The Big Effect Small Habits Have On Raising Children - MUSSAR Pirkei Avot (80)

[Music] the yet arrived early today so uh hopefully he leaves early too uh talk a little few things about the Mish we're up to number 80 uh triy to talk about some more relevant things that could help our day-to-day lives there some things that we could learn from the par uh and also from the mishna uh regarding marriage regarding raising children uh regarding the day-to-day stuff that all of us fight with have difficulties with and uh try to get a little bit of a better understanding uh of uh what is a Jewish life supposed to be like there are there's there's many Jews in the world um and uh unfortunately not everybody knows exactly what it means to be a Jew what it means to to have a Jewish marriage uh it's not just having a party for $200,000 you know it's not just eating kosher food it's not just keeping Shabbat uh it's not just having uh kids as often as AEM allows there's a lot that goes into it uh and uh today this statistics are so bad in the secular World um as far as marriages are concerned that um I think that it's gotten to a point where it's more profitable to have a divorce court than it has a marriage Court uh I think they should they probably have the two next door to each other people get married and say okay you want already fill up the forms for the divorce you know for a few months from now uh so some of the some of the main things that are um the people have as issues are easily fixable uh if people are willing to swallow their pride so do melar Buu Ben mayor shba Sarah Magda Nicole valman Michel valman Emily Vala Patricia mon Montero yarian Garcia Ada Vasquez rubiera Guerrero Melissa norato SAR Ruben Ben Lia Dalia Romero Lindsay Mis J Gana but Vladimir Naomi but Saron Yuda Lee Ben Fila uh Vasquez Leana sah sah lanais David all have so uh like we said the uh amount of problems that I hear about on a daily basis continues to grow unfortunately both both the Jewish and non-jewish world uh is struggling in many cases with the same thing many people are having marriage problems many people are having problems with their children raising their kids what school should we send them to what how should we educate them why should I stay married why should I get married um should I listen to my father that doesn't want me to marry this girl should I listen to my mother who doesn't want me to marry this guy there's these constant issues um that uh it seems like the small decisions in life or at least seemed like small decisions I mean that technically decision is one second small decisions in life make a um impact eternally make an impact for the rest of your life what is it like uh it's like there was one time a guy sitting in a um big giant building for electric company and told listen you're the supervisor throughout the whole night just make sure nobody presses the buttons this button over here controls the electricity for New York this button over here controls the electricity for New Jersey this button over here controls it for you know California and so on and so forth each button is the whole state so the guy you know after a few hours he got a little bored so he had a a couple of drinks and uh thought it was funny to just see what happens if you press the button so he pressed one of the buttons and nothing happened pressed the New York button and nothing happened like ah they're just fooling me just fooling me within five minutes the SWAT team comes in ready to start shooting whoever is in front of them trying to figure out maybe it's a terrorist attack what happened how could it be and I see this guy having a couple of shots having a time of his life he said what happened what what's going on let's see I what happened Oh you mean that button you guys know about that button you fool do you realize what happened the electricity for all of New York has been shut down oh guess I'll turn it on what what do you mean you turn it on do you realize what happened in those five minutes that the electricity was on you know how many people died because of that five minutes the traffic lights didn't work so people got into car accidents the uh hospitals didn't have uh electricity so people died uh surgeries went bad you know countless countless people died because you thought it's not a big deal cuz it's one small button it's one small button one small decision one small joke one small word one small everything you destroyed lives how can you fix it how can you undo it when he shows up to the uh judge they're trying him for all the plagues in the uh you know that happened to uh to Egypt for murder for this for that they're trying him for everything goes wow it was only one small button the judge says one small button look what kind of damage you did with one small button so it seems like the one thing that we think is not such a big deal the one small button is not really such a one small button and this also applies in our life yob a in uh this week's par we talked about a little bit yesterday says that after he left his parents' house he left with a mission in mind didn't tell him listen yob why don't you go away let your brother cool off and why don't you go have a good time with your friends go away to India like some of the Israeli soldiers do they go to India after the Army why don't you go to India have some fun what all there go to Taiwan go to all these different places why don't you go have fun they didn't say that what did they say said yov you're 63 years old you're 63 years old yov you're not uh 18 anymore 63 work learning to everything is good it's time to get married yov it's time to get married go find a nice girl from your mother's uh family so yov honors his parents of course and he leaves but then on the way instead of going directly to lavan's house and fulfilling what his parents said instead of going to lavan's house he goes to the of he goes to the he doesn't go to stop by maybe I'll get some lunch talk a few give a stay there for a couple days and then continue on my journey he doesn't do that he stays there for 14 years years 14 years he goes to Yesa 14 years 14 years he didn't sleep on a bed 14 years so the asked question how could it be thees not listen to his parents how could it be they told him go get married go find a girl how is how what it makes him think that going to learn 14 years worth of Torah is going to help him like what are you doing you're not listening to your parents it's not like you're 18 years old 14 years ah it's just a uh little bit of time 63 or you're a senior citizen already no knew that 63 years he learned T was one level of Tor but in order to survive not only lean's house but also to be a husband he needed to learn a different level of Torah he needed to work on something he's never worked on before and he needed to go prepare himself for marriage which means that the 14 years of Yeshiva was part of finding a wife was preparing himself was one of the one of the preparations of getting married in today's world people get married for all the wrong reasons they get married for money because everyone wants a free ride is we're talking before this year started everyone wants somebody to take care of them like they're all crippled and they're all blind and they're all deaf and they're all incapable no no I need somebody to take care of me when I'm old who knows if you're going to survive to be old why you getting married now forget about when you're old and Dusty fine now why you getting married now you're 25 years old why you getting married you're 30 years old why you getting married now forget about 50 years from now who knows if you're going to see 50 years everybody's convinced they're going to lift 120 why are you getting married now to this person oh he's nice about what what is he nice about oh he takes me places okay so if he didn't take you to places he wouldn't be nice oh he's funny oh so so if maybe he lost all if he used all of all of his material no more jokes so so you would divorce him cuz he's not funny anymore oh he's religious oh so if he just decide he doesn't want to go to beess anymore that's it what makes why you with him why you with her oh she's pretty Al if she lost an arm so you going to leave her abandon her Shabbat says sikim say oh you know there was one sadik that lived he had a wife with no arm she was missing an arm but his wife was so modest his wife was so modest that he didn't know she didn't have an arm until she died she was covered herself and so and she protected herself protected her beauty and she made sure to follow all the even when they're together intimately you know you're not supposed to do it in the middle of the day and it's supposed to be dark it's not necessarily uh you know it's not like the uh all the movies intimacy has a place and of course in Judaism as well but there's a times in a place and there's certain ways to do certain things enjoy yourself but there's a way to enjoy yourself we're not uh animals says his wife was so modest that he didn't even know she didn't have an arm until she died she says yeah but just imagine how modest he is oh she was modest of course that's the number one mitvah for a woman is to be modest but a man is not necessarily always modest it's not a given for a man to be modest it's not a given for a man to be modest with his eyes it's not a a given for a man to be modest with his mind it's not a given look how modest he was they he didn't even realize that his wife doesn't have a arm so if the wife doesn't have our Beauty because we all know beauty doesn't last of course there's certain levels of beauty Beauty changes over time but if you're expecting your 20-year-old wife to look the same when she's 50 60 and 70 years old you have a problem life doesn't work that way so if you're marrying her for beauty are you going to get divorced should we start already putting the timer on of how many 20 years before you get divorced why you getting married for what if you're saying to have kids you don't have to get married to have kids you can adopt some there's plenty of kids that want adoption oh you want to have your own kid you don't have to get married to have your own kid why get married married again marriage and having kids are two different things so what your wife is a baby oven there's one guy I knew he hated his wife hated her guy was terrible they hated each other but almost every other year they'd have a kid for the first few years of marriage that I think that five six kids and then they got divorced and we'd always ask him this many years ago it's almost 20 years ago we always ask him you guys always fighting you always yelling you always hate each other why do you keep having kids cuz that's the point of marriage I said I hope not wife is just a baby oven she make babies that's it that's the point that's what hm created the woman for is for that that's her purpose in life this is what you think this is what you were taught and that's where it struck hey hey don't tell me what I was taught that's when you strike the cord why cuz that's what they were taught simple a simple thing changed his life a simple thing changed her life a simple thing can change our lives and that's how we're taught how we're taught yobu was taught that hasem is everything when he went to lavan's house and suffered there and suffered and he was cheated over a hundred times he cheated him on money he never complained once for all the years 20 years he was at Lan's house he never complained once how do we know at the end of the when he's about to leave he tells his wives listen you know your father cheated me a 100 times wait they weren't there where were his wives they were there they know his father already for the beginning of the par when he meets ra she tells him you know my father's a criminal cuz I'll be like your father I know how to deal with criminals I know how to deal with criminals meaning it's already a known thing when he asked the people of the town is all well with Lavan like oh he's already asking too many questions about the number one gangster in town all is well all is well don't say his name it's like uh don't say his name he get shot don't say his name oh well we asking questions about the number one gangster in the world who are you were you cops you writing a story it's funny sometimes people like to ask questions you ask what's the what's the point of your question what's your why you asking this question you ever have those questions asked people always ask me how old are you whatever how much money do you make what you writing a story you writing a article what do you want to know this information for where do you live why you com to my house where you can come visit I didn't invite you why do you want to know where I live why you want how much money I make why do you want to know how old I am well you want to get married I'm married already I married two kids why you kids go to school why you going to go visit them why why do you want all this information people ask questions why you want why you asking all these questions youever get those questions I always get the strangest questions my wife God bless her people love to ask her questions when they meet her she says I don't want to leave the house anymore they keep asking me questions everybody people love to ask questions like they're all journalists why do you want to know all this information what do you have where do you have what car do you have how old is the car do you own the house do you rent the house what are you my accountant what do you care if I own the house or I rent the house wa is it coming out of your pocket did I ask you to give me a social security check what happened what do you want for my life why do you care about all these questions do you rent what do you care no I own oh you own this house well how about you buy it for why you going to buy it for me now for More For Less what do you want to know this information for people ask questions why nosy nosy nosy people why they have nothing to do it's in here they have a brain it's empty there's nothing there nothing they're bored bored with life and they need something to talk about with their friends hey yeah he spoke to your own and he says he's renting the house he's got two kids his wife is this they've been married for this many you got he's got something to talk about with his friends because they also have nothing to talk about so now y goes to this new town he says it's all well with this La well well everything don't say his name don't say his name why you asking so many questions all as well there's already too many questions so right away yov arrives to town he realizes Lavan is no joke he's a criminal he sees lavan's daughter says got to be careful with my father he's a criminal go no no I know how to deal if he's criminal I'll I'll be a criminal meaning I know how to deal with people like him I'll be like his brother what he says I'll be like his brother brothers in crime meaning if he can fool I can fool no problem can't fool me which means that already before the 20year journey that he has with LA he knows who he's dealing with his daughter knows who he's dealing with everyone knows who he's dealing with so why is it at the end of the Paras he says to both of his wives you know your father cheated me 100 times stole money from me change the deal change this change this change he kept changing the deal your father's a cheat but Hashem didn't allow him to cheat me it didn't allow him to succeed so what they didn't know the answer is no they didn't know yobu was so holy that despite being cheated despite being lied to despite suffering day and night he never put one bad word against laan of even though was true because you know that whatever is happening hashem's signing off on it if Lavan is being allowed to cheat him that's because Hashem pressed the button go and he says and Hashem did not allow his cheat to work meaning he tried to cheat but hashm didn't allow it to work why didn't he allow it to work cuz I believe that hm is going