The Virtue of Being Released from Vows with Rabbi Aaron Dovid Poston

[Music] warm welcome to torah i just want to stress a few things that one of the there's a whole bunch of things that we want to accomplish here right number one to learn some hebrew and i'm not even saying that's the order right to learn jewish principles to become so familiar with the way you know jewish wisdom is so hopefully we're going to learn hebrew we're going to learn major jewish fundamental principles and we're going to become more accustomed to what judaism is all about so i just want to stress this particular class we're in numbers uh chapter 30 okay it's dealing with mid-darim vowels vowels and and we're gonna read what we call shot okay shot means the simple shot and then we're gonna go deep and we're gonna find out that it's counterintuitive it's actually teaching us such profound lessons that you would never have seen in the text in fact you never might you might never have thought about these ideas had it not been brought in our oral torah it's so fundamental and it's so important so i just want to stress that down below in the description box and all the people that are joining me on skype they'll get these sheets in advance plus so in the description box there's a link and you can find the hebrew sheets the only way you get the english sheets is if you're on my personal mailing list for this thursday night class so okay so um all you guys get online right not you guys you guys is just the hebrew sheets so um we're going to learn some hebrew so the first thing if you notice in chapter 30 verse 2 oh what did i want to mention i didn't even mention it that one should not walk away thinking that they have all of judaism down you know in their little pocket right we we're scratching the surface of such deep ideas and there's so many details i can't even begin i mean there's volume see the volumes behind me nidarim so many nuances to the what was said what wasn't said what age are they still living in their parents house were they married then divorced uh are they engaged but not yet fully right with with conducion we're talking about a young woman and what age are we even talking about so all these are details that we're not going to deal with right to do that you have to learn you have to commit yourself to wanting to know what the torah is really saying so what we're doing is we're just scratching the surface uh i also attached to the email the um an interesting idea and that is the introduction on rosh hashanah on the moxer for rosh hashanah the annulment of vowels i'm not going to go through it but there is some very good commentary there that you want to go through to help understand what it is about vowels and i think that i also attached yet the the famous called nidre so what happens is this the whole jewish community everybody comes out on era of roshan and the day before rosh hashanah and what do they do they find bastions in other words ensure when we finish praying everybody gathers in small groups and they begin to nullify to release people from vows it's the most amazing thing everyone's like everyone has so much love and concern for someone else and the predicament they found themselves in have you guys experienced this have you guys experienced this i'm talking to you guys you didn't go to on school to air rosh hashanah and you sit in front and you get your vowels and nullified to release yourself from these vowels and then on call nidre you've been to shulong called nidre right yeah it's like you're in heaven that's like it i mean i can't sing it remember guys i'm not a real good singer right and you guys have to stop me right there right but basically it's such a everyone is singing together about the releasing of the all the vowels and prohibitions and oaths it goes on and on in every kind of language i copied this for your benefit here's an extra copy i don't need it if anybody wants that didn't get up there you go yeah thank you it's about to fall the other thing i wanted to mention before we begin that the whole idea is so profound what do you do when you say i am taking upon myself not to do something or that object is forbidden to me it becomes so sanchro sanct that you're making a torah law i mean what does it mean you're making you're not making natural law because you're not allowed to add or subtract from the torah and yet what you say has torah validity meaning that you will be lashed the person will be lashed if they violate are you guys listening you'll be slashed if you violate what you just made about to do or not to do which is incredible because this is something that only god can do what's the connection here how can it be in other words if you make a vow you're not going i val i'm not gonna have pizza and then you eat a piece of eat a piece of pizza what happens you get lashes like you're eating pork it's 100 forbidden from the torah only god has that ability and yet listen to this first of all what is speech speech god breathed into man a living breath correct a living soul that what is what is the difference between us and the animals we speak we communicate on a certain level that they they do not so basically by not as you read like i said shot as you read it says the person should not desecrate their words he shouldn't desecrate i am going to we're going to see through the clear car what this really means and then it says according to his word according to the word that comes out of his mouth he should do that's paship shot meaning that's the simple reading we are going to find such depth and understanding to what actually takes place so i just want to sum up this last point what is it what is it about making a vow it gives the person the right to do something that could only be done by god to create a new halachic status either upon yourself or upon objects meaning a status equivalent