Timeless Challenge Q&A For Genuine Growth - Rabbi Yosef Viener

and speak on timeless challenge questions and answers for genuine growth it's my comfort to calling or diviner for tonight's [Music] joshua okay the crew especially challenging to set this up in all the many cities and venues and the shkaya for the alum that's coming out because it's easier to give the sheer when you're looking at the people especially i'm looking at the people that i uh i'm looking at for about 20 years so um i know they listen well that's why they were hand-picked and it's particularly heartwarming to see the tremendous uh thirst of kleistrom for the dvar hashem and to learn and to strike and to grow and everybody that's listening out there is included not included as secondary but everybody's doing what they can do which is a big theme of tonight and as we were speaking of the phone last week so you asked me for a title which you normally try to do a few weeks before and it doesn't work that quickly because there's so many things to speak about i'd like to decide toward the end and we left it with some questions and answers although i highly doubt anybody here will have any time to ask any questions because the five or six or seven that i received each one is enough for an hour or two but if it triggers questions or if you can't hold yourself back we can always try to put it in and save it for mitsushima years to come either in usual i am or other fine cities in israel or or here if we're still here and i'm going to begin with one that i received at 12 o'clock last night questions are written very well and i i threw out your email with kadai because i'd like to hear what's on people's minds even though i'm pretty clear on what's on people's mind because i hear about it all day and all night uh the sheila's halacha we're going to start off the bulk of this is going to be very important foundations in hashgaffer we're going to get if we have time to some of the alohas that are unique to the summer maybe even more unique to this summer so let's begin with the first one what i'm going to try to do to build a theme i selected the first three because they had chairs so if your question was sent in and we can get to it it's not because it didn't fit in but it didn't fit into the time frame and the answer we're going to try to use is a theme that's found often in the milton meleo from the and you'll notice as it is with godol who works on a theme he will take a theme and work it through different suburbs but you'll see that it's the same author so let's begin with the question and he writes as follows how can a person stay relaxed and happy when they're diving for yeshua from hashem and so far hashem's answer has been no i've been asked this question hundreds of times various forms but he put it very well and what will be in the future is unknown so how do you deal with that basically so anybody who dives three times a day which is everybody here has no doubt whether we'd like to admit it or not there's no doubt thought about this shiloh crossed your mind maybe you got annoyed with yourself when it crossed your mind no need to get annoyed it's a legitimate question and it's very important to address to figure out how we're supposed to deal with it so a few hanokes and akdamas are in order and i'm going to use them based on similar scheilers that i've dealt with one fellow years ago came to me and he said i want to know is there a minimum he wanted to really know about the maximum shear of how long you're supposed to ask for something and dominating and when you're allowed to stop similar question when can you take it as a no is it a husband to continue and can you stop maybe stop it's like a patience so the first rule i think that is an order is that there's no answer to stop if you're asking for something particular to your matzah let's take common examples i don't know if you have noticed in the middle of australia there's a bracha a lot of people have kawan on do you think i might be referring to so that's him right now but the uh the honest people might say broccoli oh yeah so nothing wrong with that panasonic is a very harsh and uh you need to pay the bills which is why um are into also and uh atakainen without that that's why it's the first broadca if you don't know what to ask for which is part of the sheila if you don't know when to ask and how to ask then the rest is not going to go very well so i know it's about money it's about pan also and this is not downgrading the need and the shivas and the gamoras talk about panasonic which represents panasonic and uh let's assume as this person was assuming that i was assuming he has what to eat and he has a decent panoso but he was putting which i often advise people you don't have to do this either but if you put in your own personal feelings that makes the shaman essay more real we can much more so you're allowed to put in what's relatively urgent in a particular bracha shma colleen a little more after he writes on the international a little more and it becomes a conversation you don't need that because you can ask because they'll put everything in that's a conversation anyway but on a madriga many people find that useful so he tells me which i wasn't surprised to hear that in barack owener for many years he's been asking for parnosa which he had already a nice one and thanking hashem for that pronunciation with him but ember helena he was also putting in that it's very nice but if i had a few more millions or whatever the case may be i have great plans for various uh stalkers and yeah i mean invented nothing wrong with asking it could be a little dangerous money like any brawlhalls a slippery slope but no tightness but he tells me he's been asking for many many years should he give up he'll say he has an icepanels on why does he need the extra money he's asking many years so i told him right away i said you didn't have to ask in the first place nothing wrong with asking you could certainly stop he said well is that his siren if i stop he says you don't have to focus on the same thing and the reason is because the way this person phrases the question i seem to be getting a no so am i supposed to be relaxed and he didn't spell it out but and give up or should i keep on asking that we're not bothering our college borough so nothing wrong with asking if it's not a frivolous request and it's something that you feel you would use in your vedic hashem to help your friends and to help other you didn't have to help your family and that could be pronounced there could be other things as well so first rule is you don't have to ask for it the second clause is now we break this into two the answer could very well be no because either it's not good for you and it's not one of the calum you need in your average hashem and it therefore would be damaging it'll be more of an island and therefore that's why you're allowed to stop you'll have to stop because it's hard to know which one of these multiple choice choices going to be but it's possible that the answer is no because it's not good for you the second part of that might be that it is good for you but not yet and talks about this a lot the changing levels of bahira and the changing sets of calem that you pass disney song you might get a different set of caitlyn and maybe you have the right to answer it and be nice to continue and ultimately you will be zucker to it when those circumstances present themselves and they still need three law to be able to bring it down otherwise we're not doubting bringing it but just wait till hashem's ready to give us the caleb so the answer could be no it's not good for you not now not later the answer can be is not good for you now it might be good for you at a certain time and thank you and the third possibility might be that it's not good for you now and it'll be good for you later but you need to dive in x amount of tillage and there's a number we're not privy to what that number is because that would make things easy and not only do you need x amounts of three lists but you also need x amounts of sim and a lot