. Shaha koil niya bidvoroy. So, when the dibur goes back, what else goes back? The davar goes back. So, the world is a higher world. Somebody told me went to Eretz Yisrael. Yeah, and he felt the earth is not the same. They just learned that my rhyme used to kiss the the earth. Why you kissing the earth of Eretz Yisrael? Why going to kiss the earth of JFK Airport? Ben Gurion Airport is so much better than JFK Airport. The same bureaucracy in both airports. It's much worse in Israel. You're not kissing the airport bureaucracy. The earth of Eretz Yisrael is different. Why? It's plain of Shabbos. The earth is different on Shabbos. The gefilte fish is different on Shabbos. Your wife is different on Shabbos. You're different on Shabbos. Your couch is different on Shabbos. Why is your couch different on Shabbos? The same couch you fall asleep there Sunday, you fall asleep there Shabbos. Shabbos you have more time to sleep. The visionary was a child. I told you once you were learning about Shabbos the asks, if you get lost in the midbar, you don't know which day is Shabbos. What do you do? You don't you you don't have a calendar. The cell phone is not charged. That's what I'm saying Amara. You forgot to charge your cell phone. And uh you don't know which Shabbos. So it's a machlokes. Machlokes of here about if you do Shabbos right away, if you count six days and then you do Shabbos, you do Shabbos then you count six days. Kibbud ya'aseh shalom, kibbud ya'aseh shalom. So the Ruzhiner Rebbi Yisrael of Ruzhin always Yahrtzeit is today. Gimmel Cheshvan the Rebbi Yisrael of Ruzhin. I didn't realize yet his Yahrtzeit is today. So he was a little child. Uh say again Elena, Gimmel Cheshvan, yeah. I think tough ratio tesara. In any case, so the Heichal Keruzhin there turns to his mother, he was a Yosef. He picks up his hand and he says "Washteinis the Gemara?" So he explains it again. I don't understand. Again he says, "Yisraelik, vos vashteist in this? What don't you understand? It's not so complicated." He says, "How does a person not know when Shabbos is? Megita cook." He says, "Megita cook of the himmel um zeitas is Shabbos." You take a look at the sky and you see it's Shabbos. He was so in touch with his body, with his somatic experience, it was aligned with emes. There's a different energy on Shabbos. Why is there a different energy on Shabbos? The world is a different world. Obviously my eyes have to be perceptive to energy. Because if I just played basketball for 3 hours, it didn't happen, but if I did play for 3 hours, right? And I'm exhausted. I'm exhausted. And now I sit down on the couch and I'm like my energy is coming back to myself. A person who's looking at me at that moment, if he doesn't know me from outside, he doesn't know what I did before. I know what I did. I'm feeling it. So I could look at the world on Shabbos and I don't see a difference. But somebody who knows the world from within, somebody who knows energy, right away Shabbos, he knows it's a different world. It's a different world. That's Aliya Salima. That's uh What's Shacharit Gemara? You also see when Shabbos is. Okay? But there's some people who don't. Some people don't. We look at the calendar to see what Yes, money money season money. Yeah, money season money. Huh? Yes, when you speak about my holy Shabbos, the foods of Shabbos, people sometimes misconstrue it. They think Shabbos is a mitzvah to to to to be a glutton. That's not the word. The word is for cat. You understand? Somebody was once enjoying the kugel a little too much. So there was a Hasid, he was a deep person. He said, "What's what's after the Hamas?" He says, "It's my haba." And and every bite of the kugel you get more you get more he says, "Well, you don't believe it?" He says, "No, I believe it, but the way your is going to smell, oh my god." The point is sometimes we take things with in a very in a very brute way. It's a very it's it's a English Shabbos. So he says like this, "Who did this for you guys when you go to my room, the stress of living life in this world with physicality, which is called my room." So now we understand why Shabbos. When you can take Shabbos is not a different world. It's that same world that's in a different space in an elevated space. There's a Jew who told me he's a very big fundraiser, and he told me he only fundraises on Shabbos. Cuz people are in a different mood. He says, "I'll never fundraise not on Shabbos. He says, "Shabbos you get triple the amount." Interesting. It's a big fundraiser. He said, "Only ask people for money on Shabbos." Interesting thing. He says, "You go into their house, they're relaxed." He says, "Sunday is not the same person." He says, he he tells you he I get triple amount of money. Most people don't think that, right? You fundraise on Monday, you don't fundraise on Shabbos. So, what's the good idea? That Noach is Shabbos. Why is Noach Shabbos? Because when you take the Mayim Rabim and it gets uplifted and sublimated through Tfillah B'chinus Elokus. Those are the words. I take my anxiety and I bring it back to Elokus, to godliness, meaning I reveal the shoresh of my anxiety in Elokus. That's the key. The shoresh of my anxiety is Elokus. Remember, it's Olam HaTohu. Olam HaTohu is divine. There was just a breakdown. So, you want to bring back the anxiety to Elokus. That's called Chiyas HaMeisim. When I do that, that is Shabbos. As he says, every Tfillah of the six days is a glow of Shabbos. How does Shabbos happen? Cuz every day there's Shabbos. Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday. What's the Shabbos of every day? The Tfillah of that day. The six The six days have a gray of Shabbos. We learn this also in Likutei Torah Behar as chapter 6 I said this earlier. So, when you have the Tfillah of every day, then you have a Shabbos. Meaning, Shabbos is the cumulative energy of all the Davvenings of the week. Why is Davvening Shabbos? Cuz what's Davvening? Davvening is the time when you take the world of the day and you make an Aliyah Olamus. You rest up. In other words, you bring it back to its source. You bring everything back to its source. So, you have to have an Nikkudah, compass, an essence. And then I take all the tension and all the appointments and all the experiences of the day, right? You wake up in the morning, so you have the previous day, you have the next day, and you bring it you try to bring it all into the relationship. You try to bring it all into the source. You don't deny it anything. It all becomes part of the experience. That's what Aliyah says. So that's Noah, that's Shabbos. Every day there's a little Shabbos. He says, "I call this a Shabbos tata." You have to understand this is the lower level of Shabbos. There's Noah Noah. There's two times Noah. So it says, he said in the beginning of the memoir, "The Shabbos tata, the Shabbos there's a lower level and there's a higher level of Shabbos." So this is Shabbos tata. Why is it Shabbos tata? It's a bad Shabbos. It's not a bad Shabbos. Because this is the Shabbos that's created from tension. This is the menucha that's created from the marbles. So it's called Shabbos tata. There's a higher level of Shabbos. So how much of a tiny little Shabbos. And this is the Shabbos of when we say a tiny little Shabbos. Means the day is going to be all Shabbos. That's Shabbos the higher Shabbos. So it says in the of Noah, I shall not have Noah on earth. Hashem says, "I made an oath that the waters of Noah will not pass through the world." If we just explained that the waters of Noah are so big, so why make an oath that may Noah shouldn't pass again on the earth? The answer is I have shame on you. Even though they came to cleanse Not every time do you need that cleansing. If there's tension, if there's anxiety, yeah, I need the cleansing. But I don't always need that cleansing. So the passage continues in the I also made an oath that I won't be angry anymore. I won't scream at you. What does this mean? This means there comes a place of a relationship where you don't have to bring in the negativity cuz you don't need it. You have to understand there's even a deeper love. It's not taking away anything we said. We spoke about other that comes through the rabim. But there's a love that's even deeper than that. Which comes from above. And that's even deeper than the love that comes through the raging waters. The says in Shiram his right arm embraces me. This love even though it's always present in the most revealed way permanently. It's going to come out in the future. The says in the same after. It's all the same after. The mountains will move. And the mounds will falter. Yet my kindness to you will never move. And the covenant of peace with you will never weaken, will never falter. Earlier This is the love that comes from above which is a full embrace where there's never a separation. Nothing can be moved. What's the saying? All this love we're talking about is amazing. But it's the love that comes from darkness. It's the love that cleanses. Why is there a need for cleansing? Because I'm in a state where I need cleansing and the will cleanse me. He says but then there is a Yom Shekulo Shabbos. And that's where the relationship is completely devoid of anything that's tense and anxious, not because of denial. When I'm in a world of a mabul, then I need a mainach. That's what creates Shabbos. But there's a whole different type of Shabbos, and this is the Shabbos that comes from above. When there's a flow of infinite love from above, where there's absolute oneness without any separation that is all blissful. And the blissfulness comes from