To Show Up In Life with Full Presence - Torah Or "Vayehi Miketz" #2

the yeshiva dotnet so there are two forms we learned are two forms of Yaya Yaya nama Sameach and the iron hammer shocker the first section we focused the ballot on you focused on the Ayanami Sameach then he moved on to yama shocker yeah anima Sameach both are symbolic I should say they're used as symbols as metaphors because we know that there's one type of wine right it's it's just how you drink it there's wine that's people drink in order to get drunk there's wine that people drink in order to for simcha it seems I'm getting drunk are two separate things getting drunk means getting distracted from yourself simcha means getting more in touch with yourself so it's actually two opposite things which we'll see simcha means to get in touch with your true self Chikara s-- means your self is too painful to be with so therefore you want to get over yourself or you want to go out of yourself I shouldn't say not over you want to go out of yourself you want to lose yourself you want to lose yourself because to be you it's very painful it's full of anxiety so you want to numb the pain and by getting drunk and inebriated it's easier to deal with the burden of loneliness or the burden of existential angst or whatever the pain and agony is deeper or more superficial so generally I in I'm a shocker when we say Yana gets drunk his wine that takes you out of yourself makes you less alert makes you less aware makes you less conscious now on some level it's a freeing experience because you know you're not that self-aware you're not self-conscious when people are drunk they say things that they wouldn't say otherwise they're less inhibited but the concept is very different than I and I Miss America spiritually therefore he's making this distinction in between two types of drinking the ID and i'ma Sameach represent as a soul is a grape and inside the grave there's wine which means there's an infinite possibility of our visage m and silica bash em that every single Jew has within him a tremendous love and relationship with Hashem which is an inheritance and the ability to be able to celebrate with our sham but it may be concealed and therefore one needs tools to be able to extract the wine from the grape and others to be able to around the hava and the simcha that is concealed in the grape and even if a person lives a pure and wholesome life but there are always layers what he calls our law that eclipses the depth of the love and the emotion and therefore you need the saramakan everybody needs a butler and the butler is the one who will ultimately bring the wine to pirate who is the butler the butler the man who dreams about taking the grapes squeezing them out and bringing forth the wine from the grapes and delivering the wine to the hands the ethene Asarco al-kahf pirate delivering the wine to the hands of pirate which here it spiritually Pyrrha is tria do you through the revelation the pure revelation of godliness of the soul of the person you meet you're sorry I'm asking the one who is responsible for that which is also associated with the coil mark Ivana the voice that arouses qivana associated with the market with the with the windpipe and the lungs etc then you have yeah and I'm gonna shock a guy Animus Sameach basically your focus is to get out the inner love and the inner joy that is there you know that it's there you can identify it you know what's blocking it you just have to get there looks like I'm making wine I know where the wine is I just have to do the work I take the grapes I smash the grapes and crush the grapes trying to have one but I know that there's wine I know where the wine is I know what I need to do to get the wine that's the process that's the I anima Sameach it's the meditation is the his Biman knows it's the tree law it's the colonel my rock Ivana it's what he spoke before about the is the synthesis of you say Tamiya Minnesota H together with the acai taurua linking the mind in the heart to bring out the wine from the grapes but then he says there's another life and the other life is a much more fragmented life are more broken life or the way we explained it is it's not the person who who even knows how to doubt it it's not the person who can experience a dominating and what their feeling is they're just celebrating their relationship with Hashem they're not they're not there yet they're not there there's so many my shove is that I'm available them they're so filled with with toxicity and thoughts and it's always about thoughts more thoughts and more thoughts and more thoughts they can't even enter into a relationship they can't even be there they can't be present but too overwhelmed by life they're too overwhelmed by stress at to overwhelmed by whatever that was whatever is overwhelming that the stress across the addiction the whatever every call cup everybody according to their life story here the issue is far more dramatic when we sing that for these people for example he was an emergency creation while Amita everybody's mystery as well being able to be with high Schmucker even the person who is speaking down into whatever on the sometimes of symbols they may be I'm a caution them to revolve like we said you know they're evolved that the state crime beat alright she says why did might ever say a shaman uber god no every day he says I knew that reason every day he gets up and makes all the come welcome to sing all the confessions and he says that that the more spiritual a person is the more he feels connected with everybody else so therefore their life story affects him also the Jewish people are like one body that's why you say a shamble in the plural really confession should be in the singular you don't come and say we sin we stole we betray you say I the first correct was it for confession this personal responsibility and accountability somebody comes in to you and says oh we slammed in you we back step you can happen who's the week me and my family and my tribe and my nation I so the prime week I'll bring so that is a shaman rule because the Africans does the integration the synergy that comes together from Claudia stone call Isola rhythms episode so our lives you know affect each other unconscious way and conscious ways and even more perhaps in unconscious ways so kolcaba from sugar delay so here there's a second type of wine which is Yana moussaka now literally I in Amma chakra means wine that gets you drunk here is using the idea when Schlemmer MELAS says initially new shaker live in nefesh new shaker live in the I in the money in effigy used to be integration literally its translate give liquor to a lost soul give liquor to a lost person give wine too bitter souls let him drink and forget gracious forget his pain forget exactly it's like people will say you know this you had a hard week just get stoned that's what it seems like the pasa cos say your annoy in your mind net fresh stuff 1511 I've been to the lab and here they say there was once a jewel went to a bar like all the jokes so where he's sitting there and he's minding his own business and his drinking Cup after Cup after Cup in Optima could numb a little anxiety I guess a lot of anxiety and so this fellow this muscular big strong fellow comes over and grabs the colonists and this downs it and the Jew is hysterically scrying in it the dices relax relax buy you another cup what's the big deal relax he's crying what are you crying for she says you don't understand my life is miserable and I decided after years then I want to kill myself and finally finally I got the courage to get poison and to come into the car put it into this drink a cookie so now the guy went to cry you know so so my mother says let him drink used to be a super fish and you have it in her locker will you have it in a locker at Moscone that Moscone Hruby bears the mask and I said coach I enjoyed them I missed the dishes that are Eve dyed yellow so literally it means you don't want the person to have the pain of death so you have them drunk that's Adam Morrison Adam gimel based on used to be integration this is all in gaseous but here he wants to describe it spiritually as an Indian an avoider Sasha that sometimes a person needs yeah and I'm a shocker in other words here the idea is Gangnam a Shaka represents I'm not ready yet for a relationship because there's too many things that distract me there's too many things that sit on me and I may not even know it and this is a very important idea if somebody's walking around with a washing machine on their head or on their shoulders one I should say one washing machine on the right shoulder one washing machine on the left shoulder but you never knew what it means to walk around without a washing machine because as a kid you won't fit on the both of these launches so therefore that is life you don't even know what that mother experience of life is so the person is so burdened by life's experiences over I should say not but when that born my life is when we're bored we were burdened by our thoughts about life's experience as always but they're so burdened by their perception of their life experience or by their reality that they could never they never have the mental space resorb and they have a mement of mental space to give and they don't have the mental space to be in a real relationship because to be in a real relationship means you have to be fully present but to be fully present it means that you have to be able to be right here in the moment relationship she says the Nikodim dominating is to really dance to celebrate with hashem with tremendous Sinhalese muhammad phyllis i but if I'm distracted I can't be Samara with anybody I do I go through the motions I could come to a house and I could dance five times say Mazel Tov give a kiss leave a check that's the main thing and go home so I went through the motions we're not talking about it we're talking about full presence full mental full emotional full psychological and spiritual presence you know people who could be fully present you don't know anybody it's not so easy to be present because there's always something going on and I'm not talking on what's going on consciously what's even more going on is what you don't know that's going on it's just forever going on it's going on since you two it's just always there and it's it's it's it's in a very very profound place so we we're all survivors you know we learn to survive we learn to navigate the hikes of life we do that and some of us do it very skillfully and successfully and some of us even do it with charm and some of us do it with successful and eloquent social skills so we do it some of us do it well but there's nothing to do with full presence the Ayanami shock here therefore is the wine that can try to move that away to move all that away chatot or if die tail off let the person who has an issue with skill astray Ferrara Clement as we explained the heart is full of stone and so forth when I'm in that state that my heart is stone you tell the person start diverting and half simply they don't even know what you're talking about and when they do try to do it it just intensifies even more the problem because it's coming from a space of that distraction of guilt when it comes from a space of guilt you never reach that space it's just another burden now that burden is B but some have never heard somebody tell that to you be happy so that becomes our new burden now I have to be happy so I'm even more miserable but of course I'm happy about my misery or a miserable if I might happen it becomes another exercise now to me why aren't you happy why I do your boyish little wants you to be happy okay I'm happy I'm so miserable then I'll tell you I'm happy else it doesn't really mean anything I'll smile so okay we smile at the photographer says smile if I'm not ready to go into a deeper place I can't experience it because there's too much going on there's so much static this is this is the CIA now he's going to describe what this is what is this process that we even talking about fascinatingly an elite courtier Zohar which is going to ask a question on the ZOA which the question itself is very telling just ask this question under Zion and then give a whole different interpretation to the Zion which i think is very humbling just simply to see how a person reads a line and nobody would even think to even interpret it that way so this is the next thing and the line starts with shameless you see lemon olive column one and what is it page 61 right Robert Alif column one and the line is blameless okay Bush Lane was used to finish close yeah in her now Mahajan let's explain this he said the last line I'm just gonna be the one before this ic8 saw you hood sister you'll hold a couple of dollars missus based if Ashley misused to cleanness cosine a now you want to get rid of the condition that well it was a miracle mrs. Benson he doesn't you should kill yourself for ways in other words you want to accept on yourself the Dollard ministers which means you want to cleanse yourself from the four conditions that created a situation where your heart is full of stone or your body and your soul is full of addiction full of passionate passionate cravings that are very distracting to you or Herrick meaning beheaded your mind is detached from your body there's no connection between your mind the brain and the body which is what beheading means and hemic strangulation in Herrick the mind is gone and in hemic the passageway between the mind and the heart is gone so somebody wants to cleanse himself from the situation so in use the premise Christiana so schleimann malik says you're a bitter soul you need a drink what's this drink in D&D Nagisa this article - it says and so you are the society fresh off because I feel like a Loftus British - my euchre the first volume ratio he needs a bizarre Erica - Sequoia shite so it means shaitan our makers truth truths a colleague shows people of truth tsadikim are Sequoia in their privilege why they privilege because Collier mm is starkly Ben if enough shall you kill who um Emma stalking my arm every day they look at themselves as though this is their last day that's how they look at them how does everybody learn this ayah basically they don't get drunk on anything they always ask themselves maybe this is the last day or as the Gemara says a breakfast Y ask you like your mom is right if somebody can't deal with the eights already asked you me I'm a moose that's preposterous in other words they have a certain sobriety or sensitivity to the fact that this may be the last day of their life and therefore they live it in a certain way that's what literally desired is saying call your mom is fact we've enough char you or as the Mishna says show very masculine in this awesome right dude sugar one day before you pass on so the gomorrah says they asked the time' how do you know when that is he says that's exactly the point sure yeah messin with my sauce for the soybean in movin this doesn't make sense why what's the problem he's a quarry him said Dickon generally enjoy when it says it's a qoyi those wires are cut member first set the hook shite and yo super Milo yang you say he's a colleague sites it's talking about those who are both Sakai Hank site is even tsadikim of a higher level they shiver ice of the my lists of Madre Gus us finish LaVon and yet the literal interpretation of the sir the way them afar sham learning is that every day they imagine this is their last day and if they're gonna have to face God and face the alternative Alam halfa or otherwise and therefore they behave she sets the whole swath of a real psychic is your song English he's just afraid of punishment that's it it is in other words that I might die today and the game is over and I'm gonna have to face God and be accountable for everything and if I don't behave the consequences may not be rosy and therefore they behave every single day okay it's a very nice thing but he says it would seem that Sequoyah choice are motivated by more than just URIs Hainish this fear of punishment which will happen in the next world and therefore they have to imagine that here today I'm going to stand by the best-in-show