Why I almost killed someone in Ukraine... - Chilling encounter from the Ba'al Shem Tov's Beit Din

[Music] foreign [Music] everybody hope you had a wonderful Channel I wish you now before we start I'm humbly asking you to turn your phones off and today we're gonna have a very interesting class you are in for a treat and another humble request of mine is no comments no questions no ooze no Oz silence that's what I'm humbly requesting from you because I'm not going to answer any of your questions and I'm not going to turn to any of the oohs you can do quietly okay uh it's a very intense story what I'm about to tell you and any disturbances won't uh won't fit well so I was in Oman for the ones of you who didn't know and I came back with some stories and if you remember years back when I used to travel all the time then every time I would travel for a tour of lectures come back with 20 20 lectures full of material because that's when you get the material when you when you go out to the world is to read from a book anybody can read from a book so needless to say the adventure was uh definitely an adventure definitely a lot of material to talk about but today I chose to talk about a certain story a certain event that happened throughout the trip that I found not only powerful moving intense and crazy but also has a very powerful message and and like the place that it happened it happened at the holy gravesite of the Baal shemtov what I'm about to tell you so like the teachings of the Bible shemtov everything that happens to you in your life then you have to analyze and see why is it happening to you in that way and what is God trying to tell you now if you don't live your life like that in any encounter that you have then start adopting this attitude that everything that happens to you before you get angry before you get upset before you become judgmental before you get hurt before anything you analyze what was going on the entire scenario with all the details and you need to come to conclusions why it happened in the manner that it happened and what is God trying to tell you so from many many many uh amazing events that happen I will share with you in the next few weeks like I told you I have material now to keep you occupied for a few classes but in general of course the experience was very special I'm trying to be tour observant for the last 22 years this is the first time that I went to Oman of course for the ones who don't know it's the gravesite of rabi natman from breslev where hundreds and thousands of people go up to every year and Rosh Hashanah is the pick the highlight and I decided this year I don't even know what Spirit of inspiration came and I just bought tickets two days before Rosh Hashanah took my kids and a few friends and we went to uman which was definitely definitely an amazing experience but today I'm going to choose to tell you a story that didn't happen in Oman happened somewhere else in a place called mejibush so the ones who are a little bit more interested in the Hasidic lineage this is the birthplace of the balcanto where the balship live and where he's now resting and before I start just a few notes that are very very very important first of all for the viewers uh it's going to be a might be a long lecture uh I don't know I'll try to make it very short but sometimes it becomes long the second thing for the viewers of course like share comment all that stuff I heard it's very good for the videos as it is YouTube is uh I'm on YouTube's uh range so the more we make me look good on YouTube more chances the channel will stay so like the video share this share the video because the story is just insane that's the first thing now I need to give you a little bit of a background before I'm telling you the story because most people like you don't know me you sit here or behind the screen you look at me you learn you maybe get inspired maybe sometimes laugh but most people don't know me don't know nothing about me nothing about my past nothing about my personality and many of the things I'm not interested in the world you know it's none of your business I'm I even though I'm a public figure I speak I travel and all that I am not a friendly individual like I told you many times and I'm not a social guy I don't hang out and and now in Oman yeah first of all excuse me I came back sick my throat hurts uh I my nosy stuff so if I make some weird noises throughout the class I apologize uh but uh like I was saying most people don't know me and I said that not once and not twice I'm not my personalities are not an outgoing personality if it wasn't hashem's wish and command for me to talk or to teach you won't even know my name you won't even know who I am it's very important that you know after 20 plus years that you know me that you really start to getting to know me a lot of people tell me that's what I heard in Oman maybe five thousand times you don't know me but I know you okay now I watch all your videos okay some of them don't even know my name I want y'all what's your name again but I knew that's one of the many reasons why I never went to a woman I knew I'm not going to be able to eat sleep walk pray or do anything there but to take selfies so Friday afternoon it took me about two and a half hours to walk 300 meters it included about 500 hugs and 3 000 selfies so that's every every second which is fine this is fine it's great I like meeting my students my followers but why am I saying that because a lot of people know the image of what they see on the screen and they don't know the person which is fine don't need to know every individual and I'm happy with that I'm not uh so Keen to share my personal life with the entire world even though ninety percent of my lectures is my personal life with that said most people don't really know me they think my life started 22 years ago when I had my near-death experience and since then I'm a nice guy with a long beard and I teach Dora and and you just see the good but nobody saw the the pre uh period of the alone that you know so for 20 years by the way 90 of what was going on in my life free the change and during the change was not shared because I'm not interested and for many different reasons the last few years slowly slowly I started throwing in some lectures different details about my past uh but now time has passed enough time when all the dots will be connected you'll understand but 20 years passed so now it's easier for me to start exposing a little bit of my past a because legally the time has passed and I'm not in a in a legal Danger second of all if I would come out which was around I think 2008 to 2009 was the first videos that I loaded on the internet probably one of the first uh Torah related content that was loaded on the internet so at the time when I started lecturing filming classes traveling and teaching I was not known nobody knew about me anything and my exposure was through my near-death experience that that's what gave me the stage in all of my lectures all the times I always