The Baal Shem Tov & Alter Rebbe: Opposite Approaches to Living in Flow?

Okay, just before we begin, just a few uh basic announcements. Next week, we're also on next week there'll also be a class Tuesday, our pre- rashana class uh at 8 at 9:30 a.m. Same place here. and this shabas we begin it's an early beginning of so as we always do every year before there'll be a big faban with words of inspiration and malavala and music everybody is invited it's going to be livereamed on the yeshiva.net net 10:30 p.m. before so you could watch it online and you could send your husbands and boys to 20 for where it's going to take place live. That's a preab and wishing everybody an amazing year and a for you and your loved ones and a year of true uh victory and of complete redemption. Amen. Today's class is dedicated by Leorasi in honor of her youngest son Simka in honor of his 18th birthday kai birthday on the 25th day of ll which is also the birthday of the world. So it's a very good day to have a birthday. You join the birthday of the universe. May he have a safe and successful year in the premilitary in Israel. And may we see an immediate return of all of the Jewish hostages from captivity. Safe return of all of our soldiers, security of all of our people and of all good people. And this is dedicated by Leora Laskkey. Thank you for being a pillar of inspiration and empowerment and for all of your partnership. Thank you very very much. Today's class is also dedicated in honor of the one and only my dear father-in-law Ben Reb and Esther Schlommo in honor of his birthday today for many many long happy healthy years including of his son-in-law and all of abundant blessings. Thank you very very much and welcome everybody. So there's always this time of the year there's always I get the lots and lots of uh emails and questions of people and it's a little hard to read because there's for many many people the this time of the year is very very difficult. It's emotionally very very challenging. Uh some people just the word l already sends tremors of dread or anxiety down their spine and in many of their bones. Never mind and yim. And even if it's hard for people to say sometimes they're just like can we just get over this like ASAP. Sometimes there's such a sense of uh of dread that people are even afraid to talk about this because you know who knows what I'm how punish how I'm going to get punished for saying how I don't like it. And uh always before this at this time of the year I get requests from different uh organizations that are involved with helping people in their mental health uh journeys to be able to address this. And the questions that come in are so painful because people really um see this time through a lens of very very uh profound inner guilt and inner inner shame. Just the word days of judgment is enough to really uh push people over the top especially if throughout their life they have experienced a lot of negativity especially in their relationship to Judaism or religion or their homework community. this time of the year only amplifies that intensity of the negativity and I think we live in a time that it is so so important to be able to heal this and uh I don't have to only talk about other people I also talk for myself you know uh with all of the intellectual explanations sometimes in our bone and our bones and nervous system there's just an intensity intensity is not a bad thing intensity is a sign of life but there's the negative intensity the intensity that comes with with with with sad or or judgmental and very very uh difficult voices and especially if people follow the text of the that the already began in the beginning of Ll and Ashkanazm are going to begin this shabas and the different felis and prayers and confessions for many. It just amplifies how bad they are, how bad things can be and how their creator is looking to find that space. We're going to do a reckoning and we will finally find everything that you have hidden from others or from yourself and it's difficult for people often to live with even if it's hard to admit and what we want to do in this class and I pray that I should be able to be a channel for this type of uh light and healing and love is to be able to shift a little bit of this process not to sugarcoat um sometimes people think it's like two extremes you know there's this sugarcoated Judaism where everything is like cute and loving, liberal, da d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d dandy, uh uh progressive, uh everybody's always perfect and impeccable and flawless and just build your self-confidence and look in front of the mirror and say I'm the most perfect person who ever ever lived. I don't make mistakes like the guy who told his wife, I never made a mistake in my life. The only mistake I made was back in 1963. She said, what happened? He said, I thought I made a mistake. That was the only mistake I made. for the other extreme which is like real no make a reckoning you're a mature you're a mature girl you're a mature boy you're an adult it's fine you can make a confession you could confess mistakes you don't have to be perfect it's like almost like two two extreme approaches and uh so people who have a inner base of uh of calmness and self-love it actually works because even if you throw you know some arrows there is like an internal confidence but people who don't have that you know just throw throwing one ball can completely put them off balance. And it's very very interesting to see a person who's had, you know, deep and safe attachment. So when they grow up, even if they're experiencing criticism or or what they perceive as harsh judgment, their baseline is fine. So I can deal with it. I can catch the ball and throw it back or run with it. But when the baseline is on a good day, you know, on a good day is off and there's so much struggle now, the intensity of what seems to be negative can really really hurt people a lot. And I I over the years I've received so many letters or or hearing from people about this, both both men and women from so many different types of communities and I really feel it's it's important to address and even those who don't suffer acutely from it. Barak Hashem, but nonetheless, it helps us all when we can go into a deeper place and really get to the core of what this time is. So there is a big difference between stress that crushes us and intensity that opens us up, that cracks us open. It's very different. When you say that the time is serious and intense, it doesn't mean it's negative. Serious and intense. A wedding, a ka is a serious time. It's an intense time. People are getting married and it's defining the future of their life and their family. It's not a frivolous, lightaded time, but it's considered a very, very joyous occasion. Real relationships are intense. If I'm affecting somebody in a deep place and they're affecting me in a deep place, there's an intensity there. But it's a beautiful intensity. It's an intensity. In Hebrew, there's a word lit like it's it's huh that's like it's a time that has an energy charge a lot of charged energy there's potency here potency is very different than negative pressure so that's what we want to distinguish with with let's begin with a very very famous pk it's one of the most famous verses in tahim and even if people don't know it from the itself know they know it from one of the many songs that has been composed on these words right or many of the other songs and in many communities these verses are said every single day from the first day of from the second day of the first day of the month of L all the way through Shina Rabba there's different customs about this but generally this is not universal but many communities say twice a day some three times a day Hashem every day of in other words it's somehow connected to this time of the year even though at the surface it doesn't discuss or but this is what we say and over there there's the famous verse says your opening source in your source sheets there's one thing I request of Hashem this is what I really seek to sit in the house of Hashem all the days of my life to gaze at the pleasantness. Noya means the sweetness like is a sweet person, a pleasant person to gaze at the pleasantness of Hashem and to visit the sanctuary. Beautiful, beautiful words of this is the one thing I ask. This is where I want to live. This is where I want to dwell on there's a medish like all of has medish which is the oral tradition commentary on the verses on this verse on this. It was a very interesting medish and a little perplexing medish to Abba Omar Abba the son of Kahana who was one of the great sages he commented and he said let me tell you what is behind this malus sha David was really asking for malus he was not yet a king he was still the son-in-law of the king at this time he was actually a fugitive as you could see in the chapter and what he's really asking for is I want the throne. I want Malus. That's what he's looking for. That's where Abba's commentary is. The commentators are a little perplexed. What is he trying to tell us? It's a beautiful verse tells you what he wants. You don't have to like read into it. It's not like he's being ambiguous. It's like, what do you really want saying I want to sit in the house of my whole life? See his grace, his pleasantness, his beauty, his sweetness. That's what I want. It's almost like almost a cynical commentary. You know what he's really looking for? He wants to win the elections. He wants the throne. He wants power. He didn't say that. I don't hear over here that he wants power. I hear the opposite. I want to sit in the house of Hashem all the days of my life and just gaze at. That's what I want. And he says, I don't even want anything else. It's almost like Aba says, you know, it's almost like, well, let's put him in therapy and we'll see that there's a subconscious request. There's one thing that he says and there's another thing that he means. And what does he mean? Where did he see it in these words? And why is it even necessary to go to this level? Like what do they say? A cigar is sometimes a cigar. Sometimes what people say they want is actually what they want. Maybe there's no like conspiracy theory behind it. Some of the commentators say that the focus is I want to sit in the house of hashem in the mikd nobody would sit everybody would stand. The only ones who would sit were the garra says only the kings of David of the house of David they would sit in the azar. In fact, the Garra says one of the reasons Benvat rebelled against the monarchy of who was the son of Schlim is because when everybody comes to the Bikdash he's going to sit I'm going to stand and that's why he split up and he