Tisha B'av: Death of the Evil Inclination - Rabbi Benzion Shafier

[Music] I acknowledge I recognize as a truth this is solid it's here it exists gravity is real we don't question gravity we don't question heat rising there are 13 animam that are supposed to be to us immutable laws absolutely understood one of the an is the Mia will come even though we may delay nevertheless I will wait and this is one of the basics of our entire imuna system we say it over and over over in doing we say it in benching over and over we mention this fact Messiah msia msia and here's the question what does it mean what will life be like when Messiah comes now some of the things we're a little bit aware of the rambam tells us there'll be peace will all be in Earth Str all live in Israel Bas MD should be rebuilt but what will life be like for you and I what will our day-to-day 9 to5 what will our feelings be like what will we experience in that time and if you give me the typical kind of glassy eyed look like who knows who could know what what what I'm going to feel like when mashia comes I'd like to share with you one simple observation imagine you're on a street corner and it's February and you see a man shivering all dressed up with three large luggages three large suitcases and you say to them what are you doing I'm waiting for a cab why I'm going on a trip oh you're going on a trip where you going I don't know what do you mean you don't know I'm going on a trip where I don't know fellow what' you pack in the suitcases how do you know to take shorts or long pants the tropics or Siberia how do you know what to pack I don't know I'm going so I just I'm I'm here I'm ready obviously that never happened why because before you go on a trip if you're going to pack your suitcases you know where you're headed and you pack appropriately and if you haven't spent some serious time about thinking about what is going to be like what is life going to be like when mhia comes what will I feel what will my conversations be about what will my life be like if you haven't spent some serious time thinking about that then it's very difficult to say it's literally right there like gravity it's literally right there like heat rising so I'd like to spend a little time today on this exact issue what will it be like what will we experience what will we feel what will life be like when mashia comes and to shed some light on the subject let's begin with an interesting gamar the gamar Suka tells us L loo when Mia comes there'll be a tremendous tremendous eulogy family by family the entire world gathered crying bitter bitter tears the type of eulogy that a man says over his only son that dies that will be the tremendous tear drenching eulogy that will be said and the whole world will hear it and thear explains what is this eulogy about this eulogy is about theara about the suon because when mhia comes his job is over he's no longer in existence and it's a bitter bitter eulogy with tears pouring from everyone's cheeks ask the gor wait a minute if the is n if he's killed if he's destroyed if he's no longer in existence this should be a party people should be dancing in the streets what are you crying what are you saying a eulogy with tears what answers this is exactly what Ruda said in the days to come in will bring the in front of the and in front of the rim to the sikim thear will appear like a mighty mighty Mountain a powerful pillar a huge force and to the to the wicked people he'll appear like a thin thread of hair each group cries Sim cry because they say my goodness look at the size of that mountain how could we have been coish it how could we have conquered it how could we have ever withstood and they cry the cry because they see thear as a thin thin thread as a mere here and they cry bitter tears how did we fall prey to this little nothing and then thear explains that is theara it starts as a thin thread like a spiderweb but if you give in Time After Time After Time it grows thicker and thicker thread after thread after thread until you're tied to that chair with a rope that's so powerful that a cow couldn't break it and that's a gamorra and I'd like to analyze and see if we can understand from this gamorra what it's sharing with us and let's start with the following why other crying so if You' like to understand why the r crying I'd like to share with you an interesting story I was invited to speak at a I was invited for chabas to the minan shalu shabbaton what is a Manan shaanu it is in Lakewood a Organization for the Youth who are no longer at risk they're past that point and happens to be a phenomenal organization in the sense that they really really take care of these fellows and this was a shabbaton for the boys for the guys and I was invited to be the speaker and I was very very interested in being there because whatever I could do was my my honor my slot was shabas afternoon and you have to imagine these guys are not old we're talking about 15 16 years old the oldest maybe 17 and I had them in a room and basically for about 15 20 minutes maybe I gave them what I considered a rousing dramatic schoth and then I opened the floor to questions and the questions be came left right and Center every imaginable issue issue and if you ever listened to the you know that I don't shy away from issues and I dealt with them head on if you could imagine the gamut the full gamut every probably every corner every issue you could ever think of and then one of the fellas I think he was 15 years old asked the question that I could not answer but when I share with you what the question is you'll see it wasn't the philosophical depth of the question it wasn't the umus of the question I didn't have words in his language to answer the question the question was is it better to get high on marijuana or on Whiskey that was the question I'm going to get high am I better off getting