has to happen to be zero to that particular problem and we will never know because if we did we'd be receiving the voice every day and uh we're not on that madrigal we don't have access to it in terms of remaining relaxed just as much i think it's pushit means in rookies as well even though we were all taught and there are many gamers that support this and well taught by rabbi m that you should not be somebody if you're learning x amount you should add all the time and constantly push and that's true let's say you're pushing pushing pushing your ass and coach even more havana and a greater ability and the ability to learn another five hours into sleep only two and the answer seems to be no so in terms of being relaxed and happy if you know you're trying your hardest and you're dominating the right way you're dominating for the right reasons and the answer is no right now then you can talk to be relaxed the fact point number two the fact that you don't really know if you're trying hard enough that's hard to be honest with yourself and don't let you know if your diving is on par and there's always room for improvement over there so this part gets people a little nervous and we'll explain as we go along why not be nervous about because this is a shaman life there's a common misconception and you sometimes hear it echoed by good people well-intentioned and these expressions uh can be a big zone just as long as they're happy all expressions like that like they ask them just as long as they're happy that's the main what is the main what is your goal in life so many people say to be safe to be secure to be financially secure to be healthy to be happy anybody who thinks about it for a moment anybody who's firm who has a grounding and basic ashkafa knows that all the things we just listed although it's all of us reaching every one of them and we do that's a means to the end if does hashem be a very very important part of asia's mitzvos being healthy is very important to be able to do more mixes and have enough money to pay for everything all these things are important that's not what we're here for that has to be stressed because we as a community have been struggling for the last four months we then we're not getting into this tonight i've had three months of it and i'll uh i'll answer i told them the next show of an answer on this is in 10 years that's how long break i need but uh it's close i think i got a brock of a day i'm healthy throughout and i'm able to answer the shoulders but lameisa there is a balance between the focus on being healthy and staying healthy and living healthy and then not forgetting to live is that simple enough i'll leave you can all fight it out afterwards what i meant by that what that means and that's not downplaying safety and i just think we need a little bit more vehicle depending on this the person has no good or bad they're all hey look at you and everybody's good but there are as you've seen different gradations on how much emphasis to put on one of the other and not a criticism of either way we just have to remember we have to be doing both yes nishmarthem is an issue a makeupon a theme you find in any of the bali musa abdesla says this over and over again we'll see a few examples in a moment is that we're here to pass the sanders and we think in the sand is amazing and you ask a fellow when was the last time you had any signs oh yeah i remember um you know two months ago i had a very difficult assignment there's a family member lylander that was ill and there was a panasonic we have to realize and this shouldn't cause sadness this should cause excitement which should lead to contentment that's the better translation of what hashem wants in terms of simcha and that is you wake up in the morning every minute of the day is any saying every time you open your mouth isn't he saying what are you going to say how are you going to say it i can accomplish something by saying it or hurt somebody by saying it and every time you spend money is this fault is this talker is this uh bringing me closer to my goal in brooklyn years or am i spoiling my kids every single thing we do so tell that to some people say a hundred sentence a day that sounds very disturbing but it shouldn't that's called living and we have a right to darwin you don't have to die for anything in particular unless it's basic if you're average hashem do you feel lacking you should want to dive in you should not be able to wait till the next thrilla and it should be in acharyas one of the most interesting tai chi's rebecca i have what i think i can handle please don't let maya various and any ketrugan rahman create bigger industries every time you get into a rut and work on yours it creates another model and you have now another new sign it gets more difficult a lot of things saying means to remind ourselves that if you want to fight the eighth hour and never fight head-on stay 20 steps in front of him and don't meet him in the corner many people say ah anybody could do that you gotta fight like a man i said let them fight like a man we know a lot about the aids of her and all the instructions are lovely danny sally and davin to stay away from him because once you're in his clutches it doesn't really help to try to kick and scream and get out of it so lord david saiyan is like dominating for atakainen to make the right decisions and we have a thousand decisions a day we have to look at them all through the prism of what is important for my work needs to work with my family and my community and is this going to bring me closer or not all our trees should be based on that with all that we have another possibility and mr meleo has quite a few pages on this particular he focuses on hana and that's why obviously this could be the first example we're talking about how long should i dive in sahana waited decades he's dominating and diving and diving and dominating for a child and seemingly for the show here the answer seems to be no can i stop now well she could have stopped enough time is on her she would have lost out and giving birth to schmorland navi and we possibly would have lost out on somebody of that madrigal that caliber and she continued and continued and continued what triggered the success why is the punk distributor she got a broken melee that helped but that wasn't the whole story what triggered that at this point she was successful so it's a combination of there's a number in chimaya how many tilas and how much mercedes netflix you have to go through and she was suffering from panini mental shame shamayim and she went through a lot to get there and if desolate says at this particular point in kleisol's history there needed to be a change because they've been in the period of the shape of 350 years and he brings down the radak who holds the plague of and peso we're at the end that's he goes with the doctor the doctor says it's at the end they just had two disasters poligish bhagiva and peso michael and now they needed a king and they needed a leader who can now transition from the shaytim to appoint a melech and she acutely felt this kisarin in clay's room and she felt the lack of covert for the shrina and she knew kaiser needed it and now she died and she says i want somebody who do i want so we would say we would dive in we want a child okay perfectly understandable i wouldn't falter for that but his writers you can't argue with first of all she had the child she promised beforehand she'd be mocked ishmael hashem and they didn't travel to the michigan back and forth by car so as soon as he's able like three years old i'm gonna bring him and goodbye because she only had the school of stats for it she felt 20 years went by obviously it's not really in my mouth to have it and this is one of as many examples where the muscle can be changed by tree law and sometimes feel is needed plus a dire need of somebody else that will give you the source if you're really trying to help other people which is an amazing concept that we can use we might not be able to help all clients at one time but if you're davening and you really try to