say I'm only sharing with you maybe one or two percent of the story so I never denied that I just I'm not sharing with you all the information and one of the many reasons is not to lose credibility if I would tell you everything in the near-death experience you will probably Mark me as a nutcase especially if I would say that 15 years ago uh if I would talk about the conspiracies that I talk about today 15 years ago you would completely ask me not ever listen to me and it's not that I didn't know it 15 years ago you were just not ready to hear it but all the conspiracies that I'm talking about and the 98 that I'm not talking about I already knew when it happened 20 years ago 15 years ago it just wasn't the time to come to the world and tell them aboc because I would lose my credibility people will not listen when I come to talk about my personal story in lectures I don't tell all the details only because it's irrelevant I have my hooks how I hook the person with interest and then I pull them closer to me that I can hopefully affect them and change their spiritual DNA to look more towards Hashem so a lot of the details don't need to come in because people are judgmental people are very quick to judge people don't see Beyond the Horizon they see what's in front of you so for many many years I chose wisely not to say a lot of things I'll give you an example along the line when I became observant and I came to one of the communities at the time where I was learning Torah and I was showing interest to some of the people that I know that I'm looking to get married they all told me the same thing oh when you go on a day don't tell your potential wife you have tattoos ah so one day we'll marry I'll get undressed and she'll be like what you didn't tell me about these covers with tattoos what kind of approach is that I'm gonna sit in front of a woman I'm not gonna tell her my past what you'll find out that half a year after a married with her what kind of a distorted approach is that but that's the the attitude I got who don't say about it don't say about that so I knew that most people especially in very close communities are extremely judgmental and they put an extra new for one second if you just said the wrong thing and especially as the years went by my goal and I'm saying it clearly this is a shims wheel it's not my will I did not volunteer for the job I don't like the job and if it would be up to me I will I will quit today oh it's hashem's will I'm doing my apart the cabalato or with accepting the yoke so I can came to the tour world with the two different types of backgrounds that are very powerful very polar but I apply them to my Torah world and to my Outreach one of them I came from a business background and the other background is a criminal background put the business in criminal background together and apply that into Torah then you'll get a rabbi another so like I told you I came into the to the show with the plan my plan is not to reveal all the cards because you won't listen to me if I would talk very blunt 15 years ago I would have three followers that's it because I would be taken as a completely nut case so if you are one of the Avid followers you saw the Evolution how I started and how slowly slowly I'm able to give more information why now I already have credit now I'm credible I have a lot of followers I have a lot of story online I already proved to the world who's alone okay I didn't prove it by the way this is just the beginning one interesting comment that I got now in Oman over and over and over and I'm getting it all the time I'm just saying it now in Oman because I saw hundreds if not thousands of my followers which was actually very interesting to see because I quickly made an analysis there was the group of people who saw me and they were like like that okay no movement I love these people they just from far away like oh okay okay standing like that you know the ones stand like this like as if I don't know that you're filming yeah you're standing with your phone attached to your chest you're not filming it yeah so and then there's the group of the ones who don't care and they just run up to me and they're my best friends they know me from 5 000 years ago and they hugging me kissing me and and then there's of course the ones who don't know me so they don't understand why is this guy in the center and everybody's taking pictures of him and then they're the ones who can't stab me and I see them for a far like he's showing his ugly face here what he's gonna say now that the war is a conspiracy so I saw all my uh true fans that are uh very happy with what I say which was actually pretty entertaining to see these people but one comment that I got the most and again it's not about showing off or being a putz most of the comments that I got from people that I ran into the street is along the line is that everything that you said in the last five years everything is true and everything and everything came true that's it so as they say the proof is in the pudding now I don't have to prove myself that's it and it's and again don't approach people think um a pots I'm arrogant I'm I'm bad I'm not I'm just a talk I'm not gonna change the way I how I talk to cater the ears of sensitive people so why am I saying all this that the time has come in the right increments then I'm gonna start the uh slowly slowly sharing with you more things about my past which 10 years ago you would think bad about me Maybe a I don't care who thinks what about me I care what God thinks about me let's put this straight and don't get offended the second thing is is that everything that brought me to where I am is fundamental so I have said here and there in some lectures I've been to jail I did this I did that but it's very like vague nobody knows how to put the dots together Mama's saying all this because I need before I'm telling you the story I'm about to tell you I need to take you 30 years back that you know a little bit a little bit who's the person you are looking at because most people when they look at me they're saying you're so refined you're so nice you're so applied you speak so soft I can't even imagine you're raising your voice so the transformation was good but the reality is that I wasn't like that and a five minute background and I'm not gonna spend too much time on it you'll have to wait for other videos but I grew up in a normal family normal parents normal family it's not that I grew up to some criminal family or some crazy family for whatever reason from day one I had a severe anger issue okay I was out of control when I would get angry I told you that many many times all my life since the age of four I I trained in martial arts by the time I was 15 I was already a black belt and I was a very strong teenager I was the height that I'm now I was muscular I was extremely violent and I was very good at it then life took me through a course that from the age of 12 I don't know why and it's irrelevant right now I became extremely rebellious to a set