my looks are either there's more to the table than just your sorriness which seems to me a lot which seems to be a lower rung in the spiritual and emotional development of a human being Aloha in y'know abstract desire is it completely different Sawyer is not saying they treat every day as the last day in other words thinking about you're gonna have to you know be accountable and there may be some serious consequence and that therefore don't do any stupid things that's not the right the variety is something else or in you know okay I feel it sounded comic I look like a Natan even a complete sound that when he goes to go Natan sort of velar been a hard dinner cuz I'll tell us moussaka Aggie games are hard even outside the coast again Aiden needs to go to the mikveh first the name of this milkovo is not hard DeNooyer the river of dinner dinner in aramaic as fire norris fire remember hot Katya Nora now hardly nor is the river dinner of Nora fire that sabic must go into a mikvah why we talk about it's either Gummer so he's not coming I understand why some people need a mikvah but look I did he stories gonna take I made and he stolen is a mikvah what is it that Villa Harvard Claire hazard to miss aha along the till is to remove the memories of this world that will distract his experience KEF surely Russian economy begun maiden calls mantras are full of mixed system this minion a Lamaze the person will not be able to inherit will not be able to dwell to own to really own inherit his spacing an AV as long as he remembers even a mixes the mixes of a young Marilyn Hassan as long as he still remembers in other words he's still attached to the experiences that he had in this world he will not be able to fully experience GaN Eden because he will be pulled in a different direction he won't be able to be fully present in the tank Charlie was Messiah will come in a traditional function with the shoppers wish about that Yahweh called muscle is last whistle phone I have a diamond when the Navi says oh you mean the hydrogen be the sharpest Bishop after every month enemy choppers all flesh come to bow down before God which in Syria Kabbalah in Zion is referred to Dalia sin that made in every Shabbos everywhere English neshama single a dinar also on a journey a very dramatic journey every shop is Dinis numbers go to a different place every Rosh Chodesh they go to a different place so this perpetual will at least the yard site the yard set is especially or the new summer that's why this condition that these are times of transition within the soul itself wherever it is in the Navy so each time Yahweh sorry Phillip and I didn't or after he needs a new McMahon a new river why the sky yeah gamma saga see his Sigma got made not Paxton value now he doesn't have to forget any longhouse anymore now he's already been in a maiden for a thousand years but you know what if he wants to go to a new space in a maiden he has to forget the old space if he if he still attached to the house augur to the comprehend that he had enemies not past then and he one hour wants to go to the maiden Alan if I'm gonna work or even if he's in a made million but he wants to go to another guy make now in a higher space the memories of the previous granadan will obstruct and distract his ability to be able to settle and inherit the new space in domain so between every alien between every major transition there's a need for a new mikvah what's the concept of civility Fela is a person goes on the water and if they remain in that state they can't live anymore because they don't have the oxygen that they need in other words it's not the death but it's a semi form of that it's a forum where I completely go into a space where I can't live anymore and then I come out of them encourage me if I'm supposed to stay in the middle under water but even if you have I here right we know the Dynamo hot seat so a woman goes to a mikvah lockers of mikvah even a small here a little hot seats and the fingernail what's the big day here outside of the middle so one fingernail did we would have didn't go into and the shock is is that if it's not the totality if it doesn't affect the totality of the person it's not like the child in the amniotic sac where there's no hair sticking out the whole child is in the water in the mother's womb no the whole person spiritually speaking the Tavella Villa which by the way the minimal tiniest son writes is the same letters like hospital hey base your tests lammott same concept is the neshamah going completely submerging into this mikvah which allows it to assume its new space not only from my la maza in orlimar but even another map itself different ahsoka made there's no gosh mist in other words that forgetfulness the forgetting air is not forgetting something bad evil negative it was divine ZBrush Tina this is the summer was an enigma Paxton for who knows how long can a Denali definition summers that aren't a maiden for thousands of years and they're not bored it's hard to know what do they do there let's say there's no Trump there's no Hillary what do they do this well Hashem himself is ain't safe the divine is infinite so therefore the more you grow the more frustrated you are always and the more you grow the more curious you become when you're dealing with something finite so the more you get the more you reach your goal okay I'm almost done when you this when you're dealing was on the infinite the more you have the more thirsty you become of course and not only that the frustration is much deeper because you booked the more acute the more you become aware of infinity the more you realize how much you don't know and you realize that the lack of knowledge is essential it's it's an inherent ignorance I wouldn't use the word perfect I wouldn't use the word he uses Ailish skaia let's to forget one let me explain what this means what why why do you have to forget something don't we think it's good to remember people come to the background forgetting things it's not a compliment to forget right we always people what is come when you start forgetting things a senior moment when Reagan President Reagan got Alzheimer's so he sat right they said that he said life is wonderful I keep on meeting new people every day [Music] generally memory is as a gift there was an old woman who once gets up and she says you know when you get old two things happen the first thing is you lose your memory and the second thing I don't remember Messiah to remember is a good thing remember memory and a lot of therapists one of their big things is take people down memory lane it's not so funny always they want you they want you to remember and remember and remember and if you don't remember everything is not good remember what happened then remember what happened then - right right but there's a demand Bob would see it the governor says about Mitzi dams ada cut olala out of these draw your sieve but our boy in town ASA or one gear Sameach time this cerca de leche kaya Talmud Bavli the booze ada was making alia from bubble tea too strong so he fasted 40 or a hundred fasting should forget Talmud Bavli so you should learn Tamil Tamil yourself now imagine somebody tells you he went to me for my shots of 25 years he knows the whole job Tom with mouth Malini and now he's going to tell you your salvation enough you got to forget everything you must the other way around the more you know the more you build on it it's like a foundation you don't say get rid of first thousand floors so we could build the next floor the contrary you build on it literally push it practically you have all this knowledge so now you can appreciate context the references sources cross-referencing there's more yep I'm a potions why would the dibs a too fast a hundred faster forget Tom with Marvel ok that item wonder cloud is a mission I should say if the definition also is it's not a question to think the laughs it's a separating it's a separate suit yet but but AHA we have to understand what's the Union the praça is we shouldn't forget things I mean we will but it's generally a person of course you don't try to forget something but that's only if you don't have to make a transformative leap from one space into a space that is completely beyond when the transition is relative then you build on the former when it's transition the transformation is a quantum leap then the former experience obstructs the new experience it simply disturbs the new experience I'll give you a very practical example if you're listening to somebody say something the general tendency especially by jusers to fit it into everything they know I told you once but one of the worst compliments I can get this I finish a shear sometimes and somebody tells it reminded me of that which I heard a few years ago or that which I read here with that which I thought about the same thing on Chavez ok from his perspective give all that he's bringing Araya he's connecting it Ansel but then I realized either I didn't say that then I didn't say it well he didn't understand it well because this has nothing to do with what he read and what he learned to money so with all due respect to what he read and what he liked and what he saw but it's very hard for somebody to hear a new thing it's scary to hear a new thing I don't want to hear new things huh we like to hit new Fairclough we don't like to hear new ideas we like to hear another septal that confirms everything I believe that it affirms everything I'm comfortable with right an idea that is contrary to every anything how you saw things that's scary that I reject therefore if I hear something I'll rather way put them into the this fits with that this fits with that this fits with that in other words I'm never listening to anything never Jews don't listen to anything trust me I don't listen what am i doing I'm working very hard overtime to make sure that it doesn't threaten me that's what I do that's really and if it does I say he's a machinima or even better he's an epic iris and then you're done fine if he's an epic honest I don't have to deal with it and it is a Michigan of the deal with children are the only ones who listen that's why they remember everything because they actually listen adults usually stop listening at some point we don't listen anymore we just don't have them we heard everything we don't listen what we listen to is yeah either if it makes it confirms but if it's a little challenge will force it to to confront therefore if I want relative growth you don't forget whenever there is a need for real transformation I have to be able to let go of everything because if I don't let go of everything that is gonna hold me back from experiencing a new paradigm how do you let go of everything now when we learn town with boundary time with you to show me trust me you shouldn't forget Tom before you start telling yourself how many roshani is a different type of learning my gosh Ben what are you talking about what take out of Tommy Tommy I learned it's I miss them it's on your mother cuz we learn already we learned data we don't learn existential truth so we learned good Martha we're not really learning the Gemara well learning the prescription of the doctor you understand every slaughtering tomorrow is based on philosophical psychological and spiritual paradigms what they give us is the last trickle it's the final final part the tonight minami Ryan they had a way that they looked at the world they had you sizes that were very very deep on every level philosophical spiritual psychological emotional social and therefore how logically go and so forth Bashar might be similar to bacterial fish Lord abusive ship manipulative man Rob small a buyer of sloppy attribution of robbery abusive but this is beyond the text this is the soul of the text and the soul of the text itself is layer upon layer upon layer tamo-guna xiaomi was a whole different existence it's a different paradigm well the time uses time with Bob Lee's oh gosh oh how many times are you sure Tommy Tommy is a straight guy common boundaries a light that bounces back it's a light that comes from struggle the demurrer says the madam son hadn't come down on the matter shockingly shivani near me I know he says in a cup my shock and my Shyvana you put me in darkness the bigger mother is a cow Moo - Oh bother Talmud Bavli is called darkness here we are navi is lamenting in asia that we're going from register all to iraqi the bubble were being introduced to town without being seduced to the world of darkness Tom with Bob Lee the world of darkness and yet a logic abhava Lee not like your Asami why because if you don't work through darkness you can get to the light but it's a different type of paradigm it's a different modality and then modality of Bob Lee would not have loud as a de to experience familiar song it would not you have to forget it yet didn't doesn't mean you have to forget the facts that's why it doesn't mean you have to forget with the mid with the Denver you have to forget the Maharaja nefesh they explained the experience of common boundary the same is true in a person's life whenever a person is looking to make a true whenever a person is expected to go through a profound transformation if they still retain a little bit of the old self for safety reasons it works for safety but it does not work for growth real growth requires complete obliteration which is always scary because when I jump fall off the roof I don't know that the mattress is there to catch me so I always hold on to something just in case but the paradox is that if I don't jump the mattress can't come out I mean emotionally I mean the physically jump so this is example of the seed you take a seat a seed of an apple tree a seat of an apple you plant it in the in the ground an apple trees not going to grow B for the seat completely decomposes and rots the moment of the decomposition is painful because there's nothing less at least if you would have the seat on your counter you have this beautiful black seat you can decorate it you could laminate it you put it in the ground and decompose there's nothing left but it's that state of iron of nothingness that allows the metamorphosis from the lower eh to the higher iation the lower state to the higher state it's the moment of decomposition that is really the moment of rebirth because till the moment of decomposition I'm still holding on to an old paradigm emotionally what that means is we learn to live with certain paradigms that may be painful but they keep us alive it's called survival skills we just live with it with like you you learn to cope to let go of all of that what is gonna remain of me nothing that's why this is what I'm gonna talk to your debits in us today about that's why lights wife has to turn around you know why she has to turn around because she believes that if she is taken out of his dough him emotionally there's nothing left to her she will not recognize herself there's no person the only person she can recognize is the person in stone there's no other purse so he says don't turn around it's a new life there's no such a thing I will die there's no me so we always turn around we need that older self to be able to give us some sense of identity the Jews don't stop telling Moshe Midd narration our children it's Rimer Egypt is the place that's the place they were abused in Egypt but that's what they know at some point they say so hi newest how dull gosh and no your compliments ryeom clean up we remember the sushi that we ate in each other yes we don't want to go back but we need the Egyptian paradigm and Moshe is like you're on a new path we don't know that path because it's too it's too shocking I must have my old self my most have the addict's greatest fear is recovery his greatest fear is recovery because the attic itself is a horrible south but it's a familiar self the battered woman the greatest fear is independence because the new life I don't know the old life look I survived I'm beaten and battered I cry all day but I'm here I'm here and that's what we do to ourselves emotionally the Sailor says no you have to forget the harsher in order to experience the oil so even Canadian ha L yawning becomes a distraction understand when I'm talking