TheYeshiva.net - Likkutei Torah - "Bittul" - An Abused Term

you know the story about this young B who had reached the age of shim and naturally theim were were gathering around and trying to snatch up this incredible B for the girl of their choice and um many proposals were made to this young man and he seemed to reject them all some he wouldn't meet some were rejected after one meeting or two meetings and he gave all kinds of reasons this one wasn't smart enough this one wasn't pretty enough this one wasn't sophisticated enough because he saw himself as being extraordinary and gifted and developed in so many ways that he needed a wife who was worthy of him and it reached a point where there was simply no more perspective callus there no girls so uh there was a meeting between the relevant parties the the the and the boys rash and parents and it was decided that this boy needs a lesson in humility so they proposed to this B that he go off to a special school a special Yesa which teaches an NOA how to be humble the understanding was if the boy will s to speak get off his horse maybe there would be a possibility that he'd find favor with some girl so he went off to the shivas NOA and after 6 months or a year or a year and a half he um he passed the course with honors he graduated with Straight A's he was now humble and he came back to his original yes he sat down in the B and again the gathered around him like vultures and they made proposals and he was a bit surprised by the proposals being offer he says I don't understand this girl I met and this girl you told me about and this girl two of you told me about we already rejected those I said yeah that was a year ago or two years ago but now that you're humble we are hoping that you will reconsider those possibilities so he looks at the I don't understand he says if a year ago when I was only and and whatnot none of these girls were worthy to marry me now on top of all those milus I'm humble too they're certainly unqualified to marry me the story would be funny if it didn't have any reality but it does it does now of course it goes without saying that somebody whose humility is seen as another stripe or another star isn't humble at all he's a performer he's he's been taught how to go through the motions of humility humility is not a behavior humility humility is a mindset and clearly this is not a humble person they they they tell the story about yite sitting in a CO who during s mus which they having many yeshivas would go into the library to the other room they'd face the wall and they would say repeatedly in a monotone which means English I'm nothing I'm nothing this was a a form of a you know there have been many many different movements within Jewish Theology and ethics and this was one of them to be little self and this was their pre meditation as it were that they would invoke they would repeatedly say I am nothing Well One Fine Day a young boy joined the Yeshiva he was all 14 years old fresh out of elementary school and he comes into the Yeshiva and everything is so structured and orderly and predetermined until he comes to S the last half hour before and now it seems to him to be a free for- all anybody can learn whatever they wish and he asked his friends what to say mus me well you can do anything you can learn you can learn there all different types of from from more philosophical more severe choose so he wandered around the B trying to find the PATH and he made his way into the library and behold he encountered two kite who had been in thisa for maybe 15 years who were saying repeatedly this incantation I am nothing I am nothing and for some reason this this possibility this option appealed to him so he aligned himself next to he to T light and he he shifted into gear to Shuckle exactly as they were shuckling and to figure out the tone and he join them in this incantation in this Mantra I am nothing I am nothing I am nothing and after a while it get quiet and the two young lightting K cease to chant and he if he's nothing he doesn't even notice that someone has stopped speaking and he continues doing his chant and he hears one k man say to the other col say listen we've been doing this for 15 years and this 14-year-old thinks he's nothing humility and ble are very very much a part of the foundation ofas but there real they're deep they're serious and there's a presumption that are real and deep and serious and unfortunately when they are employed inappropriately when they are misunderstood when they are made into a ritual or perhaps one of the most ugly forms of this is when B and an NOA means to tell the other person about B and you know how do I practice humility by putting everybody else down like that well-known little episode with the marash the fourth he uh witnessed his two sons playing they played all the time the problem was that the older son was shorter than his younger brother the younger brother was destined to be the older son was in his own right a great God and go his name wasin he was two years older than his younger brother and he was simply shorter than him so they were playing some kind of a game where the older brother was the re and the younger brother was the so the older brother had them walk on a hill so that his younger brother was lower than him so that he'd be taller than him andash looks out the window and he sees the two boys playing and how that the older brother is positioning himself so that his younger brother is lower than him so that he appears taller and he called him he called him he summoned the older brother his older son of Z and he says to him he called him into his office and he told him to get up on a chair so he got up on the chair oh now you're taller and he explained you don't become Greater by putting other people down and that that that's that's it's common sense it's basic