What Should You Think About During - JEWISH INTIMACY (30)

what if I told you that the overwhelming majority of society is committing adultery without even realize they're doing it most people think that adultery is simply an action that has to be physical and what they don't realize is that adultery begins with the mind if you ask the average person what they think about during intimacy they'll be very uncomfortable to tell you what that is if their spouse is next to them in fact if you tell people that they should have holy thoughts they won't even know what you're talking about more time the not what does it mean a holy thought can I have a holy thought while having some Unholy thought what if I want to have holy thoughts while my spouse is not exactly a holy person these are the type of things we need answers for and along the way we're going to meet a very special Nish one of the righteous Souls of the generation that overcame an extraordinary obstacle an obstacle that you are probably dealing with as well the these are the things we need to know in order to know what we can do in order to know what we should do in order to know how to be holy enjoy the lecture share it and remember the goal of everything is for us to achieve being holy we're back here on our Tuesday night Jewish intimacy Series tonight the sh is going to be for the for S eser and all of am Israel and all the righteous no that continue to contribute and help us do all the amazing things that we're doing a reminder for everybody as usual to watch the new episode of the podcast the uh returning to hasem podcast has had extraord feedback so far and uh we're looking to hear from more of you what you think of it how it inspired you quite a few people have been inspired by it so certainly uh a worth watching uh for everybody whether you're religious not religious uh whether you're male female young or old it's uh simply a great uh story we already set up for the next one coming up on M Shabbat uh so uh it's going to be published Shabbat at 9:00 p.m. of course uh if you're running late or to the sh but obviously you're still celebrating Shabbat then simply rewind it and you'll be able to watch it on M Shabbat as soon as it comes out uh also to remind all of you that uh haven't ordered already some of our books we have our new book or these books have gotten great feedback it's in Hebrew only so if you have an englishspeaking Community where everybody speaks English please do not order them I already have had a couple of times people uh tell me that they uh got them but then they realize that they're uh only in Hebrew and they don't read Hebrew and nobody they know he reads Hebrew so obviously this is not appropriate for you but if you have a uh Hebrew speaking Community which there's quite of them please order a box or two boxes or three boxes of them each box has 20 uh get them to people they've had great feedback also you can get the cards the cards are for all communities whether they're speaking Hebrew or they're speak speaking English or even other languages because this movie tun as well as my other movie uh Hashem took back his millions have inspired people in many languages in I think 10 different languages so get some of these cards each order comes with I believe 20 of them so or 10 of them but you can get more if you want get these cards people can pick them up scan the card and then they'll be able to watch the movie for free and be inspired for it and bem I'll tell you a story about the movie later tonight t as far as how it relates to our and what it actually did uh in the recent months so with that being said we continue our series to uh continue sanctifying our marriages sanctifying Our Lives as we've learned already over the last several months from the raan kados that uh as the sages say is the last meal uh not that the other mualim thereafter were not uh uh MIM but uh he was from the uh you know from theim uh generation about 800 years ago and uh the holy ramban has been uh really preparing us for the uh Act of intimacy and uh trying to get us to understand that intimacy is much more than what Society has uh unfortunately been uh teaching people teaching even children where it's uh simply an animalistic act uh you act on desires you act on whatever is on your mind even if it is uh with somebody that you don't care for even if it's not with somebody that uh is even uh you know interested in being with you and unfortunately today what's happened in society when it comes to uh the acts of intimacy they have degraded it to such an extent that it's uh almost you know better to Simply uh avoid the topic altogether unless you know what you're talking about because what's happened now is that they're teaching little children as I've said many times and I can't emphasize this enough to protect your kids from these Wicked teachers and these Wicked schools and unfortunately sometimes even Wicked rabbis like this uh Ephraim meris uh from London uh who uh tells people that if the children uh want to uh be homosexual if they want to change their gender uh you shouldn't tell the parents you shouldn't tell the parents now of course when the Jewish Community does not rebuke then will some sometimes send the go to rebuke uh and that's actually exactly what happened with the where some of the go came out and said this is completely appalling how dare he say that parents should not be informed that their children want to change their gender and we're not talking about children like uh you know 25 30-year-old children we're talking about children like literally children uh you know if an 8-year-old has been influenced by one of these transvestites uh uh one of these lgbtq fils uh that uh that he is a she and she is a he and the kid wants to do something about it take hormones and do all types of things to destroy his body or her body m is telling people that you don't need to tell the parents this now of course when the came out out with this this was uh great that some truth is in the world but it was actually at the same token a that us Jews did not do more than what we did that uh you know of course we do our best to speak about it and we did but unfortunately we are alone in this aspect no one else wants to talk about this and it's truly sad because they are literally turning this generation to a generation of deformed people B people that have deformities deformities of the mind is leading to deformities of the body now this is something that has happened before just so you know so no one tricks you and no one fools you to think that this is a new thing or unique thing there is a holocaust that everyone is aware of where until the 1960s where amman's lawsuit where they finally caught him and tried him until then the uh Israeli and and even American society mocked the Holocaust Survivors but only after they saw the and heard the stories of the Holocaust Survivors did the Holocaust change uh uh you know the people change their perception about the Holocaust and the Holocaust Survivors they stopped making fun of them and in fact uh today they honor them and to such an extent where they called them kosim now again this is not a to say that uh this is incorrect but my point is is that the Holocaust is something that every Jew and quite frankly almost every non-jew as heard about depending on how much you educate yourself and everyone is aware that it's happened of course there are the deniers and the losers out there but we're going to leave them for different lectures but one a lot what a lot of people don't realize is that the Holocaust didn't just happened the Holocaust was something that a and his sages warned us about as proves in his a uh uh in his where he literally brings different uh uh statements from sages preceding the Holocaust but over a 100 years predicting that it's going to happen but one of the things that uh you know that actually happened before the Holocaust hit its ugly head and literally started massacring Jews is the nurburg laws and the nurburg laws for anyone that watched our series era of mashiah based on Ran's uh count we went over the the nurur laws and in fact the nurur laws are synonymous with the laws of the Torah where a Jew is not allowed to marry a gentile not allowed to be intimate with her not allowed to uh uh uh be with her in any shape way or form uh and other things that the Torah commands us to uh to stay away from and forbids us to do saw that the reform conservative and other types of rabbis that do not want to rebuke we're not helping is we're not helping is so he sent the he sent the G to remind us of what our Torah says and unfortunately we didn't listen until it was too late the point being is is that when people like e mvis and his uh his buddy uh dwick say things to promote homosexuality or like that other Rashad that's in Long Island I forget his name that is become the LGBT TQ uh Rabbi Orthodox Rabbi he looks like an orthodox Rabbi he has a hat he has a suit he has a beard he calls himself Orthodox Rabbi he's as far of being a rabbi as you could possibly imagine but the point being is when you have people like this accepting and promoting lgbtq and all types of deformed mentalities that lead to deformed bodies and the Jewish Community does not cry foul over this then you can be assure that aad is not going to stay silent he will send