about distractions of abuse trauma we're talking here the trauma of the maiden alien what kind of travel is that it's a by Cena but when you're dealing with infinity subtle distractions become worse than brute distractions Canadian Italian could sometimes be a more subtle distracting but therefore a more profound one because it's the particle of dust on the on the more refined lens and the particle of dust blurs the whole vision blocks tall vision we don't say remember midst I remember you'd see us when said I that you have to remember remember every day that you're capable of going out of Egypt that's not easy you think's time to Titus has to run beaches done twice a day we see it as a Boreum it's okay here we go again Oh Montes Scootaloo Montesquieu Lamont iscador master school by the way you know even never much time oh yes I learned every trial right non-stop he cheated on his much time but if every child was told of every ten-year-old in every yeshiva was told if every fourteen-year-old girl was told you know we have to release this much time twice a day here's the deal whenever you wake up naturally the fact oh we fall into a place of confinement and twice a day you have to remember that you are never ever ever a victim of any confinement not a dickster and not depression and not mediocrity and not fear you are capable of removing all your shackles and being free today now the question is why only twice a day it should be a few of every minutes amenities inside why only places that in other words morning and evening that's a peridot so therefore forgetting here is not forgetting the facts remember the facts all signed it it doesn't mean here for yet you have to forget the facts on the summer comes in the granadan your son has to forget fill-in and since this and say that well it's a sonic serve - um their whole life I know them I'll have to forget everything I have to forget my family have to forget some child Zoya clear here means a different type of memory there is memory where you're free and there's memory we are attached to you're not free yes you mean murder you quarantine the experience and you solidify it in a moment this little fun when when when when when Yosef calls his son he has a son Menasha his first son he says now Shani le Kim escola Mali was called a solving the case Hashem made me forget the house of my father really Yosef forgot that he had a brother you heard that I promise you he's gonna figure if he forgot how did he then expose himself to reveal no Sam your brother I forgive you where you like you forgot everything forgetting doesn't mean forget I don't know the information and well you could know everything forgetting here means I'm not living there anymore let go I let go of it very good I'm gonna try to do that let go of it so the memory is there and then the memory will actually be better because you will be able actually to see it for what it is and not to see it for how it affected you which is never what it is but how you internalized it at the moment you'll actually be able to see it for what it is now that you also be able to see it from the other person's perspective because it doesn't define you anymore yeah I don't think the state I had to forget the Crockers valve base that every kid could know and he had to forget it she can't learn comedy rashon me if you don't know what what what the Gomorrah says in Bali it means now that's why nobody has to forget come above Lee to learn Tamil you saw me but you probably forget it anyway without fasting 100 times 2 days pass and if the games right or even 1 day pass or you came through I read in one of the magazines that you can't deliver one of the books so you came to raveloe Yosef a few years ago and he said that he has a terrible memory dosa forgets all the kimonos that he learns so he asked him how many times he hazarded Amore's just four times he says that's not a bad memory that's a normal memory says if you learn every stick of them honest 60 times and then you forget it a day later then come back to me you learn it four times you forget it is already English that's that's a normal thing people forget that's that's normal especially Gemara is even easier to forget but here we're talking about dessert is that being attached to a certain model now a person may not even understand what this means what models are my attach to it maybe so deep I don't have another model I'm not attached to anything this is life that's exactly what you care enough because I don't even I don't even know that's the issue and that's where the I and I'm a shocking comes if I know okay I may not even know I'm not attached to anything I'm just living I don't have a washing machine on me it's invisible I don't have it I'm not living by anything I'm just a free person but a free person is a free person that was profound No so therefore when the person is not aware of the modalities that define their life that itself becomes a much deeper prison because I don't even know what's going on I'm just assuming that this is it I'm assuming that this is freedom so it's a person who was born in a dark pit in Chains and doesn't know that there's life per cloth they don't even know that the Sun shines outside and some people can go through their whole life like that and they can't even imagine that there's a light at the end of the tunnel what are the New Yorkers say why are people in New Jersey so depressed I'm sorry they say New Jersey say why have people in New York so depressed because you would also be of the light at the end of the tunnel was New Jersey so but that for that I once told somebody there's light at the end of the tunnel he says yeah but there's no tunnel there's no tunnel there's no light there's nothing stand garnish pipe over starett's be all day I I don't even know this something to separate after we going oh I don't even know it's not that I'm not happy I don't know there's something called happiness and therefore I call misery happiness I don't even know this is such a life I never had the chance how would I know no one ever taught it to me and it's not about information it's about experience experience you meet a person they're imprisoned their whole life they don't know there's something called freedom then something happens that becomes unbearable they think it's the worst moment in their life it's actually the best moment of their life because the on one second the unbearable moment is what allows them to say wow I've been living in Chains so their worst moment is really their best moments always their worst moment why if the moment of decomposition it's the moment when you say I hate this this is crazy this is second you know this VASIMR says well he'd say CSM attack us civilized mr. Allen was shocked to see the limits right so he says I will take you out from a condition in which you're being so vomits right that's the beginning of Google civilizing the words someone words you learn to be so evil mitzrayim you learn to tolerate Egypt you learn to tolerate injustice you learn to tolerate abuse you learn to tolerate hate you learn to tolerate dysfunction that's the goal is the goal this is not the dysfunction that's not the goal oh that's cool that's cool huh the golus is that you call it functionality you call it goodness you call it holiness the goal is not that you know you're in godless that's already sexy goal - trust me shylu socks entrancing surely you know the expression a question of mcawesome is a habitual you dear Sam a kamikaze trooper you can ask the doctors here a good diagnosis you're in a good shape it's catchy trooper a good diagnosis you dears a martial heart that's not the issue the issue is when the illness is called health when idolatry is called gods when this function is called religion and when stupidity is cool from kind etcetera and when abuse is called Kabbalah so whatever all the good things that's the tragedy because then there's no way of going out of it you don't ammunition type Shih Tzu knew a thing up to about Micah said comic locust realization is a for the sky the mission he says what shot he says a Malaika swear God as part of it is gonna endure forever what the shame of the same time ain't safe for this guy in others we arguing about money so there's a way to deal with it if we're arguing about gods it's not me it's not me it's not my ego it's not my power it's not my issues it's God so how can I have a Shara so my cloak goes to the shame shall mine say for this times gonna last forever why because you're not allowing a road to redemption here because there's no awareness of this function everything is perfect worse than imperfection is this belief that it's perfect how does one crack that not yah and I'ma sameas is not gonna work because the iana marissa mayer will reinforce the problem what you need is guy in a moussaka you need a breakdown of the situation you need things to get broken what you need is things to get broken things not to work when things don't work then it's the beginning of a person opening themselves up to a part where things are pretty good well I wouldn't say thinking I don't think thinking does the trick here but I'm saying I think the thinking has to be experiential more one two three four four lines from the bottom Lama I love the first column page 61 to explain yah and I'm a Shaka he brings desire desire says that Sukhoi excites people who are righteous are fortunate that every day they look at their souls as though this is the day of death at the surface it means that they never indulge or become too frivolous because they're always aware of the future consequences and he wonders he says if we're talking about people who are prominent spiritual space it would think who you with it would seem that they're in primary motivation and avoidance SM is not fear of punishment that basically Eurosonic in other words Olam haba can Aidan Jahannam that's the key one would think especially in the world of Zohar that that is not the primary motivation and yet it seems that that's what desire is saying about them what's unique about them is that they always realize that they may face the best intial mile on this day or the next day and therefore their behavior is in a particular fashion so he says the truth is that the meaning of the soil is very different and this point was that even on Sadiq Omer when he goes to Canadian needs to go through some type of tavella some type of mikvah a spiritual mikvah you know not open a river called my heart dinner and the reason is to remove the attachment to experiences in this world because there's no way that he or she will be able to be fully present in canadian if they still remember and what we mean by rememory means if they're still attached if they're strings attached cords attached emotionally spiritually to the experiences of the world not only that he says even within Dunedin itself every risque dish every shop is is what's called a Lee asana Shamas every shop is there's a journey of the souls have you strayed this is a journey of the souls of the souls continuously journey it's hard for us to even imagine this but there's tremendous growth transitions and for a salt to go from one space to another space from Grenada not Pakistan Canadian from Grenada no alien to a higher granade now remember Canadian itself is infinite Myriad's and Myriad's really infinite levels my should have a no and the others aren't I made them for three thousand years and they're not boring I made what do they do all day again it's hard for us to know what can people do for three thousand years life here is short so you cherishes 70 80 90 120 years life the air is not short it's very very long so what do you look forward to you know I hear there's a vacation coming soon as New Year's Tomica whatever it is people always look forward to the next vacation but over there there's no vacation what's the vacation but nonetheless they're not monotonous they're not bored because the time of the delight of the Ziva Sheena of Toyota and of Sheena is infinite and there's infinite levels and therefore this infinite growth so to get from one space to another space he says he again has to go to the mikveh why to detach to forget the hisagi of the night Natasha organ Aidan alien in other words even a high level of game Aidan will become an obstruction for a higher level of granade the perception that you had will become the new barrier yesterday's redemption becomes the new exiled yesterday's freedom becomes the new fence the new thing that actually obstructs me because the greatest danger in freedom is when a person becomes complacent and smug and therefore what was yesterday really of gevalt 'ok a breakthrough for today that becomes actually a blockage because the hosaka of yesterday becomes the goals of today because it doesn't allow me a deeper hosaka depressed serger means a different modality of thinking a different level of comprehension the baal shem tov once said that for every question there's an answer and for every answer there's a question and for that question is also an answer but for that answer it is also a question and what that really means is that it depends from which paradigm you're talking about every question is an answer if you go to a different space but if you go to a different space that question is challenged again etc etc so therefore the neshamah always needs the tavella in order to be able to make direct transition from one space in the naiton to another space in the naiton because as we explained this is not just a gradual transition I learned there Stickle Gemara I learn another stupid one enough to forget on the contrary yesterday's Amud is what I build on for today's almond yeah yesterday's blood is what I build on you don't want to forget but as we explained when you're dealing with a different style of comprehension a different model of a saga here yesterday's our son could become the greatest obstruction for today's or saga I don't know if I should mix the sin but Lahav the Mark Twain once said I never allowed my schooling to interfere with my education and sometimes you meet a person man met somebody not long ago and I was very impressed of their how they think about things so I said you must not have you must have not gone to yeshiva because sometimes places that teach you to think also teach you how not the thing you understand by definition every yes is a no so sometimes they teach you how to think but only think a certain way and there's literally no other way of thinking and your whole life you just suck in that space so sometimes the Evan Ezra says this about my should happen is something very interesting the Evan Ezra and partial mice asks a question why the first Jewish leader God forgot a providence hadith at the first Jewish leadership grow up among Gentiles you would expect that a first Jewish leader should have known what a solemn soccer looks like he did it he didn't know what a bris looks like he didn't know what a pity in that bed looks like he didn't know what a house-senate looks like he grew up by Pyrrha so this man who was supposed to be the first Jewish leader did not grow up in a yeshiva atmosphere or a Jewish community he grew up by Pyrrha never knew this is why does make sense do you know what he answers he gives to answer well first he says sight Hashem I don't know why God did it that way shut that's always the first dance and then he says but I'm gonna suggest two things number one Jews never respect people that they grow up with Ain Navi be ero you can't be a prophet in your own City because every end that tells you I still remember when you ran around in diapers so every person would look at Mike oh I remember your bris you were crying and here bris your mother couldn't control you by him not that one okay you're up Shannon I still remember you were so cute here let me give you a pinch my shine let me give you a pinch it's still cute he would never be able to do what he has to do that's how it is by Jews he grew up with somebody right it's always my father huh Jews have a special cushion this ain't no VB hero you can't be a prophet in your own City and you go to another city suddenly all of us go back to the old friends you know you ate