The Void & Spirituality of an Addict: The Deeper Truth - Rabbi YY Jacobson

Dr tski once told me Dr tki once told me he says rabi why why let me tell you something after 60 years of experience he told this to me inoka 60 years of experience has taught me that the addicts Among Us are the most spiritual Among Us and they couldn't numb their pain with rugal and jalapeno Herring and Yi cougal like some of us so they went to alcohol to drugs they destroyed themselves you know why because their void was deeper because their spirituality was deeper the yeshiva.net [Music] good evening everybody thank you so much I think I graced this schut 10 years ago I think some of you were there so I'm really thrilled and honored thank you Rabbi and rebit and canterman for bringing us together oh wow there's a whole crowd up there okay welcome for bringing us together on this auspicious evening of and thank you everybody for gracing us with your beautiful presence thank you for Rabbi Kay for your very moving words about your son of blessed memory may he be an eternal source of light confidence and inspiration to you the family all of the Jewish people in Israel and the whole world there's an old anecdote about a couple in New York that didn't have children for many years and a great cabalist came for a visit from Israel and they went to visit him and they asked him if he could pray for them to be blessed with a child and he said of course and he asked the Father the husband and the wife to write their names and their mother's name on a piece of paper and he said he's going tonight back to Israel tomorrow he'll be at the Western Wall and he'll put the note into the wall and pray to Hashem that they have children great he comes back for a visit 5 years later and he's walking in the street and he sees the woman whom he met a few years ago and he says Hi how are you how are you he looks at her and he says has there been good news she says yeah we have 10 children he says what she says 10 children we have a minion we don't have to go to schul anymore we have a minion the Rabbi says that was fast how did that happen she said well the first year we had triplets the second year I gave birth to twins I decided I needed a break so I took a break for a year the next year I had twins the next year I had triplets the rabbi is like wow where's your husband I want to give him the biggest kiss and hug in the world she says my husband went to Israel he says that's so nice what's in Israel he went to Jerusalem why he went to the Kel to the Cel why he's looking for the note he wants to take it out I think it was Mark Twain who said when I was nine my father was brilliant when I was 19 he was a fool now I'm 29 and I have a couple of kids and he has a lot of wisdom to share it's funny how much the old man learned in 10 years we live in a generation where everyone has a lot to say about the youth everyone has an opinion the opinion is often very negative entitled you ever heard that word they're so entitled I get emails every day my kids are so entitled another email what happened to Kim they don't respect anymore I respected my mother through thick and thin she writes to me you think it was easy you know my mother but my kids just don't have the same ethic spoiled addicted of course obnoxious narcissistic selfish self-indulgent talk too much about their feelings what happened with being a soldier put one foot ahead of another foot and Forge forward like your parents and ancestors did for the last 15.3 billion years I mean for the last 5,783 [Music] years people have a lot of opinions about a young generation they're worried they're concerned it's a very powerful conversation and I think that utas KV provides a very potent relevant insightful not just reactive approach but a Visionary proactive approach to understanding what they would call this sugya this conversation this aspect of Jewish life today and more importantly Tomorrow there's a mishna in pavas everybody knows the ethics of the fathers chapter 5 that there were 10 Generations from Adam and the Torah enumerates the 10 Generations the names of those 10 generations to tell you how much patience God has all the generations were digressing deteriorating morally becoming worse and worse and worse and worse until finally noak's generation came and everything plots and the Earth vomited its inhabitants and the flood came and then there's another Generations from no to tell you how patient God was that all these generations contined to decline morally until came and he received the reward of all of them and the commentators ask a very powerful question doesn't make sense you say from Adam to the generations were becoming worse and worse until the generation of n they would destroy it then you say from to the generations were becoming worse and worse until abam came and he received the reward for everybody which reward if they were becoming worse and worse doesn't say received the reward for everybody because it was no reward it was a flood so if it was say they were doing good and doing better and better and got and he reaped the reward I understand but it says just like the first time they were morally declining and then came and he received everybody's reward where was their reward and why the difference between him and we'll get back to it in a few moments theor says at the end of the Mish says at the end of the signs of the signs before Mia comes one of them is those who fear sin will be scorned people will look down at them they will be treated as something like repulsive people will be allergic allergic to it will be like disgusting in people's eyes oh you fear sin on a literal level it means there Comes A Time in history when people lose their moral compass and anybody who has yay somebody who has fear of Heaven seems like strange archaic person Im so you're like a weirdo you belong to a different generation that's one interpretation but the S of Lublin the of Lublin the Great Master Hartz was one of the great students of the maged of m whose yard site was commemorated today the 250th yard site of the great maged of M passed away 1772 so 2022 is exactly 250 years since the yite of the mag of Mich and one of his students the S of Lublin writes that I heard from my friend reusa anol was a friend of the S ofin and another student of the M of M and said that the meaning in the mission is very different doesn't mean they will be disgusted with people who fear sin because of the loneliness of the generation but in a classic cdic Spin and twist and in a classic expression of the graciousness and deep humility and Holiness of he said it means something else before mashiah comes fear of sin will be looked down at because the Jewish people will be craving a relationship based on love not based on fear so the Paradigm of serving God exclusively out of fear out of dread with a sense of anxiety or a sense of pressure I'm afraid they will look down at it it will be scorned it will be seen as really cheat it's cheap why this is what he says I heard from because they're going to be craving a relationship of a of of deep attachment of Love of affection I think we understand what that means if you'll ask if you'll ask somebody why should why you think you should invest in your marriage why should you make your marriage a better marriage and a husband to the wife says well I'm afraid the husband says I'm frightened for my wife if I don't behave nicely who knows what she's going to put into the chant who knows yeah who knows what the house is going to look like who knows how I'll be treated who knows how I'll be punished and penalized it's going to be ganam that's why you're that's why you're in therapy yeah there's no other reason I'm just frightened I'm just frightened of the consequences it's like what do you do you shrug your shoulders and like NE the greatest motivation for a good relationship is the relationship itself I want a relationship that's not based on fear and dread and anxiety but a relationship that's based on the beauty of attachment on the depth of connection I want to be connected the greatest reward for a good relationship is a good relationship the greatest reward for a good marriage is the marriage itself nothing else that the food is going to be better that's the greatest reward so there Comes A Time in Judaism when the Jewish people say I don't want a relationship with God simply cuz he's bigger and stronger than me my tati is stronger than your tati and he could punish me and the fires in purgatory are going to be very powerful and Intense or I'm simply afraid of consequences in this world next world I mean if it stops you from doing something terrible go ahead you know but to Define Judaism on that Foundation says there comes a time when people say I'm not I'm not enthusiastic about it I need a deeper connection I need an emotional connection I need to be able to feel the love I need to be able to feel that this helps me dance and celebrate life it allows me to actualize my potential it allows me to touch the heavens it allows me to touch my Essence it allows me to suck the marrow out of life and live life