the bliss itself, from the relationship itself. There's absolutely no dissonance whatsoever. There's no tension that can create a gulf that I have to overcome. Why? Because the flow of love is so powerful that there's absolutely nothing outside of the relationship. Complete intimacy, complete oneness. And we have glimmers of that. When people you can't get to Shabbos Elov without Shabbos Tata. Cuz if I don't work through Shabbos Tata, the anxiety is going to separate us. But after I work through Shabbos Tata, then there's a gift. And the gift is the gift of love that comes from above. The first gift of love comes from below. For example, it comes from from the mabul. It comes from oids and malachim omes. And then there's the gift that comes from above, which means it's liberated from any negativity, from any darkness. And he says, "And that's eternal. And it's essential. And in that relationship there's absolute oneness." And we could see that sometimes you have a relationship that's worked through. Afterwards, they come to even a deeper relationship. The relationship that's even deeper than trust. It's complete complete oneness. That's Shabbos Elov. That's Yom Shekulo Shabbos. That's Geulah. It's beyond tension. You don't need the tension to fuel the relationship. Why? Cuz I worked through the tension. Now there's just celebration of oneness. This is celebration of oneness without tension. Dalay tension. Dalay trauma. Not everything has to always forever be about trauma. When there's trauma, you got to talk about it. You know, I'm accused of talking too much about trauma. That's why I'm saying it. Yeah. Uh somebody came over to me said stay there. I promise you. I want you to make a resolution this year that you're not going to talk about trauma. There's no trauma. There's no darkness. Everybody is good. Everything is light. And I said, "Oh man, can you hear Hudson? If your words can take a blitz rate all trauma, I'm in." So now I think this person was to the mind Shabbos in law. Right? It's an important word because sometimes we romanticize darkness. He says, "Don't romanticize it. Don't romanticize it. Darkness has a role." You see the how the altar never could shift us away from one extreme to you know, till here in the mind everything was mind mind mind. Then he says, "MS, but there's something also higher than that." Can you celebrate the relationship itself? Can you become one and celebrate the relationship itself? But I'm telling you why didn't he start the mind in this way? Just start the mind and get in the normal because there was a marble. You understand? It's that that's that's where it's a sensitive issue. You know that the altar never does is not saying this cuz he's not ready to talk about the first thing. He's ready to talk about the first thing. It's a very big difference. Huh? After Shabbos there's also Shabbos in law. Why is it called a Shabbos? Called a Shabbos means it doesn't need the marble to make Shabbos. Called a Shabbos, it's all Shabbos. The first Shabbos is not called a Shabbos. It's Shabbos that comes from it's not yet that comes from the mind. It's Shabbos that comes from the mind. The second Shabbos, it's a gift. It's a gift it's something just pure pure. It's pure. It's the innocence of oneness that is absolute and non-negotiable. And that's even a deeper, deeper level. It's the Tikkun HaKlali. And that's why Hashem makes an oath that one day there won't be any more Mayim Because there won't be any separation. Cain is Shabbat Me Erbach in the Haftarah. And that's Chesed Me'eit Hashem Oish that never moves, it never budges, it can't be challenged because it's from a place of absolute absolute oneness. And he finishes in the parentheses V'zeh V'gavoha Me'od Sheb'chinat B'chol Mo'adecha B'chinat Gavoha Yoteir. Wow. You have to see what he says. It says in Yeshayahu Navi about Mashiach. He says Im Yaskil Avdi V'yarum V'nisa V'gavoha Me'od. I'm going to have a a servant who's going to become great V'gavoha Me'od and that's Mashiach. So the Alter Rebbe V'gavoha Me'od most people take it to go he's going to be very tall, very elevated. But the Alter Rebbe says V'gavoha Me'od it's going to be higher than the Me'od. We're talking about Me'od Zeman Hamoves, Me'od B'chol Mo'adecha. So he says V'gavoha Me'od Sheb'chinat B'chol Mo'adecha B'chinat It's going to be Gavoha from the Me'od. Usually you talk about Me'od that comes from the darkness, from the antithesis. The Chiddush of Geulah, Geulah consciousness of Mashiach is V'gavoha Me'od Sheb'chinat B'chol Mo'adecha B'chinat Gavoha Yoteir. It's going to be a higher B'chol Mo'adecha. So it's it's K'vayachol in Ein Sof itself. It's not the Ein Sof of Tohu that comes out in the darkness through which you touch infinity. It's a different type of Me'od. It's a higher Me'od. It's also