We Are Not Stuck, We Can Change! - Erev Yom Kippur ‘21 [Archives]

His heart that knows all our actions are written down. And at that time Hashem is coming with Mishnah and all our actions are called Nalum and all the things that are hidden and for good or for bad. For a person is judged in Rosh Hashanah and it's day and it's sealed and signed on Yom Kippur. And at a time when a person is aware that he's being judged in front of an earthly king does he not have a great fear? And he's thinking of plans in his heart. He's seeing where his escape is. Where his path to getting a good din is. He's thinking hard. Tremendous tremendous to try to plan how he's going to win the din. He's so focused on his din. He's so engulfed in his din. He doesn't even think. It's not a It's not It's not a to focus right or left and to be in other to be in other desires. All that he's thinking about is his din. And of course says the Rebbeinu Yonah has come in the camera on the Yomim Noraim, Yemei Hadin V'Hamishpat. V'einam yodim mayim mishpatam. Certainly, it makes sense that a person is focused on his din. And Rebbeinu Yonah advises v'ro'ui l'chol yirei Elokim and he advises us and certainly on our last day, where it's even shayach to be oisek in other asakim, certainly we pay heed to Rebbeinu Yonah. He says it's ro'ui l'chol yirei Elokim l'ma'et ba'asakav to be m'ma'et in other asakim v'lihiyos an oisek nif- nifchatam. His thoughts should be settled, not focused on other things. And it should be kovei'a bayom uvalailah time l'hisboded b'chadarav b'chadarav, to think in his in the in his private chambers and private places and to be m'chapes darkhav v'lacheker. He says, "Certainly during the Aseres Yemei Teshuvah, certainly to us who are holding on the last day, the last weekday of the Aseres Yemei Teshuvah, it's ro'ui for yirei Elokim to be m'ma'et in other asakim and to be kovei'a time l'hisboded b'chadarav. Time, lonesome time, quiet time, to think, to be misboded, to search his actions, to see through his actions. He says as well v'lishboi'a si'ach, it's an eis t'filah. La'asos t'filah v'rinah l'ha'afil t'inah. V'hei eis eis ratzon. These 10 days are an eis ratzon. V'ha't'filah nishma'as ba. The t'filah of a person is accepted during this time, like it says in the pasuk in Yeshayahu, b'eis ratzon anisi'acha. Uv'yom yeshu'ah azarticha. He brings as well the Gamara in Yevamos, "Dirshu Hashem Bimtzoi." Which seek Hashem when he is found. These are the Asara Yemei Teshuva and Yom Kippur. So, Rabbeinu Yonah describes the Yirei Hashem who's quite focused at this time. He's reminded in other askanim and he's busy focused on being mikayer his maasim. And he mentions as well in Aish Tefillah that his tefillah is l'shma. So, at this time that all of us who want to be who desire all of us here desire to be Yirei Hashem and we're taking time out to think about our din. Sh'tiklah and Tzeiva certainly we should pay heed to the words of Rabbeinu Yonah in our private time as well. Spend some time in the last few hours before Yom Kippur. Times of hisbodedus alone to think to think through our actions to think through our ways. At this man I think there's a message of Yom Kippur that I want to share with everybody here. In Shaarei Teshuva Rabbeinu Yonah gives a mashal that occurred to me a a while back it occurred to me that the mashal is much more profound than I thought all the years. There's a very famous kasha on this mashal of Rabbeinu Yonah and I always allowed the question on the mashal to distract me from something that is said here that is profound that I think might be one of the maybe the most important thought for all of us on the last two days of Asara B'Teishuva. Perhaps the most important thought. The The famous mashal of the of Rabbeinu Yonah right at the beginning of Shaarei Teshuva he brings a mashal of katzalisam to a group of robbers "Sh'chav Hashem Melech B'veisa Asurim." The The king locks these robbers in jail because of my terrace and they dig out a path out of the jail and they all escape. The robbers, this group of robbers, dig away out of jail and they escape. Vinisha and one of the robbers, one of the people in jail remains in jail despite that there's a way out. Boss, sar bais asaya, the one in charge of the jail comes and he sees the mach terrace asura. He sees that there's a dug out hole out of the jail by issue I don't know what's there and there's one man, the jail is empty for all have escaped and there's one man who doesn't who's who's just standing there. By