high on alcohol or a marijuana happens to be there was a mentor in the room about 27 28 years old he had been through the same sort of Journey that these fellas had been through and I knew very well his history because we had spoken before and I asked him to answer this question I turned this question over to him and I said I want you to answer this question so he turns to these fellas and he says I'll tell you something alcoholism is a bitter bitter disease and when you're addicted to alcohol to get off it is horrific it's horrible but you should just know I'm involved with fellows all the time and I've gone to many many funerals in our community not a single one of them was from alcohol overdose every one of them was a drug related issue and I'll explain to you why alcohol is addictive but it takes a long time you have to drink an awful lot for a long time two years three years to really get addicted it's very unlikely that any of you fellas will do that but I'd also like to share sh with you and that it's easy as pie to get addicted to drugs it happened to me and then he went on to tell a few of the war stories that he had been directly involved in he describes a fellow who's so desperately craving drugs even though he can no longer get high he needs the drugs desperately needs the drugs but no longer enjoys anything from it and this meant that this fellow's called to this fellow's basement and he finds this young man 15 years years of age on the floor naked in a puddle of his own vomit and he describes the most terrific scene you could ever imagine one after another after another and then the final scene he describes that a 15-year-old boy told him that's it I hit bottom I got to get out you got to save me I have to go detox I got to go to rehab and this mentor said to him I would love to do that but here's the problem rule number one if you enter a re rehab facility you have to be sober they won't take you when you're high you have to be straight so they made a plan the last time he was going to get high was that afternoon the mentor was going to pick him up in the morning but then he'd be be out of his system and he was going to take him to detox going to take him to rehab okay this Mentor shows up in the morning and this boy Bo is high as a kite and the mentor didn't get it he's 15 years of age he doesn't have money he doesn't have a car how did he get that much drugs that he's so high I don't get it and he asked around and would you like to know the answer the boy started getting withdrawal symptoms that evening about 9:00 and when you start withdrawing you start trembling and shaking and your whole body body gots hot and cold and shivering and by 11:00 he was climbing out of his skin and he was going insane and he went to his mother and on his knees begged please Mommy please please please and he begged and he begged and he begged and a from woman living in Lakewood took her car took her son with her money drove him to buy drugs because she couldn't stand seeing the pain that he was in well after this Mentor was done telling these War Stories We had been together this group I and him for about two hours and I walked out of that room and I realized something we discussed a tremendous amount of issues about ashfa and mus why hasm created us and many many things I then walked to the bathroom closed the door began crying and couldn't stop crying would you like to know why because I knew it was only a question of how many of these young men's would be the next statistic the next funeral but you say what do you mean they heard it from the horse's mouth here was a guy who was addicted to drugs himself describing the agony describing the horrors how is it possible that any young man in that room would ever get involved in drugs how's it sh the answer really is quite simple I know when to stop I know where to go I know how to get high without getting stuck and everyone has an answer and everyone believes that they're smarter than the system and they not would you like to know the greatest cause of sin let's say I would ask you what is a single greatest cause of sin in mankind so people will give you a long list temptation honor desire money the love of money you get a long long list of things that are the cause of sin would you like to know what is actually the greatest cause of sin the greatest cause of sin is stupidity you see Hashem gave us every mitzvah for our benefit it helps me here and obviously helps me in the world to come every a every sin damages me here and certainly damages me in the world to come when you live a Torah lifestyle you're happy fulfilled you're living a beautiful life and any a that you're engaged in any a that you do brings you misery unhappiness and just ask somebody just ask somebody who got involved in whatever it may be two years after 3 years after tell me would you have head down this path again now that you're divorced now that your boss fired you now that whatever the consequence in a million years if I knew the pain that I'd have to suffer for it back then I never would have touched it I would have ran away I never would have been involved in this I never would have done this the single greatest cause of sin is stupidity would you like to know why the rash cry it's really quite simple when msia comes like the Sun at midday blazing strong every human being gets it every human being sees Hashem right here every human being Knows Why We were put on the planet every human being has wisdom and understanding mem the entire world is filled with knowledge of Hashem but everyone every Gentile every Jew from the lowest to the greatest everyone sees Hashem right here and in that Moment of clarity everyone also understands the value of every Mitzvah the danger the damage of every sin and what the rash see is what a fool I was look what I bought a tiny little thread it was nothing it was nothing ask