The Spiritual Origin of Exposure Therapy | Maamer Zachor Purim 5717 #6

okay yeah frederick and tyna's esther a happy purim afraila can put him to everybody and thank you for joining us this morning wednesday morning are of purim god willing we'll finish the mimer at least one level of it the minor we began last week or two weeks ago that was said on purim zion it was said by the purim 1957 we're holding ice zion the seventh chapter of the mimer which in your source sheets should be on page so if you go to the source sheets i posted the source sheets in the zoom chat in the zoom on chat and it's also on the yoshiva.net you can follow inside 161 the second paragraph is zion this is the seventh chapter of the mind i want to begin the class by reading a letter that i received this week on the email last week on the by email from somebody who's been listening to these classes on this particular mimer which explores in such depth the theme of the layout before i read it i just want to mention that this week maybe it's a little commercial this week we had yesterday tuesday our women's class and the theme was do we really want people to lose their minds on purim how purim contains the secret of dealing with trauma healing trauma so i will suggest it because it turned into a very very powerful conversation and discussion and very deep reflections on the ultimate theme of purim and how you how judaism views the meaning of jewish identity and jewish history and anti-semitism it was a very powerful and meaningful encounter and experience so if you have a moment you if you have a few moments go to the yeshiva.net and watch or listen to yesterday's women's class do we really want people on purim to lose their minds so we have been learning this mimer about adelaide not knowing what it means not to know the concept of the two cups the cup of amalek the cup of shabbos remembering shabbos remembering amalek somebody wrote to me an email this is a person who's obviously extremely one of our extraordinary students it was extremely uh as you will see perceptive and it was a very moving letter to receive and i wanted to share i wanted to share it i wanted to share it with you i'm not reading it mama's verbatim almost verbatim just a few a few things that i skipped because of privacy but it's almost verbatim this is what the person wrote i was extremely extremely young when somebody who's close to my family very very close to my family a family friend she had a son who got seriously ill and because this person was so close to our family and their child was a close friend of the family so i spent a lot of time with them and with the child who was ill i found myself i found myself going to the hospital going to the pediatric oncology ward walking those halls with this close family friend the mother and the father of this boy i saw and heard things that i don't think i'll ever forget i was myself a child barely a teenager this was a very difficult experience i couldn't articulate it then i was too young but i think that is when i first really started to question god not his existence that i never questions that i never questioned but what seemed to me as so challenging how he could sit back and let things happen it felt desperately unfair little innocent children babies it wasn't my first exposure to human suffering i have read way too many holocaust books as a child i heard first-hand accounts from people who lived in my community people who lived in my neighborhood some of my own family members grandmothers grandfathers uncles and aunts and others their age but i don't think i ever really confronted it never like this right in my face as i watched all these babies in the hospital oncology award suffering it felt so purposeless it felt so cruel to my young fertile mind and it was not man-made i couldn't blame a particular person for bringing on this suffering this person really this experience really challenged me in a very very deep way life moved on this child made the recovery i never gave it much thought until something bad would happen in the world to the innocent to the faithful and i just could not stomach it it would trigger all of that internal anxiety other people ran to say to hillary to pray i have to be honest i thought to myself what's the point whatever god wants to happen will happen anyway i didn't believe much in the individual's power of prayer this concept of thinking good and it will be good it was just too difficult for me i had too much too much pain from my experience i felt that god did allow a certain randomness and chaos to run amok in our world and we just could not do much about it fast forward quite a few years i grew up a little bit i was blessed to be in my own home a beautiful home and i was preparing for one of the holidays for pesach with my growing family and my community somebody close to me a friend called me and tells me there's a new series on a muna that just came out running out of listening material and i was preparing for pesach i was busy i decided to check it out i listened to one and then another and then another i think it planted a seed in my mind that there was more to the human experience than my understanding of it i decided that i need to start learning rabbi jacobson i started to join your classes from afar the live streams and i started to learn i remember the first time i listened to a mimer you were teaching this in the morning classes it was a morning chasers class i saw men sitting around the table this is before corona using terms i couldn't define or understand i understood almost nothing that was learnt but i was hooked i felt compelled to listen even though much of it went right over my head and i got nothing i started slowly i would ask people questions people i knew in my life some great scholars what does this mean what does that mean my husband helped me out other people helped me out so kindly and patiently i felt a little embarrassed i was so ignorant about subjects i thought i was supposed to be familiar with but people who helped me out were extremely compassionate and encouraged me and as time went on i just knew that i found what my soul was looking for the more i started to learn the more i started to understand but also the more questions i started to have questions i probably always had but i couldn't articulate they all came up given the incredible opportunity to ask questions at the end of the class i started to ask questions the answers i got rocked my world but more than anything they humbled me i suddenly learned that term that you always say tachel the ultimate understanding is that we should reach a point that we don't understand the ultimate understanding is to know that i don't know the ultimate understanding is to know how little we can ever really know and understand because truth is never filtered through the limited vessels of our brain every time i come back to the study of these classes of the study of siddhas i'm reminded of what i am slowly starting to get that in the end it's all god all of it me you us life's blessings and challenges what i lived and witnessed in the past what i experienced today none of it is a mistake none of it is random in everything truth can be found the divine presence can be found today the world spins and shakes war in ukraine i have to say that i feel a sense of calm that is very very new to me completely unfamiliar to me i'm supposed to be nervous anxious but there's a deep calm in me not that i don't see or hear or understand what's at stake not that i'm indifferent or apathetic to the suffering i definitely get it my brain is still doing its thing my brain is still very anxious it's just that i also