made two idols two golden idols in Dan in the north of Isra cutting off connection to the Bdar so nobody would see the contrast between and says shifty I want to sit in the house. Sit. You can't sit. You stand. This means he wants to be a meal. That's how they explain it. But it's really seems a little far-fetched because this was really his sole request in life that when everybody is standing, I want a seat. Is this really really what wanted more than anything else? I should be able to have a seat. Especially this is before the B mikdash was built. David himself never built a B mikdash. And this is even before he was a king. So he's asking about the future that he should be able to sit and especially Rashi says that the fact that was given from he who didn't even have to ask for it. It was already a reality that was given from say so we're back to the question. What did mean when he says okay let's go off. We're going to change the subject for a few moments and we're going to come back to this. There's an expression by one of the great masters rebay. said in the day of which is elut is 18 life gives a it animates it gives a vitality to the month of el what did he mean by this kel which is coming up in a few days is well known in the Jewish calendar number one as the yard site of the moral of prague who passed away it's also the birthday of two of the great sages the bal and the alterb the balat was born on which is 1698 in the Hebrew calendar it's 500 500 nun so that would be 5 and okay you didn't have to figure that out 54 4 58 which would be 6098 and 47 years later on the same day was the birthday of the bal of the known asb who was also born in the year to kuh 7 1745 he was a student of the mag of misri who was a successor of the bos and also a seventh generation of the maharal of prague whose yards is on that day that he was born on so when the when they said gives a It means that there's something about the birth and the perspective of these individuals, what they brought to the world that gives a new vitality into the month of Allah. We're going to examine today two of the famous works of these two people, the BMP and the Balata, and how they open up and see what they're teaching, some of the main teachings, how it becomes relevant to how it becomes relevant to our life. We'll also see what seems like to be a contrast and nonetheless when you go a little deeper not only is it not a contrast but it complements each other. So let's begin with the BMP. The BMP I told you was born in 1698 in a very very difficult time in Jewish history because right before his era there were two great calamities that befell the Jewish world. Number one, there were the Kalanetski pagrams of 1648 1649 known as Tak Vatat physically that destroyed much of Polish and Ukrainian jewelry in a very devastating way. Of course once the Holocaust came it eclipsed all the previous events but in that time it was a earthshattering and devastating catastrophe for the Jewish communities in Eastern Europe. There was also another calamity which was the Shabsitvi debacle. Shabsit declared himself to be Messiah and he had a great spokesman Nathan from Gaza who was a great PR man and the world much of the Jewish world fell for him. And when Shabiti converted to Islam to save his life and he became a Muslim, you can only imagine what that did to the Jewish spirit. And just a few short years later, the BMP was born. Generally life was also very depressing because the average life certainly of the Jewish people was just it was so much misery. The lifespan was short. The poverty was profound. There was no security and safety. There was a deep deep misery. There was also a divide sociologically in the Jewish world. So there was just like a depressing vibe. There were the elitists who were great scholars. They lived in their world. And then there were the many simpletonans who didn't feel so much connected. And the bash came he's known very well as the founder of what we callus the movement ofus. Now some people associate that you know with herring and shall and a good kumzits and some schnaps and sponge cake and making people feel good about themselves. But the bump of the truth is the bos was one of the greatest minds and souls in his Jewish history. You could see from his students that he attracted some of the brightest minds and hearts. And what the bash did was he he wanted to reveal a new light a new light or emphasize I should say not new emphasize a new light and depth in Yiddish. One of his famous books is called now he himself did not write his teachings. They were written by students. So we don't have actual writings of him. But we have a few books that were written by students. One of them is called is not a it's not his final will in testament. It's just sayings apherism that they collected from what he said and they wrote it down. It's small small paragraphs like small statements very interesting insights and perspectives on life. Bash himself didn't have an easy life. He lost both of his parents when he was a very young boy. when he was four or 5 years old. Both of his parents died and he didn't have people to raise him. So they put him in different places and cities for the communities to raise him. But he was one of these boys who did not do well in the schools. There was a good reason for it. His soul was very big. So he hung out in the forests. He raised himself in the forest. He loved the forest. He said the forests are not impure. Nobody hacks a chinik. Nobody talks to you. They don't tell you what they think. You can actually experience the rhythm of God. So that's where he grew up. He would spend hours and hours in the forests and ultimately he became one of the greatest luminaries in the Jewish world and in the Jewish history. I want to teach teach with you. I want to learn with you one of the opening statements in Savas that comes from the BM which is a vista into our conversation today about what the BMP tried to reveal in the world and why gives a new. So if you take a look in your second source in the beginning it says what does that mean? It's inumm chapter 16. Anybody knows what the word shi means >> literally I have placed means I have placed hashemi before me continuously. And this is the basic statement that's also brought in the beginning of is the idea that I place Hashem before me. And therefore I know that Hashem sees me, Hashem is here with me. And that's the foundation of what we call Shamayan or of heaven or fear of heaven because it means that even if nobody sees me and when I'm in the privacy of my own life, my own bedroom, my own home, my own office, my own heart, maybe not a be a soul there, but God is there. God is present. So anchors the person. It means that the person is as we say there's an eye that sees an ear that hears. That's the basic meaning of the says I live with a continuous consciousness that there is a creator and Hashem is right here before me constantly wherever I am in the world and whatever the circumstances are. So shi means I place comes the balm and says shi has another meaning in Hebrew comes from the word shave in Hebrew means um equal or uniform right in either it's called the same let's see what he says also comes the word uniformity the the real word for what this is I believe equinamity. Did I pronounce it correctly? >> Equinimity. Okay, equinimity means a certain internal steady calmness that is constant. There's a certain it's like there's a certain straightness, a uniformity, a calmness in the person. It represents a person's state of composure. These are the words of the I mean he spoke in Yiddish, but this is the cont content of what he said. All experiences of life, so many different things happen. The person maintains a certain composure. They're anchored in a certain place of safety. Sometimes people praise you. Sometimes people denigrate you, right? Sometimes you finish a class and like, "Wow, that was amazing." And sometimes or whatever it is, feedback of one way, feedback of another way. The says when you're in a place of shi, it's shva. You don't get rattled and uprooted. It's like a tree. You remain anchored in your energy even though the circumstances changed. It's like there may be a storm, but if the tree has good roots, it remains shi. The storm comes, the storm goes. You know, like surfers, you ever see surfers in the ocean, >> Nicaragua? >> Huh? >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The waves sometimes go up, they go down, but you know how to remain. You don't get rattled and frazzled through the turbulence and the ups and the downs. If you went ever went on a roller coaster or you like ferris wheels better, but whatever it is, some lives are ferris wheels, some lives are roller coasters. There's an element of And he continues, In all things, this is just one example. Someone is praising me, somebody's denigrating me. Some texts lift you up. Some texts are very different. He says it's even about your diet, your eating. Sometimes you have the merit of being given the best food that you cook yourself and sometimes you eat what other people cook. In other words, there's an element of the person knows who they are is not in control and therefore there's any experience a person has the person says to themselves this comes from and if in his eyes this is the right thing I can embrace it. The person does not take things personal and therefore their life doesn't get rattled and frazzled from one extreme to another extreme. He says this is a very lofty way of living. A little later in the book he adds and he says you should meditate anything in the world is filled with the presence of the creator. Molly Molly means just like a cup is filled with water or filled with juice or coffee, every experience is filled with God's presence, God's energy, powerful words. Even things that are done through people and we think they're doing it with tricks means they're scheming. You know, you have this cup that how do you say dre in English? Huh? There's no there's no dups in English, right? Not like in Yiddish. Okay. Huh? >> Yeah. Yeah. People who are like, so what do you mean? God is not there. So he says they think they're running the show, but what they're doing really without the divine energy inside of them, they can't do anything. Even the smallest of things say a leaf falls off the tree and starts rolling on the ground and a wind comes and pushes the leaf this direction, that direction. It's also with divine providence. You don't get stuck on expectations. This is how I need it to be. This is how I want it to be. You're disappointing me. You don't get stuck in that. You know why? Because you know this is how God wants it to be. So, it's actually probably much better