The Three Weeks and the Gift of Grief by Rabbi Shmuel Silber

all right good afternoon everyone it is thank you toore and thank you to R Burman and thank you toac and thank you to the staff at the OU Israel center it's always such an incredible to be able to be here and to be able to teach some Torah here it's uh makes it sound like you know I have to go out of my way to make to make the time the truth is when I knew that we were coming to our my first hear you so it's an incredible an incredible privilege to to be here and to be able to learn with all of you and to be able to be in this very special place from which so much Torah disseminates not just to the Jews of but to Jews worldwide I want to begin by thanking IRA and Miriam Gman who dedicated the sheer today I just saw it before Ira by S Miriam grman in honor of Cl in honor of Cl in honor of and the return of our hostages the safety and success of our soldiers and instead of these coming three weeks being times in which we commemorate historical loss and sadness may they be days in in which we celebrate the incredible Milestones the incredible rebuilding and G of I also want to take the opportunity just to recognize the presence of Mr and Mrs openden who are the parents of ad zav the young woman from kab Yakov who valiantly saved her children as her house was engulfed in flames and literally was in to the last moment who literally gave her life for her children her precious parents who are dear friends are here with us in the she today we hope that of the Merit of our T that and their family I want to share with you a little bit of a different insight into the coming days we know that tomorrow we Mark the beginning of the three weeks tomorrow marks the beginning Shas 17th of tamas and there's much rabic literature that's been written over the Millennia over the last 2,000 years about the notion of these three weeks what is it exactly that we are mourning what is it exactly that we're supposed to be doing see here's what's incredibly important the mishura has an interesting statement mishura says that on a fast day if a person just goes ahead and abstains from eating and drinking but doesn't engage in the process of CHA doesn't engage in the cathartic process of comprehensive change then they haven't accomplished anything meaning a lot of times and this is true in our yish K in general that a lot of times we go through the mechanistic details of we go through again the behavioral precepts of our Judaism and we do everything as we are supposed to but yet at the same time for whatever the reason we don't feel changed we don't feel moved we don't feel any different and that's because we know this that you know it it used to be and this is obviously different even here in than in but it used to be that the challenge for a Jew let's talk about in America for example after the war the challenge for a Jew is being observant so now barem in America even in America the challenge is no longer observance right you could be an observant you have any career that you want you could be an observant Jew and there's really nothing that stands in your way observance is not the challenge here in so what's our challenge if observance is no longer the challenge what's the challenge I think the challenge often is inspiration is that sometimes we go through our lives as religious Jews I'm doing anything and everything that I have to do maybe even more but sometimes it's the feeling that's lacking then is not there am I going TOA of course we're all going TOA am I doing any AAS trying not to right am I doing Mitzvah absolutely plenty of them but yet with all of that sometimes there's a little bit of an emptiness sometimes there's a little bit of a void sometimes there's I know that I'm doing what God is asking me to do on a behavioral level but I'm just not sure that from a the Shad level I'm doing everything I'm supposed to and I think especially when we come to these three weeks I think all of us absolutely know what it is that we're not supposed to do right differences between and but I know that tomorrow is a fast day and so I know exactly what I'm allowed to do on a fast day not allowed to do on a fast day and then we get into the three weeks and the n days and we are all incredibly proficient with all of the restrictions and then I know again still until the 10th of I know all of the I know what to do and what not to do behaviorally but what's my aod what is it exactly that I'm supposed to do emotionally cognitively spiritually over the course of the next three weeks and I apologize I the title on the sheet says Tish the gift of grief it was really supposed to be titled the three weeks the gift of grief because it's not a Tish she it's a three weeks Shear so let's analyze this that's what I like to try to be able to do today a little bit is to understand what is our spiritual avod what is our spiritual service during these next three weeks so let's begin with a from thek says as follows so Yehuda went into Exile because of Affliction and great servitude she settled among the Nations and found no rest all of her pursuers overtook her between the boundaries now of course the phrase right we're all familiar with this phrase so we normally how do we normally translate that phrase right the three weeks so the way we often translated is right the three weeks is between Theos right the on one hand remember these three weeks are book ended by difficult days tomorrow 17th of the walls of were breached and then again the other bookend when the first bik the second bik were both destroyed so ultimately again is between the between the days of pain but the truth is the real phrase itself comes from between the boundaries between the boundaries the boundary again creating