to that of a commandment in the torah this neder as we call it has such power has such strength that a person who violates his own vow can suffer a court imposed penalty such as lashes okay now if you know if you know any jews any religious issues that is many of the words that we say through the day even though we say i want to i'd like to i really making every effort to do something we still add these words blee nader why why do we say oh but i'm not taking an oath because we really mean what we say but we don't want to get into that category of taking an oath but we just said that this is something that's so very high and like god okay with that introduction okay we're going to now begin and i hope that people took time to read see if you if you you know we're talking about now we're going to be dealing with chapter 30 uh versus basically 2 almost through 17 but really going to deal in depth with the first few verses to become familiar with them put put the tape on pause and become familiar with what we're about to talk about so you know verse 2 says el roche hamatos what is moses doing speaking to the heads of the tribe usually i mean he's going to speak to all of israel but he's here he's speaking to them and he's telling them something but the verse doesn't tell us what he's telling them so look at the clekar madiber el rashe hamatos what exactly is moses saying over to the heads of the tribes heads of the tribes were sages they were wise men they were righteous people and they're the ones they're going to say over live in israel to the children of israel so god is saying deeper erosion meaning god is saying to moses what i'm telling you you must say over to them or live near you must say something to them but the verse does not explain what it is until the following few verses the lope should die in my yomru roshei hamatos albane israel the torah does not explicitly say what it is that they're supposed to say to the children of israel add until until what until after he already explains what it is these laws about vows are all about so what is it that he wants the heads of the tribes to know shachai that the head of the tribe lame or el hanoi there that the person who is this head of the tribe must say to the person who took the vow what does that sound familiar muta that's the paper i gave you on the um the hatariat in the darim on era of rosh hashanah that's what the bastion says to the person you are released the response is you are released and they say it three times shishiva larashi and matoshi yomro live in israel this is the statement you don't see it here but the cleo car is explaining and he'll give all kinds of proof this is exactly the message moses is giving to the leaders that they must go out of their way sit down with the people and release them from their vows regarding this remember we said the words lochell de varo the person in verse 3 should not profane his words he shouldn't propane his words which means he should what fulfill them no no no i just said that three times who otzmoloyoko he himself is not allowed to profane his words now i'm going to change the word profane to something else i'm going to translate it differently de-sanctify right we call weekdays correct is yom ho a profane day no it's profane in respect to shabbos correct okay so lo yah devaro he shouldn't he cannot de-sanctify his words we said it means he shouldn't profane his words he shouldn't desecrate his words but more than that he cannot desanctify his words who at smolo yohel he himself is not able to do it of allah but others can makilinate devaro they can de-sanctify because what did he do he said this is forbidden to me this is sancti like like separate from me right separate and kadosh are based the same idea mom is separate no others can he cannot and when it says when it says these words according to everything that comes out of his mouth whose mouth we thought it's talking about the person that made the ned there the person that made the vow but no we already told you that well i don't know if i told you but one person is equal to a bastion if the person is well knowledgeable about the laws of nadari a very solid learned person it's called and that's what these roche matos were the heads of the tribes were well learned okay so basically whatever comes out of his mouth the head of the tribe or the mumha the sage that is releasing him from his vow kenya as the verse continues he shall do he shall do what whatever comes out of that person's mouth not your mouth what did we think if you make a thou you have to do what came out of your mouth and fulfill it no we're going in the totally opposite direction you can't desecrate your words or you can't desantify your words you better go to these leaders and get it nullified or get it released and whatever he says which is likely you don't have to fulfill it or if he concludes you do have to fill it we'll see it's based on a lot of concepts but the main concept we're going to talk about is called regret having regret realizing you never should have made that vow is is going to play a big part in getting released we're not even talking about yet the daughter who's living by the father or the female who's married okay that we will talk about and someone must ask and i asked it myself why is she so different what is so unique about a female who's living by her father she's young or a married woman that her husband has some kind of right with the day that he hears of her vow to nullify the vow you have to ask that question if you read the departure but we will answer if israel hashem so now the next paragraph begins with verse 3 hashem it's specifically a man when i should i don't mean a man as a male i mean a man is a human being when he makes a vow to god so now it's also to god so it's a human being making a vow to god she meaning there are actually two types