theim once twice three times and of course it just gets uglier from there the point being here is that when it comes to Jewish intimacy a person needs to understand that these are things that you need to know in order to remove yourselves from the wicked and sanctify yourself to be holy now of course a person is not going to be able to do all of this in one day we're not saying that anyone is expected to but the key is to understand is that these are things that are needed more now than ever before because we are in a generation where there's so much tum so much impurity so much pornography so much filth so much adultery so many things that are the opposite of what tradition has been throughout all of history both for is as well as the rest of the world that if you don't sanctify yourself you will find find yourself in the other side because it's just one of those places where you have a time where there's so much Tuma out there that if you don't fight it you'll be infected by it hence the reason why it's a perfect timing to discuss Jewish intimacy and why directed us to this particular series as uh was uh recently highlighted in a uh in a video by kki Shalom where uh he was asked why did a bring the Corona virus and without skipping a beat kki says to make people scared that's the answer to make people scared this is the same thing as what the says in why did make thunder to make people scared and straighten out their heart rki says to make them scared so they learn Torah when brings horrible things to the world unfortunately that's the wakeup call that's what wakes us up more times than not the easy things don't wake us up unless it's a special n that's able to overcome things so there are two ways to go in as it says in this week's the the path of the king one is the wakeup call from that hurts that is a nightmare that I promise you you don't want to hear or you listen to a like this and you wake up your and realize I got to do more whatever I'm doing I have to do more it doesn't matter if I'm religious already for 50 years or I'm newly religious or I'm not religious at all it doesn't make a difference where I stand I have to do more to sanctify myself and separate myself from these Wicked people like it says in K so now has directed us to this series and we've been delving and delving into it and learning more and more about the preparation for intimacy the mental preparation the physical preparation the spiritual preparation all of these preparations but tonight the ramban is going to start talking about the act itself and in fact one of the most critical parts of the ACT is what are you supposed to think about now naturally we would think that oh think about holy things great what does that mean it's not so simple thinking about holy things although that sounds like a great answer and you'll get an A on the test if it was as a test in the school but if the teacher wanted an explanation more times than not people will get an f and the reason why is because most people don't know what is the meaning of holy and even more so when it's even approach appropriate to think such things and with whom so the ran is going to teach us what to think about if we want to sanctify our marriages we want to sanctify ourselves we want to connect to and separate ourselves from all of these D the generation of the flood generation that we live in then certainly we need to know what to think about but the raban already prepared us couple of weeks ago when he told us that when a man has his marital Union with his wife if his imagination and thoughts are occupied with matters of wisdom and understanding good and proper traits then that very imagination undoubtedly has the power to shape the form in the semen as he imagines it when when he has Union in so many words when a person has good thoughts thoughts that are pure thoughts that are holy thoughts that are things that are permissible then he could literally draw he could paint those thoughts into what's coming out of his body that will could eventually and would eventually bring a child to the world and that will actually be you know the this baby in so many words where if he thinks of good things of wisdom of Torah of MIT and the other things we're going to discuss he could literally imprint all of this into the spiritual DNA that's coming out of his body and is forming that child and therefore the child that will come out of that is one that will have these traits of course you could always have a little puppy without thinking about anything appropriate thinking about what you saw on TV thinking about what you saw in the streets and you could have another one of these kids that curses his parents calls his parents by first name and even steals stuff from them certainly that's very you don't have to do anything to get one of those but who wants that there are already too many of them perhaps some of them are even leaders of Our Generation unfortunately so it's important for us to know that these thoughts do matter now what's the Torah source for it the ramban continues says that this is the secret of what it says in the Book of Genesis seph 30:37 and yov took rods of fresh popler Hazel and Chestnut trees and peeled White Stripes in them uncovering and causing to appear the white which is in the rods and it says further in verse 39 and the Sheep became heated and conceived at the sight of the rods and the Sheep gave birth to ringed speckled and spotted lamps here we see that yobu was dealing with the number one liar in the world and lean as the Torah says changed the uh uh the deal the salary of yobu over a hundred times and lied about it each and every single time but yov knew there's nothing to complain about not only because Lavan is not going to change anything think he's still going to stay a liar he's going to blame yakob that's the uh the behavior of liars is that they blame everyone for being Liars but uh aside from that he didn't complain to his wives in fact he didn't even tell to anything to his wives until it was time to leave as we see from the verses where he says you know he tells his wives finally that he's been cheating them literally he's been quiet about this suffering in silence for 20 years but yov didn't just raise his hands and give up up rather he did his what was he told lean listen we have a deal that you want me to stay here for more years you want me to stay here no problem I need to make money for my own family I got kids I got wives so let me have any uh of the um any of the sheep that come out with that are speckled checkered that have all types of spots they'll be my gallery now I don't know how many of you have actually seen sheep lately but usually they don't come out with checkered and spotted there usually come out white or black but generally speaking there's no spots see here Y is saying listen I'll get those those few those rare ones that's going to be my salary now what did Yakov do later on we find out that yov ainu tells his wives that he got this secret from an angel that a sent him who told him exactly what to do and this was his this was his effort he wasn't going to complain because that's not effort that's simply something that Hashem hates you pray to Hashem that's good you complain to Hashem not so good so Yu takes rods of different types of wood which is obviously naturally dark on the outside and he slices them a little bit makes little circles which exposes the lighter part that's on the inner part of the wood and he makes these marks and then he puts them right where the Sheep come to drink and the reason why is because the Sheep when they come to drink that's where they procreate and Y was told by the angel to do this because as soon as the the Sheep the female sheep comes to go drink the male is going to uh try to uh to uh climb on top of her and she's going to accept it but how do you influence what kind of fetus comes out of this what kind of little sheep comes out of this based on what she sees if the female and the male are looking at something that could influence what they see usually what do they see they see nothing they see trees they see the sky they see all types of things yaku wanted to change that he put these pieces of wood checkered wood he put them to have sort of Stripes similar to like the mid says similar to like a um a tiger type of stripes on some of them and circles you know having the difference between the dark and the white part of the wood exposed in different ways and that's what they're going to look at and a PUK says that after he did this the Sheep conceived and gave birth to ring speckled and spotted lamps it not only worked he became a multi-millionaire as a result of it where all of a sudden instead of the typical white sheep that you'd expect the typical sheep that everyone is is accustomed to all throughout history all of a sudden there's another one and another one and another one that is spoted and as much as lean tried to change the deals there's simply no way for him to win because is making sure that this plan works and says the Ran So we see that the nature of the Lamb born to those sheep was influenced by seeing the peeled rods in their watering throws all the more so a human who has Intelligence such that he can work things by his thoughts so here we see that what the Sheep sees influences what it comes out of their body