yach I save my tail. And the head of the jail smacks him with a stick. Omar lawyer and he says to this unfortunate human being, "Hello, you mach terrace asura fan echo. The hole is dug in front of you. The echo in your heart you more on a checker. How don't you save yourself?" My whole life I was distracted. I had a cashew for many years in this martial which I still have but I don't want to talk about it. I was distracted. My whole life when I heard this martial of the prisoner who has a way out and doesn't escape, I thought Rebbe Nachman was looking for a situation where somebody has a great possibility, a great opportunity and he doesn't take advantage of it. Being a sports fanatic, I always visualize second and third, nobody out, playoffs, down by a run, bottom nine. Opportunity, a little sacrifice fly, the first one comes in. Ground ball, the second, second one comes in, you win. Opportunity. And the the shame of not taking advantage of opportunity. An out, two outs, for heaven's sake, will bring in both runs. Opportunity. And what a crime, what a shame, not to take advantage of opportunity. I figured he was born before Abner Doubleday. So he didn't know about baseball. So Reb Yonah's mashal was opportunity. Jail, it opens up, you could have escaped. You didn't. That's what I thought. He looked for opportunity. He gave us the shame of somebody not taking advantage of opportunity. That was the depth I thought of Reb Yonah's mashal. And it occurred to me there's something so much deeper he's saying. There's something so much more profound and so much more exact about the mashal. I suspect that if we want in the last 24 hours before Yom Kippur to learn one thing, to grab onto something that we can build an entire lifetime on, in these 10 days of great opportunity, shkollos hasman to become great, shkollos hasman to gain kirvas Hashem, I think there's a very specific message that lies in the mashal of Reb Yonah. I can't say here, it's a time of truth. I don't know if he intended this or not. I know he gives a mashal of opportunity and squandered opportunity. And this stupid fool who's standing in jail not leaving. So my mind, I looked at squandered opportunity for the person who doesn't do teshuvah as serious as my teshuvah. But I want to read a Rambam, and I gained chizuk. I gained chizuk because Reb Reb Elyah Reb Elyah brought me the Mir Yeshiva came to this city, and he made this a major point of his drasha. So I gained his look that I think this is a message that's vital. The Rambam in Hilchos Teshuva in Perek The Rambam says as follows. He says don't think this that tipshay umos ha'olam this that the stupid say the roiv golmei Yisroel and most Jewish bodies the Rambam says is a mistake that make and most Jewish bodies make. And they think Hakadosh Baruch Hu goizer al ha'adam mit'chilas briyaso liyos tzaddik o rasha. It's already been predetermined, it's destined with tzaddik o rasha. Einah davar kein, it's not true. Ela kol adam roiv golmei Yisroel tzaddik k'Moshe Rabbeinu o rasha k'Yeravam. We all have choices in front of us b'reshus ha'nefesh ona. We want to be a tzaddik, we want to be a rasha. Now before we say you might have wondered one of the manhigim of Klal Yisroel came to our city to teach us we have bechira. Is he joking? Reb Elyahu Brodny was matzliach himself, a masmid, somebody who helps countless people and he came to our city to tell us we have bechira. You're right that we have bechira. The Rambam says the tipshay umos the entire goyish world which he called tipshay umos he says roiv golmei Yisroel believe we don't have bechira. Don't run so fast to say stupid people and we for sure have none of that in us. The Rambam says roiv tipshay roiv golmei Yisroel most Jewish bodies believe we don't have the cure. Rabbi say it's passion that the it's a hobby gets us in all different forms if we listen carefully to ourselves where we believe that we don't really have choice. Our nature is we're a generation that's been exposed. We all saw when we were 3 5 10 whether it was our parents television or our grandparents television or our friends houses television. We've seen we've been exposed. And we all feel that being exposed having seen what choice do we really have? Where can we really go? If you're ever used to the voice he comes in many different ways. Hashem will understand me. It's very hard to get worked up that that which I don't do that well God understands. I understand me very well. Hashem will understand. He knows my insidiousness. He