some flower seats together it relaxed but then there Vanessa Rickey so that's a very practical that known as gives a second reason this is a very deep reason he says there was no way moisture Urbana would be able to take on the Egyptian Empire if he grew up among Jews because they all had a slave mentality and moisture had to be a revolutionary and to be a revolutionary have to grow up in our stock recei you have to be able to think big and the Jews could not think big because they were so oppressed that even when they thought about Redemption it was like a poor man's Redemption moysha had to be able to imagine an absolute revolution by growing up in a palace in royalty his mindset was a royal mindset that was expansive it was uninhibited because he wasn't a slave slaves by definition grow up with slave mentalities and he can't help them even when they think about prosperity right what is prosperity prosperity as they once said snorer once said if I would have Rothschilds money I would build elevators in all the buildings I won't have to climb up the steps to collect typhus that's how many people live their lives I'll get both Charles money and then I'll build elevators everywhere because I can't have another conception what how does one get rid of this this is not an easy thing to get rid of this is the way you're thinking right so sometimes you learn in certain your Shiva's or institutions or communities they teach you how to think but only to think this way and everything you can only judge through this medium you don't really don't have the ability for expansiveness an open mindedness that is not bound by any dogma moisture could not be like that he would never be able to be my shirt okay so that's whatever nazma says he had to grow up in Malthus in royalty they rambin by the way says the same explanation why they stayed in the desert for 40 years he says it wasn't a punishment there was actually a very good thing to do because when the Moroccan came back their mom says the Sumerian of Vulcan when they're round came back and said we can't go into the land because we're all going to die Hashem told Marshall obey no there's still slaves they don't believe that they can create a future for themselves they really believe that they're slaves forever and therefore they're frightened and therefore they have to spend 40 years in the desert basically to develop a sense of Independence of autonomy your Imam says when you hang out in a desert for 40 years you learn you learn how to tough you learn how to toughen up it wasn't a punishment he says only their children who were born in freedom will be able to imagine a life of freedom right so you have a person the Jewish people have been in Gullah for many many years for 2,000 years and we have developed a very deep godless mentality of how we think about everything how we think about God how we think about ourselves we think about life how we think about history the reactive kamenets he writes the truth is it comes from a generation earlier it's a very profound idea comes from the Ostroff sir ever heard of the Ostroff said if you feel mayor of Astaroth sir one of the great ascetic masters of poland he passed away in 1928 he fasted for forty years so those troughs are right she has a safer mayor in her common what to say from a and a haha mom I think yet yeah I think mayor how come he writes and I saw Sir Jack of kamenetsky writes this worked in his Emma sloppy he has a parish a little different but the the typhoon is similar it says that Yaakov ran away from Asaph my Yates a Yakima bare shovel by Yale Ahana when you make a hegemon of yakov's life this fourteen years missing so now she tells us he went fourteen years to learn in the Shiva of Shaymin aver asked us to officer what did he learn in the yeshiva of shame and a vet that he didn't learn by its hook enough wrong was up step up but it occurred there s no sex what was it the towels of death the biscuit that at the polish at that at the galaxy Onodera a Hungarian death what exactly it was deader that he learned better by yeah my shame and Ava that you couldn't give him and ever I'm gonna give so the stuffed sir says two words he had to learn Tyrus hagamos meaning Yakov knew how to be a Jew iñárritu strong that's where it's was that's rather arm was he didn't know how do you how are you a Jew outside of her it's his soul he didn't know Shaymin aver they taught him for 14 years how to be a Jew in Davos it's a different style different style a different in you okay now I'm gonna borrow their words and say the opposite we for 2000 years learned Tyrus Agulhas we don't know Theresa : how to be a Jew in a redeemed way how to be a redeemed Jew a liberated show how to be a drew without fear without obsession without guilt without negativity Madhav's are late enough mushiya faint hog named by Americans of who the Magan of Rome says that Adam Shabbos you tell him from the tough Shalom of Shabbos the Satmar they know how to do it I am L so even when it comes as we come to Equus it the magista there's a foretaste bula where there's a certain consciousness of what will Judaism feel like after BSI mushiya there's something they call fog you know what fog is fog is also fear obsession guilt so there's a Judaism that's lived in fog in fear and an obsession and in guilt that's very much terror cyclist the relationship with God is a very strange one it's a very difficult one and it's always based on fear of punishment it's not based on expansive consciousness it's not based on experiencing your full potential and your full freedom it's also looking at the world and seeing it as an evil place it's looking at other people and seeing everything as evil in other words we're always protecting ourselves now there's a reason for that Jews have not had an easy time I don't have to elaborate we all understand and they did a remarkable job in being Jews and others that's why we're all here today but what happens is the transition from one modality to another modality requires a very deep quantum leap it requires a person who's not bogged down by this stress that all I could think about in terms of prosperity is to build elevators and buildings so I should be able to have an easier time to go from door to door and collecting money or as a malama the teacher told Rothschild that if I don't have your money I'll be richer than you because I won't quit being a muhammad so I'll have an extra side job okay fine this isn't a hate so therefore so therefore they say oh my said that was one so caught a farmer a hostile came to his Reverend his cow was sick so when he asked for him a broker for the cow cause he got milk she said they burst is alpha gnosis or starboard it's a cow should die they die talk so you had another cow God said he came back to him he says I want to bless you dition also have you'd see us on a shaman the Keshava so finally comes to him and he says I don't understand you're supposed to help me you're not supposed to not supposed to destroy me says you have anything left he says yeah I have an old horse an old cow Jesus God the lease card there so he lost everything he tells his wife this is supposed to be my friend my rep and this now he has nothing yeah he starts thinking how do you make money how do you start making money so he starts dreaming up this partner said that part knows he gets involved in something and he makes a nice nice mint say comes back the next year to Japanese says I don't understand why did you do this he says Portia I saw as long as your animals are alive you won't even be challenged to think bigger all you could think about is that your cow should give a little more milk that the horse should go a little faster you have to get rid of everything in order to be able to start thinking you know how do I create a life for myself so we always this is constantly in life the yesterday's model which worked effectively in Ghana Dena Elia in the maiden attacks it becomes an obstruction for the perception of gundalian and not because it's up was a bad thing it wasn't but I'm still attached to that and I'm attached to it so that's where I remained I remain stuck the the sign of a true person who works on themselves person who's sensitive to ruin is too ain't safe is they'll never they'll never become smug in a certain modality the vision of infinity is so compelling and it's so powerful that they remain truly humble that's why the greatest spiritual Giants are also the most humble people by definition not because they don't know their strengths it's because they know their strengths but whenever you have a keen sense of infinity so the worst enemy is smugness because smugness only works when you don't when you know you're not aware of the distance so that's the idea that even the greatest sadiq making a very subtle transition which for us wouldn't seem drastic from one space for manganate another grenade that needs to go to a mikvah and fire and in that completely so to speak lose themselves so they can be recreated in a new open way without the previous walls and barriers that would be the obstruction for the new hostage and that mikvah it almost like erases everything like I don't recognize myself let me start over again it's a very very humbling moment when you don't recognize yourself whatever happened to you you look in the mirror and you just you don't know who you are okay let's just start from scratch voracious bara elokim as Hashem ayan SR it's Here I am now what do I do with my life but if you have that moment it's really a very powerful moment of rebirth it usually comes to pain in our world it comes to everything else gets destroyed we usually don't know how to create this in a positive way because if the car is working why should you open the hood we only open the hood when the car breaks down we only go to our depth when it's not working when the computer is functional you don't start opening the computer you just let it go as long as your life is working for you you can afford to be superficial god bless you it works when your life stops working for you then you can't afford to be superficial you have to go and open the hood and see what's going on so usually in most cases it comes from pain from life disintegrating and therefore there's nothing left so I have to revisit everything the challenge here is talking about and got made and it doesn't come from pain it comes from a positive vision of infinity that's also part of Tyrus at Google that pain doesn't have to prom growth disruption is not the only prerequisite for innovation in our world people who are obsessed with recovery sometimes worship the process of addiction a little too much and what I mean by that is it's true that you read this story of halia and it's true that sugar comes only through break down through sins and it's true that growth comes only through this integration but yeah yes it is but we have to be careful not to romanticize not to romanticize it that's also part of a godless mentality that you have to be broken and destroyed in order to discover yourself that is true in life it's true with a lot of people but sometimes people become obsessively uh obsessed obsessed with that it's really a tool and an ultimate awareness hearing then Aidan it's not from being broken it's from a compelling vision of infinity that allows you not to remain that that challenges you not to smugglin complacent I just wanted to point that out so now he comes to explain desire okay he says as follows one two three four four lines from the bottom it's also my other Mali boy can he make I'm Aiden who Shannon and missive Ashima what is ganado the Gemara says in process in science that tsadikim enjoy the radiance of the shrimp the eggs are Ella's if the Z version is only as if so it's a radiance it's a glimmer of the shimmer oh my boy ba ll a honest missive ashlynn sorry philosopher Hazare Camila Massa in order to go into GaN Eden which is only Z version you have to remove the memories of oil um hasta cause if not you will not be able to experience granadan how bothered of kebaya Spotify they tell you it's filler ask us come over come so if you want to cleave to God in this world through Tara and filler which is not ZBrush Lena it's the skin itself for sure you have to be able to go into that mikvah and remove your attachments from everything that's pressing you down and I Lamar's of Asoka vana Cesare miss Battley been a CEO that Sadiq looks every day today as though as though that day is passing away what does it mean not that he's afraid of punishment now lajas sequoia kazoos remain young madam Haase could they'll add of Cabaye his mother's potato until he remembers that when the soul leaves the first thing it has to do is what remove the tire kizuita remove the memory that attaches it and keeps it bound up to the oil amazi experiences which don't allow it to be truly free so every day he imagines that day to go into that same space in order to connect touch them through tarantula what is he saying here what he's saying is that there's no way I can experience even savasana right if I'm attached to all of my experiences in Alamosa what do I mean by attached attached means that the person bogged down by it and therefore they will simply not be able to be open to the radiance of the schema so they must have that mikvah that's feelin how do you know that every neshama goes through which really reinvents itself he says darling here or tighter here is deeper than Canadian Canadian is even tighter that's Hashem himself filler here is a relationship with God himself on one hand Canadian is much higher we say Yaffa chakras shall create us through off myeloma bamako caelum house' because over there you have the sheena revealed so this unknown here it's concealed on the other hand the mission that says your chakras baku them i some token boy la maza makélelé mom one hour in this world is greater than the whole Olam haba why it's about tiny explains elsewhere Co xylem harbors Ziva Shimon we learnt in the - sighs ptosis if you remember how Manaslu cobble Pross this is the price you want the radiance of God you want the light and then there's ash in itself tired and feelin Olam haba this is a link with the shin itself with Hashem himself in his ox immerse in his essence see says if they experience even our dinner you can't be attached to other things and if you are there's no way you could take your place in the Maidan and therefore the ROM has to go to landfill and I didn't or imagine that a relationship with God himself in this world through Toyota and filler if the person is attached to anything if they're clear causation is there there's no way they can have a relationship with a chef so what does this mean practically when a person gets up to Davin when a person gets up to Davin there's so much going on our minds don't stop people don't stop thinking and can't even stop if you want to people don't stop thinking the expression my shovin mache Teta stomach you're always thinking you could never shut off your thought try doing it I'll come back with a vengeance you can't stop thinking if you stop thinking all you'll be doing is thinking about the fact that you're trying to stop the thing because my Shover always always is alive my stuff is always vibrant and the Mushaf attaches us attaches us to everything so the Zohar says to our souls that every day they imagine this is the day they're leaving the world not that they're afraid and therefore punishment know much deeper idea they say I'm now going into an experience of what you would call a deathlike experience in the positive sense and that is I guess this is a pretty sharp idea I mean I mean put it from the boss Hampton the Baal Shem Tov once said that one of the greatest they asked him if they asked him of his miracles today so he said yeah and the greatest miracle is that I stay alive after darvany so the Baal Shem Tov said now for me that's not a big miracle I have to say maybe for some of you it's a miracle I'm not sure what did he mean what's the miracle that he stays a life after death what's why shouldn't he stay alive some people will mean they stay alive after the boredom that's for some people or after the rabbi sermon or after the