know a little more about reality i also know a little more about infinity i also know a little more about humility i also know a little more about godliness i also know a little more about truth or as my teacher says god is reality reality is god i finally understand in a very real way that reality is so much more than my eyes can see deeper than my eyes can go to that deeper than my mind can go to and endlessly further than i could never ima then i can ever even imagine it's okay not to understand it's okay to feel it's also okay not to fear fear is my go-to place but it's okay not to fear hashem is still here despite the hiddenness despite the darkness despite the chaos purim is coming and then pesach suddenly i'm living with their messages i find myself reaching for a siddha it's words comforting me wow my soul is divine adon al-tira they all take on new meaning and i yearn i yearn for the time when i experience and god's reality will be won when all pain will cease and when goodness will be experienced like the sun on my face on a gorgeous summer day may it already be amane wow thank you so so much for sharing this very very deeply and it's extremely moving so let's go right from here into our class i have to say somebody else phoned me yesterday this was an email message but somebody else phoned me today because he's celebrating seven years of sobriety he has been an sa a serious addict who was ricked a lot of havoc on his life and he went into recovery and yesterday he celebrated seven years of absolute sobriety and since i was involved with his journey in the begin from the beginning he called me i wished him a big mazel tov and he told me that this mimer that we're learning now is the best gift that he could have got for his seven years of recovery i said why is it the best gift he said because it just tells me the story of my life and it tells me the story of life and it also tells me the trap that i can get into now by going into a cup by going into a case he says that's the trap he says it's all about adala yada it's all about he says i defined myself for myself he says the question in life i had to ask myself was will i be a case or will i be a conduit a cuise contains truth and needs to mold it and craft it you decide what your life is supposed to look like and what you're supposed to look like and how people expect you to appear to them so that they should be able to be comfortable with you so you'll be able to feel comfortable with yourself because they think that you are fitting into them and they're comfortable with you he says and all these definitions and expectations of yourself and god and your family and what life has to look like he says instead of just and he says i get so i got so stuck in that instead of opening myself up to andaluja i just don't know i'm a conduit i'm a conduit for infinity flowing through all my emotions the good and the bad and the ugly and flowing through my brain and flowing through my heart and just being a conduit for that truth for that authenticity without manipulating it so he says so this mighty mirror is all about my recovery he says forgive me but it's all recovery material i'm like go go right ahead i like when people apply it and integrate it into their lives it's not he said am i allowed to say that it's all recovery i said you're allowed to say that it's all recovery because that's how it's affecting your life and it's manifests itself in many different ways but then he added and he said but what i learned about shabbos and amalek taught me something else and that is even in recovery i could get stuck in my case even shabbos which is so holy which is all about tainough taino murketh but i could still go into that curse that self-contained holy spiritual smugness without the adalaya without the bituminous without being a channel a conduit and that's what mushroom was telling the jewish people and therefore he said remember that amalek creeps in even to those places where there's shabbos because it's still not thai naga pasha that's still tainook hamerkov as we explained in the previous classes and we explained last time the lesson that the rebel speaks about the need to integrate they need to connect the need for jews who find themselves in a space of shabbos not to disassociate and disengage from others who find themselves in the space of amalek not only because we are all connected that's also true but even deeper than that because what happens is we ourselves need to realize that we are vulnerable even those of us who are in that cup of shabbos are extremely vulnerable we ourself should not feel superior and holier than thou on any level but the cons the consciousness of humility and deep understanding of everybody's brokenness and everybody's struggles allows people to connect and be there for each other and help others extract their spark from their own shells we now come to if zion again page 161 the second paragraph we learned that in the the consciousness there are two stages it is where the person does his own work of remembering amalek and blotting out amalek that's what a person does and then there is hashem wiping out of malik we have the tup sukham right hashem says you should do it and i will do it he says the person needs to create boundaries the person has to be aware the ultimate transformation of it comes through hashem so now we go further along in addition to the wiping out of amalek that comes from hashem following the wiping out the deleting amali that comes through a person's inner work there's also another element in the elimination of amalek that happens through hashem and it's triggered it's aroused by the jewish people even when amalek is in full intensity and ferocious strength which as we learned earlier in the mimer it's extremely difficult to tackle the russia at that moment when god is giving him success but nonetheless there is another dimension here and on the contrary this comes precisely when amalek is in his strongest form and fashion for yuvon what does this mean this will be explained i'll be be your admiral based on explanation of the mittal arab admiral is the middle arabic he was the son of the baal hatana the balatani rabbi schneiderman of liadi is the founder of siddhis he passed away the 24th of tavis tough i in gimel 1812 he was running away from napoleon and he was in ukraine he went from belarus to the ukraine and he passed away in a place called piana a little village he was buried in hadith that's in the paltava that section of ukraine south east ukraine his son was his successor he's known as the mittal arab in the middle rep his name was would be 1823. that's around 10 years after that his father passed away tough so purim that year the mittalaraba set a mimer it's a very long miami the middle of he used to say very long my mother much longer than his father explained them and i love me on this mimer of the middle arab of purim 18 i said eighteen eighteen twenty three eighteen twenty three tawkov begimo is based the previous maya as i mentioned at this purim fabrian and said to my mara two hasidic discourses one began with the words khai of inislam sumiba pura a person is supposed to become intoxicated that was earlier in the fabrianian the second member was this mine was so this first miami says the primary is based on the miner of the middle arab and that's what he wants to bring in one point the indian mapalasht who comes from amalek was defeated during the feast of wine that estimate now i want to remind you the story so we'll be able to understand context and this is a big problem that the commentators struggle with in the story of the megillah that we're going to read tonight and