knows how hard. Essentially I'm saying you can't be different. Essentially I'm saying I'm stuck. I can't move. The mirror Yeshiva he asked the casher. Reb Elia Brudny asked the casher when he was here. He said that a person wants credit from Hashem. Listen to our tefilos. You know why? Because ain't I know as a panim muksharaif lo matzadiq anachnu v'lo chatanu. Hashem you know why you should listen to my tefilos? Because I'm not brazen. I'm not a muchtzif to say to you Hashem I'm a tzadiq and I didn't sin. And he asked it's laughable. You're in front of God who knows all. You're saying to Hashem you imagine going in front of a judge who has a video that caught us on video robbing. You say to the judge you really should listen to my bakashas for forgiveness because I'm not being chutzpadic to say I didn't do it. You stupid. I have a video. Chutzpah won't help right now. Brazenness won't help. You're in front of the knower of all. The Melech Malchei Hamlachim. What are you saying to him? God, I'm not being chutzpah diktate say I haven't made mistakes. And chutzpah will allow to say that? And brazenness will allow you to say to Hashem stubbornness that I didn't do anything wrong? He knows. He's saying. He's heard. He watches. Ayin ro'ah. Ozen shoma'as. And of course, what we're asking credit for Hashem is that we separate from ro'a olam. Most of the world thinks we can't help it. We're stuck. Most people think that way. Ro'a I'm not claiming that way. Most people think they're stuck. Stuck. I can't. It's impossible. People say it's a kind of noise to me. I despise it. People call their rebbe an ilui. I hate it. My rebbe is an ilui. He's an ilui. Rebbeim aren't iluim. But that's a way of saying he's the rebbe club. Not ilui so rebbe. The one predisposed to learning Torah. His nature. He's the ilui club. The Gemara in Nedarim says that often talmidei chachamim's children are not talmidei chachamim. The Gemara wants to know why that occurs. And the Gemara, one of the answers the Gemara Pe'ah says is Hashem wants to know Torah is not a yerushah. Doesn't belong to a select few, the ilui club, the frummi club, the tzaddik club. You and I could be a tzaddik. Herishus netunah. You and I have all the options in front of us. The Ramban brings the passuk. >> Pain of Adam whole your heart me menu. It is true a positive in the tire in Adam is me menu. And Adam is unique in the entire world. What does toy for a person as a choice to choose good and choose bad. We can do something about our massive. We can make ourselves better. We can go somewhere. We can change. Some people perceive the young and they run. So we take out our poor for misfortune itself. I want to see a postcard that I shall do because I will the outside and on the inside it said better luck next year. We take our poor unfortunate of a beat ourselves up guilty as charged bad terrible worse bad terrible one thing all different things we accuse ourselves of. I don't want them as a type of soup. All the things that were bad. Bad lousy worse. Every year an exercise. So we stand waiting when are these days of beating ourselves up going to end. >> [clears throat] >> When I miss you sometimes they are being beat you up here you supposed to do it yourself. Beat up beat up beat up when I'm just waiting might see him keeper let's sing and dance let's just scream I shall come I'm out of here no more beating up shall I now shoot but see you next year I beat myself up a little more. Beat up a shot we done it all. >> [clears throat] >> Guilty as charged each and every one of them. There's such a profound message of hope. There's something profound if we're saying these things we're saying we can be different. The only way we can say I shall do that I devastated my goodness is by saying it's possible for me I shall do means shomemu, desolate. It means that I I am really a spiritual person that craves ruchniyus. I'm a beautiful structure. We run quickly to bagadnu. Ashamnu means to take something that's gorgeous, that's magnificent, and to cause desolation, to cause damage. First, you have to have with a beautiful structure we are. And then by looking, by saying, by watching, we do a desolation to something beautiful. We've done damage to something beautiful, and we can stop. We can make it beautiful again. We can stop desolating. That's the message of chuva. The message of chuva is not is not we're bad, terrible. The message of chuva is that it's shaya for us to be tzaddikim. That we believe we can move. Not