about 800 years ago around the same time as the ramban there was another Rishon one of the sages of Italy his name was the RTI RTI and he writes commentary on this on the Torah and on this verse here he says why is this story even in the tor that's the question why is the story in a toah the reason he gives the answer to teach us how to sanctify intimacy as the thoughts and Imagination go so does the child or the feet is born from it goes as it says in the page 71a a man must sanctify himself before intimacy because if the animal being the Sheep here if the animal can have such an effect based on what it sees even though the animal doesn't have the ability to acquire knowledge and have all types of imagin what is it imagining it's imagining a treat it's imagining a uh water what is it imagining imagining nothing not imagining anything holy but if an animal that is limited can have such a effect on it just simply by what it sees and what goes into their mind which is what it sees and even more so on a man and a woman that do have knowledge that can help them paint an image based on the images of their mind see here we see the theti in essence repeat what the ramban says which a few more details where he's telling us the whole purpose of why this story is even in the Torah is to teach us about Jewish intimacy is to teach us about how to bring holy from the place called goof in sham there's a place in sh where all of the are there waiting to come into the world there are some high level low level the says that there are virtually no new all of the that come into the world are reincarnations reincarnations of people that have already been here but did not complete their tun now some of them did not complete their tun on a very high level some on a low level meaning some could be a very very righteous person that missed an opportunity on a specific mitvah he didn't teach enough he didn't rebuke enough he didn't uh pray well enough whatever not very high level but everything else he did extremely well so this is a very high level that comes from the higher level of the uh of the of the Goof which also the explains comes from ad had all of the in him and all of these that come into the world come from different parts of their body the Holier the N the higher it is placed uh the higher it was in the uh um in the soul of ad uh obviously the the head being the highest feet being the lowest and more or less most people are coming from the lowest but needless to say there are some that come from other places from higher places and these are these are righteous people that missed out on a few opportunities and have to come back again to complete their tun but that's not the average the average is perhaps much lower and then there's lower people that have major sins under their belt they desecrated the uh uh the Shabbat not by driving on Shabbat their whole life but perhaps they desecrated once or twice and did not do chuva for those couple times uh while keeping it for the rest of their life or they stole some money or they did all types of other uh uh acts that are forbidden and they had to be reincarnated now then there are people that are completely horrible people that tortured people people that uh murdered people people that are are really terrible people they also have to be reincarnated so now when a person is thinking about what kind of baby they want what kind of baby is going to grow up to be more likely to be the greatest person that will bring their parents the most they'll bring a the most that will do the best that could possibly be then certainly everyone will choose the righteous person no one's going to choose the wicked nasty criminal no one wants that guy no one wants that girl no one wants the girl that used to be a prostitute no one wants the guy that used to uh uh dance on the stage no one wants those people so everybody wants the righteous person says this is exactly the reason of why this story ofu making little Cuts in the trees before his sheep go to drink that's why this story is in the tah in order to teach you how to pull those special and in fact one of the MIM named Alia writes in a cabalistic book called that although the Aral said that there's no new Souls this is generally speaking because we learn he says that there are 30 brand new brand new Souls per generation 30 new Souls so when you calculate how many people are born every single year which is well over 60 million people per year are born every year so 30 is nothing and it's not a generation is not one year a generation is much more than a year so 30 is literally almost the equivalent of nothing but neither to say who gets those special because those brand new they're the greatest of the great they're the purest they're sinless they're the ones that are literally the greatest people of their Generation Now who gets them people that know how to bring those special in so many words it all starts here it all starts with what's on a person's mind when they are intimate now since aad decreed that the ideal time for a woman to get pregnant is within 24 to 48 hours after she dips in a mik that's how designed the woman's body based on her menstrual cycle after it's completed and she counts the Clean Days by the time she goes to the mikve so long as she had obviously the right calculation and today it's very easy to calculate there are even uh applications for smartphones and websites that a woman could uh uh help herself to make sure that uh she's calculating her uh her days correctly and also knows all of the other days that are forbidden even when she's pure there are certain days that she's still forbidden by her husband uh based on uh certainty days but the point being is that family Purity is a very important subject and every woman has to be an expert in it in order to make sure that she does not make major mistakes that can cost her a lot and her husband but even more than that knowing the details of family Purity is also going to help a person bring pure to the world and one of the things is that the mikve night within that 24 to 48 hours of that mikve night is the ideal time for the couple to be together because that's the most likely time that the body is likely to conceive because of this page 28 tells us and that's what the ramban is bringing here tells us an extraordinary story an extraordinary story that elaborates on the point of the ran and the RTI based on the teachings ofan he says that our blessed sages called our attention to this in the talud in page 28 where was accustomed to sit at the gates of the mik his eyes were looking down and his mind was adhered to the holy and he would say when the daughters of Isel come up from immersing in the mikve they look at me and have children as handsome as I here is a story that if a person is completely ignorant of Judaism sounds weird sounds awful and your understanding of the story at face value is going to be based is going to let you know how pure your mind is if your mind is full full of Filth you're automatically going to think that bad things about you're going to compare them to all of the uh rapists and and and horrible people that you've heard about in in the news and in the video games in the movies that's what you're going to think about the filthier your mind is the more you're going to compare this holy sadik this T to those people the cleaner your mind the more you're going to start looking for whoa he's over there why is he over there that's where the women are what is he doing to help those women that is taking time out of his day taking time out of his Torah do he's doing for them why what do I need to learn from this it says the ramban consider well at the great Insight of this holy who knew that when a woman who comes up from her immersion in the mik thinks of his Beauty wisdom and righteousness and then unites with our husband that thought which is in Her Imagination will shape the form of the child that will be born according to her imagination and he did as he did in order to increase the number of of wise men in in is so here we see what the pure tah is telling us here about its holy soldiers it's would sit in the opening of the mik where women are coming in and leaving not next to the pool itself but you know in the door area and each time a woman is entering leaving she sees him and he was one of the Beautiful People of yush not just because of the natural uh uh physical beauty that Hashem instilled in him but rather because his n was so pure and holy that it affected his body and made his body shine made his body more beautiful Beauty to the extent that it would literally light up the room when he would raise up his sleeve of his hand in a dark room the whole room would light they had a certain complexion on their screen on their uh on their uh skin that would literally bring light that's how beautiful they were so what we have here is in his Purity he knows that to sanctify yourself is not simple but if you can get a head start sort of a a head start by already coming to the world with a certain level of sanctity certainly you could develop that build on top of that and reach even New Heights that will bring you more happiness your parents your future spouse but more than anything else it'll bring so what wanted to do is to make sure that there's more of these types of people coming to the