for me or certainly much better for me if it actually didn't turn out the way I expected it and anticipated it. And another point here is the way a person serves Hashem is he doesn't have a certain model. Hashem wants me to serve him in all different types of ways. Says sometimes my role is to have conversations with people and the conversations need to be relatable to them. And that means at that moment I cannot be in my own spiritual stance means souls that are sensitive. They want to be in an intimate space of oneness with Hashem. And it's a very very silent meditative space of bliss and oneness. But if somebody now is talking to me and I need to connect to them, I may have to completely extricate myself from that uh blissful internal spiritual uh transcendental space. Those of you who do the spiritual work know what you know the pain of this. So the person gets very frustrated. Leave me alone. I'm not interested in this. I don't have time to do the laundry and cook and deal with people on this level. Don't go into pain. Don't start feeling aggravation and guilt. And how do you know what service of God looks like? Sometimes he wants me to serve him this way and some he wants me to serve him the exact opposite way. Like the of says, "Don't do this to God." Say, "Don't do this." He says, "Don't believe that serving God is king. This is how it is now. It's this way. And in an hour from now, maybe it's going to be the opposite. Don't get stuck in any box of what it has to look like. I don't know what it has to look like. You know what it has to look like? What it looks like. What it looks like, that's what it has to look like. This is a heart that's free. The heart is is is in a flow. It's free. It doesn't get stuck. And therefore, if it gets rattled, it's now angry because you just shook me and you took me away from the only place where I feel comfortable. This is really an invitation not to be able to be trapped by comfort zones. And that's why he gave you an opportunity. Now you're going on the road. And when you're on the road, it's not the same like when you're in one space. He says here is the great principle surrender. Allow your activities to rely on God and bring your meditative thoughtful space to a space of what we call mindfulness. Any circumstances that come up is part of the experience of a relationship with God and always know and ask him that I should be able to be in touch with my true journey and goodness and not try to fit in with other people's expectations or even my own based on my logic the way it's supposed to look for life to be good. I want to get out of that. And I even ask him, take me out of that orbit which is very very stifling and always creates disappointment because sometimes what seems like exactly what the best thing for me is actually undermining me. It's actually not helping me where I need to be. Surrender. Put it on him. Let him ride. Let him guide you. Then he says, this is very fascinating. Don't become meticulous about everything. One of the greatest tools of the is telling you, you're guilty. You didn't do this right. You didn't do this right. How could you go to sleep without kissing the muza? How could you go to sleep without this? How could you do? And the person is now in a place of such anxiety and I didn't do this correct. And this dict was not good. And it's all the just get you into a depression. If you're in a depression, if your heart closes, if you're anxious, God hates me. God is going to punish me. That's the victory. It looks like it's Judaism. He says the exact opposite of Judaism. A sense of inner despondency, melancholy like that inner guilt is a great pretor of serving Hashem. It has nothing to do with even if I did it. What if I did a sin? I'm not being OCD. It's not my mother used to do it this way. My Bubba used to do it this way. She survived a so that I should be such a paradam. Huh? Yeah, that's what she survived for, right? It's not that. But did something wrong. I made a mistake. He says, "I get it, but don't go in now into that self-loathing." You know why? What that makes sure is that the sin continues feel bad for the And now say it's time to go back to joy. Time to go back to service. If you're having remorse and it's genuine and you're learning your lesson, it's done. Done. That's it. The fact that I have to regurgitate it in my mind again and again and again and again and again and 3 weeks later I apologized. You were sincere. God knows if you're sincere. You learned your lesson. It's dumb. The fact that a week later I'm regurgitating regurgitating in my mind restless. This is a trauma. This is aara blockage in order to be able to take me away from the rhythm of shi. These are some quotes of it gives you a perspective of what he's trying to teach. Easier said than done but very very important to internalize. He's taking this and he's saying let's read it this way. It's not only I place Hashem before me. It's deeper. When Hashem is ly when Hashem is always in my presence inside of me and around me then shi there's an e sense of equinimity there's a composure there's a calmness there's a steady serenity tranquility and delight and bliss and pleasure and love that stays in the person the person is connected to that and the reason for that is because despite the fact that life can be so uh turbulent and things fluctuate and the beginning of the day, the middle of the day, the end of the day, I may not even expect what's coming. Things are not always steady and consistent despite the fact that my heart itself moves in so many different directions and receives so much different stimuli and responds to so many different it can have so many potentially paradoxical reactions. We all understand this in our own lives. It's literally like the ocean. However, the BMP says when Hashem is summit, I could remain in a place of shi. What is he really talking about? He's talking about what we often talk about being in flow. Being in flow means I'm not attached to outcomes. Now, I know what I'm going to say now is easier to lecture about than to actually internalize in our life. But this is not something that is beyond us. And it's like, wow, I'm not on this level. Even if we have this a few minutes a day, it's very powerful. What does it mean to be in flow? What is he really describing here emotionally? What does it mean? It means first of all, I have to give myself the gift of letting go of the need to control. Now, that's a big one, right? Especially as Jewish mothers and women, if we're not going to hold up the world, who is going to hold up the world? Oh, who's going to hold up the world? Trump. He thinks so, right? At least he thinks so. Yeah. Dr. Tski from Pittsburgh. You remember Yeshua Heshelki. Dr. Shiaki is a colonel of the psychiatrist. So he once shared a story that he when he was going he went to med school and then he was in residency. He opened up the first clinic for alcohol alcohol alcoholism recovery in Pittsburgh in the 1960s. So he told a story once that uh he was in the hospital in his early days of residency. It's a psychiatric ward of a hospital in Pittsburgh. And there was a young Jewish man over there and he had his hands up all day. He would not let his arms come down. He was standing as I all day. And nothing the psychiatrist doctors tried can help. And they were desperate. Desperate cuz this poor man, he was literally like this for days on end until he would drop from exhaustion and fall asleep and then he would wake up and go back there. So Dr. First he came in he was and he was a very smart man. So he comes over to this young man and he whispers something in his ear. He whispers something and 5 seconds later his hands come down. The doctors are like it's a miracle. It's a miracle. Said it's not a m what did you do? They tried to medicate him. They tried to scream at him. They tried to explain to him. Said you're don't know what you're doing. He said what did you I said I went over to him and I told him for a few minutes I'm going to hold up the world. I'm going to hold up the world for the next few minutes you can go down. I picked up my hands right Mosha lifted up his hands. Amalik was defeated when he put down his hands. Amal govern Amalik. He understood right. So in his case it came out in a physical way. But how many voices inside letting go is very very deep because letting go means letting go. There's a voice inside that says if I let go chaos the whole family god forbid could disintegrate. The whole myy could go down the drain. The whole universe may end. Really it looks like holiness but it's really an ego thing. It's a it's a trauma or ego thing. We're It's almost like I'm substituting the creator. I told somebody the other day they were very worried about something, very anxious about something. So I told them, I want you to what are you anxious about? They said four these four things have to happen today and it's very very overwhelming. You know sometimes four things can be very overwhelming. One thing can be very overwhelming. So I said I just want you to meditate on this. You have in your body 60 trillion cells. Not million, not billion, trillion. I don't know if anybody ever counted 60 trillion numbers, but you could try and come back next and you'll be halfway through each cell. You could start now. It'll keep you busy for a year. Maybe you won't have to worry about other things. The numbers are minds. We don't know what even 60 million. We don't know what 60 million is. Barely people can count to 60,000 but 60 trillion is beyond we use a number it looks cute and we have that number of cells some say 70 trillion 50 trillion now each cell is very complex the infrastructure of one cell is more complex than the infrastructure to run New York London Paris Sydney Moscow and even Tel a Viv alto together and Los Angeles more complex one cell and here the 60 trillion cells each one with a different functionality And if they decide to be lazy a little bit or to deviate, we're kaput. And each one has a different function, a different and nobody even knows this. And who runs it? The creator. So I said, now there's three things that you have to do today. Okay? There's 60 trillion things that are happening this you don't even know about. God says there's three things I want you to be a partner. Okay? So show up. Relax. Show up. That's what shi is. Shi means I don't have to take responsibility for outcome. I don't have to take responsibility for what it looks like right now. What is my job? Go into flow. What does it mean go into flow? Realize that I am essentially just a channel. This teaching helped me personally with my classes a lot because I come from a family with a very uh like many Jewish families very uh intense work