of vowels remember this is an overall view obviously there's many types of bells but there's a particular subject where we can break it into two categories hanoi der picasso if someone made a vow out of what what's cause anger al-atsumo in order to forbid upon themselves something to make it forbidden for them so that nader that kind of thou is not to hashem what what are you talking about aaron poston rabbi poston what are you talking about i made a matter to god no you made it to yourself if you did it out of anger did it to yourself i'm sorry one second the one who makes a nether out of anger that's to himself therefore it's not to hashem and also the verse says in ish and each means a person so that is specifically a person when he is an ish when he is a person miyusavdasa what is it about human beings hopefully that they have their sound mind and body it means yoshi das means that they are sane and it's well thought out that's going to be a problem now we would have thought the other way around anger is a problem and it's well thought out that's a good thing every i want to know i want you to know so many things in judaism is counterintuitive it takes breaking your head over to really delve deep into it so we have a verse in in leviticus chapter five verse four by the way it's on page one on the uh number four on the fourth horsham where it specifically talks about a human being a man who makes an oath and that is talking about it making an oath to god meaning that's when it's an oath to god when a human being when a person who's yeshavats when a person has his mind and he's saying picasso but the person that makes the vow out of anger anger no look at what it says in cohes you'll find that on page two and the english sheets be not hasty with your spirit to become wroth for wrath lies in the bosom of fools now what he's going to tell you is you're not a human being you're not you're not an you're not an ish you're not a sane human being but you're like more like an animal look at the hebrew words right the verse says you're you're a fool you're not a man the nimsho kabahema actually you're closer to an animal okay so basically when you're angry you're not sane and therefore you're not really held in such accountability either let's go on because what we're going to see is that the next paragraph describes how the rabbis look down degrading disparaging negatively to someone who makes a vow but wait not only if they make a vow but if they make a vow and they fulfill it this is really troubling aren't you troubled all our lives we're taught if you say something you have to make your word mean something it's valuable you must fulfill it now we're talking about a vowel here it's a unique unique idea so in the gamora nadarim on cuff bet 22a the gemura basically talks about this idea that the rabbis speak disparagingly about someone who makes the nether suru you know what they say the one who takes the vow node it's as if he built an obama he built a what's a bomber an altar an altar well what's wrong with an altar i want to tell you something a jew has an obligation to bring corbanos only to jerusalem only to this chosen place that god chose whether it was wherever it was but they can't just build their own altar and then it says so that's already a problem in other words if you build your own altar outside of the temple area that's a problem and then the one who's makimo one who fulfills who actually fulfills that which he made the oath kilu hickory valley whoa my heart is palpitating what are you talking about are you saying that if i make a vow that's already one problem and then if i actually fulfill my vow i'm exasperating it's such a bigger much bigger problem it's crazy but that's what ghazal tells us so what does it mean well guess what he brings proof who could demoose riot la divre ham he's going to bring us similar ideas as rashi explains khan now it says over here if you look at the verse right we're going back to um source number two over here it says this is the thing in hebrew what does it mean this is the thing this is the thing the lord commanded very nice well guess what go to the yikra chapter 17 verse 2 right you can find that on number seven in the english sheets right speak to aaron to his sons if you're looking in an art show hamish it'll tell you this is dealing with sacrifices outside the temple you just have to read the paragraph and you'll see it and over there it tells you the severity of doing such a thing this is the thing the same words appear now there is the thirteen harmonical principles i like the word exegesis i just love that word exegesis right anyway so basically we're talking about a gazero shovel one of the 13 heart and menutical principles where what two words appear two different plates the same word appears in two different places that do not seem to have any connection whatsoever yet on a spiritual level we're talking about a connection of halacha now these ideas can only be brought from a person who heard it from his rabbi all the way back to moshe in other words it's not something someone wakes up one morning and says oh i see this word in deuteronomy and i see the same word in numbers and i'm going to make my own connection you could do all you want it's very nice but it will not have any real depth in terms of or in terms of a real lee mood you're just connecting dots and there's nothing wrong with making attempts to connect us but it's not going to have any validity in reality but that's fine so we're here we're talking about the var appears by the slaughtering out of an animal outside of the temple mount or outside of where god chooses and you have those words over here by nadari so this is where the clear car says [Music] we're going to learn one from the other one just think about it over there it talks about a bummer an altar afkan bummer so too in when it