one part of the boundary and Tish creating the other part of the boundary but I want to share with you something I saw this idea actually last year and it it changed my life truth is not a day goes by that I don't see something that changes my life I say people tell me I I I overuse this phrase but I I don't it's true so take a look at number two the great side ofz Mez was the the primary disciple of the and the mag writes as follows listen to this he says so it's interesting just so you understand the phrase the is right all of her pursuers who's being pursued over here in the POS who's being pursued CL Isel who are the pursuers everyone else right the nations of the world the nations of the world you know one one of the interesting things I think that we have seen since October 7th and I say we because I know that our experiences since October 7th are so different in is than out of Isel but I think one of the most incredible things that so many of us inar have seen since October 7th is a dynamic that at least in my lifetime I never I always knew but never saw that the world doesn't like us always knew it always knew it but the truth is never actually felt it in an actual tangible way that's the so just understand the imagery over here the imagery is cloud is running away K is running away and what happens everyone our enemies are running after us now hisa means what hisa means to capture to reach right so our enemies catch up with us where do they catch up with us now again the imagery here is so important remember between the boundaries those of you who are learning Dai we had this in Basra a little bit Fields were were demarcated by boundaries and often again what were the boundaries the boundaries were actually raised levels of Earth raised levels of Earth so if you have two adjoining Fields you could technically have two boundary markers which means that area in between is very narrow so the imagery that is painting over here in is every runs everyone's running after CL CLA is being pursued cloud is running away and what happens and where and they catch us where do they catch us we end up getting we end up getting wedged in together we end up getting wedged in together right everyone's running after us everyone's running you know it's also incredible and I know all of you who have the sour to live here so you see this every day but for those of us who are still visitors it is one of the most incredible and beautiful things every single time the most incredible thing about ER is contemporary state of Israel is that the identity of the Jew has been transformed from victim to Victor it is even now as we stand in the middle of a war you know uh my wife and I we were up north we're up north uh we're in Taria yesterday and I don't know my way around Taria so I'm driving suddenly WS cuts out it comes back on except ways tells me that I'm in Beirut I I'm in Beirut I'm like oh my God sh right I'm hoping my wife didn't see the screen right because she didn't see it was incredible so obviously all all all of you know the Army often has to jam whatever the signals are soah can't launch their guided Rockets but here I was in the middle but I was incredible was incredible I'm not going to lie for a moment there was absolutely a pad there before I knew what was going on but then I realized something absolutely amazing for 2,000 years we were the ones being pursued for 2,000 years we were the ones who were running and isn't it incredible that we are Z to live in times where even when we are badly hurt like we are and even as we limp a little bit like we did in the aftermath of October 7th we regroup we reg regain our footing and we become the pursuers no one no one runs runs after cloud is anymore as a victim we are no longer the victims we are Z we are sometimes the victims of Mankind's brutality and barbarism but after we dry our tears get up and dust ourselves off we'll pursue those who pursue us just understand how incredible it is for 2,000 years Jews read this p in a and it spoke directly to their circumstances how privileged we are to live in a time where we could read this very p and we could say wow that's the past that's the past but we are to be living as part of an incredible new future but let's go back to the Magid the Magid writes as follows the Magid has a dramatic different interpretation he says he says what does it mean that ultimate so again we translated all those who pursued CAU up with her between the boundaries the mag says number two right hand column whoever in these days wants to run to anoint we'll see what that means just a moment get ready for this writes the next 21 days the three weeks a person who yearns to catch up with a a person who yearns to go ahead and reignite a passionate relationship with God a person who yearns for a closeness with Theon it is more easily attainable during these next 20 days than any other time throughout the year what theat right by the way just understand so look how the interprets the phrase whoever runs after her who's the her who's the her remember again without getting into this in Z writes that sometimes the itself is referred to as and sometimes the is referred to as the feminine and sometimes the masculine here the say refer to in the feminine whoever runs after the you could catch up with her when now now is a time that is auspicious and ripe for reconnection recalibration and Rejuvenation of our relationship withes you'll say to yourself that's crazy that's crazy it's the three weeks it's destruction it's everything that's been lost and look what he writes he says listen what the says he says you know when the king sits in his Palace so what happens you know you decide you want to go visit at the king in his Palace so you decide