Ein Sof, it's infinite, but it's a completely different type of Ein Sof because it's rooted in the absolute oneness where there's no separation and therefore it's Kulai Avah. This is the Avah Rabbah, Me'eit HaKlali, the hug. And the hug is important because a hug when you hug somebody they're in a grip and they can't leave. All other forms of love expression the person could leave. Right? If I kiss somebody, I talk to somebody, I look at somebody. But in Hebrew, when I hug you, you're in my grip. So, physically, you may want to leave, but spiritually, what does Hebrew mean? Hebrew means that there is an inseparable oneness. You're in the grip. You're in It's It's It's complete connection. There's no Hava Mana for disconnection. That's why the words are you mean it to have I. So, this is the deeper Hava and that's why there's an oath that one day the world will be cleansed even from the main act, even though that's also cleansing, cuz it'll be cleansed from the need of being cleansed. Because he says, "Not always do you need that tire." Sometimes you're cleansed from the need of being cleansed. And you have to be able to accept that with grace. Sometimes people are invested in having skeletons. Can you ever look in the mirror and say, "You know what? Everything is good. Everything is good." By the way, that's hard sometimes for people. They're so used to uh They're so used to uh And I'm talking about an elevated person. They're so used to dealing with with with darkness. You know that that's almost like what's what's going to be my life now? I have no problems. Okay. So, Baruch Hashem, I don't know that we're all there that moment at the moment. So, that's why, you know, you have to deal with what you have to deal with, but it's a it's a very important idea to be able to sometimes say maybe it's not such a Jewish thing. To be able to say, "Wow, this is good. This is amazing. This this this this This feels right." And without saying, "No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. There's a secret. There's a secret. Why don't you talk about the secret?" There's no secret. Sometimes that that's that's a different avoid. It's like graduating from Galas into Gullah. It's hard. Because I'm so invested that I have problems. So, what does it look like to wake up and say Huh? What does it look like to wake up in the morning and say, "I don't have any problems." This year. You have to open yourself up to that opportunity. Huh? What's the subconscious reason you have to go? So it's a different It's not that there's no challenge, but the challenge is of a different level. It's a different level. In other words, don't worship trauma. Don't worship that you have skeletons. You have skeletons, work with them. But don't become addicted to the fact that you messed up. You know, some people are a little bit of addicted to the fact that they're messed up. It makes them feel good. It gives them purpose. No, no, I messed up. Now, I'm You have to be sensitive with this because we are messed up, at least some of us. So So we shouldn't ignore that. We shouldn't ignore that. But the point is we're also not messed up. And you have to be able to to to graduate. And you have to be able also before you graduate to be able to to celebrate the beauty of a relationship that's not messed up. In other words, sometimes the flood has to end. Sometimes the flood has to end. Huh? Yeah. An inner vanic inner vanic affiliate. Okay. So everybody have an amazing Shabbos, a Shabbos of of Noach. Baso Hashem Shabbos we have the regular sheerum. And uh we're going to continue Monday morning the last piece of the mind. Huh? Huh? Havakuk? Hibuk. Very nice. Havakuk is his amazing hibuk. The tsunami. Havdalah Hebrew, very nice. Very nice. Please help me, sir. Huh? Uh-oh, yeah. You know what? Shabbos, we use it over there. Shabbos, we use it in 20. Oh, okay. Fine, no problem. You leave. Uh-oh, what a smell. What is that? That also That also is an addiction. Right. Yeah. Don't hold on to that. Who Newton? Who you say? Newton? Isaac Newton. Yeah, yeah. Gravity. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The light trauma. The light it means enough. No. Of course. My name is Robin. My Huh? Okay. You said about the them they should be like saying like the person that works in Times Square, he's the one who could be be the doing his by by this I know but it's It's not it's not possible. You're going to be Yeah, unless you go with blinders. Right right driving in the city is not shai'cha to you. No, he's talking about No, they felt that there's so much by them. There's so many tear this. They were stressed out by parnossa, so washing machine Yeah, but they were but they were they were they were They were them. The the Bal Tanya had a of his. I once said from the for bringing he said