says over here zad davar by the nether you're also having this altar high place what's what's an altar a high place what is it about is a mockery bummer when you're not when you slaughter an animal remember your lattice slaughter animal is outside the temple mount for consumption it's not kadosh it's whole the whole section deals with slaughtering animals not for sacrifices right that's one of the main concepts okay so it's no problem but when you slaughter it and then you offer it as an offering that's where you begin to have problems right so it's not just the slaughtering it's the following through and where does it follow through with a bummer with an altar so too when arvar in our partial dealing with vowels it also says that's how we made the connection that when it's speaking over here about the one making the vowel it's speaking as if he is making an offering on the altar and then we're going to discuss those words that the one making the vow it's as if he's building an altar here we go now this the first line the last the last paragraph the first line of that paragraph is the last line on our page he says thomas everything we just laid groundwork for and we're not even finished we're going to still be laying more groundwork the matter the reason for the matter is as follows ready for this shiyard toro le sof das i'll translate it literally and i'm going to translate it poetically the way i like to that the torah brings down at the end the opinion what was on the mind of the one making the oath that's literally what it says i'm going to say shi yar da tora means the torah downloads you like that word downloads the torah is actually downloading and i'm going to also translate today's reality reality becomes downloaded by looking at what happens at the end it's a revelation of what the opinion what of the opinion was at the beginning that's a very heavy statement i just said the torah is downloading the reality becomes downloaded to what at the end you'll see what happens at the end of what was really the intent at the very beginning and that's what is happening here because if the person wanted to if if the person made the nether out of anger he will she will have regret she or he will then go to the base then and get it released but if they did it with shiva das with a sound mind and sanity they're not going to have any regret and they're going to fulfill it and that's where all the problems begin now another concept is kihu oyster al-atsuma right the last few words on page one he's actually making something forbidden on themselves masha kolha oil no hagin i mean it's an unbelievable statement every jew can eat pizza right kosher pizza i mean if you have health issues i get it but if someone says i am making a vow i am not going to make i'm not going to eat something that's permissible to everybody what am i doing i'm separating myself from the clown i'm saying that i am higher and holier and mightier and separate the main point here is separate but we're going to talk about whole year as well so first thing he does or she does is she's separating herself everybody who's doing something but i am not and that's wrong the next thing is this is the next tragedy the person falls into that it's a raising of your heart i'm just going to translate his heartiness it's the haughtiness of the heart that comes that brings them way up above the entire congregation and separates them from everyone else do you understand this is anti-judaism right we're all in this together we share we're actually one big family and wait to see them it brought the second line down the first five words the hoytsie es atsumo minaclao they have removed themselves from from the cloud from the jewish people from the from the nation from the general populace i'm going to talk about clyde israel in in another way and i want to go into this because it's a whole nother share i read a beautiful idea of shema israel and shem al-qaeda why do we say israel before we say chamomile shouldn't the mitzvah of unifying god and stating that god is one enough why do i have to say shem israel because we need everybody else it's a national thing you don't have a king without a people that we want to take it upon ourselves to crown hashem king we need clay israel do not separate yourself from the clown do not separate yourself from israel and if you're not jewish graft yourself cling to them support them do whatever it is to join up as much as you possibly can with amira okay now in this way everything we just spoke about the rabbi speak about in gamora ha giga page 22 a it says now i focus on the word la atsuma because what he's saying is the gore is saying is a person should not each and every person should not go and build their own altar leotimo now you can translate this for themselves or to themselves and i don't know if there's a great difference but if i say you're actually building it to yourself you're making yourself like a god you're making yourself holier than everyone else right and so therefore the otsuma is a very interesting word it's for yourself but really to yourself what's the word gay mean in hebrew the word gay gimmel alef hey gay means pride but not in the positive side not in the positive sense pride as in haughtiness pride is in a very negative trait that's the hebrew the word is gimmel aleph hey gay okay so we're gonna when we come across that word we'll just translate as gay pride okay okay so all this is derek calls anybody that has this horrible trait of gas's ruach is what is thickness or coarseness of spirit which means hoodiness it's as if he built an altar as it says in isaiah chapter 3 verse 22. now we're going to use this verse later so remember it it said adam withdraw refrain from the person hashems his soul is in his nose when we talk about a soul being in your nose it's a code word for anger right like a dragon they