you know what I don't have anything this afternoon I'm going into the palace to see the king you walk to the right you walk into the gates you walk to the gates and what's going to happen you say I'm here to see the king what are they going to tell you what are they going to tell you take a hike right go go who who are you who are you when the king sits in his Palace there's not automatic and immediate access for everyone he says but when the king is out and about when the king is outside of his Palace and the king is walking around in the marketplace the king is walking around outside so then he is close to anyone who reaches out to him and ultimately again he's able to hear anyone who cries out to him says listen to this b means this time the times in which we're living there is no B yet there is not yet a third B therefore when there's a there's a palace and when there's a palace the king resides in the palace and in that case we know right remember we're going to have a third B we're gonna have a third right you decide tell the family pack it up we're going to B mikdash you go in how far are you getting how far are you getting into B it depends the truth is it depends if you're a Cohen if you're a Ley right but if you're like a regular guy like me right bless you right bless you if you're a regular person like me the closest I am getting is into the courtyard into the and that's assuming that I'm T it's assuming a whole bunch of things no matter how badly I want to ascend the steps to go through the golden doors of shikor and to come back down right into the E Liv I can't I can't there's a limit there there's there's a block there's a wall there's a ceiling and the base time and it's incredible to think about it this way when the Bas comes there's a limit to how far you can go there's only one person who goes all the way and that's the qu and that's not even every day right that's Kipper that's Kipper for the rest of us there's an absolute wall that divides us says the mag get ready for this and I know it sounds so strange to certain degree when there is no B there's even greater access when the doesn't have a home he quotes the over here such from just like when the bird doesn't have a nest it flies everywhere he says when the doesn't have a home when the isn't in one place do you know where the is you know where can I tell you something this this is the we have when we lose our loved ones as well you know there is nothing more painful in life than losing someone you love so where does n come from so part of n comes with the passage of time that's that's part of it part of also comes that the understands something amazing in our physical forms right we are limited interacting with one another like this and the shama is accessible anywhere and everywhere you know the notion that we put up a Mata right why do we put up a mat you ever think about this in just a moment the Mata is where the Goof is buried the Goof disintegrates the Goof goes away the Goof the body is just the CLE it's just the recepticle to house the soul so why put so much emphasis on that address where the Goof is buried it's a very simple reason because we're physical beings so we need a we I need a physical address it's not for the Nish it's not for the Nish the is everywhere and anywhere the N knows everything that's happening with this family the N is acutely aware of what's going on in this world and the Nish could be connected with anywhere and everywhere you are the mat is not for the right the mat is not for the M it's not for the person who passed away shom ultimately again is for the living it's to give a physical address through which we could connect so the mag the M says something I told you I promised you it's going to change your life right I'm telling you if they served coffee at this year and you're a little bit more awake you'll be falling off your chair right now I'm telling you you have to what the mag just did what the Magid just did is fundamentally changed the entire dynamics of the three weeks by the way here in lies just in general the beauty of in general about the ability to pull out sim from everything I thought that the entire avod of the three weeks is to lose myself in the pain of Cloud's loss says the mag the MZ yes that's part of it but also it's to rejoice in the incredible and overwhelming opportunity this is homeless this is homeless do you know what happens when the is homeless he is more accessible to each and every one of us than ever before when there's a third base I that she want to know where the resides always resides everywhere but where is the concentrated in the the holy of holies holy of holies now there's no where is the like the famous kater said someone once asked the kater where is Theon shal to which the katar answered wherever you let him in what is what is that where does the C get that from it's AZ when there is no is everywhere and that's why yes because it's this time that we recognize that he's displaced by the way anytime all the time it's like people who say I don't celebrate Mother's Day because every day is Mother's Day right right sure every day exactly exactly anything anything that you say should be a true every day is you it's not the way that's not the way mind works just like I should thank every day which you do in but I still have P that solidifies that so you're right this is a true dynamic every day but at the same time when is it concretized for us daa in the 21 days in which we recognize that the is homeless but yes if I internalize this now this is every day for me absolutely absolutely so they understand now the profundity of these days the is homeless and because the is homeless therefore again there is greater access than ever before look how the