of good parents that don't know how to deal with such an individual and by the age of 15 I was in in so much trouble with the police with authorities with Department of Education I was a real real hard kid you see my mother coming here all the time she was praying with us now on Yom Kippur I told my mom many times she doesn't need to pray she doesn't do anything she's going to gun Eden without any questions she's just gonna Waltz into grenadin without even showing a name tag every white hair that she has that's one of my arrests the thick white hairs that's uh my poor mom so life led me to go down a very uh I don't know what to call it I was about to say dark past it's not a dark path because it's a it was a path that was dim for a few years and then lit up but the way it went is from the age of 15 only long I would get in trouble with the police I had numerous cases in the police all violence later on it became worse than in the Army I started becoming in trouble everywhere I went to the reputation that was going in front of me is trouble and from one major reason I could not control my anger if somebody would look at me the wrong way it would right away be violent and then of course you hang out with the wrong crowd of people you get in trouble now when you get in trouble they don't send you to good schools when you get in trouble they send you to the bad schools so now you have to deal with more trouble so like I told you it's a five minute intro I don't wanna now analyze my childhood but I was a very very troubled individual trouble not that I had issues I just gone and traveled somehow I was a magnet for trouble it got to a point that after the Army in Israel I got in so much trouble here with the police and in the with the mafia and the underground here underground how do you say underground there were the under uh how do you say like the underworld in Israel say underground whatever it got so bad that I had to leave the country that's why I left Israel when I was 21 22 something like that okay needless to say I didn't go to Yale to learn law I went to other places to break the law and from the age of about 22 until the age of 27 when the near-death experience happened which I'm sure you connected a lot the near this experience happened from excessive use of drugs it didn't happen from a vaccine uh for about five years at least I was heavily using drugs addicted to almost anything that exists cocaine crystal meth ecstasy LSD heroin whatever you whatever you can put in your body in any type of a way I was the portal uh uh and with a insane hunger for money for five or six years I ran a sophisticated deadly cartel of drugs it was insane in in its magnitude I was trafficking drugs selling drugs supplying drugs I was the producer of massive Raves and events I'm talking about parties of 15 000 people 20 000 people where I'm the one I told you I have a lot of business backgrounds where I'm doing the parties but also supplying the drugs it went out of control that the the front end to disguise the whole thing was moving companies I had dozens of trucks running on the roads of North America smuggling weapons smuggling drugs smuggling people it became uh uh a massive organization and needless to say with that comes extortion and violence and frauds and and needless to say I was rich very very wealthy living a lifestyle of a drug dealer I was 24 25 26 the pictures that you sometimes see on the internet before that these are the pictures and I lived my life like uh like a like a needless to say a psychopath complete psychopath and at some point and I'm telling you a very short version of it and there are some classes online that I talk about it more and it's not what I want to talk about you but you need to understand uh all this for a five minute story now needless to say as all this is happening and you have to try to imagine I mean I'm sure you saw some of the pictures in the internet I have long hair tattoos piercings in my nose my ears my lips I look like a complete nutcase and the lifestyle was an insane lifestyle insane insane lifestyle in Hollywood they cannot come up with with such ideas the lifestyle how I led my life hundreds of people underneath me operating a whole network of smuggling people into the country trafficking drugs trafficking weapons and in things that technically I should be sitting 500 years in jail and I don't want to talk about many other things that involved with that you use your imagination what's involved in that the violence the corruption and many other things then lead us to say at some point it was so much that the amount of drugs that was consumed I just that's it collapsed and of course that's where starts the near-death experience and most people don't know but the first year I was extremely sick was going through rehab going through detox Going Through Hell throughout the time of me running my cartel I had two agencies trying to figure out what's going on the D.A and the FBI the D.A couldn't figure out what I'm doing three years they're on my on my tail they don't know what I'm doing they could not nail me for their life at the end the FBI joined in and they nailed me on anything that they can but what I did so a year after my nearest experience I'm starting my chuva I get arrested by the FBI the rest would not shame the arrest of a Bin Laden or or Saddam Hussein that's how it looked it was two months after 9 11. and they thought were terrorists I mean they arrested US it was like in a movie helicopters in the sky Marshals surrounding the house federal agents raiding their their house my poor mom is standing there like a H anyways and I'm going to jail I was charged with 47 counts on my indictment that the prosecution demanded 40 years in jail and then then they were saying we are still investigating connections to drugs and terrorism and blah blah blah blah I have no bill I can't get out of jail and I end up sitting in jail for a year and a half which really that's where I did Chula my true is not in uman or with some chabadnik and putting filling or or sitting in a Shiva with a mishna my juva was in jail that half the time that I would talk to Hashem was in a puddle of my own blood five times I was they tried to kill me five attempts I went through hell in jail I can't even start expressing to you what was jail but my Chua was from jail we just now went through Yom Kippur and what did we say before Hashem shiram a lot right I called yashem from the depth my call to Hashem was there's no lower than that no lower than that a year and a half of torture mentally emotionally physically and that's where I do too much I come out of jail I don't I don't even have a rabbi to teach him what to do but that's when I did Chula was not in a forest going like this was in a cell a a cast beaten up broken bones and that's what makes you laugh for a year and a half and I have stories from here till I can sell series to Netflix just when I went in jail not talking about before that I'm not talking about the lifestyle how I was and