have dragons in sweden i don't know we can't find any here but anyway i share in the sharma biapo stay away from a man a person should refrain anger is not a good thing kibomon nik shafu it says but with the validation because what is he worth if he's an angry person he's not even a human he's like an animal but wait because it says what does sound like bummer and that's what he's going to say ah the gamora says this don't read the word as in what but alabama he considered the person who withdraws from anger in other words the person who actually is not angry he's building the bummer the guy who was angry made the vow he made a mistake and he has regret and he's not going to build the altar and if he did he's not going to sacrifice he's going to get released from his vows but the one who refrained from anger who's saying and settled he is considered bomba niksa so ma and hagatsa ruach elbow how are we relating this idea of someone who's who's haughty hearty to building obama so understand the language one second alavada sagasas with absolute certainty from the aspect of his haughtiness because the person is so haughty he's building an altar to himself to themselves as we said not only that what did we say the word bama means it means an altar but it really means a high place it means a high place and therefore gevoa is what it means it means a high place it's a language of gevoa the otto dereke of the god and that is the way of those who are gay pride right geya the ge'on hamatsui babon obama they are the ones who build for themselves this high place this arrogance matsuri gambinoda but guess what this is also found in the one who makes a vow that's why there's a connection now this may sound very parv but it has two connotations to it a most likely the person's intent is to strengthen themselves and to become pious but the end result is to be separate and that can be a problem or we're saying that it's it's okay but just don't take it to an extreme not sure but we're going to get clarity as we read on ah however yes there is place to say the person who makes the vowel out of anger will prove to us everything we're saying up into this point means haughtiness so most likely the person who who vowed out of anger he was not intending to be haughty now they know their picasso what we're going to do now you need you're required to separate to find a distinction uh difference between one who makes a vowel out of sameness you know sanity and a settled mind and between one who makes a vow out of anger how we ever to know if the person originally made the vow out of anger or not ah keem you know what if the person originally made the vow out of anger he's not going to be compared to building the altar and that's why because it says hamakaimo remember the rabbi said if the guy actually fulfills it it's as if he offered on it well guess what this is proof this is the clear proof we need to everybody should be able to relate to this anything that a person does out of anger mistake that what happens is that when the anger abates when the anger cools down and you know what happens he enters a a psychological state of regret i'm going to add the word even shame it could be even shame but certainly regret he will not fulfill his vow and what is he going to do he's going to go to eloholy he will go to the sage he will go to the rabbi he will go get seek advice and get released because of the regret because of the shame that's why it says remember said if he made the oath but then he doesn't fulfill it what does he do el inisha al-nidar he goes and seeks advice he goes and asks vada becasue neder it's telling us retroactively we know remember i spoke about this idea that the torah downloads the end based on what was really in the beginning meaning reality you can see reality you can read people and this is the job of the rabbi to be able to understand should i let him off the hook this does he she have enough regret she fully understand the consequences of taking this oath so once they go and asked vatai picasso neder then certainly it was because of anger umit kharet because they obviously had regret vaz ain't doing obama and therefore they're not it's not at all like they built an altar and when ghazal tells us in gomorrah there's an interesting verse we sing it friday nights it's amazing if we only knew what we were singing in in psalms 95 11. it's on the last page number 10. so the verse says for which reason i swore in my my wrath this is god speaking obviously it's king david but through rocha koda she's he's understanding what god is thinking and feeling for which reason i swore in my wrath right that they would not enter my right room my resting place we're talking about god swearing that i'm not bringing the jewish people into israel i'm so angry with them well guess what when you're angry you can regret and nullify right release what you originally vowed for sure that's what we're praying that hashem was sincere in his regret that was hashem was sincere in his kharatta and therefore will bring us in and has since brought us in many times over him okay anyway we're back in that verse so the clear car says in my anger i swore that's what god was saying meaning i retracted i changed my mind so to speak not remember there is no emotion by god he doesn't one day feel happy in one right these are just languages that we can understand in order to learn about us this is a thing a concept that we can learn about us that when we have regret then it shows that it was out of anger and that we could be released from our vow but if one actually fulfills their vow anaboli they're not coming to the state of regret they know nisha allah and the person is not going to ask any any advice so sophomore the end proves that it was with a sane mind and a settled mind the person made that vow and the torah goes out of its way to be concerned