easy, not quickly, not suddenly, but with effort, with focusing where we're too slowly moving the ship. We can move towards the bottom of gehinom. We speak lashon hara. Could we really stop? Yes. In a second? No. We could stop stop the easier stuff and move towards process. We can turn the ship. We can end somewhere that it's possible. That's the chiddush of chuva. That's the message of chuva, that we have bechira. What roiv golmay are roiv golmay Yisrael don't believe that he yet can do something. This moshol of Rabbeinu Yonah is so profound. Rabbeinu Yonah describes the jail opens up, and you can escape, and you stay in jail as the moshol for somebody who doesn't utilize chuva. HOW PRECISE. It's not any opportunity. Rabbeinu Yonah's moshol was people stay locked up, the locked up fools of the world who don't think it's shiyach for greatness, who don't think it's shiyach to move. They don't believe it. A certain bochur was a different had difficult shiyachness. And his rebbe told me he's a ben Torah, fiery ben Torah today. His rebbe said he was dead. I don't believe in behira, he was dead. He doesn't believe choice, you can make decisions and grow. We can be better husbands, better fathers, better sons, better siblings. That we really have the choice to be better, to work on ourselves, to be more diligent, to be bigger masmidim. That we really can make these changes better. That's the message of this mana shana. It's shkulus hazman for kirvus Hashem. And in this shkulus hazman there's a profound message that we have to internalize. We have to get freed from the shackles of all those who believe you can change. There's no possibility of greatness. You're stuck. This is That's it, you're stuck. Finished. Dovid Hamelech Hashem, we've been saying this whole precious month. He says to Hashem, "Nicheini b'eirach mishor." Please guide me in the correct path, "L'maan shiyrei." Apologize to talk straight in a straight way, but I want to say it, "L'maan shiyrei." It's a little revenge for me. I once a rav at a at a at a levaya in front of a lot of freiyen when he translated tilim, he translated "Thou shalt not" and it bothered me. Torah is talking today. It's live, it's relevant, it's not archaic. And in the precious tilim, Dovid Hamelech davens, "Nicheini b'eirach mishor." Hashem, please set me in the right path. L'man shari, to stack it. To punch them in the nose. L'man shari. Shari those that stare at me saying I'm hopeless. Shari to be sure means to stare at. Means those that said about David HaMelech ain Yeshua savil kimsela. Those that said to David HaMelech, you have no opportunity to change. You're finished, done, you're out. There were people that said about David HaMelech, you're out. What a fascinating motivation of all the things that David HaShem HaShem, please let me be matzliach l'chaim b'ruch mishor. You know why? To show to show those people, those fools, those shari, those people who look at me and say finished, you're done, you're out. No possibility of change, of chuvah, of elevation, of growing. HaShem, please guide me in the correct path. I want all the shari to learn a deep lesson. I want all of Klal Yisrael to learn a deep lesson. The lesson that a person can grow, that a person can work their way out, a person can work their way up. I think we're part we're zocheh all of us to be in a yeshiva, to be in a community in a city that's about Aliyah, that believes in people growing, that believes in people picking up, elevating, changing, developing. That believes in b'chira, that nobody we're a minority of a minority. We're a minority as a Yid and within the Yidden, people don't believe in b'chira. They don't believe in chuvah, it's words. It's season. Of course we don't like the season, we wait for it over. If we understood the season, we wouldn't want to let go of the Yamim Noraim. We couldn't get enough. We'd want more you may more you may opportunity beautiful days days of belief that you and I can get better. We can concentrate more by how much do we fight? Do we really think we space out? We think about all the things who battles who cares the battle who thinks they could be successful in this battle? It's hopeless. We think about all different things. Our mind wanders. That's it. It's not with fighting struggle one brother one word feel it that for help our little bit that we do. We can turn it around. We can change it. It's not that person over there who's the flip out. That's funny guy. We always ask ourselves could I have happened? I was