to save me so now Y where did he find where did he learn this there's no yet where learn where did he learn this from he learned this he learn this with his father he learned this with his grandfather he learned this with his mother he learned this his whole life it's not he just discovered wasn't a finally after 20 can't be a k you have to be quiet when someone's cheating you lying to you and hurting you in every single way shape or form for 20 years you have to be quiet we can't be quiet for 20 seconds somebody lies I'm publicizing it I'm telling everybody you're a liar I'm telling the rabbi I'm telling the K I'm telling the community 5 Seconds somebody Che I haven't cheated you yet hold there relax I'll give you the money back here's the money as soon as somebody wants to lie to us cheat US do something I want to publicize it I'm going lie I'm going to do this ah go okay be quiet here be quiet just here quiet like a mouse 20 years why where did he get thisa where' he buy it from where' he get it from how come we don't have it that has to do with this mishna m that we learned today is extraordinary not necessarily only because of what it says but because of who is saying it who is saying it the last several shim we've mentioned the uh name we've mentioned the name uh uh r he mentioned that his Rabbi was Elisha benu AKA and this is a mish from Elisha so Elish says one who studies tah while he's still a child to what is he liking what is he like to Ink on fresh clean paper and one who studies tah when he's an old man once he's an old man what is he liken to to Ink written on smudged paper so first and foremost we see that this in this we meaning Elisha B Aya but over here they're calling him Elisha B Aya and not the new name that he got later on in his life after he went off to D and he got a new name coined a so as we've done already in the past let's continue with finding out who is this Alisha B Aya why should we listen to him why should we not I mean in essence you're talking about someone that the Torah says you're not allowed to learn from him told told everybody else not allowed to learn from him but here here we are it's part of the mishna we're obligated to learn this this is before he went off to so who is he so the T says in page 15 also in as well per the second per one and a few other places talks about his story story it actually says he's a third generation Tana that one of the D that went off to became a heretic became a heretic how could it be how can someone become a heretic I mean this is not someone that went to Yesa for a few years didn't like it asked his Rabbi a couple of questions Rabbi didn't have answers and he got off the it's not that there's a uh story about RIS RIS one day saw that one of the guys that went off the de that became secular was in his Yesa and then he left few months past he sees him in the street on Shabbat smoking a cigarette and he say shabbat shalom oh you know the guy was a little embarrassed threw out the cigarette oh yeah how are you how are you I'm fine how are you how you doing why don't you come join us in Yesa no you know it wasn't for me so many years you in Yesa all of a sudden it wasn't for you what happened says listen I had a lot of questions had a lot of questions and there was no answers so I knew it wasn't for me so the r brisk said you didn't have a lot of questions you had a lot of excuses because you know that if you had a lot of questions I was right there for you to ask and not once did you come to me and ask me those questions you didn't ask me question if you had questions who's God where is God all the whatever questions philosophical questions you have this question that question questions questions science qu any question you have if you had questions why not one time did you come to me and ask me the questions because you didn't have questions you had excuses and you were looking to use those excuses to justify your sins you wanted to sin you wanted to smoke on Shabbat you wanted to go out with a Goya you wanted to eat kazil you wanted to do whatever you want now you know the truth you know what mosu gave us T You Know M say you know how to do those things but he said listen how can I do those things knowing that it's wrong so let me find a hole in the system oh you know what you know what it says on one hand it says one thing in this PUK and it says a different P something else it says a hasem told them that your descendants are going to be in Egypt for 430 years but then later on it says in Exodus they were there for 400 years but then if you do the math they were really there for 210 years so there confusion oh there's questions there's too many questions the whole thing is p the whole thing is cancelled no nothing is cancelled just look look at what the commentaries how they explain it see it makes perfect sense why Hashem said it in one way why he said it the second way why he said the Third Way everything has an explanation everything and the handful of things that don't have an explanation the entire Tor we're talking about millions and millions of pages for theal T written T and so on all the Tora doesn't have the few things that don't have explanations you're not going to ask anyway why you're not in that level to ask those questions you're not in the level you're not in the level to care about those questions I'll give you an example do you understand the concept of par what you got to do you have to make sure there's perfect cow perfectly Red Cow if there's two hairs that are not red it's she's not good now let's ask a question here how how many hairs that does a par have does a cow have talk about millions of hairs millions of hairs imagine somebody comes to you and tells you listen I wanted to marry your daughter beautiful nice you guys are rich everything is great but wonderful everything is great but I heard I heard I didn't even see I heard that your daughter has two gray hairs so the sh is off the shid is off your daughter has two gray hairs on her arm on on a finger on a foot or somewhere she I'm off the is off two two gray hairs what do you do he throw this guy out with the head first what's wrong with this person first of all what's the big deal to has second of all pluck them out just take them out you could take them out take a little thing take them out what's the big deal or if you want to keep them in to be complete D them there's so many different fixes but the says if the cow out of the millions and millions of hairs that it has has two hairs that are not red cannot be used on top of it if it ever carried any weight on its back cannot be used on top of it after let's you finally found one finally you found one we're talking about almost 2,000 years we haven't had a red cow 2,000 years we haven't had a red cow 2,000 years we haven't had a red cow we have two now 2,000 years we couldn't find one red cow imagine how difficult it is to find a red cow there's millions of cows in the world you know how many there's different Farms this farm that farm this Farm people want to breed red cows you haven't had a red cow in 2,000 years how much it's worth now you have two imagine somebody says he by the way the two that we have they both have gray hairs they both have black hairs the owner if I was I'd shoot the guy do you know how much you just cost me each one was worth 10 billion they're looking for these cows for 2,000 years you just ruined them pluck the hairs out you you know how much you just cost me each cow is worth1 billion that look for them for 2,000 years you in your big mouth with your big questions why you asking if she has any any any other hands why you asking so many questions you're writing a story about the cow it's all the questions that's the problem people ask so many questions why you looking at the Cow why you looking for a hair what's your business with the cow oh no no I saw ruin the account just take the house hair out what's the big deal finally you found the account so now you have to take you Slaughter the cow fine you Slaughter the cow you got to the slaughter you use the holy water they mikash fine you got the water everything went good you purified purify the people that had impurity which is pretty much all of us because we've all been to a cemetery or we've known someone that is uh you know touched someone else that was dead and so on and so forth everyone is impure so everyone needs to be purified how do you get purified coin sprinkles a little water on you that's it like you know it's not even like fun it's not even like fun like it's a water party like when you're a little kid with the guns everybody gets you know water everywhere and you're running around the grass like a little kid no it's not even fun you're waiting for this for 2,000 years at least you want it to be a little fun hey let's have water party balloons something no tick tick you're fixed finished finished not even you don't even get like nothing nothing nothing happens okay so maybe you figure you know what the qu this qu a regular quen regular qu has a very important job he's got millions of Jews to purify so he must be a very special person must be a very special person so he must be pure than all of us what do you find out you find out at the end of the day at after he sprinkled however many people eat fit sprinkle 10 million people you know how kind of job it is to sprinkle so many people you ever sprinkle that many people just throwing a water water balloon makes you tired this guy sprinkled people all the all day finally he finished the day know how tired he is you figure this guy's k Kim what they say hey by the way K you're not pure now the coin that purified everyone else he's not pure now why because he touched the red cow he sprinkled everyone else he purified everyone else and by purifying everyone else he's not pure why doesn't make any sense can you explain this no there's no way to explain it this is one of the few things in the Torah that Shalom says red count Beyond me I don't understand but this this is not a question that before you go to sleep you ask yourself any one of you before you went to sleep and say oh you know what the red cow is bothering me so much hem come to me in a dream send somebody send somebody in a dream send from finally understands the red cow he he's in right now no you probably know the answer by now you're not still asking S I can't sleep all night so I'm going to sleep just for you to send so I can have the answer I can tell this why we have the red cow no one went to sleep like that no one came cares no one asked this question no one asked this question who asked this question so the few questions we don't have answers for we don't really care about the answers because we're not glued to hem like we're supposed to be we're not glue to like was that he's even thinking about the red cow meaning that the is saying if you had any questions you had questions questions uh science questions any question you had you could have come to me you didn't come that means you didn't have questions you had excuses you had excuses to justify your behavior and you know that as soon as you come to me I'm going to destroy all your excuses you wanted to be a sinner you made excuses in your head you let the yet already take over so people always ask how could it be that some someone that's religious goes of the now it says that there's actually a su there's a whole uh complication here so is it possible for someone that's holy someone that comes that's his nature is good learns Torah mitv everything is good is it possible for such a person to go bad is they say well look you had a few people you had yanai was aen they say it's the same one it's the same person and in page 29a says is it possible for a righteous man to turn turn away from his righteousness and to become corrupt is that even possible I mean if he's righteous how could he just change all of a sudden why watched TV and that's it that ruined everything I mean the guy was righteous for 30 40 50 60 years he watched TV and you know one time that's it everything went bad is that really possible now I know everybody in your mind right now you're saying yeah of course it's possible I saw it happen I heard about it happen but wait hold on a second it says don't believe it it's not the case now you're going to use the example of yan yan was a not only a he was a the head of the for how long for 80 years that means that he had to survive KES Kim he had to go in Yip for a few minutes in KES kesim with a pure thought a pure mind to save the people for 80 years and after 80 years not only did he go against he became a heretic became a sadducee from Co to saguy the worst of worst of them like literally one degree under the Christian no they s were Heretics it's different level so how could it be AB says Yan didn't just go off the Yan was off the the whole time meaning Yan is really yanai yanai was a rash that massacred many sages because they questioned whether he had the ability to be a he murdered many of them it says it's not that he became a rash he was a rash the whole time contained it for a while another example they use is Elisha B Aya Elisha put it behind you Alisha they sayu I mean his student his student is R Balan I mean imag knowing somebody that knows somebody that knows somebody that touch the hand of someone goes to a grave they tell everyone the story oh I went to the grave and I prayed the but he's not there the grave is there but he's not there I prayed at the grave will be me and I put the candle and they tell you the story for how many for the rest of their life they G to tell you the story I went to the Grave start touching their eyes all these different things I went to the they didn't talk to him they just went to the grave and they're so proud of it they're so excited it's amazing had so many miracles happen because of but he didn't know imagine being his teacher do you understand what's happening this is his teacher how could his teacher mean if he's is so good his teacher is even greater his teacher went off the his teacher went off the how could it be so thear explains the following says that Elisha B Aya did not come from a secular house came from a house where his father was a some actually say he was one of now today anyone that's old is considered do already the the term gador is thrown around like his bubble gum there really are a few but everyone that likes a certain Rabbi oh he's G how old is he he's 35 he's not g I'm sorry he's 35 years old he's not g yet he has to be let let him be sadik like he is right now and even more for the next 67 years and then we'll talk about G it's not necessarily that g requires a certain age but I mean he still doesn't have enough experience at that age no but he knows everything everything everything everything he knows do you know what everything is in order to know if he knows everything oh but he knows the things by he knows the whole Mish by heart he knows the whole by oh you checked them you check them line by line oh he knows a few verses by heart he knows a few by heart I know first does that mean I'm of anything no just know you know by heart a few times big deal Time study whatever but the point is so what do make what is doesn't mean you have nothing know of course that's a prerequisite means that you've become one with the Tor it's not just knowledge knowledge is plenty of people that have knowledge plenty of people that have knowledge means that you've actually become one with the Tor you're applying everything you know you no longer have your own personal opinion your own personal desires you're thinking what's in aah what is aem's Will what is good for the nation not what's good for me how much money I'm going to make how many donations I'm going to get none of that stuff that's not even part of the accounting one of the amazing stories that they tell about Shalom is that one of the big uh that's been around for many decades says that you know when radya was very young before he became the famous radya he would go from every single day you there