needless to say uh that story I shared but uh [Music] decided to come through and Against All Odds we were arrested 127 people in the entire uh arrest two of the people got out of it which is me and my famous friend itzik from all my stories the ones that I called him to put filling on on Shabbat the only two people who did really chuba got out of it I have friends that are still sitting in jail I have a friend who came out of jail two years ago 17 years in jail and half of them deported arrested for different things I mean it was a big big thing all over the news of course and just as you see the magnitude I don't know if you're familiar at the time the head of the New York Italian mafia was John Gotti my trial was back to back with John Gotti my trial same room same judge one after the other that that's the caliber how they looked at it if you don't know go look it up John Gotti from The Gambino family he's the head of the Italian mafia in in New York our trials were back to back same judge and I came out of it a miracle that you can't even imagine my wife for 20 years is telling me you're telling the wrong story to the people the miracle is not how you came from shamaim to this world the Miracles how you came from Chicago to New York and that is a miracle unbelievable Miracles because I went out of this whole thing like that with no problem I mean they took all my money they took a year and a half of my life plus another half a year of torture and investigation but it it finished Helen of course started my new life and that's where the story ends or begins now why is it very important for you to know the uh the the character the figure because there's no ways to emphasize it in words but I had one issue that my anger would get ignited in seconds not even in seconds sometimes there was a split of a second my friends my nickname and it's a stupid nickname but my friends used to call me bumpitom boom is a boom it can be a punch and it can be anything that is a boom and pitom is suddenly that will sit and just freak out and beat somebody up but bad I that's why uh my leadership in my organization was so strict because I was violent and if somebody would talk the wrong way then right away they would have to deal with the consequences and the Constitution consequences was very violent I was in you know Haze of craziness constantly with guns on me all my guys were armed I mean it was crazy I got involved with the worst worst gangs I had a contract by the Mexican cartel they wanted my head there was a contract on my head they were after me bombing my houses I mean there were because I stole a lot of their drugs I mean I mean the craziness you wouldn't even believe if I start telling you stories you won't even believe you say no no you're crazy you're making enough no can do cannot be that you did such things you look like such a nice guy laughs so uh and and again I'm just you have to understand the character uh uh and and and I'm I still worry if I'm holding back how much information I should give but just that you know then the the the the the the the approach everything I would solve with violence but severe violence with weapons I mean I would shoot people I constantly had guns on me I used to smuggle at Arms so the violence was extreme the good part of it that if I wouldn't be like that I would be dead in jail if I wouldn't have that streak in me I would be dead in jail after a week I wouldn't survive in jail because jail is just fighting and if you don't know how to fight and if you're not a lunatic that you're able to stab somebody with a plastic fork in their eye just to make a point then then you're not going to make it in jail you're either going to be a mattress or excuse me or you're going to be dead that's it so I had to be 10 times crazy in jail if not you're not you're not gonna survive so I'm going to stop with the exciting stories for now to fast forward 20 to years now by the way can you imagine how many years of chuva and tikuna midot and hard work and fasting and tilim and praying and whatever you want to come the the system down I think throughout the last 22 years I didn't even lose it but got upset like in a very bad way maybe three times some of you maybe saw it was in Joseph's Bar Mitzvah some of you there was an incident in my sons Joseph there was an incident in bar mitzvah that got me a little bit upset and and some people saw a little bit the rage coming into the eyes but Hashem is under control you have nothing to worry about uh uh it's under control okay but I I can I can humbly tell you it took years of very hard work to get to a point that reactions are not with words of hands and by the way as violent as I was physically it was 10 times worse my mouth I was deadly with my mouth I was mean in a in a disgusting way now when you understand the severity of my actions 10 years prior to machuva you can understand why part of my chuva had to be that I got beat up for a year and a half in jail that was a right says I'm gonna do exactly what you do you get what you put out there so 15 years of me being violent to the world a year and a half I I got my share back okay that that's how it works and I understood that I understood that my it's my actions Hashem made me this big in jail I had zero ego that's why people look at me now and tell me you are arrogant I'm not arrogant I have no ego I have no Gava ironed it for two years I went out of jail like this they took all my money millions of dollars millions of dollars tens of millions to be exact I'm not going to tell you the exact amount but as I was arrested and all that They confiscated everything that I had money real estate and Equipment that's how it was valued at almost 50 million dollars five zero not 5515 I'm not talking about the other probably one five zero that went out on parties drugs cars and and craziness and of course they took everything I went out of jail with zero money and about 15 million dollars of debts about 300 and something lawsuits against me a civil civil lawsuit I'm talking about now dealing with the government so you can imagine what I had to deal with what I had to juggle with in my first five years of being observant the one who gets who needs to get all the credit is not me is my wife who decided even to marry me a month before my trial my wedding was a month before my trial so uh the stories I can sit here now for two years tell you stories a you won't believe uh B it's just a long time but you are starting to understand a little bit the character everything was with violence and I wasn't afraid even from authorities even when a police first guy a police officer would stop me I would fight with them I had no like a respect authority almost any time a police will pull me over I would give them a physical gesture and and and start a pursue that I told you I think maybe a hundred times when I was 15 I think I told you that story we met maybe a hundred times when I was 15 years old my mom my mom had a nice sports car I would quietly at night two o'clock