ethic. You know you work hard you work hard and I also worked hard I still work hard from time to time I try less I try more shi but it's ingrained you work hard and when I was I gave classes for many years and and lectures around the world I always wanted it to be perfect now the pressure to make a class perfect is beyond because my standards are high A and B there's no such a thing as perfection in this world so the the the desire for perfection is a desire for constant disappointment always disappointment. What do they say? Right? Perfection is the enemy of progress. The med says, "If you want something to be good, that means you're alive. You want something to be perfect, that's death. That's the Malik perfect." And therefore, when I would finish a class for three days, I was beating myself up. I said this wrong, I said that wrong. This was wrong, this wrong, whatever. And it's it's just impossible what the BMP is teaching. And what I try I'm still working on it. What I try to do is shi means it's it's like we spoke once you know why we blow on remember tells you tells you I want you to lift up your voice like a shifer. Why like a shifer? What's the idea of a chaer? It's very different than other instruments. You have a piano, you have a guitar, you have a cello, you have violin, you have flute. They're beautiful, beautiful instruments. You have the flutes, the pameas, the guitars. What's the uniqueness of a scher? A shifer, the scher does not produce the music. Who produces the music? The person blowing the shaer. D. So what's the shyer? So just blow. When it goes through the cha, it comes out in a different way. There's a different flavor. There's a different ingredient. You take the ram's horn, but if you just start blowing it, nothing is going to come out because it's not hollow. So you have to hollow out what's called the mar the >> the marrow inside the and it becomes hollow and when it's completely hollow now you put it by your mouth and you blow d and on the other side comes out a resonant voice that is rich if the person knows how to blow. So, Hashem tells when you communicate your not communicating. Let me communicate. Just hollow out your ego and be present. Be present and allow me to blow the ear through you. And when it comes through you, it's going to assume the beautiful manifestation of light that I want you to produce to not to channel, not to produce, to channel in the world. And then I realized that's our job. That's my job. I just want to be a channel with the resources I have right now with the I have right now. Tomorrow you'll give me other resources. I'll probably figure out new things. If not not the pressure that that took away was life-changing. It's not it's easy to do it intellectually, emotionally, it's hard because the nervous system is like what are they going to say? What are they going to think? Da da da da da da. That's all taking the person back into stay soft, stay small, safe and in control. If I want to be in control, I stay small and safe. Creativity comes from the word creation. Creativity comes from channeling the creator. There's only one source of creativity, the one who created B. Creativity means when I'm a shyer, the more I hollow out my system, the more I empty it out from the need to control, including including from the need to say how insecure I am because insecurity is sometimes the greatest form of ego. Right? There's ego that I'm better than people and there's another ego. I'm worse than everybody. That's also ego. The common dener in both is I'm detached. I have to protect myself. I have to be in control either by being arrogant or by being you know Mr. or Mrs. humble to the point where I have nothing to say. I have nothing to fear. I amount to nothing. I don't count. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. So, the idea of shi here is the ability to be able to say, God, you know what? It's really, it's really the profound idea that Hashem really wants to experience the world through me. It's his experience and I just show up. You want to use me as a shaifer? Amazing. In fact, the less I put in my own internal fears and thoughts, the more beautiful and amazing the sound is going to be because it's the sound of infinity. So, shi doesn't mean like some people think I close down and I'm a robot and I say God do whatever you want. I don't care. I'm just a schmata step on me. That's the opposite. That's another way of defending myself through cynicism and through despair. Shi is really staying with an open heart and realizing I can be in flow. So literally I'm in flow of reality. The reality is hashem anoid mulvad and I'm a channel right now and that flow may come in so many different ways cuz it's a flow and that flow means I'm just showing up here with an open heart to channel that. Now it's hard in actual life because there's so many different expectations and so many different responsibilities and duties. So it's very nice. You're in flow. Thank you. Some people call it out for lunch, out for breakfast, out for dinner. And some people will even see this as emotional disassociation or emotional disconnection cuz shi when somebody feels nothing, it's like shi it's like a dead body. But this is the opposite. Emotional disassociation is a very deep wound. It's the fear of facing life. It's the fear of being present. I'm not going to jump into the ocean because I'm frightened of the ocean. So, I'm going to always stay in swimming pools or I'm going to build a dock or I'm going to build There's a very good book that men should read. My wife gave it to me actually. It's called The Way of a Superior Man. It's a very, very interesting book because he's not PC. It's from the only books about men and women that are not politically correct. And to have a book in America that's not politically correct the 21st century is a big miracle. So he says over there, one of the biggest mistakes men make is they try to calm down their wives. They try to analyze their wives and tell her that she's overreacting and she's too emotional and uh or they themselves run away. So he says, I quote, "Is your wife is the ocean." Don't start changing the ocean. Jump in jump into the ocean without fear. That's what she needs. Jump into the ocean and say, "I'm here. I'm a pillar. I'm a duck. I'm an island, but don't start changing the ocean. Shivi doesn't mean I'm afraid of life and therefore I just shut down and everything is equal. Yeah. You know when we see in the hospital that line in the heart, we know what that means, right? That's not the shi that was talking about. That's the huh >> flat line. >> The flat line. Yeah. The straight line, so to speak. But this is the opposite. That could come from a place of I'm not alive. So yeah, everything is the same. No difference. Of course, you could insult me. You could praise me. I could be here. I could be there. food to be good about I'm dead is coming from a place of very deep present I am so present with an open divine heart that I'm just like a channel so it's like I'm Hashem in the world God I wake up in the morning and I say thank you for giving me back my soul which is really your soul and trusting me to be your channel today and let's go I'm fastening my seat belt he emotionally energetically that liberates me from outcomes. So now today this is my mission. Tomorrow this is my mission. Right now the next hour this is how I'm asked to show up. In another hour I'm asked to show up in a different way. I don't attach the value and joy of my life based on anybody's response based on the outcome of what I think it has to look like. There's a shi because I'm in that state of full full presence. Why does because so many systems inside of us can eclipse this and can hijack this and can even tell us that this is very irresponsible way of living. The truth is it's not an irresponsible way. It's a very responsible way of living because actually you get much more done this way with much more presence because it's not about I did this, I did this, I did this and I'm in control. It's about really being open to where Hashem wants me to show up right now with the resources I have and without the need to second guessess and imagine what if and therefore get crazy, frustrated or angry at anything else. Now, what if I make mistakes? So, I just blame God on that. He says, "No, regret it. Learn your lesson. Show up to do what you have to do and then come back into flow." I went out of flow. Okay, I went out of flow. Fine. I lost the plot for 10 minutes, for an hour, for a day. I ate what I shouldn't eat. I texted what I shouldn't text. It happens. I said what I shouldn't have said. I did something hurtful to myself or to others. I was I need help with impulse control. I lost it. Okay, I got it. Fine. So, so now for the rest of my life, I'm going to be busy saying, "You see a loser? You see you went to a class and you did nothing of Rabbi Wa said. Wow, you are a real disappointment. And it's al and it's two weeks before Rashana. You know what? I'm done with you forever. This is what you're telling yourself, right? What just happened? What just happened is I completely cannot really see the internal love in myself. I cannot really see that God wants me as a channel. It's almost like the more shameful I am, the more I'll be able to show up. And this is really comes from not trusting. You know when we don't really trust our own inner goodness and vitality. So we must uh shape put our we must beat ourselves into shape through negative words. But that's not the case. People grow and change much much more when they can actually let go of that negative energy. So this is a summation of at least some points of how shisi applies to our life. I'm in flow. I'm not a robot. Hashem is experiencing the world through me. My job is he wants me because that's why I'm here. He could do it himself, but he wants it to come through me. So, as I told that woman, the three four things he wants you to do today, he's doing 60 trillion. He asked you to be a partner with him for two, three things. It's fine. Just relax. Just do it with serenity. but but but my life is falling apart. Every statement over there needs to be revisited. It's not my life. It's your life. I'm a channel for that life. You know exactly what you're doing. All I want to be here is be really present for this flow. When this happens, a person is in a state of shi. Nothing gets to them in a way that they're killed, that they're destroyed. This doesn't mean I don't feel pain. Pain is part of the flow. Pain is part of being in the ocean. The ocean goes in many directions and the waves go up and the waves go down. But pain, because the heart doesn't close down here. If the heart closes down, I'm not a channel