tomorrow basic russia what happens esther is the queen of acharya issues forth a decree allowing haman to execute his genocidal plans against the jewish people and in that plan there is a decree that on the 13th of other every last jew could be slain and murdered and should be murdered by the king's troops and by anyone living in the country and by the way us you can plunder all their booty which means you go into a jewish house you can take whatever they own which is an amazing incredible motivation for anti-semites as we have seen during the holocaust that the fact that the nazis allowed the ukrainians and the lithuanians and the poles and the hungarians to loot jewish property was an extra motivation to kill them because you also get the house and you get assets and you take clothes or you take pay where you take whatever you want besides of course the most prized items which the germans made sure to take to them for themselves like the expense of art etc now that's why the mcgill adds us don't take these two words for granted us lovers you can loot and plunder all their property that was an extra motivation now what happens mordechai sends a message to esther the first lady and says please go into your husband and plead with him to another decree esther says i can't he can execute me because he never gave me permission to come and you can't just go in uninvited mordechai inspires her to take the risk and she does and she goes in and the king is extremely generous and kind and charming and benevolent and he says what do you want i'll give you whatever you want until half of my kingdom amazing now right there right then esther should have said what do i want i want to be saved i want my people to be saved that's what malachi said she should do she didn't she took now things into her own hands says when esther turns from a passive reserved woman into a powerhouse she calls the shots first she does everything that mardukai says at this point she's telling everybody else what to do including it's an interesting transformation that happens in the megillah the first four chapters at the end of the fourth chapter esther is a new person she's reborn which i discussed in the mitsura speech you may have heard of the banquet over yeshiva about esther's transformation in any case what happens instead of telling ahashvaders what's going on she says please come to a party let the king and human today come to the feast that i made and the king says sure and he and human come to the feast it's a great party and they're drunk and they're inebriated and having a great time the king is on a high haman looks like she's on a high she's going to be and then tells esther what do you want now what would you expect spill the beans spill the beans tell him king kai no aniviami lahashmi larry gulab they my whole nation is being decimated please help me even if you would sell us as slaves at least you would make some money you're killing us there's no there's not nothing good coming out of this just dead jews and a king who's going to be broke that's what you would expect to happen it's not what happens he says what do you want esther care she says come to another party if the king and human could come to the party that i'm going to make for them tomorrow and he says sure it's no problem no problem and of course we know that night he can't sleep and murdocha gets rewarded the next day there's a party at the next party that's when she spills the beans and haman loses it and haman falls on the bed to plead for his life goes out to the garden to get some fresh air he comes back he sees humming on the bed you want to conquer the queen with me in the house like i'm looking the face of haman is completely decomposed and that's when one of the advisors suggests that haman be hung on the gallows on the tree that he prepared to hang marduk and the rest is history it's actually not history it's her story okay the big question is why didn't esther spill the beans at the first party the king was drunk mayla when she came to him the first time with the scepter holding on to the scepter touching the you could say it was very formal she wanted the king to be under the influence of alcohol i understand but at the first party you could have already said everything she didn't she waited for a second party and at the second party that's when she pointed her finger to haman and accused him jacuzz of genocide towards her in terms of her whole people and she was successful what was esther thinking she had a strategy this was a very smart resourceful brilliant as it turns out confident profound woman what exactly was she thinking so the rebbe here based on the miami of the middle arab makes an ingenious observation and he says and today when tonight when you learn the megillah or now you look at it listen to it and you'll see how one word captures the story what what's what is it so let's see three lines from the beginning of the paragraph esther says let the king and hammond come today to the feast that i prepared for him for this majesty at that party at that party this is all chapter five of the megillah at that party she says again let the king and human come to the fees that i'm gonna make tomorrow vacher the first time around listen to her words it's one word the first time she says let the king and haman come to the feast that i made for him who's him for the king the focus here is i prepared a party for his majesty for the monarch for the persian monarch achashverish let the king and human come to the mistake at that feast she comes to the king and says let the king and human come to the feast that i prepared lahem for them not loy lam a difference of one letter islamic vlahim islamic hate men what's the difference the first time around the feast is for the king haman is coming as someone who's tougher as an accessory as a prime minister as someone who's subservient to the king he's a guest who's being invited to join the feast that the queen made for the king that's the first time around the second time around it changes esther says the feast that i made for them it's not just a feast for hashmarish it's also a feast for haman suddenly was elevated he's on par with the king from esther's perspective he's on the same level this is what destroyed harmon allah this type of glory that was given to haman the king couldn't contain and it drove him mad and it made him suspicious and it made him paranoid and at this point it was him or haman this is what allowed the earth to become so the situation to become so fertile for haman to defeat to be defeated let me explain what this means you see esther was not just a great woman she was also a brilliant brilliant psychologist and she knew people very well and she understood that ahashverish is feeding off haman because haman is feeding his paranoia that's why if you go into the king uninvited you get killed there was this constant fear in the palace that somebody is going to kill the king and bix and viserish indeed try to assassinate them and human was the one who fed this paranoia i discussed this at length if you go to the shiva.net in purim we have a class there called ahashverish and haman in therapy we did this at length this whole mimer at length showing how esther understood the characters of now remember akhitris lost the wife of ashty he had her kilt now esther comes and invites human to the party great why is somebody joining a party between a husband and a wife if you go out with your wife at an anniversary party right your wife says come we're going out but i want another guy to be there uh whoa whoa whoa whoa what okay come on listen hummon is close haman is our man human is trusted right