to the fullest physically emotionally psychologically spiritually I need to feel the love I need to feel the Ecstasy I need to feel the internal intimate connection based on positivity based on attachment not based on fear why right before Messiah comes and the answer is because the definition of g the definition of redemption is Oneness Oneness Between Heaven and Earth Oneness between soul and body Oneness between the animal Consciousness and the Divine Consciousness Oneness within Humanity Oneness within the Jewish people Oneness of the cosmos and the universe and Oneness between Creator and creation and a relationship that's based on Oneness is always motivated by the desire to be close not by the fear of being distant not by the fear of the penalties for being distant it's created by the passion of how beautiful we say every morning before ding the children of who you gave the part of Ding A lot of people skip so don't worry if it doesn't ring a bell I know you're doing it for 60 years but it's fine don't worry don't take it personal that's when your add usually kicks him you know that page it's like you're done you know call me byan but the words are very rich because of the love that you loved them and the joy that you rejoiced in him you celebrated his existence and you gave him that name therefore I want to be in a relationship with you and then we say how fortunate we are so there is a gus relationship and there's a Gula relationship an exil like relationship is a relationship that still has a lot of toxicity it has a lot of trauma it has a lot of pressure a lot of parts of me are not involved that's what exile mean Exile means parts of my soul as the alterb always says parts of my soul are locked away parts of my soul are not present in the relationship so yes fear becomes a very motivating factor but in a relationship ship of G of unity all of me is present in the relationship how can All of Me be present in the relationship only when all of my emotions are fully present every nerve in my nervous system every fiber in my being every cord in my heart and every neuron in my brain celebrates the relationship wow what does this mean what happens how do you prepare for such a relationship first thing is you have to get in touch with your emotions you have to know what you're feeling you have to know what you're experiencing if I repress my feelings if I don't know what I'm feeling which some of us are very good at not knowing what you're feeling you may be married to such a person in other words it's not intentional I'm just clueless right much easier to eat cougal than to feel emotions much easier it's also healthier it's also cheaper you have to go to therapy for cougle if you feel your emotions you may have to pay a therapist if you eat cougle you're good so you kill 20 birds with one stone you numb your emotions your taste buds are happy yeah you add something to your fat Reserve right it's beautiful so that's one way of dealing with it but there's no way I can graduate I can evolve from from a fear-based relationship to a love based Rel relationship if I don't ask myself what am I afraid of what do I want what do I need what do I yearn for that's what's happening in our generation not everybody's comfortable with it I happen to be you'll forgive me don't Stone me I happen to be a big fan of Our Generation not because of some Blind Faith cuz I know the youth I deal with them every day they're the most precious of the precious the most most authentic of authentic most real of MMS pure idealistic they just don't want to bury hypocrisy anymore it used to be everyone used to have a wall to--all carpet you remember why the answer is everything had to go under the carpet so when you have a carpet wall to wall is's enough place to put everything under today the new style is tear out the carpet bring it up emerge on PES we hide a under the couch and then by the children find a and they want it used to be a Parker pen or a calculator today it's a private plane private yacht whatever it is at least a tablet if you give them potato chips for the AF like we got they'll call Child Services on you such a level of abuse Parker Pen a Parker Pen for it used to be the Rockefellers got a Parker Pen for the a and the schar got potato chips and if you were like middle class you know right your father owned a station wagon so you got like a black and white or maybe maybe you know a calculator what's the meaning of that custom open your hearts the meaning of the custom is as we celebrate the night of Freedom tradition tells us whatever you're going to hide your children are going to expose everything we hide and we try very hard to hide it not even consciously unconsciously they're going to find it and when they find the A and they deliver it to mmy and tati what do you do some of us look at them and say who asked you don't you see it was under the couch keep it there keep it there you're bringing shame to the family it's your problem you need therapy that's one thing you can say another thing you could say is you could take the you could say thank you for bringing awareness to our family let me give you a prize and only when you take that a and you internalize it and you eat it and you look at it and you focus on it can you all say together as a family that's when we graduates from a place of Exile and defensiveness to a place of redemption that's when we go from a place of defensiveness which is always based on fear and Trauma I have to be defensive here's the rule when your children share with you how horrible you were as a parent your natural instinct is you ungrateful you ungrateful self centered lazy ignorant clueless kof get out but that's just Maya migdala being being triggered and trying to survive you're more powerful than being defensive you can actually listen whether it's right or wrong is a good discussion an important discussion but most importantly you don't have to become defensive you could really really listen and tune in and create space for them to process their emotions children need to process their emotions and today even 40y olds still look to momy and tati sometimes to process their emotions you're lucky you don't have to cut it down and tell them how wrong they are how obnoxious they are how good you were and how much sacrifice you had that tell your therapist tell your schwier she'll agree with you can I really listen it's hard for people to really really listen we become defensive but when I become defensive my child says to himself or herself they're doing it again there's nobody to talk to parents don't like hearing this they have to be more grateful maybe but the only way we can help people reach higher places is from within when we let them process what they're feeling and experiencing it and then grow from a place of inner awareness by cutting you down by am by trying to force you to amputate your heart and just do what I did really what she's saying to you is mommy you have a lot of trauma so now you just want to continue it for the next Generation this is your Mo tati I get it but let's try to create a paradigm shift what if we don't have to be defensive what if we could really listen maybe I'll learn maybe I'll grow can you create space for it one of the most powerful teachings I heard myself from the I was 14 years old I don't I can't tell you I understood it then but I heard it and I heard it very well until today it comes back to me and I could still see it in my mind's eye I could still see the Reb sitting it wasab 1985 the end of 85 I was a year after my bar mitzvah and the Reb then quoted the Rashi in the beginning of a yov was already an old man all he wanted was he wanted to retire in Israel yeah sounds familiar you buy a beautiful apartment Le I already dealt I dealt with asov I dealt with loveon I dealt with ASF again I dealt with it's time to settle down is that such a bad thing he was over a hundred I want a little Serenity what happened the agony of Y being sold into slavery and disappearing for 22 years leaped upon Jacob and Rashi continues from the med says they want Serenity in this world it's not enough what they have there in and I still remember the asking the question what is so bad it almost sounds like that yakob was punished because he wanted Tranquility is that really such a horrible thing is that such a terrible thing to say I want want a little calmness in my life it's almost like a cruel sadistic response you want to relax not on my watch let me show you I still have in my bag of tricks something that's going to Rattle you and stir your Kish you thought ASA was bad you thought love was a gangster let me show you what's going to happen and indeed what happens now to yob is unfathomable thinking that YF is dead and really he wasn't Dead come on and what's wrong if you give him Serenity and what's wrong for asking Serenity and then the Reb said but look in Rashi he uses the word sadim sikim ask for serenity and God says it's not enough but why you calling them if it's such a bad thing to ask for serenity why why they called sadim so he says that's the key these are sadim who ask for it