for such things god forbid people should become so arrogant have really they need the zoo in order to come to this horrible trait of a character trait that they should take themselves away from the claw that they should separate themselves from the jewish people from the nation of israel people work so hard to be part of am israel right we know so many converts that why would someone try to work give up sacrifice learn years perhaps and then what you know we should all learn from converts right they sacrifice so much you don't want to give it up for anything okay so here it's a very important lesson do not separate yourself from the cloud alkane so if the person does separate themselves as if they actually offered an altar all offered an animal on the altar ki kiyomo gamordaso once they make that offering meaning once they fulfill their vow it shows you that they had sanity they were they knew exactly what they were doing and they have no regret and that's a problem that's a problem god doesn't want that god does why did you choose everything bleed neighbor bleed nader how often do you hear that how many times a day 100 100 times a day minimum right and if you're not hearing it you're hanging around the wrong people you got it say it yourself right okay kim kim who gamma daso by fulfilling it you show what you really had in mind the beginning the very beginning come on shah ruth takli's benion obama he shows by offering the animal on the altar meaning fulfilling the right this is the reason you built the altar so too the you you when you fulfill your vow you made that vow with full cognizance sanity and everything and that is a problem don't make the vow as we are now going to see that someone who makes a vow is called evil oh my gosh now this goes against everything that we were brought up with itself says it the same gomorrah says anybody that makes a thou nichra russia is called evil well we're not just making this up there's a pussic there's a proof there's a verse my craw look in deuteronomy 23 23. now if you don't believe me look it up yourself the second verse here i have 22 and 20 through 24. it says but if you shall refrain from making vows you will have no sin sin is a like a code word for evil you agree yes nobody's disagreeing so if you refrain from sin you will not i'm sorry if you refrain from making vows you will have no sin clear as much so far you can't make this stuff up you know this is the holy word so here we have the there's another it's like he doesn't say because it's but basically it's the same concept you have two words that are in both these verses we had the first one we saw in isaiah chapter 2 verse 22. and we have over here actually he's going to bring another verse as well in job chapter 3 verse 16. there the wicked ceased from anger they were weary rest now this we have to work out sean richard rogez who is really evil the ones who are not angry they're the wicked ceased from anger the wicked ones are not the angry ones remember we said the ones who made made the valve out of anger so they're going to be humble they're not going to be haughty and they're going to go and ask to be released but it's the wicked the one who is stubborn the one who made a sure thing out of it from the very beginning and he's going to fulfill it this is i'm telling you it's counterintuitive it goes against everything right here we go so we just saw joe 316 nero nomar seems we can learn one from the other just like over there there's mister over there just like there's a cessation of anger it's not angry at khan so too we also have someone who's making the vowel who's not angry ki eno nicara russia kimba ophen said the only way you're going to be called evil is if you do it like this without anger cover khada roguez he's already ceased from his anger up up he came who oymay benidro nevertheless he stands by his vow the ain't no initial love he doesn't seek any advice or a way out and this is igolai mil sulaima freya this is a revelation of the matter retroactively we can see exactly what was on his mind when he originally made that vow shalomi took us it was not within anger that they made the vow because there was already a lot of time that passed where the anger would have ceased and that's sham rashoim that's the verse again in job 3 16 that's where the person is called a russia evil when the anger is no longer there it's whatever was there to begin with meaning to say who nichra russia cash that he's still called evil when there is no anger oh a nano legomeric where he's no anger at all meaning the first he might have been angry a little bit and now it's gone and he's still holding to himself or there was never anger and at all certainly within a settlement of mine a sane mind he made the nether they love nose lymnos he did it to make an altar to himself do you understand this is arrogance russia therefore the person who fulfills their vows actually evil ki derek because that's called gay pride once you already have one it's in the same verses because appears in both verses as bummer look again in um isaiah chapter 2 verse 22. uh that's on note 9 which we saw i think withdraw yourselves from a man whose breath is in a nostril for in what so you have even though we have the word bummer and we read it as sorry and read as bama the same word the same verse starts off with hiddle the same idea of ceasing from anger okay the last paragraph on this page and we're almost at the end okay it goes like this this is what it means when it says ish when the person makes the vow to god keshu that's when he is a man in his vow and his sanity meaning he's sane he has a sound mind within this um stability of mind he made his vow allah and this is what the torah is telling you to meet the onset according to everything that comes out of his mouth he should do that person his end he will not come to any regret but