ends in number two therefore again look look at the magid's words every single person has the ability to come close to Hashem and Hashem answers them now you always have to be careful with a phrase like that Hashem answering you doesn't mean that what it doesn't mean you get what you want it just means you get an answer right we know this like in relationships in relationships if you're in a relationship the worst thing you could do to the person with whom you are in relationship with is silence silence better to argue than to be silent now sometimes it's better to be silent than to say certain things that that is absolutely true but in general silence is a lack of Engagement argument at least is some form of Engagement again sometimes silence is good like the gimar says if a word is worth one sah then silence is worth two so definitely silence it has its power but at the end of the day says the me if I make a sincere effort to reach out to during these days will answer me I said again that's the mag of Mez that's the mag of Mez so hold on to that for just a second let's build this out a little bit more number three every single person every single person should constantly be upset should be trouble Tred by the destruction of theik and by the way this is not a din the 3 weeks if you look over here at the title this is this is these are the of how you conduct yourself in the morning so the when you get get started in your day ultimately again a person should be troubled by the absence of the writes in number four so that says something amazing now here here's what's fascinating you think that based on based on a person is always supposed to be upset about the destruction of the says it'sin says it's very easy to misinterpret this phrase and think that therefore a Jew is always supposed to be sad and a Jew is always supposed to be downtrodden says Listen to thiso I love this phrase says on the outside you should always look happy whatever pain you have wear it on the inside wear it on the inside but we see this concept in in so many different ways having you know your face your face is it's public domain so because it's public domain you're not allowed to do anything that adversely impact someone else in your public domain so therefore the says externally always whatever is broken and whatever hurts and whatever is pained that's for you on the inside that's for you on the inside he goes on he says says something amazing says even if a person says is the beautiful mystical prayer that is set over the destruction of theik see even if a person says and again you're crying supplications tears [Applause] says you still have to be happy now by the way only Jews could say stuff like this and it makes sense right anyone else says like like it you just contradicted yourself I should be crying my heart should be broken into a million pieces but I should still be happy and only we is like yeah I I I actually know that means I actually know what that means the Jew spoke about the idea that in general in Judaism we do not go ahead and commemorate historical events but rather again for example he says P so P we don't remember the Exodus rather what do we do what does m say I'm obligated to see myself as if I left Egypt says he says because we model is past present and future all all in one time Sal calls this the unitive time Consciousness I don't know what it means but it sounds great right the unitive time Consciousness living in all spheres of time simultaneously well there there's also a unitive emotional Consciousness where I could live in multiple emotional planes at the same time I could be heartbroken I could be heartbroken and I could be and it's not a contradiction I think actually most of us live this way every single day there's not a day that goes by that I am not overwhelmingly heartbroken for something that is happening in our people right you take the time to think for just a moment right we think about this for just a second we think about the fact that as we sit here in this beautiful Mak Torah over 120 of our brothers and sisters languish in captivity you stop to think about that for just a moment and how can your heart not be torn into a million pieces we think about the carbonos that K had to offer we think about the dangers that our precious soldiers face day in and day out how does the heart not break into a million pieces but at the same time there's so much to be happy about there's so many great things there's so many beautiful things there's so many incredible things you know it's interesting I've come to find that you know when you ask people you know how are you doing how are you doing people almost feel compelled to say everything is good considering the circumstances it's almost as if like people feel guilty for saying all is good can I tell you something you don't have to give the qualifier despite the circumstances everyone knows the circumstances we're living the circumstances and by the way we've been living these circumstances for 2,000 years just the difference is that many of us have never experienced things like CL has undergone since October 7th so for us it's a new reality for cl for cl there's nothing new here there's no there's no this is the first time that Nations have Bartered with Jewish lives it's not the first time that such barbarism has been visited upon young and old women and children not the so for us it's jarring because for many of us we've never seen it before we've never seen it before but when you take a step back from your personal identity and regress into a cloud identity there's nothing new here see you don't have to give the qualifier it's okay we're all heartbroken but what what the is saying what does the Jew do when somebody asks you how you're