in the morning on my tippy toes go out and open the garage door quietly it would squeak I would open the garage door quietly put the car in neutral you know the olden days it was everything was gear put the car in your drill put the handbrake down and push the car quietly down the the driveway and down the alley and then start the car I had to do it far away because the engine had a loud engine was an Italian sports car an Alfa Romeo so when you start the car so I had to start a far away for half a year every night I would steal my mom's car pick up my boys my friends and we would get drunk and drive with a car just imagine the the irresponsibility and every time cops would try to catch me I would run away so I had no fear in from Authority oh I didn't have fear from anyone and the worst of all I didn't have fear from the Kenosha so the kadoshburg who made sure that I will be very afraid of him and it will already manifest down to be afraid of authorities but one deadly weapon that I had was my mouth my mouth's mouth was disgusting I I was sharp and I would right away see on the person in front of me their weak point and shoot Arrows with my mouth I was real mean real disgusting so I think you can start painting a little bit the personality of your dear Rabbi anaba and that's really nothing so with that said 22 years of hard work doing chuva refining myself etc etc etc so for 20 years the world in a field this uh anger or whatever it is my money baby even anger I don't know what it is but anyways now let's go to the story oh so somehow I don't know why I was invited to Uma this year because I tried to go to woman a few times I was in Kiev three times on my way to Oman and it didn't work one time I was detained by the the airport another time the snowstorm was way too big and the third time there wasn't any transportation and many times I wanted to go and again and it's not that by the way I'm not a breast lover I love all the study game um everything I I for me all that said they came out the same I don't hold by a group all the groups are great and that's it okay no need to but I also many times had an issue with going to a woman because in my backyard there's 400 said he came here I need to go now thousands of miles to Go Through Torture I have the Rizal I see the Arizona's grave for my house Malone is in front of me I mean no offense to any Sadiq but why do I need to go all the way there whenever Shimon in front of my face and and many others but anyways long story short somehow I don't even know how a spirit of ins of excitement came and Wednesday night I booked tickets to woman when Friday morning is is Rosh Hashanah of course I took my kids I made a whole thing of it I took my boys and a few of their friends tagged along and and and I was like okay listen I will uh try whatever happens happens if Hashem wants me in Oman then everything will work perfectly and obviously Hashem wanted me there everything tickets Transportation everything fell into place the only thing is that a when people ask how is uman when people ask me at the time I was like I'm gonna answer you when I'm done because if I answer you now then I will tell you it's horrible uh it's literally it's you know a friend of mine uh I I met him in a woman you might know him he's also speaks publicly online and he saw me there so he recorded a video and he tells me no how's it what's your experience of woman so I tell them it's borderline torture it's you have to be psychotic to to go into such an adventure took me 41 hour Journey 41 hours journey to come home and look how sick I am this is after I I I I'm already better so uh I will tell you in other classes a lot of the amazing experiences that I had there but I want to tell you now the highlight of the entire trip happened to be the kadoshburg who is unbelievable architect he's a he can be anything that he wants he's the best travel agent ever who prepared for me the trip everything was organized to a day and we couldn't find any tickets on the way back so we were delayed two days I said great now I have a full day to go through the graves of all that said they came in the Ukraine for that really you need two weeks because there's about 200 but at least the the big ones okay so we leave woman on Tuesday heading towards Poland to Krakow where our tickets are and we're marked on the way where we're going to stop so we start first at the Breslin at the Town breast live very exciting we pray then we're with a group of people and as I'm praying by the cavel and I've been to hundreds of kivrita De Kim I'm sure you experienced that maybe too that in some of the graves you don't feel anything and some of the graves you you're bowling now as a side note that I'm saying a lot of people say it's not a Jewish thing it's a Dollar Tree talking to the dead and don't even bring that when the Moshe Robin who sent the spies into Earth Israel and Yeshua and Caleb kind of went away from them they went to heaven they went to the cave to pray there so and this is one out of many references in the Torah that we go to pray at the Theon of the Sadiq that Sadiq is not a regular individual not the same we don't call it a grave we call it Sion Sion means a mark That's where that Sadiq decided to be buried in this world and that's his portal to the world above which means that wherever the tomb is wherever the tune is that's where the shama is and that's where he goes up and down from the world above to the world below and every given moment when you go there there's going to be the energy of the nashama if you go on the passing day what is called the hilula the young side he dies all there next to the Grave so you go there by default you get connected with the soul that is there that's it it's not like Dollar Tree it's not talking to the dead you know if you pray for to the Sadiq then you have a problem you pray to God in the Merit of the Sadiq okay so as I was praying by rabinatan uh it was nice wholly special and I it was just a clear in my mind and heart that I was like abhinathan is a great Sadiq he's not my Sadiq he's I I'm not connected to him I don't feel the the draw the draw or and we learn in that you know there's a like a uh uh the term the kabbalistic term is called showish a root but like a branch that birth is another branch that birth is another branch and many more branches leaves and fruit the same thing is with the sauce so the root of my soul whoever's above me who that's who I'm connected to can you connect to that Sadiq so was great amazing experience but I was it was interesting I was like okay that's it's not my Sadiq the second year we went into the car to drive to Meiji Bush then I started getting excited for some reason I have some type of a connection with the with the battleship I feel it very strong the whole drive from bresliff to meijibush I'm so excited I'm getting all hyped up and I'm trying to read I can't I'm I can't sit down I'm like I'm besides myself okay so we get to the ball shemtov by the way I have everything documented