was wasn't many people with cars one of his friends in a community in y had a car he says okay come on take me for uh take me for a ride let's go or where we going where we going we're going to different kot outside of Y what K are we going they invite us they know us anything no we're going anywhere there's Jews we're going to go there and he'd go there he'd go to these different anywhere there's there's there's Jews he'd go he'd come in pray with them and then after they don't know him he's not the famous that everyone has a picture on the wall of no one knows who this guy is he goes to the podium in a bitet with all the confidence in the world I have a few things to say who are you what do you want you know Israelis they don't have much patience for some stranger you have something to say they're not ones for questions by the way the American uh the American way of asking 500 questions is a way of introduction doesn't fly in Israel you start asking questions in Israel to put a gun to your head don't ask questions what do you want were you a terrorist why do you want why you want to know so many questions why you have so many questions you know I'm telling them that's serious you go to isra you start asking people questions like what are you writing a story were you the cops who are you why you asking so many questions it's a very American thing this question thing people you meet them how old do you how much do money do you make where do you work where do you live on what floor when you throw out the garbage when is the Sanitation Company pick it up like what do I you so any questions so many questions people have about nothing and Israel doesn't fly so if you go to Israel on vacation or to move there remember you're learning a sh no questions hello hello sometimes hello they don't even say it's very different they very different in Israel no seriously you go to no one says hello you say actually when to visit there you know many many years I was wasn't there I went to visit went to you know I'm American I'm 30 years already in America after 30 years being in America you become American so whatever our nature is to say hello you see somebody especially a religious Jew I'm excited like aho you know in America you don't always see religious Jews you see people in Israel you see Rel Shalom they look at me like like I'm looking at myself like what Happ what so I think okay maybe I had something in my nose maybe something in my hair my eyes falling I don't know what happened so I passed to do we keep walking my wife is next to me another couple pass shabbat shalom they're looking at me like every time I see shabbat shalom it's like I just scared them like why am I seeing shabbat shalom who are you and I didn't understand I didn't understand what happened and Rob FR is like laughing a little bit on the side like quietly I'm like what's wrong how come they don't like how come they don't say hello how come they don't see shabbat shalom go no people are very private here people very private here they're not used to just some stranger saying hello and shabbat shalom like you know some people are very friendly but that's usually the Americans that's usually the Americans they're very friendly Israel is not so you know whatever it's like I'm like why it's not a nice thing say shabbat shalom say hello it's like yeah it's nice but usually they think you want something why are you saying hello what do you want what do you want what why you saying hello who are you why you saying hello to me it's very different it's a very different climate very different culture so that was shocked to me it bothered me a lot it still bothers me people don't say hello very strange to us it's strange to us to them we're strange but anyway the uh what I forgot the story was saying so Elisha Aya his father was one of the oh I'm sorry the uh story with Raad so Raad was a uh told his friend no come on take me out rabai have a few things to say like who is this guy some people made fun of him some people walked out some people said no okay you have a few minutes and what does he start talking about for the next 15 minutes he starts talking about how it's necessary for everyone to sign up their children to yes what yes whatever is available what's available at that time there's noar there's only ashkanazi at this time meaning it's not even his Yesa he's not signing him up for his Yesa so at least he's making money out of it maybe is Yesa maybe eventually they're going to don't no just sign your kids up toot why that's what we have to do that's what hasem said and every single night he starts signing people up and see people say Okay a few people would going to it go okay fine okay I'll sign my kid up tomorrow no no no sign him up right now I brought the paperwork I brought the paperwork let me sign you up he start signing or filling up the paperwork with them for free nothing he's not getting anything out of it other than saving am that's the that everyone knows oh he wrote books he wrote the did that's the stuff that you see after what made him was caring about so one of the big of said that you know most of the really the older crowd of religious Jews both most people think that radya affected only the spartic world the reality of it is is that in his day when he was going from place to place most of the askanazi came from R also most of the ashkanazi kids that went to was because of also that's is when you care about the people not yourself not your self-interest so it says that Elisha Ben Aya his father was Aya Elisha Ben Aya Ben AVU means son of Aya so his father's name was Aya was one of the and it says that when Alisha was born he had a brief mil part and he because he was a no wealthy Not only was heam he was also very wealthy he invited all of the big sages to and two of the sages was RAB and Rua now RAB Rua came to theit and after they had the circumcision and and and all the the different things like they said to each other okay let them deal with with Theirs Whatever It Is that occupies them let us deal with ours meaning let's learn Torah so they sat down they started learning T they started with most people saying cabala no start learning start learning people think noash is for fifth graders no no noash is Tora it's the highest level of t H people immediately they start learning 3 months later when can I start learning Z learn K first learn what it means learn some commentary understand what God Said you want to learn zah why because they think it's better it's more mystical you're going to start flying a few months later we're going to actually learn from Elisha Ben Aya the danger of going too fast so they started learning then after that they went to they went to the tanak they started learning prophets then after that they started learning start learning of the the writings Psalms so on and they started learning to such an extent of holiness that there started a fire around them a holy fire started being lit around them a fire not like an imaginary fire oh wow that's really cool no no like a real fire but a fire it's not burning anything so initially auu came wait you burning my house no no don't worry this is a fire of T and Aya says if this is is what Torah gets I'm now committing my son to a life of Torah so now the ask a question here was what he just discovered the benefits of Torah I mean he obviously knew Torah has many many benefits he saw fire and now oh now I'm going to why didn't he commit a son to Tor before that he was born already tell him okay I'm committing son T why is it that after he saw the fire he committed a son T So Shalom says an amazing such an amazing K that I think if someone really can understand the significance of this they can understand this entire Mish if you don't understand this K you're not going to understand anything I say after this is relatively simple as a side note says one of the uh says uh to people he was a Quin says whoever can give me a I'll give him part of the offering he got as as a coin had a huge piece of meat I'll give him this one of the pieces of meat where few somebody gave him a k says if you have another K I'll give you the other piece of meat gave another K he says you know K I told you I actually learned it from your he goes the fact that you learn it from my is worth worth more than the first two that you gave me here we see the value of a so says the of course AVU knew of course Aya knew the Val value of Tor you have the you learn you fulfill the will of hem and so on and so forth but the problem here is that he didn't commit his son to a life of Torah for the sake of Torah he committed his son to Torah because he saw the material benefits out of it he saw that when you learn Tora and you get to such a high level like rabar and Rua you could have such fire such cavod both from sh and people look at you look at this just thinking about a fire we already giving him cavod imagine seeing the fire how much Cav they got maybe they can make money out of it he's thinking about all the material benefits of this Torah he says that ruined everything even though he knew T was beneficial he wasn't looking for the right benefit if you're going to go learn Torah for material benefit it's a Torah that's a BAL it's a Torah that's has a defect in it the Tor that has a defect in it we learn mishna in a few months ago in aot 311 it says says anyone whose fear of sin anyone who's a fear of sin is more important takes precedence over his wisdom his wisdom will endure but anyone whose wisdom takes precedence over his fear of sin his wisdom will not endure meaning anyone that's learning Torah but he's not learning to really to do it he's learning toah for different material benefits he's not learning to to get glued to hem to be to be much glute to hem to get to a point where he's developing his he doesn't want to sin against AEM both because he fears him and he loves him and so on and so forth he says whatever wisdom he has which means tah it won't endure eventually it's going to fall eventually it's going to be tainted eventually we're going to see right through it it's not good quality wisdom it's not good quality this Torah is not from sh it's Torah that he learned it like a history book he learned it for his own ego he learned it to just tell people to do he didn't learn it for the sake of Hashem he didn't learn it because Hashem said so so AVU had a son and he wanted his son to become but not because that would fulfill the will of hem because he wanted the kavod he wanted the honor that comes with being he wanted the money that comes with being so later on Alisha got to a point where he became a big and there's a few different things that happen in his life they say different that uh some people say was the turning point that made him turn him into a kuill now he got to a high level of T this is not like a is it's not a simple person here you got to the almost highest level of Tora where says there was four people that got to a point of being able to learn enough to go and learn the mystical aspects of Torah cabala and they went all all four of them went to something called a pares pares is something mystical it's in sh it's not in this world it's like an outof Body Experience comes out of the body and goes somewhere else understanding it you're not going to but just try to at least I don't understand and I'm telling you the story seriously we don't understand the concept of what it means to be PES we're still not figuring out what why the two hairs on the cow don't M matter you want to understand pales but it says in we went over this sayses okay so they went to pares fine says Ben was one of the he glanced in he went to the PES he saw the Divine Spirit he saw something that represents AEM something not from this world fell in love with it and gave up his life says I don't want to go back to the regular world it's not worth it he enjoyed it so much he enjoyed the so much says I can I can't leave I can't leave be honest with you if I was him I'd also not come back even without the just you already have a place in G why you wa why you wasting your time here that was bazai the Benz oh no so the uh another went there and we a little cuckoo he uh lost it lost his mind couldn't handle the difference between the worlds never the same RAB AKA went up there and improved as a result Elisha Ben Aya went up there and shortly after became a k became a heretic so now how is this possible for someone to go up to heaven to go up to sh and go against theem at the same time how could it be doesn't make any sense so this is first and foremost one of the reasons why the say that not everyone is allowed to study certain aspects of the Torah as a matter of fact it's quite the opposite the vast majority of people should never even touch or talk about some of the mystical aspects of Torah so for example the Z which is very popular people love the Z and different parts of it like the cabala people think that they're studying the Z there's uh translations of certain parts of the Z to English and other languages or there so-called cabala centers first and foremost you should know that if you're going to cabala Center they're not teaching you cabala they're teaching you whatever makes sense in their own mind it has nothing to do with cabala it just little trinkets of things they heard in certain books that has nothing to do with cabala second thing is is that the translations if it's a legitimate translation of the Z or parts of the Z you shouldn't touch it and the reason why is because certain parts of the Z are things that are Beyond us meaning that mention specific names of Angels the angels are not us angels are not like us what do I mean angels are Canim they're very zealous for hem so when you mention their name they they come they arrive now if you mention their name and they arrive and they see that you're not worthy of saying their name forget about you're not worthy of ser you're not serving AEM right you're not doing the right thing if you're not a pure person they can take revenge against you Shalom and torure you and potentially kill you and people are learning zor like oh I learn zor every day and then they tell me yeah I have so many problems in my life I don't know why I got a flat tire on Tuesday got into a car crash on Wednesday I broke my hand on Thursday like yeah you're probably by Friday you won't survive you don't stop people ask oh they tell me no but I learn zor every day like you shouldn't be learning zor so and that's not just the Zar there's other aspects of the T that are also very mystical and the reason why people are very attracted to the Zar is because it seems like it's very far away it's very mystical and you could like I don't know fool the system somehow and all of it overnight become aik overnight become successful it's all nonsense it doesn't work that way so there's certain aspects of the Torah that are not for everyone there's certain aspects of the Torah that you just simply should not study because you won't understand it anyway and just wasting your time and the reality of it is that you have to ask yourself what's the point of your studying if you're studying is to get some type of magic trick you're not looking for T you're looking for you're looking for idol worship if you think that by you studying Tor all of a sudden you're going to become rich overnight goodlooking skinny and uh somehow smart and it's all going to happen out of a short period of time you're not you're looking for a magic trick you're looking for witchcraft you're not looking for tah the point point of why we learn T is to fulfill the will of hem that's the bottom line reason of why we learn tah yes of course there's certain different beneficial aspects to it but the real reason of why we learned Tor is because hm said so so if you're looking for some trick system you're putting yourself in danger it's better you don't learn at all you're obligated to learn but if you're learning for such a thing it's better you don't learn because you're putting yourself you're learning the wrong