it's not a bad thing at all then he said something I'm going to say it in my own words the way I understood it and I have to say I still remember the emotions with which the Reb communicated this idea he became very emotional he was close to was close I felt like almost was cry was almost crying but I'm not sure I understood it I'm not sure I understood it the gor says sometimes it takes 40 years to understand what said sometimes sometimes it takes four decades or three decades to understand something you heard it but you're not ready to understand it and the Reb said wanted Serenity the story of Y leaped at him it wasn't a punishment because he asked for serenity it wasn't even God defying his request you want relaxation no way you got the wrong world you got the wrong God it was a response to his request was the response he wants Serenity this is what happened cuz let's think of about it what did the family look like at that time externally the family looked perfect it's a beautiful family right 12 Boys Around the table 12 girls around the table or daughters-in-law around the table everybody smiled at the B Mitzvah pictures everybody was like this everybody at the everybody was smiling the mitz was unbelievable the sh were like this is the perfect family unbelievable also the only Jewish family but also the perfect family at the surface everything looked beautiful but what was happening beneath the surface beneath the surface this was a split family the brothers hated y they couldn't speak to him they were jealous of him they wanted to kill him they ended up throwing him in a pit but the very notion that they wanted to kill him they wanted to kill him hide their footsteps hide the evid and throw them into one of the pits superficially it looked great internally there was so much pain there was so many wounds there was so much misunderstanding wants Serenity what does serenity mean what does serenity mean there's superficial serenity there's Serenity which I sometimes call Serenity just leave me alone n my pain let it look good God says you deserve real Serenity you need authentic Serenity and the only way authentic Serenity can happen is if the infections come out and they're dealt with was not a Defiance of jakob's request it was allowing this family to go through the healing that it needed for 22 years those 22 years everybody had to transform themselves Yehuda who said what money will there be in this kid staying in the pit let's sell him the same Yuda 22 years later says I have guarant I became the guarant I will be a slave and let go free how can I go up to my father without this young blad that's when y doesn't contain himself and he says and when came down to Egypt and he lived his last 17 years in Egypt 17 the B says Z says those were the 17 best years of his life that was Serenity this was a healed family this was a family that processed its pain processed its emotions now the foundation for a Jewish people can happen when Brothers can trust each other when sisters can trust each other now the nation would be able to survive for the next 3,000 3 and a half thousand years it's a different type of Serenity sometimes we look at those ch children who shake up the family they sometimes leave the cut and Beaten Track they challenge their parents they deprive you from your night and your day they cause you sleep as lights and you say I have raised a beautiful family with sweat blooded tears all I want is a little Serenity but the truth is that sometimes it's these children who actually allow us to become real people and real Jews they allow us to transcend our egos to face our traumas to look at our triggers to see our insecurities and to finally decide whether we serve God or we serve the social system whether we are social conformists whether we are social for thank [Applause] you these children challenge me they challenge you to go into the afon to expose the afon and ask myself what's really bothering me what's really bothering me my neighbors my relatives my in-laws my sister-in-law my brother-in-law uncles aunts seminary schools Nas you were supposed to be a Nas machine hey Nas machine where are you why you malfunctioning okay let me take you to a therapist fix the nas machine how much is it $300 okay no problem here's a credit card fix the nakas machine and send them back home when you're done yeah we want to put them on a conveyor belt hatch them match them dispatch them and you know what if it works God bless for some it's amazing but some of you were blessed with deep souls and sensitive Souls they don't like conveyor belts they can deal with hypocrisy especially if they're hsps highly sensitive people they're orchids they're not dandelion especially if there's been developmental trauma never mind if there's been molestation or abuse never mind if there was pain or dysfunction never mind if there's things we know or we don't know they may not even know and maybe even relegated to their subconscious and we all have to grow up and stop asking what's wrong with you and instead start asking what happened to you the question what's wrong with you is one of the most unfair questions give me your hand give me your heart and let let's find out together what happened to you not what's wrong with you and in this processing of emotions what we're seeing today and mothers and fathers ask me every day where is all this trauma coming from where is it all coming from who created it and the answer is my dear friends also was at the end of 10 Generations AR rovin was at the end of 10 Generations but it was a big different kept to himself changed his generation and when you heal a generation you don't only heal that generation you heal retroactively all previous generations today we know with epigenetics that in our genes we carry the traumas that we experience they used to think trauma is just an event that happens to you no trauma goes into my jeans so I may have in my jeans the trauma of my father my grandfather my great-grandfather maybe 2,000 years ago your child may be carrying in his or her jeans or your student or your disciple or your friend may be carrying in their jeans your experiences your parents experiences your great-grandparents experiences who knows how back and it's coming out and you know what happens a generation is given the opportunity to heal retroactively or the previous generations because when you're talking about G two things have to happen number one we have to become fully present in the relationship with all of our emotions but something else happens we become the tikon retroactively for all of Jewish history that wasu's uniqueness he fixed everybody when my trauma emerges in its full pain and instead of running away I can can make space for it and I can be an empathetic witness it's not only me I heal I heal retroactively all the souls that are not here anymore but they carry it and they hold on to it that's who our children are healing that's who our youth are healing we need awe we need reverence we need respect and we need a lot a lot of empathy for ourselves and for others and here's the word here's the rule you could never have empathy for others if you don't have empathy for yourself there's no way I could create space for your pain if I don't create space for my pain because if I don't create space for my pain and you share with me your pain all I'm doing is I'm naturally triggered to do with your pain what I do with my pain which is numbing or suppressing or repressing so when my children or my students are triggering me b madly what's the is be curious look at what's happening inside of you watch what's happening in your heart watch what's happening in your soul watch what what's happening in your nervous system create space for it and then you'll be able to create space for that person this is deep work this is what the said before you rebuke somebody else there's one more person you have to challenge it's yourself if I'm ever rebuking you from a place of anger and impulsive toxicity I'm not talking to you I'm trying to deal with my own inner chaos if I'm not regulated if I'm not self-regulated if I am in survival mode coping mode I'm an alligator I'm in my Reptilian Brain so I'm a reptile how do you expect a reptile to educate a child explain that to me you sometimes watch a parent or a teacher talking to a child and basically I'm watching it the child is seven and the teacher is two he went into his Reptilian Brain so he's in survival mode the child is seven and that's why the child sounds much more intelligent I don't blame him he's two he's seven if I'm not self-regulated if I can't go from my reptile Myan brain to my Mia bra to my prefrontal cortex how in the world am I supposed to communicate to this student with this child from a place of expansive Consciousness from a place of caring and empathy I'm just trying to cope I'm I'm literally choking and that's why in the Tanya the biggest focus is you have to know which soul is talking when the says you have a and kiss we used to believe the AL when he wrote this in 1790 1780 that he probably knew what he was talking about but in 1980 we got