but it's it can be an important lesson that sometimes needs to be learned and taught and inspired there are so many stories about humility and what we call in our culture bit the breaking of the ego or the Transcendence of ego or the getting past one's ego in the tradition of both in particular as a whole and I want to share a few of those with you now before we actually get to the class into the MIM one of the greatest of the AL one of the greatest who was very very loved by the Al Al is the balat the founder of thead movement he the world calls him the he favored this particular he saw him as very unique very special and he had a very very unusual relationship with him his name was theas shik shik was his family name he came from the city of who was also called the and his mother-in-law's name was Rose because she made him into she was very very wealthy and she promised her sons-in-law that if any of them would visit in Le the founder of she would give them a lot of money so he figured it was worth the try he can profit a little bit and um he became one of the great his father was the was an incredible G and incredible he was a big misnet he was very opposed Tois but he never sat Shiva for his son when he became a he wasn't into that angry you know violent hateful streak that existed among sag he he was AAG but he understood that are from and was very wealthy as I just described and he built himself what we would call today a mansion in those days is the sign of status and wealth was what they called a it meant an estate a home which encompassed a lot of land that was in a u- shape that had building on three sides and a gigantic front lawn and garden and area of recreation at work and U this was a sign of stature if you were wealthy you had the as it was called um sort of a walled in property unfortunately was childless and he built himself this huge B this huge this huge dwelling as an aside his the AL asked him once why do you need such a large home you have no children and in general since when are people supposed to waste you know precious wealth on materialism so he the following he said he was uncomfortable saying I to his re so he spoke cryptically and he said in yish as in English this means to say if he meant to say has very large house and the community leaders of gather they gather in his house and if they gather in his house he can influence the direction of the community this was what he explained to his rebba why he needed this kind of an estate there was another who was an incredibly impoverished a very great and quite famous at that he was a contemporary of they were the same age approximately maybe a bit younger and he visited schav so he came to schav and he went to look up his friend and he comes to this beautiful house his gigantic home with so many rooms and was used to a shack and uh he walks into the house and says to's wife the's wife the Bala is p your home your husband in the house she says no he's away so he doesn't think too much he walks right into the house with his bigil his muddy muddy boots and the home is decorated with the finest carpets the finest rugs he's just making a mess he struts through the whole house goes straight upstairs and marches into the Pinas raises bedroom and lays down in his bed with his boots on and he covers himself with his blanket and goes to sleep sleep soundly comes home and there's a trail he doesn't no one has to explain to him he can follow the trail of mud so he wakes up his friend and says I'm happy he came to see me but you didn't need to leave a mark all the way to my bedroom so materialism matters to you these kinds of things are of concern to you I want nothing to do with you when he jumps out of bed and storms out of house and was a practical joker but his jokes always had much greater substance and depth and he was trying to make a point and comes after his friend these were two Yen who were serious Servants of God incredibly great but these were people who really served God they they thought about connecting to and being pure and transparent in theirselves so there'd be room for the these are serious and when runs out of RA his home it hurt and he chases him and says I don't know what I did but for materialism matters I want nothing to do with he that's I promise you it doesn't matter to me it's just there's no need to waste and to ruin unnecessarily and P says that means it matters to you and I want no part of you anyway a whole negotiation started as a subsequent as a as a consequence of this and the end was says to his friend I'll make a deal with you is if you take a broom put it between the legs like a like a witch you know and hop through all the streets inov I I'll I'll forgive you I'll visit your home the was the son of the he was a bigor was a very respected businessman and to make you know to act like it was put him in the Summer Afternoon was very very very dis you know dishonoring it was not appropriate but it mattered so much to the that should visit him and come to his home that he actually did it to he stred through with the broom between his legs you know demonstrating what you would call In some cultures bites there's a story with and his own father this same with his own father was a very big God-fearing man this is a golden age this is not today this is 25050 or whatever it was 40 or 30 years ago it was a golden age of T really really L until Napoleon which was the beginning of the 19th century 1812 it was a golden age of T there was so much to it's it's Indescribable and the P was a g in that era and he couldn't understand what there was toas that one didn't have with without it he couldn't understand why there was a need for a new movement and a new who came along and made a revolution people are flacking to him he didn't see what it was about kidas that justified its own self Identity