internalize that the extra money or the extra gazon and factory you can go with less sleep because you can help more people whatever you're asking for if it's being used for your roughness that's fine you're working is helping other people every time you learn more you're helping clients roll specifically hannah felt that she's got to contribute to the next dar and while she's asking she wants the leader of the next door who's going to have to change the whole mechanism of leadership and she said he's not mine i'm going to give him away which he did and i want a child and i don't want a child i want a child who's shocked can i emotion iron no once you're asking nothing wrong ask the sky but she felt if she had shemaya to understand that there's something needed and i'd like to have the source to put it into place and this with all the mysterious netfish and all the crying and all the dabbing and x amount of time went by and it was needed at this particular point in time got her what she was asking for that's his example and that is a very um very unique way of looking at a bakasha to make it beyond yourself and to really not fool yourself but train yourself to understand whatever you're doing at work needs helps other people by definition and if you actually make plans to use it for other people that will be another score so if the answer is still no either it's too much of an assignment for you and therefore you're not getting it for your own good or it's not time yet and you need or you have the option to keep going that's example number one example number two you know we're in big trouble where i see we're already 20 minutes into it i only got the first shot and i just get four pages so that's why i keep coming back okay question number two with a small island i could really go till 12 1 because you're all darkened tonight already that you can go with less sleep right so uh we'll see how far we get question number two what are my obligations of kirv some of my friends are not doing that well and might not be a great influence on me but i think i can really have a positive effect it's a pretty loaded question sounds like it's from a booker but it can apply to an adult a parent a grandparent and i pick this as number two because we're going to be talking about this theme of how to maximize our talents to spread it around and bring it to other people as well so moisture says in a very fascinating truth he talks about giving time for kirb and romasha says that he thinks it should be similar to stockholm and even though the mahabharata says this is not well known to ask anybody how much talk do you give they say my ceremony knows the word myself well the macabre says the sheer is actually hamish twenty percent i've had many stairs of disbelief so i see you look it up it's the first machado it's the shears twenty percent and he says biddy evan if you get ten percent now a lot of people can't afford ten percent so whatever they give the yeah i'd say because it's not because anymore the gun seems to all the twenty percent is a real din and the type of sense but david others say it's a hit during the ten percent is equal then but those are the two numbers in the success borrows that and here he talks about the meister the ten percent and it talks about the ten percent of your time you gotta figure out how much time you have in the first place which is not that easy to do and ten percent of that if you're qualified to do it everybody's qualified at some level it depends on your qualifications and how that mixes with the person you're trying to work on a cure doesn't only mean cure for hiking coming here crave him helping your friends who are from and helping them try to improve in a proper way where you're being here without lacing into them that's not going to work nowadays you i always suggest you tell them you know i've been working the same problem for many years which you probably have and i struggle with it also why don't we work on it together and do it in a smart way where you get their cooperation and you help each other out so now maisha suggests you should do it again be very careful with knowing your limits and knowing who you're dealing with because of the risk involved now how much of a risk can somebody take the negative vibes you're getting from somebody else could bring you down it's easier unfortunately elena to get brought down before you bring somebody else up because he hates the hard works over time so if if it's very young usually the incubation period of their original aliyah and solidification that roughly is is pretty important to hang around with benelia you'll say well how can you tell a bit of hang around banane leo if there is in a nurse show that everybody is trying to hang around with benelia that will hopefully have a upward pressure that everybody will try to be putting their best effort in it works that way if it becomes the in thing that everybody's trying to and they don't want to associate they'll be nice they'll say good morning they'll try to help out when they can but depending on how impressionable somebody is you have to be careful about the risk what's the din if you are a lifeguard and um okay by a pool it's pretty easy to jump in and get somebody elenor if they need help by a beach with an undertow and waves or for ship and high seas not so easy when you take a lifeguarding course uh you learn that you have to and they test you on this i remember when i took it they sent a guy who was six foot i don't know what he was i wasn't that tall then and i wasn't very strong not then not now and i saw him i was turned back 300 pounds six foot five six foot six that's the guy they sent out i told the head of the program afterwards i said you know a friend like you uh he said no i want to make sure you really know what you're doing so if anybody's ever taken a course infested you gotta he's supposed to feign like he's panicking and you gotta he's gonna use you as a flotation device and you gotta flip them over get them under control and slap them back to shore that's not so easy so there's always some risk involved what's the then well obviously another thing is we have lifeguards and we allow people to go swimming even at beaches so it's got to be mutter both the lifeguard and for the swimmers why is it there's a risk involved and they're doing it for relaxation exercise the answer is we allow minimal risk and if somebody is in trouble islam we allow you to put yourself at some harm's way to be able to get them under control and in a safe place how much risk so it's actually the bothering says if somebody's in trouble you've got to take uterus ain't suffocating if you do nothing he's not going to make it and if you do something maybe he will obviously send somebody who knows how to swim well and is trained for this if you can the bible it's a child the way that probably is but the bodily seems to hold not so the reason we know that is because the basis that brings down the insulin if you have your xiaomi and the body is passing like this they say if it talks about then he says the xiaomi says you got to do something ah it's dangerous but don't do something it's very dangerous and in the mukha it doesn't bring it down which is rare he wrote the same thing he decided there was a bible that argues and i said we pass again that you're allowed to take some risk because that's the nature of the fire the firemen or the lifeguard or whoever's on duty and even if you're not trained and paid for this but you think you know what you're doing also we hold there's a big midfielder and we allow a bigger risk than climbing a tree without scaffolding equipment for a little vanessa we take no risks over there you got the professionals do it and it's only a midfield it's a minute before focus so don't climb the tree when it comes to saving lives it won't take some risk but not like you xiaomi is mashed my 30 40 50 risk we'll take something under mira whatever the case may be interesting shyla you can clear when it comes to cure of care for craving there's some risk involved always you can hear some insane