but she got human inside the party she made her husband's mind the wheel started to turn in his brain what is going on and you can be sure at that party estimate sure to make human feel very very comfortable okay fine they're drinking they're having fun suddenly in the middle of the party actually says what do you want esther she says i want you and hammer to come back to the party that i'm making for both of you slam it's not lawyer anymore it's not haman is you know the the fifth tire is is is the fifth wheel haman is extra no hammer is on par with akhashvish and is thinking o m g what is going on here is it possible that haman and esther are in cahoots first of all maybe human took a liking to esther and hum and lured her into his trap hummon is a charismatic guy and maybe esther likes hamon why is s why is hummon at every party she's my wife why is there another guy at both parties mailer the first party what about the second party what's human doing there why can't we have some private time together right what is he thinking he's thinking that esther you know esther likes the company of ahmed a little too much and suddenly from allah it became it's not just a change of a word it's a change of demeanor how esther spoke estina brought hormone right into the bedroom right into the intimate party maybe maybe maybe ferris is thinking maybe they both want to kill me together they're in cahoots to kill me maybe they don't want to kill me they just like each other maybe they just like each other maybe they want to eliminate me do i know maybe haman is going to use esther against me so he could take over i don't know maybe together they're going to kill me maybe something else is going to happen look what happened before i got rid of you know i got rid of vashti it was also muhan's influence something is happening here that is making ahashvarish crazy he's extremely worried do they too like each other that does mohammed want to happen away from does hammer want to use her to kill ahashverse what is going on achashvadhis does not know but one thing we know and that is that that night he can't sleep why can't he sleep why can't he sleep he can't sleep because he's not sure what's happening in his marriage and he's not sure what's happening in his palace he does not know what's happening is too close esther elevated haman so much it's like what's happening what's happening here do they have some type of relationship does esther love him does he love her why is he coming to every party what's happening what is going on maybe maybe haman is afraid that just like vashti got in between him and has too much power so maybe by haman putting himself in and getting so close to her and making her like him he'll be able to figure out a way how to destroy her had a killer so he could now have full control over the king he doesn't know akash does not know what's happening what is going on so at night he is not sleeping he is paranoid our esther and hamad up to doing something that is going to cost him dearly this change of loy to lehem changes everything this drives the king crazy and now you have to realize what happened now you have to realize what happened at the second party akash vedic didn't sleep a whole night his wheels are turning he's going crazy he's frightened for his life remember he's paranoid on a good day forget about puerto rica paranoid but he's paranoid on a good day he's having anxiety right that's why he makes a party 487 days and drinks yeah even alcoholics don't drink for so long you could imagine his anxiety now suddenly at the second party she turns to him and says you know there's somebody who wants to murder me he says miuzev who wants to murder you hama haman is getting close because he wants me dead so that he can have control over you hammer now falls on the bed and he's with esther in close physical proximately suddenly achashvedish realizes his closest friend is the most dangerous person in the empire trying to get rid of the queen just like he got rid of vashti and he realizes that haman his closest man is really the man who he cannot trust at all that's what esther did do you know what that does to a king hamantua swedish is what barrier was to stalin if you know russian bolshevik history what barrier was to stalin haman was tahashvarish and some people even say that barrier killed stalin because he understood that he's next on the list stalin died purim or got a stroke for him or got poisoned poured in march 1953 tough gimo so what would it ester do what did esther do she didn't come to kashmir and say haman is a sick lowlife no she picked them off she picked him up she put him on par with the king let's now see how this plays out spiritually so the rabbit continues oh maybe by my master casa because the middle it ever brings in the mind what it says what that result says listen to this what's the acronym yawi begins with ayud hamalek begins with a hay the hummun begins with avov hayong begins with a hey yud k vov you hear that result says that the word that esther said let the king let the king let the king and human come today to the party is an acronym of hashem's name the king in the megillah is also a metaphor for hashem malcolm the king of the world so you have hey hey is esther is the spouse that represents the jewish people the king is hashem esther is the last hay femininity who separates between yudhai and the last hey the vov ester took haman and brought him in between the lion and the lioness pain arya lara yusa why is this the metaphor the zarya says woe onto somebody who walks in between the lion and the lioness when they're together don't try this at home and don't try this in krueger national park or in another jungle when the lion and the lioness are together they're playful they're intimate they're connected and somebody tries to walk in between them to separate and snatch away the lioness from the lion it's not going to end nicely it's not going to end well so esther what did she do she had haman come in between the lion and the lioness that's what happened there was a party here it was a moment of of charming intimacy of connectivity of romance so how esther says sis suddenly you're all together in this hummon is on level on the same level haman has brought it into the brought in into the intimate inner circle of akroshan astro husband and a wife she's the one who did it she brought him in between the lion and the lioness those are the two first letters of hashem's name vavhay are the two last letters yudhei is hashem the king the last hey represents esther hayoim and who's in between you see what he's saying the vav of haman interrupts the letters of utk and the last hay in other words haman interrupts the relationship between the king and the queen between esther that's what she did by the first party she brought haman into the inner circle and this already made the king feel very queasy and creepy still esther knew it's not enough it's good but it's not enough haman has not been elevated and brought up to a place that is so elevated from where he will be able to be pushed down down the cliff as the prophet is says when you will soar like an eagle the eagle is the king of the birds and you're going to soar higher than all of the birds way way up there from there i will degrade you says god so esther understood it's not enough to bring haman up you got to bring him up to such a tall space you have to elevate him to such a place from there he'll be able to be pushed down it wasn't enough just to bring him between the lion and the lioness let the king and human come today you'd have hey and that's why the first party wasn't sufficient for esther to spill her beans