a guy after he smoked his first cigarette how difficult is it to quit difficult nothing ask a fellow who's been smoking 10 years two packs a day how easy is it to quit very very difficult you'll meet many many many people today who are victims victims everyone is a victim most of the time they're victims of their own stupidity you acquired a habit you learned to do something you started a path you didn't realize it then you didn't perceive where you were headed but it was your choice and now it's true it'll take powerful powerful armies to extract you from what you've gotten yourself into and ladies and gentlemen this is not about drug abuse over here this is about habits the way we deal with people the way we think the way we act this is about us we create these habits we create these mindsets we create these perceptions and they Foster more and more and more of the same until we see the whole world that way and if I'm jealous jealous and more jealous and more jealous and I'm constantly needing more and more and if my temper is my issue it flares up once and again and again and again and afterwards I'm a victim I can't help myself and by the way it may be true if you've been losing your temper fiercely for a good number of years it would take shim haor to hold yourself back and you have to really really appla yourself you have to really follow a program you have to really really focus on it and if you really do it slowly slowly start starts to recede but until you do that it's true you're a victim a victim of your own stupidity and if you like to know why they sh cry it's because then when it's over when it's too late they get it I got divorced why because I was a jerk a selfish self centered L that's why I deal with couples all the time I never once never once heard a guy or woman say the reason I having trouble is because I'm self-centered I'm a brat I'm only interested in me never once uhhuh uh-huh I can't tell you how many times I said to my wife they're a match made in heaven they're made for each other living in gehm because they're destroying themselves and if you don't work on your issues you don't work on your stuff you'll walk away clean as a victim I married a shrew the guy I married was an abuser you ever any guy any single divorce case every guy is abusive and I'd like to share with you I've been involved in many such cases and it's true he's abusive and you know why because she flies on a broom at night and if you had to live with her believe me you'd do a lot more a guy in court read a letter from his son because the lawyer for the woman was accusing him of being controlling and abusive and raising his voice and screaming and yelling his mature son who was in Bas medish wrote a letter that the judge read in court it said it is true my father often raised his voice to my mother but I never once in all of my years heard my father raise his voice until she was screaming at him endlessly oh he's abusive oh but we don't see it we're victims all of us are neb poor victims and my parents brought me up wrong and my family did so bad to me and I suffer so much I'm NE a victim yep you are you are a victim as everyone else is a victim and you don't see it and you won't see it until that one moment of absolute brilliant Clarity when you'll get it I was a victim of stupidity I gave in I caved I didn't battle the battle didn't fight the fight and I blew it so I guess it's rather obvious why the rash cry but why do the sadik cry the sadik are the champions they're the ones who succeeded they reached the greatest levels they reached the greatest Heights they should be in their ultimate Glory dancing a jig why are they crying bitter tears and rashi's bothered by that question and Rashi says do you know why they cry because at that moment they also get a Moment of clarity they look back at their lifetime and they see the amount of SAR the amount of pain that the s that thear caused them and they remember it all they see all of the pain that he caused them their whole life and they began crying and crying bitter bitter tears because all of the memories come flooding back to them now if you think about that Rashi it should be rather difficult to understand why because if you are the sadic that means you caught the Atara before he got too far you caught him at cigarette one you caught him when it was just a thin little spiderweb you realized there's a danger you saw the end game you weren't a fool and you stopped him how much sorus could he cause you how much Sor could he cause you you stopped him right away you stopped him when he was just that little tiny thread how much trouble could that be would you like to know the answer to this question I grew up amongst children of Holocaust Survivors many of my friends if not most of them their parents either one had been in the camps sometimes two my father was born in Berlin thank God he didn't end in camps was in England during the War years but many many of my friends had Holocaust Survivors and I had a chance to see them know them personally and what they went through was Indescribable one fellow when he was 12 years old went away to another friend's house to sleep and he made a discovery what was his discovery that night he slept the whole night and the mother of the house didn't wake up screaming with nightmares he slept the whole night for the first time in his life because until that time every single night he would hear his mother screeching with the nightmares that woke him up he thought that all mommies do that it was only when he went to a friend of his house and wasn't woken up that he realized uhuh not all mommies do that so I'd like to share with you if you went through the Holocaust if you went through the camps you went through geham you went through an awful lot and I'd also like to share with you that having been in these homes very very close with a lot of these