The Meaning of Coronating Hashem on Rosh Hashanah

hashem today monday and thursday we're going to learn a special sister of the rabbi that's on rosh hashanah and also to remind you that tomorrow which is tuesday at 12 45 we're going to have a woman's class we're back in live we're back live in person we started last week in beijing that will be 12 45 it will also be streamed for those who can't make it physically that's 20 for shay wrote in muncie or you could watch it live okay so uh oh please open your source sheet if you're on zoom you can open it on the chat if you're watching us on [Music] youtube or on the yoshiva.net you'll see when you go to the home page there's a green bar live classes monday morning and that has the source sheet this is from lakute sikhais we're going to be learning today is from la cote siche volume 4 page one one four four eleven forty four you'll see middle of the page there's a title rosh hashanah this is a uh this is from a talk that was delivered a secret a presentation a sermon a shir that was presented by the labacher on rosh hashanah and simcha thompson that would be around september 1962. it was rosh hashanah at the fabregan of rosh hashanah and then later a follow-up at the fabregan of sukkah as i said 1962 the end of 62 in the hebrew it would be taushan khafigh which would be 5 7 23. so let's begin rosh hashanah it's a yiddish it's a yiddish would usually speak in yiddish but i'll translate and elucidate and explain to the best of my ability base russia aleph says this is a verse in yeshaya perik nunhei isaiah chapter 55 and it's a very very famous passage it's the haftarah that we recite on a fast day and we recite it in the slither some of the slithers some gidaya others dear hashem which literally means search out hashem when he is present call out to him when he is close so the gemara asks the question what does this mean search for god when he's present and call out to him when he's close god is always present god is always close how could he be far so ghazal tell us that this is actually referring to or alluding to a particular season of the year it's the ten days between the shashana yem kippur dasan and sen tag those are unique days that are charged with special significance and meaning and energy and opportunity that we say seek out hashem when he's present call out to him when he's uniquely accessible uniquely close even though he's always present and always close but eilua saruyam these ten days that begin with rosh hashanah and end on yom kippur we call them the ten days of trivia the ten days of repentance this year it's gonna begin next week rosh hashanah and then continues through mkhitaryan these 10 days between him kippur those are the days that the navi the prophet yeshaya navi isaiah the prophet alludes to when he speaks about seek out hashem when he's present call out when he's close there seems to be something grammatically amiss here that the laboratory is going to take note of at the surface it seems like just a small little nuanced technical issue as we will see there's a very nuanced detail contains within itself the opening the vista the gate the portal to be able to dissect a deeper message in adam razal in this language and this terminology employed by razal razales rabbei our sages are teachers of blessed memory there seems to be a paradox let's remember the words of ghazal and this is by the way from assassin as he says in footnote 2 attracted rosh hashanah page 18 a so sony vomits explaining that when is hashem uniquely present the 10 days it refers to the 10 days between rosh hashanah do you hear the issue do you hear the issue in the language of the language is the term used by our sages in the gemara is these are the ten days between rishishan kippur between rosh hashanah kipper intimidation themselves are outside of these days if you say i'm going to meet you between two or between two o'clock excuse me i'm going to meet you between rosh hashanah and yom kippur or between any two dates that you want to uh refer to so the what does it sound like rosh hashanah and kipper themselves are not included in those dates these are the 10 days between rosh hashanah and kippur so they begin after rosh hashanah and they continue till the end kippur yeshua am kipper themselves are excluded from them but between rosh hashanah and kippah there are only seven days because rosh hashanah is two days yum kippur is one day so the ten days of chuva begin with rosh hashanah and end with jim kipp if you actually look at rosh hashanah and him kippur themselves as being excluded and you look at the days in between shebane you only have seven days but the ghazal speak about ten days between rosh hashanah so we have here a serious we have here a real problem in the language they could have said these are the 10 days from rosh hashanah through yum kippur that would make perfectly sense they don't say that they say these are the ten days in between rosh hashanah this is the paradox de la shadow is addressing when you say in between it sounds like rosh hashanah and yom kippur themselves are not part of this unit on the other hand you said ten days between kipper we can't invent new days on the calendar that don't exist that means you're including rosh hashanah yum keeper which one is it right it's so most people look at it and say okay i don't know it's it's maybe you gotta fix maybe it's a printing mistake but it's not it's just an expression but the expression seems difficult to understand again it seems like a paradox either they're included or they're excluded you can't have it both ways logically muslim and zagat so the rebbe continues how how do we how do we deal with this so you have to conclude that industrial our sages were intimating and in their inimitable style and extremely nuanced style of presentation and expression they were teaching us that the shoshone and kippur each of them have two dimensions what