that the Bal Tanya had a his name was Benjamin Klatsker. Klatsk a klotz in in in Yiddish is is lumber wood. He was a big merchant of lumber. And he was very very very affluent and wealthy person at least the standards of the time. And the said that Benjamin Klatsker at the end of the year he was going through you know all the checks and balances, every sale, every purchase, what came in, what went out. Everything, every single transaction of lumber from the to him and from him to his clients. And then he said he finished and on the bottom was the last entry. So he wrote ain't no water. Ain't no water. That's the mice. The said doesn't have a Havana. If ain't no water So then the whole thing you should have written on everyone ain't no water. Elema, there are dollars and cents. Yeah, there's rubles, there's cup cuz there's something called business. So so so what's this joke then? Huh? So he said he said I've added this dollars and this cents and this transactions, but what's the circle? What's the summation of it? In I've added it's all That was the fun. So I'm saying that's the Bal Sukum. He's talking about a Bal Sukum. Everything was different under. But but this Remember But remember lifespan was very short. Mortality death of children was very big. So there were many It wasn't Because there was a Malchus. Yeah, Jewish blood was sometimes half good. No, I'm saying it was you know. It was tough. It was tough. Maybe they didn't know how tough it was because their standards No, I'm saying when you know wealth, you know what poverty is. If if this is the only reality, it's not called poverty, right? The more choices people have, the more miserable they become. If you don't have choices, this is it. I'm saying it was you know, life wasn't uh It's we don't we It's hard for us to imagine. Yeah. Ah, Baruch Hashem by you. Wow. Wow. Wow. your name? Really? Really? Is it his name? What's his first name? You went to Jerusalem? The neighborhood? So you don't have a bus ticket? So you have a car but you don't have a bus ticket? It's all good. I have a bus ticket. What's his first name? Okay. We felt his heart. Cancer. Really? I have the website. I have to have the website. Wow. Some of them are good guys. I wish you all the best and good health. I was giving you Yeah. I sent him a gift, yeah? Huh? I did this. Okay, good job. It's a pleasure to have you. It's a pleasure to have you. Yeah. The sham you say that. Rashi says in Beitzah, yeah? That doesn't mean you can eat more on Shabbos. A honey, a honey, a honey, a honey. A Shabbos lay a honey avada avada avada. Avada the sugar with toddy and the carbona avada. A honey, a honey on top of a middle of Yeah, a honey. Yeah. Tora is really Right, so Shabbos is is so so we want we want the light of toyo but in the vessels of tikkun. It shouldn't be just toyo that breaks. We want it in the vessels of tikkun. You understand? So it's integrated. Yeah. Right, I hear you. Do you have an answer? Okay, I'm going to have to ask them. It's a good China. It's a good question, yeah. It's a good question. Right. Right, right. I hear you. Right. Okay, we have what to think about. Pleasure to have you. It's like a rubber. You and your father-in-law. Regards at home. A honey of other, yeah? Yeah, so the color of yeah, yeah. Actually says in case shame Shabbos on them, yeah? It's working so the color of It's different, different, yeah. Beautiful. It's saying that So the color of yeah. Okay. but I'm going back to hold too. So Ruby said that What's your name? Menachem Gruner. Gruner? Yes, I love you. Ruby said that Hashem to define Hashem is undefined is also a definition. So just like there's infinite undefinedness is also infinite fineness. But we find in a lot of ways that Hashem is defined. Hashem can't die. Hashem can't kill himself. Hashem can't become finite being. So why is it The definition of infinite is that's fine. Let him Let Hashem just be infinite. Why does he also have to be finite? My Ruby's asking Hashem can't become corporeal being or Hashem can't die. All right, that's that's definitely one of the laws. Well, if we're if we're if we're employing logic here, which may be make may be a mistake, but if we're employing logic here, if infinity can become finite, it's only because it's infinite. So the finiteness won't obliterate infinity. It's just an expression of infinity. So it's not a contradiction. In other words, when you say he can't make another god or he can't, you know, the famous thing where he makes a stone that he can't pick up or or can Hashem kill himself, right? If this other god, so to speak, if it's it's because he's doing it. So then it's him. If it's his limitation, then it's him. So it's infinite. So it's not really a contradiction. In other words, if the finite is an expression of the infinity, it's