or distinct identity whatever is going to say is already been said and there's no need for this kind of thing and he was in constant he was constantly debating with his son the p and during one of these debates he says anything you can learn exist in any value any Endeavor of self-refinement and purification exists in the books that predate kasas and if you can't find it in the more philosophical you can certainly find it in the more mystical calistic says no no you need so says well give me an example so the son says to the father my example is humility that only in can you be truly humble says there's so much onov in in all kinds of works of of ethics and values both non-mystical as well as mystical works you don't need to learn say his father okay let's let's make an experiment dedicated a period of time to studying and implementing this Mida this this me of being humble and at the end of the Endeavor he told his son I feel like I have refined myself not just read texts but Incorporated those ideas into my heart into my life I feel like I know what being humble means the following Friday called aside his father's Shamus and he says to him my father every week goes to the medit goes to the Mikvah goes to the bath house and you of course carry his laundry and his his soap this week tell him listen I've been carrying your shatas for 25 years today you carry mine and somehow he managed to convince the shamas that he he would he wouldn't get fired he should try it so certain enough when came out of his of his study to go to the med out of chabas to go to the bath house to the Mikvah before chabas to wash and so forth he offers his bag of laundries and soaps to his Shamus to his assistant he says 25 years I've been serving you this Friday you serve me of course understood immediately that this was his son's initiative so he took his shamus's bag and now the Shamus is string through the streets of SCH like a proud peacock and is slepping behind him it certainly was not becoming they went to the mer and he did his duty dutifully completely he helped him with his boots and those that didn't even have socks that Volus you know Volus meant a long strip of clothes that you would wrap around the legs there was a whole science how you would put on socks and he helped them with the shitz I mean I don't have to go into the details but it it was a most humiliating experience andik served his servant that Friday afternoon like a loyal dedicated experience tras and when he came home from the me he summoned his son that P and he says look I I passed the test I was humiliated in the most extreme ways but I I I was h enough to do what I needed to do so the says to his father father answer one question for me what were you thinking as you were experiencing this this humility he said what was I thinking I thinking I was so embarrassed and I was so angry it's a miracle I didn't have a weapon I was so infuriated with my Shamus for embarrassing me like this said a says to his father had you been a you wouldn't have felt any shame any indignity any anger it's a it's it's an incredible story it's it's a powerful powerful story because it we know and we're not we're tiny little people to start with how it feels to be embarrassed especially embarrassed by somebody such a low station somebody who's not your world at all and not only to swallow the the the indignities the shame but to consider it of no consequence this is this is a serious we call in our culture this only happens if a person has seriously seriously uh refined themselves and I'll tell you a couple of cut just just for good measure as it were you you've heard of the holy of he was a was a very bigad I've been told that in some places he's referred to as mikut which is a very high level people of his generation normally don't get that denotation and aotk had a following and the obsession of of Kut was midis everything has to be honest and from the little bit that I've heard and read about Kut I would say this to you that the ordinary human being who would show up in Kut and want to join that group would have a nervous breakdown within 72 hours the stress the pressure the the lack of of of formality and uh form would have been just too painful to bear in other words when you came you were coming into a world where everybody always said the absolute truth and to to hear the absolute truth about yourself you either better be in pretty good shape or have really really thick skin and people who came to ksk were no ordinary Souls they were in their own right going and in some cases many cases big sikim one of the great episodes of the's unique reip was the arrival of was the grandson of the great was a and he was a and AES the that no one knows his greatness because there's simply nobody to measure him against in his time was an incredible and he was was he was second he met in Germany when he visited there in 1825 and he writes such extraordinary things about how humble he is and how SC is and how Pious he is was such a big that he actually sat sh when his son became and there's many stories that are told about's experience in K he arrives and um there's able comes to theable doesn't look exactly very orderly there's a group of Yung light sitting in the basement having a they're reading saying singing as soon as he walks in and he was all beded he looked ronish he looked dignified and like a rabbi so someone plucked his hat off his head he was wearing a SCH a beautiful fur hat and flipped it across the room like a Frisbee and announced to the receiver at the other end of the room sell it and get some money for some bramin to buy a little V it was very uncomfortable but knew what he came to C for and this is what he wanted he wanted this m and he was a big enough person to be able to withstand it there's a where the father sent a representative to meet