Torah Ohr Vayechi Chachlili #2 "Between Red & White Wine" | Rabbi YY Jacobson

me yeah how are things in Manchester this morning okay amen amen so you're following all the sh say like to I'm yeah okay is there lockdown in Manchester sorry lockdown in Manchester not lock okay should stay healthy everybody should be healthy you could see me clearly yes and hear me thank you oh okay good morning everybody Welcome to our early morning Shear we just had Sunrise a few minutes ago here sunrise today was approximately 7:20 a.m. here uh on uh December 30th 2020 as we prepare to Bid Farewell to uh 2020 but do not bid farewell to 2020 Vision because the vision that you and I and we may have developed in 2020 can sustain us and give us a lot of perspective for the future of our lives and the future of humanity and the future of our world we're going to continue the mimer today we began the M last Monday by the balat par the so if you haven't done it yet please go to the.net you'll see on the top there's a video it says Wednesday live now and is Wednesday and on top of it there's a green icon download and when you click on that you can download the source sheet or you'll also see near it an i ion Source sheet view Source sheet and that will fill up your screen in lie of the video the video will be moved to the side so if you want to have both on the screen or you want to download your Source sheet both options are available just announce what's been going on recently so we uh yesterday we had a woman's sheer we learned a a piece of how managed to forgive his brothers and not want to take revenge from them after yakov's passing an incredible and Powerful Insight of an insight for each of us an insight for life it's the women's class yesterday you could see it on the yeshiva.net it's titled how to forgive we also posted a class I gave gave to women some time ago on par it's titled B the wolf and P it deals with uh the special blessing that yakob gave bamin which seems very strange because as Rashi says he was alluding to the story of the concubine and giv one of the most tragic and horrific stories in the Tanakh what would be the blessing in that story we discussed that at length it's quite a profound and uh transformative idea and then some other recent classes that we have posted on the yeshiva.net if you like yish I gave a speech to uh my friends special uh group of involved with special needs people of Rim you may enjoy that as well so it's all there on the yeshiva.net tomorrow morning Thursday there will also be a class I hope to continue and perhaps conclude this Mim a brief summation Yakov blesses his children blesses Yehuda and the blessing to Yehuda includes the verse where he says red eyed from wine and white toothed from milk in other words there will be an abundance of grapes an abundance of animals Grazing In healthy past posture in the territory of Yehuda hence an abundance of wine and an abundance of milk but there's also a deeper layer of explanation which is the focus of this m balat began to discuss that generally there are two states of love and he began to discuss what is means an eternal love but he translates it here interestingly as a love of the world a love of of the world which is the love to Hashem that is born and created and taken and revealed from the world from the experience of life it's the zest and the passion for True Life for the ultimate life for the truth of the world that is and it's in both directions there's our love and directly and and always reciprocal we say what is the definition of that's the beginning of the M focuses on and then in the next paragraph the bat goes over to a r the focus on a is he says a person needs to become a wear this is something called his it's a daily exercise where we train ourselves and our minds and it's a major focus in davening and meditation to be able to appreciate the fact that all of life and all of reality and every aspect in our own individual lives and in the world around us is essentially pulsating Divine energy to be able to look at the world to look at yourself and to see what the bat would call often the the power of the Creator within the creation in other words to be able to see within every single reality of our world the Divine to be able to see it as an expression of God's love and God's interest and God's connection and God's relationship yes it's very easy to take things for granted that's why the instituted so many bras so many blessings of gratitude of appreciation every morning the moment we wake up all the we thank hasem for the roosters wisdom to distinguish between day and night thank him for opening our eyes for unlocking our limbs allowing us to stand up to walk for for to stand erect to be able to have clothes to dress ourselves to have all the materials in the world that can dress us to get a new Vigor and energy replenished after we go to sleep I'm going through the different blessings and so on and so forth what's the objective of all of this the objective of all this is to open up a person to be able to appreciate the Miracle of Life and Ne never to take for granted every breath we make and every move we make and never to take for granted all of the functions of our biological life of our living living organism and of every living organism in the world and of the entire Planet the ecosystem and the entire Cosmos the entire universe and to be able to see the truth and that is nothing happens on its own everything is created literally May Le from nothing to something every single day a new and therefore what does it really mean to love the world what does it mean to love life it means to love the real world to love the truth of Life what is the truth of Life what is the truth