things and some fear and some negativity there's always some risk when we allow as much risk as we do in a physical saving of somebody's life maybe shall allow more because i'm saving his workmen because that's more important or maybe less because right now if i don't do anything the guy is never going to die whereas he is it doesn't have to be my issue right now and we struggling with something hopefully we'll get somebody better trained and it's a very individual shy look but ramesha says there is a chief to take time to learn with people you don't have to discuss philosophy that's less risky when it comes to debating issues there's always some risk involved but i tell people kirb is a very very clusterful thing and the source is off the charts if the person is too young and the person is dealing with a friend who is obviously same age a big influence you got to be extra careful and you can mention it to barbarika mention it to other people who might be able to handle it but la mais uh hayaka kaidman i think the argument is stronger in rochnias as important as kira is it has to be done with certain rules and regulations in place interesting ryan ledover there's a picada that talks about the chuva process of very shlokkish and schlockish we know was a highway robber head of a gang and he had describes there him as two friends and every night they went down to the crossroads and met people and explained to them that it's worthwhile for them to give to their cause because otherwise it could get messy never says vaishlakis even knows he has hurt anybody but he was speaking of six foot five and about he was an opposing figure and uh i don't know if he was but he was strong and la mice uh they made a lot of money and the measures describes that after a couple years of doing this he started thinking about life and he wasn't really happy of course he couldn't be happy he's a pinterest and he snuck out of the cave in the wee hours of the morning per your question of law of the day in the cyan why do you sneak out of the cave tell his friends okay guys this ridiculous is not a nice thing for a good jewish boy and bugsy siegel would agree with that in the elements even though in that line of work and i'm leaving and i think he should come with me he didn't do that he understood these are his close friends and there's gonna be a discussion and it's two against one and they might talk him out of it so he slipped out of the cave and then he met rebecca jumped into the lake offered assisted marriage became atomic became atomic clever the rest is history general wonder the end of that pick of the blessing says that after many decades where shlokas died the same day they died separate moves that's a reminisce to the fact that they all had the same characters and the same longevity and the other two friends could have done they just didn't think about it enough and beijing she's in the sharma goes to gareth and the other two go to shoal tortillas which is the lesson of the piccadillas jeff wonder did vaishlakis go back afterwards to try to bring them back so i don't know what happened in later years when it became the americas but in the initial years i could be sure that he probably has rabbi you know i feel bad this is really now i'm living and i have two friends who are still up to no good should i spend my ten percent my meister says in the truva ten percent fakir rabbiah said later and he probably tried it later didn't work it didn't work even though wish lakers was very convincing and rabbi yeah himself said that at this stage of your life you can't do it the reason i'm mentioning this is because through our trailers we're always looking for ajaka we're looking for ways to use our klim and ways to use them safely and we always have to look and look again and recalibrate if we're not using it to the fullest and if we could be helping somebody helping them with their knees and doing husset with them we have enough rights to do so amazing but it has to be done safely and desolate says i'll mention it quickly you should see it inside it's uh breathtaking this hulk shot but he lives at a time the worst time of the shema the romans it's under a lot of pressure he cracked and thai says brings you show me that when he was in shiva he was actually listening to galician music and had philosophy books greek philosophy books on his lap under his gamer he was smart enough to ace every beginner and he still was reading the philosophy of books and he didn't go off the dark then but the foundation was and then his father promised that he would dedicate him to terror because he saw the fireworks that were making as they were sitting at the table the bris which was shallow the shema there were some cracks on the foundation and when the going got tough he cracked and he went really off like he still ramayana went along with him ramirez he said i'm just taking the fruit very carefully leaving the pits which only ramire could do is shia la la whether you're allowed to do that someplace can say we don't pass like that and some say we do but only if you're a mayor so it's not norgay at us so my mayor felt horrible for him and he was always trying and his well tell us there walking one day and with shabbos and acher who was still an eloy and remembered everything even though he was mahal shabazz but frahesia he was walking with our mayor and he stopped all of a sudden he says mayor you have to stop at khan so you have to stop i'm continuing so you had enough respect at least for a mayor that had a very close relationship when he died ramayana begged him and he cried and ramayana says i think there was sami harichuva maisa when the shama went to the base in somalia which happened a second later if that long so this the the first and last time the base in shamaila didn't exactly know what to do usually unfortunately they're only very two clear-cut directions and it's not much of a suffix uh they know what to do because this kayak attire they couldn't put him again on there's too much torah and they couldn't put him get aidan because he was maha shah's verse he was an apocalypse he used to go into yeshivas and take bahram and take them out of your sheets it was bad but if his talmud is our mayor you get an idea of who alicia benovia was so he was in limbo and rob mayer felt so bad he said i they gotta let him in to get him otherwise never gonna get a kapura so he said when i die i'm going to make sure he gets something to get him that's a talmud sort of i guess if you look at it that way it's better than being out in the cold and he said ryan the diver when i die you will see smoke coming out of his cavern and marmara died and there's smoke coming out of the cavern the next day gevalde don't quote this out of context um but so far so good and who was two darius later rabbi because the terror came through this line and he made a comment that's all going on his lotion over here he wasn't timing our mayor i might be on goofer lamecha robbie benera is it a gevora to have your red be burnt he didn't have a titan our mayor he said it's a time on us we should do more that's the first step but it's two differences already we got to do something said when i die the smoke is going to stop and he died and the smoke stopped why said let's go to this gemara when i die i'm going to go i'm going to take him by the hand and he's coming to me with me two of them where he was going and i'm gonna hold him by the hand let somebody stop me pretty bold and the smoke stopped so destler wants to know what exactly was this what was the mayor doing why couldn't robert do that why did my man take him by the hand my mayor he says mayor in the element of shamans couldn't get that close this is my interpretation of a very deep indian and kabbalah i think this is what the mythometer was getting to but he couldn't get that close to belo mazette because it was dangerous because he was still learning from him but like his havarium said this is too dangerous and he's gonna have a bad effect on you and your rookie is ramayana said i have to know myself i do know myself i can handle it he