his son and to try to talk to him and he comes to kotk and he looks around and he asks he's looking for the the son of the the son of the so someone says Ah Lael there was there was no formality at all there was no external respect but there was an obsession for truth now and we can talk on and on you know we there's so much to say he he was very disappointed that they were wasting time and sitting around and he he complained to them what are they doing and wasting their time and he was introduced to the motar and he asked them questions and so forth how do these stories sound to you many a person will tell me that I shouldn't share such stories on the internet how do these stories sound to you they don't sound Pleasant they don't they don't sound right they sound wrong they sound not holy they don't sound like kidas they sound vicious they sound mean they sound self-serving they sound condescending in a word they sound like mid now now what's the truth of the matter the truth of the matter is that there is something called relativity relativity relativism no question about it that if you would W up to a stranger today and insult him in the street in the name of bites you wouldn't be Aid you'd be a bully and I if you don't mind me saying it if you did it a 100 years ago you would also be a bully in certain environments when people are elevated they're they're learned and they're Pious and they're in tune and they Endeavor to grow to a higher level what someplace else will seem disrespectful dishonoring undignified wrong is right it's right in context in that world that was appropriate that was love it was kindness it was it was Justice it was fairness and if you are familiar with culture of the various different types and particularly kabad and you understand or you have been exposed to the bit Center that they have you know it's not about you you know we're all nothing you may have experienced an unpleasantness you may have said like this is this is just rude this is not religion this is rudess this is and you know what in many cases you would be right you would be right because when these kinds of things are abused when they're used incorrectly it is ugly it is mid because B being humble is actually an extraordinarily high level it's not simple you don't become humble because you put your face against the wall at 14 and say I'm nothing that's just not the way it happens it's a lifetime it's a lifetime of effort and introspection and work on self that brings a person to an elevated State and in an elevated State you're closer to God and then your closest to God that closeness humbles and that humility expresses itself in being less sensitive that humility expresses itself in not feeling removed from other people you know you could be a big you could be a great you could be a very big and you can sit with a simple person and feel sh B that that's a high level it's it's an incredible achievement it's not an act it's not a performance it's not a show it's a state of spiritual being that has achieved through much much hard work so it's important for me to before we get to the m which is all about humility and joy to establish this at the outset that like everything else life is a journey our relationship with God Almighty is a journey our relationship with God Almighty as it's inspired by the teachings of is also a journey and there's an order and you can't just jump into the deep water when you don't know how to swim and how to tread water you just can't do it there's an order and the unfortunate fact is that since the Holocaust there's such a vacuum of you know kids grow up and they you know the the tradition of the Masia and the that was in the golden days it it's very hard to come by you don't find a lot of people who are living examples of these kinds of Ava and you don't you certainly don't find a lot of people who are truly living examples of this kind of Ava who know how to share it who know how to imparted the previous previous talks about in his days 80 years ago he talked about what used to be the old and he says the old had with would make great spiritual sacrifices to help young learn whatas is about not just the books and the ideas but the life and the humility and the and the the lack of preoccupation with self which is so they had to step out of their own place to share and the young had to have great my neish great dedication to take it in and to learn what it means you know it's not fast food you don't learn about a concept and decide you want to be it you learn about a concept and then you say Where am I and often times the answer is wait wait not a day or a week but a decade or two decades or three decades and so forth and it's important for me to share with you a m which I've talked about on a number of occasions in the past and we may have even learned it I just don't remember at the moment where the whose we're learning here in talks about the thats to a scholar must have a little bit of a little bit of ego it's a long mind it's very involved but one of the things the AL says which is most common sensical is that no person begins their pursuit of t with humility no person begins their learning for the sake of God it's impossible everybody must begin their with their ego everybody must begin their learning because they want to because it's it's rewarding to them what about what about B and what about it's only for God it's true those are ideal truths but you cannot start off at step 100 you have to start off at step one step one means when a boy is a teenager struggling to understand the p piece of T the biggest Mitzvah he can do is raise his ego and encourage him and be proud of him and teach him how to be proud of himself what about he'll have 80 years to worry about B first be a yes then you'll have this is this is a real truth that unfortunately by so many is