doing you say you know what life is great and it's only going to get greater things are wonderful and they're only going to become better loves us and we're only going to see the love even more the says when you say say it with a broken heart crying but yet still be happy be sad in your hearts for whatever is going on but externally always has to be take a look one more piece that we'll tie this together then gel sinner writes as F he says in number five he says we'll tie this together say get ready for this so the equates the 21 days just get ready for this there are 21 days between and get ready for this the says there are two periods of 21 days within the Jewish calendar one of them is between and the other is between rash and and the Mas says they are exactly the same they're what what they're exactly the same I could not think of two periods of time that are more different look what he he says get ready for this the 21 days they are days they're joyous days why what are they they're days of forgiveness Clean Slate brand new beginning he says so to G to the 21 days these are days of forgiveness isn't this absolutely incredible and now let's just tie this all together there's a linkage let's work backwards there's a linkage between the 21 days and the 21 days between and the 21 days between are the happiest days of the year you know it's interesting that as much as there's a certain fear that revolves around judgment there's also a right what's theim what's theim is you know at the end of The Journey forgiven you know it's interesting this s brings down s brings down he says on um oner by right so not everybody knows this there isv after right lot but there is there's one additional prayer so so says we say forgive meem that I have sinned for that I have sinned really I have to say that oner what could I possibly have done I just feel I just finished I'm pure I'm great what what what could I again let's go through this what could I have done I've been fasting the whole day I'm too tired to even speak lashar right there's nothing I could possibly do you know what says why am I saying because forgive me God for not believing that I can be forgiven sometimes we don't believe that we get Second Chances and we don't believe that we are worthy of forgiveness and we don't believe that we are worthy of a new start and we don't believe that we could have a not just a brand new chapter but a brand new book forgive meem for not believing that forgiveness so the 21 days between and are the happiest days of the year CU as scary as judgment is nothing in this world is better than a new beginning that comes on the heels of beautiful Divine forgiveness and therefore says says the days between and Tish are the exact same Dynamic days of forgiveness days of absolution days of New Beginning now it's beautiful it's beautiful right 2121 sounds fantastic the problem is the problem is where' he get that from besides is the connection of 2121 what are you talking about but now let's go back now because it's the Magid the Magid of mezich always comes through and the mag says now I understand this whole dynamic because in these 21 days the dislocation of the the fact that the is homeless makes him more accessible than ever and that that accessibility gives me opportunity for connection that opportunity for connection ultimately like the says even though I'm so heartbroken that there is no there's a part of me and this is going to sound strange but there's a part of me that is happy with the present circumstances again I don't want it to stay this way but for now because it's like this I'm going to take advantage of what is and if the is dislocated if the is homeless then that means there's easier access if the king's not in the palace then he's more accessible even to a regular guy like me and if he's more accessible to me I'm going to jump on that if he's more accessible to me I'm going to take advantage of that opportunity for connection to rehabilitate my relationship to start again to ask for forgiveness I want a clean slate I want a new beginning I want to start over de friends who amongst us doesn't want a new slate it's only 1:00 in the afternoon and I already have wanted a new slate three times today hey who doesn't want a new beginning and comes these days these 21 days that parallel 21 days and days in which the is more accessible than ever than ever if we take advantage of it we too could find that new beginning so how do we take advantage of the power of these days how do we activate it for our elves how do we take advantage of the fact that the is more accessible than ever how do I capitalize on using B not simply as 21 days to mourn that which has been lost but on 21 days to jump start my relationship to clean the Slate to begin a new I'll just make two suggestions number one you know the was a was a great sadic for those of you who don't know about them in in our SCH every Thursday night we have a theb Tor is is of a different world literally of a different world so theab wrote a number of different one of the that he wrote was and in that sa actually it's very interesting the the the Genesis of that safer he he was approached by a group of his by a group of his students who wanted a manual for growth so the P wrote this safer it's to be studied in groups and essentially it becomes like a um what's the word it's like um like a yeah like a therapeutic group it's kind of like a spiritual 12-step program like in other words like just like 12-step programs like addiction like recovery programs you don't do them alone right you do them with a because there's a power there's a power in that when you're surrounded by other people who are struggling with the same type of stuff you're struggling with and then