I videoed everything I filmed everything uh maybe on this video we'll do some editing and put some of the videos that you that you'll see the the the drive the footage okay we get to the Belgium and I'm so excited I'm like I'm like like a little kid brought to Toys R Us now throughout the year how the vacation I took with me three of my sons and a few of their friends tagged along uh my younger son don't you to think about my son but he's a little bit forgetful he forgets things now at some point it's it can get to you okay so we bought meals in Oman so you get like these cards and every meal you have to come with a card and they take it away he lost the cards now it's hug I can't get him new ones so he he kept losing things so and you have to really follow every word that I'm saying I'm trying to make a seven hour lecture an hour and a half so we have listen to the details so and you have to understand that the entire experience in Oman is torture it's not fun every encounter is a problem so my my system that is filtering shock waves from the world from affecting the nuclear reactor inside we're working overtime to calm me down from all the I don't work well in situations like that I I don't react well when I'm water from from sweat and 500 people are leaning on me and I'm trying to pray that's not me everything that can go wrong in uman went wrong a lot of people when they go to home and they're like ah what are that Israel they go crazy from that Israel now it's true you really see unbelievable about Israel there but it all depends what Hashem wants you to say if Hashem wants you to see that about Israel he'll show you that about Israel Hashem wants you to see the complete opposite then you'll see the complete opposite so all that I saw in uman was all the opposite we booked a room the guy took money and disappeared 12 o'clock in the afternoon is in five hours and with three of my boys I don't have where to sleep because some guy took my money and you know what they do there they whoever pays more then they give them the the whether it's the van the money the guy who picked us up with the van had a poster this big of a picture of me like that and I was telling the guy why pictures that because people kidnap the vans they come off the flight you don't mind come come if I tell him a thousand they'll say 1100 they'll take it so I saw the most disgusting behavior of Jews in situations like that and I'm telling you it was one event after the other I'll tell you the stories don't worry but I already was like on the last few Sparks of how much I can handle not reacting so so we go to the the belchem and uh we first of all we go to the Mayan to the microwave of the balchemtov which was insane experience and by the way after this uh an idea came about which uh um how if it will come I will say but I am thinking of taking a big group with me after pesach when it's good weather to Ukraine if it would be possible to do a civil to do a tour of different Graves uh if it will happen I will let you know and maybe you'll join me but I we went to the Mayan which was unbelievable experience and I'm going the Mayan is the Wellspring is the famous Mexico and I'm I'm like I'm sure you heard people say that they came back from um I am in a high level lights and this I'm telling you a different energy something out of this world I go out of the mix where I'm I'm not in this world okay we go back to the valentov and as we come back my son who was forgetful he tells me I forgot my glasses at the make way now that's like the 37th pair this year and each time it's a lot of money and I'm like why so I send my older son with a younger son in a cab and go look for the for the Francis some already irritated the whole simcha the whole excitement the whole uh energy was already soured with a drop of anger it's listen if you're a parent you'll relate once twice 30 come on nine look at your stuff just you know the whole trip I was like did you forget your phone where's your where's your where's your With This Wait he's not the problem the kid is not the problem I I'm the problem the kid is just the one who triggers my system okay so they go with the taxi oh and by the way we're very limited with time I mean we have a van that every Kevin 20 minutes half an hour we need to get to the Border so that's a big delay I'm already a little bit so outside of the bellshanto stands a woman with a table with all sorts of babushkot and matrushka and all these little things that are from Ukraine uh beautiful stuff I was like everything's like a dollar so I actually we were just packing it up I was just maybe you bought like all these things to my daughters and I don't even know why all her table was full of weapons and my boys are like hey let's take this so we get all these weird weapon knives and like with the uh they they had like these beautiful knives with a I think it's a goat leg which is the what holds the knife and like a beautiful wooden like uh how do you call where you put the knife in the ark or what the chief chief chief okay you know what I mean so so they had these beautiful weapons knives and these bats and how do you call slingshots everything a handmade I don't know why so we bought all the weapons my boys are excited hey let's look at this let's get that so all my bags is full of weapons okay so now it starts the story I'm going in and I go into the the area of the cemetery and I'm like I'm getting so excited I can't even contain what's going on in me we're going into the well shemtov wow wow wow wow if you don't know pause the video go watch the video and that I gave like three plus years ago it's the second video in the corona series videos where I shared my experience when I was four years ago in the hospital if you remember and that's when came the end on milvado I'm not gonna say anything go back to that story because the the person in White in Chennai was the balship so you have to understand the intensity of me coming close there that's the Yeshiva and this is the tion wow how nice this whole Little Village looks like from a storytell from a suit uh this is the grave of the grandson of the bow shemtov this is another grandson of the Bell symptom oh and you know what I have to say is this Abba today so I'm coming I'm going into the graveyard and I'm going with my phone filming everything I'm telling you I can't even explain to you the level of excitement I walk into the tune there's maybe six or seven Graves there and I walk through the grave of and I just touched the grave and I started bawling foreign my son is there and there was one guy he finished praying and he left I'm telling you I'm like balling my kishkas I'm like on the grave I don't even know what's going on tears are just coming out an emotion an emotional storm but the result of it I'm telling you I was in a I was in some I was in a different dimension I it wasn't in this world because there was nobody physically there my son was in the corner putting Phil in on and and I'm telling you I can't even express