is each of them has an essential intrinsic theme that belongs to it itself their own core which is not about truth it's not about repentance in addition to that rosh hashanah and him kippur are also part of a unique unit of 10 days that embody the theme of truth of repentance this this paradigm this way of understanding it answers the paradox is the system is first you address first you appreciate first you internalize the essential theme of rosh hashanah vis-a-vis itself and then the second concept of rosh hashanah as part of the unit of the ten days of truth is used this enigmatic language the 10 days between to intimate that first comes the work of rosh hashanah itself in other words the avoider the server the service the life that emerges from the essential theme of rosh hashanah vis-a-vis itself following that comes the second element of rosh hashanah and that is it's part of one of the 10 days of trigger so here we reconcile the question and let's explain khazal say these are the 10 days between rosh hashanah and yom kippur so we ask the question it's not between it's from rich hashana why couldn't they just say it clearly ten days from nishishan natalyam kippur the answer is if they would say it that way you would be missing the point you would be missing a major point because you would think there's just one unit of ten days of chiva that begins with rosh hashanah and ends with the conclusion of yam kippur because i want to tell you something else rosh hashanah and kipper have two aspects one is rosh hashanah vis-a-vis itself kippah vis-a-vis itself has a unique theme outside of the realm of truva we're going to explain what that is yum kipper also we call him kipper it's a day of atonement but he says even yom kippur has a unique independent theme that is essential to itself beyond it being one of the ten days of truth and in that sense stand outside of the 10 days due to this unique individual theme that belongs to rosh hashanah itself not only rosh hashanah is part of these ten days just like every single day has its own unique quality besides it being a unit of a week or a unit of a month or a unit of a year we're now in the month of ello right so every day has an element that it's part of l it's part of a unit but it's also its own unique day just like in everybody's life there's certain things you do every single day you brush it we brush our teeth every day just like sunday or monday or tuesday or wednesday in that sense it's one day that's similar to any other day on the other hand there's also unique things that belong to this day and this time of the year so the rabbit says this is what the khazal are saying this is the element of rajashananyam kippur that belong only kip to in that sense the days of truva exclude rosh hashanah kippur because roshana and kipper have a theme that transcends the concept of truth in addition to that there's a second dimension to rosh hashanah they're part of the unit of 10 days in that sense they're included within the unit of 10 days in order to bring out this very subtle nuance cause i'll say it briefly and concisely by saying these are the 10 days between rosh hashanah and kipper in other words there's an aspect in which they're included because it's ten days so they have to be included on the other end we're saying in between because we want to say there's an aspect of china but it's not part of the unit they have their own theme and that comes first and then after that comes the ten days between rishi-sanayam kepu which is focusing on rosh hashanah as part of the unit of truth this is true about the immigration like he says in foot note four the can be am kippi and kipp has these two things i'm reading footnote 4. there is the essential message of yom kippur which transcends chuva and then there's the concept of um and the essential message of yam kippur comes after you have the unit of ten days of truth as he will explain later in the yem kiprada kasirkha which i hope to get to blinder we actually started it last year i don't think we finished it now the question is what what does all of this mean this is the introduction what does it really mean what does it mean there's the rosh hashanah vis-a-vis itself and rosh hashanah as part of a unit of base chuva is chuva is something that transcends there's something about it that reaches higher deeper as we will see than all of the commandments was the language that's why chuva has a unique power it can repair it can fix all of the blemishes that may exist in a person blemishes as a result of me engaging in something that is inappropriate or me abstaining from something that is important and it creates a garment creates some type of blemish and yet shiva can fix that blemish how if i really did not do this mitzvah that was so important or furthermore i transgressed this myth which was so important so now we say that truva comes and can fix it all it can cleanse you bleach you whiten you remove every stain but how does that happen if there's a real blemish here there's a blemish so from here we see that sugar is higher than all the mitzvahs in other words triva has some very deep potency it has some very deep power that it can fix all the blemishes that were caused as a result of mitzvahs or the lack of them there's something about truman that reaches into a deeper place in the person and a deeper place in reality deeper than anything so true is an incredibly powerful idea because it means i did the wrong thing or i didn't do the right thing and maybe for a very long time and that has consequences it has results there are ramifications to that and then comes truva and removes all the problems transforms the person cleanses the person may even elevate him or her to even a deeper place so this means that truva has something in it a secret as we're going to explain that goes deeper than the mitzvahs because if not how could it do accomplish this that all the mitzvahs