families I'd like to share with you that they were vastly happier than the people I see today these people who live through Indescribable Horrors and still had the scars had greater Sim more joy more enjoyment of life than the average person does today and I'd like to share with you one of the Great great anomalies one of the great pellas of Life today we enjoy greater wealth luxuries and opulence than any other generation there has never been a time in history when there's been this much available for the average man luxuries Pleasures wealth that Kings of yesterday year could not imagine if you take a king living 200 years ago 300 years ago and compare it to the average person today's life there's no comparison we enjoy far more we have every imaginable luxury we have tremendous tremendous wealth and if you compare our life to people living even 100 years ago you see we're wealthy Beyond comparison and yet there has never been a needier generation and there has never been a poorer generation and everyone needs and needs in needs and no one has enough money and you have to ask yourself the question I don't get it you have so much money you live in such beautiful homes you drive such nice cars so many racks and racks of clothing what in the world is your problem and I'd like to share with you what in the world is your problem today we are all so wealthy that anything that we actually need we would easily have no question about it a need is something that you need to survive if we actually needed something every one of us would have it and so you should quickly realize that marketing advertisement should be dead we're all so wealthy that anything we needed we'd already have so obviously whatever we need we have there's no more Marketplace there's no more Amazon there's no more best bu there's nothing you're done anything I have anything I need I have what in the world will all of these industries do so if you study advertising you'll understand exactly what they do advertising is not there to sell you something that you need if you needed it you would have it already advertising is there selling you the need you didn't even know about this you weren't even aware about this but now you need it now you have to have it your life is not complete until you get it and if you see it Time After Time after time you'll find an interesting phenomena there are new Styles there are new ways new approaches I need the next I need the next but it's not something that I want to have it's not an extra it's a Bonafide need and you may say isn't that ridiculous Rabbi come on that doesn't really work in the real world doesn't really happen to mature People Like Us I have four daughters one wife um I've never seen a woman yet who has enough clothes matter of fact I don't have a thing to wear I mean racks and racks of dresses and blouses I don't I don't have a thing to wear not a thing to wear okay my watch my watch wasn't good enough timx the timx very fancy watch you could get it also in Walmart for this one was better than the $39 one I was splurged I went to 49 it's a um you know why I splurge for this one CU I was a little jealous the guy next to me in SCH had a $220,000 watch $220,000 wo what does his watch do that mine doesn't is it more accurate uh-uh for $99 you can get a radio frequency watch that's tuned to Atomic time at granted Village that's accurate to the 100th of a second his how do you pronounce it whatever it is his $20,000 watch ain't accurate to the second well his watch must have more gizmos and gadgets wrong again my $29 time x had a chronograph that was accurate to the 100th of a second had a you know the stop buch of timers the what else did it do it told me how many minutes to put the microwave in of them cooking an egg anything but drive the car for me what in the world does his $20,000 watch do for him that mine doesn't it does one thing did you notice did you notice did you notice now I want to teach you some muser would you like to know how to identify the Rolex how do you know is it $18,000 or did he buy a knockoff on the street for a hundred bucks how do you know there's one way to tell watch the second hand if it jumps it's real if it's smooth moving it's a knockoff I got it $118,000 for the got it got it ladies and gentlemen I do something that most Americans do I wait and traffic but to me it's a source of tremendous inspiration and pleasure because I can't tell you how many times I'm on the wests side highway stuck Bumper to Bumper next to the Bentley the Jaguar 0 to 60 in3 seconds you're not doing zero to nothing the guy in front of you going to smash into he's stuck in traffic the same way I am and he doesn't drive on a racetrack folks and the Bentley that cost $250,000 and upwards does not do a single thing that my Toyota Camry doesn't do my Toyota Camry has stereo sound I have a graphic equalizer because it was standard equipment and I have air suspensions so I don't bounce around and I have every luxury that your Bentley has I got it but my car is paid off oh paid off you paid off paid off paid off I own it I own and I didn't go into H oh my God GNA pay the P by the way if you ever want a little muser just just try this little trick at home watch the car as it pulls out of the showroom and make it the Jag or the Bentley or whatever it may be or make it I don't care what your your whatever you're into and just know that as he crosses over that little driveway you know from the inside the showroom to outside the showroom he just lost $7,000 just like that the car went from brand new to used Seven Grand but don't worry about it because every minute that it's sitting in his driveway it's ticking down it course roughly a BMW um the seven class course I once did the math the bmw7 class loses value $5,000 a year if you do the math and you realize what it's costing you per hour to own the darn thing you wouldn't