world more of these and he took advantage of the gift that gave him this natural beauty wasn't enough he had to purify himself sanctify himself to the point where that sanctity from his uh from his uh n actually affected his body and made him even more beautiful than what he naturally was already and he used that tool in order to help is the daughters of is bring more beautiful people to the world not just more beautiful as far as physically beautiful but more beautiful as far as better character traits better higher level because when they're looking at the sadik sadik is looking down he's not looking at the woman as the says he's looking down but he has all of the kavan he's thinking about different of a and connecting doing which is connecting different letters of this of the Holy language in a certain level of uh Focus completely foreign to us he's connecting he's doing these Cote he's thinking about the in so many words he is glued he's cleaving to a so while they're looking at him they're not just you know benefiting from the physical Beauty they're also benefiting from the state of Holiness that he find that he's in this for anyone who uh has the book that we have in our kiru package it's uh called science comes of age or anyone that wants to get it online it's called um the um the coming Revolution by Rabbi zamir Cohen over there there are pictures that uh somebody took a uh of uh of people of righteous people and regular people and it with a special camera that uh gave the colors of the aura and when you see the colors of the aura of Shalom and you see that his natural state was literally an aura that's almost like an angel his natural State when he had certain of the having a on it was literally like something out of this world something that a regular person could only even have a chance to do if he is has on and he's thinking and he's praying and he actually actually exert a lot of effort and still not even get to that level the point is that when a person has these Cote when he's thinking about a and he knows how to do how to unify by specific letters he's literally cleaving himself his Nish to the source to the so these is these Daughters of is that are walking by to go to the mikve to go back home to their husbands are benefiting from this because they will now have an image in their mind of this holy sadik this holy as the ramban calls him in their mind when they are together with their husband and he says this is the perfect thought to have during that act of intimacy and this is exactly was the plan of R in order to increase the quality of coming to this world to be on the higher level and therefore leading to more more wise people coming to and so it is shown says the ran that the imaginations pondering and thoughts have great influence in the shaping of the fetus and its features as we have explained so when a woman has these types of thoughts in our mind that's going to affect what's going to happen inside our body and since this is so says the ramban that the thought causes the child to be righteous or wicked as per the imagination of the parents at the time of conception then surely every man must cleanse his thoughts and ponderings and refine them during the union and not think of sins or any type of impure lust rather one should think only of holy things and think of the Holy righteous sages the men of holy knowledge and wisdom so here we see that the ramban gives us clear instructions what should one think about ideally emphasize the word ideally one should think about the Holy sages of the previous generation you don't have to have a picture of them you have thoughts of who they were thoughts ofu thoughts of thoughts of the ran thoughts of thoughts of how great they were how holy they were how they sered thoughts of different thoughts about these holy Sages that's the ideal that's the ideal place that a person mind needs to be thoughts of serving a thoughts of bringing a holy into the world that can serve hasem at the highest possible level thoughts of the that has done for you how much amazing things hasem has given you each and every single day many times before you even realize that you're getting the gift you already got it in fact the beautiful part of the Torah is that it's not only interesting it's not only something that's going to help you go to heaven and fulfill the will of hem but it's literally the source of all good the source of all good all pleasures that you can possibly feel or want to feel can be acquired through the Torah so when a person thinks about this kindness that gave us where he literally removed us from all of this B this deform Med people deformed Nations deformed thought processes even if they come from within us and gave us clear instructions for the ultimate good in this world and the next think about that think about how much you love Hashem think about all of these holy sages and how they served thehm and how much they loved thehm how much they feared Hashem have thoughts of these things that's the ideal now the same token the ramban says make sure not to have inappropriate thoughts now if the ramban was alive today he may write don't think about anything at all why because there's so much filth in the world today that a average person encounters on television on his phone on his computer the highway in the streets at work at the coffee shop there's so much filth and disgusting things that are out there immodesty immorality adult filthy disgusting Behavior by people in general uh all of the just horrible things that are out there lash some people are just disgusting the way that they carry themselves the way they bring like themselves into society a person has to know that this is the world now and know that this is not the onlyon risk in fact the riskiest are not those people the riskiest are the people that pretend to be good the ones like the mes of the world the manises of the world all of these that have a face that looks like a righteous person a face that looks like a person that is representing God but in reality anyone that hears their words knows that their their lips are saying things that are good about Hashem perhaps but their hearts are far away from him their hearts are far away from him because if you understand what they're saying you realize their hearts are far away from them now they are much more dangerous and even more so the different the form people in society preaching all types of things that are an Abomination an Abomination things that aosh says are disgusting and they're preaching it as if this is good they've turn the good into evil and the evil into good they're unfortunately teaching children today they're teaching adults today they're teaching consumers today they're making all types of toys they're making all types of cartoons all types of books literally they're infiltrating the world with their Tuma so the average person that's in this world there's no way you could simply run away from this so as I said had the ramban been alive today he would simply tell you to think about absolutely nothing why and this is again this is just my thought because in a generation full of so much filth thinking about nothing is already considered holy there's so much filth that a person encounters every single day if you could get yourself to like a status quo of not thinking about anything of that part you're already in a good stage but the reality is no one can think about nothing there's always a thought and therefore even more responsibility and obligation on us that we have to make sure that we prepare ourselves to think about something holy because if we do not prepare ourselves to think about something holy what's going to end up happening is that we will think about things that are Unholy shom at the worst possible time at the time that we are painting a spiritual DNA into a child that's going to come into the world in so many words gave us the ability to create not just physically but even spiritually where in this place go called goof that I told you about where all theot are that time of conception is when your Nish and your spouse's Nish are both going to this spiritual supermarket and selecting which Nish you want if you're thinking about some girl you saw in the office you're thinking from the garbage pale section of theot you're thinking about where they lost and found or the stuff that's uh pretty much never sold now no one really wants to buy it unless it's a uh a uh steel that's where you're picking the Nish from you're thinking about some guy that said hello to you you're picking that Nisha from the discount Department the part where not a good place you think about holy things you already at the high priced items and you could afford all of it all based on your thoughts so at that moment of conception the father and the mother are in this spiritual Walmart this spiritual Supermarket picking the N the price your thoughts what are you thinking about are you thinking holy things or filthy things this was even known to theim to a certain extent at the time of the destruction of the bet mikdash the in page 58 a brings a verse brings a verse from a Lamentations chapter 4 verse two says the precious children of Zion who are comparable to fine gold but this is not just regular gold this is gold called P comes the and says what is this also are more precious than