can't if i don't do them it's i'm missing something and we say no that's tilt true but once you did shiva you're good to go you're uh you're good really wow so trooper has some that no mitzvah has a mitzvah i have to do and if i don't do it i didn't do it there's no way of getting around it and if i did and if i actively did something that i shouldn't do i did something i shouldn't do we call it a navarro we call it a transgression and yet trevor comes and says no it's not a transgression anymore what do you mean it is shiva has something that's deeper than all the mitzvahs fascinating he says in footnote 5 it's wonderous why did they rambam the great codifier not include the mitzvah of truva in the number of the 630 mitzvahs perhaps what we just said can give an explanation because chuva is higher than the mitzvos and it encompasses all of them and he continues and he says in the introduction says that mitzvahs that are all encompassing let's say it says in the torah you should keep all the mitzvos it's not counted in the number of 613 the number of things underneath includes only individual mitzvahs that deal with a specific act a specific thought a specific word specific emotion a specific experience so the rebbe says since chuva is higher than all the mitzvahs and chuva includes all the mitzvos because truva helps for any mitzvah that was not done any mitzvah that was violated triva helps in other words it includes all the mitzvahs perhaps that's why the rama doesn't mention it as one of the mitzvahs you could say it does require a certain specific action called chuva the rambam doesn't mention general mitzvahs when they don't require a specific behavior it says in the terror do all the mitzvahs so the ramadan doesn't mention this because there's nothing nothing to say about it because there's no specific action but it does have a specific way a specific formula how you do it he says that's true but chuva has two components to it the first is a little blurry indian the main idea of true which is a resolution for the future of how i'm going to live with terraria to you that's like the mitzvah be holy based allah of our remorse for that's like the mitzvah your backbone your nape should not be hard any longer and these two mitzvahs to be holy and not to be stubborn are general mitzvahs what is unique about this confession this is a parenthetical so now let's go to the next paragraph i just was reading the footnote height bald actually the middle of the paragraph of uh at the end of at the end of the page the beginning of the paragraph that begins with bass pal next page so let's think about this if we just said that the concept of rosh hashanah as one of the days of chuva is secondary to the theme of rosh hashanah in and of itself this means that there is something about rishashina that is even deeper than truth so this we really have to understand because truva is already higher than all the mitzvahs because truva can fix any mitzvah even that which the mitzvah did not accomplish in other words i did not do the mitzvah and therefore i'm missing that mitzvah chuva can fix that i did the opposite of a mitzvah i violated a commandment and i have a blemish sugar can fix that trevor can fix everything famous words of the rambam in the laws of chuva chapter three nothing stands endlesh it's based on a urushalami nothing stands in the path of truth now when we say that rosh hashanah has an independent theme that transcends even suva there is rosh hashanah as part of the ten days of truth but that's secondary to the concept of rosh hashanah the theme of in and of itself this means that the theme of rosh hashanah in and of itself is even deeper than truva but this only begs the question what could be deeper than truva when you already said that truva reaches higher than all of the mitzvahs what could yet be deeper than truth continues so what is indeed the theme what is the void of in and of itself we know that void of rosh hashanah as part of a serious image of but we explained we're going back to the beginning that the concept of is one of the ten days is in between richardson name because it's a theme of rosh hashanah that stands apart an aloof of the theme of richard as part of us what then is the essential theme of rosh hashanah itself what is it she explains he says we continue further you see everything has a footnote so you can always see where it's from foot note 6 rosh hashanah tazhayan ahmed aleph rosh hashanah 16 and 34. ghazal tells us that hashem tells the jewish people that when it comes to rish hashanah i want you to declare before me all the verses of malchias many of the verses that discuss coronation god as king so that you will coronate me you will declare me as your king you will coronate me as your monarch as your leader as your king that's what our sages say is the theme of rosh hashanah and that's why in the prayers of rosh hashanah the main theme that's recurring that keeps on repeating itself is the theme of divine coronation like we ask on rosh hashanah again and again may you god alone rule be the king over all of your creation we speak about vieda kalpal the oven call you circa for you hashem allah may every creature know that you created it and every creature know that you formed it and everyone that has a soul in its nostrils may it declare that god is king and his king permeates and penetrates everywhere and so on hamelach the coronation of hashem as a king that's the thieve of rosh hashanah gone says as we will see it's one of the reasons we blow chauffeur because by coronations they would both shuffle we'll get to that soon now let's think about this what does it mean to coronate s is moving it's understandable we understand that one before before one accepts upon themselves the malchus the kingship of hashem the whole work of mitzvahs is inapplicable as our sages say the merchant says this and god says first accept my malhos and