and plead for her life and accuse haman of genocide and convince akashveers that the greatest threat to him and his monarchy and his throne and his world is happening in the palace it was not enough yet esther realized she needs to go to the next level and what did she do she asked and she tried and she persuaded the king and she said let the king and human come to the feast that i'm going to make for them yes you don't have the word hyoin the first time she said the second time she said because it's tomorrow because you only have she a brilliant woman this time she says let the king and haman come to the feast that i'm going to make for them yes the vote here doesn't interrupt the udhay and the last hey that's true but the way that haman is promoted at this moment ooh it's gevaldin and how do we know this what happens after the first party haman comes home he is so happy he tells zerish his wife and he tells all of his friends he says afloyevia when esther throws a party for her husband who does she invite she invites me and tomorrow i'm again invited he got the message he is on top of the world there's nobody as powerful as him even the queen she can't have a party with the king she needs him at the party wow this is the ultimate glory that he can experience this is what he wanted haman wanted to be the most powerful person as the prime minister of the king running the show and indeed he's now running the show even the queen acknowledges that haman is the one who runs the show gevaldik the king is also part of hamad this is what she did at the first party in addition to bringing him there now she needed to go to the next level what was the next level making him an equal he's a cover shalom khawar he's a friend of the king elohim suddenly haman and the king are on par there's a point where it plots us you know there's a point they call it the puncture point right or the rupture point there's a rupture there's a point that the king cannot take it anymore he is so angry he is so infuriated he is so insecure he's so overwhelmed now all the rules break he plots us and when esther saw you know you see that moment it's like that that simmering point the moment that there's going to be the complete rupture she knows this is the moment and that's when she says somebody's trying to murder me he says who she says hama oh it's all over all the torment all the repression all the toxicity all the fear and insecurity and paranoia all the trauma of ahashverish came bursting out you're going to conquer the mela the malka in with me in the house you're going to take her while i'm here the face of haman completely loses it huffle hammond becomes like an decomposed completely helpless and now the ground is fertile garvoinus says why don't we hang him great idea let's just get rid of human and all the problems will go away the miami explains at that moment esther achieved that the the negativity should be completely separated from the good because everything ultimately can only live from the king from hashem from ella cause i know shaitiya may know escala um at that moment all the panemias anything that was authentic about haman was taken out anything that was good the nitsuits was extra extricated and what happens the rajas dissolves commercial cost of that's what happens the king said to a love hang on on the tree that he prepared for murder was how tall was the tree 50 amas 50 yamas is almost 100 feet between 75 and 100 feet why do you need such a tall tree nobody mardukai's height wasn't 70 wasn't 100 feet and humans height wasn't hundred feet the hint is shabbit the only way you can get rid of haman is the gemara says that there are 50 portals of wisdom hamishim hashem created 50 portals of wisdom moishrabenu acquired 49 and the margaret says on the last day higher nevada he went up to higher nevada nevada is none but he acquired the 50th gate of wisdom but that's all shari bina yasu aids ga voyage the tree is tall 50 amis what does it mean it's 12 50 ammos it represents the shari bina haman has to be placed on such a tree gavayaka misha you have to go beyond you have to go beyond the 50 shari bina in other words spiritually what does it mean we all have an inner hammer the way that i tackle my human is i have to go to a place of lawyer even my bina bena is great it's understanding but it's all yada it's all a kois what is a kais akai says that everything ultimately needs to get wrapped into my brain i need to wrap my brain around reality i need to reduce reality into a cup cup as in cup cup ahead and cup is in a cup and a kiss and a goblet so even though it's a case of wine but as we said wine becomes vinegar because the caisse ultimately limits it it reduces it to finiteness and whenever i try to reduce infinity into finite tooth ultimately wine is going to turn into vinegar i have to open the coast that's adelaide so hamon at this point is so powerful in my life what does esther do she makes him even more powerful by making him even more powerful suddenly he loses everything when he gets brought up even to a higher story he gets brought up to the roof he's now the top he's the eagle oh from there you can push him down precisely from that place if haman would have not been elevated to that degree then wouldn't become so infuriated with him but because human was elevated to that point the khashwater started to say whoa he really has everything he really owns everything suddenly the ridiculousness of it the absurdity of it emerges suddenly sees who is this hummer that has so much power and paradoxically from that space halman loses everything he fell into esther's trap esther was very smart haman didn't realize what esther is creating he estiquated a web she was feeding her husband's paranoia she was feeding hummus narcissism and that's a smart lady [Laughter] you understand she understood her husband's fears she understood haman's traumas he needs to be a narcissist needs to be in control and protected what happens she fed into both of them she fed him she fed them and the main thing is she made sure that they butted heads against each other she brought them both into the boxing arena and she had them now his narcissism was confronting his paranoia his paranoia was confronting his narcissism and he got destroyed in the process human completely got destroyed in the process why when he became a friend of the king when he became too close his evil came out once his evil came out now there was nothing left the plymouth was taken out and there was only what does this mean in a person's life their episodes in a person's life haman goes on a treat as long as i'm in a place of yadah i can't really get rid of a malik amalek will come into me why because i am in there still i'm in a place of triggers i am in a place of finiteness even if i'm in a place of shabbos there is still zach because zekko is the decoys this is wine and this is vinegar but vinegar comes from wine tainu mirkov ultimately allows for the clipper to trigger me and therefore ultimately human cannot be extricated for my life only when you put ham on ga kamishimama you take haman what's amman you remember haman is hameenha tv and you go beyond eight sadas you take hamma and you bring him up to adala yada now you take the spark out of human and the shells fall away and every one of us when it comes to our own inner haman sometimes we're in a situation like that time this time when the jewish people's arm is not so powerful sometimes there were situations in history when the jewish people were physically powerful that they can go fight amalek there comes a time in history the jewish people don't have the ability to fight a mullet and that means spiritually