sleep so why in the world do people do this why did you buy it because it's status it's Prestige was sold a bill of goods and the only reason I focus on this is because this is easy to see would you like to look around and see how much time people spend on the most destructive self-damaging thinking everything from I'm a loser and I'm worthless and people get into all types of patterns of thinking that literally destroys themselves and often time again they can't help it often time they can't prevent it but they get into these patterns and they get into these thought processes and unfortunately I deal with a lot of people who have surus who have trouble who have problems and if I would share with you what it's like to be inside the mind of a person who's suffering anxiety how about a guy who can't doin and Shool because he doesn't know where to put himself I'm too close to this guy too close to that guy too close to the helmet Too Close how about anxiety that doesn't allow you to get out of bed in the morning because you're afraid of everything and anything how about OCD OCD is a horrific horrible disease you ever speak to someone with depression you ever speak to someone with issues troubles problems my friends if you look around the people we live amongst you will see so much destructive thinking so many damaged UNH wholesome people so much trouble that they're suffering with and I'd like to share with you one simple observation I don't think often time it's curable instantly but one thing I guarantee when mashia comes all of those issues disappear you see anxiety doesn't exist because I see Hashem right here I get it I understand it fears troubles worries dissipate all of the problems that I had I don't make enough money I need more I just don't make enough you're making $200,000 a year it's not enough you know why because I need more and more and more mash comes the entire world gets it we wake up we understand the purpose of creation understand why we're here and all of those values that people considered so important so significant becomes completely irrelevant every human being on the face of the planet will be filled with one desire to be close to Hashem to reach EMS to grow and if you'd like to understand what will change everything will change but if you'd like to understand why the sikim cry it's because at that moment in time they look back and see that which we could never see they see the pervasiveness of troubles and issues and worries and a sudden constantly they bothering them and troubling them and trying to get them to slip up and trip up and if you ever speak to a person who has issues and problems you'll see it's unending but folks all of us have issues and problems all of us have things going on in our own mind in our own family in our own psyche and we don't see it we don't realize it whether it's I need more money or I need more honor whether it's I need this type of woman I need this type of man I'm not happy because of this I'm not happy because of that do you know that every human being I know has an ending to the sentence you ready for the sentence I'll be happy when I'll be happy when and everyone I've ever met fills in that sentence with something usually a material object I'll be happy when I'm rich I'll be happy when I get get the big mansion I'll be happy when I get the corner office I'll be happy when my wife stops nagging me already white bread brown bread who cares what difference does it make stay I'll not St leave me alone woman and every human being has an ending to that sentence and the problem is that we believe it we buy into it and if you listen to the tapes in our brains we're all victims we're all suffering and we do suffer but the suffering is such foolishness what the sadim realized at that moment is they get it they see how much the suton was on the scene 24/7 364 attempting to ruin their lives and rosai my friends listen to what I'm saying these are theik I don't know if we're in that group I hope we're at least in amongst the bonm talking about the great of the great at that moment of time they look back on their lives and they see the amount of torture and trouble that the suan was giving them on a daily basis and they cry bitter tears how much more so us we don't see it now what do you mean I'm I'm living life things are good I'm okay I make a living and things all right I'm not not bothered by OCD and anxiety depression I don't got those things Rabbi I don't know what you're talking about first of all many do but if you don't and your daughter isn't anorexic what she's not bloomi and she's not on anti-depressants and your wife isn't suicidal let's even say that's true and let's even say you're happy I'd like to share with you you don't know what happiness is about two weeks ago I walked into one of the most beautiful homes I've ever seen Muny has big large beautiful homes this one outclass it was gorgeous set back on a hill really way way up there the property itself was huge a full basketball court on the property next to the full I mean full full court I mean two baskets next to that was a volleyball court next to that was the pool and in the center is this policial manner I mean it's gorgeous and you walk in and you see Florida ceiling straight up and the house was huge and no expense was spared you walk into the kitchen it's a kitchen I know women say a kitchen to die for I don't think kitchens were dying for but right whatever okay there was a kitchen to die for and better yet the basement was the full size of the house high ceiling all opened up with a sports equipment you had all the weightlifting and the Nautilus there was a sauna in the basement a sauna this doesn't get better anyway the person who opened the door was a young man I don't know 20 21 22 maybe and he opened the door and he let me in and as I'm walking around this gorgeous gorgeous house I can't