then my kingship and then you'll be able to accept my statues my my blueprint for life my decrees that it's amazing in in schmoyes says that there was a king that came to a city a country and the people said why don't you give us your constitution give us your laws he said before i give you laws you first have to accept me as your king i can't give you any laws before you accept me as your kin because they're going to be irrelevant and ineffective so god says first kabloom al-husi first accept my malchus and then kabul zara said and then you'll accept mike zayers the mishnah says in brachas why is that when we read shema we read first the portion of ahafta and then the portion of tishmu he says first of all before you read the second portion first you need the first portion where you're basically accepting israel hashem as a king in other words before you accept a relationship with him you don't have that of mitzvos let me let me just give a very practical example let's take an employer and an employee an employer can give to an employee a list of what has to be done today yeah i can give him a list of five things i need you to do this today but that all presupposes the idea that i work for you if i don't work for you if i don't accept you as my boss what are you going to give me you're going to give me a lift list of what to do i don't even know who you are i may know your name but i don't work for you once i accept it i'm part of this company i'm part of this corporation i'm part of this office i'm on staff okay and now i accepted you as the the ceo as my boss so therefore now okay tell me what to do the king is giving me decrees tell me how to live who are you so hashem says first accept my malhouse and then you can accept maxarius my my my blueprint for living but without that there's no relationship no relation there's no connection there's no relationship taking a marriage yeah this there's obligations that a husband has to a wife obligations i'm talking halachically in jewish law there's obligations a wife has to a husband the word obligations people don't like today but there's obligations it's called duties duties but it presupposes a relationship if you never accepted that you're married this is hard sometimes for people now you're gonna tell me okay please let's do this let's get this accomplished please get this accomplished i'm not married to you where do i come into where do i come into doing all of these things so all of the mitzvahs are very nice but they all presuppose a connection a relationship and this is so important because the relationship precedes everything once there's a relationship the mellor says i'm yours i belong to you you belong to me i'm the leader i'm the k i'm going to take this is my company and you're part of it now this is how we live but without that essential relationship that precedes the mitzvahs the mitzvahs become meaningless they become just dry empty tools it's true about all the mentors it's also true about truva what's true is the tool to repair that which i did not do that which i failed to execute in terms of a decree of the king that also can only come after there's a relationship after i accept it as malchus just like a king gives me all of these decrees i don't know who you are i never accepted you as my king i never coronated you it doesn't apply true also doesn't apply truva is saying i'm sorry and making amends for that which i didn't do for the mitzvah that i didn't do so true the two can only come after i accepted this again back to the marriage back to the employee i said that once i'm working for the company and you're my boss now i can get a list from you what to do now let's say i i fail to do that list or let's i even mess something up so i come to you and i say i'm sorry i apologize i have to fix what i did whatever it is the concept of truva but that too could only come if you're my boss and therefore i need to apologize i failed you i failed the company again in a marriage sometimes a husband doesn't fulfill his duties or the other way around i say i'm sorry i said something that was off i did something that was off so i make amends i say i'm sorry but you buy flowers you buy a card whatever it is to do true the other way around the woman wants to apologize to her husband they both want to apologize to each other for what for failing to live up to their duties to their responsibilities to their love to their commitments but that can only come if there was already an established relationship i belong to you and therefore i'm feeling remorse for not living up to my obligations as a spouse does haste what do we mean here this means this follows before you talk about any mitzvahs before you even talk about fixing the issues in the relationship because we failed to live up to each other's obligations that's all very important but that's all comes later first we need to make sure that we have a relationship how important is this how important is this with your children how important is this with anybody you're connected to i could focus on what you're doing right or what you're doing wrong you have to do this you don't have to do this but to relate what if the relation the connection is not there it all comes after this connection that's the key from connection flows certain things we do to embrace and intensify and solidify and enhance and implement the relationship and certain things we don't do and when we make mistakes we then do chuva which is repairing but all that presupposes all of this follows the prerequisite to all the baseline the paradigm the aside the foundation the core and that is your mind i'm yours we often you don't even talk about this like this you take for granted but you can't take it for granted because if that's missing you're missing the foundation so he says what's rosh hashanah that's rish hashanah that's why we say rosh hashanah is even deeper than mitzvahs even deeper than