the CAT scans and suddenly when you look at the CAT scans you see the T in the pictures the brain has literally layers it evolves there's your amigdala the stem of your brain The Reptilian Brain it's it's just trying to live it relegates your breathing it relegates your temperature it makes sure you're surviving all the systems that you desperately need biologically to live just like a crocodile or a lizard and then there is neam they call it the mamalian brain that's the elephant inside of me or the chimpanzee depends on the day sometimes the mouse sometimes the rat it's for the men's section it's the chimpanzee very emotional elephants are emotional they're mammals told neam it's my little puppy or my German Shepherd that is very emotional my lyic brain neam it's not bad it's just an animal it's just an animal that's trying to live and survive then you have neas it's a rational Consciousness prefrontal loes prefrontal cortex allows for executive thinking allows for longterm Vision allows for weighing the pros and the counts delaying ratification seeing the bigger picture morality and then you have that which doesn't show up on the CAT scans because you can't take a picture of it it's the neiss you can't take a picture of it cuz it doesn't have a picture it's divine it's Transcendent it doesn't have an image it's a piece of divinity it's a derivative of the consciousness of infinity you can't take a picture on a CAT scan of infinity that's the ne if I'm in my survival mode there's no way I can tune into my Divine Consciousness can't even tune into my rational Consciousness this is the process that people need to be aware of in this generation prea when we want to develop that type of relationship that is not based on fear but based on real attachment based on real connection and every one of those CH children and that youth in your classroom or in your house or in your neighborhood Who rattles the community and rattles the family it's giving us a gift to achieve real Serenity real relationships real authenticity a yish that's not based on superficiality social conformity hypocrisy suppression repression falsehood lies covering up criminals tolerating Injustice just to make sure that our system is perfect it's like the Jew who had diabetes and he had gout gout is painful and he was in the hospital the same room with a gentile the Gentile also had gout the came in and he turns to the Gentile and he says no show me the foot that has the problem shows him the foot and the doctor starts touching it he starts hollering the doctor starts poking he's a good doctor he's poke and he's screaming you never heard somebody scream like this for half an hour St the doctor goes to the Jew he says no show me the foot Drew shows him his right leg he starts poking and hacking and Drilling and poking and needles and mes and the Jew is quiet the Gentile looks at him after the doctor leaves he says I never seen a man with so much self- contr control how did you do it he says you think I'm stupid I showed him the healthy leg think I'm a you show the the leg with the gout you don't do that I feel sometimes that we have become a community where we only like to show the healthy leg we don't have another leg that's how the maget interprets the the the the man who came to hamay and Hill he said teach me the whole Torah on one leg so the maget says he didn't want that his mood should fluctuate he didn't want the roller coaster of life he always wanted stability consistency doesn't work that way a healthy Community could be self-reflective if Torah is true we don't have to cover anything up we don't have to cover up the molesters Among Us and the abusers Among Us and the stupidity Among Us and the lack of awareness and the cluelessness and we don't have to cover up our own mistakes if you're connected to truth you could be vulnerable we all did the best with the tools that we had and now comes the age of healing and the age of healing means we can talk vulnerably and honestly with authenticity and tenderness and compassion and love about our limitations about what we try to do and what we did about the fact that some of us had our brains shut down at the age of six and we are in survival mode yes and we didn't know any better I would say most divorces that I see happening today are not because couples are not compatible it's because one of them or both of them are living in active trauma and when you're in Act of trauma you simply are not functioning as a human being you can't if a tiger right now comes into the great synagogue right now and comes near me at the stender and all of you stand up and run and I say hey relax I'm talking to you no and I say okay let's meditate we're going to meditate close your eyes feel the support feel the support of the ground feel your bench feel Sensations in your body and let's breathe and let's Vu and let's expand the vegus nerve and let's get from the migdala to prefrontal and you're like Rabbi why why good luck I'm out I'm like what why is this crowd so R like why can you all relax the answer is because there's a tiger in the room that's what active trauma means your wife is talking to you about PES plans there's a tiger in the room you either freeze you fight or flight or for you can't function there's nobody there and there's a reason there's a tiger in the room probably at age three or four or five or six or seven whatever happened that part of the brain shut down and when it's triggered when these situations are triggered it just you go into that space if I'm not aware of this how can I begin even to heal this awareness is painful but that's the gift of Our Generation all the all the issues are coming out you know why because God says it's time for Redemption it's time for intimacy you can't have intimacy when your heart and brain are offline intimacy is Oneness I can't have intimacy if I'm not here if I'm not alive if I'm not passionate if I'm not on fire but if my whole life I'm defensive I'm just coping It's A coping mechanism there's no intimacy at best there is survival so I may be religious because I'm trying to survive and religion fits into survival there's no ecstasy that's not Gula that's what we're seeing and it's a gift it's an opportunity and we are forever going to be thankful to the young people who are challenging Us in this way every one of them every family now has somebody challenging them the only families I know that are still perfect are the families I don't know every family is being challenged one way or another and we want to just like throw them into therapy send him back when he's normal you're trying to cope I get it I get it we need a support system you need to feel the pain but there's an opportunity here for real transformation for real growth and that's going to create relationships that are a completely different caliber completely different age and they're not only healing Our Generation they're healing retroactive ly our parents and our grandparents like cu the generation at the end of G needs to heal all the generations from Adam that's why the kids are struggling so much they're not only dealing with my stuff and your stuff they're dealing with thousands of years of stuff it's coming out it's all coming out we go crazy like what's happening what what we were so bad you're much better than a lot of people that preceded you but the truth is they're carrying within them so much depth of hundreds of generations andu the Paradigm of love says come let's Embrace not what happened not what's wrong with you but what happened to you and then we can go and heal and heal all that all those genes all those sensitivities and all of history experiences a TI when things are coming up for you and you want to run away you want to go into survival mode remember if you could stay present with your pain and stay present with your children's pain with your students pain with your grandchildren's pain you're not only healing you and you're not only healing that child you're healing all of history Kel when I was a child the night of PES the LA rebbi used to give matah he would distribute matah to uh people who helped out in his home or his Secretariat and my father was one of the people who would get matah the night of PES I went along with them for many years the re had accustom to the adults he would give a whole matah to the children he always gave a broken mat a piece of AO a piece of matah now it's never a problem to find a broken matzah cuz you're lucky even to find a whole matzah you know what I mean so he was always those broken pieces he would give it to the children so every year when I went before Mitzvah he would give my father a whole M and he would give me one of the pieces of broken matah this is the first night of PES after my before the Seder I remember one year I went in and it came my turn I was standing in front of the by his room his face was glowing like aim was the first night of PES you could see the energy the of p on his holy face I'll never forget I was a kid and the rebba was standing by the door of his room he had his capot his GLE his hat and he had a whole thing a whole pile of