thing now what's the what's the source what's the proof Elisha Ben Aya Elisha Ben Aya even though he was at the time before he went off the he was very holy at the time before he went off the he was very righteous and everything was great but he bit off a little more than he can chew he studied a little bit too much mysticism he went a little too far beyond what his capability of the N that he had had and as soon as he saw certain things that didn't make sense to him he turned the opposite end and this actually happens a lot of times where people for example love to talk about the ramb but instead of learning what the ramb says as far as that he learned all the how to be a Jew how to follow the 613 Commandments in our days what to do what not to do how to behave so on and so forth what do they do they learn they learn guide for the perplexed Now guide for the perplexed for anyone that's a real will tell you that reading it reading reading most likely is more likely to confuse you about everything in life not just Torah about everything in life than help you why you have to be an extraordinarily high level of intellect and Holiness to understand what he means because there are certain times that in the ran talks in philosophical terms that are makes him sound like like he's a heretic doesn't make any sense if you don't understand the background of what he's saying it doesn't make any sense to you so no people like oh look he's this he's that like they they read these books like it's like a Stephen King book like it's one of these non-fiction books or fiction books or Harry Potter like it's like oh yeah he said this he said this you know what you know the significance of this the problem is that we really don't understand the significance of tah we don't realize that reading one simple verse one simple verse in the five books of Moses in the not even just one verse one word one word first word you know sayit it was worth it for hem to create the entire world the entire world the whole world with all the problems with the flood and and the heresy and the Christianity and all the garbages in the world and all the problems and all the craziness it was worth it enough forem to create the world just for you to sayit Once once in your life you said you read the book you look the book do even say said that's it finished it was worth forem to create the world for that and you want to go somewhere else what's wrong with you where you going he specifically says the Torah is not in the heavens it's not about a deep into the ocean above the mountains why you going so far everyone wants a shortcut they did chba 6 months ago they already want to learn things that are you know what happens in heaven what happened before this world what's going to happen after this world when's the mhia coming exactly what time I want to know what the mashia coming cuz I want to make sure I cook something for him like he's going to talk to you how do you know you're going to survive everybody wants to talk when's the mhia coming is he coming today is he coming tomorrow what's he going to look like is this going to happen Revival of the Dead their dead what what year is the Revival of the Dead going to be is it going to be 40 years after 15 years after is it going to be Darkness 15 days of darkness that dark what's going to happen first be a Jew first be a basic level rightous Jew then worry about messia what happens in heaven what happens after this world what happened before first be a decent person first say that verse with Shem in it do that it was already worth for to create the world after you do that a while longer then you can start asking some more questions mashia mashia when m cuz the reality everybody's so worried about mashia coming not coming doing Aliyah doing doing this doing this we're forgetting about today what about today what about now everyone wants a shortcut Mia mashia mashia who says that you're going to survive mashia who says you're going to survive why are you so confident you're going to survive I'm telling you the more I learned I don't know if I'll survive I try every day I try every day and if I don't try my wife gives it to me on my hand make sure I try I'm telling you I try every day I try every day to fight to make sure that we survive I don't know if I'm going to survive I don't know I'm that serious the more I learned Tor and today we learned I don't know if I don't know I don't know if I have the marit to survive everybody's confident as can be to surv Masia is coming let him come today let him come tomorrow I'm scared to death I'm scared to death Mia is coming who knows I don't know I learn I don't know I have a thousand hours of Tor online I have no idea if it means anything maybe I did something wrong maybe right maybe wrong what do I know who know why you so confident the more I learn the less confident I become and everybody's Mash's coming I want him to why you want him to come who says he who say he's going to save you do you know that he's going to be able to smell your do you even have for him to smell do you even know what it means to are you afraid are you afraid of hem afraid no I love asem oh you love AEM you know what it means to love asem it means you have no desires that's what it means to love Hashem means you want nothing for yourself nothing all you want is what hashm wants do you even know what hasm wants everybody's so confident confident I want them why you so confident first learn what it says the problem here is that we want f we want quick we're used to a world that gives us quick return We press a button on the phone something happens this is nothing new nothing new Under the Sun Elisha benu went to sh a little too quick he went to Sham and he saw some things that didn't make any sense it says in the books that he learned that all the malim all the Angels stand he saw an angel sit he says something's wrong Maybe there's two there's two creators something didn't make sense in his head another one was that he says that he saw one day a guy climbing a tree trying to fulfill the mitvah of you can find in Deuteronomy 22:6 and 7 it's the Mitzvah where AEM this is also one of the mitv that we have no idea why and who and when but hasm decided that if you we have a few tamim a few explanations but in reality everyone knows it's not the real explanation that if you see a bird in a tree on her eggs on her you shoe her away however many times it takes to shoe her away and then you take the eggs she continues to keep Sho her away you can't take her you have to sh her away and you have to take the eggs that's a Mitzvah what's the it says what is actually the benefit of this Mitzvah hasem promised you long days meaning long life says in the verse go look Deuteronomy 22 verse 6 and 7 you go sh a bird and you have a long life why you know I don't know don't know either but that's the Mitzvah so somebody did sees him and as he comes down a snake bites him and he dies he did it he took the bird he took the he shwed the bird away he took the eggs now he's supposed to get long life immediately came down from the tree a snake a snake bit him and he died finished says how does this make any sense you just did a mitvah that according to the Tor promised you a long life you died 5 seconds later it's better if you didn't do the mitvah you would lived says something's wrong maybe there's no there's no Dean there's no there's no reward and Punishment meaning he became a in the 13 principles of Faith last but not least he saw this was a time where the evil Romans were persecuting the Jews and one of the the the martyred was and uh they cut him up into pieces and he saw inisha so that his tongue was in the in the mouth of a dog the holy tongue of R was in a mouth of a filthy disgusting dog the holy tongue that said so many T the holy tongue that said so many so many amazing things he sees a filthy dog is eating it he says after he sees it he says this is the T this is the Torah and that's its reward maybe there's no reward and Punishment maybe there's no afterlife maybe there's no Resurrection these things didn't make sense to him didn't make sense to him and the reason why they didn't make sense to him is because he was thinking like us he was thinking like a human being and specifically said in a Tora my thoughts are not your thoughts I don't think like you when you think of benefit you're immediately thinking of material Hashem doesn't think in material he's not Material when he says life you'll have life you have long life he's not referring to long life in this world he's talking about eternity cuz even if you have what you think is a long life in this world you live 120 years that's nothing in comparison to Eternity it's nothing even in comparison to people that lived in previous generations at the time of Noah a young guy died at 350 he died young had a skateboard uh fall on his head and he died at 350 if you die in an old man you almost a thousand well so what you lived 120 you're still a puppy like a baby in nor generation like a little baby so even if you had long life what's long life meaning that whatever you think is a lot is nothing whatever you think is good is nothing our mind is still a human mind it's a flawed human mind and so when we're starting to give meaning we'll start doing the accounting of hm and start asking asking so many questions not only to our neighbor not only to our friends but we're starting asking Hashem so many questions Hashem says come up here I'll give you some answers come up here I'll give you some answers I can't give you answers while you still down there you have a lot of questions come I'll give you answers because the answers that I have you can't understand them in you're human form you can't askm I want to know why does the righteous suffer and the wicked Prosper doesn't make any sense hasem says I can't I cannot explain it to you why you're still here in this world it's m spoke them face to face we barely know how to spell Moshe in Hebrew and we want to know more than Moshe a lot of questions so Elisha benu made the mistake why did he make a mistake two reasons number one his Torah wasn't pure his Torah was not for the sake of Heaven is Torah was for the sake of material for exterior for cavod for respect for Honor why was it like that cuz that's how his father brought him up his father already put it in his mind in his DNA go make money selling toah second thing is he grew too fast he told the guy listen you just started learning CH keep going keep going let's learn let's learn some so you work through the day and at night you learn you learn in the morning you work during the day and then you learn again at night well you say no no no I'm leaving I'm going to Cola full time you're not ready for Cola you're not ready for Cola you have to get you have to be ready you have to have certain merits to go to col you have to have a certain amount of knowledge to go to k and I'm not talking about Torah knowledge I'm talking about life knowledge you can't just go from g to g in two seconds have to get there there's a certain amount of it's required and for whatever reason or another no one wants to listen to me they keep going they keep going they keep going against they have difficulties I don't wish them difficulties but they keep having difficulties so no one wants to be the student everybody wants to be the rabbi now this mishna tells us a few other things that's two this one already oh it's done give give give me all of them this mishna also says a few other things now that we know we're dealing with Elisha B see thata B Aya saw a few things got off the D but how did he get to such a point where he was coined the name a a meaning the other like he's not one of us the stranger Among Us how do you go from being a Tana Tana meaning you're able to revive the dead you mentioned in thear you're student is Ral R the owner of Miracles I mean it's that's your student how do you go from that to being called the other they don't mention them by name how do you get there after he saw some of these things that didn't make sense to him he started becoming anti Tor he started becoming anti Tor he started going from Yesa to Yesa and he start asking the qu the kids questions what are you learning oh I learned that's what you learned today okay give me a k I said little young kid gave him a k it's wrong now if it's wrong what do you do correct them no what do he do he killed them says you don't deserve to learn Torah another one oh you're going to be a plumber it's better for you not to learn to you're going to be a painter you shouldn't learn to he started discouraging people from learning to killing murdering every all types of crazy things that you wouldn't think a psychopath does let alone someone that knew his mind was completely Twisted completely Twisted now one day remember in those days there's no internet there's no newspapers there's no pictures not everybody knows what you look like one day he goes to a prostitute and thear says he goes to a prostitute and a prostitute says to he says I want your service and a prostitute says wait a minute aren't you the big Rabbi Elisha Ben Aya like what are you doing here and instead of responding to her with words it was Shabbat instead of responding to with words he took a onion out of the ground he went in the ground he took onion out of the ground which is Shabbat he violated Shabbat and he gave it to her as a present she was oh you're not ala you're you're not the Raba you're a you're someone else why why did you how did she come up with that what how do you go from here aren't you oh no no you're not him he gave you an onion what the onion makes not somebody else what happened here's the K the K is the prostitute knew something that I wish wish everyone in this generation know says that even the biggest Rabbi in the world even someone that's been religious entire life even someone that went to the best even someone that has great upbringing even someone that's this and whatever you want to say there's no such thing as someone that's exempt from sex crimes meaning if you're a guy you can make a Sex crime if you're a girl you can make if you're alive you can make a Sex crime meaning go do something that's not allowed why she says though if even if he is a rabbi even if he is a and he came to me it's not really a a good thing for him to come to me after all I'm a prostitute that's why I asked the question it's not normal but how did she decide it's not him she didn't see a picture in the newspaper no newspapers B in those days how do you see oh he violated Shabbat meaning that even the biggest Rabbi can violate a sex crime but not even the biggest fool Will violate Shabbat the biggest Rabbi could make go to a prostitute but the biggest fool with a costume on still wouldn't violate Shabbat who knew what we learn this M from a prostitute a do you understand do you understand what's Happening Here people say no no I go to beip you have a choice keep Yip keep Shabbat keep Shabbat Shabbat is more holy than Yip but people think oh no but how do we know we should listen to her because the thear wrote it and to make sure you realize that it doesn't matter that she's the one that said it despite all of her own crimes against theem what's true is true it doesn't matter who says it that's why they wrote it in the it makes no difference who said the truth it Still Remains the truth one of the places we learn this from is from a couple of weeks ago we learned about elzar and they had a conversation between them Al says to abam abam you know you want me to go find your son a wife but you know I have a daughter I'm your second in command I give shim when you're not giving shim I give the shim I replace you you know I know Tor it became give every day not just on Tuesdays and Wednesdays every day I give and my daughter she's the best one in the seminar you're her Rabbi your wife Sarah is a raban you know she grew up in a good house she grw she knows who your son is good matchu says you are cursed I'm blessed can never be a