did handle it and there was no ill effect but he couldn't get that close and that echoed in the element of shamas so he couldn't take him by the hand and bring him back up what can he do what can he accomplish he says i can accomplish that would i go there the letterman think ahead him because what is ghanam that's a good question there are many answers to that what is ghana gahannam is the suffering when you see what you're missing in your rookies you see the distance in you and the screener now i hope none of you are smiling when you hear that oh that's that's what it is hashem i don't know if you smile in jail i couldn't tell but uh that's not good news picture the most jealous moment you ever had in your life and multiply it by 20 million so you're not jealous of anybody in particular that too but you're you're angry at yourself i want to come to the trainer they're not letting me anywhere near that's the biggest the worst pain possible odessa says didn't have that pain because he had so much separate from his terror he didn't feel that pain ah he did all sorts of errors but he had so much terror he didn't feel the pain because he had that seepage he says automatically you're learning terror you're learning about the screener so he had that attachment this is an amazing concept so he couldn't go to get him he couldn't experience ghana sarmaya says when i go i will fix that because i lived in his daughter i was this talmud i was there by the shema i was there by all the horrible things are going on by the romans and i was also under pressure and i stayed firm and when he sees me and he sees minor shama he'll understand that he's taking missing something that he could have done it also and that'll be his gahannam and then things will get moving after a couple of days he says okay that's a lot to get him i can go get close to him because i had no danger in life and therefore i could take it by the hand that i cannot bring him up that shows you the acharias and caring for people how we have to put i'm using the word kira bakir means just every morning getting somebody excited about the learning getting somebody to come to david and getting somebody to pick you up i don't want to give away all the secrets because then you'll know how i'm trying to convince other people but if you have a friend who's not showing up to minion on time not just once or twice like for the last 25 years so if nothing you said worked then you have to be better at it everybody's wired differently so maybe uh you know say i i really need help over here can you pick me up now that resonates better in muncie because you have to be picked up to go somewhere he said no i live down the block i don't take my car i can't find parking so that might not work here but think of something to draw him in you're not putter and draw the lines where it's becoming a in you when you're hearing things and watching things that are affecting you and you can't be miss gobber that's when it gets too risky and you have to say i can help but i can't put myself my family at risk this is a decision we make with our children all the time and with ourselves and this insight with ramen and ravieren shows you how complicated it is so that is one small aspect of our obligations in kirv and the risks associated let's go to the third question this is uh similar to the first in terms of davening but very apropos for the times i have been very on edge and not as productive as i'd like to have been during the corona pandemic unfortunately i think we could all uh say that to some degree it's been difficult and i still feel that i will be in limbo for the foreseeable future perhaps a half a year a year a year and a half what if they do not find a vaccine what if it doesn't work what if they don't have enough what if the virus mutates the question goes on now you might say this guy has really had a bent out of shape i can't tell you how many times i hear this a day from very normal people so what can we tell ourselves and i think everybody is nervous everybody's still on edge and who can have it disappear as quickly as it appeared hashem kissing the vaccine hashem could not hashem there's so many possibilities and this goes back to we mentioned in the beginning there's uh living safely and there's due diligence and then there's the smart them and there's all the good things that you could do and there's also living and this person who asked this question and the 100 others who asked similar questions are quite normal good people from people normally functioning pretty well and how do you start dealing with this because if we don't deal with it better our children who they're going to be probably books and studies written on this you know the effect of and it's i can hear could be an issue the effect of a very pressurized situation on children who were in their developmental stage i'm still in the developmental stage and maybe most of you are also so it has an effect on everybody and i knew in mid-april when my grandson who was all of seven then seven and a half i guess talk about optimism do you ever do this study i have this assurance all the time yes a kid under 10 how old he is he'll give you fractions and fractions upon fractions of seven and three quarters and seven seven eighths and seven it sounds like he's uh trading the stocks or something like that his mom is giving he's almost eight and then when i talk to anybody like over 50 they start rounding down by decades so okay i get that that's fine but my six-year-old grandson came in and uh he said i see him all the time he's talking to his younger brother and his younger brother must have mentioned the word corona and i heard him giving heavy mustard says you mention that word one more time okay was giving them over the head i think he fathomed exactly what but he really got upset so yes it could it could have an effect and the only way to temper this is going back to the basics of bitarch and i'd like to mention two things there's so much to say about this but it's a very practical question i feel like i'm a limbo like i can't make plans i can't what's going to be so the same people that called me with the sheila's about getting married and getting engaged and having zoom dates and going out and not going out and going in and uh i got some very interesting euclid shielders from people who were going out in places that were taking shayla because they couldn't go to a restaurant they could go to a hotel and they couldn't go to them rightfully so and they're not interested and i told them you can't go because not safe and it said was out there so uh there are a lot of people clay so doing with their various shops and businesses and like which i you know up up the page like 1700 and just on the unique coverage either but the same and all these are but they just have an interesting twist i mean why would somebody call for help with your child from a hardware store like it doesn't make any sense right but it does if you understand the uh the context so i think most people intuitively understood that after the first week or two this is not going away so quickly and you need to live and you have to figure out how to get this balance so where do we have this in history the good news is very good news you're looking for everything's there obviously and now these are there but it's very highlighted there's a very famous ramban vampire wants to know why is it that we have tile on an extra uni and a rem is and then we have myself a similar bottom we have a hundred token a different schmooze why that's the icker and amuno is following your rebbe's direction and your master's direction and the direction of asma even though it goes against everything you stand for and elias whole in life was to marry into the family and the answer was lloyd with an olive for our first question the answer is no and he like he was ahmadinejashiva they're very very close and he brought up the shadow he starts straightening out his ties oh how's the time i've been waiting decades for this and then admiral says yeah go to my hometown in a far off land because it's