anymore. I'm just closed. The heart stays open and I can experience whatever I'm experiencing, but with an open heart. I don't have to run. In English, there are two words that have become famous in recent years, two ways of living. One is known as a life of presence. The other one is a life that focuses on process. Do you live a life focused on presence? Do you live a life focus on process? For those who like Hebrew, process versus presence. What's the difference? Process means there's a process. I'm here now, but my goal is to be there tomorrow and somewhere else the next day and somewhere else in a week, a month, a year, maybe 10 years, 20 years. That's process. Process means I'm not there right now. It's a process. I'm not losing 40 lbs today or tomorrow. It's a process. Everything is a process. You don't build a company or a business today. in your mind you could but things are a process that's how it is that's the nature of life I don't build a family in one day we all understand that Rome wasn't built in one day as they say things are a process internally and externally another mode of life is presence presence means right here right now it focuses not on the future not on what's going to be but on this experience right now right here and here I want to go to another safer another foundational book in the world ofidis from the balata and this is a safer known as Tanya written by the alterb of who the bamb was the founder of in general alterb is known as the founder of the kabad branch of as his colleagues the other students of the mag found the different branches and he wrote his magnum opus called Tanya which was published only 5 years after Tavas reash in 1796 and take a look at his opening page and you'll see a focus not on presence but on process if you take a look in your next source dash this is the title page of Tanya written by the balata this is the book of the benm literally means the inbetweeners who makes a book for inbetweeners. You ever heard of such a book? The book for inbetweeners. Who wants to be in between? What between par between? It's like par. Either get milk, it could get flesh. Par is only for the cowards. Just joking. You can eat pariff. You know people who always eat par in case there's going to be good ice cream, but there might be good meat. So I'm always eating par because I never want to get milk or flesh because who knows how much pleasure of life will I be deprived from if I make myself milk or yeah everybody relates to this somehow. I don't know why but okay >> huh yeah you're very good. So in food it works. You could stay power of your whole life. It's called being a good vegan and never get milks and never get fleshiks. Don't touch. Okay. Also cut out eggs if you're a real vegan, but certainly no milk, certainly no fleshik. Just stick with the kale and the spinach and things will be looking very good on many levels. Shine and your pariff. So if a good vanilla ice cream, the soft the soft type that last time you only had in your on that corner shows up by your doorstep in Muny, you'll be able to eat it immediately. Okay. But in life in life to make a life out of being parv like they once said there was a Israeli prime minister who never liked to take a position. So they once asked him do you like better tea or coffee and he was stuck. So he said half coffee and half tea right when it comes to life what safer and bayon means an intermediary in between but that's the name of the and it's very interesting it's not compiled from books and scribes the holy ones their soul is in need this book is based on next week's says that is not over it's not across the sea it's not it's not in heaven it's close to you it's relevant to you it's accessible to you for your mouth for your heart for your performance the function of this of explain how can you say that it's in the long short path with the help of this title page of the how he's describing his what his function is he says there's a problem says is it really is intuitively we're physical people we're corporal people an ice cream I relate I understand if there's a mitzvah We can at least I don't know if refers to it but okay really love Hashem life is tough there's pain in life there's anguish in life there's there's a lot of fear in life there's anxiety in life there's an internal struggle and turmoil internal external love Hashem with all your heart with all your soul live with that a hashem and a and that it's like right there. It's right here. It's a lifelong it seems like a a long long battle and very very difficult. So I'm writing a safer and I know it's not simple but a long short path. What? One second. Well, you back with either it's long or it's short. What's this? We're going on a long hike. on a short hike. You know, there's the 6-hour hikes and then there's the 25minut hikes. We're going to go on a long and a short. Which one is it? We need Hashem's help for all of this, obviously. But here we are literally opening ourselves up to the difference of presence and process. Presence is everything is right here, right now. It's not only close to you, it's here. You don't have a destination to reach. You know why? Where you are is your destination. In fact, that's what Shivi really means. Shivi means as Hashem as says this is it. You can't get any better. Once had a teacher who said based on the shi something so beautiful. He said what the BMP was teaching is that the most interesting person you'll ever be talking to in your life is the person you're talking to right now. The most fascinating place you'll ever be in is the place you're in right now. And the most interesting moment you will ever experience in your life is this moment. And if not, don't think another moment, another place, another person will do the trick. What does Hashem tell Mosha right when he meets him the first time at the bush? Mosha says, "Let me go. Let me go see this fire. I got to see it." And what does he say? The focus is not so much like people think don't come here. The focus is stay where you are cuz the place you're standing is holy soil. And if you're not going to see that, where are you going to see it? When somebody says, you know, tomorrow life becomes good. when we move, when we buy the h when when when the truth is it's always nice to have new experiences and go to new places. But if that becomes the barometer and the condition for my happiness, it's usually not going to work. If I cannot find the happiness here, I'm not going to be able to find it there because it's an internal voice. I may be in front of the most beautiful ocean and it's nice and I may be in the most exquisite landscape but if internally there is a unresolved wounds and we know what that means nothing is going to help it can help for 10 minutes no question it's maybe help for an hour it's good as a distraction and sometimes a very very beautiful and healthy and nice distraction but the real work happens here and if I do that here then I can appreciate what is here now and what will be there tomorrow. So therefore it's that's called presence. And that's why the is the one who said that Hashem recreates the world every moment. What does that mean? That means there's only one moment to live with. It's called now presence which is a present. Which is why it's called presence. The moment I can experience this is the present. There's never going to be a greater present than this. Then I don't want to be anything but present to the present. Pun intended. Are you experiencing the present in the presence? Okay. But they're like, "Well, you're crazy. What are we becoming Buddhist meditators on Mount Everest? Like somebody got to run this house." The cleaning lady didn't show up. Rashana is coming. Do you know how many guests I have for Sukus? Shivi. Sure. No trolling, no chicken, no fish, no soup. My wife says, my husband says, "Where's the food?" Shivi, no food for sukus. No food, right? How did I know everybody's going to relate to this question? Almost everybody. You see how far I've gone? My wife has trained me well. I even understand this question. You see, not all men even understand this question. Oh, I thought the food just comes down through the suka. Oh, you cooked it. Okay, interesting. Oh, but I paid for it. It's fine. I did my job. They once as the holy, why do Jews like coffee? So some people say, we want to wake up in the morning, you need that caffeine, whatever it is. But what did the badich say? Badich was also a student of the magto. So it's all from the school of the bos and he said drink he said in in in in Yiddish kava is coffee kava. So he said a Jew drinks coffee what is he really doing? >> He's taking before that he's taking bitter coffee beans and he's mixing it with sweet sugar or splendor. There was no splendor at the time. Okay. And he puts hot water and cold milk. And this is the preparation for the day. There's going to be some bitter coffee beans. There's going to be some sweet sugar. Sometimes you're going to be in hot water. And sometimes you're going to be in cold milk. And he takes it all and he puts it together. And he says everything came into existence through his word. And he drinks the with with hope cave is the end of hope to God. So that's why they like coffee. So really what he was seeing in this is presence. Presence means the this is the destination. This will always be tomorrow maybe there'll be another destination but I'm never on a journey. I'm always on a destination. It's a very very deep space to be because I have to let go of any egoic need. It's the egoic mind that says, "No, no, of course there's destinations. Of course there's goals. I want to build a business. I want to make money. I want to support my family. I want these goals in my life, in my career, in my marriage, whatever it is, in my diet, in my weight, in my physical, emotional, spiritual life. Shi is not an invitation to be a couch potato, but it's an invitation to let go of control and show up." The Tanya is saying, "No, this is far. It's how do we make it That's process. Process is very much about these are the goals. It's like when you're going to take a a course in something. Yeah. There's class one, there's class two. There's an ultimate goal and that's how people live their entire lives. And it's considered a healthy way of living process. It's always a process. It's always a journey. And there's another leg in the journey and another leg in the journey. Another leg in the journey. So you could say it's two different approaches to Judaism. One is very much presence. one is very much focused on process but the truth is it's much much deeper than that. What the alterba was really trying to do was it was trying to make the BMPv's idea livable in daily life