of the world only one thing the Divine reality of it even though it's concealed it's Eclipse we live in a world where everything could be concealed but that is the EMS the EM of the truth is that everything is said is is G Hashem is everything and everything is Hashem in other words there is a Oneness meansem is hasem is one doesn't only mean there is one God versus the polytheists we're introduced in monotheism of course it means that too but it also means Hashem is when you're dealing with Hashem what's the what's the first definition if I could use the word definition for Hashem is that it's that it's one that it's oness that it's everything it's all inclusive because the entire universe is an aspect of divine energy a manifestation of divine energy beginning with the person himself or herself that awareness creates a very deep connection a very deep attachment a very powerful love that's called and the balat continues now another aspect in this love with the last line of the First Column we finished the words you see the last line of the First Column of the if you didn't download your Source sheets you could download them now so you'll be able to follow inside if you go to the yeshiva.net that's if you're on Zoom somebody maybe could put it on Zoom but it's the yeshiva.net and on top you'll see this Wednesday there's an icon download it's a green icon you can click on it and you'll see Source sheets you can download or nearby there's a source sheet icon which you can click on and the screen will fill with the source sheet so you can follow inside so he says this is the meditation that you give life to all and it's not like the soul that vivifies the body when we're talking about the soul and the body the soul is the Soul's energy is misit it extends and it's manifested it's enclosed literally in the body to give it life and the soul is therefore affected by the body the two become completely unified but here but here even though Hashem creates everything and animates everything nonetheless we still call him which means his Infinity remains KES KES means aloof Sublime What vivifies all the worlds could be defined as his esas an extension it would be like the ray of the Sun that extends from the Sun and brings light and warmth to our environment it's an extension what you may call his name like we say in the morning he was a king before anybody was created you remember from this morning when he created everything because of his desire then then he suddenly gets the name of a m he is a before anything was created when everything is created as then his name suddenly becomes a m so the balat uses this phrase and his point is that the name of the king is what defines the relationship of the Mel to the subjects the name of the king we say in daving every single morning may your name be praised forever we say this often your name should be praised for her what's the idea of a name what's the definition of name like we learned also in the M bani that we learned last week 5721 part one and we're going to continue part two next Sunday bani 1961 what's the idea of a name you don't need a name for yourself when a person is talking to themselves I mean you could call yourself by name but it's not necessary because you know yourself from inside a name is something used by another person to call you to pull you in to Define you to think of you we think of others is in terms of names I want to speak to you so I call you by your name in other words the name is necessary in order to have a relationship with somebody outside of you in more abstract terms the name is the concept of your name your reputation the way you're perceived and experienced by others so that's the idea of that it's hashem's name so to speak that gives life to all the worlds what do what do we mean his name it's the aspect of divine energy that can be somewhat grasped articulated defined and experienced by the creation because the the energy that vivifies every single thing we call this m in the what's malal Mal means it's tailor made it's harnessed it's channeled and it's restricted for to every single creature according to its capacity every single existing being has its own unique chemistry that unique chemistry is divine energy its own DNA sequence which is essentially a manifestation a very detailed and Nuance Divine energy that suits the the makeup the composition of this particular n and that's called Shay his name his name again is the way he is experienced by the other which is basically limited to the capability of the other how much of you do I know I know your name does it mean I know your name I don't know your essence your name is I know your reputation I know that which I can grasp of you that's the definition of the name and this is and even this is infinite this is why we say the famous words of thees we say may the great name of Hashem be blessed may it be blessed for eternity for eternity of Eternity is will he be blessed forever says what's this what's this request we're praying and asking that this name this name of should be should be revealed and communicated from a state of concealment into a state of Revelation the name of should be what's the idea of the word we say is a blessing what does it really come from we have in m in you have an expression means if you bend a Vine you take a Vine and you take a branch of the vine and you bend it instead of just allowing it to grow you bend it because you want it to grow in a new place so you take a long branch of the vine and you bend it and you replant it you replant it in the Earth and you hope that a new sapling will grow from this bent Branch what is the so what's the word ham H is whenever you take something from the source and you try to