what about the one that was no uder mitochas the person who made the vow within that within anger who are loyal said fine you know what he said it but he won't do it he won't fulfill it because he's the kind of guy that would go out of his way to speak to the rabbi to find out to get a release once his anger is abated and dies down and then it says hashem he's giving a vow to god he's making a vow to god to exclude what shalom if you make a vow to yourself for the sake of being holier than now that's not to god that's to arrogance and that is to build a bummer to yourself and the whole idea of building a bummer means you're offering not to god you can only offer to god in the temple and i just want to befriend you this last paragraph a very good friend rabbi yamatov glazer i'm sure you've all heard of him and so we were at his table i was to be the stable one i think it was a shabbos and he said to the table what if you found out today that you weren't jewish what would you do so you know somebody says i'll go and buy a cheeseburger i don't know i'll go out and eat lobster i'll eat a not kosher steak i don't know he says you know what i would do i would go out and build myself obama and sacrifice on it because non-jews are allowed meaning it's not forbidden to build your own altar and sacrifice on it only the jews as a clown we have one place that god chose and that's it we don't we don't have this opportunity so he said that's what i would do and then i'd go and convert because that is not you i could do i would love to do it anyway that was a plug for rabbi young to glazer the last two paragraphs from the last page lo jachel divaro we said these words mean he should not desecrate his own words but but others may and i'm going to use instead of desecrate i'm going to use the word desanctify they can take it down a notch there's a reason that a single male a single uh judge a single man if he's knowledgeable enough he could release the person or shlosh or three normal somewhat knowledgeable but not extremely knowledgeable people can act as judges and they're called a bastion so you want to go and you get your thou released now we did learn there's a difference in language between what the father and the husband it's called means a no and no means as if it never happened for an example if a woman marries and then they get divorced she would not be allowed to marry a cohen but if the marriage was annulled she could marry a cohen because it's as if the marriage never took place she's not a divorcee if they got divorced it's really an annulment it's not a divorce so which is stronger a release or an annulment the annulment is much stronger has a major effect in fact all of the i call crimes that were involved until was released if it was annulled it's if those crimes never existed if you they're saying we're releasing you we're acknowledging that it exists and all the crimes you know the the violations of the vow you still have to pay for so to speak and now you're released from here on in right you see to annul something has much more power right so we learn this concept of annulment from the father and the husband now i want to just preface this we're going to learn i know this may feel uncomfortable for many of the women what is going on here what kind of power does the husband have over the wife it's a really strange thing right i'm going to try my best to explain the way the clique i think it's beautiful and it should resonate if you're being honest with yourself for every human being who's listening to this just as the father and the husband the khakis they do have this power to know there's a strength in this relationship she called isha broshus bala now don't kill the messenger because every woman is under the authority of her husband what does that mean i just want to explain when a woman gets married with free will she can't be forced into a marriage the husband is the one who signs the ketubah that he's taking all the responsibility housing right shelter food clothing there's many other obligations i don't want to discuss right now too long to talk about it but he's the one who's going to take care of her she has really no obligation except to be taken care of so think about it like this because she's under and that maybe will translate rashus as under his grace meaning under his power and authority but not in the negative sense but under his grace she cannot just do whatever she wants without his permission i.e when she's he's clothing her and she says i'm only going to wear name a shoe pro prada pravda shoes whatever it is prada shoes some kind of very expensive why you know she can do that she's i'm only wearing thousand dollar shoes from now on well it's her husband that's her father that's her husband's gonna go out and work triple time now to pay for her shoes he's to go out of his way now to go shopping right go get a flight to france to pick up these shoes what if she says i'm not gonna eat gluten anymore i mean that's like gluten-free it's like twice the price and he has to go three blocks every day out of his way to get her the bread or whatever it is that she wants don't you think she should have discussed it with him first hadn't his agreement am i getting any nods okay so here we go listen to this idea doesn't matter what she makes the vowel whether it's big or small most likely she should have looked for his agreement she doesn't have the power to do this vow without his agreement so she can't really make the vow without his agreement that's why he has the power the father or the husband has the power to annul remember noah has a lot of power note retroactively which means that it must be a fact that either she was she thought he would be in full agreement he was in full agreement or she thought he would be in agreement in other words in her mind i mean he's paying for the shoes he's