they lack that ability they don't have the spiritual ability to fight our mother because by the jewish people the physical and the spiritual work together when we have the spiritual ability to do something so then we can physically do it when we don't have the spiritual ability to do it ultimately it manifests itself physically as well so he says the fact that the jewish people don't have the spiritual ability to achieve the blotting out of amalek through our own work which is the precedent it's the prelude it's the intro for hashem the devices sometimes in my life i cannot i don't have the fortitude to get rid of this but the eights are you so the devices the destruction of amalek in his full power through hashem is actually by bringing out the ferocious strength of amalek following the haman through till the end esther wasn't afraid of inviting haman into the party esther wasn't afraid of giving space to haman because she knew that that space that haman is getting is ultimately going to choke him that's the noose around his head now this is very fascinating what this means in healing i thought the fest mushroom what this means sometimes the way you get rid of haman is not you get rid of him you gotta actually bring him in bring him in come let's shine all the lights on you let's shine all the lights let's give you all the attention in the world let's see who you are let's make you let's give you the most honor and the glow's glory the most powerful person let's make you as big as the king and suddenly what happens the futility of haman emerges the stupidity the evil the negativity the taxes get him out of my life he's too much too much you vomit him how did you vomit him by bringing him in there's an expression my wife uses it she says what you resist persists what you resist persists meaning those things in your life that you resist you don't let them come to the fore they persist they just persist in a subconscious way in other words what i try to force out of my system is going to stay in my system sometimes what i have to do is stop forcing it out of your system let's see what you are and here it's even more it's much deeper than this actually she's shining the light on haman she's making herman much more powerful she's bringing him into the inner circle wow she's not afraid she's not afraid you know why she's not afraid she's not afraid because she knows that haman is human is evil don't worry he won't overpower you so i could shine my light emotionally what this means is it's very very serious i mean this can be connected to exposure therapy but it's i think connected to a very general theme and that is esther was not afraid to bring haman to his highest point because she knew from there there's only one direction and that is he's going to go down what does this mean in my life so many things i'm afraid to look at my own traumas my own haman my own amalek i just want them to get re i want to get rid of them but what sometimes they're very powerful and esther says you know what let them be powerful invite them in what does it mean a vitamin vitamin doesn't mean give hum on the power of your country it doesn't mean turn haman into god khas force allah she's inviting haman in because that's the way for haman's bubble to be deflated for haman's balloon to be punctured sometimes when you're not afraid of anything that's going on inside of you you don't have to repress it you don't have to amputate it you don't have to delegitimize it you don't have to cut it off you can invite him to all the parties here come you're marrying off your daughter you're marrying off your son you're going to a very close friend's wedding you're in middle involved in a gevaltic a beautiful project with yourself your family your community and suddenly there's a haman and all we want is haman should not show up at the event esther says no bring him bring him to the party bring him to the second party bring him up wherever he wants to go bring him in bring him and bring him in and suddenly when you don't when you don't squash haman when you don't make believe he doesn't exist let him be there with all of his colors let him show off his colors let him feel suddenly comfortable and what's going to happen as he says his nukuda is going to come out there's nothing here there's nothing here besides stu volume the nichols you're going to take out and all of the clippers of human are going to fall apart in that story it meant that haman was destroyed in our story it means that i can just embrace my oneness my infinity this is true individually it's also true with claudius unbelievable sometimes you see by the jewish people a difficult situation and here he says in parentheses that it says in kahelas the world hashem put into their heart this means in the heart of the jew you have a reflection of the whole cosmos sometimes you ask yourself what can i do for my brothers and sisters in ukraine what can i do for people in the world what's the connection i'm just a private person but look what he says here the whole planet lives in your heart so sometimes a shift in my heart a shift in my consciousness creates a shift in the consciousness of the universe do you imagine what that means that's what he says in the jew the world is reflected and in cloud israel the whole world is reflected so when you see a situation in the jewish people it's a mirror of what's happening in the world see sometimes you see a situation where the world and godliness are on equal footing just like haman he's elevated he's promoted at the second party to be identical to the king this is a situation where my human and my achashvarish representing hashem and the other side on equal footing this is a life in which moral relativism emotional moral relativism suddenly are playing an equal role in my life wow that's sad so you could think at such a moment the jewish people are going to lose it he says no hashem says at this moment i'm not going to look anymore at their situation and say oh wow look where they are they're in a situation that haman is so close to ahashverish they don't even differentiate between them in a negative sense i'm not going to say oh at such a moment that's it i'm finished with them that's the moment the yeshua happens when our mullah becomes so powerful and human becomes so powerful paradoxically god says this is the moment where we have to extricate them it's not a situation where you give up on them sometimes you see somebody you love and their haman becomes equal to you want to run away forget it there's no hope no precisely this is the moment where a human becomes so powerful that harmon actually loses the plot this is the moment where there is fertility for tremendous salvation and rescue this is the moment the jews are saved this moment when human reaches his highest point of success as the navy says ezekiel chapter 36 this is the haftario of parishes i'm not doing this only for you you're mine for my holy name i have compassion for my name i'm going to sanctify my name that has been desecrated by the nations sometimes he speaks to there about a situation where jews say we want to assimilate so we just want to be a regular nation a member of the united nations without any unique status and the jewish people say that's it we're done haman is as good as a khashwaris we're fine with both of them so hashem says at that moment you have to remember that you are me and i'm you and i'm going to dash the jewish people ultimately are a divine people and therefore hashem says despite everything ultimately you are going to be redeemed you're going to be emancipated you're going to be liberated this means in a person's life sometimes you look at