matah covered in brown paper and he opened the paper and guess what it was all whole matah usually on top you have a lot of broken pieces so he started to lift it up he lifted up the first mat to look for the broken piece no broken piece he lifted the second the third the fourth the fifth and there was no broken piece of mat he went all the way down till the bottom and I don't know how but every matah was completely whole and I still remember the rebba took both of his hands he took the pile and he turned it over and he started to do it again I guess he thought maybe you know there was somewhere hidden over there right Al it's hidden over there so he turned it over literally and started again from the opposite direction CU he turned it over and he went down again and there was no broken mat I'm standing there and what am I thinking I'm thinking La you don't tell I won't tell nothing will happen if you give me a whole matah don't worry I'm not going to go down to 770 and make an announcement to 10,000 people hey I'll just go home with my what's wrong I'll get a h matah like is it such a tragedy if I get a whole mat even though I'm not by mitzvah I'm I'm thinking this I didn't say any of this but he finished the second time and I could see as much as I could see that the rebu was like reflecting pondering what to do and uh I saw like like he started he was thinking whether to break to break a matah but somehow he didn't want to break a matah he didn't want to so he walked away to go find a new pile of matah a whole new pile of matah which he would have to untie and open up and bring back so he started to walk away and I could see the rebba was like it looked like he was thinking and then he walked back and he took a matah and he broke it he broke the matah and he gave me the broken piece and he looked me in the eyes and he said and I took the mat and I went on I knew the story I was there but I never ref reflected on the story I was a little kid you know I got the broken matah the re broke it in front of my eyes and that was it as years progressed and I went around the block a few times and I had to deal with some of my own traumas and struggles and I traveled the world and I met a lot of very special souls and a lot of broken Souls I reflected the story came back to me and I asked myself why did re not want to give me a h mat and I saw he didn't want to break it but he broke it and he broke it in front of me and he gave it to me I don't know the answer but I could speculate and perhaps the speculation has some truth to it and that is I feel that the lau was giving me or intimating a very subtle message and that is don't be afraid of broken places and don't be afraid of broken souls and don't be afraid of confronting broken situations often it's very easy to be afraid it's afraid easy to be afraid of my own Brokenness it's afraid it's easy to be afraid of other people's Brokenness who wants to see Brokenness we like to see holess but there's going to be a generation where people are going to be confronted with a lot of Brokenness and we could do one of two things we can always say get your life together you loser it's just your imagination come on get over it you spoiled brat we could do that but what's really happening is it's our own it's our own Brokenness that cannot deal with somebody else's Brokenness so I have to become defensive I have to become aggressive or we could do something much deeper we can really really create space for our own Brokenness and space for other people's Brokenness and I think that night empowered me in a very powerful way that whenever I read an email or I hear a story where I meet somebody and people share a lot of broken stories lots of broken stories I get around 200 emails a day and it's not an exaggeration and people usually don't write to me Rabbi why why I won the latter and I wanted to give you 50% that's not what a typical email looks like a typical email looks like right when I was 7 years old now I'm 72 wow but I still know what happened when I was 7 years old that's how it begins I'm not going to tell you how it ends you'll figure it out and I meet these people and I remember that moment with when he looked me in the eyes and he broke the matah and he said cuz if you could look somebody in the eyes and become an empathetic witness for their pain you can also become a catalyst for their healing where you can really really create space for people's emotions something magical happens we don't realize how magical it is we often think empathy is just a cute nice little thing the alter writes in the most important attribute in isid empathy empathy is magical because when I become a womb a the word ra comes the word which is a womb a womb doesn't judge a womb just contains when I could become a spiritual womb like mothers are physical wombs an empathetic witness for your journey but with real real empathy I have to suspend my triggers I have to suspend my ego I have to suspend my fear I have to suspend my defensiveness I have to suspend my insecurity I have to suspend my toxicity and guess what I have to stop justifying myself I have to stop telling you how righteous I was I have to stop telling you how I tried so hard I have to stop telling you how I'm a martyr I have to stop telling you that I'm God's gift to humanity I have to stop telling you that you're a brat I have to stop telling you that you could kick yourself into shape if you wouldn't be such a victim I have to stop philosophizing rationalizing justifying operating with my cerebral brain to suppress all pain I have to stop all of that that's hard if you're a Jew and you have a yish cup and this is what you've been doing your whole life and suddenly I have to go to a different place and I can emote I can experience that and I could even shed a tear with you and hold your hand and say let's take a walk together to find out not what's wrong with you but what happened to you what happened to me Souls have the power to heal the power is within the power is deep the power is profound and when I can actually be there with you in your pain where nothing has to be hidden anymore the AF could come out your soul will know exactly what to do in order to find the light of God there because it's always there it's always present you know still it's hard the journey is hard and it's why I always found that in our generation it's fascinating I landed yesterday five o'clock my first speech was shortly after from but that didn't happen so I went to B like 60,000 Jews came to celebrate and I was there to like 5 in the morning there were 2,000 people 3,000 people there till 4 4 in the morning I finally ran out got to the hotel at 4:30 and I was thinking to myself you know I don't know in the last 200 the alter Reba came out of prison 224 years ago in 1798 when he came out of prison it was in Petersburg it was an island in Petersburg like Alcatraz they put the greatest criminals there because the prison is surrounded by a river on all sides so you can't run away I was there you could see it I was there when I was in Petersburg a few years ago because this was a place for capital crimes treason and alter was accused of treason he wanted to overthrow officially Powell I first when he came out of prison onut KV you know if I was a fly on the wall and I was watching it what would I think I would think okay I feel good for this Rabbi but how important is this day I mean zaris Russia was in its full might and here was a fine cidic Rabbi who can go home okay very nice two centuries past and where is zist Russia it's in Wikipedia and where is communist Russia in Wikipedia and where is present Russia Aus thanks to Putin but this year I think more classes faans events happen in the whole world than Israel probably more than in the last 224 years in Russia itself last night and tonight there are more than 400 in Russia Russia and Ukraine those who stayed in Ukraine more than 400 Gatherings faans classes shm events in honor of utas and that's talking about Russia itself the question is what happened why is that happening the answer is because the Jewish people as the gamar says page the Jewish people they may not be prophets but they're children of prophets in other words the Jewish immune system is very powerful Jews feel they feel things the Jewish Collective Consciousness has divine inspiration and the Jewish people feel and they know that the teachings of the B the teachings of the balat Al and their students are the oxygen for Our Generations and I use the term oxygen because what does oxygen do oxygen is not luxury oxygen is literally it allows you to live it allows you to thrive it allows you to function because in a generation like ours when people are processing so much and there is so much anxiety and there is so much stress and there is disappointment and there is uncertainty on one level there's prosperity and there are Miracles and there are incredible blessings and on another level there's a lot of stress and exhaustion and anxiety and mental illness and Trauma emerging it's like a paradox I have found in my life and I believe it's true in the lives of so