the feeling I'm in such a high um I don't know what's going on besides I'm like I'm high spiritually high but I feel I'm in a completely different dimension I'm not in this world and I'm like besides myself now I saw him reading I'm praying I'm talking to Hashem I'm like if you would see me I I I I I I felt high and in a different world and the story okay then my boys come in and and my two boys come in and they're like we couldn't find the glasses now everything in this world is built in a way as Melech says in the book of right everything is created with a polarity okay is going to be the exact same level but the polarity good and bad and so forth one example are many that bilam the wicked bilamu wanted to destroy the Jewish Nation he was the polarity of Moshe rabeno so he was in the level of Moshe rabeno that the scripts actually saying that if we would go in the path of God he would be a greater prophet in motion so that's the polarity good evil so I'm telling you I don't have words to express it I don't have faces to express it you have to take my word I was in such a high not a normal high after all this trip after Rosh Hashanah after everything and I'm telling you it's five days I barely slept barely ate everything is is Extreme and I am flying in some I don't know where the the intensity of the kuducha that polarity will be just the same on the other side so I'm praying I'm like beside myself I'm I I don't even know what's going on I'm like taking pictures of the ceiling I'm like completely spiritually out of it and this guy there's a guy like I didn't even notice him a guy sleeping on the floor at the end of the room and another guy walks in and starts talking to him okay so the first minute fine second minutes and they start talking and they're talking to each other very loud and the volume goes higher and higher Israelis and and they're talking but real uh uh like not only discussing what they were saying like uh it doesn't I actually don't want to say what they were saying because of the the the kavod of these individuals doesn't matter they weren't talking nice and these are Jews the whole thing so for like 2-3 minutes it's talking very loud so I turn around to him I'm with trillion on me and in the nicest way possible I tell him I just go like this a little bit lower he didn't like that so he answered it back in a very not nice way I said that you know listen you were in a holy place and said am I getting upset I asked you to just say a little bit quite more quiet so he tells he starts telling me everything is in a not nice Stone everything is it's a public place I'll talk wherever I want you have a problem you go out so he starts attacking me and first few seconds I'm like what's going on I mean the camera of the bounce I'm with fill in on me I'm about to cry from the excitement I'm about to faint from the excitement what does this guy that want where does this guy come from and he's starting to really like answer back like really not nice he said a few things that were like real bad and as Extreme as the excitement of the kudushawas that's how extreme the anger was in a second the we'll call it now all these demons that were in me that had to be pushed down for 22 years and I thought were taken care of woke up as Extreme as the dusha and I'm telling you I'm telling you to share means the sensitivity of Holiness I'm telling you I was sh I have videos you see me shake my hands are Shake I was in a completely different place I felt at any second my system is going to collapse from I don't know what Hashem is going to do like a prophet about to get a glory I'm telling you it was insane but with that magnitude suddenly the oven was turned on I thought I was able to get rid of these demons kill them annihilate them everything woke up in one second Suddenly It's like as if I feel my eyes closed but they don't and the old alone is back and this guy is like really throwing some junk towards my direction and my kids imitate my faces my face started to Twitch started to now why oh and in my mind I'm like I just bought a lot of weapons from this Ukrainian woman I'm gonna kill this person you can't even imagine the rage is crawling up on my back and I'm like I didn't feel this for 22 years I I I don't know what I was going through in one way this side is looking at the guy and I'm like I'm just gonna rip his head off I'm just gonna take any of the first thing that my hand grabs from the bag and I'm gonna plaster his face on the scene of the balchem and then right away the good alone is like why is this happening I mean the battleship what's going on here and I'm starting to now my son sees my face and he starts getting worried and he's looking at me and I see him getting worried and he has the face of Telling Me Abba please let me beat him up because you're gonna kill him and I'm like and I'm I'm wearing fill in and I'm gonna grabbing that feeling okay I'm gonna take this feeling off because I'm not gonna kill him with fill in on me now and he like is really going at me and now at this point we started already a more a hyped a verbal confrontation and my kids are already telling him like dude you you you you you better relax and and he's like and so then he started insulting my kids so I'm like and I'm like I'm I don't know what to do I'm I'm going through some type of of uh uh uh a nuclear reaction something's going on and I'm not exaggerating I I literally I felt like the old alone there I'm telling you I was in my mind I'm gonna kill him I had a plan in my mind I said I'm gonna kill him and then I'm gonna run to my van we're two hours away from the border I'm just gonna flee Ukraine but I'm gonna bury him here in the mountain of you can't even imagine what was going on in my mind and my kids listen my kids uh first of all physically they're big my 15 year old my 17 year old second of all I'm very proud of my kids because they chose to go in their father's path they just didn't understand that the years 15 to 27 they have to skip they have to go just in my path in Torah so my kids think that the path to get to where I am they have to go through the routes that I went through so my kids have been around so I see my kids already like both of my sons and and since we had another friend were there now you have to understand that a second ago I mean the peak of my spiritual level that I ever ever felt not in jail not anywhere that I felt what I felt in the battleshipton not after when I listen I had periods way before you know me that I would fast for months I wouldn't talk for months I mean I went through things because I had a lot of chuva to do a lot of chuva I never ever ever felt such a high liking about and I don't even know how to describe it to you and in one shot that level was transferred into the negativity so it was like as if the old alone showed up I felt schizophrenia a totally different person and in my mind I I don't even know how to picture it in my mind I'm like I'm just gonna take my filling off and I'm gonna grab this idiot