missed and and I feel that it it confuses B it it it doesn't allow them to healthily grow up I was told the story I'm not going to say any name but the were two very big from slightly different backgrounds living in the same place and one of these two individuals was sitting with a group of yes and he was giving them the regular lecture on you know we're all nothing and nobody and garbage and no good and so the other who was older than him into jacket and says listen I was in laich I was in laich the holy of holies and I want you to know that in laish they didn't put B the B were built up they were told that they're good and that they're excellent and as they achieved they aspired they were complimented it was only the older who were involved in who we would call that the the remedy or the medicine of bites was applied to in other words when a person grows up there's an order to things humility doesn't mean a shattered ego it means the Transcendence of an ego and it has to be in that order and when you understand that you go back to the stories about the or about the and his father and the stories make sense these stories are reasonable in the context in which those stories occurred in short humility Andes which are fundamental ideas inas are not easy ideas ofas they're very lofty ideas ofas and what we'll discover as we learn this m is that not only lofty ideas and high level of cus but they really ultimately are very natural in other words humility is a very peaceful State it's not a shattered State and if humility is a shattered State then it's this wrong it's not the right way humility is graduating to be being at peace with yourself not resigning of self and um I Was preparing this MIM this afternoon and I of course I was thinking about it and and one of the things that crossed my mind as I the mind is what we're learning is that ultimately being a y is not a sacrifice at all it's the most wonderful life it's it's a life that that makes great demands and from a perspective of materialism and ego and and uh superficiality and um you know immediate gratification and fame makes a lot of sacrifices and demands but in the end a Aid Who's involved in yish not just on the outside but on the inside is the richest person in the world I mean truly the richest person in the world and the humility is is really an incredible level of Peace not sacrifice and shattering of self and there so many reasons why this humility is so important um I'm just going to share two more Thoughts with you and uh then I I think I've been going on for 35 minutes here we're supposed to learn a I'll get to the mind in a moment I just want to share two thoughts from a psychological perspective humility is is the ability to be yourself it's the ability to identify who you are and to be it without any regard for anybody else in other words humility is the ability to not compete it's the ability to not measure Yourself by an external measure by a societal measure by a material measure by a measure that somebody else has prepared but by yourself and that it's very emancipating not easy but very emancipating and from a spiritual perspective humility is a window to God it's it's a window to God when we get ourselves out of the way there's there's space for the abish it's as simple as that what I think is important for all of us to understand is how profound it is and how subtle it is and how much of a journey it is and the beginning of the journey is being a mench and being a mench means I'm sorry for lecturing you watching your time and watching your health and you know watching your eating and all the rest of the simple things and and then using the the skills the possibilities gave the best your ability to develop your understanding of to to develop a feel for to learn how to D and how to do and to do that almost untalked about idea of just learning how to be a better person how to be a Kinder person a more forgiving person these are all preliminary steps these all come before you know exalted ideas like the humility which are is here is is going to be addressing so uh I think we can say that I've given you a comprehensive introduction so let's go um I'm reading line one it's a short little M it's a wonderful little M and I must say that I'm quite familiar with the m because this the ideas of this m are ideas that the so often discussed in the um discussed in his talks when he talked about the lessons of and to Children even and so forth so here we go what is the significance the meaning of the fact that the T was given on Mount Si as opposed to other mountains which were much taller and much broader and much more massive and so forth like it says in the the mountains competed the TA should be given on them and the various mountains competed one said I'm the tallest one said I'm the widest one said I'm the most massive and Hashem chose har and of course the irony of it is har was chosen because it's the smallest of all the mountains but at the same time it's a mountain says the says this is just an aside on you have and then you have the older on the there's no there only and T is quite different than tagas because Ben doesn't translate the words linearly he often gives whole commentary and says profound insights into the and here's a case in point that the is saying I have no will to give the T on mountains give that are arrogant means that are Hoy that are substanceless blown up so to speak without any depth and he brings the the T brings what you have inal that hasem says I'm not going to give the T on the massive Mountain which represents symbolizes means egocentricity pompousness arrogance instead instead I'm going to give it on Mount which is a small little Mount translates the the aloofness the hoiness the various mountains that suggested to God Almighty that he give the mountain on them this is an idea of