uh uh uh than P more beautiful than P more beautiful than this gold what does that mean comes R and he says that made in that generation so beautiful especially the ones that were the people of they were so beautiful that their skin was shining no one can deny their beauty they were absolutely something out of this world people would think they're from a different planet and therefore thear says the evil Romans would take young children young Jewish children that were these beautiful kids and they would tie them tie a few of them next to the bed while they are intimate with their wives and looking having the wife look at these kids the husband is looking at these kids because they know that if they look at them it'll affect what kind of baby comes from them they want it to have that physical Beauty now thear goes further and says during one of these horo horic horrific things that happened a couple of kids are tied up this disgusting Act is happening with the Romans and one Jewish kid says to the other and these are kids these are like younger than Bar Mitzvah kids just see how smart they were already at that time and one says to the other I know that everything that's happening to us destruction of the bet the mikdash the uh murders the all the horrible things the hunger all that is written in the T where is this punishment where is this curse mentioned in the Torah where is this curse mentioned in the tah he says to the other and the other child says to him of course it's mentioned in the tah it's mentioned in it's mentioned oh I see that Facebook is back let's see I no I don't think it's yeah well I canot do that now he says this is mentioned in the in where in a um chapter 28 verse says translation after he tells us about all of the curses all of the punishments that would happen if we don't follow the to he gives specifics of the different plagues and pains and War and famine and all types of horrible things the last curse here he says verse 61 in chapter 28 even any illness and any blow that is not written in this book of the Torah Hashem will bring upon you until you are destroyed here is the worst of all the curses the worst of all the curses why saying in case you think that I uh you have some type of illness that uh I didn't think about or I didn't mention no everything is mentioned in fact the punishments are not just going to be the ones that I mention specifically in the Torah but everything that will happen that's going to be part of that punishment meaning it's not just the the the and the and all of these horrible diseases no no other things Corona virus AIDS cancer you know all of these horrible things that happen all types of plagues all types of famines all types of horrible things says yeah those two in so many words there's an unlimited amount of ways for to punish those who choose not to follow himem says all of them are at my disposal once you go against me I'll use any one of them if not all of themom until I destroy you now of course Pro proed us and he says it in that same that he's not going to destroy everyone completely is is forever but the wicked will be destroyed so here these two young kids they've suffered seeing the destruction of the BET mikdash they've suffered seeing their parents murdered they've suffered hunger they've suffered homelessness they've suffered a lot of things now their suffering simply being used as dolls to arouse people to Rouse these filthy enemy to bring them good-look kids and saying where is this curse the curse is also in the tah the curse is also in the toah now the raban is telling us that we have to make sure that all of these inappropriate thoughts they're not only forbidden for you to have but they're forbidden times a million to have them during a time of intimacy now I know in society today that we've already mentioned a couple of times is deformed and is teaching things that are opposite of the tah people literally teach couples what they call therapy which is to think about other people in so many words according to the Torah according to actually he says that a woman that thinks about another man while she's intimate with her husband he puskins that it's a m the kid is not considered as if he's our husband's child he's considered like as if she cheated on him even though physically she was with her husband she thought about somebody else he says he considers that she's a MZ the kids a MZ if he thinks about a different woman when he's with his wife kids a Mel now of course we don't like that but there's obviously a sh that agrees in fact anyone that is has a little bit of Purity in their mind would also agree with such a thing because adultery doesn't just simply start with the bodies adultery starts at in the mind where first a person decides that whatever he has whatever she has is not good enough and in fact one of the things that reminds them that whatever they have is not good enough is by looking at somebody else that's not theirs somebody else's husband somebody else's wife somebody recently told told me yeah listen you know the uh my uh my friend's wife she's beautiful I would love to marry a woman like that what why are you looking at your friend's wife why are you looking at your friend's wife because in today's society people are so far away from the truth they literally befriend each other's wives and husbands hence the reason why adultery skyrocketing more in this generation than any other time in history the divorce rate in our generation is more than all of history combined because people don't know how to set boundaries they have no concept of what's allowed what's not allowed and when a woman allows herself to see things that she's not allowed to when a man allows himself to see things that they're not allowed to they start imagining themselves in that position first they are not completely satisfied with what they have then they start being reminded of this lack of Satisfaction by looking at things that don't belong to them things that many times belong to other people things that are something they should stay away from in fact the more distant it is is the more hard to get it is the more they want it and they start fantasizing about these forbidden things as says stolen water a sweeter so now even if they don't act on it physically their mind is and many times when they are together with their loved one their spouse the one that committed their life to them they're thinking about somebody else they're thinking about this other person they rather be with they're thinking about all types of things just not this person that's together with them that's married to them that's uniting with them that's already a certain level of adultery that began eventually this type of psychological or mental adultery eventually culminates with physical adultery adultery begins with the Mind an unclean mind is committing adultery on a regular basis a husband that watches pornography is a husband that will do everything that he sees in those movies with anybody in the world except his wife he's cheating on his wife on a regular basis but but since he doesn't have the physical opportunity to do it he doesn't do it it's not that he's loyal to his wife because he loves her he's loyal to his wife because those filthy pigs that he sees on the screen are not available to him but had they approach him had they give him the opportunity in a second he would abandon his wife literally in open daylight why because in his mind he's already there the same goes with the woman she watches all of these TV shows all of these soap operas all of these love stories these filthy books that they read she's thinking about oh he loves her oh he's so nice to her oh he's so handsome oh he saw this oh he saw that guess what she is committing adultery on a regular basis now the reason why she's not committing physical adultery is not because she loves her husband not because she loves her kids not because they're loyal to each other no has nothing to do with that simply put the opportunity hasn't been open yet all she has available to her is her mind but had the opportunity opened up and all of a sudden she finds herself in the room alone with this other person or persons don't think for a moment that she would stop and go back to her husband and say I love you not even for a second why she's been committing adultery the whole time hence the reason why the ramban before he told us that we have to get to a point of thinking pure thoughts we had a whole preparation of purifying our mind purifying our actions purifying our n the whole preparation to get to here why because if you didn't do any of the parts in the first 29 lectures of this series certainly you will not achieve any success in this one because to have a pure mind is not just something that happens just like adultery doesn't just happen it's all based on the preparation as the says a person should be careful of what he sees during a day lest he see evil at night if he sees things during a day that are forbidden he will end up wasting seed at night needless to say the same concept goes for a woman if she allows herself to watch all types of things that are forbidden she watches all types of Hollywood films she goes to all types of forbidden stores to see all types of emodest clothes she looks at all types of emodest women not just men with she looks