marriage it can never be a marriage why you're from Canan the Canaanites are cursed hasem says they're cursed me I'm part of the I'm blessed now if I was elzar I say thank you very much I quit is my two weeks notice I'm cursed after all these years I've been with you I'm cursed I'm leaving I'm gone see you later thank you no thank you kind of attitude I'm suing you for harassment what does alaza say you're right you're right I swear to you I swear to you and he makes a vow he makes a vow in that moment I swear to you I'm going to find him I'm not going to bring your son a Canaanite or bring him one of your people someone that's allowed and saw that inside elel he did not get offended he did not get hurt even though he just told him his own teacher told him you're cursed we're hearing that he says he cursed and we're getting offended right now I see your faces everybody's offended why you say that that's so mean abam why you saying it AB that's so mean right you're all thinking that I know I see your faces y all saying that's so rude that's so mean why is he racist you're all upset about it elzar wasn't upset why because it was a truth it was a truth the truth comes out it doesn't matter who says it it doesn't matter who says it if it's true it's true if it's true that's the will of hem we also learn it from when tells them no your curses are not working do something else says what do you think God thinks like you or me he changes his mind what do you think he a human being he says one thing today he changes [Applause] tomorrow this is one of the most important verses in the tah in today's age it completely destroys Christianity it completely destroys all of a he specifically says what do you think God thinks like you you think God is like you he acts like you he's a human like you he changes his mind he makes a deal and breaks it what do you think God is he's like you this is a verse in the Torah why is it a verse in the Torah bam said it doesn't make a difference who said it if it's true it's true if it's true it's true it doesn't make a difference we learn about the significance of from for a prostitute in why did say couldn't it say listen he learned it in some sh or he learned it from some friend or you had a girlfriend you know at least make it respectable he had a girlfriend on the side of something all that all the choices you have to it's true that's how we see that to is 100% authentic there's no zuine there's no Shady things we're not sugar coating anything there's no sugar coating in a tah oh yeah it was some girl he knew she was Liv down the hole no there's no political correctness she was a prostitute he came for that and we learned tah from her why because the truth if you can't learn that Shabbat is significant from her you can't learn from anybody you're too much of a fool so this very same Elisha now coin the name who made it the and all of the forever called him a the other after she made up the name to show that it doesn't make a difference way you're learning the Tor as long as it's real Tor as long as it's true of course there is that says if your Rabbi has bad mid you're not allowed to learn from him we're not talking about learning Tora in that sense we're talking about honest statements we're talking about the truth versus lies regardless of who says the truth who says a lie it doesn't change whether it's true or a lie if a big Rabbi says a lie it's still a lie doesn't make it true if a big Rabbi says a true it's true doesn't make a difference that he's a big Rabbi what's true is true what's false is false is a very very important principle that seems simple but yet few people take it into account so now this very same Alicia he's telling us something extraordinary he's telling us something that affected his life before he even went off the says you know why I went off to it wasn't because of my teachers later in life it wasn't because of my wife being a bad wife or a good wife it wasn't because of my kids driving me crazy cuz they didn't want to sleep at night or they want to go to an expensive college or they're off the D or on or they don't want to get accept to no it had nothing to do with anyone except my parents it says whoever studies toah while he's still a child he's like someone or he's like ink on a fresh clean paper meaning when someone studies toah as a child whatever is written whatever is told to them they'll remember forever nothing is there to interfere there's no sto there's no garbage in his mind there's no stress about bills there's no stress about girlfriends there's no stress about this or that or all diets or who's popular and who's not popular and is this dress fit or is it making me look fat or is this glasses going to make me look old or none of that stuff is in your mind when you're little kid you're pure you're pure pure nothing's wrong meaning you are clean piece of paper everything comes in stays in you teach little kids to that's where you go actually one of the amazing things one of the amazing Traditions that is M for me personally I think it's by far the most amazing thing that shows the value of tradition in the Jewish World especially is the tradition that the yemenites have of teaching their kids how to read from the scroll read from the T T from the scroll when they're still little kids three four five years old I have never met a yemenite I've never met a yite that doesn't know how to read from a scroll of Torah there's no like here and the rest of us I you know my ancestors from Tripoli some people are from Morocco some people from uh Egypt some people are from different parts of ashas and if you've learned how to read from the Torah scroll you learned if you didn't you didn't it's it's it was an extracurricular activity if you will to learn how to read from the scroll in the yemenite world it's no such thing if you're yite you know how to read from it's a prerequisite it's m amazing I've never met a y man that doesn't know how to reach but I'm not talking about reading like oh yeah he knows a little bit like he makes M no no they know better like they know the whole thing by heart I knew it by heart I'm 37 for anyone had the question cuz there's so many questions in the world imagine that they know a little kid six seven years old knows it by heart amazing tradition why why why cuz they teach him when they're babies their babies they're clean there's no garbage in their mind they're not thinking about work wife kids this they're not they don't have any of that garbage that we destroy our minds with it's a clean piece of paper Alicia Benya says when I was a child when I was a clean piece of paper I was told that Torah is good but I was told it was good for the wrong reason I was told it was good it was valuable but I thought it was valuable for the wrong reason they supposed to learn T so you become a fancy schmancy teacher it's told you going to learn T so you could tell people what to do yell at them all day to you learn T you have fire around you and looks cool on TV special effects when you're learning T say what's like what do he like he's like one of the songs of the Greeks or the books of the minim what does he have to do what does have anything to do with the songs of the Greeks or the books of the meaning the songs of the Greeks and the books of the meim as follows songs of the Greeks meaning sometimes you raise your kids and you think that you're doing them a favor by sending them to baseball practice by sending them to become soccer players by the way when was the last Jewish soccer player that won the Stanley Cup answer never we're not known as good athletes to begin with even the good ones are not good that's just not in our nature it's not when was the last Jewish player that kept but also won the the uh some type of other athletic award never even the few that succeeded that they claimed to be Jewish were either atheist or anti-god or completely secular meaning you can't do both so sending your kids to your baseball basketball football karate practices what you're doing is you're destroying your kid you're destroying the Judaism out of that kid you can't be Jewish and a karate Superstar at the same time can't the reason why is because you're telling them that going to karate two three times a a week for a few hours is more important than T you're telling them that to be like a Greek that fights in the in in the Coliseum is more important than one time Yeshiva Rabbi asked his young kids all six seven 8 years old who can tell me what's more more important than Shabbat no one raises their hand so the teacher is happy we just finished my kids finally got it I'm going to get a raise this year finally after 20 years of being in the school cuz my kids got the answer right until one little kid in the back rais his hand I know I know I know what's more important than Shabbat I know what's more important Shabbat the teacher just had like ruined his whole salary this guy okay no no what's more important than Shabbat I have a whole job to start all over with this kid he's thinking in his mind what he's thinking he's going to say y so have to teach that whole all over again why it's more important why shabbat oh he's thinking maybe he's gonna say he's thinking maybe he's gonna say what is he gonna say he's gonna say some other mitvah right that's what he's gonna say says okay son what what's more important than Shabbat what do you think is more important than Shabbat he says soup soup is more important than Shabbat all of a sudden the entire class of 50 kids they all turn around like soup we didn't learn this was Plan B what is this where' you find soup he says son where did you learn soup is more important than Shabbat goes at home I know that as soon as the soup is on the table my dad gets upset and the whole Shabbat is room because it's not hot enough so Shabbat is on hold as soon as he gets the soup and he's right in his house the father taught him not Shabbat he told him that soup is more important than Shabbat he taught him that soup is more important than Shabbat you send your kids to karate class to baseball class to football class to whatever class the dance class everyone wants to be a dancer you're not allowed to dance in public as a as a Jewish woman but you want to be a dancer now for who what are you dancing to you can't dance in public you dance in your wedding to your other friends okay so you going to learn dance for 20 years to dance one day fine wedding party and a divorce party I don't know how many times you going to dance how many times you going to dance everybody wants to be a for what I understand people are bored but there's plenty of things to do I mean finish the Tor finish the sh finish finish there plenty of Tora to learn you're never going to be born in your life but everyone wants to be a dancer karate star Soccer Star this star we all want to be Greeks what about being Jews anybody want to be a Jew does anybody want to be a Jew we tell our kids of soup is more important than shab but we have a problem we have a serious problem inisha a says that my father told me the soup is more important than Shabbat the exterior is more important than Shabbat and there are plenty of things that ruin our kids mind people say tell them listen you know really that rap music whether it's 50 Cent or it's Eminem or it's DMX or all these these people I used to listen to it too before I did chuba you have to stop listening to it and tell me what is it WR you're not allowed to listen to rap I said it's not it's not it's not really there's no chapter 210 30 not allowed to listen to Emin doesn't say it doesn't say it doesn't say it doesn't say it literally like that doesn't say it what does it say that I can't listen to this rap doesn't say it what does it say says you don't want to ruin your mind if you want to be a holy person says be holy because I am Holy you can't be holy if there's curse words in your head all day and I'm not even talking about you saying the curse words I'm talking about you hearing them thear says this thear says someone who says a curse word says a curse word once we're not talking about he says it every day you're not truck driver someone says a curse word one time if there was 70 years of blessings 70 years of blessing decreed on for him or her 70 years of blessings they said we're going to give him 7 years of blessings he's did we're going to give him and he says one curse in sh they could turn over the entire thing to 70 years of curses for what one curse now why do you think people curse do you ever hear somebody just invent the curse for no reason no they hear it where they hear it they hear it in music they hear it from their parents they hear it from other kids they hear it from school sometimes even their teachers they hear it so why are you going to feed it they're already hearing it as it is living in the world around us anyway it's not like you could stop it I mean unfortunately people curse unfortunately people have filthy mouths this has been one of my personal tiim from when I did chuba I had to fix it I thought it was no problem with cursing what's the big deal I even use it sometimes in business agreements talk and Wall Street if you don't curse you may not be a you may be a private investigator we don't believe you're one of us and Wall Street if you don't curse you're probably a Fed what do you mean you're not cursing you're probably in the SEC or the F or somebody or like FBI why don't you curse what's wrong with you so I have to fix this I I understand the feeling but hasem says it's filthy filthy disgusting not a representation of hasem not a representation of hasem can't talk like a truck driver can't talk like Wall Street can't talk like the rest of the world have to watch your mouth it's the same mouth that blesses me can't be cursing others so where do we get these curses from Number One Source music this is the reason why if I ever listen to music no lyrics I don't even trust any lyrics anymore just instrumental whatever instrumental you like I I decide to go with classical I don't know it Cals me pianos and stuff like that not like I listened to it that much before that I just that's the only thing I got like I'm not going to listen to rap or without the rap I don't want to even remind myself of the past I don't even want to remind myself of the past so even if I can listen I don't want listen to it why I already see myself thinking of the past if there's like somehow somebody turn the music on or there's a car next to me with the music blast think I'm already thinking oh 7 8 nine 10 years ago the song yet already is on fire you remember you went to the concert you went to this and you met this guy you went to this guy on fire just hearing it from another car but we give it to them no honey I bought you an album it's a new 50 Cent album it's the new uh Gish problem it's the nude CD it's a cost us $30 it's amazing amazing people can spend $30 on two CDs they're going to ruin your but $2 for two CDs to give youa they're not going to buy two CDs to give you for for for Torah to buy on a website they don't have $2 but $30 for garbage music to ruin ala we'll buy two of them one for my son one for my son's friend it's amazing how no one has any money for tah everyone's broke so rap music and all that type of music could be rock and roll and all that other stuff you have to you have to must think twice before you press play think three times before you allow your son or daughter or niece or nephew listen to that stuff it's nothing personal against the artist I feel bad for them you hear that most of them die because they become crazy become crazy they be Cal yes yes right now one of them he just died not just one a few a few the guy from uh from Lincoln Park and then his friend died three months before him they both killed themselves and there's a new one every other month it seems like everyone dies with $100 million bank account and that $100 million can't help them C rich material poor spiritual the other thing thing is is that I tell people listen says in the Torah that