you go ahead and you Aid them and you help each other along that Journey something so beautiful PNA says talks about the relationship that we have with Hashem and he gives a mush he says you know sometimes anyone who's ever had the to have to have a young child knows that what happens sometimes a young child comes and says says ABA right I my my grandson I'm very excited my grandson just started saying Z so I was very very excited about this you know sometimes sometimes a child will just come along and say Aba okay so normally when a parent hears AB Im so in a parent's mind what is the parent thinking what is the parent thinking right what what do you need what do you need right so what happens so the parent picks up the child right and the parent's waiting and the child again says ABA right and the parents waiting and then the child simply buries his head in his father's neck and says ABA sometimes the child is not asking for something he's just asking for ABA too often in life our relationship with becomes transactional God I need this and I'm talking about like good legitimate things that we need right not the 30 foot yacht you know know like like legitimate things that I need right legitimate things that are important that are good but our entire interaction with is transactional and I need this I need this I this you're God and again all good things and and I want to point out by the way asking for things is the most incredible thing in the world because it recognizes that you believe that could Grant it right the only reason I'm asking is because I believe that Hashem could give it to me which is the highest form of amuna which is beautiful and incredible but there's more to our relationship with than just simply getting what you want there's also the concept of relationship for the sake of relationship that sometimes it's beautiful to call out ABA not because I need anything from ABA even though I do I need so much from ABA but sometimes all I want is just to be held that's all or to hold I don't need something or I do need something that's not what I'm talking about right now I just want closeness I just want to be next to you I just want to feel enveloped by your love there's a power to having a relationship with Theon that is not predicated on what you need or not predicated because you're afraid of punishment or afraid of geh or wanting G but that's you know that's the beauty in children when that little child calls out ABA there's no ulterior motive that's there it's just ABA because I want to feel close to Aba so I think one of the incredible things that we could work on during these days these 21 days of unparalleled closeness is carving out a few moments a day just to try to be close to a without asking for something don't ask for something don't ask for something just closeness for the sake of closeness because you know that little child knows that that when ABA picks him up and holds him close life is better life is better I but what did you get little child what did you get nothing my aba's holding me and when aba's holding me everything is perfect but it's not but it is and perhaps during these 21 days where the king you know I you think about this I don't know that we think about this enough sometimes you don't realize it that the same pain and the same loneliness that we feel with everything that's going on how do you think the feels you know just because the knows how the story ends and just because he knows that at the end of the day everything is going to work out for the good you don't think he feels pain when we feel pain you don't think who looks upon us now seeing the M that cloud is in seeing how many families have been shattered how many people have hearts and souls that are broken a million pieces you don't think that causes him pain and so we want to hug ABA sometimes you forget that ABA wants to hug us just as much part sh I just want to be with you you know when you're in someone you know you're with someone who you love you know I uh I I I I I often hear this from young men and women who are dating and especially like in the sh system you know they go out and a lot of it is very staged and very very rigid and you know they'll they'll go out and you know a young man will come back and say you know there there were moments there were moments where we had nothing to talk about I'm like and and you know what I want to say is like sometimes the best moments in my marriage is when we have nothing to talk about but just be and sitting in the presence of someone who you love you don't need something to talk about there doesn't have to be a conversation piece just being together is one of the most incredible and overwhelming things part one of our aod during these three weeks is just to figure out how to take time to be with ABA not to ask for something carve out time it could be when you dive in it could be a different time it could be when you're taking a walk by yourself or it could just be sitting down in a quiet room if you could find by chance a quiet room close your eyes not for 20 minutes for two minutes for two minutes I just came to be with you you know you ever do you ever do to someone and Thea the person who's ill can't talk can't talk and so what do you do what do you do you hold your hand you sit there you sit there and your presence is so important sometimes all I need to do is just sit there and I promise you after the time together you'll feel so much better so much more enriched so much Holier and lastly because I know that I'm almost out of time I want to share with you something that I've shared no less no less than five times in the last week I shared it at my shab I landed at and then I shared it again at a at a at a year in America I landed last