What is the Secret of a Good Marriage?

[Music] secret of a good marriage well I don't know honestly I've never been married before I was never married so I don't know I don't know I've never been married I will cross that bridge when I get there we've never been married before so you know I would have a hard job telling you that since I'm only married 60 years what's the secret of a good marriage you know the tragedy of Western marriages is nobody forces anybody to get married there's no forced marriages anymore you so a man and a woman fall in love they love each other to distraction they get married they're euphoric they're going to live happily ever after you come back 10 years later they have a couple of kids and they're killing each other over who gets the kids I mean it happens to or now what in the world happened they were in love with each other and they didn't even know these kids had no idea and they didn't order them up according to specification whatever came they fell in love with yeah and they loved them and they're ready to do everything for the kids and for each other they say things that are outlandish you know it's ridiculous they say this guy is the worst Caligula he is a a Frankenstein and this woman she's a witch she she she she just as mean as they come you know these people they're very nice people what in the world happened can't understand it yeah I don't think I could say that on camera both couples are G both people are giving they both want to give to each other love love being honest and trusting each other forgiveness marriage is something that two people get together strangers as a matter of fact my mother used to say uh when she got married yet that uh my mother married my father and I have to marry a stranger there's one sentence in the Torah that tells us how to have a good marriage one sentence in the Torah explains it all and the sentence goes like this L don't take revenge L don't bear a grudge love your friend as yourself so the rabbis ask it should be two separate sentences it's two separate subjects don't take revenge or bear a grudge and love your neighbor it's a a different thing and they answer the almighty is teaching us how not to Bear a grudge don't take revenge that's a difficult thing but we know what we got to do don't hit back yeah we know it takes character but we know don't bear a grudge forget it the guy slandered me forget it well he took he insulted me forget it forget it how do you forget it so the rabbis explained the almighty teaches us how love your neighbor as yourself focus on your love and they say they give you an example so if a man cuts himself with a knife he's going to take the knife in his other hand and cut himself back to he's crazy yeah he's nuts he's out of his mind so he doesn't cut himself back he won't take revenge he won't bear a grudge every human being knows you see every married man knows when your wife is miserable ask any married man when your wife is miserable you're miserable and then he goes and makes his wife miserable enjoy yourself every married woman knows when a husband's miserable she's miserable and boy can they make you miserable enjoy yourself yeah now with children we don't make that mistake with children the children are sick get a doctor they stupid get a tutor they're selfish they get a a teacher they're uh obnoxious get a psychiatrist but you come home after you're married and you find out that your wife well she's sick I didn't marry a sick woman a husband is stupid God save me what did I do I Mar this stupid guy she's selfish I got to teach her a lesson he's obnoxious kill him enjoy yourself you've got to understand marriage is Oneness men and women make one one even more than your children your children you're going to let go they're going to move away to get married you'll enjoy your grandchildren from far you you can't interfere with their lives your wife is forever your husband is forever it's for eternity take care of them just remember this a happy wife is a happy life it'll do you a lot of good the marriage is very uh volunteer at times it's like climbing a mountain though when you get to the top of that mountain the view is so magnificent that even if you fall down once in a while you may climb up and get to that view and that's what counts