not really finiteness. It's an expression of the infinity. If we're using logical concepts, So you're you're asking me that Hashem can't be finite in the way that would contradict the infinity. But as long as the finiteness is an extension of the infinite, it will still be infinite as far as that goes. If we're using the word of logic If we're using the world of logic, then the word can't make sense. Cuz if the finiteness is coming from infinity, it's an expression. It's a continuum of the infinity. Again, if If we're using seichel, right? Even if he becomes a physical being, it's him becoming a physical being. So, it's not finite. It's infinite. The physical being is a manifestation of infinity. So, what's bothering you about a physical being shouldn't bother you. You understand what I'm saying? You're looking at a physical being as finite. I'm mortal. I'm frail. I'm weak. I'm limited. But if the physical being is a manifestation of infinity, it shouldn't bother you. There's a machlokes It is. The machlokes in the Rambam and the Raavad about this in Hilchos Teshuvah. The Rambam says that somebody who believes that Hashem has a guf, he's a baal guf, is a min. He's a heretic. The Rambam writes this. Right. Right. So, the Raavad writes, this is an unbelievable Raavad. I quote verbatim, "There were people greater than the Rambam. Many people greater than the Rambam who believed that Hashem is a baal guf." Really? Take a look. Rambam, Hilchos Teshuvah, perek gimmel, halacha same as Raavad. L'chora, right? The Raavad says this. from the No, for crying out loud. The Rambam says, "Ain like ain't You hear? So, what's the Havannah? This is what the I would the I would is not saying that the I would is wrong. He's saying to call them minim. That I I also hold that I shouldn't have a goof, but the but the those who did is interesting, no? Fascinating, I So, I want to take a look, yeah. You'll see a Sugas I would. He doesn't just say other he said good with me men. I would is very sharp. would know of this or the surrounding I would they would have a field day. It's not me gay to not just show them because Huh? Rashi says that in this week and last week about the feeling and the blah blah the the men of the king whatever who came and they looked at the women of the earth and they had children. Thus, that's my mission. I want to show them the I would show them he was discussing it. So, he says what's the Havannah with this? Good with the toy with the I would. Good with the toy with the I would. The I would knew who the I would is greatness. It wasn't uh I would is considered good with the toy with the I would. You could say that he wants to say they weren't up of course. There were such a The pile of the clay you show it's not the scabbard I ain't like goof and like moose I could but it's an unbelievable I would. So, I want to show them the I would this is what that that is that because of real infinity it has no limit so it could be manifested in a goof also. Don't put a limit on it. Don't say it can't be a goof. By definition of line it could be Because it's completely inside. saying that I shouldn't create a rock he can't pick up. So, that's what I'm discussing. So, I'll be say her. I'll be say her if it's a manifestation of infinity so you don't have to be scared of a goof. That's what he really wants to do. Don't limit even the fact that he's unlimited. That's how he touched the I would. That's how the I would touched the I would. Then he said good with the toy with the I in other words, that they felt that this is deeper than the Rambam. The Rambam is saying ain like guf, and the Raavad is saying I'm not saying he has a guf. But the world of the world, and he touched on my little guy, the world of the world, that it's deeper than the Rambam. So why is that not a discussion for the next room then? Why is that not a discussion that they're they're all things Cuz they're not looking to follow the Rambam or the Raavad. If you're looking for the Rambam or the Raavad, because it has nothing to do to take a person who was born from a mother and to say that he's God, that that You understand? Why? If God wanted it, could he do that? If God wanted it, so what? Hashem told Moshe Rabbeinu that he's taking a person who was born in the year zero to a mother and he's turning him into Hashem? If you have such a possuk, you're right. If there was such a possuk, K'vayochol, according to the Raavad, and Hashem would say in this and this year there's going to be this, and I'm telling you that's me, fine. The Raavad says, but that's not what happened. There's a person who was a regular person, and they turned him into a deity. That's Avodah Zarah. The Raavad is talking if Hashem could do it, he says. You understand? Not not to compare Not This is supposed to be This is