truth truth is once there's a relationship there's an obligation and therefore i feel bad i feel remorse and i'm going to make a resolution for the future this is what we call trivial repentance but first the employee has to be hired he has to be hired he has to experience himself as a new person i am part of this company the husband and the wife have to be married in other words we are in a marriage i come to a strange room i never met and i said here's a list for you to do things for me i'm sorry you're a nice guy but i don't know who you are go find somebody else you have to do truth because you didn't do this for me i don't even know who you are so the debate says what's rosh hashanah is about the relationship itself it's deeper and higher than all of the manifestations all of you means all of the revelations which in habad lexicon these are two very potent words atsmus and gilluem thank you this is of a mitzvah boy when is your mitzvah today tomorrow okay i see you preparing well before you start the mitzvos you see before he starts the mitzvahs he's starting all the mitzvahs before he starts all the mistress he's entering into the relationship with you huh can i give you a marsup right now take a video okay you can send me you can email we'll talk about it later so deals with atmos itself there's what's called atomos and what's called giluyu he's going to explain atmos means atmos in the hebrews like the bones yeah that summaries are the bones etism is the bone but it's representing the core essence gilluem are manifestations means every person has different energies that they give off impressions that we give off atmos is the core so the rebbe says that void of rosh hashanah is about the can you make me your king can it become the day when we begin to belong to each other which part of we my essence my essence just like in the marriage marriage doesn't begin with doing this or doing this or not doing this it's part of it it's obligations what we call the ksuva you got to provide you got to put money on the table you got to make sure your spouse has the clothes they need the food they need the shelter they need the nurture they need the protection they need the health they need just like with your child being a father a mother doesn't mean you pay tuition for the child you're like which world do you live in yes i know it means that but it doesn't begin with that that's the way the relation to one of the ways it relates to manifested you make dinner for your children and you take care of their laundry and you take care of another .1 million things for them which they may find out hopefully when they get a little older just like you found out with your mother and father is that the relationship it's part of the relationship it's a manifestation of the relationship but it doesn't begin with that oh you see a child let me pay tuition for you it begins with the fact that you're my child what is that about is that an act how do you become my child what is that what does that look like you're my child is before i'm gonna make dinner for you i'm gonna make sure you have a bed i'm going to make sure you have a home we're going to make sure you have the nurture and the nate and the love and the protection and the physical and the spiritual and the psychological and emotional peace of mind hashem that's all the relationships manifestations where the relationship is channeled in day-to-day acts this is what we call mitzvahs these things you do these things you don't do there's things that relate to physical concrete things apparently and then there's emotional stuff there's being there for your child emotionally there's being there for your child physically concretely some people do everything right there's always dinner and everybody has clothes and everybody has a bed what's missing is emotional presence sometimes people have a lot of emotional connection they're not so good in the practicalities of it but both of these the emotional connection and the practical duties all presuppose that there is an essential religion you're my child same in a marriage there's things a husband does for a wife a wife does for a husband there's the physical practical stuff making a living whatever it is and then there's the emotional connection the emotional presence but all of these come after the key we're married what does that look like is that a mitzvah is that something you do every day it's it's expressed in a lot of things you do every day but it's based on an essential relationship that is deeper than a particular act there's no one thing i do that makes my child my child it's a definition of you i am a mother i am a father you are mine i am yours we are essentially which part of me my arms my legs my nose my face yes but more than that me me commitment me my atmos that's rishi we have we always talk you you bring in a kid you're bringing a a teenager do you have to do mitzvahs of course you have to do mitzvahs he doesn't know about the relationship mitzvah's i know nothing about the relationship about the essential connection and which part does that touch that's not my arms or my legs it's also my arms and my legs it's the essence you know the guy you know the story the reason i made a separate bracha is because it's a separate drink and the drink the second drink was not here when i made the first one and i didn't i didn't have in mind for it that's why i'm making a second blessing there's a beautiful story that really it's a very deep story that samart sadek he's known as amazon was the third labacher his name was his mother mother passed away when he was a little baby he was actually born the day before rosh hashanah of memphis and his mother passed away when he was a young boy it's a whole story she actually passed away right after rosh hashanah some gadalia and his grandfather raised him obviously there was a woman in the house to help him but his grandfather raised