sorry to say i'm not going to be you i'm going to go to my family because they're good solid of the other i'm just raising the uh he didn't say it like that but the rushes around as that gosha and talk about crushing defeats like this is he's looking forward and dominating his whole life this was a lawyer with an olive and you can't explain it because i'm the russian shiva my daughter grew up in this house these sheep is over here they're a bunch of their voters are and what the joshua's iran answers to this if you can explain it to me fully i don't mind of course i i don't really understand what the answer is but um there's something to do with the inherent good traits of the family which has got to be the answer shia liz what does that mean because they were up there about zara and then lavon tried to poison him that's about zara and retire and then bisour was up to other things that's guilty arias so it's you try to understand the stuff as best as you can and then elias's godless is my rebbe and this is what he said and that's the answer because that's the virus that was his new science in the mid bar and clay salt gets out of a triumph so the next time and this is uh a running theme is that whenever you have many many people seem to be saying the same thing obviously it's representing something that's very very essential for you to skype what is that so the says why does a person give us such a longer counter than massage the honor got up and they are unrested and they follow the iron then they encamped and then they parked themselves and then they got going and repeats it over and over and over again wants to know why is this so important because they once they followed the island and number two allahu each family had like 97 children can imagine just packing up the linen forget the rest of their clothing and the mother's in charge with i assume some help from some of the older kids but still packing and unpacking and they're found direction they're told by a clergy who just followed the on on that's the representative of the shriner and the foul direction so our band spells out that they had to learn at the deception of claudius nationhood the beginning of their verdicts hashem that the entire theme of life is following directions whether we understand whether we don't whether we find it easy but they find it difficult and when we find it difficult hashem is doing us a favor to give us more scar and it's all in the amazon tsara agro and we americans don't do well with this theme even though like i've just touched up yiddish kites in like one sentence we don't do well with it because everything's got to be comfortable and broke hashem it has been comfortable and broke hashem was secured by hashem despite everything that's going on has never been more secure and despite what's going on in the streets and in politics it's still better than it ever was but we're not used to this so go explain to people i wasn't born during the war not even shortly afterwards but i was excited to spend 45 years of my grandparents who were and i'm not saying they didn't take it seriously this is a serious uh danger we got to be careful but they said like all this it's not me speaking these are people who lived in europe and then i even talked about the holocaust one the one i'm quoting wasn't around during uh covert but something similar and they said one day in europe one one morning in europe before any holocaust was more than any of the americans can handle in a lifetime so to understand that we're a little bit weak due to the great meet the success that hashem knows what we can and can't handle and therefore we have the biggest chef on broadcast after world war ii and after our experience in europe because how much can you handle with that said we're still here to understand that it's not supposed to be easy we ask for non-incentives we ask for peace security health and everything else and we should ask for it and kang year bush to continue our beer's gold sunday but lambaisa if that's causing us to look at rochnias like we look at our easy chair and that if it doesn't happen as easy as plopping down kicking the thing up and falling to sleep quickly with some music in the background and all the kids in the seventh bedroom if our rookney has now become something that if it's very easy i'll do it and if it's not i'm not interested then we need to ask the machine even quicker because it has a very very bad effect on amelus and ramban says that akash barco is never out to give us a difficult time that goes without saying it's even a husband like that but has such a lotion and he says that the reason they had what we would call looks like a haphazard travel schedule and the plus expels it out sometimes they'd go and they'd pitch their tents unpack which took five days and then the morning of day six the elena would start going up and they said i can't believe it the anna's going up okay pack everything up they listen about all the complaining complaining in the midburg they listen we understand a little bit more why they're complaining it's a long trip and they'll come out coach brock was trying to train them the wrong bounces what was the training the training was you can't get used to living and having avada's hashem on an easy chair so even though they had month falling and they had the anon surrounding them and they were safe and secure and the enemy attacked and the missiles never came in and they had all the food and water they needed but it was always just enough the mine fell just enough you couldn't store anything did you notice they complain about water a lot because apparently they have the water and then they don't have war the next day you'll say well what's with these people they had water yesterday the day before don't they know hashem has a good track record i don't know if any of you ever traveled through the sinai i did i was um 12 years old i think and i don't even know if i was very deep into the sign i probably not but you know they the guy who was driving the jeep said we're going to the sinai i looked around i was never and i'm i wasn't scared to go i i went on and i packed my canteen you go prepared for these things and all of a sudden like three minutes into the drive there's nothing around but sand dunes so i start asking him how far is the 7-eleven from here so he keeps muttering some of these crazy americans and i had my canteen and uh he informed me there was no slurpees along the way and um he um he kept driving and we went further and further and further and i saw more as i couple cactuses and i have my canteen and i'm drinking drinking drinking and my canteen is low i'm happy i had the experience because i never had it again never had it before did you anybody ever hear worried where the next drink of water was coming from i ran out of water by the way and i was afraid he's gonna get lost he said no problem i know exactly where i'm going he couldn't know where he's going because there's no gps and every sand dune looked the same but he got us back and i'm here today i'm happy to say but hala devahu so ramban says they're packing and unpacking and what happened the next time so the after unpack for five days they get going and they listen they're troopers and then the other goes a little bit it stops and then i can picture the husband comes home and said um we've been here already half a day why don't you unpack so oh no no i'm not doing that i'm on a pack and this time the other can leave any time i don't unpacking and then they would stay in that spot for like four years so why would hashem do this hashem is always there to help us the answer is if we don't get trained that life isn't always you could have been for it that's the question we started with yukadavan for peace and security ishmael we should darven for it but understand that in life it takes many different forms but there's always going to be something distracting you and something laying on you and if you wait to start your vedas hashem and really get into your learning when everything is over or you wait to make your plans everything is