because very beautiful lofty ideas have the danger of remaining beautiful and lofty up here and there's moments moments moments when we attach ourselves to it but then when push comes to shove or as they say in English when spaghetti hits the fan you could take your shissi and throw it into the ocean and to the Hudson River or you could choose the Pacific or the Indian and the Atlantic and it all goes down the drain and it's very nice and lofty and romantic and poetic, right? If I'm sitting alone on a mountain without any issues, without any attachments, but if you want to be a real person and a responsible person and you have a heart and and these are the circumstances of my life and let me tell you how I grew up and let me tell you who I'm married to and let me tell you what what's happening in my family and let me tell you what's happening in my bank account and let me tell you what's happening with this and that that this shi doesn't seem to really be working unless we go into a place of escape. rapism and avoidance which people do as another way of coping. So it's not shi, it's just really locking myself off, blocking myself off and not really touching anything so I could be in this, you know, rosy dandy sweet place where like I'm just flying high, you know? Ah, you put something in your coffee and you start floating and I'm just this floater. We're not going to get into the details graphically, but I could just float through life and yeah, everything is perfect and impeccable and flawless. Of course, the house is falling apart. Of course, the kids are falling apart, but life is perfect. And that comes also from very deep pain because I'm not really present. I'm not showing up. And in order to appreciate this, let's see what the words mean. A long short path. What does that mean? Either it's long or it's short. uses these words based on a story in the gor and if you take a look at the story it's your next source it's the fourth source from the bottom you have it in the Hebrew and in the English it's an amazing story track said one of the greatest Talmudic sages the garra says he was the greatest Jewish debater against the gentiles he was a ley he sung in the second basikt he was there at this destruction of the second basikt And he said, "Nobody ever won me in a debate." He was a brilliant, brilliant man. He says, "Besides, of course, a woman, a child, a male child, a baby boy, and a baby girl, a Tinois. Three people have defeated me in my life. An Isha, a Tino, and a Tikis." And he goes through and he goes through the three experiences. And then he comes to the Tino. How did a little boy defeat him? And he says, "Once I was traveling, I was traveling on the road. I came to a crossroads and I see a little boy and I said, "I need to get to the city. How do I get here? I don't know. Do I go this way? Do I go that way?" The boy tells me, "Well, you have two paths. This path is short and long, and this path is long and short." So he liked the sound of short, right? You heard the first word was short and long. So he took the short and long. What happens? I took the short long path. Very soon I came to the city. I found the city is surrounded by gardens and orchards and I could not get into the city because it was blocked. So it was a short path. I was there but I couldn't get in. I could see it, but I couldn't get in. So, I went back and he goes to the child and he says, "Why'd you tell me it's a short path?" He said, "I also told you it's a long path. I told you it's short and long. It's short, but it's long. What about this path? I told you it's long and short." And he went on the second path and it was very, very long. It was long and it was winding and it was difficult. But when he came there, he was in. It was open. So the alterb says I want to explain to you how this is it's not two different path it's the same path that is long and short and for this you have to understand what safer means so for those of you who go to my uh wife's uh amazing brilliant profound extraordinary Tanya class which is much better than my classes by the way because it's the ocean itself and where I get much of my wisdom from my dear wife. So you know that the basis of Tanya is really the idea that we don't operate on one level of consciousness. We don't have one soul we have two souls and every soul has so many parts. What today they call in psychology parts work is really a major major theme in the Tanya from the 1700s that people are not made up of just one part. We have different states of consciousness and we're constantly alter alternating. The basic structure is we have an effus which is an animal consciousness and we have an effic which is a divine consciousness. The animal consciousness is not just a small little battery. It's really a soul that takes responsibility for the entire life of the body for our organism. It's responsible for all of the biological systems. your circul your circulatory system, your respiratory system, your digestive system, your urinary system. All of the systems in our 60 trillion cells are governed by this nephesh, by this consciousness. And the function of this soul that God creates is one function to keep you alive, to keep you safe, and to keep you as comfortable as possible away from pain. And the way the nephah develops is this is my calling. I need to keep this person alive, safe and as comfortable as possible because of that soul and that is its responsibility. It will do and it's so brilliant. It will develop any personality trait that it sees will be the best chances for you to survive, be comfortable and be safe. So imagine when does it start figuring this out? In the womb of your mother. In the womb of our mothers. And then in the first weeks, months, years of life, the nephew Bahamas has these detectors, these br this brilliant brain, it's two pounds, but it's brilliant. And it takes in every experience of life. Everything your mother says, your father says, your brother says, your sister, every element in the environment, everything that's going on, it sees, it hears, it smells, it senses, and then it makes decisions. In this world, this is the best way to be in order to live, be safe, and survive. And all of our instincts, personality traits, or a lot of them, not all, personality traits, ways of looking at the world, belief systems, drives, emotions, inclinations, responses, triggers are based on the animal soul adopting and adjusting and saying, "This is what's going to allow you to be safe. in control, comfortable, and hopefully alive. And it's brilliant. >> Only nurture, >> huh? >> So, it's full nurture. >> No. Oh, so it's based on its genetic makeup. It only could work with its genes. So, it's nurture and nature together and constantly constantly vigilant of how nature and nurture must interact. So, for example, your animal soul will very early on figure out your mother's weak spots, your father's weak spots. Somebody sent me a line the other day. Um, of course my mother knows how to push my buttons. She installed them. My mother's probably listening. I love you. All of our mothers installed amazing buttons, right? Some the types of buttons, other types of buttons, milk, flesh, par, whatever. So the neph figures this figures out your father's soft spots. It figures out what's going to make this home normal for you and not normal for you. And we don't even know this cuz we're like 3 weeks old, but the Nepha Bahamas is not 3 weeks old. The Bahamas are like 5,000 years old. Brilliant. It's brilliant. Some people become quintessential people's pleasers. I know if I'm going to be a people's pleaser, I know exactly how to please everybody in the audience. You're going to like me. And if you like me, I'm going to feel good about myself. And that's a way of being safe in this world. And so we become very aggressive. Some people shut down emotionally. That's a tremendous successful coping mechanism. If I shut down emotionally, you're not going to get to me. I'm not going to have pain. I'll be fine. I'll become brainy. And when you're brainy, you could control things intellectually. You control things intellectually, nobody hurts you anymore. You figure it out. You're not vulnerable. Some people become great lawyers, dramatists. They have to exaggerate life for whatever reason. They need to impress people. They need to impress themselves. But we go into different stories and belief systems. Everyone, all of the what we call mid what we call negative qualities. They're not necessarily negative. They are coping mechanisms of the animal consciousness to keep you safe and alive. Some people have social anxiety. It's a tremendous way of living. If I walk into an audience and there's social anxiety, I'm going to behave. If I believe that I'm stupid and whatever comes out of my mouth could be perceived as stupid, social anxiety is the best thing in the world. Anxious. Anxious. Anxious. Don't say a word. Get out fast as possible. Get out your phone. Get out your phone now. Make believe you're busy. Make believe you're on a call. People go to extremes. And we shouldn't judge this because the animal soul really believes this is essential for survival. If I'm going to be honest and authentic, who knows what's going to come out? And then when we go into a marriage, everybody brings all their coping mechanisms into the marriage. That's where marriage becomes fun. Cuz now you're not only dealing with your coping mechanisms, you're dealing with your husband's coping mechanisms. Oh, and this is where the becomes perfect that you're making each other miserable. And how my wife once told me, "How do you know you married your bash?" She said, "You see that when your spouse triggers you more than any other person in the world, it means this is God's sense of humor. Making sure that this is exactly your person. Why does your wife or your husband trigger you more than anybody in the world?" You know why? Because God brought them into your life so that they should be able to serve as mirrors to see what I had to become in order to survive. And either my wife will help me crack open and become the person I'm capable of becoming, or I will dig more into my coping mechanisms, detach more, become more upset and angry, and then hopefully there'll be another chance with my children, cracking me open. That's another opportunity, right? So you we were born three times. You're born when you're born, and then when you get married, you're born again, and you could redo it. And then if you still didn't get the message, when you have children, you're born again and you can redo it. And then if we're not born again at that point, >> uh, yeah, they become teenagers, right? Very good. They become teenagers and then and