him as a father and they were once playing and it's a little baby he was a young boy very young boy was sitting on his grandfather's lap now you know who the grandfather altered you could see in the painting his beard right you could see what type of beard he had so the tzamak zadak was brushing he was putting his hands through the altarebas beautiful beard and he was saying zaid zaid which was just you know an experience of intimacy and love and connection my grandfather and my zadie my zadie you know he's just putting his his his little cute hands through the altar at his beard and the altar ebba said where is the zeder this is the zadie's beard where's the zeddie so he pointed to his nose he says this is zadie's nose where's the zaydi she pointed to his eyes these are the zadie's eyes where's the zeda he pointed to the forehead and so each time his grandfather said this is not your grandfather this is the nose of your grandfather the eyes of your grandfather the arms the legs the torso the forehead the skull where is the zeida so that samakhsadhi didn't say anything it looked like he was so to speak you know he lost the game like his grandfather got him right he kept on saying zayd and his grandfather proved to him that no you're not touching the zeta you're touching limbs different organs of your grandfather so it seemed like it was like okay you know my grandfather's smart man he got me again right with this little game or trick but it's he was no dumb child as you would say to put it mildly a few minutes later the altareb is sitting and doing his thing and that's it is by a door and he suddenly gives a scream it seemed like that his the door slammed on his finger that's what it looked like so you know the pain right you have a hand i had you know you ever had that finger stuck over there in the door when it was slammed shut that's what it looked like he was a little kid so the altar ever heard this he jumped off his chair and he ran over to the tamar he ran over he said was like what's happening mendel and the time i said like a little kitty sitting on the floor he looks up smiles and says ah this is the zeida this is the said this is the saint the beard is part of the zeida the eyes certainly part of the zed the forehead part of the zeta this is called giluim it's the way the zeta is manifested through a face its arms these legs the whole organism and each one expresses something and each one is is so important i connect to you with my eyes and i connect to you with my arms and i connect to you with my legs and i connect you with my heart and i connect you with my brain i connect to you with my mouth but i'm looking for to say the doubt that that alternate wanted to teach his grandfather about this the essence atmosphere the connection attachment we call it attachment which part i am attached to you and you're attached to me what's whose eye the core of i the core of i which is not easy to define what that looks like it doesn't look like anything and therefore it looks like everything that's rish hashanah in their relationship it's deeper than mitzvahs it's even deeper than shiva mitzvahs is about how to live truva is about repairing and making amends when i failed which is even deeper than the mitzvah because it's the ability to compensate its ability to fix a mistake and the ability to fix a mistake comes from a much deeper place and that's why it's not affected by mistakes it can handle a mistake as we'll soon see what that means so it's already a deeper relationship than the mitzvah the mitzvah is you got to do this and you're not going to do this and these are absolute they're non-negotiable what if i don't is the relationship over no there's truva you can repair it but even deeper than shiva is rosh hashanah you're mine i'm yours god says coronate me what does it mean to coronate me how do you coronate me i'll give you a mitzvah no it's before mitzvahs truva no it's before trevor what does it mean to be in a relationship with god what does it mean to be married what does it mean to be a parent what does it mean to be a zeider what do these things look like they look like a billion things but they also look like nothing it's an essential trust it's an essential relationship touches your core and your child's core your core and your spouse's core your core and hashems our grasping what he's saying here well what we're not with we're not discussing him kipper yet we'll get there whoopsie okay a bird just came to visit us hello birds somebody writes here one of the the pillars of our class writes as follows too many of our in in the chat too many of our children and even some potential converts are presented with a judaism that puts obligation before the relationship and some never even address the relationship at all it's literally like putting the cart before the horse sometimes forgetting the horse all along and all together and then wondering why the cart can't get to its destination when you put the cart before the horse and you may have even forgotten about the horse yeah you got it next so is this saying that on one hand there is an inherent relationship that we don't choose like a child what are you gonna unchoose your child and on the other hand like a child oh and on the other hand it's a relationship that we choose like marriage that's a beautiful question do we choose it or do we not choose it right the marriage relationship you have to choose that's the definition of marriage both the woman needs to choose the man has to choose it if somebody who's coerced into our relationship legally and holographically it's not our marriage the woman has to agree of course and the man has to agree a parent and a child it's a different type of choice you're going to be my child forever the truest you have to make is are you going to acknowledge it and are you going to realize what that does for you and to you and is that going to be an active part of