jalapeno herring and the schnapps by the kiddush they stay alive fine but that's not what the baal shem tov meant what did he mean in miracle that he stays on live after darvany because actually for him davon Inc was a dangerous moment what was the danger of the moment of domine what was it there was a yield the booty of stress never heard of the booty of still is one of the great ascetic masters they called him the saref why they call him the son of so the mice is that every day by darvany it looked like he was burnt up in a safer and the fact that he was alive was obsessed achill finish this famous writes that the eda Kaddish the utica - why they called the EDA Kaddish he says was every day he went through a process similar to a convert who becomes from a non Jew a Jew every day he became the city went through that process he became a Jew today they called him every day that was his name a Jew just like a convert you say oh here's a Jew because he just became a Jew he just became a Jew today life is full of things going on right if you open up your phone you probably have a lot of text this morning you ready you have 20 emails to deal with this appointments this issues this that's good things then this challenges and struggles and problems and so forth but then there's a fascinating thing and that is somebody who fascinating tragic somebody who's in middle of life and doing everything and active and has all the emails like everybody else and has all the responses like everybody else and then a funnel that's not something happens and they pass they pass and what happens to all the pressures and then people come to the come to the funeral and often a reflection is like just in our instance in an instant hundreds and hundreds of responsibilities that stress us out in this person's case it's like all gone person is not here it's all gone it's all over and they're not in this world anymore and like in that instant if somebody texts you and says you're coming and you don't answer within ten minutes right they start doubting the relationship if you don't answer within an hour you're like may not be a friend anymore if you don't answer within a few hours you may be an enemy if you don't answer an email within a few days you're like really really detached from society and we live in that world and I guess you have to live to some degree in that world that's the degree of pressures and responsibilities and issues and so forth once did a summer but that's really only a little journey and then a summer leaves and all those knots all those connections all those relationships just dissolve they're just not there they're not there so the Zohar says that when a person goes into a mode of terror and filler they have to really be able to go into a mode as though the neshamah left the world that day in other words nothing nothing nothing exists outside of my relationship with God nothing and that's really the mindfulness that he's talking about it's a mindfulness where a person could go into a space and say not house for Shalom that I'm dead and I should die god forbid but it means be able to be in a relationship that's not bogged down and not encumbered and not distracted by any strings attached to anything just like the neshamah when it leaves the world it's obviously all the cords get disconnected and it's a sad thing for us that all the courts get disconnected - well that's what he talks about the mikveh that's that's what the Sawyer means that even when the neshama detaches itself it's still not enough even when it's dead and therefore doesn't have to text back I can't come to the bar mitzvah because I have a headache because the you know the shamisen of a sec Horace won't let even without that I don't mean to be humorous I know I about this it's a tragic reality but I mean the concept that he's bringing out it's it's it's a profound concept even that's not enough why cuz there's still the memories so it has to go to the mikveh and the mikveh and the hardened or he says quiet assertions removed now you get closer if it doesn't mean that you erased the data so that this neshama doesn't know that it was born of course not that's not it - qivana the shaman has a wife in a sauna as children or someone's grandson sometimes great-grandchildren on a shaman is no it's not it lets go it's attached in a way of choosing to be attached in a way of love and not allowing distractions so that you can't be in a relationship that's a different type of connection so that's what the ZOA means that that sadiq everyday lives that way and the ballot Anya says really has to be even more than when the neshamah dies you know why that's his that's that's his touch because in granadan you only get 0 Serena here is the skin itself if zbrush any of these things distract for the shin itself you mama SH have to be able to let go so can a person really really let go of everything now it's very scary to let go of things because that's the only way we know ourselves if I don't have all these things Who am I but says the mode that he talks about when you go into da Vernon when you go into Toyota it's a different mode literally all the cords to everything but the relationship right now with Hashem is severed so so that's the real question can a person even imagine stepping into such a relationship and I would say that if this exists with Hashem a certain element of it exists in relationships with people who are all created in the image of God can I enter into a relationship with absolutely no no attachments to anything can I even do that do you even know how to do that does anybody even know how to do that I'm not only talking about putting away the iPhone that's that's beyond but even emotionally and mentally to really be able to say you know I know nothing I'm not attached to anything I don't recognize myself which is a concept of a spiritually near-death experience to the point that he says if this was it what's left what's left you said they had to be 40 years and that to have a moisture I mean we have to be open to that the first thing you have to know is that you're in Egypt that's the first thing you have to know if you think you're in Ghana if you think you're in Canadian then you're in Gehenna and then you're not changing right if you think you're in Google then you're in godless then you're not changing the prerequisite for Google is always knowing that you're in godless I told you Vanessa 7/8 ACS come attack us civilized Messiah it's it's going to the mikveh so to speak and emerging and the person that was there before is not the person that's there after because he died in the middle I don't mean physically but rebirth rebirth in the sense of the guy goes in comes out and he's a Jew what happened it's a joke he's a Jew right the Jew himself can can experience that process that he is now a person who is literally open to a relationship from a place of absolute freshness absolute creativity absolute dynamic pulsating life but I'll tell you I think the hardest thing is even for a person to understand it is such a possibility and to understand how far they are from that possibility if they never understand that is such a possibility it's like we are so programmed we just go into everything with everything and we just bring that into everything we bring everything into everything we're not I once heard from Rabbi Jonathan Sacks something very moving you know the chief rabbi of the former chief rabbi of Britain it was very interesting percent / inside I heard from him he said he went in as a student in 1968 in the middle of the night he went to visit the lubavitcher rebbe he said he was sitting in his room and he could not put his finger on what he appreciated so much and he said and then at some point he realized that what was so valuable about the meeting for him it changed his life I mean it took him from one space put him literally on his course of where he is today you know rabbis rabbi and a teacher writer and author in terms of you describe so he said what what affected him so deeply was that at some point he realized that the Reber was not present in the conversation what do I mean by not present not like we would say not present he was not present to quote him he said he allowed himself to be nullified and to become a mirror so that I should be able to see myself by talking to him that's what he said in other words if you sit down with me you sit down with somebody there's always I want to make an impression on you you want to make an impression on me and even if this person you're coming to is a great leader and a great rabbi and a great as you say a great whatever but he's still a human being you know you asked me a question I have the answers or whatever it is I'm a nice guy or Rama I'm a brilliant guy or a bulk asset it's always give-and-take and that's fine that's that's human life is it possible that you come into my room and I tell myself you know what for the next hour I don't have to be here it's fine I don't have to be here all what I want to do is I want to allow you to be here I'll be the mirror and I'll simply allow you to look at me and see yourself but see yourself in a different way I will completely suspend my need for what's the word my need for to assert myself to assert myself into this relationship and really be able to be completely in a state of what we call iein or what you call bittle to be in a state of i in which will allow you to be able to see in me you're a mirror in other words my entire existence now will be a conduit to try to help you reach whatever you have to reach so first of all a person has to be very comfortable with himself to be able to do that it's obvious you have a lot of confidence and a lot of courage to really be able to step aside and there's like there's really nothing else but in addition to that it's even that ability to be able to be in that space where I could now say you know I'm not here I'm really not here the I that is here is a different I it's completely an I that is just a conduit for you well for the other person is not just helpful for the other person allows them to reinvent himself to see himself in an extraordinary way for yourself it's I mean it helpful and selfish terms it's not helpful in selfish terms but I think it's like I'm giving an example I think I think for a person it's helpful in the sense that it helps me to repair the world number one and I think it also allows them to tap in to his true self in a very deep way because the true self is not defined by anything that's the truth let me finish with this ah the PAS success keep it selam aleykum assess Sodom right you're created in God's image and everyone asks - um doesn't have an image where's mean you quitting are shams image so one of the explanations is that that's exactly the point Hashem doesn't have an image so to be created in our Shems image means that you don't have an image you choose your image you always choose your image but that doesn't seem to make sense we will have an image this is my parents does my family that's how I grow up there's my personality who doesn't have an image we have issues we have blessings we have vices but the truth is that's not the case keep it selam aleykum assess or other means a Shem doesn't have an image you don't have an image you choose your image at every moment and you never fix by it you choose your image you choose your connections you choose your attachments and those attachments are always deeper than forced attachments because their attachments that you choose and therefore you bring your entire self into it it's not attachments that are forced upon you and therefore you're just a victim of them so when you choose those attachments you choose those relationships the relationship is so much deeper because you're choosing your image but for that I have to be able to be comfortable with not having an image and not being attached to any particular image whatsoever so his argument here is that desire is saying that if in Canadian you have to do this and there's no way you experience in GaN Eden there's no way you can experience Toyota there's no way you can experienced Fela without doing this there's no way I can experience Thailand's Phila without literally letting go of everything that means that the greatest contradiction to Davin Inc is the greatest country dictating to darvany is coming into a Davin Inc from a space of self rather than from a space of nothingness I have to step into dominate from a place where literally I'm ready to completely reinvent myself and just face God as a one week old child naked I mean psychologically then the VM also did it physically but we're not advocating that at the moment psychologically emotionally completely raw and say let's talk okay Olivia took up my digital once said that if they brought up sits into Canadian if they brought it sits into Canadian the whole guy maiden would explode the whole place would be burnt down that's what he says what we would call today you would be nuked it would be demolished why he said the holiness that exists in senses in the midst of is so powerful that nobody would be able to remain intact completely expire like the voltage would be too overwhelming for the for the wiring that's what debates about the chipset this is reflective of the principle that he intimates here and that is we waits it's us and nobody is nuked let me borrow some normally people don't even get that excited under saying nobody but people don't even get that excited because that's really the difference between our world and the world of Canadian whatever they there's a world of clarity and everything is clear there's no distortions whatsoever to living that made the means to live in a space of no distortions by them hapa theorem said it doesn't mean a world that is a future world without the Dunham's says in hookers truth isla Mabus is as this is here today it's called I love ha but not because it's going to created in the future it's the world that the route that people usually experience after they pass on but the the world is is a world gone Aden is we do people think I'm Aiden this the Kimura citizen Baba bastard I long for Terabithia that a voice lived in this world mainland upon what does that meet with me they lived in Island hop in this world it's just a paradigm the way you look at the way you experience life Canadian is a world with complete clarity there's no distortions whatsoever everything that is is what do I mean everything that is is in this world everything that is is not it's a world of delusion or a world of distortion or a world of misconception and so many different levels in Canadian that doesn't exist so a maila mmm when there's a canoe shang-chi maidan they're aware of it so they literally said that's it so would come and they wouldn't be able to deal with the kaduche this world its dysfunction is also it's virtual because it's a controlled of concealment so therefore we're capable of having much more in this world than a nylon Harbor because we could threaten wicked as wicked absorbed things without processing them in granadan whatever you absorb you have to process on every level it's very clear what's happening no but even if in truth there's infinity there's no distortion there's no lie but even in truth this there's infinity you know just been learning tire there's one level at deeper level each one is true it's not like it's distorted a child learns a puzzle Amish they got it there's a deeper level the deeper level the deeper love that that's because there's Distortion let me take away the distortion is it open in one level no no distortion what I mean is the concept of a shaker of something that substitutes reality there's no substitute for reality but reality itself is so multi-dimensional it Saints so therefore he says here that in this world is not momentum is a machine in this world he says it's Menon from that the stream itself so therefore the ballistic about digital says you bring got citizen thinkin Aiden over there this silver-screen and it's it's as deeper than 0 steel and so Canadian can't deal with it but in nylon hase you haven't said so which is deeper than this immersed inner but yet we don't even feel it as