draw it and communicate it and bring it into a new space into a new environment we call a pool a what's a a means basically you fill up an empty cavity a sistern or or a pool whatever the a pit with water that comes either from a Wellspring or from a well or in today's technology we actually have the pipes the forets of water that communicate the water into the pool so it's drawing the water from the source into a new environment that's called a so what's the idea of the name of Hashem is the name of hasem but it may not be revealed we may not be able to experience it it may remain concealed so we say it should come out to revelation hashem's reality in the world could remain completely in a state of concealment so it's called he's of course paraphrasing the in laments that people fear God and all their Mitzvah are just robotic they behave like zombies it's just by habit there's no passion there's no involvement so uses the words your knowledge of God is just trained you say it's just means you know things by habit you don't know them you just know them by habit you told your whole life that this is how we speak so this becomes part of your vocabulary but it's not internalized one of the dangers vocabulary is we say things so many times that we just get used to to say saying them without thinking about it so I could say but not once in my life should I actually stop and ask myself what does this mean what is my experience of it what is my relationship with it it's just they tell the story of about he was a very close student of the of the Holy mag of M the student of the B and his father-in-law was not happy that he went to the maret they say that once he came was a huge gone he was was a great great G from the great going of his generation he was azin of of B communities he wasn't think was just an emotional nice man he was a very emotional person but he was a gone and the many of them were were I mean great great great be talking about people the stature of the B great great so he once came to father-in-law and he was came home and his father-in-law says Rich what do you what did you find what what are you looking for him as Rich so says got of the I wanted to become aware that there is a God in the world I wanted to learn that there's a God in the world so I went to Mich so there was a a a maid a Jewish maid servant she would clean in the house she would help in the house he was a he was a wealthy Jew an affluent Jew and he took the B he wasn't yet the B he took as a son-in-law to support him so he should continue to learn because he was you know a rising star in the in the in the Jewish World of Ukraine so he was disappointed that he's running to Mich to the maget he says he went to to find out that there's a God in the world let's call the maid and he calls in this fine wonderful Jewish girl who's cleaning in the house never got an education and he says s got of the there's a God in the world so she says for sure what's the question it's a it's a Jewish girl so the father says you see she knows that she never went to as Rich so the bad said he said these words he really probably wanted to say but he was respectful he says there's a difference between saying and experiencing this is what the m is saying things just become part of the training it becomes robotic and the reason it becomes robotic is I just grew up with it is it should be it should be communicated from a state of concealment from a state of truth but it's not relatable to me in a in a place of again what is when you give a br to somebody it's the same thing what's a blessing what's the concept of a blessing a blessing is that every person in their Source in their inner core has tremendous energy giving a br means you help them access it you help reveal it you help draw it from The Source into a more revealed State So Divine Consciousness is embedded into every creature into every existence including the human being including the Jew but I want it should be so that's the difference M or m v and by the way this is one of one it's just it's just I think an interesting thing to note it's one of the advantages when a person is involved with bringing other Jews closer to yides what they call kir where you're involved with other people to inspire them what happens is they'll often ask you questions or bring up topics that you have never thought of and it challenges you to crystallize your own Judaism it challenges you to go much deeper into yourself and ask yourself what does my daving look like what does my learning look like what is my Judaism all about what type of relationship with God do I have is it just I repeat like a parrot what I heard I just do everything in routine or there's a there's a life there's a pus there's an experience there I'm not just repeating words there's a real real experience is a relationship a relationship means I'm not just following the text and doing what other people told me to do which is fine but it's ultimately empty it's missing a depth it's missing a passion but there is a real real there's a relationship there it's a relationship so the B says that's the name should be communicated not but and this is not is a big thing means that the Jew acknowledges it and it's real when that girl says it's very real it's very authentic but there is and then there's he says it should be revealed in my brain and in my heart in the ultimate authentic and truthful way because there's no replacement for this and that's why you'll see a lot of cynicism you'll see by intelligent people EMS you'll see cynicism what's the C ISM coming from huh I see somebody's really nodding very hard with their head what's the cynicism coming from the cynicism is coming exactly from this I'm intelligent