not part of the illui club, the flip out club. It's all nonsense. How much sooner to all of us you and I don't touch your chest if you don't believe it. If you don't believe you can change don't you dare hit pound yourself. Don't touch yourself. Why are you hitting an innocent person and unchangeable person? If you want to stay in jail, don't touch. But if you want to be freed, if you want to go out, if you want to know we can soar, we can move, we can go places. We're not locked. We're not stuck in old habits. It's true. We know this. We have very little patience. We tend to get so frustrated with others. We say cuz we can change it slowly, carefully, not all at once with unbelievable value the little thing appreciate the smallest step towards the tiniest step and we could do it. A guy wrote me a letter. He wrote me a letter that he intended to give to his mama. He never gave it, but he intended to give it to his mama. He's a kid who can't sit to save his life. ADHD squared. He can't sit. And he wrote a letter to his mama. It's a gift to every single one of us. He wrote to his mama, "You think and everybody in my life, nobody on Earth knows me. Nobody on this Earth knows me. Everybody thinks I don't care. I'm disinterested in ruchniyus. I'm always running out of davening, learning. What's ruchniyus? What yeshiva, davening, learning? I'm always outside. I'm never there. I can't sit for a minute. My rebbe starts learning, 2 minutes later I'm done. I don't care." He said that I fight I care more than any guy in my sheer, I believe, to be in there, but it's so hard. I leave when I couldn't sit anymore 4 minutes ago, and I stay 4 minutes more and leave. But it's only 10 minutes. It's never good enough. I'm always told, "Come back in. Come back in. Come back in." I'm always not good enough. Does anybody notice how hard I struggle? We're not valuing the small accomplishment, the small fight. I promise take a bochur like this, and I've seen this a hundred times. Value Did you see fought to stay in 2 more minutes? He left, insufficient. He's outside. He was only here 10 minutes. But you know he struggled the last two. Precious, precious, precious, holy, successful, beautiful, korban Hashem, gorgeous, from Bal T'shuva. He's a gorgeous human who gave to Hashem valuable, precious right to be celebrated. If it's understood the value of the person fighting, struggling, putting in. Don't play for the world. The world doesn't understand bechira. In the world there's good guys and bad guys. In the world, he's the bad guy. He'll never be the good guy. Cuz staying 10 minutes doesn't make you a good guy. He doesn't lose. ALL THE GOOD GUYS LOSE. HASHEM YOU ROCK AND THE GOOD GUYS LOSE. THE REBBE LOSES. His rebbe called me up. That the bochur told me send you a letter. He's never been open to anybody on earth. And his rebbe said he said you should tell me the secret. So I said, "Rebbe, do you know how hard he cares to stay in?" The rebbe said, "I You know, I want to just tell myself I'm a yekkish a person." So rebbe said, quote, a paraphrase, "I'm a yekkish a person, but I do see him out of luck." Said, "Rebbe, rebbe, WAKE UP. WAKE UP. THERE'S BECHIRA. THERE'S CHOICE. YOU WANT he's the bad guy? Nebech on you. Nebech on you, you rigid man. You get angry at your wife and you think you're stuck. Nebech. Nebech." "One time, please don't say something to your wife. Once, I beg you, rebbe. I'm not talking about davening anymore." "One time, please don't say the next time you're angry at your wife. You're a little rigid. You're probably not to a lot of you think it's hopeless much like this boy who can't stay davening. But do you know how valuable it is that he stays in 10 minutes not eight? You know how hard he tries? Usually they're the hardest trying boys. Until people train them there's no bechira and then they stop trying. That's usually. They're usually the hardest trying boys. The hardest one if you have 10 kids in your family, nine sit easily and one hard, they usually try harder than the other nine, usually. Cuz it's hard when everybody wants to be good. Until they learn what the rest of us smarties know, there's no bechira, Hashem yerachem. Until they fall for the great lie of humanity, there's no bechira, you're stuck. When they're boxed in jail, they stop trying also. Like the Rebbe and like everybody else, mazel tov, another guy locked in jail for life cuz it's impossible. Cuz you're stuck. Cuz does it really count that you fought those two extra minutes? See, he learns