as if never mind as a shimmer so therefore in this world you can have everything but not necessarily experience it so you're in a relationship with something absolutely powerful but one cannot one cannot experience it so he says mother hinga made the experience zbrush women to be in a relation with the emotion one cannot be connected and bogged down and attached and they have to be able to let go of all other attachments to be able to fully be in that relationship and if not as he puts it in a summer will never be able to settle into its place in the maintenance it will never be able to own that place it's never really near you're there but you're not there that's even this is culture came back of Homer when a Jew is going to learn trader the type of letting go that is necessary in order to fully suck the marrow out of the moment and seize the full experience and full opportunity of what is available right there at that moment Internode's feel as he puts it is even deeper than coming because even for zipper shinny anita's imagine when the relationship is with Hashem in his essence Amish which is expressed in Torah and mitzvot sinhala masa and that's what the Zohar means that there are people that every day they see it as the day of passing that doesn't mean that they're afraid they're coming they're gonna die that day that's not the focus here the focus here in desire is that they can will apply that consciousness and that readiness and that willingness to be able to be fully fully present in a way that for the person nothing else exists but the relationship right now with God with her she'll did anybody ever experienced this when they haven't no well it's manam okay he wants us each time we do any bits each time we go to dominate to start this whole priming he wants I'm saying is the suggestion is the ideal is that every day we were we go through this process of its Fela every Domini every time we come to shul every time we think of answering every time we make a proffer is that the ideal I think you're both asking the same thing I want to tell you a story from comedy rashon me miss Esther peepee guess it's a story so tomorrow in your show me it's a clicker mother tell me what you think about this story and how what would happen to you how would you look at it if it happened to you so good Martin you show me a clicker Mars every action undernourished Lankesh went to bathe we're the hot springs of terraria virtually as luggage for brothers-in-law they were considered the kundali had are they lived in the third century after the Common Era in Erica strong reputation as the editor of the whole comedy rashon me he's the first generation of a million my transition of time I am I'm a riot he brings in ash lockers the whole thing mister him a system of Mencia he was he was a gangster a gladiator and he brings them in and together they really anybody learns Gemara be nourished lockers are the two characters that pervade much of shots in the hot springs of Trier you have natural Hot Springs that are healthy and they were always known as healthy until today people go often ever when to commit a trusty place bear finish lockers the Gomorrah says in your Shami they both go to bathe a stir entering the place so today we're used to by the Chi so there's always somebody collecting money not one person usually a few dozen people tomorrow says in front of the time it's rare you do was what today you would call what do we call them today fundraiser yeah some people have other names for them whatever it is somebody collecting money he turns to the bill I finish lungfish and he says I need money I'm a poor man please give me money Debrecen ex-lovers say we're going into bathe throwing into the mikveh whatever we're going into a comment area when we go out we'll give you they go in how long are they did the good Mona doesn't say could be they were there all day could be they were there a few hours could be they what they are short time I don't know they come out the man is dead he's on the floor he's dead they realized they look he died from emaciation starvation so it seemed first half of the story I want to know what most people sitting in this room would feel when you see that moment the guy asked you for money you said I'll give you soon I'm gonna rush whatever the word excuse was like it's under my clothes published okay whatever okay was it outside I don't know okay whatever and the guy is dead the guy is dead he wanted to buy her water or orange juice he's dead what would be the natural feeling of a person what's the word that comes yeah you guilt how long would you be in therapy for this that you murdered somebody indirectly but you killed somebody okay half an hour a day okay that's it deputy Minh and his sluggish turnt each other didn't one to says and one says to the other we didn't have the source to be here for him during his lifetime at least let us have this hole to be there for him during his death he needs a lot of things now he needs a villa he needs to arrest him he needs Olivia he needs a burial place he needs a much saver huh he needs all these things somebody to say Kaddish I mean I would ask let's have the source to be there for him in his death so they take the body and they start the process and make what bathing or washing mcclure everything they take responsibility as they're removing the clothes to be able to cleanse the body they find in the bosom a whole bag of golden coins in other words the guy had a lot of yeah Mahalo it's called some people they can't forgive the hélène right so Michael deserves a name for it what's the name for it it's a level of stingy mr. appointed man that's the Meissen that's the end of the story that's an end of the story I want to think about the story for a moment how many people would respond like Rebecca diminished luck is when they saw that the natural responses of my god I can't believe this I can't believe this I just killed somebody I push it killed some of this guy is dead and you live with that if you're Jewish what are they saying the definition of a Jew is that if you don't feel guilty you blame yourself so if you don't feel guilty you're even more guilty you even more guilty you such are Russia that you killed somebody you don't even feel guilty you get obsessed about the fact that you're not obsessed right in fact many obsessions of people are about the fact that are not obsessed they're not feeling guilty enough and you could spend your whole life on the couch trying to deal with what a horrible person you are and and the psychoanalyst will help you figure out where your narcissism comes from probably from your mother and your grandmother from hava and the snake and that's why you're so selfish and that's why you can't see you know the whole evil whole evil shut replenish lakeisha's tell me if their response doesn't seem quite callous the guy is dead not a word callous goliath guilt it might be guilty now you understand ah such apathy not a word sugar huh I can't believe if God forgive us for not a word Oh max someone's gonna have a condition yours shall I'm you haven't watched them in action you should miss a said no no no no no you should miss a sit move us van that's it see the syllabi okay well we'll do my body shy you just kill the guy they don't know yet that he killed himself okay that's the next stage of the story but I'm trying to understand their approach not a word about what they did only about what they have to do right now now these are not ready even regular people would be surprising American Irish locusts were literally the spiritual Giants of a generation the ocean and is considered of roll Wonderlic literally daily one of the greatest Jews of that diet the way that has all speak about himself and lost and he himself nuit losses and the famous tomorrow in bras ten children Dane Dane better dang d'armes what what's them what's the what's the Gemara saying the Gemara is saying here I have no other way of saying it is telling us about the concept of living in the present moment in the most extreme way not being bogged down by any experience that does not allow you to fulfill whether when I shouldn't wants from you at this very moment meaning do they have to do children for what they did of course what have they done sugar for what they did I'm sure for a year for five years for twenty years maybe for their whole life I don't know well pile they figured something out because they saw what happened that not the issue what they're saying is one second we could sit down now and go to therapy and talk about how horrible we are but this person also is dead he needs a love value he needs food he needs to listen he needs Tyrel so it's it's it's it's it sounds saintly to go into the world of guilt and talk about how bad we are but it's abandoning the calling the destiny the slickest and the opportunity of this moment right now right now we are called to help this person reach a burial that's also a significant thing yes it doesn't whitewash killing somebody in the making in math right that they used to say the person who killed both of his parents and in the court he said huh brahmana said when I awesome you sure you murdered your father mother of course you awesome how bracamontes this is not to whitewash something to say I'm gonna do a nice quarter father always told me that the Communists their brilliance was Stalin Lenin they could kill you and then they made a state funeral they knew I like funerals that was their genius it's not whitewashing what has to be fixed and and such a thing like Swiss has done even Bashar get was betrayed obviously they weren't trying to kill him it was it wasn't an Indian of maize it but still just his diamond be shy gig is no small thing you caused that you caused indirectly the death of somebody but the fart is where you've recognized Rakesh is there's a difference between guilt and a relationship with God and the two are usually opposite the two are not usually opposite they sound similar the more guilty the more horrible you feel the more holy you are it's the other way around because the more guilty and horrible you feel the less you could be connected to what God wants from you right now because what you're busy is saying you're nothing you're a loser you denigrate yourself you're not in touch with what life calls of you of the relationship with life right now the world was created right now at this stage of the game somebody asked me for money because they want a drink and I didn't give it to them well what how would you feel about it and then you had this experience a few weeks ago right and you're still feeling it and you didn't kill the person you know that very well so you're asking about this for sure being close to God means you think about each other yeah of course do you think about children if you insult because you have to do what I'm distinguishing right I'm gonna still it's not an act of repression of denial it's an act of right now he died they really had to call our soul and bring them the guy is dead so what do I do do I now get obsessed with me and how horrible I am or this person need to be buried just something is recalling do I have to fix this of course after fix things there's a certain emotional depth here that is very very profound is a spiritual genius now what happens in life when you do this you know what happens when you do this in most cases you figure out that you didn't kill the person that's what happens paradoxically when you don't do this when you live in the past not in the now your whole life you are the murderer when you have the courage to say now there's something called now paradoxically you figure out that this guy had a lot of gold he never had a muscleman it's a sad story but I did not murder him I really did not kill him he did not starve or die from dehydration because of me it doesn't take away from the tragedy but it's a whole different paradigm the oblation any luggage may have learnt a lesson and said you know if somebody asks you for soccer you should give him this a whole story of NOx emission gamma zoo etc but but this is a concept in a void assertion that is one of these signals that the Baal Shem Tov and the Baha Tanya used to talk about a lot this Nakula that life is always about the relationship that is happening right now at this moment and if I'm stuck in the past or in the future in terms of guilt anxiety negativity and so forth what it does is it's not shot I'm a holier person it deprives me for my holiness it takes me away from Who I am right now and it takes me away from the energy that's coming in to me from Hashem at this moment I'm a cottage with to void but holy uncommon massive ratios there's a time for sugar there was a truth--it is a is a is a big thing but there's a time for it the time for it and when suddenly a middle of the day or a middle of down in the middle of learning all I'm experiencing is what a bad person I'm cuz I did that I did that that's the eighth surah what's travesty it's our order it's trying to take the person and put him into a state where he should become paralyzed we should become stagnated and usually what that will lead us to more sin not lessen and the reason it will lead to more sin is because whenever a person is living with anxiety they look for ways to numb their pain and any way that numbs it they're prone to do it besides that the more depression the more you feel valueless and the more you feel valuable is the less you're motivated to do anything productive with your life so instead of bringing a person to trova it brings them away from children real chuva means number one there's a time and a place for it number two it's the conviction that God forgives and when he forgives he forgive it's over it's done it's done he forgave you Baraka Tom Canon a marvelous law of means he forgives trust him he forgives done over I said before solicitors and Cabinda Mariska said right after Yom Kippur the first feliz - how do you open up - hoorah whom your copy of it and then you come to sh - 2/1 or vino ki k'tano is this a joke oh holy M Kip I'll hate don't hate don't hate don't hate or something you finished me a little show now Bob use lime how many sins that people do between the illa and - even the greatest ballet lush and harder the hill is gonna love Omashu cuts him and two of them are all the nice titles don't sit between the illa and hoorah what do they do they're sitting and true with a thousand I killed they're starving and not in the mood of talking even they just wanna go home to eat what what what who documents happy enough for what and I have a that we did I thought we're done it's Laughlin oh so you know the typical minimum sister said something very profound he says Solano Avenue King Hatano cuz we don't believe that we were forgiven the sin of material Kippur it is then he's still busy you're still busy he says that's the sin the sin is you don't believe you were forgiven you that has nothing to do with true ver that has to do with a yet so hardened that wants to make you bogged down by everything forever forever it doesn't mean I didn't make mistakes I made mistakes so I'm gonna work on them I'll repair that but doesn't mean I am a mistake how did I become a mistake I made a mistake I made a mistake to put it in context and fix it you have so much good in it you have so much beauty of a soul in you just an Irish luck is understood what they call today living with the now what's the what's the mindfulness mindfulness engagement complete presence complete presents physically emotionally very hard mentally mentally even harder complete presence our thoughts are everywhere but here so the ballot Anya is saying here that desire is introducing the concept when a person gets up to tight ends villa it should be able a person should understand that the level of presence that is necessary to be fully in the relationship is one that is similar and even should be stronger than what then a shaman needs to go through in order to be able to be present in an aid and of course you understand that this is a real deep interpretation of what Gehenna really is this holtsville up in the heart DeNooyer right these also come between the Nathan and Aidan but