at other immodest women with admiration guess what she is vicariously living through these immodest women and her mind is little by little becoming more tainted as she admires them more and more so here the ran is telling us do not think of sin do not think of any type of impure lust it will not bring you any good so now naturally we say oh this finished right okay so think about the great sages don't think about pornography and all types of other filth and you'll have uh yeah if you stay married why this is not for everybody even if it's for you it doesn't mean it's for your spouse hence the reason why the ramban continues and says rather one should think only of holy things and think of the Holy righteous ones men of holy knowledge and wisdom so it is fitting that he must calm his wife's mind make her happy with joyous words that Delight the heart so that she shall drawn shall be drawn to him with holy and pure thoughts for by the pure and the clean love they will have for each other at the time of their Union so will be the Brilliance and the intelligence of the child so here the ran is telling you within inside you know between the lines you can't just expect your wife I.E your husband or your husband I should say not I to simply be on the same level as you you've been watching all of these lectures you're looking to purify yourself your spouse hasn't been watching these lectures your spouse to the best of their knowledge intimacy is has a holy uh uh Endeavor which is to bring babies holy babies not holy babies that's up to God what's what does he have to have in his mind what does she have to have on our mind nothing just do what you have to do and as long as you do it everything's okay no matter what you have on your mind in so many words the average person out there thinks that as long as you don't act on the lustful thoughts that you have in your mind however inappropriate they are you're not cheating you're not committing adultery you're not doing anything wrong it's only in your mind oh no we don't we don't cheat on each other we think about this we think about that we watch this we watch that but we're committed and loyal to each other for now so you have been watching you have been learning and you want to sanctify yourself your spouse has no idea what you're talking about you tell your spouse listen I'm going to think about holy sages if you're a guy your your wife's going to ask her honey are you okay are you lgbtq or what do you mean holy sages what's wrong with you if it's if you're a woman you tell your husband listen honey I'm going to think about holy sages on on dirt he's like whoa you cheating on me now what are you think about what are you thinking about so if your spouse has never heard any of these lectures they have no idea what you're talking about to them thinking about anything is perfectly fine as long as it's not about something that conflicts with their ideology so now if you tell your wife I need I want you to think about holy sages she's not really going to know what the hell you're talking about in fact she may not even want to be intimate with you after you say such a thing hence the reason why the ramban is saying make her happy calm her mind make her happy with joyous words Delight her heart meaning you have to entice her you have to make sure she's happy because the happier she is the more she feels your love before during after the more she will be in inclined to unify our mind and be where your mind is and where you want it to be but if you think that they're simply going to do it just because you said so you haven't learned anything in fact you have to make sure that whatever you're doing is not ruining it for them because the act itself is supposed to be pleasurable not just physically but mentally so if you're thinking that oh yeah I'm going to sanctify my mind I'm going to think about all types of holy things but your wife is still on first grade she has no idea what you're talking about this holy thing she's thinking about honey I love you I love you I want you to tell me you love me I want you to tell me I'm pretty I want you to tell me that I'm the best and you're one of these people what do you mean the best what you mean I love you come on I'm thinking about here I'm thinking about the you're a not you're thinking about you're you're donkey why you have to make sure she's happy which means stay in your lane together with her now sometimes guys are very stingy but not with money with work words with compliments they simply don't know how to give compliments or their compliments have like anniversary dates because they only give them once in a blue moon if you want to have a happy marriage whatever you do as far as good deeds as far as mitv as far ASA should be nothing in comparison to the amount of compliments you give your wife literally every other word every other time you see your wife you should have something Ty of compliment oh you look pretty oh I love you oh I love the food oh I like your shoes constant compliments literally a sea of compliments and guess what you're going to say wait but she's going to know it's fake I don't really like those shoes I don't really care about her bag guess what even if she knows it's fake she doesn't care she likes hear it why she's a woman if her husband is telling her nice things that's the greatest gift in the world that's like the just appeared at our house but you Mr stingy not with money you're willing to buy her a brand new $3,000 bag now what money you willing to buy her a brand new $150,000 car now what money you willing to buy her another vacation house you're only going to visit once in our life you're willing but that's not what she's looking for if you would have given her the compliments that she wanted she wouldn't need that second house she would have need all the extra jewelry she would need 50,000 pairs of shoes or maybe she would because they like shoes but literally many times women chase after material in order to replace emotional deficiencies if she gets the comp compl from you the affection from you the hugs the kisses the the the I love yous then guess what she will think whatever you wanted to think she'll be as happy as ever thinking about it and purify her mind why she knows you with her and not with some other woman because you're constantly complimenting her you're constantly telling her how beautiful she is but if you're one of those people that you're waiting for an anniversary you're waiting for a birthday you're waiting for Shabbat once a week to compliment your your wife you my friend are closer to being a donkey than a holy person in fact the donkey has more sanctity than you because a donkey is used for Holy things even if it doesn't say compliment to its uh wife donkey because in order to achieve Holiness a person has to understand everything every Torah that you learned before you got married is equivalent to almost nothing in comparison to the Torah you learn and practice after you're married that's in the and when a person understands that he needs his wife in order to elevate himself he can't just do it by himself you can learn 24 hours a day if your wife's not with you you got a problem your n is missing a piece you can learn you learn you can learn learn you can learn the the you could learn all the you if your wife's not with you you got a serious problem why your is missing a piece if your wife feels that you're simply don't care about her last time you told her she's pretty was when you got married last time you told her that you love her was when you're in a hospital bed with some morphine in your in your veins because of how much pain you were in last time you told her that she's the number one thing in your life was in her dreams because it never happened in reality you reaching Holiness is literally as likely as one of these lgbtqs giving birth to a human being so a person has to understand that you have to go together it's a package deal now that means that even though you've watched all of 30 of these lectures and you're going to watch more always remember today you got to go up together which means if she wants you to tell her that she's beautiful during a time of Union that's what you say if she wants you to tell her you she wants you to tell her all types of compliments that's what you do why make her happy this doesn't negate your ability to think of holy things and you say yeah but I could think of holy things better if she I don't say those things yeah but then you'll end up either being alone or making her miserable which both again defeat the purpose so how do I get her to join join me says the ramban make her happy with joyous words that Delight the heart so that she shall be drawn to him with holy and pure thoughts for by the pure and clean love they will have for each other at the time of their Union so will the Brilliance and intelligence of the child see here the rambana is giving us the secret where he's telling us the more she feels Your Love the pure our mind is going to be in fact the uh writes in that the reason why the page 49 says that a person should always marry the daughter of a if you want to pick a wife don't pick her because she's the most beautiful the most rich pick her based on where she comes from so choice number one daughter of a that's Choice number one choice if you don't have