then either you crack open or you jump over the bridge. Just joking, but you get the point. And uh, the key the key here is I could look at it from a perspective of curse and negativity. my mo coping mechanisms are not enough now I need my husbands and the bump will come and say shi so what's happening here the animal consciousness is doing its job and it does its job amazingly now I'm just going to say this in parenthesis I don't want to elaborate on this if somebody was in a situation where they were actively abused in other words it's not just coping mechanisms from dysfunction that all people have because we live we live in gulos and the life Life can be dark but if there's special dysfunction because of unique situations here the coping mechanisms could be dramatized in ways that other people would not even understand how deep it is because to for them to protect themselves they have to go into places of inner shame or guilt or hate or self- disgust or body self-loathing to the point where there's people that the pain is so deep that the animal cell animal soul says the only coping mechanism for you is to kill yourself cuz that's a better solution than everything else. Now people who didn't go through these things don't understand why even if I'm having pain deal with it but those who know know those who don't know thank god they don't know but those who know know that there's people who reach a situation where they didn't get that support unfortunately and I don't know God's plans but the fact is that life is so painful that the only alternative is I give up I quit. The easiest thing to do and also the saddest thing to do is to blame my wife for my coping mechanisms. We always do that. It's very normal. I don't want to go there. There's a reason I'm coping this way. So if I could say if my wife would be XYZ, I'll be happy. If my husband will be XYZ, I'll be happy. If my kid will be normal and shape up and do well in yeshiva, not get thrown out from the 11th school, I'll be calm. The truth is, I hate to break it to you, it's not doesn't work that way. It's not true. Shivi means that the presence of God is right here, right now. And even if it's painful, I always need to be able to look inward and say, "How do I go to my divine soul, not only my animal soul?" It doesn't mean my wife or my husband or my child don't need to heal. That's not what we're saying. What we're saying is I will not be able to help myself by putting my life on another person because it just doesn't work that way. On the contrary, when you will actually find your own relationship with Hashem inside, it will actually help the other person go through their process because they'll be able to feel more regulated and safe around you. Now, this is deep work. So, the whole Tanya is coming to teach a person how do you navigate between these two souls? One soul is an animal soul. One soul is divine. What does it mean? that's divine. It doesn't have coping mechanisms. It has God's mechanisms. God doesn't have to cope. He's pretty confident. He created the world. He's good. This divine soul has infinite bliss, infinite love, infinite wisdom, infinite equinimity, and infinite confidence because it doesn't have an ego. It's just a channel. It's a chaer. If you speak to the divine soul, the divine soul says, "I'm a channel. I'm in the most amazing place there is. I'm just a channel. The animal soul is channel. Channel. Protect yourself. You're going to get a punch in your nose. Don't be no channel here. Okay? You protect yourself. You stand up for your rights. The divine soul doesn't have a problem standing up for its rights. But it's from a very regulated space. It's very very regulated. It's always open. It's not afraid. It's not afraid. The challenges in life I sometimes don't know about my divine soul. So the whole Tanya is really a book about learning about these two souls and how even when my animal soul is hyperactive I could relax it regulate it and help it tune into the divine soul's openness that's why it's called safer that sadic is the person who transforms both souls the Russia which means the weak person not the wicked person is the person who goes down the rabbit hole of my animal consciousness, fear, dread, anxiety, overwhelm, hate, resentment, self-gil, self-lame. The bane in me is in between that's what it means to be really present. I have moments that are not shi. That's why we call it the long short path. A long path, a short long path would mean you sing a beautiful song, somebody tells a beautiful story, everybody cries, you take out your tissue, you feel inspired, the problem is you go home, somebody sends you a text, and you're triggered. What just happened? An hour ago, you were crying as they were singing that song. The answer is that was an hour ago. But now this person triggered me. So the short long path could be very disappointing. The long short path is very different. It's a long path because you have to really work through your stuff. You cannot escape it. But when you come to the city, it's open. It's free. It's real. So is it presence or process? Presence or process? >> So So let let's let's understand because here is where it really it really without Reb wanted to really clinch it for us. And by the way this whole explanation is based on a fra of the labbell 1982 where he was discussing the bal and the balat and the interplay I just wanted to give the source. So it's as follows. It works two. There's this there's now we come to the to the to the final point and then it bring comes together. There's presence and process. Presence is this is it. You're not going to get a better moment. Process means no there's a process. I have to work through things. They seem to be very different and contradictory. However, there's another way of looking at it. One is I could say presence is a contradiction to process because in presence it means there's no more perfect moment. We all understand the challenge in that. The challenge in that is it's not a perfect moment. I am stressed. Should I make believe I'm not stressed? I'm afraid. Should I make believe I'm not afraid? I'm feeling weak. I'm feeling anxiety. I'm feeling angry. Should I make believe I'm not? What should I do? The worst thing people do to themselves is they guilt themselves into feeling in a way that they're not feeling. You ever do that? You idiot. Shi boom. And your kids are the victims of that. It's passive aggressive. Passive aggressive. Any emotion that's forced becomes a disaster cuz it's not real. My heart is tortured from it. It's just going to come out in dysfunctional ways. I'm basically going to eat more today. Everything comes out in different ways when it's not genuine. So it's very nice. But we could look at it in two ways. One is I go into process because I'm not there in order to achieve a destination. But there's a very different way of it. I go into process not to achieve my goal. I go into process not to get somewhere that I would like to get to when I work through all my traumas. I go into process in order to reveal where I always was. I go through the process not to achieve a new goal that I don't have cuz right now I'm a loser. I go through the process in order to be able to reveal where I always was. I was just never aware of it. And that's where the shi and the are not only not contradictory but they're completely one. Because one way of looking at a hashem is I am so so filled with issues and who's not I'm talking about myself not about anybody else. I have these issues and I have these insecurities and this happened yesterday. This happened a week ago and everybody you'll make your own list. I'm not going to go there at the moment. That's one way of looking at it. And let me start climbing the mountain. The problem is the mountain is Mount Everest and Mount Everest is 32,000 ft. Do you know that 32,000 ft and change? Now, I'm a slim fit guy, but I can't climb 32,000 ft. So, we'll start and start and start and start and maybe I'll achieve something. But then, you know that story about the man who's climbing the mountain for 20 years and he finally makes it to the top and who does he see? He sees a child. This child is meeting that type of child. He says, "You, I'm muscular. I'm mighty. I trained my whole life. I have gear you. He says, "Sir, I was born here. I was born here." If I have to acquire it, it's a contradiction with presence. Means you were born here. You're you are one with God. However, there's blockages. That's where the animal soul kipa comes in. So the process is not to achieve a goal that I'm not present at and maybe I'll achieve 1% 2% 10% 30% if I kill myself 50%. And always frustrated about the distance between me and Hashem. It's exact opposite. The foundation the paradigm is you are as perfect as you will ever be. You were born on the mountain means if you're the flow of Hashem, you can't get more perfect. You are glorious. You are holy. You are sacred. You are divine. You are kadesh kadasha. However, I know what do you mean I'm not. I have all these issues. I have layers and layers and layers. And that's where process comes in. say we want to go through a path where we can really be honest about all of the coping mechanisms so that we can experience them. We can have compassion for them. We can understand what is happening and we can help them regulate themselves and shift back to our core which is the divine soul. So the shi is the foundation its full presence. The of the is not undermining that. It's rather helping you reveal that shi in everyday life in everyday context in everyday relationships in the text that I'm getting at work when I need a cook when I'm having stress when there are a lot of things to do I'm not in that nebulous heavenly celestial abstract state there's a but when you know the foundation is you're not trying to achieve holiness you're not trying to tell God I'll be a good girl next year. No, you're as good as you will ever be. You're not just good, you're infinitely good. However, I want to be able to experience that goodness on every strata. That's the word strata, right? >> Stratalay, >> every layer of self, even the outer layers and even the layers where there is rupture to be able to bring the shi into rupture. That's the process of working through my stuff. So I don't get stuck in the process because the process is not here to create from a loser a winner to create from a blemished wounded soul somebody who's somewhat healthy and full. The process is to reveal where you always was where you always were. And that's really the truth of a hashem. When we go through these processes, there comes a moment of revelation. You say, "Oh, I was always here. I always knew this." The greatest moments of