if I'm not intelligent okay but there's somebody who's very intelligent and things have to be real if it's not ultimately I know I'm playing a game it's stick you know you know I go with the flow but there's an element of cynicism and sarcasm and cynicism and sarcasm Come From Fear And they also come from sadness and they also come from a certain despe it's like you know what I mean let's it's enough already it's enough the B that you sold me already as a child one of the tremendous tremendous things that happens when you start learning when you start learning the of the bat and especially the T of the B I'm not talking about you you come and you learn and you learn every day and youer and you internalize and you think about it and you review it with yourself and with your spouse and with your children and you review it again and you start learning it is you start understanding what he just says you could start relating to what he just said the the the once said a and from the there's a certain uh externality and superficiality a person could become accustomed to but you start learning you start seeing there's a seriousness there's a depth there's an authenticity a maturity that you could connect to and you realize the powerful Infinity within yourself and within the world of course every person according to their own capacity but in our world filled with sarcasm and filled with cynicism and filled with anxiety and filled with pain and filled with distress this can be a lifesaver it becomes because it connects you to layers of the self that are infinite and this is the blessing the the shame which is the source of all existence that should be there's in my brain and in my heart it should be what's it could be communicated in higher worlds it should also come even into the all the worlds even the lowest Worlds the physical world we say from the world to World which world the is could Bei because again the Divine connection could be very aloof but I don't feel it it doesn't come into my world doesn't come into my reality it doesn't fill my brain it doesn't fill my anxiety this was the exact purpose why our sages instituted the structure of daving to go through the whole which basically here includes from the beginning of daving all the way through and all the afterwards until until we're getting ready for all the way till krishma you have the blessings before what is it all about what's the point of saying this again and again and again people get very bored I once asked I asked somebody a friend of mine so he likes to talk about these things so I asked him if he asked me he says he told me that he asked a couple of friends of his intelligent people he's an affluent Jew if you would if you would if you would have the ability it's an interesting question if you would had the ability to change some things in Judaism what would you change if you if God says I want your advice I want to change a couple of things in in yish what would you change and he told me that every one of them immediately said daving the davening the long dings every day was what was the problem he said they're just they're they're so bored they're just bored they're bored again and again and the truth is that it's very natural to get bored it's very natural to get monotonous I'm going to say the same words again and again the only way you could not be bored by daving is if you don't get bored with yourself because the text may be the same but the person is never the same somebody once somebody asked how he DAV every day without getting bored it's the same text and he said yes the text is the same but the person is not the same a person is constantly experiencing new things life is constantly in flux and change and therefore the text of DAV becomes a sour of Rejuvenation where the human being is today and then he says to the student and if the person is the same like yesterday then he says it's not the davening that's boring it's the person who's boring don't blame the davening you're boring so the daving is boring if you're not bored with yourself then the daving is not boring it always it always has news to it because the daving is the challenge to be able to realign myself daily with my true trest vulnerable Essence and that's a daily exercise the ability to go into my Center every day to go into my most balanced anchored space to the core of core and realign myself every day with the with the inner core of my energy and the energy of the world which is divine this is a constant daily says all day because you could do this all day you could do this work has to be done all day you do it in the morning you do it in the morning and it's it's not so much about how much time it's really the the Simas slave the focus the tuning into it I told you once theb said the med says says to a Jew open up open up your heart to me like the is like the point of a needle tiny opening and I will open for you the door of I will open I will create for you an opening like the door of theam the was the inter intermediary hallway between the outer section of the the intersection they didn't have doors so the said give me five minutes of your day but these five minutes should belong exclusively to me you know you could take a walk with your spouse and you could walk for two hours but you're on the phone and then sometimes you could bond for five minutes but those five minutes each one feels that they have each other you belong to me I belong to you give me you here give me five minutes but these five minutes should be only mine that's the idea of it's the point of a needle so the hope all the way is to this is to elaborate to expand the conversation you'll see all its message in one way or another is to engrave and inculcate