your life and that's a choice that even children have to make they can't choose the biological connection i mean if i'm your mother i'm your mother if i'm your father i'm your father you're my child you're my child that the biological fact but how much you're cognizant of it how much that defines your life in a positive sense hopefully how much is that's going to how meaningful is that going to be for you how much of your life is going to reflect that innate truth we all have a choice sometimes children painfully feel that they don't want a relationship with their parents now sometimes that may be they feel it's a lifesaver because of terrible situations they have been in but very often it's not that very often it's they do not know that they're looking for that relationship they have created a cover-up to compensate for that pain and that void and therefore they don't go back to those primal connections that they really desperately need for their self-value and self-worth but they feel because of maybe some betrayal at a as a young age that that's not available for them so their whole life they're looking elsewhere but really there's a wound that they're not addressing so i could be in a relationship that i completely don't acknowledge in fact i'm running away from it but i'm ultimately running away from my own deepest yearning in need so which one is this okay that's a good question so here we come to the point that before everything we have to know that we're here for each other and this is so important let's get back to the marriage there's times that a husband and a wife have to be there just to be able to go back to that space it's not about what we're doing today it's not even about repairing which is amazing which is amazing that's true but that's all after the connection the fulfillment of mitzvahs those are the decrees of the king this touches hashem's will the way hashem's will is manifested because the mitzvahs are his will so when i fulfill the mitzvah what am i doing i am executing i'm implementing the will of the reborn shall islam that's a relationship that's the way the zeder is manifested in arms and legs and a beard and a nose and eyes and a forehead hashem says this is my will and here is what i'm asking you to do again husband and wife there are things that the wife wants things that the husband wants and we do it for each other and it's part of our obligation as a husband and wife then do something deeper avoid this then there is true truth means that even if i messed up and i actually violated your will i violated hashem's will or i didn't do what i was supposed to do i could repair wow that's very deep that's even deeper that means i could repair the relationship is not over sometimes the employee has a this is what you got to do you don't show up you don't do it maybe even make a mess can you repair not so sure maybe you get fired here we say no you can repair it's like the husband and wife get divorced you could repeat there's something called truva this fixes even that which i did which was antithetical to the will this this means they're lying for ratson we're on the second column 1145. this means that truva reaches deeper than the will that i want it it touches me in a deeper place is still connected to a space of consciousness that's connected to my desires in a place where these desires don't exist so then true also doesn't mean anything because the whole idea of truva is i'm sorry for not doing what you wanted i'm sorry for hurting you by engaging in this behavior or not engaging in a certain behavior that you wanted so this is already part of how your will is being manifested the first level is doing what you need to do or not doing what you're not supposed to do that's mitzvahs the second level which is even deeper is even when i didn't do what i was supposed to do i feel bad for it and i could say i'm sorry and we can repair it but all of this is not yet talking about the relationship itself this is all the way the relationship is manifested in particular wills and desires and plans it's not the zayd himself this is the core it's beyond this is what i want this is what i don't want that's much later it's that we're here for each other who who's we we we are we're which part of me i want this i want before that i'm yours your mind i my essence is this gives you an appreciation of what our soul is the soul touches the essence itself for the falcon and zebra mustang and that's why they can arouse in hashem so to speak the desire to be a king they touch him in his core abu bakr in order to touch that space you have to go into that space in yourself this is called the bitter panimi of etzema the complete oneness and alignment that comes from the core of your soul and that's expressed in the coronation of rosh hashanah when we say and we ask i want you and when you hear that you say and i want you and that's the coronation of rosh hashanah so we have three levels in the relationship this will be elaborated and explained and brought down with more details more explanation and we'll continue with bayes hashem in the next year which is going to be thursday morning 7 30 a.m so we'll be able to have a deeper understanding of these three components that we're addressing mitzvos chuva and then rosh hashanah in its essence questions every year is always valid but before truva you first need a relationship truva is valid of course it's valid but the truth comes following the essential connection then there is the concept of mitzvos and then there's the concept of trooper which is deeper than mitzvos somebody says this is much more obvious today than once upon a time right right it's like when a couple when a couple right spends time it's not undoing something specific for each other or not even making amends and those are all important stuff it's really about the concept of reconnecting essentially okay i'm gonna wish you all a beautiful day