the ability to find a daughter of a then marry the daughter of someone that collects staka for the community someone that goes and collects staka to to raise money for for for a building to for yes for the orphans for the uh to feed the poor marry his daughter marry his daughter if you can but if you can't you don't have anybody like that that is willing to give you his daughter then marry somebody it's a kosher gab cleans the Shool is a good uh uh a leader brings K together arranges shim do that but says the under no condition should you marry the daughter of an don't marry a daughter of somebody that's an ignoramus do not under any condition why because what did she learn from my father nothing and that's actually one of the things that says that if you want to know how your wife is going to be look at how she is with her parents if she respects her parents she honors her parents she's polite with her parents she'll be with you but if she's one of those she curses her parents out she yells at them she curses at them she is disrespectful to them all of that and more will be done to you why that's what she learned so it says the why why married a daughter of a because that daughter of a will know how to have pure thoughts at the time of intimacy because she learned Purity at a holy home what did she learn she didn't learn gossip she didn't learn Oprah Winfrey she didn't learn the uh the new uh reality show she didn't learn Tik Tok and Facebook what did she learn she learned Torah she learned M she learned she learned good things if she learned those good things that's what she'll be thinking at the time of intimacy that's the type of girl that a is comfortable giving a holy a new in fact when a person realizes that they have to do everything possible to make their wife happy not just before but also during and after the more they realize that this is a full-time job but that's why the reward is so great in fact the page says says same we've been with all day we've been learning with today says had the Torah not been given we would have learned modesty from the cat not to commit theft from the ant not to commit adultery from the Dove and proper manners of conduct for marital relations from the rooster which first appeases its mate and then has relations with it so says if it wasn't for the Torah who already has all of the teachings within his creation in order for us to know how he wants us to behave modesty we'd learn from a cat because a cat doesn't defecate next to anyone and also after he does or she does the cat covers it showing modesty hence the reason a woman must always be modest a man must always be modest also learn honesty from the ant the ant Works in such a fashion where it's very very ambitious but also it's very honest where it never steals from anybody the ant doesn't steal from any other ants once another ant touches another food no other ant will touch it the dove will teach us how not to commit adultery because the dove is one of the creations that's most amazing where the dove mates only with one other Dove their whole life it doesn't go and changes a meate every other day like some of the other animals and then says that we would learn the proper manners of conduct for marital relations for intimacy from the rooster how because the rooster first appeases its mate and then has relations so the asks how does the rooster appease its mate so actually rud rud answers the name of R and says the rooster we understand the rooster language why because the they knew all the languages including the language of the animals the rooster tells the woman rooster Mrs roer the chicken I'll buy you a coat that's going to reach down from your head to your feet buy your fancy coat and after the rooster she likes what she hears he's going to buy her something he's giving her compliments she gives herself after meeting the rooster says to her May the crest of my uh head you know the uh he's talking about himself but the his his manhood is his uh what's on top of his head May the crest of my head be cut off if I don't buy you as soon as I have the money to do it meaning right now I don't have the money to do it but if as soon as I get the money to do it I'll buy you whatever you want so says the this is the right way to behave where a man has to know that the wife is not a baby oven nor is she a place for you to Simply relieve yourself and if you want to have a healthy relationship and you want to have a relationship that lasts and you want to have a happy relationship then you have to make sure you become much much more generous than you are when it comes to compliments all the time not just during intimacy because as we said you practice you you play the way you practice if you're constantly generous with compliments it's going to be easy and natural for you to do it at the most OP you know important times right before and during the intimacy but if you're one of those people that is like we said one that's waiting for an anniversary to happen in order for you to give a compliment as if you just gave her a h you know keys to a house then guess what you're also going to be one of those rare people that doesn't give a compliment even during that times and when he does it's like the worst compliment in the world oh yeah you remind me of this really beautiful girl I saw what who what that's the way you're going to be what cuz you're so when it comes to giving compliments you don't even know how to do it so learn from the rooster the rooster compliments constantly gives gifts is generous that is what is necessary that is what is necessary had it not been necessary it wouldn't be written as a critical part of the oral toah it wouldn't be written within creation as a place for us to learn from the creation itself in fact if a person only thinks about them themselves and how they want to do what they want to do without thinking about their spouse thinking that they could achieve Holiness by thems then sometimes they could be further from Holiness than even their spouse well there are sometimes people that either they send a message or they make a silly comment online and sometimes it's just I scratch my head and I'm wondering like how do these people know how to you know get dressed in the morning some of the things that they say are truly ridiculous but I know that the yet fools a person to thinking that the most ridiculous things that they're doing are actually good I'll give you a couple of examples a person comes and he uh starts asking questions about how it's really important to be particular about honoring Shabbat and eating the three meals and making sure that you all also keep Ru oh great that all sounds good and how he does it and he's been particular particular about this already for many years so far so good until you know or you find out that as holy as his Shabbat looks he's really more like asav than he is yov because all he's doing is making himself feel good for the constant sin that he's making by being married to a non-jewish woman or making herself feel good for being being married to a non-jewish man well they figure I'm doing this because that's so good so you know it's good right no you have to fix the tragedy in your house and stop pretending like you're a lot more righteous than what you are similar to what asav was doing how he was like arguing with the rabbi arguing with saying how much should I give should I give on the salt should I give what on assault you just murdered somebody what Shabbat you're married to a non-jew what what are you talking about you have to fix the problems I'm not saying don't do what I'm saying is stop pretending you're something that you're not especially when the violations that some people are making are so obvious that it makes everybody else confused that is if whether you're sane or not so don't be one of these people where you're so focused on pretending to be somebody else that you forget who you need to be some people pretend to be their Rabbi other people pretend to be some sadik that died 500 years ago other people pretend to be different things don't pretend know where you stand and more importantly also know where your spouse stands and try to go up together try to grow together have patience for them have confidence in them pray for them ask for them do whatever you can to go up together and don't think that if you're doing really good that's sufficient it's not sufficient one of the things that I really dislike I know that a lot of people do it but I dislike it is they pretend to be all types of people and one of the ways they pretend is that they have like their screen names as you know like on Facebook and other types of social medias that is is not you know it's doesn't require you to have a real name so they'll call themselves babaali or something like you're not the basali like why you calling why is your screen name basali whatever your name is your name be proud of who you are and if you're not proud of who you are then do something to make yourself proud of who you are don't try to be something that you're not be better at wherever you are focus on wherever you are and then bring up your spouse along with you now how do I know that I'm right because just gifted me a gift now has gifted me this gift few times but I have a gift special gift where I know right now this moment in the