and integrate within a person's mind and heart that life is essentially a relationship with infinity that every moment of life every breath of life every experience of life is Mal it's divine it's sacred it's infinite it's full of love and meaning and purpose that relationships that connectivity that Oneness is the DNA of existence that I'm not alone in the world that I'm not an isolated creature that my entire existence is right now A manifestation of divine love and divine energy that's what it is or as somebody famously put it that at every moment I am an ambassador of Love Light hope healing authenticity and Redemption some of us are junior ambassadors some of us are ambassadors in training but every single one of us is divine light in this world I'm not just a piece of meat and potato a neb case or a loser or a dejected scarred person I may have scars I may have wounds I may have been dejected I may have my struggles but essentially what is a person what is life it's your Mal it's divine energy that is Mal that animates everything and therefore you're always connected you're always connected with infinity you're always connected with love you're always healthy and wholesome at your core this is to align yourself with the to realize you're not selfish to realize you're not superficial to realize you're not brute to realize you're not ugly and grotesque to realize you're not unwanted or unneeded to realize that you are a manifestation of divinity in this world that's what you are that's and not just you when I see it in me I see it in you and in you and in you and in you and even in you I'm talking to you and I see it even in you because I could see it in myself I see it in my spouse and I see it in my children I see it with every person I come and contact with and I see it in the squirrel and I see it in the groundhog and I see it in the deer the deer that are here roaming around they want to hear the she the deer here near my window the deer it's not a joke by the way the B was once daving and there were a bunch of goats the was ding outside a bunch of goats and you know what happened yeah I heard this from the Reb ones the goats the middle of the B daving stood up on two feet they stood up on two feet like a person and they were standing in complete so the said when the goats also experienced their own Divine energy relative to the experience of a goat but the goats also felt the energy was daving so the point here in daving every person according to the own capacity when they begin they begin daving daving is an exercise to go back to who you really are to go back to the essence and the core of your existence to see the soul in you to see the soul in another person and to see the soul in the world and what does it mean to see the soul to see the pus to see the goodness to see the Zite to see the elus and in addition to this he says this there two components in the his says that his father is the m is discussing together the lower level of unity the higher level of unity meaning on one hand to be able to understand that the whole world is divine energy but also to understand that this is all the name of it's the way the energy is restricted and harnessed and channeled in every single creature which has already posted many many restrictions in order for it to be tailor made and then there's the understanding that Hashem himself Transcendence Infinity doesn't become trapped or defined by anything this is all a preparation for what's the word means listen hear but in doesn't only mean hear hear what I'm saying in they say deaden to get it is means I get it I internalize it I really understand it this is all a preparation for a person to meditate on the truth that Hashem is one what does it mean hasem is one not only that there's one God that God created the whole world and is responsible for the whole world that's true that's the basics but he says it's even deeper than this the word is says is one is eight this incl the seven heavens and earth the is the four directions of the world east west and south and north they are all aligned and nullify to the to the on is which is means the leader of the world just as in the physical world there are seven Heavens there are States of Consciousness one deeper there's a heaven and another heaven and another Heaven another heaven and when you finish with one Heaven you get to the second heaven and when you finish with the second heaven you get to the third heaven it's not just seven Heavens Seven Levels physical levels Zim represents this Heaven above heaven above heaven above heaven endless and ultimately each of them all of them are aligned and nullified in the Oneness of hem that's to be able to understand the complete Oneness of the world if everything is completely submerged in Oneness how is there an experience of a world the answer is cuz because Hashem takes his oness and he communicates it into his name what's his name the name is the Divine energy the way it's imparted and articulated in a way that the world can grasp it and this is this is what creates this is what creates the world in this is known as the higher unity and the lower Unity the is the idea of and then there says the lower level of unity is the way that the energy is imparted and restricted so that there can be a consciousness of the self from the great of in the the of is a large from the comes there's a communication remember is communication the energy is drawn to become a name that will impart hashem's Mal what is Mal Mal is leadership you can't have be a m without a people it's the Mal of that allows there for there to be separate Consciousness separateness so this is the meditation of is that comes after the D meaning after the whole introduction