greatness which is disingenuous which is false which is wrong that they've raised themselves with an arrogance and arrogance and hoiness and pompousness who shadish the source of all evil as we know from cab that the source of the shattering of the first world of of G was their lack of humility the lack of compatibility with another SP so it shattered in other words ego is is is is ugly it's not good sometimes egocentric people package themselves well they they wrap nicely so you don't see the egocentricity but every once in a while it makes it an ugly appearance and it really is it's disgusting you know the story The Who was a second had a who was a who was asked to read the m in the presence of the m so he was reading the M everybody knows the story and of course in the middle of the story you have this moment where comes into and what do you think I should do to someone that I need to honor so the says thinks to himself to whom can the king possibly wish to honor many other than myself this read this passage and he shouted right in the middle of G like ugly when a person's ego shows itself in its shamelessness it is so shameful it is so undecorated ugly it's it's a mid and it's a source of all evil because the first thing that ego does is it draws lines between people it separates people from people and that brings to jealousy and competition and even to violence I don't have to tell you it's not a good Med and the cor is that man person be humble and acting arrogant is is is compromising the purity of what the is has discuss so often in in the writings of the AL the author of this m skip the small typ says if a person makes himself as a desert all trample upon it then they're going to be to the then they'll Merit to have this is brought in that the was given in a desert and there are various reasons why one of them is because the desert has no owner and the TA has no owner anybody can have it the doesn't have an owner anybody who wants it can have it Additionally the desert chose on this humility interpret that one who does not have arrogance is given to him as a gift there's space for the in this person like we say in in the end of my soul should be like dust in my relationships with my fellow then and only then open up my heart for your the idea of course is that humility is the prerequisite to therefore the title was given on M because it's the lowest of all the mountains which is the idea of humility it doesn't raise itself it's not full of itself it's not preoccupied with itself which represents the theme of humility which is necessary in the learning of T now I I want to repeat repat myself and I'm sorry for doing it but I'm not sorry for doing it because if I was sorry I wouldn't do it this doesn't mean you have to come to a four-year-old and talk to about bites being humble you have to come to a four-year-old talk about being nice you have to come to a four-year-old talking about learning to and developing his mind and feeling good about it and not only a four-year-old but a 14-year-old and maybe even a 24 year old this isn't untrue it's just level two or level three or four it's not level one level one is you have to create a person and teach him humility and if I I I want to give it to in other words and this is true of so many of the core teachings ofas these mid have to be chosen nobody can Advocate nobody should tell you be humble hey you're a be humble instead the person says I am a it I want to come closer to Hashem and in coming closer to Hashem I have to refine myself and part of that is as they say In some cultures getting over myself stop being so preoccupied with myself it's a choice it's an effort that a person takes on it's not super imposed someone else doesn't sit on your head and teach you humility just like someone else cannot sit in your head and teach you cabala discipline discipline which is very hard to not give in to weakness is very very difficult it's it's easy to lecture on cabal it's it's it's about me I have to choose the discipline of Cal I have to choose the humility and the forgetting about me that is at the core of the humility of a Jew and a that opens me up not to the elementary level of T but to the higher levels of t or the highest levels of T which are connected to humility but there's a qualifying factor and I'm online ten the question is alternatively if as the here proposes that you want to get the T on a tiny little mountain because it's representative of humility as opposed to one a large massive Mountain why give T and the mountain alt together is after all a mountain it represents an aloofness aof simply that it's not as tall as massive as the other the mountains it almost seems inconsistent if the to represents humility give it in a pit give it on on the plains give it in a valley give it in the Grand Canyon the lowest point on Earth why give it on a mountain and a low Mount and of course the answer is because there's a balance and we must understand that this balance is true even in the big even the person of whom humility is a is a real space there needs to be this balance on line 12 the answer is as follows to be sure it is true that every person must be extraordinarily humble still at the same time a person needs to have strength will and this strength and will comes along with a certain sense of confidence of self assuredness now to many people it seems inconsistent with humility but it's not it's not for various reasons but if you have only humility you are what they call a scoop a doormat and if you're a doormat you will be trampled upon find the that does a concept of serving hem with pride and dignity and self-respect the author of this a very biget and he was quite well to do and he lived in Petersburg lived in a big city and to be a in the big city was almost impossible and the Al hisb said of him that he's on the