men and women need to be modest not just women men and women need to be modest a woman that's not modest is ruining our chances of having a shot a shot we're not even talking about a good a shot of actually being saved by mashiah a shot of actually having why because it's the most significant mitzvah for a woman is to be modest so they tell me oh what does it say that a woman can't wear pants what's the big deal of pants does it say anyway it can't wear pants yes it actually does in the book of Deuteronomy chapter 22 verse five says says male Garb shall not be on a woman and a man shall not wear a woman's garment for anyone who does so is an abomination of hasem it's disgusting to hasem so male garment until recent generation maybe about 60 years ago 70 years ago it was unheard of unheard of for a woman to wear pants if you want to go really far a 100 years ago you look at any pictures from 100 years ago it's not only do you never see a a woman wear pants but the type of dresses that they wore make every raban in the world seem me modest that's how modest they were the dresses were huge no one knew the figure no one know if she was fat or the dress is really big no one knew if she's skinny if she nothing you don't know just everyone look the same on the beach off the beach everywhere you go I went one time to the uh I was some type of government office in boaron and they had pictures on the wall of what boaron looked like in the early 1900s 100 years ago people on the beach now you would think everyone's naked I'm looking at pictures they're all go of pictures people that it looks like raban raban raban ra everyone's a raban why they have their head covered women not Jews head covered dresses are this big you can't tell who's Big who's small who's tall who's short everyone is as modest as can possibly be the thought of pants was not even an idea in that generation not even an idea why first and foremost it's clothing for men pants by definition they're clothing for men second they're not modest when a woman wears pants it simply you reveals her body now if a woman doesn't value herself she has to learn more to and eventually learn that she has to Value herself but she has to understand that in the eyes of her father her Creator she's a perfect diamond it doesn't matter if she's smart foolish tall short black white whatever you are in the eyes of hasem you're amazing you're a perfect flawless diamond now a perfect flawless diamond doesn't matter how many carrots it is it could be one carrot or a million carrots do make a difference it's something extremely valuable something extremely valuable is not exposed to the world you don't throw it in the air and say hey guys look I have a Priceless uh Diamond no you protect it you cover it so if you view yourself at least as well as hem looks at you protect your beauty it's not for the world to see so people always tell me oh no it's okay fine for women we understand they have to be modest but men where where it's uh where does it say in the Tor that men don't you know have to be modest well there's a few places in but the reality of it is these are nonstarter questions specifically says that a man is not allowed to be modest he's not allowed to do certain things that will lead him to to waste seed and so on and so forth but the reality of it is that just the questions themselves that people ask sometimes shows how far they are from being a Jew and how close they are to being a Greek the fact that every single question that you have you're provided an answer and that's still not enough you want another question another answer another question another answer nothing's ever enough you're constantly looking for like the gray area to justify your sins well con okay what well he said it's not allowed what about did somebody else say it is allowed because you know there's multiple opinions what he's not big enough for you he's not he didn't know the entire tah by heart it's not big enough for you to hold by him you want to look for one guy that you never even heard of and all of a sudden you're going to hold by all of his or just this one why we're dying to be Greeks in the next few weeks we're going to celebrate kanuka and kanuka is a very popular holiday both for the religious and the secular Jews and we all celebrate that we beat the Greeks the reality of it is that the Greeks right now in Gom they celebrate once a year they're in Gom but they celebrate once a year when kanuka why are they celebrating in kanuka they celebrating kanuka because they they say to themselves ah they think they won look at how they dress look at how much Sports they play all day look at how much Sports they watch all day they think they won the war 2,000 years later they're still in coliseums every Monday 2,000 years later they still want to look like us Act Like Us lift weights like us worry about the exterior like us they think they won and they're lighting candles for it once a year they celebrate and we don't even realize we lost we've become so Greek in some aspects that we forgot what it means to be a Jew we thought we we made the Greek custom a Jewish custom somehow tomorrow you have the American holiday non-jewish holiday of Thanksgiving and people are wondering if it's allowed to celebrate Thanksgiving the fact that this isn't a question is ridiculous the fact that this is actually a question is ridiculous and the reason why is because first of all if you look at all the pusim no one talks about it you look at all the Israeli P they don't talk about it you look at Europe no one talks about it and America is the American Pima are the only ones that talk about it then very very little now they asked from Moshe Feinstein Shalom are you allowed to eat turkey and so on and so forth he said yeah allowed to eat turkey every day of the year you don't need Thanksgiving for it but if it's a if it's a day where the go celebrate a specific day it's a different story but the question that we're asking is not the question that was asked for ra MOS Feinstein the question that people ask asking today when they say can we celebrate Thanksgiving is can we celebrate a national holiday with our national friends with our non-jewish friends can we go to their house can they come to our house can we have a meal among the Nations can we make a United Nations holiday peace among the Nations can we celebrate with the Greeks the Germans and the Romans and that you don't need to go as far as R mosha finds you could just open the not allowed it's not allowed it's not allowed number one it's a it's acting like the non-jews it's not a Jewish thing to do number two it can make one too comfortable with the non-jews to the extent where he starts eating their bread and then drinking their wine and then thear says marrying their daughters or or marrying their sons this is a problem into marriage doesn't just happen no one just one day is religious the next day he inter married it doesn't just happen it's not an accident it's not gas it's not you know no everybody every pretends they don't know what I'm talking about it's not it's not that it doesn't just happen it's something that's been happening for a while and and eventually it climaxes where does it start it starts at home starts with IM ABA if im ABA tell you that it's okay to watch everything you want to watch on television on the computer and everything else with no control no censoring no nothing you're doomed any parent that hates their kid should give their kid every single thing they want want and Tora says that in Proverbs if one is drawn to scuffers he'll scuff if one is drawn to Humble he'll find favor meaning says if you're going to hang out with clown CL s you'll become a clown one day if you're going to hang out with humble people you'll become humble one day if you let your kids watch all this garbage on television all this garbage on the internet people are worried only about the television they should also wor about the internet too I'm not saying you should put your kids into a box and make them look at walls all day because eventually they'll have to come out of the box so I also don't think that keeping them in a box is good either eventually they grow up have to see what's outside of the box and if the first time the kid sees what the world looks like is when he's 18 19 or 20 years old he explodes he doesn't have a builtup yet immune system he explodes he goes crazy he doesn't know what to do because the fact that you're telling him that certain things are not allowed is good for him if you're just hiding him in a hole it could potentially destroy him cuz he doesn't know what's good and what's bad he just knows what he has he's a caveman that's why a lot of times you see some of these so-called really really religious people become the worst people on Earth how what happened you kept them closed for so many years he never saw anything he just saw four walls one day you let them out all at once went crazy he went crazy who knows if he's ever going to come back so there's a there's a way and there's a way not saying that we're perfect at it or even know everything but the point is that there's a way and there's a way you have to use a little bit of Knowledge from the sages toah little common sense if you want your kids to have a chance of not going to the same tun we did and being forced to do chuva later on in their life you have to teach him M and all of the foundational stuff and the importance of toat when they're still young because at that moment whatever you teach them stays with them now even though we didn't grew up really religious there's a few mitv that I remember my parents taught me and till this day those few mitv are my favorite saying before I went to sleep say and putting the on the top of the piece of paper those few things as simple as they sound I learned them when I was little baby a little kid but all these decades later they're the most valuable to me why clean piece of paper clean piece of paper the ponich Shalom after the Holocaust he went looking for kids why you going look for kids he says because before the Holocaust unfortunately the Jewish parents ran out of choices to had to hide their kids so they sent them to seminaries they sent them to the Christians so the Christians you know if they knew they're Jews if everybody knew they're Jews they're going to kill them so we send them to the Christians so they'll hide among the Christians they won't know at least save their life so after the war the Christians didn't want to give them back the Christians didn't want to give the Jewish kids back so the rovic went to one of these uh big places with a bunch of kids there thousands of kids like go bring give me all the Jewish kids he goes no I don't know if there's any Jewish kids here and even if they were I don't remember who they are and I'm not going to give you Christian kids so you just go go somewhere else not here not here no no no give me five minutes I'll identify all the Jewish kids he go you identify all the Jewish kids they're six seven eight nine years old how you can identify they don't know anything you haven't they haven't seen their parents in five years how can I goes let me give me five minutes five minutes I'm not asking for research papers not five minutes I want no go ahead go he goes to the room where all the kids are he says hundreds of kids say im IM last time they heard was five years ago from who from IMA from their IMA from their mom they heard it f were two three years old they heard it they still remember it 5 years later and that saved them that saved them the Jews to this day that saved them teaching your kids that saved them why clean piece of paper clean piece of paper no stress nothing ruining it when I see my daughter my little two and a half Yee old daughter doing a blessing it's the greatest blessing in the world no one in the world has ever said a blessing like this kid she doesn't even know all the full words but the blessing she had 100% kavana it's unbelievable it's like the whole world stopping waiting for her D blessing she does the blessings of the world million bucks Every Blessing I'm telling you it's the greatest blessings in the world why clean piece of paper no rap no Greek no garbage nothing she's not closed in some room by herself my wife God bless her takes care of her what whatever she watches she makes sure that she's monitors any any type of programs to be educational everything with CDs we put on there to make sure she watches something that's educational and not just some garbage on some cable channel or something like that she she knows our entire alphabet she knows math already she knows math already she knows alphabet she a smart kid too but aside from that we're not watching just for the sake of watching to just occupy time you have to be very careful with these kids whatever you teach them can M save their eternity it could save their eternity or ruining it who's telling us this Elisha he's the prime example he says I learned to my whole I learned more to than all of you combined all of you combin your entire life you can learn to it's still not going to be like myself included times 10 all of us could learn to we start here we don't leave we start learning to learn to the rest of our life A Thousand Years still not going to be like a thousand years we're not going to learn why he knew he says I knew the I knew all T I went to sh you even know how to sto sh he went to Sham he started seeing stuff seeing angels we think of angels a cartoon or something he saw angels he's telling you what ruined me what Abba taught me when I was a little kid he told me that materialism is important he told me to be a soccer player is important he told me that to play video games is important he told me that to win in the karate match is important to watch wrestling matches is important money is important he taught me money is important you know how many parents tell their kids money is important they make their little kids businessmen already at 3 four 5 6 years old the kid drops this I see this all the time I see this all the time unfortunately kid drops a no one says anything kid drops a on AIG on on the floor you know accident falls on the floor no one says anything everyone's very lethargic wait for him to pick it up sometimes he doesn't pick it up sometimes he picks it up and he just puts it back on a table even though it broke it or whatever but Shalom he dropped aba's phone on the floor hey what are you doing you have to be careful it's aba's phone it's $800 was dropped on the floor you didn't say a word say in it Shem AEM is in it he didn't say a word nothing he didn't say the phone the iPhone the iPhone fell in the the floor you wanted to take the kid's head off are we Greek or are we Greek and you expect your kid to be what what video games or iPhones what's he going to be you're ruining him why are you making him think that the iPhone is more important than when you teach a kid tah it's like engraving engraving something into his n when you teach it to an adult it's like writing engraving becomes part of whatever you wrote it on writing is always something you can ruin and eventually wears off and that's the other thing that Elisha says he says you know who the child is you know who the child's parents are by how he speaks in the market page 56 says we know who the parents are what kind of parents they are not who they are by name or by face but we know what kind of parents a person has just by seeing their kids talking in the market Market why in the market that's when people talk like freely so when a when parents are actually educating their kid the number one most important thing that they realize is I want to make sure that kid never has to do chuva he lives a life of chuva he never has to do chuva every day he do Chua because Chua is part of Judaism it's one of the MIT of the T you want to be a righteous Jew you want to to to save you you want all the blessings you do TR every day because there no such thing as a Jew doesn't sin or a person who doesn't