many who have tasted and internalized the light of the B and the AL the light of that the oxygen the inspiration it gives in this time is incredibly powerful why because number one it always taught and always understood and always communicated the truth and that is that there's never a situation where your internal core can be damaged one of the key teachings of the B is despite anything that happened in your life even if I have been in coping mode for 50 years straight the core of my soul is a it's divine and therefore it's infinite and therefore it's indestructible and therefore its power is absolute and non-negotiable and therefore all the confidence and all the charm and all the creativity and all the Curiosity and all the love and all the joy and all the optimism that this Soul essentially has could never be obliterated and eliminated even if I had no access to it for so many years because my core was an exile in gullas that conviction that awareness that knowledge about yourself and about your loved ones is incredibly powerful but it's teachings go one step further and say it's not just your core is powerful it's even deeper than that they take you one step further and they say even all your negative emotions are searching for healing and correction and TI there's an amazing teaching of the mag of M again whose yite is today and the mag says listen Open Your Hearts YF is in the house of ptif the wife of ptif is trying to seduce him one day he comes home and there's nobody home and this is her opportunity and she says lay with me and the talmud quotes the opinion that YF surrendered he couldn't hold back anymore and what happened the last moment he saw an image of Yakov his father in the window and when he saw that image he ran out he fled and the mag of says what did he see he didn't know what yakob looked like what does he mean he saw the image of yakob his father in the window and that was it listen to what the maget says he says as follows P's wife was beautiful she was Charming she was creative she was appealing she was exciting the gamor says that she changed her uniform three times a day she changed her outfit breakfast lunch and dinner in order to impress YF I imagine the credit card bill of poer three times a day a new outfit every day of the week it's like in the PES hotels a lot of anxiety you know I tell my wife my packing is simple black black black black black white you don't like it don't look at me there was something very powerful about her and ysep was touched he was drawn to her says the maged What stopped him he saw the image of yakob his father it says in Z that Yakov is the embodiment of mider Yakov embodied the Divine attribute of beauty when YF looked atra his wife suddenly he saw the image of yob his father says the mag this was a psychological process y asked himself what am I really looking for she's a married woman what am I really looking for you could just tell yourself your emotions are bad you're a horrible person you have a crush and you're not supposed to have a crush you're evil you're going to burn that's the gullas way of doing it the Gula way of doing it is you're looking for something you're searching for something P's wife represents something that you need what is it and ysf had an answer tieras there's a beauty there's a Harmony that I'm searching for there's a wholeness that I need and then YF says but one second the source of feris is y so why should I go and use a much lower base level of tieras which is not even mine which is going to create wreak havoc and destruction when I can go back to the source and get real Beauty which will actually fill my soul because it's not an addiction it's something that I can actually make mine he ran away not because he ran away from Pier's wife because he actually UND what he wanted with p's wife and he went to the source he identified the source mider in simple English it may mean sometimes if I don't have a father I search for relationships to fill the void Dr tski once told me Dr once told me he says Rabbi why why let me tell you something after 60 years of experience he told us to me in boka 60 years of experience has taught me that the addicts Among Us are the most spiritual Among Us and they couldn't numb their pain with rugal and jalapeno Haring and youri cougal like some of us so they went to alcohol to drugs they destroy themselves you know why because their void was deeper because their spirituality was deeper I I eat bka and I'm done I'm good I feel bored bka more bored another bka more board okay some schw that's why I look so good the anex Among Us Dr tski said doesn't work for them the kiddish Club doesn't work the Rak doesn't work even the cheesecake doesn't work imagine hard for me to imagine but yeah the spiritual Souls Among Us they actually need God they need God and if they don't have God they go to other extremes and every day they need more and more and more and more but really what they need is they need a father they need a mother ysf realized that said I don't need P's wife I need my father and I can have my father cuz he had a father he had a father he didn't have to go to her so what the mag is teaching us is instead of telling yourself how bad you are can you really identify how good you are but perhaps my wounds are searching to fill their void and therefore they have evolved to become toxic negative this is a much deeper way that's why the Tanya says you could transform your animal Soul you don't have to kill your animal Soul transform it how do you transform your animal Soul cuz when my animal Soul gets angry at my spouse or my children when I I get jealous when I get vengeful when I get hateful when I get resentful when I get muga when I get anxious instead of condemning myself and telling me why why you're evil can I accept the broken matzah and say wow what are you looking for what is this anger protecting you from what is this anger protecting you from I have to say I was very impressed with dick schwarz's no bad parts ifs because I started to read his model of healing and he has this word he says your core is in Exile and then you have a bunch of protectors and firefighters and it's like the whole Tanya says the soul is in Gus and then you have kipa what's kipa kipa is a protector so we look at a protector we say you're bad Al says you're not bad it's an animal trying to survive when you get angry at your spouse it's telling you something there's something happening there's pain can I ask what I am looking for the same is true when you have a crush the same is true when you're looking for when you're addicted to this website or that website the same is true when you're addicted to one thing you're looking for something very beautiful but all you have is the wife of potifa cuz she always makes herself available you know that that's her thing she has an unlimited credit card she's good ysf had the vision to say wa wa wait there's something much deeper here and then you sublimate and then there's the third teaching of the B and the balat that becomes oxygen for our generation and that is you weren't sent into this darkness and into this trauma by mistake God was with you all the time holding your hand because there's something that you have to bring out from that Darkness we're in yam so I want to conclude with a Jerusalem story I love this story it's so meaningful it tells us how much we don't know there was once a wedding and who was at the wedding the Al and they had a you know what a b is B is a joke like a gesture but who's going to make jokes in front of the alterb not an easy task so you know what he did he drank he drank a lot so he could open up so he turns to the alter rebba and he says Reb after a lot of thought I decided there's no difference between you and me between you and I why he says whatever I know you also know whatever okay whatever whatever I know you know whatever you don't know I also don't know so what's the difference there's a couple of things you know and I don't know but he says but how does that compare to what you don't know and alter started to cry how does what you know compared to that which you don't know which is infinite he started to cry that's what that was his B when he was Tipsy the humility that we don't know is so important why was this Soul sent down this Corridor of Darkness I don't know and when I say the words I don't know I choose them carefully because Esther was valedictorian of Bas Yakov you and benra she was also valedictorian of B b b RKA bre and andas and all the other seminaries and schools the were coming after her like there's no tomorrow Esther wasem dalem dalem the best family in Iran it was Jewish it was very Jewish then and then who took her at the end a drunker alcoholic Persian mug Monarch by the name of and M at some point says who knows if this is not the reason you went down that place you're going to save the Jewish people and he says M it's not something that I can understand or figure out with my cerebral brain there's some things Beyond D and that's why how do we celebrate the journeys of life you will not process through a cerebral mathematical