what the Rebbe learned long ago when he's always yelling at his wife. He always gets his very rigid man, he never missed a daven in but he says to his wife, Hashem yerachem, you're just stuck. He was lucky when he's the pattern he's stuck in landed him a good job and he with his pattern gets him thrown out of school. We're all stuck in our patterns. But it's all lies, so why we banging if that's true? What's ashmenu, bagadnu, gazalnu, dibarnu doifi, what? Why are you banging? What are you beating up? We're stuck. And the answer is neither the Rebbe nor the student. He who says I'm a yekke, he says to me, you you know, you can change and be more patient with people, you're not stuck being a yekke. You can be more patient, you can learn it. Much like his two minutes, I will actually ask you to learn from him, Rebbe. His two minutes of struggle is precious. If you would be a little less rigid on some of boys, it would also be precious. And if I would come a little more on time, it would be precious. Cuz the struggle is so precious and valuable. And shuva shaya, it doesn't things we're in a society what can't be done in a minute, so who who is it worth it? Can it be done? Yes, process over time, with care, with sight, it can be done. Yes, there's something called shuva, there's something called shtaygen. This must be said in this space magician, this city that believes in the believes in the from the to to from the radio that are and the says most don't believe in it. Most Jewish bodies don't believe that we can serve, that a person with effort, with fight, can become a master. We've seen it. We've seen it. Not by him, not by them, by us. We've seen people who cared, who made effort, that it's celebrated each fight, each battle, and it's noticed, it's appreciated, it's worth It's only worth to those who believe in If you can't change, does it really worth it? The answer is we can. I think we have to utilize a brain. This last weekday of to make sure of this precious gift of 10 days of and the precious gift that we have now with two days of of The precious two days of we have in front of us. Utilize the gift to say we can soar, we can become closer to we can become more godly, we can be truer to and us. We can learn with more We can better, we can focus better, start a process, fight. valuable A little more, a little more One time we didn't beautiful beautiful It's beautiful. Change is not It's It's just an It's just an act of nothingness. It's just a nothing, worthless. But since it is possible, it is Since a person like the brings the that a person is What does a person unique? He to to There's no predisposition. There's no nature. Stop with all the words, all the statements, all the psychologists, all the ones who lock us in. this, she's that, they're that, all the different labelings and groups that say why we can't, chuck it all away. Say to God, "God, I stand here in front of you saying I recognize that I can be special and I will be special and I've begun a process of being special." I want to tell you, remember that one time God, I wanted to speak it was I badly wanted to say a word of it. I didn't say it. It was and by men I focused I got to the first three banged off and then I even got afterwards four. You saw that. You saw that fire God. I learned the lesson of these days. On the last of I incorporated in my life that I'm going to struggle and fight cuz I know I can head somewhere slow, careful All of us should be able to recognize to recognize that the choice is ours, to live a lifetime of people that utilize to move, to try, to struggle, to give an error to every little struggle. Every battle of others and ours is precious. Every time that we want to say something mean to somebody else and we don't. I know we hold it in precious, precious. Every time we push to break a every extra minute we sat when it was so hard another minute of learning, another black and white are precious. Those of us that recognize that recognize the great gift of that gave us to be that we can choose it and the only way we have and we're when we struggle and there's nothing wrong with having flaws. It's the name of the world, there's something wrong with not recognizing there's the possibility of fighting. All of us should be to be counted amongst the soldiers that says who fight, who recognize that it's worthwhile to fight, that it's precious to fight. We should all be to that that comes from those that are fighting to be more godly, to be more loyal to speak for us all.