sin in general even if they doesn't make a difference everyone sins to some extent you have to do Chua every day but to do chuva versus live chuva is two different things du cha is like one day you woke up and you realized you were wrong living a life of chuva living a life of chuva is different different that means you have AEM in your mind at all times so says to live a life of chva you have to make sure that you make the Torah part of you now the problem is that sometimes you don't wake up until you're late like us you're 30 years old you're 20 years old you're 50 years old you're 60 years old like is or Jerry on Sunday 65 years old you're starting to do Chua 65 it's never too late but it's a different Torah same Torah but it's different Torah why because now it's a little more difficult now says what's the Torah of studying of an old man it's like ink being written on smudged paper meaning the first and foremost in order for you to accept the tah you have to smudge you have to erase what's already on it all the garbage you've been taught for 20 30 40 50 65 years you have to erase it first you can't put the purity of Torah on top of your garbage and expect it to stay what is it like if FX for example you want to put on a a top of a uh of a kitchen a new top I think I tell you listen remove the old top clean the surface clean the surface and put the new top with it's granite or for Mica whatever it is clean the surface put the new top finished now if you do it without cleaning you remove it and you put the new top on short period later what's going to happen it's going to fall and break but you said why put it on top I did half the job what's the big deal it won't stick it won't stick unless you clean the surface first the Torah won't stick unless you clean all the garbage first unless you remove all the all the heresy out of your mind you can't continue learning from the New Testament and go through conversion you can't continue to learn about stuff that goes against hem and say I'm doing chuva you can't watch sports every night and saying no I want to go to on Tuesday it's not going to help you why because that one day that one sh is going to give you fire for another day for another two days for another week even but as soon as you turn on stuff that's against theem on TV it ruined everything five minutes later five minutes after you went to three hours you come home you turn on the TV you put on Sports you put on some uh disgusting movie that has nudity in it and all types of stuff five minutes you came back from you had attend the you went home you put on some type of movie you ruin the entire everything's gone everything's in garbage was better off you didn't come to the better off you didn't come why cuz maybe you would have been sleeping by then and you wouldn't have watched that disgusting movie so a person needs to understand that when they're older it's much more difficult to learn T you already have a lot of garbage to deal with but the other P finalize it with this the other p is the following it says a lot of people always ask how is it that some people advance in Torah much faster than others why they all smarter all the time but intellect has to do with everything the reality of it is intellect has nothing to do with it if you learn about the rambam the rambam himself writes about himself that his family considered him a fool for many years he knew nothing his brothers were and him as a kid nothing nothing special at all if anything below average and they mocked them they mocked them and they mocked them and one day he went to theet and he cried all night next toes he cried all night next toes begging hasem to open up his mind now which one of you knows the names of the rambam's brothers exactly the point the rambam became the rambam they they became nothing it has nothing to do with intellect has to do with has to do with sacrifice what are you willing to sacrifice to fulfill the will of hem what are you willing to sacrifice to fulfill the will of hem says if you want to earn T you must be willing to sacrifice your life M if you understood what the Torah really is is you wouldn't have a problem it wouldn't be such like to you right now you're hearing this like this guy crazy what would become Isis we become Palestinian start suicided no we're not talking about that but sacrificing your life means that desires this world the Greek mentality all that stuff gone you hear something is not allowed you don't do it why you have toah and even before you have tah you have toah in your mind said I want to get it if this is going to get in my way finished if she's going to get in my way finished if he's going to get in my way finished if the music is going to get in my way finished food's going to get in my way finished whatever it is going to get in my way to actually fulfill the will of hem finished I'm not doing it again I'm not doing it if every time I eat and become sleepy I'm just not going to eat as much I'm going to eat just enough to survive why I want Le if every time I hang out with my friends it ends up being a big waste of time I'm not going to hang out with my friends anymore I have one friend if every time I do something it ruins my sh it ruins my T I'm not doing it anymore why that's that's you're removing your your taking out the Greek from within you now in order to do that the Mish here is telling you in order for you to get to that mindset you have to think of a kid you can't think like an adult why an adult has too much complication in his head everything is a big deal everything is a consideration oh let me think about it let me weigh my options I'll get back to you next week let me talk to my spouse let me see what my friends think there's so many considerations everything's a big deal oh I'll get back to you give me a few months let me get used to it he's got so much garbage in his head to make the smallest decision of what to eat takes 20 minutes one of the I was telling my wife the other day honestly one of the main thing could do me a big big big mitvah big I don't ever want to go out to eat anywhere to go pick up like fast food or anything I don't want to go like we let's I'll pay somebody extra just to deliver it so I don't have to do it why I know for me if I go to a place I look at the menu 25 minutes why am looking at this thing how is this going to taste is it going to be good I'm imagining myself eating the sh I'm imagine myself eating the steak now ah steak's not that good I'm imagining Myself eat the burger no I don't want the burger now with the ketchup no no imagine myself eat every single thing on the menu it's 25 minutes by the time I finish the menu I'm full already it's 25 minutes just picking the food who wants to waste that kind of time you know much to I can learn 25 minutes wife don't leave the house except to see you guys so you have to think like a kid what does it mean think like a kid kid get excited you give a kid a new toy you give a kid you could give a kid a rock if the first time he saw the rock he's as excited as can be he's going to do a The Rock became a spaceship the rock is a superhero the rock is mosenu the rock is it's it's amaz if you give a kid the ability to use his imagination a rock is the greatest thing in the world uh whatever toy it is that's why it's a foolish thing to buy kids many toys why you're just in essence ruining their imagination that's why I see for my own kids you have 20 toys let's say what do they pick the only thing that allowed to touch some I don't know some dust somewhere or some button that fell on the floor it's not one of the toys it's the only it's the most uninteresting thing in the world that's what they pick the want to play with why cuz there with the button or the rock or whatever it is they can use their imagination so all the parents that buy their kids stuff like every other day you're just ruining your kid you're just going to have a bunch of brand new toys that they used once and then they never again parents always think it's a good thing to buy kids a lot of toys it's not greatest thing is for a kid to use imagination as an adult you don't even know what an imagination is anymore you forgot being a kid this Mish says you have to be a kid meaning you have to get excited how do you get excited you have to remove that ego of yours you have to remove that ego that has all the consideration and all the thoughts and all the negotiation between the and the and you have to think about you have to do this when I have time when I don't have time but I'm so busy and I'm so stressed out and I got to make money and I have a show on and I have a this and all the different things says you're never gonna get to that way you're never gonna get to you have to be clean piece of paper you know it's to act like it's a clean piece of paper that's the main thing that destroys people a lot of people could learn Tor they open the books the books they open there's no problem it's not a special uh code to open a book there's plenty of people that have been opening books for decades decades they've opened books they have libraries in their house and they've read many of the books you asking give me a Torah give me a Torah two minutes they can't tell you but you read all the books you have 500 books in your house give mear Torah for Shabbat Shabbat table give me Torah nothing mute nothing they don't have anything or if they have something it's always an original thought it's always a thought that no one in the world has ever said Rashi disagrees with it rambam disagrees with it the Pim dis it's no one it's always like the whole world is wrong and now he arrived he has a for the world that disagrees with everyone so if anyone forgot from previous sh if your contradicts any of the even from the previous generation we're not even talking about 800 or 900 years ago or 2,000 years ago if your contradicts Rashi if your contradicts R it's not a k it's an error there's no K it's an error it's a mistake you will never be right and Rashi wrong you will never be right and rambam wrong never never ever ever it's impossible for it to happen why you are closer to a monkey than them with all due respect I am too we have no idea who these people are I'll give you an idea I'll give you an idea one time there was a man named Rak he wasn't exactly a rabbi but they called him RAB poor is dirt but righteous as poor can possibly be he studied his tah he did his business but what could he do nothing nothing nothing was paying nothing was doing as poor as can possibly be and one day one day it gets to a point of mamash starvation it gets to a point of M like they have no food it gets to a point of starvation it gets to a point of no food suffering stuff but he's not worried about that what is he worried about he's worried about that for almost two decades that he's been married to his wife they haven't had a son they haven't had a child the only thing they can think about day and night is having a child and they can't have a child so sad praise to Hashem but what else could he possibly do one day the poverty continues you know in those days it's either you extremely rich few or your poorest can possibly be there was no middle class one day he finds a stone in the field he doesn't know much about stones but he brings it to his wife his wife brings the stone to the local expert local expert says this is a Priceless Stone this is something that's you have no idea this you're you're you're the richest people in in in the country forget about in the town he take a couple thousand dos to buy groceries and do whatever it is that you want but this is a stone that I'm more than happy to sell for you if you give me the uh the honor to sell it for you please obviously them striking Rich overnight wonderful apparently this story is important enough for the to arrive three times in he's sitting also so the guy puts it on the market little by little people come in to see wow this precious stone beautiful but no one can afford it one day they get a couple of Messengers from a different country say yes the king of some country one of the uh he's looking for a specific Stone and uh we want the uh owner of this stone is perfect is perfect for what he's looking for so where's the owner oh the owner isi hey I'll bring him here okay listen we're leaving tomorrow morning you're going to come meet our King and uh I'll give you whatever you want for this Stone cuz he needs it cuz it just the uh this was the eye in in his statue so be knows he doesn't have much of a choice here if he says I'm not going they're gonna kill him so now his wife doesn't have a kid or a husband if he says yes and he goes to this King he's going to be partnered to he's partnered to he doesn't know what to do he prays to hasem to give him something to do something the next day they go on they go on a boat he has the stone in his hand the whole time he doesn't know what to do what to do what to do they're on a boat the sea starts rocking and he gets a brilliant idea I'm going to throw the stone in the water he throws the stone in the water makes it pretend as if it fell out of his hand and then he pretends like he went crazy for losing the stone they arrive at the seashore like oh where's the guy with the stone we heard you wrote us letters where the guy with the stone we heard is the stone go no no it's this guy goes what do you mean it's there a drunk he's a he's a crazy person this guy cuz no no you don't understand this guy don't even touch him don't even bother with this guy poor guy he's had a Priceless $20 million stone and he just lost it don't even touch him like we already feel bad enough for him put him on the next boat to go back to wherever he came from troice they put him on the boat they send him home as soon as he comes home he gets off the boat this old man right off the boat covered up comes up come closer to him closer to him and closer to him and Clos to him and then grabs him really fast he goes you are going to have a son that's going to light the world because you took something that was worth Priceless to man but was against Hashem and he says that his eyes were like that diamond and when he came home he told his wife I believe I just saw aah Nai and their son that was born a year later his name is Rashi that's that's can any of us that have food to eat have roofs over our head not worried about lunch tomorrow or dinner next week would you give up 20 30 $50 million just to Shalom not be partner of ab that you can't even see or you just make pretend like you didn't see it and you don't know it's happening ah it's their business whatever they're doing I just sold them the diamond what do I care what they do with it that's the Greek in us that's the asav in US says no it's what's my problem what they're doing with the rock what's my problem what they do with this what's my problem it is your problem you're not thinking with a pure mind you're thinking with the you're thinking with the Elisha Aya says that mindset is what ruined him despite his father knowing a ton of Tor he was too materialistic that materialism infected the Sun that materialism eventually ruined the Sun that materialism eventually got the son Elisha B Aya to be called a meaning he's excluded from the nation the good news for Elisha is after he died right before he died got him to do chuva right before he died the problem is that he still wasn't able to fix the sins he still went up to Sham without fixing the sins so the sages say that when he went up to Sham they said listen G we can't let you in you murdered you violated Shabbat you did all these terrible things okay you said I'm sorry before you died but you still have shabat on your account you still have murder on your account you still ate t on your account you still went a prostitute on your account you didn't fix those things you didn't have enough time to do chuva you said I'm sorry before you died great so that's why you're here and that's why we're even considering you but you still have those sins you still didn't do full TR so