paying for the gluten-free so she must have thought that either he is in agreement or he would certainly agree but it must be that the agreement is part and parcel of what she's asking so ish now that's true by women what about us men we go to the base then and they have the right or authority to release us because everything that we do is ultimately in hascama with the agreement of the bastion right ultimately so we're all under the same and i i'm only talking about a specific the women who's married and her husband hears about it or doesn't hear about it or um a young girl which is we're talking about a very small window of time it could be only six months after puberty it could be for a year anyway it's a very small period of time that we're talking about anyway so what about the rest of mankind anybody man woman and child can always go to the base then and get released but it's not in other words the husband or the the father has a stronger even though it's only the time he hears it he can do it but all jews have an obligation to follow the court right it says in the torah whatever they say you have to do right you so you and your mind know i have the torah great but i also have a sanhedrin or i have a basement i have i have an authority i have a higher authority i have to listen to and so what if they would tell the jewish people no that's not right this is what you have to do i as a jew would say of course i have to follow the basement so i'm automatically under the authority of the basement so no matter what i vow i have in mind that they should ultimately agree same two like the girl the young girl or the wife should say i mean my husband have to pay for it i so too the basin is the ultimate authority of jewish law so if it goes against or it's somehow under the category of their authority i too as a jew am under their i know i'm under their authority i'm not a rebel right i'm under their authority so here it goes like this call israel so every jew brashu's bastion is under the authority of the court mccoy based in we are obligated to do whatever they say therefore every human being every jew when they make a vow they know in their head conditionally it's based on the agreement of the base then with him and when they don't agree they can uproot the ned there okay koyakin based in i was speaking to someone today they told me ramosa feinstein one of the greatest of the last generation when he discussed with people and he said i am a base then and that's true because an individual on his level has the authority of a base thing you don't need three his word was enough so too if you had three al cain limano they want to prevent that's what the whole torah i have to say so much of the laws that we have is to guard us from sin and they are there to prevent us from sinning thereby releasing us from our vows because once we have a vow what's the likelihood of us not fulfilling it i don't know it could be 50 50. it could be 5 out of 95 i don't know it doesn't matter their role their job they love us they're acting like god right they're there to protect us and in their service they're there to release us from the vows isn't that amazing that's what they do okay they're nick because anybody that makes a vows already called a sinner and they're they are there to release us from our sin are as we saw in deuteronomy chapter 23 verse 23 anyone who refrains from making vows will not sin that's what it says you can't mess with the text now the last few lines um why is it the actual language of nulling is by the father and the the the father and the husband whereas by the bastion by the it's a release since the woman is more underneath the authority of her husband and her father than all the rest of the jews who were just under based in hema bolas that's why they the husband and the father they the language that's going to be used is a retroactive it's a total release from the very beginning but whereas i'm sorry sean nederklau as if the vow never even took place but the language of hattara a release teaches something that actually was forbidden on somebody from the very beginning at least for a period of time and then it was released he was released from this forbidden nature whether it was him or the the object ki eno mufor me called the ko there's no retroactive a nullification at all sri hadava taloy because ultimately it comes down to what we call regret so the release has to have some kind of regret and that's we discussed the whole night just keep in mind if you understand this principle we talked about that's your opening right there wow i didn't realize how evil i would be just by mentioning and saying these words i want to get out of it yes i'd like to fulfill so the state next time this is what i'd like to accomplish this is my goal this is my you know what i mean matara i will do everything i can but i'll say bleenator sably nader okay so know your value you have a goal go for it shoot for the stars but don't lock yourself in to another because it's not a positive thing okay even in nazir if somebody feels they're like an alcoholic right they feel such a weakness in a certain area of their life and in order to stay alive right then this is okay i'm only going to stay alive if i mom-ish make of them but also you can condition it right this is how i feel right now this is how i feel right now this is what i need right now in my life to stay away from this poison right but it's not going to be forever i don't know when i'm giving it up so say bleed nader make sure it's without and nadar it's okay so hopefully it is right hashem we've all learned something tonight we learn a little hebrew we learn quite a lot of judaism and principles and bazrat hashem we'll see you next week let me think yep we'll see you next week was not tim so i always wish people a great life a great job to enjoy [Music] yourself [Music] yes