yourself you look at the jewish people they seem like in such a lowly state haman is already at the party this is precisely when salvation happens it's precisely when the clippers sometimes in his fullest strength haman is brought to the highest point and this the king can't take anymore and this situation gets spit out um and this brings immediately that hashem says i'm going to blot out of malik and when is this going to happen fully babies comes in the most revealed sense is revoiled fully canal because we said before in the blotting out of our mother stages there's a stage of ghoula consciousness but you don't have the full manifestation of mashiach it's still the level of shabbos and therefore it's tiny murica and therefore you still have amalek but then there is when the consciousness the revelation of mashiach angela is fully manifested completely in the most visceral sense throughout the entire people and the entire world that's when there's tainoga pasha la mata masala fakher made this happen below 10 cubits meaning in our own domain in our own very world by golo didan speedily in our time in our milieu and our era amen now before i uh before we uh we say goodbye to each other at least for a few minutes i want to share with you a little story to give perspective to this mimer and those of you who have been learning to see this with us for many years and those of you who have earlier experience with linux at this know generally that there's different types of my mara there was somebody who came shabbos to shul and he told me that this mimer that we're learning he feels that it's a different type of mimer than other my mara in his words he feels like this ruach this divine inspiration that flows through this mimer the way it handles reality the advice it gives the perspectives it brings out there's like a certain his gallows there's a certain revelation in this mind that you don't have he's told me another maimaru so i don't even think he could guess how on target he was and here i'm going to tell you a story that happened at this fabric in purim 1957. i mentioned a few times that the lobster rabbit has fabregangins most of the time they were sikhas sikhis were talks about different suggests and inaudib israel psychology avoid the issues issues connected to jewish history to the past to the present to the future it could be partisan it could be let's say purim connected to purim almost any topic under the sun somehow connected to the jews and judaism but then every fabregan there was usually also a mimer the rebel would close his eyes he would wrap a uh kerchief around his fingers they would sing the and everybody would stand up and that was dedicated to a suggest siddhis usually every fabregan had one mimer this fabrega in purim was very unique that episode 2 my marim which was very rare first he came into the fabregan he gave a few circus extraordinary talks about jewish history about anti-semitism about emunah about the story of purim spoke about the parishes of shiva parish shemini and many other topics and then he motioned they should sing a they sang a negan and he said a maimer of initial basuma puraya that's the previous mimer in the fabregan and actually my woman's class this week was based on that first mimer after the miami-dade told the story this is the story i wanted to share with you the story was as follows this remember this is 1957. so he said 1957 tinus esther was on thursday it was an earlier titus esther and purim was celebrated on sunday so the rebbe said that in 1936 this is 1957 so 30 years earlier 31 years earlier in 1936. titus esther was also thursday and purim was sunday and my father-in-law the rebel ayats this is in poland 36. and he told the story that in the year tough tests that's at that's the time when the first world war came to an end it's in the midst of the bolshevik revolution the fifth laboratory ever ran away from lubavitch to rostov from belarus to russia because of the war he didn't want to be under the germans that year toughness in test 1919 the rebel arshad was fasting it was thursday titus esther this the calendar was the same 1919 1936 1957. and after the fast thursday night he says my father-in-law was walking with his father he was weak because of the fast and as they're walking his father says two words dermon epis remind me of something so his son the rebel's father-in-law the previous rebbe meditated and he began telling his father a story that he remembered from tough nunev that's decades earlier which was the year before he got married something that happened after his tanayum after his art and it's a story that happened with the altareba on purim zion which is 1887. and this is the story that summer tough national neve that means 1896 that rebel ashab was in the country and a few times a week he would travel to his home in lubavitch one of these journeys he traveled with his brother he had an older brother of zaminaren and he asked his own son the rebel rayats to come on their trip on the trip on the journey was probably on a horse and buggy then ashab asks his brother absalmoniran to tell over a story that he once heard from him that he heard himself from rib no nothing was the son of the mittal arab who heard it directly from rapinthus rises who was a hustler of the balatanya the prince rises he was there purim tough of memozy in 1887. was shortly after the bar mitzvah of the middle earth repentance rises was there he told the story purim 18 put him in 1787 by the alternate so here's how it works don't get confused has a hostage of pinchas he is there at the bar mitzvah of the alt-right son and after the bar mitzvah is purim tough kufma in 1787 and al-tarabha says something years later the pinch says it over to the mittal arabic son says it over to the raza who's brother marasha's son and he says it over to the friday rabbit to the rebel nunev which is tough fresh i in test 1919 the rabbit ashab is walking with his son he says remind me something and this is what he reminds him so the rabbit ayat says it over 1936 of the fabrega and the rebbe says this over what he heard from his father-in-law who heard from his uncle who heard from rabbi who heard from the epinephrine who was there by the altar directly the person the person that ever says it over at the fabrega what is it what is the story what is the story the story is the tough of zion 1787 it was the same thing tennis esther was thursday purim was sunday shabbos said and he said that malik is the numerical value of suffolk of doubt and of basal and of iron and amalek makes a jew cold ashakarcha he makes you doubt if is avoided he makes you doubt if you're avoided purim dalton said a second puraya and he was a mimer dedicated to the idea of the king not sleeping at night insomnia and he explored the concept of iran's scythe iran's scythe it's called ir not sheffa and since its earth which is a direct continuum of the source earth itself cannot make worlds that are finite so the earth has to go through that simpson beresh is barely kim the iron needs to go through the simpsons but the symptom is viratious it's because of the jewish people that are called racists but when we're asleep so you don't see the value of the jewish people so the king needs to wake up not fall asleep and then the world falls back into place this is the maimed the the two main martin the altar says purim and tina's esther shabbos and purim tough of memphis says 1936 when i reminded all of this to my father in 1919 what i heard after my tenorium in tafrish nunev in 1896 what i heard then from the raza from rebel says this is the case and the rebbe starts crying very heavily exodus if this is the case we have