it's also it's the Jahannam that goes before GaN Eden what is really gonna be hanim is really the pain that comes from letting go it's very hard because this Who I am Gehenna really means the ability that I could cleanse myself I can allow myself to be cleansed and taken away from all these things that I'm so attached to which I didn't know I could be taken away from I thought that is me but that doesn't allow me to be present in anything because I'm so bogged down by it I'm like attached with a million wires to things but to being an Aidan means you're in the presence of God whenever you in the presence of God it's a full relationship a full relationship means that I'm completely present somebody after that she told me yesterday that an experience that they had that they said to me this was very interesting to hear I'm not sure I understand that exactly but this is all just quote what the person told me person said to me that if if you tell me that - you tell me 2+2 you tell me two plus two and I'm listening to you and what I right away think is what do I think four so the person told me that means I lost you I'm not with you anymore I went somewhere else I went to my own space I'm not with you on your journey but when you say 2+2 and all I'm thinking is 2+2 I just heard this verse say 2+2 and I will not go away from there so now I'm with you on your journey I'm not going somewhere else the other case I went off to my own space I already figured you out I already took you where I wanted to take you because I I'm not ready to be here with you where you are I thought that was very very interesting insight which a lot of people wouldn't like what are you talking about 2+2 is 4 I don't know what you want I thought - I didn't think 4 okay I don't know in numbers if it works so much this is how the person conveyed it but I think the concept is could you just be with me where I am not anywhere else when there's no destination that's maybe we'll reach a destination maybe not don't figure it out don't close up the pieces don't turn it into an equation and don't give a solution and don't just put it in a box and put it into one of the files in your in your brain one of the SEC Tilian files on anomaly files people have in their brains but from between the 50 50 trillion cells there's a lot of files over there just to be fully fully here it takes a lot of courage takes a lot of humility takes also a lot of confidence it takes also a lot of a lot of inner work but he says when it comes to Toyota and Fela you don't have this zero shriman you have a Shem himself so anything else really doesn't allow for the relationship to be what it is freely to be able to let go of everything and just say I'm with you right now in a complete oneness without anything else but that oneness as in the case of reveal Finnish luggage for example the hole in the partial now with the akkada that abram said only afterwards operational phone efficacy huh see the point is the emotional restraint that he had it was not there that was gonna be in its new place that for me I'm sure like you still do that sure but later he was gonna have a science tyrone shum later but the whole thing was at that moment right right and that was not killed that was done of seven rights of slum is over seven as a single issue machetes it's a brilliant book he explains the personalities in the ways of how logic thinking of the Godoy over the last generation so he has their worst when of crime risk of crime salivate cheeky as to a story I haven't seen another placement there was Evan was higher bliss McAuliffe he says that accosted once sort of high-risk I'm gonna quote them I said the way it's written there and he says versus this is my title it's vacas out doctor first day I'll stop the first aim the a burst on physic gazook was wilted he says what's with you literally that tells the crime please what's with you everything you have to understand I sect and analyze what's together what he wants what he doesn't want what what was first of God said do what he says stop with this sometime please Cosette the leaders get out so theaters get acted but let me give you a hug adora let me explain to you the parts he said this part he says by that kada yeah it says by he asked retorted milosz am tested of rama v no caffeine has been cursed yes it now okay so he goes and he takes his child and then our Shem says Multi schlaf yuck don't do it take him down don't take him down so what happens now I've rum tells us them I don't understand you yesterday you said be it so he Carla Hazara today you tell me slaughter him and then to end years ago you told me knit circle Hazara yesterday you told me slaughter him and today you tell me take him down what's going on Hashem said I didn't change my de Bourgh I said how are you some loyal right a sock stay after you took him up take him down sometimes it went should've have raw master Shila not by stage three by stage two by the contradiction my states thank you that's good God said save stage two is the silent the crimes question but hibiscus island so crime said as a you have snakes of mama Christians as actually a via customer solution me actually abhinaya he's like as long as the snakes of the market issues as I don't have questions I have no issue as long as the snakes of my fish has had another problem it's not my space I'm not God's computer programmer actually of a accost of Ashley she when I saw that he brought in a third plus ik ah now he wants me now he wants me to figure it out what do you bring he the third plus sitting you want me to live with paradox some goods he says that cousin is right I'm fine you brought in a curse of Ashley she ah career be man now you want me as longer God is contradicting was on the third row I have no issue but now this up Seco selfishly she nothing about me to take him down one saying this ups a pattern here rhythm so you don't want him dead so now I've ROM started to asks are some that could clarify it to him so sometimes of art support so dears in other words I think maybe on a more spiritual level he was talking more you know along this level but I think it's that consonant there's a moment that calls for creativity with the person what to be creative and understand there's that moment and limo that only happens through that limited Ida is not is not an act of absolute surrender but nonetheless there are the moments or the prerequisite of Tyler the prerequisite of tefillah when it's just intimacy with what is not intimacy with anything else but what is that's what you meant I assume yeah yes what does it look like to serve Hashem without guilt that's a wonderful question some people say to become secular that's what it looks like a lot of people have told me that's the only way that's the real question is there an alternative for it very often we believe there's no alternative in other words the only thing that can motivate it's really guilt that's what works or doesn't what it looks like I feel like a reformed Joe it's like you know it's all on my terms but I think it's really the other way around I think that when one could actually liberate themselves from guilt you see the premise of all of this is maybe it should all it always has to be emphasized that people are not bad I think that's like the key premise to everything we often take for granted that were guilty till proven innocent we have adopted original sin in many ways the Christian idea of original sin is basically you'll have it often in your sheep as you see it the bucket comes in we assume the worst if after six months you prove yourself then as the hustle Abajo and that's really a distortion of you disguise it's the other way around every person as he doesn't stop saying and I was a helical a calming mouth is a piece of God you don't need guilt to have a relationship with yourself you need guilt to have a relationship with that which crushes you you need guilt to have a relationship with something that is not you that destroys you and therefore the only thing that can prompt me to do it is guilt when it's something I'm having a relationship with with truth both in terms of truth of my truth and not only my truth truth with a capital T the truth then it's the most freeing experience it's the most liberating experience on the contrary I think guilt diminishes the experience because all guilt does is it turns God into this bad father or horrible principal it basically takes a infinitely romantic experiences experience and reduces it to a very very small experience a very very narrow experience so what happens when a person doesn't operate from a place of guilt I think what happens is not that oh everybody's just gonna go wild and do horrible horrible things and and be deprived of any duty and any responsibility I think what you allow people to do is you allow them actually to connect to watch them from their core space which is really free it's very free and that relationship becomes all-encompassing and becomes a source of celebration now I should clarify if somebody is holding by doing something really not moral and the only thing that could stop them is guilt good you know good in other words it's better than doing it if the only thing I can get myself to engage in to stop I don't know doing something and it's guilt okay so post sinning this is really where it becomes very very dangerous because what happens here is that the guilt is not focused on there's an element of guilt where you say you know I made a mistake I apologize I fix it to the best of my ability you forgive me and it's done but that's different than guilt that's focusing on the actions that are necessary in order to repair the situation wonderful I broke something I fix it I didn't break something physical I broke a relationship so I fix it I repair it when the focus becomes on self denigration on how bad the person is how worthless how disappointed God is with you how much he disapproves of you how you'll never be that person that your father hoped you will be or that Hashem hope that you severe at you should be what happens as a result of this what happens as a result people become closer to God people become closer to themselves people become happier people people have more real his look and his iris and avoid the Sasha it's the other way around the phrase of the Blin said maja Sarasota mph on a no Omaha Cara no we say in my roof take the Sutton away from in front and in back he said why is the Sutton and back I know the Sultan in front of me he's point he says hey come come come down this way this is a good path for you why is he him back so he says the something him back is after the sin after he's in back and he says oh yeah you were bad Jew now it sounds like it's coming from sensitivity I'm holy that's why I feel so bad he said it's the Sutton it's the Sutton the choice of the bullet and in many ways that Sutton is worse than the Sutton in front of you why because for the Sutton in front of you we know that there's children for the soft in the back of me there's no children because I think I'm doing children there's no sugar for guilt because you think it's true but that's the problem at least I send I know I have to do trova when I'm guilty it looks like I'm being holy and really it's the biggest sin of Aaron of Karl in said at sluice is not a Nevada depression is not a sin sadness none but what it can do no sin can do what it can do no sin can do of course of course I don't think we are aware that there are relationships that are possible without guilt but I think those are the only relationships that are eternal are powerful and they're much deeper relation they're much more real relationship because you come into the relationship with your whole self when I come into a relationship with guilt I'm not there when you go to a hospital because of guilt how much of you is at the wedding 1% or a half a percent your iPhone is at the wedding right you're not at the wedding you came because of guilts so you think when you're doubting the course of guilt how much of you is by daven Inc when you're learning out of guilt how much of you is you're doing Shabbos out of anything you're not they're not 18 years 90 years of course no guilt at all so am I so how do you get the salt right now you come to my share you come to my show later on the only thing getting me to go there is either I wanted to go there or I have guilt and if I don't want to go there then guilt is the only thing they could get well what's the guilt what are you afraid of what's the guilt I'm just wondering cuz I don't have that guilt I'm just want to know let's say you stay home what's gonna happen okay why do you go to show on Shabbos which business you're gonna lose who's taking it away Oh your nominees Jews don't go to shows don't know and what happens in that business they make mobile so that's the guilt that you gonna lose your business or it's a long hot luck what's the guilt right now I'm not in the mood okay let's let's judge by who by the community that's social pressure what I can't come to school shopping even at trial I wanted to come late because I'm not in the mood of being in that jewel so my you know the latest time I'm willing to come what happens if you come after work I'm just trying to understand it's beautiful I'm just trying to understand I don't know complaining about it what why are you complaining about it it should why doesn't it doesn't feel good there's something off about you it's not supposed to come from that place it's supposed to come from a place of relationship right now I'm sitting with you know my the goal is right now I'm supposed to have a relationship with a sham or with whomever I'm having this relationship with and I'm supposed to be completely present and in their space none of my spacing but today you are so guilty really and that's my fault basic right so now I'm guilty actually I don't feel guilty I don't feel guilty to make people not feel guilty I really don't feel guilty about it what should I tell you maybe I'm really guilty but I don't feel it okay he's just describing his feeling comes time to Davin he gets nervous he feels pressure he must be that's beautiful guilt I would just say let me let me okay I think this is a good I think this is an important conversation I would just say one thing okay and here is how English is part of Yiddish light it's not like a horrible horrible toxic emotion that is evil he even describes it here he just says it's a dick him you would think are not motivated by your sonís right this is the concept of Eurosonic but I don't think that's guilt I still don't think that skillets I don't think your show my aim is guilt I think it's something else completely your shamaya means I'm afraid to ruin such a powerful relationship that's your Shania I'm afraid to ruin such a powerful relationship hereis Irish is also I think not guilt I don't think it's guilt the year so I nish means I'm afraid of the consequences right of doing something that is damaging to the other to myself to the world Tasha I think that's very healthy it's a fact it's a weirdness it's a weirdness my father died from diabetes my uncle died from diabetes yes right so the doctor always tells me and my siblings we like eating as you may be sick so he always says you know you should be over here that these things I'm poisoned for you now I love cheesecake it's one of my virtues so when I look at it why am I not eating it I usually do but in those situations in those situations that I'm a good boy and I don't eat it why why that's called uracil in it not because my organism is so in tuned with with the adrenaline that should be flowing through it at every moment that I look it I take it I do mindfulness and from a cheesecake it turns into what did you say it turns into a cup and then it just turns into a piece of grass and then it turns into kale and I don't like kale so I'm not in the mood of the Cheesecake anymore when I'm in a higher state of consciousness I could look at it and say there's really nothing in this for me there's there's nothing in this that's for me it's gonna go into my body and I'm just I'm betraying my body sometimes it's literally you're sorry and there's stuff basically