process the journeys of life you Embrace with humility with faith with openness and with appreciation of the Infinity of life's Journeys and Mysteries so there's a Jew he's 94 years old or 95 years old today lives in and his name isaka Frank and he shared the story I heard him tell the story rabaka Frank was born in August 1929 his grandfather pesak Frank was the chief Rabbi of Jerusalem after R cook passed away in 1935 P Frank came the great great R of yush for many decades he was a great he was a brilliant scholar but his heart equaled and matched his mind he was a loving humble beautiful person Frank known as the very special man he lived not far from her PES Frank had a grandson who was born after Tish T pest 1929 his bris was the next chabas Frank had to be that chabas in k for a of his family but because his son had a baby his daughter-in-law had a baby and he would be the sand at the bris so he stayed back in Jerusalem that chabus was the kin Massacre 60 7 17th of of 18th of of 69 CH 69 Jews were axed to death by the Arab terrorists Frank and his wife were both saved because they stayed behind in Y for the bris of this boy who would be named yob Frank who lives in 94 years old 1929 24 of the Jews murdered were students of yesh kot came in the 1920s from Lithuania and built a Yeshiva in kot Yesa 24 of the Jews murdered were Yeshiva students young boys who were killed one of them a few of them were American one of them was an American Boy and in America in the 20s there were no yeshivas Tash would open a little later Yeshiva University would open then but there was no infrastructure of yeshivas and he was a brilliant young man and he wanted to learn so he asked his parents if he can go to Israel Palestine and they agreed and he went to learn in Kevin he was from Philadelphia and he did amazingly well in 192 29 things got very very chaotic here there were riots and the parents were worried for their son so they sent a telegram to the rashash Shiva excuse me and they asked if their son could come back they want him backa asked Frank to intervene and he said since you have connections with communities in America cuz everyone used to ask him questions in writing do you know the rabbi of that sh in Philadelphia Frank said yeah so he said could you write him a letter and tell him that in K everything is safe because one of the leaders of Kevin was rebelar Dan slonim he was on the Council of Kevin he was a banker he spoke Arabic he was very close with the Arabs so the Jews of Kevin felt protected and in fact when the pagum started they all went to his house he had a gun they Daven there and then somebody took away his gun and he was murdered his wife was murdered and all the Jews in his house were murdered during shakas but K is safe because rashash said said to lose this boy go back to America we're going to lose him and he's a buing diamond he's a buning leader charismatic and creative and wise and we need we need these types of leaders leaders Frank aced and he sent a message to the rabbi in Philadelphia please tell the parentsin is safe they shouldn't take their boy home and they listened and the boy stayed in kin and he was murdered and P Frank could not forgive himself he felt that literally he mixed in and he was indirectly guilty the parents were worried they wanted to bring this boy home he convinced them not to bring him home and the boy was murdered which means he felt he had blood on his hands it was indirectly obviously and it was non- deliberate but he felt ultimately why did he mix in when he did not know the situation and why did he give such advice and he could not forgive himself now he wouldn't talk a lot about it but his grandson Yakov whom because of his brises was saved with him he shared the story he said you know I was saved because of your bris and this boy I caused his murder and he could never ever forgive himself years passed raka Frank told the story it's 1960 that's 30 years the massacre was 29 so this is 31 years after the K and he's in miluim he goes to the IDF he's already 30 years old 31 years old and he's a reservist in the IDF 1960 and they're in training they're doing imim and one night it was a Wednesday night they were somewhere in a field doing training and it started to pour and they went into the trenches but the water was so powerful the downpour was so intense that the trenches filled up with water and they were there for hours soaking and in the trench that he went in there was another man also a Reser to went into the same Tren so now they're both soaked the floods are coming down they're rened to the core of their bones they're freezing but they're there in middle of the night in some place so you start talking to each other Shalom Alim what's your name's your name yako Frank yako Frank grandson of you know Jewish geography the great cabalist Jackie Mason he's the guy who repeated my jokes so Jackie Mason once said if two Jews meet and within 3 minutes they don't establish a family connection one of them is not Jewish so he says uh yob Frank yeah you're the grandson ofes Frank he says yeah so he says to him wow how is your grandfather doing he's great and they're talking what do you do he says I'm a historian of the I'm a historian of the yes in Israel before the state was established in 48 so he starts talking about the and how he saved his grandfather because he was a Sonic at his bris and then he tells him you know my grandfather is still brokenhearted because of that slot boy who was murdered so this historian looks at him they're into trenches and he says do you know the end of the story he says what end of the story The Boy was dead the boy was killed what's the end of the story he says you know there's another part of the story he says I never knew so he says well this father the father of the boy who was slain was a big m in Philadelphia he was a diplomat and he was very close to many politicians in the state department and he made a Ruckus he went to the state department and he says it's the British who are guilty because how did they stop the K pagam the British came and they shot and the riers left because the riers didn't have live ammunition they used knives they used they used hatchets they used axes and when the British started to shoot they all ran away why couldn't the British shoot early shabas morning why couldn't they shoot Friday night they let it happen they were accomplices to the murder of these Jews and he made such a commotion in the state department they put pressure on the British and they replaced the commander of the British presence the British mandate the one in charge and they sent a military man by the name of Arthur wof he was sent by the British to replace the leader of the British the British Authority mandate here in Palestine Arthur wov and the man says to yakob Frank Arthur W started to travel the land thank you and when he started to when he started to travel the land he fell in love with Israel he fell in love with it and he liked he liked the Jewish people and he came here in 1931 and his tenure continued to 1937 and during his tenure he opened up the gates and he allowed anyone who wanted to immigrate to Israel and because of that close to 400,000 Jews could come here in fact because of him he says when Hitler Rose to power in Germany 1933 many German Jews and Austrian Jews could come here and many other Jews from Eastern Europe made alyah because he opened the doors and not only that he quadrupled the ability of Jews to own territory to own assets to own ground and Earth and Israel almost five times the amount and they almost quadrupled the number of Jews living in Israel when he came here there were around 150,000 Jews and then when he was done in 1937 he was gone officially because of an illness say he was fired whatever it is the number was much much higher and he looks at yakob Frank he says I just want you to realize one thing in 1948 during the independence War there were 600,000 Jews here 1% of them were killed 6,000 Jews were killed in the war of independence but if not for Arthur wov there wouldn't have been 600,000 Jews there would have been much more much much less and there was no way naturally they could win any War so just realize that despite the horrible horrible tragedy that story caused Arthur wov to come to Israel and because of that today today they can build the country of Israel and 200,000 Jews were saved from aitz because they could come here during those years so we don't know why that boy was killed but we should just realize that the whole Israel and hundreds of thousands of Jews owe their life to that boy because of what happened yakob Frank was stunned it's 1960 he said my grandfather never heard the end of the story nobody ever told this to him nobody knew it I have to tell this to him he says go ahead at that point it was 3: in the morning and the commander said listen this training is not going anywhere cuz this rain is not stopping you can all go home you have an early go home and they're drenched they say they go home he comes home he was exhausted he was tired he tells his wife yob tells his wife they had a baby