enlightenment and clarity is I always knew this. Oh, obviously. Duh. It's like, oh, whoa, you get to meet yourself. Oh, of course I was here. That's that's that's it. And it's all over. All the clippers are gone. That's where it is. Now, now I may not feel it. So, that's what the say it's there. you can anchor yourself. Kamatana says, "Now let's go through the path of how to actually live with that on a daily basis by bringing together the two souls and realizing that the Nepha Bahamas is not ultimately my enemy. It's my opportunity to work through the mechanisms that I developed to be able to bring them on board with a divine soul." So now we come full circle both of how creates a new and back to and with this we finish and here we go. If you take a look you remember the question in the beginning if you take a look at this chapter of you'll see that David is a fugitive take a look you throw to the last source my enemies came to eat my flesh. So this man felt that they want to eat him. I don't have a father. I don't have a mother. Basically, David is in dire danger. He's a fugitive. His own father-in-law wants to kill him. He doesn't feel he has family support. He's running from place to place and he feels that his flesh may be consumed by his enemies. Now, when somebody is in this state, what do they ask for? If they have a minute to pray for, what do they ask for? Usually what people ask for is God just give me a cup of water. God give me a morsel of bread. God let me have a bed for a night or God let me die a natural death. At least just let me die a natural death in my bed. That's usually the request when a person is in such dire straits. David in this chapter which is so filled with terrible terrible predicaments that he has says there's one thing I want to ask. What is he asking for? Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Before shifting, why not a bed? Why not a cup of water? Why not that the sword shouldn't kill you tonight? >> So Rab Abba answers. Rabba answers. >> So Rabba answers in two words. This is the mindset of Malus. He's not saying he's asking to be a king. He wants the power. This request is a mindset of royalty. A king is not just a king when he's in the palace. Royalty means I may be in the opposite condition, but my essence is royal. David Malik knew in those moments I wasn't created just to survive. I was created to manifest royalty in the world. The greatest tragedy that happens to people is survival becomes so much a part of my equation. I start believing I was created to survive and therefore if I survive another day I should get the Nobel Prize. My goal becomes survival. And it's normal because when that's what's at stake, what else is there to ask for? What understood was no, you weren't created to survive. You're you were created for much more than that. Don't let your dreams be stifled. Don't let your creativity be crushed. Don't reduce yourself to a machine that just learns how to adopt and please the world around me not to be in danger. Of course, we have that. Our amygdala is very very alert for danger. And people need that. But don't reduce your entire identity. I am here to please you and you and you and make it through the system. And somebody should say you're a nahas girl. Okay, breathe. Okay, I survived. for greatness you were created. Can you see the malus in you as the paradigm as the foundation that's what David experienced even in that moment? He never allowed those circumstances to define his entire imagination and his soul. He always understood inside of himself who he really is. Think about in your own terms. Everybody has things we have to work through and challenges to overcome and there's pain etc. individually, collectively. It's also true with the Jewish people. Well, he says, "Do you know your real can you see the richness of your soul? Can you feel the richness of your spiritual energy? Can you feel the absolute magnificence of your inner rhythm?" And you're like, "I don't know what you're talking about. What magnificent? What rhythm? What inner rhythm?" But when you look at beautiful mo most think about the most beautiful location you were in the world and you looked at it and you said like wow this is the same God who creates all the havoc also creates this and one of the and the most beautiful thing a person is ever looking at is themselves there's nothing going to be more beautiful the garra says in that there was a sage who met a Jew and he said wow you're so ugly he wanted to wake him up and he said why don't you go to the craftsman who made me and tell How ugly is this vessel that you made? Track day page 20. The first and most basic item of beauty physical and spiritual is the internal self. He never allowed other things or forces to redefine who he is. So he can go into that space of shi even while he had to work through all of these things. So we now come to Elo. When I look at I could look at it in two ways. We all know L is the acronym of which is a verse in the song of songs means I am committed to my beloved is committed to me. The med says the last wherever it says the word it's eternal it's eternal it never moves the is committed to a me that is eternal so I could look at from two paradigms one paradigm is I'm guilty I am blemished I did a lot of things that need fixing in my thoughts my words, my actions, this that internally there's struggles, the circumstances that are difficult and so forth. That's one way of looking at it. And now it's the ander and we're being judged for the new year. So I'm going to try try to make a and resolutions and be a much better girl or boy or man or woman for the next year. That's one way and it's it's it's beautiful. But there's something much deeper and much more beautiful and that is it's two separate things is process is presence means I'm working with an to come close to do means says I'm coming where you are is I'm coming where you are. That's why it's lee. It's eternal. It's unconditional. How do both of these become part of the same word which is here's where the two truths come together and the of the and the based on the of the because what we're saying is of course I want to work on the ani to be able to help the come closer and closer to help bring up my animal consciousness my body my feelings my instincts my thoughts my words my actions my emotions my relationship ships to do but what if I could do it on the basis of doi the anil doi is based on a vision you're not doing any work to go to a place that you never were you're not doing any work to be able to create something new in your life that was non-existent and maybe you'll be able to reach it maybe not maybe a little bit of it but rather you're going to a place to be able to reveal that you were always always there. So whenever my avoid is being ridd rattled with an inner sense of inadequacy and shame I realize it's being hijacked again by the anil. Yes, but make sure it's based on vi God says I'm with you. I'm reaching out to you Lee forever. It's unconditional. I'm in every single moment of your life. I'm in every experience of your life. I see you as the greatest gift that ever was, which is why I created you and you're my child. Like a mother sees a child and that's the foundation of all my work. Now I want to reveal it. I want to be able to live with it. I need to work through my negativity. I need to work through my anxiety. Fine. Only to reveal where I always was. But it's always on the foundation of void. I don't have to break myself because I am a piece of junk that has to be broken. I need to challenge myself to be able to reveal the real person I always was. And just like in a relationship, we all know the most successful and beautiful relationships is when a woman knows that the most important for her husband, the most important important person in his life is his wife. And when a husband knows that the most important person for his wife is him. If it's anything less than that, we all know it's a very painful reality. It's very painful. It's difficult. When a woman can't feel that the first priority, the most important person in her life is her husband from a genuine space, I'm not talking about from a forced space because he's going to get angry. Then it's not that. But when a person can really feel that a husband about a wife and a wife about a husband, that is an when I look at ani who is the most important person that I want to spend time with. And when I look at says all I want is wants Lee. That's all he wants. Think about the safety that that creates in a relationship. When a child when you're a toddler, an infant and you look at your mother, your father or other caregivers and you feel the most important thing for them is to be with me. They don't have another pleasure in the world or at least this is the biggest. Then the child could also open up say when I don't feel that I feel everybody is distracted. I'm just a burden. You know what that does to my coping mechanism? If I'm a burden, I'm unwanted. Nobody's interested in me. Nobody has time for me. Nobody's regulated around me. I'm making everybody anxious. I'm just a burden. So, I grow up with a consciousness. I am a burden to existence. Wow, that's hard. If I'm a burden to existence, it means asking somebody for a favor is a crime against humanity. You know, some people asking somebody to do something for them, some of you relate to this, I'm sure. Asking somebody to do something for them is almost like killing them. Why? What? And they don't realize the other person will actually be happy. They like you. They like you. They would like to spend time with you. But if I feel like I'm a burden on existence for me to ask you something, it's the worst thing in the world. And now it looks good. I don't use anybody. I don't need anybody's favors. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. It's not about using somebody. I hate my I think I'm a burden. Means that in the deepest place, a Jew feels that Hashem's most important, greatest priority is his relationship with me. He wants to spend time with me. How do I know? because I'm here then it could be when a woman and a husband when a wife and a husband have this in a relationship it's a different relationship means because that's the baseline that is the baseline even if I don't understand all the pain in life I don't I will never will I don't have to I don't even I I I appreciate the limits of my intellect I just want to be in flow and that's why the gives a it gives a vitality in to be able to approach the relationship ship from this foundation of impeccable holiness and oneness with Hashem. Have a beautiful inspiring week on a good good Genchar to you and yours. >> Next week there is a classm that's a