over it's never going to work and not picking on bahrain but the aids are her picks on them more than anybody else because they're public enemy number one because they're learning all day and we all know we have a lot of bacharam who are wearing long pants now but if you remember that far back i do because i remember eighth grade was probably right before my running with the sand dunes and um remember you spent a lot of time eighth grade tumbling about massifta and then you spend a lot of time in ninth grade discussing whether you should be switching and then in 12th grade you're tumbling like this that's some of that's natural but you don't want to waste time worrying about each step one let's say because you've got to live in the present conference climb as famous as saying the black gummer in front of you is all that exists in the world concentrate on that block your damage on sra concentrate on the next block and not even the horseman that's right that's all you have and ignore everything else without that we can't produce as much as we want and ramban says that's why they have to get used to already in the mid bar that you think you know the plans as soon as you're settled hashem will ask you to move so you get used to it and as soon as you want to move and you want to move on and you're unsettled and you're bent out of shape persian we'll keep you there for four years that training came already in the mid bar and we have to go back to look these parishes otherwise you can't wait a half a year a year waiting for a shoe to drop and i also counsel people like every hour in the hour i people with this form of question and padding mode again these are good normal people i said how often are you looking at the news so i one guy said i promise i don't look at it more than every 15 minutes promise that was already good i said every 50 minutes he says yeah it used to be a lot worse i i cut it back you won't be normal if you have everything is the next thing we're gonna second wave a third wave and a fourth wave it's good to be careful and know a little bit what's going on but who has time to do that you already you're supposed to be learning that you're supposed to be working then something else that will benefit it's not good for your health and it also runs counter to the ramban and every other lesson learned in so the answer this question is nobody knows there is a vaccine they'll have enough the virus mutates the whole thing will go away very quickly we don't know what hashem has in store but we do know that all this is training because covid out of the picture completely emits hashem regular life we're doing this too often every stage of life we're spending a tremendous amount of time worrying about the next stage instead of worrying about the mitzvah right in front of you that's feeling right in front of you professor right in front of you and the black camera right in front of you we only have a few minutes left so we're going to skip another 20 pages and i'm just going to get to a few quick summer halachas which if i say quick enough we'll leave everybody in complete disarray and i guess it'll be food for thought so we'll start with the food for thought the number one shiloh which i'm unhappy that i didn't receive more used to be most of june every single child from eight and up would ask me this isla unfortunately this year camp was very complicated and not everybody went so i got the shy little less but those who asked me who had asked me another year said they're re-asking because they finally found a way to go to camp but they're stuck in some hotel somewhere in that very little room and therefore the re-asking the sheila was in past years and now when i get there can i put the food under my bed so you all know we don't put food under the bed to the extent of not putting food under the bed we don't even know whether with the oven we should eat the food that place come and say yeah please don't say not tasha it's the shot of it is theresa so there's moon to make them put in a box seal doesn't really help too much one sheet that holds it does most sheets of whole doesn't but i found it interesting the people were asking now and asked before i said don't remember what i said last year before they said yeah but we have now even less room because they're not on our regular campus they finally figured out for 20 years they found a place to put it now they're not there anymore okay so i proposed just something to think about the last young man to ask me i mentioned this a few years back i said you know a lot has changed from when i went to camp and it wasn't that long ago when i went to camp first of all the bungalows didn't have air conditioning i'm not saying all of them have now i'm not accusing anybody of such gosh miss but when yesteryear they had camp uh they had what you can maybe call a canteen but they weren't making hamburgers and hot dogs every night and serving pizza with two different areas in the cafeteria for flashing some milks and uh the canteen sold a couple things if you got lucky and we brought food i said why are you bringing the food part i picked this question i have 50 of them here i picked this question because there's a muscle behind it also don't put the food onto the bed and it's really it's a serious shylux and then you know all of us brought them up we don't put food on the bed and it's not healthy la myself why is everybody bringing so much food the answer is the old man syndrome the same thing madoka so i asked him i said i happen to know in your camp to have can i know her a canteen that would put the catering service and the helmsey palace to shame she said what's the helmsley palace i said you're really young uh so uh he said yeah it's very expensive is that very expensive you're paying your own way i was already getting oppressed he said no but um i once came home with a bill that had many zeros on it from the canteen my father mentioned maybe next summer you'll uh bring some of it up i said okay let's keep it off aim issue we'll have to find a place to put it that's not where it's coming from it's coming from the you have to the mindset is we all i'm not blaming them we have to have the food in the freezer and the second freezer and we have to store up and then as you all experience the last few months at the beginning people storing up is not the word because they thought the sky was falling in and i can't tell you how many people have called me and asked about the sheilas of pulling back on the miser not because they have a job because they want to spend an enormous amount of money stocking up there's already a few months in where it's pretty clear to me and i unfortunately have to look at the news not every 15 minutes but i know what's going on i said i assure you there is not going to be a problem with the food chain at that point it was pretty pushing he said no no he just heard a fresh rumor 15 minutes ago because he's only looking at every 15 minutes that there might be a problem with the meat i said even lou you saw the problem with the meat what happened to all the cans of salmon and all the matzah and everything else he brought to the house he said i can't eat that all the time and i'd meet so hashem we live in a wonderful affluent free society and we have to thank hashem every day for it we also have to keep in mind that a lot of these questions come from the fact that we're very pampered i'm just as i'm not excluding myself and we're not going up 20 madrigas in this regard but the short-term goal is to at least get the convenience factor everything we created in the world today every gadget is to save you time which it never does we've never had less time as a society and to save you the schlep and to make it more convenient so this guy told me i never heard the word before this is years back he says he's got this new chair that's why i'm picking on the easy chair i'm thinking of him i have an easy chair in my house i'm not saying i said in it but uh i would in theory if i had time and he said it's good it's really geshmak every little shop is he goes and he slurns