level of B highest level and so forth and when he was asked how he maintains that station he would say all I do is I remain arrogant I am a of the AL how can I possibly slip into this kind of misdeed Al himself testified about the that his service of God is with a G now how could serving hasem be with G the answer is because the G is the act the guy is the energy it's not the person the person is humble but there's a strong will uh character that that that that runs the person's engine that empowers the person if a person finds himself in a position where they have no sense of self and character and strength he will never have the courage to begin to serve hem he'll be sheepish he'll be a he'll say to himself who am I and what is my service worth you need a balance between G and Anova and it's not really a balance or a blend it's a genuine humbleness and humbleness means to forget about yourself to get past yourself and a strong will determination a strength a conviction one must have an elevated heart with a thirst with a and a thirst so that the person is motivated it is only the humility protes predominates so there's got to be a balance humility and arrogance now let's discuss this just a bit I've told you the story a few times already I'm sure that the um I'll save time so I won't go into all the details within the details but the short ver version of the story is that young man named said to another young man named was the AL the author of the father watch I want to show you something cute it was and he goes over to the gab and he says to the gab that for the following he should call the humblest man in humblest man in so of course the Gabi was not in the mood of practical jokes but however convinced him the Gabi banged on the B men said we're holding the fourth AA the first the fourth a has been given to the humblest man in town and they came running from every direction five six people the next morning they met one of these elderly fellows and says to this elderly man you're the third humblest man in town he says I'm the third humblest man in town I am the most humble I'm supremely humble he says yeah but you arrived at the sa first he says yeah because I got bad legs the other guys are kpics that's not humility I don't have to tell you that that that's an act it's a performance it's the antithesis of humility it's using thetick the of humility to enhance one's GES like the boy who couldn't find the because now he's humble too how do you measure it it's very difficult to measure and you know what it doesn't really matter because the only thing that really matters certainly on these levels is one person measuring himself against himself this is not a popularity contest there's no you know humility gauge I think one of the simplest ways to determine the genuiness of one's humility or the disingenuine of one's humility is simply this are you in are you filic or phobic is your presence pushing away others or is your presence inviting others if your presence is pushing away others you're not humble if your presence invites others into your space that that humility you know when one of the mym that was said when our married the previous tells a little story that came to the third he says says wherever I walk people are trampling all over me so whatever says if you'll stop spreading yourself around all over people will not have to trample on you to get from one place to the next that's not humility it's it's it's humility is a sense of getting past self and the sense from getting past self comes from a connection to something bigger just think about competition why do we compete and do we like competition why do we compete we compete because somehow we feel that in our competing and our winning we're something and somebody you know there is competition which is considered a good thing but people frequently are not competing over TAA and certainly not competing over T in a TA way people people compete because they Define themselves by others could you imagine not needing to compete could you imagine not needing to win an argument can you imagine not needing to respond to every word thought and insult that's sent in your direction it's not only a greatness it's a peace it's a Harmony you know as we get older we get wiser as we get wiser we start appreciating that it's not about things it's not about notoriety it's not about honor it's not it's about life life ultimately is just living and just living means not needing anybody's approval just do what you need to do that's what humility truly is but along with the humility you need a will a will that drives a person forward that balances out the humility and the M's message is that the title was given on a mountain but a little one you need to have that will that urge that drive but it's got to be tempered by by in ability to not be preoccupied with self I want to share something very in interesting with you there was a volume of letters published about a year and a half ago possibly two years ago it's letters of the previous Reb the previous Reb letters I think it's Volume 15 or 16 it's an unusual volume because the entire volume is correspondence between the previous and our the current and his wife because they were away from the previous Deb for so long in Berlin and then in Paris so there was a lot of Correspondence hundreds and hundreds of letters and from these hundreds and hundreds of letters several hundred were published and it's remarkable to read it's very very personal incredibly incredibly personal and when you read them it's it's it's it's a loving father writing to his sweet daughter it's not a writing to it's incredibly personal there are a few places in this volume where in addition to the writings of the previous writing to his son-in-law and his daughter there is some of the correspondence not a lot but some of the