The #5 Commandment of Dating: Be Your Higher Self - Rabbi Eli Deutsch

Many people date as their best self and then marry as their worst self. Welcome back to the 10 Commandments of Dating. This is commandment number five. Thou shalt be your higher self and then live it. I was once invited to be part of a panel at a singles event. There was a Jerusalem dating coach, there was me, and there was the head of the psychology department at Bar-Ilan University. At one point, a young woman asked the question, "How should I present myself on a date? Like, should I be my better self? Should I present my higher self? Or should I present how I usually am?" So, listen to what this Jerusalem dating coach said in response. She said, "Here's what you do. You pull out all the stops at the beginning. You show your best self physically, personally, for the uh first number of dates. And then, once you have him hooked in, gradually let go, little by little, date after date, until you're down to where you really are." Now, personally, I was horrified by this as a number of people who were there were as well. I wish I could tell you about all the things I responded, but but this is exactly what you don't want to do. This is manipulative, and this is also what encourages people not to uh you know, pursue relationships long-term. Instead, what you want to do is yes, be your higher self. Don't be fake, but be the higher version of yourself, and then actually live it. Strive to actually be that person ongoing in your relationship with this person as well as in all of life. That's who we want to be. That's how we want to be. That's respect in relationship. And that's leveling up in life. All right, my friends. Follow for the rest of the series.