in it i said you what he said i slurred in it i said excuse my amarantis i i know a little english a little lush and okay this little meg what's that he says well that's when you're sitting it and you sort of like sleep and learn at the same time and i learned a new word so that's very american that's that we could have our cake and it too and rav dessler and every other one of the baalemus or just quote gomorrah after gemara that we're here to work and if you really want to be happy you work hard that's the front version of no pain no game but no pain no gain is a real hush guffa you can't accomplish anything not in gashmius and certainly not rookies unless you understand that every nissanian even though your initial question is we try to avoid them yes we do we should dive in every day to avoid them because we have enough on our plate but the ones we're dealing with understand that you're here to conquer this and that takes focus and work it need not be panic and you don't have to think of any sign tomorrow and next year and what's going to be down the line you have to think that they're starting right in front of you and if you're sweating a little bit for the design right here and you understand that it's an exciting opportunity and excitement speaks to you in terms of accomplishing and contentment then you're beginning to understand the fasted alien of what akash barco gives us all the time in terms of the choices we have the behavior we have and the excitement in trying to be miss gober on a lot of the things that are built into such a society i will end with the other example which i'm not going to address now but please remind me next year there's a great sport one of the only sports if you call it that that's great for social distance in camps because i think the original rule which nobody keeps and that's part of the problem is you have to be at least six feet away and that is the sport where everybody goes and they spend the afternoon shooting their friends in paintball um that's a so the good news is it's not basketball football you don't have to hug the guy you'll have to stand over him it's pretty good for a coveted situation the problem is that i've been asked to shiloh many times and enough people told me about it that one of the few things before they asked i told them there are far better things hashgraphically analogically that you could do with your afternoon if you're an avid fan if you want to know what it's all about talk about shalom guy they're magazines probably one of the most kosher magazines you can ever see because it's all i can't say it's all men i don't don't look at the magazines i can't vouch for that but it's basically a war magazine people dressed in khakis it's all about rifles and people shooting people and and strategy and how to take over and i understand capture the flag i was in camp also as i mentioned so that's fine i understand touch football okay tackle football similar shiloh it's a bit dangerous without equipment shooting at people already even though they say they're doing a good fun i've interviewed hundreds of people who played it pretty seriously and they say that the good news is we're friendly before friendly after during the game it gets pretty vicious and i said but the rule is nobody's supposed to get hurt the rule is supposed to be shooting at x distance and every time i mention that they give me a look like nobody does that that's no fun what you do is when the guy's about to surrender you close in on him at point blank range and i gave a share one time at camp about this and the head counseling came over to me and said did you know that uh that tonight uh this afternoon we're going on a like a major major paintballing thing we're gonna have lights at the nights gonna start in the afternoons the whole plan it's gonna be a war game at night a day and i got a whole elaborate plan did you know that i said honestly i didn't somebody had asked me the sheila i guess that's why he asked me so i said well i guess you're not canceling the trip now i said there's an instant array so have allah and you can't be michael the kamara has three macarius from nausea that the nazis are bringing a carbon just for a capper from mazda from yayan which isn't too difficult especially for me it doesn't drink the stuff but even for people who do uh not that i'm not even havala you can't be heard of yourself ramesh struggles with taking a blood test for giving blood take a blood test for medical needs one of the shots we didn't get to it's i had a doctor in the school who's very close to me and kept asking me did you take a blood test i said what for i'm busy dealing with shy as everybody else's blood test he said why don't you find out if you have antibodies i said i like being anti-anybody that's first of all and second of all i never had it why should i die so he said no it could be on my law if you're giving plasma to my lip you need an excuse you can't just go take a test my moisture says you can't even give blood he hasn't excused the guy he's getting paid and maybe he has a whole long trooper to explain it he has a simple blood test a prick and that's it anybody who tells you in paintball they're not doing havola either never saw the game or plays it in his line i'm talking about huge welts and anybody who doesn't have any wealth either hid behind the bushes all the time he's a coward or has such a sharp shot that he killed everybody else and nobody got here more than two so i gave this year i said okay you're not calling nothing called i have to be standing in the parking lot it's not a number of years ago a good camp they meant well from people i think it's the last time they played how do they stay in their parking lot all of a sudden four buses come back and i said oh mom is my muzzle i'm here to greet the war veterans so they get off the bus i wasn't in vietnam but if i was that's what it looked like they had two guys getting off on crutches they had guys abandoned around that i kid you not i said what happened i said rebbe it says next time i can ask you for a bracha not a claw law is this it was a disaster i said it was mama's bed he said yeah we lost that that was really what was bothering him but of course they had well you can't if you fire from this range the paintball explodes this is if it's good and it hurts and i interview there's not one person who didn't admit to me after cross-examination that yes it hurts but don't worry rebbe it's only a short-term sting and the wealth goes down after a week or two nothing to worry about i said yeah except for the swinging baba comma about being critical of other people and yourself so on the one hand that's the only sport today the opposed to social distance and you could shoot from afar maybe this will bring back the sport because now we have a header if you really shoot from far but uh i think it's a serious problem and i think australia the whole excitement of shooting at people is not the first we were never good at war the problem with shoalam and i'm all like we're never good at this maybe sometimes we have to be sometimes not we're not good at this and we don't want to get good at this and one guy tried he said yeah but in case you ever need it i gotta know what i'm doing i said you're not gonna be handling a paintball rifle he says it's more or less the same i said that i agree with so we'll have to find a different sport to uh socially distance i think frisbee has to be brought back so if anybody knows what the rules are let me know keep up the good work and admits hashem we have to make ourselves other people and worry about the blackmail in front of us and we'll be we'll be okay thank you for listening okay okay that's that's it yeah once damn once okay so i guess we'll have to cancel the the great paintball game at the english tears annual daniel dinner though okay we'll have to find a different eight five one eight six five one or seven one eight eight five three three nine five or email to tape center at yeshiva net.com you should have one for coming for listening and for joining in figurehead [Music] foreign