of the of the current to his father-in-law where he's asking his father more questions there's not a lot of stuff but you see the incredible humility of the re in these writings the previous Reb has asking him questions like what's he learning and how's he doing he says well I'm wasting my time and I have no success and I can't find order I mean he didn't want to boast to his re the previous re was not only his his father only was his re and them don't talk about themselves in's presence but there's an unusual little note the our had written a letter to his father and to his father-in-law sometimes in the middle 30s maybe early 30s asking them to explain the that needs to have was in his 30s and his father said he was a the Reb in his 30s was was a God and he was asking his two influences his father and his re his father-in-law to explain to him the meaning of the that you need to have a little arrogance and although it's it's just one word a few words it seems to me that the Reb is simply saying I realized that I'm enough of to teach me how to do it you know so he writes a letter to his own father and his father writes him a long letter remember his father was in Russia and he writes a similar letter to the previous re and the previous doesn't answer he writes to him in regard to your question about when we'll meet face to face I'll discuss it with you why the previous abbb chose to do it this way I can think of 101 reasons but I don't know but I found that little comment that little this this this whole volume of letters has these tiny little tidbits that are so delicious that the Reba realizes that there got to be a balance you can't just be humble there's another side it's got to be in a proper balance but what what's key to this is a humility is not an act it's who a person is and it it's a it's a holy station it's a high level but it's a peaceful station it makes y the most wonderful life because you know nothing is a big deal essentially but then there's a third point line 16 the idea that theal tell us that humble ones are drawn into god with joy now how do joy and humility get together and I want you to know that there's extensive writings inas about the ju deposition of joy and humility here it's just a couple of lines there are other places in the itself where this idea is explored much more extensively Joy is effervescent it's overflowing it's happy it's spilling over that doesn't look humble doesn't look humble at all it looks self assured it looks proud it looks rich and you know what Joy is incredibly humble because only a humble person can allow themselves the freedom to laugh to be joyous to not measure every syllable and Nuance because they're concerned with appearances a truly humble person is a truly free person a truly free person is a truly joyous person so as ironic as it is it's strange as it seems humility doesn't mean fetched humility doesn't mean suppressed it means Beyond self there's plenty of place for joy in that framework in fact his Joy this is the power and the will that that complement the humility that was described earlier that facts that the humility shouldn't be that one be a dmat but that the humility come along with a strength of character and a will to do what one needs to do it must be understood that this Joy is it comes from the humility and the loneliness itself in 34 where he describes that would laugh out of his right eye the right side of face was laughing and cry out of his left eye the left side of face was crying now that's not so easy to do huh but the point is there was a balance between the Joy of his relationship with God and the Brokenness in one sense of who they are by themselves as much as the body concerned one is very humble at the same time there is a joy it comes from the Divine Soul the Divine spark which is within it they give it life so there's a balance it's not a balance where one compromises the next it's a balance where one is a symptom of the next and one complement the other the a truly humble person is a truly free person and you know you could really add to the scheme a truly trusting person he trusts his creator trust God Almighty and there's something very emancipating very exciting very freeing about that line 20 now we read line 21 the AL concludes this is the idea of Mount Si that the says about Mount Si why is it called for the word sin which means hate and there are many different interpretations as which hate the gamar here is referring to when it's saying that mount s brought hatred into the world here he translates Mount Si wrote Into the world a hatred to bad character in other words it's one thing to behave appropriately and not to behave inappropriately it's another to feel appropriately and not to feel inappropriately that's what means a good character means to be emotionally in a good place bad character beans to be emotionally in a bad place and if you're in emotionally a bad place it will show itself in your relationship with other people as well descri in it a constant competition and hatred from the Divine soul to the animal soul and this anger one's tendency towards arrogance and self-absorption and so forth It's raising on self it's being arrogant over in relationship with but it must be stated that this is in a context it's not I'm you know I'm arrogant in my hatred for arrogance I'm humble and I have the will necessary to fight against me and in conclusion I want to repeat what I think is the most important thing or or if I may say in other words what I think all of us already understand Myas in general and those my that discuss matters of Av how to grow as a human being are serious serious means they're not simplistic he means what he's saying but as people this means a journey a lifetime and the only place to look is in the mirror [Music] [Applause] [Music] a [Music] [Applause] [Music]