remember that in the time of the first bik till the second bik there was no introduction to kma you woke up in the morning and you said shma without preparation today we have the structure of ding that comes later in Jewish history bat explains in explains it in and in other places we learned some of those that this is in order to be able to help a person experience the in a real way because as we also learned toh in other Generations he says there were great sadik and there were great Sinners the experience of the Divine was so immediate and therefore the experience of idolatry was also so serious he says in later generations it changed the spiritual dullness set into the world you also don't have that gravitation to idolatry what does this mean in our lives that the daving is a preparation to be able to come to this state of means that there is complete Oneness everything is one with infinity submerged in the infinite reality and then there's Infinity gives rise to finiteness but the DNA of finiteness is also Infinity the way Infinity is compressed within the finite world this is the cause this is the source of healing the person reaches V what's v you should love love is a very very deep feeling it's a very to be able to love you have to be open to be able to love I have to be able to extricate myself from my traumas and my fears and my insecurities love is vulnerable love is I expose myself to love I allow you into my life and I allow me and you allow me into your life and the two lives mesh together love is very powerful how do how do you reach place of love I should love today when you say you say we say and we mention love seven times do you know that in that we mention love seven times your homework today if you didn't DAV yet is to count the seven times of love and I don't mean to count now now you could trust me I mean when you're dominate to be able to focus in on every time of love and then stop yeah and you could count you could count you'll see seven times of Love seven times love because it's not so simple love it's very simple but it's not so simple when I live in fear so the the love is the natural state of existence but it's also something that I can block myself to so the question is when I say can I stop take a deep breath and really experience the emotion of God loving me because then I could say I can also love what is the feeling of somebody really really loving you do you know what it feels like somebody loving you unconditionally absolutely without any restrictions without any limitations without any conditions without any strings attached did you ever feel it did you ever feel that love so the balatan says after we go through this then there could be a real V I can really be completely open to love but that means I'm completely open I'm very vulnerable he says the word means you should love it comes from the word which means desire because love is desire what is the desire here he says the desire is V you should then desire you will desire Al writes V is both a commandment but it's more than that it's a prediction when you realize Oneness then you're going to want that hasem should be that godliness should be your god what does it mean your God that it's that which motivates you it energizes you with all your heart as the say the chapter n all the parts of your heart both your and both your inclinations because even the darkness becomes transformed because your R goes away from vanity to Oneness that's what the PK says in who do I want in heaven and with you I desire nothing on Earth why because in life I have to choose the T or the I'm looking for the truth or I'm looking for the package for the coverups when you buy a banana when you take a banana you harvest a banana do I focus only on the peel or do I want the banana do I eat only the orange peel or do I get to the inside of the fruit when you buy something in the store that has a package do you just celebrate the packaging or do you open up the package and you take out the insides everybody knows the packaging is just external so the packaging of our world the externalities of our world seem very very mundane but really what is it it's all the so so every moment of life you you will desire that should be that my heart shouldn't become addicted and entangled with superficialities of life I always want to be in a state ofus meaning what's a state ofas connected to the pus connected to the essence connected to the core in every moment you say but you have says that's the that ultimately I train myself that when I look at something what am I looking for I'm looking for the emis of it I'm looking for the pus of it just like with food you can get consumed by the external look of it you know a beautiful piece of uh of cake but it may be poisonous for you but you want to look for the Insight what type of nutritious value does it have I know it's easier said than done because the glitter of the outside is so powerful but that's what a trained heart and a trained Soul does you become in tuned with the pus you start you stop getting Intoxicated by Theus by the outer glamour even if it looks good because that means nothing the whole world of advertisement is based on impressing people with certain Impressions and advertisements to make them feel that without buying this new tatka this new Gadget I am going to be miserable right you see this advertisement this promotion if you don't get this tomorrow and I'm sorry tomorrow is too late if you don't buy this within the next 20 minutes you will be in geham for the rest of your life and this is a multi-billion dollar industry of psychologically keeping people addicted people are talking now about the social dilemma the way that uh experts have