a whole story about a person you decided that he's God. My brother told me I have a brother Simon. He told me he's once sitting with a bunch of cardinals. And uh and it was a very warm conversation. They got into it. Just doing to ask him a lot of questions. Finally, it was like a little intimate. They turned to him and said, "So, who do you believe is the Messiah?" And he knew this is very So, he thought for a moment and he said, "Well, it's one Jew or another." They all burst out laughing, and they're like, "It's one Jew or another." The emes is that deep down deep down it says on Yaakov, "Vayikra lo Kel Elokei Yisrael. Vayikra lei Kel, he called Yakov Kel Elokei Yisrael. Rashi says the front of Megillah Hakadosh Baruchu Korrei lei Yakov Kel. He called Yakov Kel. You have such a chiddush. In Zohar it says man pnei Adonai Hashem dorash bi. In Yerushalmi it says Who's Hashem? Rabbi Shimon bar Yochai. A Zohar. In Yerushalmi Bikkurim it says Hashem Beheichal Kodsheiha Vakik after of Shavuos. This is the Rabbi Yitzchak bar Elazar Bevei Kenishta deKeisarin. One of the big Amora'im when he was in his Yeshiva in Keisaria, that's Hashem Beheichal Kodsheiha. What what all these things mean? Right, but it's a So Rabbi Nachman bar Yitzchak writes a passuk as Kisei Sod Hashem im Yirei'av u Vrito L'hodi'am. And the shliach nikra Hashem sholchai. A person sometimes is a complete con- conduit for Hashem, you could call him Hashem. Like Moshe says in in Shma u Nasati mitar artzechem. Sefer Devarim is not Moshe repeating, it's Moshe speaking himself. Moshe mippi atzmo amra. U Nasati, I'm giving rain. I'm giving rain. So there's a frisa chinam midaberet mitach grona. Moshe's eye was a conduit for Hashem. But that could be the neshama. Here the chiddush is the guf. The Rebbe Rashab, the first Rebbe Rashab writes that a maskil, a secular enlightened Jew came to the Tzemach Tzedek and he said, "Can Hashem make another god?" So he said, "Vayikra lei Kel Elokei Yisrael." He called Yakov Kel. It's the pnim in Kabbalah called Tiferes de Zeir meaning sometimes in emes, where you have to be very sensitive with this, when it's going to be in this gala and Messiah comes and ain't no more valid in Amish. And that every person is mom and she look of a sham. So could be that's the beginning of the driver is talking about. But it's it's it's it's it's it's it's deep stuff. It's deep stuff and it's very sensitive. very dangerous. Huh? And it's very dangerous. It's dangerous if you don't have the right agdomas. If you have the right agdomas, it's not dangerous. It's dangerous when it's amaretzes. Yeah, amaretzes is dangerous. That's lucky Rama. Yeah. But you understood? A little bit. A little bit. The rabbi was saying in the sheer that Shabbos is just that Shabbos is Rabbi I don't know if the thing I don't this is not a right to watch necessarily to watch uh You're saying you're saying that Shabbos has a collect to to change everything. Yeah? That is theory but it's not a right to say. No, we were just on Shabbos Aliyah Salomas. That Shabbos the world is in a different space. The world Oh, the the original he said that you just look into the world and he And I lost it also. I lost it also, yeah. I'm saying this time that you bring If I drink wine on Monday night, I'm not the kind of mitzvah, right? It's a different wine. Yeah, it's a different drink. Set up the table. I have a suda. Even the physicality really learning tired on Shabbos for steak. It's always a mitzvah. But you're eating food on Shabbos. You make a tish talk on this. You put on clothes. It's a different thing in the body is different than It's not just something that you're pretending to do like the Gamora by Rabbi in the Latin innocent So Messiah is the Messiah is different. The essence is an under essence, yeah. Tavlin shma despite it's the food is different. The the food is different with Kaya. They say the Gamora it says ain't no dimer ain't no dimer madrasas ain't no dimer upon of shalom bashabas to the body. It says in madrasas ain't no novel shalom ain't no mayor coil. Ain't no novel mashabas madrasas ain't no mayor coil. The middle of the summer time is the Torah coil. She says I heard from a big doctor he was doctor living living living fallen Russia. That the day thick the pulse of a Jew on shabas is different than the pulse of a whole year. Doctor told him. He says you had from a big hey echo the daily he says one of the biggest doctors in Russia testified that the day thick the pulse of a Jew on shabas is different than it is. And he says it's called the hour of shalom ain't no shabas huh? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah the ball thick huh? I hear you. The middle of the day wasn't shy after that. Okay, I was taking a shower again. Okay. In the hearts in the hearts. Yeah, hot slug.