to say anu siddhis not that my murmuring that i prepared and he said this shabbos we're going to be visited by beautiful guests and the rebbe starts crying so much you understand what he means that when the rebel asham heard the story he understood that this was a sign and this shabbos is going to be guests which he probably meant in the summer of the military etc and he said this shabbos we have to say nukes to this we have to not that my mother am i prepared but we're going to say nu my mother and on shabbos he said based on what the altar ebba said and i'm putting he said some of the pariah based on what albert ever said tough of zion and this was all tafresh ayan tess 1919 he continued the memoriam of the altar of 1786. the rebel is saying all of this and he's crying very heavily it's extremely emotional and then he says that my father-in-law said that my father told me then that when atsadek is down here in the body and he wants to fix a jew so he starts from the bottom he starts from nephesh and then he goes up to echida but if that sadiq is in heaven and he wants to fix a jew then he starts with yahida and then he goes to and then he goes to nesham and then he goes to he goes physically alive he picks up his drew from the bottom from the lowest to the highest but when he's in heaven he starts off with irida he goes from the top and from he goes down all the way to the bottom that's what he does and did he said my father-in-law finished the story and he said that we are now in a time tafir sadiq when there's many billboards there's many things that are confusing us whether it's we just confuse ourselves or there's things that really confuse us but the bottom line is that people are very overwhelmed and confused and it's a good taina so may hashem remove the justice of this complaint because it's a true complaint people are overwhelmed that there shouldn't be anything that's confusing and overwhelming and traumatizing in life and the rebel finishes and tough zion the words of atsadik the words of my father-in-law the words of the rebel but all the way to the altar are eternal that the fact is that today people are also very confused and startled and overwhelmed and traumatized maybe even more than they were in the past so certainly the request of at sadek that hashem should remove all these types of complaints that people have because they're true is certainly now also and he says and one of the greatest is advices simcha because especially that's infinite removes restrictions and removes uh restraints and removes things that overwhelm people and we all we can experience full expansiveness of hashem should erase the name of amalek that's the story that the rebels said at this fabrian after the first mimer this long story about 1936 1919 tough members in tough religion involved tougher and testosterone you design it's a story that goes from tough mums which is 1786 all the way to 1957. as i said it ever said it with a lot a lot of emotions especially that the rebel asham said ah we're going to have to say this and there's going to be special guests for shabbos the fabregan continued as the rebels put him for bananas they were always very special and very exciting and incredible incredibly profound the rabbis would express itself through toyota that'd get gusted and augustine and then at some point closer to the end they sang a lot of nagunam and then the emperor started to say the second mimer the unexpected miami and what was it the same way that altered said that the same the beginning that al-2 said that started the same beginning this was a second unexpected mimer that was not expected and this is this mayme that we just learned it was the second monument of the fabrega and indeed if you read most of the my modem you'll see that they're based on previous maymara meaning the rebel will quote a mimer from the altareb and he'll develop and he'll elaborate it but this miami is unique it's one of the few maimarum that in many ways are original meaning it was a flow straight from the rep it's not a buildup based on previous sources and then he elaborates it but it's more or less an original mimer of course it's all based on themes and concepts from earlier generations but the structure of the miami the theme of the miami the main explanation of the mimer it's it's an original flow of the mimer that came out on this fabregan of buddha okay so this at least completes one dimension of the mimer and i'm going to wish you all a very very uh uplifting and inspiring and meaningful purim as we could see from this mimer people think put him is just a chaotic wild day you know you let the teenagers run amok and do whatever they want but the truth is that purim is is maybe in some days it's it's it's the most serious day of the year it's very very happy day but it's also a very serious day because real happiness is seriousness in other words there's happiness there's frivolousness you know people just lose it but that's not happiness is a very very deep day it's a very deep day and it's the day you see where we're given this ability to open ourselves up at least a little bit to the brim of adelaide i shouldn't have to be forced into this case i should be able to be a conduit and then i could and then i could be there for everybody and i could be there with everybody and i can even be there with myself me take a few questions i also want to remind everybody that uh tomorrow night after the suda 9 30 p.m we're going to have a grand fa brengan on 18 four shea ben shimon will come with the music and there's going to be hot food and adola dancing and music and inspirations everybody is invited it's 18 for shay road men and women and children everybody's invited you could come um in the middle of your sudden you could come after you suddenly you could continue this as you wish and i'm looking forward to see you all it's not going to be live streamed it's going to be a little more intimate so you don't have to worry that you're going to be live streamed you could be yourself you could be adelaide you're not being live streamed usually all the events they live stream but i thought put them we don't need a live stream everybody should celebrate wherever they are because unto hate you don't have to tune into somebody else's video and whoever could come in person huh that's just good you like that derbaton well you could be yourself even when there's a live stream but certainly when there's no live stream you can also be yourself and that's going to begin based on hashem thursday evening 9 30. um let me take a few questions here and then we'll move on a lot of questions are you suggesting that esther is the one who caused the khashwati insomnia it's exactly what i'm suggesting okay beautiful comments okay beautiful beautiful comments on the chat and beautiful comments on the website very good feedback and interesting insights i suggest everybody to look at it and i'm going to wish you all a beautiful day an inspiring tightness esther and a meaningful inspiring purim and a happy purim for you and your families and your communities and all of the jewish people all of claudius especially our brothers and sisters in ukraine and the refugees who have relocated completely to new places sometimes taking only the shirt on their back or one suitcase so may we all celebrate together this purim we should hear good news in revealed ways from everybody mahatma the last vestiges of amalek should be wiped out and blotted out and we should be able to celebrate this purim with mashiach as the mimer ended off on maine and with special guests yes them shabbos valenza shaina arkham there will be special guests amen thanks rabbi thank you