help but comment at a certain point wow this place is gorgeous and he says to me I guess it does the job what this is the most gorgeous home they don't in Hollywood they don't have these kind of houses this is what are you talking about would you like to know what he was talking about it's really very simple after rehab you got to go to a sober house you can't yet go into the regular Society because likely you'll be triggered and you'll end the back on drugs so someone very generously set aside a house paid the rent for it a gorgeous house and set it up as a sober house and there are 12 young men living in it all from by the way and they live in this gorgeous house and you'll open the refrigerator stock with the the most delicious food you can imagine and it's it's an incredible setup they have a fireplace in the back what could be better how could the guy not be having a good time the answer is very simple when you come out of rehab you are so burnt out you are so focused on just one thing getting my life back not being a slave not falling back into that same trap and you're so burnt out and so focused on something called existence that you cannot enjoy the palacial manner nor the basketball court nor the pool nor the volleyball cuz you're just barely living most people I know are just barely living how many people do you know who eat their food and actually enjoy it who can tell you what it tastes like who can really focus on and I'm busy I'm running I'm doing if you actually sit down to eat a meal how many people actually are awake alert and enjoying life and I'd like to share with you one very very important observation life as you see it today is not the way it's supposed to be life as we experience it today is not the way Hashem wanted it to be for whatever which reason and it's not time to get into the philosophical pieces of it but the bottom line is we are in gullas we are in Exile and that doesn't mean a foreign land it means a foreign way of life a foreign way of thinking we are so lost in this long bitter gulus that we forgot what it means to be a Jew we forgot what it means to be a human being we forgot what happiness means we forgot what fulfillment means and if you're not sure that I'm right just look about the world the amount of unrest and I mean divorce and mental illness and so many problems and issues and troubles and all of it wasn't supposed to be Hashem created the human for one reason because Hashem is a mative Hashem is a giver and Hashem made a glorious beautiful world with colors and Aromas textures smell a flower one day and say to yourself I get it Hashem designed that for one reason so we should enjoy it bite into an apple and say I get it Hashem made the cellular worlds brittle so I should break into it she get that Crunch and that flavor and that taste and when you study this world you'll see so many features that hasem put in the world for us to enjoy so why don't we enjoy it the answer is with dead on the inside the Y it says when we return to when we return to comes will be like dreamers he says you know what that means when you're asleep you're sound asleep he says we are 160th alive today our joy isn't Joy our happiness isn't happiness the food that we eat the smells that we smell the existence that we are involved in is not life it's barely just existed and that's assuming that you don't have a Twitter account that you don't have Facebook that you're not spending your life glued to your palm glued to your Palm everyone today is so busy I can't reach a single human being I cannot call a single human being and get them on the phone now I know they want to talk to me because when they call oh ra I'm sorry I missed the call so why don't you answer it well very busy yeah I'm very impressed with what you're busy with and today people are busier than ever on the face of the planet doing what oh updating my Facebook page watching to see whether oh wow you had ra and oatmeal before you went to the gym wow I really like to know that thank you thank you for sharing that thank no very important things know Facebook allows you to really be in other people's lives and really be a part of them would you like to know what Facebook allows you to do Rashi says and on is a poor person if you're going to be exposed to 1,500 media messages a day which the average US citizen is500 advertisements a day that explain to you what you need what you need what you need what you need guess what you're going to be hungry you're going to need more never be satisfied need the next need the next and what you have won't bring you any Joy but that's an un that's a poor person Rashi explains that there's something called an evion an evion is worse than an un you see an H has things he can own a home he might have clothing he doesn't have money but he's got lots of stuff an Evon is destitute someone who has nothing zero no money no home no car no clothes destitute down and out would you like to know what happens if you spend just enough time on social media you ever notice that the Selfies are always smiling ah here I am in Disney with my beautiful kids all behaving so well here I am finishing Chas here I am here everyone on Facebook everyone in social media only posts these smiling pictures of their successful life and things going wonderful and you look at this one and that one and that one and that one and that one and you realize my life stinks he's in Disneyland and I got to be at work she's doing this and I can't oh my go my life stinks and it's not enough that you're being bombarded by, 1500 advertising messages a day telling you how much you need you spend hour after hour inundated by messages and visions of what you could be what should be how happy you should be how happy you're not and guess what you're going to be miserable my friends we don't understand it we don't recognize we don't even see it but every