when I eat it 20 minutes later I get depressed 20 minutes later I have to go to visit the Pope and then for three hours I'm trying to recover from the sugar and the carbs and the combination anybody relates to this you eat certain things and for three hours you're in a bad mood okay is that is that primitive it is where I am I know the consequences and when you're aware of consequences it's a very good thing that's not a bad thing I wouldn't call it guilt I would call it awareness I would call it awareness there's a higher level of year which is not about consequences it's about the relationship it's too powerful of a relationship that I'm gonna let it fall apart if I have a best friend whom I trust and the person trusts me and then somebody's talking about them negatively and there's a part of me that wants to contribute to the juice and conversation because I know more stories about them than anybody else and sometimes we're overtaken by that urge but I'm saying this is this is too precious it's too precious to me not because they're gonna find out and they're gonna you know do something to me not that even if nobody finds out it's impossible of course but even if nobody finds out it's just the the it's it's a betrayal of something sacred it's a betrayal of something sacred you know when somebody betrays a marriage for example if the marriage is sacred and if the person has been there for you and you have been there for them and you're married so you are there your soul mates it's not the consequences my wife will find out let's say she doesn't find out plenty of people go to Thailand and their wife's don't find out trust me what is it there's no consequence I'm talking about being a damaja very I'm not talking about with God knows but is it's a betrayal of the relationship I can't do this to you not because you're gonna find out because it's too precious it's still not over this is here but this is not none of this is guilt none of this is guilt I don't see this as guilt guilt is depression versus versus running to school because not because I'm a business or whatever whatever that's not guilt that's the relationship right she beat yourself up about it because we heard that like no more with depression I wish I feel guilty about the hour now or I shouldn't know the word guilt tire is just I think it's a word that's used so often people fill it so much I think it has to be dissected is there a guilt that's a good guilt yeah but I think our word guilt is too big and it includes a lot of things that shouldn't be so that's why I try to stay away from that word I would say I feel regret for something yes I feel remorse I said something to somebody that insulted them I feel remorse what so what do I do I could sit at home and say I'm the worst person in the world who gains from that who gains God let's say what what's the right call them up call them up and say I said something to you yesterday I apologize do you forgive me they might say no okay I may ask them again the next day or the next week fine they might say sure yes I say thank you that's it done boom Viton did I learn a lesson yeah I learned a great lesson that's it why am I sitting and wallowing in that space why what is this about this is not about what I did this is about that essentially I feel that I'm an unjustifiable creature my creation always has to be justified I always have to find excuses why I'm worthwhile and whenever there's a moment that I make a mistake it just reveals to me the truth that I'm really black I'm really evil that's it that's what happened and that's what I'm feeling I'm not even guilty about what I did because I would be guilty what I did you could fix it call up and apologize do chuhwa there's something called show for why don't you believe in it God says I forgive you and we say it's not true that's the greatest of course okay Hashem says I forgive you and we say it's not true it's not true God says I love you we say it's not true avisail Amalfitano it's not true not a guy like me you don't know me I said that's not that's called a peak Ursus that's what I would call up the courses the biggest of courses today is that you believe that God doesn't believe in you always that's I think the definition of epic curses in 2016 I don't think any people have issues with God today people have issues with themselves everybody believes in God nobody believes in themselves that's the biggest of the courses that God created you he loves you he wants you he forgives you he wants to be in this great relationship with you and I don't believe it I'm like I'm damaged I'm damaged I'm so scared I'm so wounded I'm such why I did this I did that okay you did too so what's a look at your tomorrows it says do truth I forgive you I forgive you it's over clean boom not next not only that if you do to like make your evaders intimate service in other words I appreciate your sins even your sins are lovable that's what the Kumari says in human it's not it's not Titus Luxur was dying it's not so likely they're lucky said it rich lucky I said Olsen's become it says why don't people because they were not focusing on this it's not your show maíam this is a wounded form this is a wounded form of religion where we see our relationship with God based on negativity we are ultimately really angry at him for giving us this religion that's what that's what I feel that the people that are serving God with guilt what they're really saying is I will never forgive God for giving me such a crazy repressive religion who what normal God would invent tyaga mitzvahs if not for sadism to crush and destroy people that's what is really going on subconsciously but you're now let us say this because then you're gonna get Gehenna right so the worst and abuses they now let us say you're abused you know that worse than worse than being abused is is ask anyone who went through abuse worse than being abused is that you're not to talk about it you have to smile you always have to smile that's much worse if I could talk about it okay it happened I got hurt here it is it's painful when I can't talk about it now what happens now I'm not even acknowledge that there was pain I'm not even acknowledge that there was darkness okay a lot of our guilt I think is a lot of us in a deep place believe the Judaism or the religion the way we practice it has elements that are very very difficult and it's like what God would want us like you really need chakras Manasseh - to fill in senses kutsher's larvae tests malakas of Shabbos boy look it's a Dutch it's like really I mean give me a break especially when you see the outside world and all of secularism and modernity is based on the fact that you do whatever you want whenever you want however you want wherever you want shop is Yom Tov seven days a week everybody does whatever they want ah and suddenly here oil oil MELAS melasma how do I get people to live a life where every detail is governed you can't even tie the shoe you want to tie first you can't even cut any nail all right there's a system how we cut nails stop even in the bathroom there are rules who gives rules in the bathroom even powder didn't mix into what happens in the bathroom in the beds with these rules for everything let us know broccolis the worst thing that ever happened coleslaw forget about it how do you deal with this how do you educate people with all of this and we're talking about through morality so the easy way to do it is yeah there's this big creature in heaven who's very powerful he has infinite muscles set the rules and if you don't listen and this is what's gonna happen so now what type of perception are people having of this creator what type of fool and the worst is you have to say I love him the half-dozen Shama latekka so therefore so we repress a lot of this and it comes out and guilt I think the guilt is not that that I miss domine the guilt is a symptom of a deep hatred or anger or frustration that I have towards a system that's really crushing me constantly but I can't say that because I'm afraid because I'm guilty so therefore I find other things than which to say it but I think it's an expression of that that's that's what I see very often you can ask any question you want in this well what oh actually I was joking was it Phil no no I said should I feel guilty that it's Solway no no I don't have a guilty feeling I do maybe I don't maybe subconscious couldn't be so colorful no I understood that again maybe maybe we're just using different words I think what's necessary for children is accountability acknowledgement a remorse I don't know why the way you want to use the word guilt fine I'm not an enemy of the word guilt I'm just very very strong what about in marriage could you have a marriage that's guilt-free say same cream wrappers or do people remain loyal to their wives out of guilt or not exactly the same if it's a very superficial marriage yes then probably you don't remain loyal we are on a deep level but that nobody believes it and therefore if we don't speak about deep levels because we underestimate that people are really deep look I have an app to take look at all these people are they not deep look at this young man really so you're all the crazy people you may speak for yourself Alya say I'm very normal holsters are always all wrong we don't come home without the guilt but a lot of husbands come home out of the guilt or their fortune afraid their wife it does somebody once told me the screaming that's gonna happen if I come home late it's not worth it that's fear I don't know consequence wasn't hard wired so you're saying it's a good thing so why should somebody come home before six if not so why do you want to be in show before bar home so what would be a different way of being motivated to be in she'll be full and I could spend time in a very special way I heard a Mesa from a year his name was dr. IRA Weiss he's a cardiologist in Chicago dr. IRA Weiss and the lebarge never had a suffered a heart attack the middle of a coffin mini at Sarah's one year one heart attack a double heart attack was like almost cardiac arrest they didn't think he'll make it insure the middle of our office and he went to his room and he stayed in his room for some Christina Schmidt I said Hillary straightish kiss love was was Dada a month and a half they made like a hospital and knock Tyree rice came from Chicago on surface toilet serve as a cardiologist so Rishikesh Christa finally let him go home go back he lived on President Street from from Shirley they have like this many hospital so doctor who I said that he saw the Rebbe very excited that he's going home so he thought he says he said why he's so excited to go home so he thought he would say that you know whatever can have some privacy I could just go back to my normal life etc he said that I have a custom for many many all the years I have tea with my wife every day we drink tea for 20 minutes and for me that is as precious as putting on tefillin that's as precious as putting on tefillin ah so that's what he was very happy he could do that so you know there's like and I think that the do commence it says Misano metallic in the words of the Reverend says in takuna Zohar that was mercifully attempt okones OA that Tobias of condition says because it's a passive condition is basically the pin of of tefillin there itsuo soft filling is the it's like the Tobias that you put on every day in Makati know that the marriage is a Marshall from merit in Hashem in the Jewish people this is a maintainer but part I think is prospective for that you have to have a relationship some people don't want it t twenty minutes you wanted to say something and I think it's time to watch Monday tomorrow there's no Sheerness I'm not will continue this on Monday will continue something on Monday this is important say what you want to say I mean with you what you should be selling or whatever it is I didn't find out about the Torah till I was 30 years old speak loud you don't find it over the turtle you're 30 I was 30 and 35 years ago and we had a hibachi it was in my house we living in rise of nice life everything was wonderful and I learned my first Russian it was empty snakes the scorpions and then the relationship of of no water is death and water was Torah and without that there's no life and it flipped a switch inside of me and from that moment off for this 35 years the more I do I found that but since us I want to win at night good will show tonight whoa well go are you sure if I miss barkow okay so are through some of the kids that I got there but I want to go if I'm fully sick good night I mean I didn't davon good I get to I get to domine I know that it sounds didn't sound like lager I've experienced well they come there F of these yeah I know I never feel and I honestly truly feel sorry for them for that so I feel sorry for myself that you a lot of the words you're saying he's I'm it's coming it's coming I have enough time to sit together of having to work and support and things like this but to do all these things and I'm involved with a tensed organization I'm helping out how do you want it and it's I came home from sheer when we first started this and I've heard about buddy you hood her back and you to lay back I was how was it and I started going this telling you done that that was luckier if it is you got to do and then with the time it's a cold morning and you got to read really late and you have a lot of excuses and you'll have to do that day remember this feeling because staying in bed for an extra hour you're not gonna have it so connecting into the to the joy of learning to the joy of going going to to the joy of being actual to joy of sitting at Achilles ever for bringing and all the other stuff that happens in life and it happens to all of us all the other things and and if you miss something what I do with the guilt I missed it we have a things yeah you missed you missed Mincha because you advance through all the changes I didn't grow up in sama put you in my pocket so now you think if you take this feeling away from kids no guilty one with them they'll be less from a more from what you think they don't have to have this I miss men come the worst thing ever I'm gonna be in denim forever or wow I could do another Meyers the first time I did you give us we will about to read the I know the rep is a big guys an important guy oh I should have a big question I was in the very beginning of my finally out of a lunatic and I'm online waiting waiting and now I'm before the river so I had no question and I wasn't overwhelmed but a question came out of me and I was shocked to hear because I didn't think of it wasn't that intellectually generated I said how can I change my desires and lusts for things in the world the desires in less Vitara well I was surprised to hear the question the read was I said I should beat the simpler and a little more did that and I walked away after that Oh what I'm mr. happy look at okay advice is this what kind of an answer is this but then over the next thirty plus years when things happen and I have this tremendous Bruck of a simple that the rebel gave me clearly that's my take on it that okay this happens let's deal with it so you asked it but how could you change your lust you know what lost our desires and tie the siren for Elam Haase for this to be Ducie to tighter lusts and desires of this world for Tyler yes so the Rebbe his advice was you should be Basim huh yes think about that what rubbish um I never went to high school having two son my children are you kidding I have big fights with you like their heads up this is a regime of private school I supposed to get some kind of individualized this year the kid needs and I see some of these closes up for some of these guys will hold themselves as as Yoshi Shiva's that they're having this I mean I said are you giving up I would spit on those guys if it wasn't zero but it's an interesting idea most people wouldn't think how do you change your loss from this world for my left a tradition through simcha through guilt this class is brought to you by the achieve Annette please help us continue the classes make even a small contribution at triple w dot a yeshiva net / donate