he tells his wife I'm going right away to Sabah toes Frank she says you go visit him every shabas every shabas after daving walked an hour and a half to go visit his grandfather he says no I have to go now said why do you have to go I have to tell him something she says go he comes Thursday to his grandfather shees Frank reads him and says I thought you were in sahal what happened so he tells him the story they were soaked and the commander said they can go home and I wanted to come here he says why do you have to come here you're coming shabas anyway he said I have to tell you something he says what do you want to tell me before you tell me first a cup of tea he puts up the kettle he gives himself and his grandson a cup of tea he says yov to and he tells his Grand his grandfather the whole story of what he just heard in the trenches about the consequences of the death of that boy and how it changed history in Israel she pesak listens and he says wow I never knew this literally you just took a stone that was on my chest for 31 years and you removed it and he said you know I'll never forgive myself for what I did but I realized that there's things I just don't know and stories have continuations in ways that people don't know and he thanks him and he walks up to the door and he says I want to tell you something you didn't have to bother and leave your wife and child when you're anyway coming for shabas you didn't have to but I will never be able to thank you enough for the fact that you rushed right over here and you told the rest of the story and he escorted him out he gave him a kiss and he said Shalom and he left shabas morning this was his custom every shabas morning yakob Frank finished daving then he walked an hour and a half to go to visit his sabba and say shabbat shalom on the way he passed his brother-in-law's house his brother-in-law comes out and says you don't have to go he says why not he says Sabah passed away shabas 8:00 in the morning it was shabas told us December 1960 PES Frank passed away suddenly at the age of 87 this week is his yard site and he just passed away two hours ago there's nowhere to go yak Frank was stunned the next day was the fun Ms shabas was the funeral 1977 there's a m there's a revolution in the Israeli government for the first time it goes from the left to the right and bean becomes the prime minister of Israel some of you may even remember it till then Israel belonged to the left man Bean who was always in the opposition became the prime minister of Israel who did he hire and his one of his people was yakob Frank and he was in charge of helping build the territories in Yehuda and Shaman Bean sent them to the United States of America to do some work on this behalf of the Jews living in those areas and building up theim and in the process he told them to go visit the laab so in 1977 Yakov Frank came to visit the laab in Brooklyn he went in he introduced himself the Reb asked him of course the Jewish question are you related to PES Frank and he said I'm his grandfather and he said the Reb looked at him and said Al tell me stories about your grandfather so he told the about his grandfather and the Reb says tell me another story told him another story kept on asking him for more stories and finally he said and tell me one more story so he decided to tell this story and he told this story The Rebel listened and when he finished the rebba looked at him and he said I want to tell you something I always tell my students and I always tell anybody who listens to me that when you have an opportunity to do something good don't delay it because any way you look at it it doesn't make sense to delay it if it's something that's not worth doing then you shouldn't do it even in six months and if it's something that's worthwhile doing then do it today don't do it tomorrow don't do it in two hours do it now and do it today and he says look if you would have waited for shabas to tell your grandfather this story you would have never forgiven yourself you would have never forgiven yourself and your grandfather would go to the next World with this heaviness because you had the conviction to go now and go right now so look what happened your grandfather died that chabas morning a day later with a sense of peace and you had that sense of Peace how grateful you are to yourself for doing that he said look at this lesson when there's something good to do do it now as ROV shared the story I thought to myself here you see the words of who understands people's Journeys who understands we Souls have to end up when you look at yourself or you look at different Souls especially the souls of your loved ones and you see that they're G Journeys sometimes very complicated ones and very difficult ones and very painful ones it's very easy to go into a place of guilt and shame and self-loathing and negativity and toxicity and blame this one and blame that one but we really have to have the humility and the awareness that we don't know we don't know and understand Journeys we don't know Mysteries what we do know is every soul has its Mission it and if I can Embrace that and realize that the places I ended up in and the places I went to and even the mistakes I made and things that happened to me were not random they weren't just tragic tragic stories that created so many complications but rather like ysf they were opportunities for unbelievable growth even if it came with pain because there's something that happened as a result there's something you took out from that experience there's something you have because of that that the world needs there is a light that God wanted you to retrieve from the darkness and it's why he took you down that path and the world needs that light today this then is what the B and the balat taught never see yourself only as a victim because remember these three things number one the soul could never be damaged ever it's as infinite and as bright as eternity itself number two even the challenges and negativity I'm dealing with are husks their shells their protectors like ysf be curious and you will see that your crushes your addictions your anger your garbage your compleated stuff not only should you not be ashamed of them but with tenderness and compassion ask them what they need ask them what they're looking for so you can heal your animal Consciousness so you can heal your reptilian brain so you could bring God into all the parts of yourself so you could bring Oneness into all the parts of yourself so you could bring in Consciousness into all the parts of yourself and number three remember that even in those moments of Darkness you were never alone God was with you holding your hand and like ysf remember that in life sometimes you feel like you were were buried and you have good proof for it people have been throwing lots of sand and Earth over you and ysep was the first one who knew what it felt like cuz he was thrown into a pit not once but twice once by his brothers and the other one the other time by pfa's wife what was his secret his secret is he realized he was not buried he was planted when you plant a seed technically you bury it but you're not burying it it's planted and suddenly a few years later the problem is in order for seeds to Blossom you need water Joseph's pit didn't have water but it had a different type of water the Torah says Jacob didn't stop crying his father's tears the tears that represented the fact that I believe in this boy and I don't believe he's dead and I will not stop thinking about him cuz he's not dead He's Alive those tears irrigated the sistern the pit where Joseph was buried so that he could be planted in fact it says so clearly in who was planted with tears you know anybody that was planted with tears yes y man who was carrying the sheaves who dreamed about the Sheep bowing down to him ultimately became the man who gave those sheaves to the whole world and sustain them in the famine and sustained his own family where did these sheep grow from they grew from the tears of a father who would not stop believing in his child of a father who would not become disconnected from his child of a father who always knew the power of His Child and believed believed in his child so that the child could believe in himself those tears with Joseph's confidence that God was with him allowed him to transform burial into Plantation and the pit became a Wells Spring of growth of awareness that transformed civilization the word YF means growth and hence it's why the teachings of the B and the AL which highlight these ideas again and again and again can oxygenate a generation and allow people to switch on the light in yourself that not only represses Darkness but sublimates and transforms Darkness as a preparation for the complete Oneness a Oneness that means we can show up to life and relationships and yish with our Full Hearts and our full souls and our full passion as the Oneness is revealed in the world by yuya thank you thank you thank [Applause] you this class is brought to you by the yeshiva.net please help us continue the classes make even a small contribution at ww.the usa.net donate