you can't enter G on the other hand you can't go to Gom why you have to have Merit to go to Gom because six out of the seven Parts end at some point you made enough sins your sins won't end they won't end but you have Torah so we can't let that tah just go to nothing the to is worth Priceless we don't know what to do with you so we're going to send you to Ka we're going to send you to a place that just is pure suffering with no end in in sight until someone figures out what to do with you was in his student so was in sh he says when I die I'm G to put him I'm going to fight in sh I'm GNA put him in G myself so when RAB May a student that loved him dearly died they started seeing smoke coming out of Elisha B Aya's grave for years for 150 years smoke was coming out of the Grave one day SE smoke coming out of the Grave said what is this what is this grave why why is there smoke he tell the whole story says me 10 and it's gonna fight me who's who's going to fight me when I die to get him out of G someone has so much to I'm going to get him out of G who's going to fight me and when he died the smoke stopped meaning that he took him out of Gom why he suffered enough he did CH and on top of it he had the marit of and which are technically both his students so the good news for ELA is his Torah at the end saved him suffered for a long time but his Torah saved him the bad news is neither a be Oran are going to be there to fight for us only we can only we can do CH for ourself only we can do favor to our children and to our spouses and to the world around us and teach them how to not be a Greek to teach them how to be a clean piece of paper absorb the Torah don't be so stubborn that if you didn't hear it you don't want to accept it the problem with people today is that if they didn't hear it they assume it's wrong if they never thought about it they assume it's cannot be this is one of the things that that ruins us as Jews this is one of the things that ruins us as parents kid tells you something you don't want to hear because you never heard it before this also ruins us as spouses M whose father he was giant but before BEC a giant he was rebuked by a six-year-old daughter Miram she told them you made a decree for everyone to stop having kids to get divorces because you're seeing that is killing all the firstborn Sons so you're saying might as well get divorced you don't have intimacy with the wife so therefore you're not going to have any kids so therefore par not going to kill anyone and his six-year-old daughter is telling him ABA I know you but you're worse than Paro cuz he's only killing the boys you're killing boys and girls he is a which means that in Shai maybe what he says won't come true you're sadik what you say is going to come true do you think he listened she's 6 years old imagine 6 years old come tells you what to do because he was he listened why because it's true it doesn't matter where it comes from if it's true it's true it doesn't make a difference where it comes from that's what we learned from the about it doesn't make a difference that he went off the this specific m is still right he's the best example Le to give this mishna he says listen what you teach your kids it's going to hold true forever it's engraved in them forever I'm the prime example they ruined me before I even knew how it could get ruined they made money important to me before I even knew what money was look what happened to me they told me I'm supposed to go learn to because of fire because of uh all types of Fame and Fortune look what happened the fact that he went up to death is irrelevant it's true it's in the mishna the fact that the zon is a zon she's a sinner against theem is irrelevant she proved that Shabbat is more important than anything else point is we learn this time and time again what distinguishes the Torah from any other book whether it's the foolishness of Christianity or the even bigger foolishness of Islam or the pure stupidity of Buddhism or the disgustingness of all the different Indian religions that were right now they made the poop of cows into soap because they worshiped the cows like the stupidity had it was a stock the price would be Infinity it wouldn't stop going up it's every week we discover stupidity at new Highs but some there are millions and millions of people that follow this millions of people we're not talking about five 10 20 people there are millions and millions billions of people are following this stupidity it's time for us to stop acting like them it's time for us to stop acting like them it's funny that they're making poop of a cow into something valuable but some of the things we do are no different when we tell our kids the karate class or soup or the baseball game or the football game or the job or money is more important than what Hashem said it's no different it's no different this is wrong and this is wrong it's time for us to start acting like Jews this is a wake up call for all of us to fix ourselves to do Chu to live a life of CH and help and the rest of world do any questions given the situation [Music] of I've heard people say things like my son is going to be a big Rabbi right the child is not even in or doing anything that's putting them on the way that's just the parents goal for the child is that I me what the kids's two years old you mean could be older but the kid they're not doing anything about the kid being a big Rabbi but they say that he's going to be a big Rabbi I mean this is just a parent trying to express their love but at the same token also trying to show off what they think is very valuable uh to the world they think that they uh their son is very valuable to them and uh uh you know they believe that the Torah is valuable or at least they're they're acting like it is by words they're saying that the two are good match and therefore over time it's it's you know they'll the kids's going to succeed in it the reality of it is that the the parents that usually have their children become really big don't say stuff like that you know the parents that actually have you know kids that succeed in life don't put that stuff into their mind you know in general success is not something that's you have to be convinced to do success is something that happens as a result of hard work if you keep telling your kid you know that you're going to succeed you're going to succeed you're going to succeed that's not going to make him succeed make get him stressed out but it's not going to get him to succeed you know what's going to get him to succeed is getting him to get used to being a hard worker so that's one of the things that's forgotten in this generation people think that just because you look a certain way you're going to be a famous movie star just because you have a good memory when you're six that means you're going to be a big scientist when you're 16 or 26 or 36 that people assume that certain things happen because of your natural uh skills that you're born with and really they don't have enough value on hard work and really the most important asset that a person could have is hard work regardless of what they want to succeed in so when parents just try to say things like that out loud really doesn't mean much it's not uh first of all it's I don't think it's very good for the kid um and two I don't think it's good for the parent if the if it's potentially true and the kid let's say is gifted let's say the kid is extra smart and they're saying yeah my kid's extra smart he's going to be they're putting on a kid they're putting a on a kid and they're also doing something that's no different than what AVU did to Elisha if they cared about Torah they wouldn't care about whether he's going to be or not they care about him being a period someone that really loves hem doesn't care about is he going to be the biggest in a generation or not someone that loves T that loves hem just cares about is my son going to be koser or not if hem givs him the uh of being great but that's not what we're worried about we're worried is is my son going to be kosher is my son going to keep Shabbat is my son going to you know learn toah every day that's what you're supposed to be worried about some parents are are foolish where they they're worried that their son is not like an extra scholar um if he's religious if he keeps Shabbat if he eats kosher he goes to be every day you should already say in a generation of 7 and A2 billion almost 8 billion people actually 8 billion people two or three million of them actually keep T out of the two and three million that keep not necessarily all of them have full your son is one of them that has actually and you're upset you're upset your son is one and8 billion and you're upset because he's not R there something wrong with you so let's put things where they belong first and foremost if he's gifted keep your mouth shut why put a on him why putting stupidity in your own head number two if you keep telling the kid you're gifted you're gifted you're gifted you could potentially cause him to become lazy that's why there is a you know there's a talks about how there's an angel that teaches you the entire tah when you're still in your mom's belly so before the baby is born an angel that same Angel hits him on a lip and he forgets everything now it's still in him but he has to learn it all over again that's why sometimes a Jew will learn to like wait I remember this but he never learned it so that's because he's in essence it's all in him already and it's just that he forgot it so now sometimes it's happened several times in recent generation the most recent time that I know of happened maybe about 40 years ago 40 maybe 50 years ago um there was a kid that was actually born remembering the entire T it was actually a kid that was a was in the same school as U so almost 70 years ago 70 something years ago um they were in the same school and that kid was born he remembered the entire T so the teacher went and you know first grade or whatever it was and the kid continued saying the entire by heart and he says says and he continu saying the entire by heart said M everything they started saying the first two words he said the entire thing by heart so in the time of of again he says that he kept it and he he still he lives in N I think still to this day the other one that happened more recently maybe 30 40 years ago whatever it was the didn't want him to to keep it they said it's not beneficial for him and they made him forget it point being is that the reason why they made him forget it even though I think it would be the greatest proof in the world that the Torah is real whatever they have their own wisdom and that's fine it's you know I'm not going to doubt them but point is is that it's a um if someone learns Their Fear was that if someone already knows the entire tor by heart they're not going to want to fulfill the mitvah of toiling of toiling in the to and working hard to learn more because he already knows everything what do he learning then he knows the whole thing by heart what is he going to teach him again he knows it so he's not going to fight to learn more it could make him someone that potentially could be you know if he doesn't have fire in him could potentially be a big waste so that's why they they didn't want it to continue happening so the point being is that if a parent keeps telling their kid you're gifted you're gifted you're gifted you're the best you're the best the best yes it's good to give them some confidence but overdoing it you could potentially make the kid lazy cuz he's going to get into his own his own mind I'm so good I don't even need to study I'm so good I'm so smart I don't even need to study why should I do it that's also one of the bad things for example but in sports I remember that uh I used to play football in high school uh and uh there was a couple of kids that Talent were really talented they were very fast very big very this and you know people would tell them that and they were the worst kids on the team why were the worst kids on the team they never wanted to come to practice because he said listen everybody's giving me so many compliments they already tell me that the colleges want me they already tell me that this is it and those kids ended up becoming the biggest losers on the team they were good players they were Talent they had Natural Born talents but they became the biggest losers in life and the reason why is because people told them too many things too many compliments to the point that they they don't have to work for it anymore so over complimenting is also a bad thing what else what the consider respect goes to the atti for a Jewish man mhm so along those line what would be considered modest versus for a men I mean a man needs to in general men and women need to wear loose clothing they shouldn't wear clothes that's too tight um so in general most men clothing until this last couple of years have been loose fitting uh so that's one loose fitting clothing so you know it's it's in general regardless of whether it's a man or a woman it's even more so for a woman obviously second thing is to look respectable is that if let's say for example you were to meet a king of Flesh and Blood you'd look respectable enough to meet him okay you don't necessarily need to always wear the best suit because you can't wear your best suit every single time but you look respectable enough where you don't look like you just came out of the garbage unless that's your job if you're at work you're at work but outside of that outside of your work if that's your work you look respectable uh so in today's world and it's been so already for probably two centuries suits have been the uh the clothing for men that represented respect and represented honor has nothing to do with gu it's just the world has evolved in the Middle East until recent Generations it used to be like the turban things like that if you still live there you should wear those that if you live in the western world and the rest of the world that's wear suits then you wear suits or you at least wear a uh dress shirt and dress pants in general I mean it's allowed for a man to wear short sleeves not necessarily tank up but just short sleeves in general it's allowed um but again there's a time and a place for it if you're praying or or you're learning you should do it with full sleeves if you're just hanging around the house and you want to wear short sleeve you can you can it's not forbidden if you want to be extra holy then you don't you know it depends depends on a different person but overall it should be you should look respectable in front of at all times and you know if you were in front of a king of kings um so that's that's one important thing um make sure that you're clean in general a lot of sometimes people forget to clean their clothes or clean themselves make sure that they have good hygiene they brush their teeth they take showers you know they they're they're clean they're not a where sometimes you have people think that it's aah to be smelly they don't take a show shower the whole week they go to mik once a week and it's disgusting aside from it being disgusting for other people that sit next to them to experience it's disgusting in the eyes of hem because it's it makes the Torah look disgusting it makes the Torah look like Torah is telling to be smelly so if you are in the times of Alisha when people didn't necessarily take showers every day and that body odor wasn't necessarily the uh the same thing as it was today it's different but in the world today it's not acceptable so you also have to acclimate to the things that are permissible adapt to the things that are permissible and stay away from things that are not permissible there are certain things that are permissible certain things that are not permissible you know so it's it's it's important to use common sense important to see and ask your Rabbi based on what their knowledge is based on what theor have said uh and most important thing I believe as far [Music] [Applause] [Music] he [Music]