designed modern technology to keep you on the screen nonstop and they do it they do it successfully they do it successfully we all know I I know I know for my own struggle and I think we all know they there this little satka you think that you own it you don't own it it owns you you don't own it I know you paid a couple hundred you don't own it it owns you it takes you from one to another and the psychology is brilliant we don't realize we're slaves we become slaves to other people's expectations as somebody once said that uh when you're when you're browsing the web or you're browsing Facebook you think you think you're the customer you're the client no no no you're the product you're the product the you're not the customer you're the product they're selling you the designers of Facebook use you you're the product they get you from this place to this place to this place they use you you're the product that's what you are you're the slave mature people do this we sell ourselves people want to know what about slavery we sell ourselves into slavery nobody has to sell us into slavery we sell ourselves Lincoln might might have emancipated the slaves but we sell ourselves into slavery and in this slavery there's no difference between blacks and whites we're all slaves we all become what's is the ability to be able Hashem is saying when you realize the Oneness you're going to want you're going to want to be connected to the truth of reality every moment you want vacus you don't want to get fooled by the outer layers you want the outer layers to be a conduit for the inner core for the inner energy me this is the basic this is now in my opinion the balatan could stop here and I already have work for life I have work for life could stop here is pretty powerful this is the AA that comes from the world from studying the world from understanding the world you see this in any any aspect of life whether you're studying science you look at science you look at physics you look at mathematics you look at biology you look at astronomy you look at cosmology you look at geology you look at B wherever you are in the world you look at yourself from my flesh I perceive God as the PK says in EF that's all now he goes to Stage B stage two which is a which we will basem continue tomorrow morning 7:30 let me take some questions for [Music] you spoke about how davening can be very monotonous but the same is true about the weekly par the same is true when I learn again the same blar or mishna or whatever else I'm learning again maybe if it's less frequent it's not so boring daving is three times a day but the truth is I always find new and deeper meaning in the par new and deeper meaning into the mishna new and deeper meaning into the gamar and even daily davening the trick is there's always deeper meaning in the words and a deeper relationship that you find in the words and a new discovery yeah I think I think you're you're very powerful that I think it's very powerful and very well said are you saying that when you say you deserve this new expensive thing I don't deserve it yes I'm saying that when they say you deserve this new expensive thing it sounds like they're flattering you but I'm not sure if they're trying to flatter you or you just turning to the product so it's just important at every moment to be in a state of ofus in a state of of Oneness next question what happens if you were if you suffered from trauma during your childhood and as a result of that you can't open yourself to love because you don't trust the world oh this is a good question this is a good question this is a question that many of us have to deal with and uh the first the first stag is awareness that's the first stage my father and mother have abandoned me but God took me in the first state the first step towards healing is awareness being a Weare that I close up that I lock up that I'm on lock down I don't mean Corona lockdown I mean emotional lockdown that I'm unlock down I will not let anybody in and not only will I not let anybody in but often when somebody tries to get in I distance them even more and I get even more angry at them why because since deep down I feel so undeserving of Love or I feel so much inner shame or guilt or embarrassment or loneliness your attempt to uncover my deeper sweeter spot is often not appreciated it's it's scary for me it's dangerous for me and therefore I get angry at you I get upset at you I may even feel that if you like me there's something wrong with you there must be something really wrong with you I I don't want a relationship cuz why would you want me so there must be something very very off about you or very dysfunctional about you the bottom line is that my thought process is distorted my experience of the self and therefore of others is very very narrow and very very off I do not have the ability to experience life with the full depth and breadth of experience of Consciousness so just being aware of that is so so helpful helpful because then you can identify what's going on you could see how it Evol you could see how it develops in your life you could see how it impacts you and then you could start making choices and you may also want the guidance and the help of somebody who's a real expert in this area to help you be able to see your patterns and help you see how it's impacting you how it has impacted you and the various options that are available in order to bring you to a deeper place thank you for opening us up to that conversation I wish you all a beautiful and meaningful and inspiring day filled with a tomorrow morning 7:30 [Music] oh AB [Music] I [Laughter] by [Music] [Laughter] ab ab oh [Music] you're thanking us for the the niggan or for the shear okay okay galic