once in a while it's important to open your eyes and say the words I get it life as we're leading it now is not the way it's supposed to be human beings are supposed to have a joy happiness there's supposed to be a tremendous fulfillment I'm supposed to be satisfied with what I have satisfied with my house happy with my car happy with my spouse that creep that bum how many women just this week I had a woman I can be happy with him you know on she goes yeah then you find out that she made him all of those things and when he wasn't all of those creepy things that she described she also didn't like him oh see my friends what I'm sharing with you is a fundamental concept you're supposed to open the newspapers and say what I'm looking at is abnormal what I'm looking at is deviant is decadent is destructive you're supposed to look and see a human race in utter misery and you're supposed to to say I get it that's why we need mhia you see mhia comes every human being understands the purpose of life every human being understands I'm here to grow and there's a huge huge deep satisfaction from exactly that I see Hashem here I recognize the value of my accomplishments and is a joy an inner glow Wow Let's accomplish let's do a fellow called me up this week with a a very difficult predicament very very difficult Shiloh he's making a bar mitz for his son and he invited a couple and the couple the wife says she's only coming if she brings her son her son's about six or seven years old what's the problem bring this some what's a big deal well when this boy was one years old now again they're Orthodox just let's get perspective over here from couple when this boy was one years old the woman decided that it's clear that he is a she and since he is a she trapped in a he's body the mother has been doing everything since one to allow she to come out flurries and bows and dresses and everything and they want to bring the boy whatever it to the bar mitzvah and he it is six years old now and the wife of the person who's making the B mitzah said I don't want that at my son's B Mitzvah what do I do Rabbi what do I do do you hear what I'm saying it has gone so far far off that people within the all right anyway listen my point really is a very simple one you're supposed to at some point wake up and get it at some point you're supposed to wake up and realize that life as we're leading it now is not the way it's supposed to be life as we're leading it in this mad rush of doing and acquiring and running and just nothing nothing in nothing in being focused isn't the way hasem wants it should you work yes but more than anything you should realize iiz that we're not going to stop it we're not going to change it there's only one hope and that is we D to hasem end it enough we've been here almost 2,000 years it's so long that we forgot what humanity is supposed to look like we forgot what life is supposed to look like Hashem please end it let us get out let us leave and let us be free I think what this gar is sharing with us is a fundamental principle when Hashem finally brings mhia the entire world will gather and the be a hesit a bitter bit of eulogy everyone gathered and everyone there crying the sadim cry because they see this powerful powerful Mountain they remember as Rashi explains the amount of pain trouble worries and issues that that Su caused them during their lifetime and because of that they cry bitter bitter tears the cry as well but for a very different reason they see the thin thread when the Yahara first comes to to you the first time he offers you whatever it is could you resisted easily could you have said no wouldn't have been a problem but you didn't and time after time it became more habitual it became more of your nature and before you know it you're tied up with a rope to that chair you can't escape but in that blazing Moment of clarity the r get it they understand with absolute Clarity how much they fell pray they ruined their life they ruined their life and ask anyone who's in involved in any sort of habit how happy they are they're not and that's when they realize it and I want to end with one last thought you know what the Mas says the Mas says I can't agree with rashi's version it can't be that the sadik can cry because they remember the pain because it doesn't make sense maybe they could feel some Agony but it can't possibly be that they cry because then they remember all their me memories and you know how the Mas learns this gamar the Mas says the sadim cry because they realize that they lost their best friend at that moment of understanding they realize the importance of the Y Sahara they realize its significance and they begin crying bitter bitter tears why because their best friend is gone and you know what the Mas is saying the sutan has given one job in life to challenge you to demand of you to push you just a little bit more kind of like a coach who knows exactly your limits knows exactly what you can lift knows exactly how far you can go and he's always pushing you a little bit more a little bit more a little bit more and you ever noticed that just when one issue in life got settled and taken care of suddenly something else happens and just when that issue gets settled suddenly it's one thing after another after another it's not by accident it's not coincidence but we don't get it we look at these troubles and these challenges and what we don't realize is that that's what makes us into what we are but the sadim at that moment says the Mas is a Clarity an understanding their best friend in the world the Sutton whose job it was to push them a little bit more challenge them a little bit more yes there was pain yes there was things they had to go through but they Now understand that who they are for eternity was largely shaped by that person hasem that this should be the final final last dish above when the G come immedately