world one of the most righteous people on planet Earth they don't even know that they're righteous but I have a source in the that says so and I know a few of those and they also don't know how righteous they are I'll tell you a story without mentioning names cuz I didn't get permission to mention names but I'm sure that at some point that will come out from them but some time ago person that's been watching my shim for a long time writes me a letter they say I've been following your lectures for many years particularly the ones relating to to issues of morality he says my wife and I have two children she doesn't want any more kids citing financial and personal reasons she also doesn't want to use any kosher methods of contraception which leads us to waste seed and uh nothing seems to work as far as changing her it's been going on for years and I don't know what to do as far as her going to the mikve she goes to the mikve only when he's on top of her and insists that she goes but she doesn't really see any benefits in it the kosher as far as food but she doesn't even keep Shabbat she drives to shabbat she's on a phone while I'm on I'm in SHO with my son what should I do the guy was on the borderline of divorce he's miserable she's miserable I'm sure the kids are miserable misery but he didn't want to give up you didn't want to give up but it's tough he's watching lectures he's learning more he's doing more and his spouse his wife is doing the exact opposite she cares less about everything she doesn't keep Shabbat barely even keeps family Purity cares less about kosher intimacy what's this guy going to do I write him an email giving him some guidance they tell him what he's saying to me doesn't sound like marriage but rather a relationship out of convenience whether you want to divorce or not it won't last if it continues this way since the sinful Behavior grows over time and gets worse I would recommend that you sit down with her and request that she live a religious life with you as you dedicate time to learn with her each day 15 minutes to one hour per day is a great start and if she doesn't want to change then it simply means she doesn't want to be married because even if she doesn't like the laws people that love each other other make compromises all the time in order to make each other happy if she's uninterested in that then she is interested in something that is not in this marriage and lastly I would recommend that you watch these two videos together with you from the start to finish after you're done let me know what she has to say I gave recommendation of a couple of videos one of them was the story of my personal life and I sent the email after praying a little bit that it works sometime past I didn't hear anything and with my busy schedule I don't really remember every single thing that I do so usually I I depend on people getting in touch with me to let me know several months passed and he finally responds to me or he sends me a message back he says I following hi Rabbi first and foremost thank you for the answer second I want to five you an update since you wrote me a few months ago my wife watched your movie Hashem took back his millions and since then things have changed dramatically she now go agrees to observe all family Purity laws as well as entertaining kosher marital relationships meaning to for for the sake of Jewish intimacy she keeps she keeps now a strictly kosher kitchen bakes kala every week she insists on enrolling the kids in a strictly Orthodox schools and she has even become an advocate to her friends telling her secular friends that their husbands need to put on tan every day observe Shabbat and put on mled on their doors this is a drastic change for someone who has been fighting me for years on religion and who initially grew up in a secular household he said two years ago I told you about my marital situation my wife wanted to divorce because of my chuva fast forward two years things have changed for the better this is nothing short of a miracle and I pray that it continues to grow in this direction I keep sending her your shim and we love the daily short clips you publish and the new program you featured with your student Moshe is terrific thank you and what does it have to do with the most righteous person my response and I know this may shock some of you but this is what the response is it's absolutely amazing please tell your wife that she is a hero no less than the great matriarchs for overcoming the yet that was trying to destroy her and your whole family you will continue to grow in T and see more open Miracles when needed on a regular basis thank you for giving me this wonderful news please do continue to send me updates and any questions needed a windfall of blessings will continue coming to your home to the point where every one you will know everyone you know will see the and do well we can one day have you on the podcast as well truly miraculous news requires me to read T number 100 and then I send another mail the point being is the comment of saying that she's a hero no less than the matriarchs may shock some people but thear says in multiple places one of them being in a place that stand even don't stand a woman that was fighting family Purity the very Foundation of Judaism a woman was fighting the basics means this woman had a very big after using one of A's tools of this generation which is my personal life story to spark up this showed us how great this woman really is how great this family is and how many wonderful things are going to be coming to the world as result of this one family why because as you can see it's not just okay you know what I watched the movie fine fine okay you know what I'll eat kosher no no no right away this person realizes the truth it becomes like a fire a fire of Kusa once I know it's true I'm taking on everything family Purity kosher intimacy kiru koser schools Orthodox schools everything and this is literally seems like overnight but it's not that Z says that there are certain that are held hostage by the Satan if they release thems they have the greatest potential DAV was one of them was one of them uh um R AKA was one of them some of the greatest people in history were one of them when a person sees the truth and that spark lights up like that that's a big deal people that do chuva in this fashion like some of the people that I deal with that I talk to that I have a privilege to spark them up a little bit to get them to become who they really are these are the most righteous people in the world these are the most extraordinary people in the world and you you every one of you has the same exact opportunity to be the same but it all starts with what's on your mind if you allow your mind to consume filth you will never reach your potential your spouse will never reach their potential but if you allow your mind to consume the holy Torah your n can become the greatest thing the world has ever seen just like that now they may not realize what they've done I have enough experience already to know who's who and what's what and I understand a lot of good things are going to come from this family I've seen a few of them before and see many more I can assure you that when a person is willing to be holy even during intimacy that means means that that Soul has a lot more potential than it even realizes when a person is willing to S sanctify themselves during such a time that's a special person but guess what they can't do it alone if it wasn't for her husband she'd never be and if it wasn't for his wife he never reaches potential with she hasn't even scratched the surface yet what they can do together is truly unbelievable some of the greatest people I've met have been such people people that simply realized we need each other we need each other not just for financial reasons not just for interesting conversations we need each other in order to reach our mutual full potential this is one of the gifts that aad gives us that you could both reach your full potential and enjoy the process Jewish intimacy is not just an act to produce children it's not just an act to fulfill some physical desire it's not just an act to be like the Nations it's an act that tells you exactly where you stand both with your relationship with a as well as with each other but more than anything else it tells you how unified you really are thank you for learning with me May hasem bless each and every single one of you to achieve your full potential together will learn again [Music] tomorrow the moment I knew that Rabbi iron was my Rabbi when I was in yiva I fell in love I already met my future wife you know and I was like I don't know what I should do like I was kind of battling with like this thing inside I was like there's telling me like I should stay grow you know at the Yesa Rabbi iron just reaches out to me out of the blue and he says by the way if they're asking you to stay and you're trying to decide if you should stay or go back to continue dating this girl you go back and continue this Gale you're not going to get another sh like this and I was like how did he just know what I was just dealing with and I said okay that's it you know B should I should I not and I said this is my R that's it like this is for me this is Hashem sending him like this is what I got to listen to [Music] [Applause] [Music]