Thursday I got to go to AIS I shared it at abis shared it at a KES on shabas morning and now I want to I want to share it with all of you again I'm sorry a lot of miles this got a lot of miles but I I can't stop talking about it and I can't stop saying it because the Z was one of the great he was a Andes and the asked this fascinating question said back in par you know the story MOS was ordered to go ahead and hit the rock sorry speak to the Rock but instead he hit the rock he hit the rock and SP asks a very interesting question he says mosha been hit the RO actually hit the rock twice and water came gushing out of the rock asks why why did it work again remember we know water doesn't come out of rocks the only way you get water out of a rock is through divine intervention you need to speak to the Rock the only way to activate the water flowing from the rock is speaking to it mosu disobeyed and he hit the rock he hit the rock and the water came flowing forth as the ask if you were scripting this right MOS God says to mosha God to Moshe speak to the rock mosha hits the rock what should have happened no excellent right nothing nothing yet water comes flowing out of the rock what's theat the reab says something absolutely amazing the Reb says The Rock The Well came in the in the Merit of M says that when the Well when the water came in the Merit of one person thees it needed a gash it needed a physical act in other words the Merit of one person was enough to bring about the miracle to a degree but there was still a physical act that was needed to bring out the water that's why I remember again the first time that Moshe Renu brought water from the rock what did he do he hit the rock that's the way it was supposed to work he hit the ra again it's in the Merit of Miram right Merit of Miram because the be was in the Merit of Miram but again of one person still requires a physical act to bring about the culmination of the miracle so therefore again M HRA came forth now Miriam died now Miriam died right something amazing so Miriam died but the well was still going to continue in the Merit of whom was the well going to continue for cloud is in the Merit of Moshe and Aon says to mosha you no longer have to hit the rock all you need to do is speak to the Rock that's all you need to do just speak to it just speak to it and that's enough but says like this if I speak to the Rock people are going to think that Aaron and I are greater than Miriam if I speak to the rock it may potentially denigrate the covet of my sister so MOS says like this I have a choice to make I could obey Theon I could obey Theon shal and hit the rock and potentially denigrate sorry Speak to the Rock sorry thank you speak to the Rock I potentially denigrate the covet of my sister or I can go ahead and hit the rock and maintain the cover of my sister but defy the Rono shall which one should I do and says the do something absolutely amazing says the mosu made a calculated Act of defiance to uphold the Dignity of his sister it wasn't an accident it wasn't just anger but mosu says if given the choice between obedience to a and denigrating my sister's covet I choose the covet of another Jew over obedience to Theon SH now says don't try that at home don't try that at home don't do that don't do that because remember there are repercussions mosu is punished mosu doesn't go into but says the is something absolutely amazing with this I'll conclude says something absolutely amazing which is at the end of the day as much as M did something wrong and how did he give M Water flowed out of the rock you know how sometimes your kids do something wrong but the thing they did wrong was kind of like a little bit right it puts a little bit of a smile on your face you have to discipline them still but understood what it was that was unfolding over here so dear friends why am I sharing this with you because you see from put the covet of another Jew before obedience now again that is not a model for us to emulate per se but it teaches us an incredible lesson how careful we have to be with the dignity and the honor of each other how careful we have to be about how we treat one another how careful we have to be about how we speak to and how we speak about one another the was destroyed because of discusses who is greater the generation of the first b mikash or the generation of the second B mikdash so it's a you know what says at the end of the day the will prove the point the first generation first they were Z to get a second bik but our generation has not yet been Z to reclaim the third bikash why because we have not yet corrected the a of because hatred animosity sectarianism is still very much alive and well within our people mhu understood the Primacy that one has to give to that one has to give to and again I think one of the most incredible things that we saw in the immediate aftermath of October 7th was the dramatic and beautiful and one of the things that we begin to see fraying within the greater Jewish Community is some of that very same and it's so important for us what whatever our ideologies whatever our beliefs to be able to go ahead and speak about one another and to one another only with the highest level of respect regard and love so if we bring this all together with this will conclude at the end of the day the 21 days ahead of us are perhaps the holiest 21 days of the year days in which we have access to the like never before we should utilize them to come closer to Aba we should utilize them to come closer to one another and that may we that before we reach the end of this beautiful and holy 21-day period to see all of our hostages returned to see all of our soldiers successful come back to their families and may we be to go together to the