out I'm not gonna do it in the tune and the anger of 22 years is going to go on his face and this poor guy is going to meet his creator today I was so angry and it's becoming worse and worse and then he became even more worse than he started threatening and then at some point I was like and I don't know I actually don't know how I control myself some of it is on video you see me my whole body is like and I'm planning in my mind what I'm going to do to him that's how bad it is and he already went and got more friends and I was like okay this is going to be like a a whole fight here there was ah now the whole time I'm going through I'm going crazy I'm like Hashem why are you doing this why why you brought me all the way to the valentov to murder somebody I don't understand I mean I'm gonna now sit in jail for the rest of my life because I I didn't understand what's going on I was like there's no chance that I'm I'm going to leave this place without strangling this guy this guy is gonna die and and in my mind I'm like but Hashem what are you doing I'm not turning to the balcony why you brought me here for this you can't even imagine the the what was going on inside it was literally a miracle that I did not jump on him and literally kill him the fight inside was not normal but and I felt like I have no control but as all this is happening one of my other Sons is like mumbling out loud guys were in the we're in the presence of the balcanto he couldn't understand it he's standing there with my son with feeling he's like I don't understand why is this happening and he's turning to this guy he's like why are you doing that why are you why are you why are you doing this to us we came to printable shut your trap already why are you starting with us anyways it it was about to explode and I I think that I don't think but he saw already my facial reactions and he and he went out now he didn't go out Stam he went out to get all of his friends so sadly coming down there I don't know like 10 15 guys and they're all standing outside of the tune but luckily for us I'm assuming he understood that it's it wasn't a good decision to start and I started doing something outside which I'm going to tell you in a second I'm standing inside and I'm like I don't know what to do myself I'm literally going crazy because you know me is like why this whole trip I didn't sleep for six days I didn't eat for six days I I'm upset I'm tired I didn't shower for six days I want to jump out of my body I mean I I said that's how it was because there wasn't really showers I I I I just did my Korean the migration with 5 000 people so you know what it is to sweat for six days and you I wasn't comfortable I slept on the floor I mean I went through five days of Hashem was like pushing all the buttons that I will come to the bar shemtov and explode and and then the glasses has already got me hyped up and then this guy came to me so I don't know I I'm trying to calm myself down and I'm like asking Hashem why would you bring me to the battleship though and bring me to such a high and I know it's something minor I know I just need to let go okay so he said this is just anyways I do my my my meditations my breathing my everything I calm myself down slowly slowly slowly that I'm not gonna violently kill him I'm gonna quickly kill him that it's not gonna be with too much blood and you know blimps hanging it's gonna be quick I'm just gonna slit his throat or something you can't even imagine the the the the rage and and my sons are trying to calm me down and they're smart because if they would say the wrong word they would get me hyped up they're calming me down and then and then and then another people I started calming down and then I was like okay okay I don't know what's going on here now you have to understand it's after five days in uman that everything that can go wrong in woman went wrong and what is the beauty about it is that I right away saw why it ran wrong what's the true other needs to be done it's like was like an ATM of of a kilohim there powerful so I was like okay it worked for the last five days that I'm asking Hashem okay so why why this thing okay didn't kill him but why I don't understand what's going on all I understood I was like listen it's two days after Rosh Hashanah I'm in the universe I cannot let this go out of control as I'm like working on myself for about 15 minutes and you have to understand that it's working on myself that I firstly didn't take the feeling on because I was like I have respect for the train I will not do anything with my philino you have to understand that when I was about to really lose it my flame was on me and I was like I I I can't believe that I'm going to lose it with filling on me now at this point I'm I'm really I don't know what's going on I feel something intense is happening these guys were standing outside holding hands singing singing it in a gorgeous amazing tune which in the beginning annoyed me because it was like like a catchy donut so in the beginning it annoyed me I was like what now he brought his friends to annoy me I'm not going to have to kill kill them too anyways they were uh singing the tikonakili which was beautiful little did I know that they were really uh shaking the heavens with their tikunaklali to the opportunity to come in that I was like okay uh I'm gonna have to do the biggest the biggest action I ever did in the last 22 years of me being observant and I have to go out to him and apologize and to fix the whole thing so you have to understand you know when somebody steps on you hurts you does something bad to you you don't really have the desire to be the bigger person and you cannot bring yourself to a point that I have to calm myself down because if not it's going to go out of control and we're all going to lose and you know if you have that system you know I I when I when I'm with people I'll give you an example my wife every husband and wife doesn't matter how great the relationship and how much they love each other they argue they disagree there's arguments bad day a word flies out it's natural I know for example and I played with every person but I applied especially with my wife three seconds ago into the disagreement I reverse and I leave because I know it's it's Head to Head it will not work or right away I I volunteered to be the bigger person you're right honey Accord you know just not to get into the fight because once you go into the fight that's it you start saying words that are are out of place your actions are wrong your behavior is inappropriate so I don't even know from where that inspiration came but I was like alone you probably were brought here to apologize to really humble yourself to really bite your tongue and and you you cannot destroy what you did in the last 22 years over this guy so I go out to him and he sees me approaching him and he's like he started getting really scared then I put my hand around him and he thought I'm coming to maybe attack him or something but I whisper in his ear I told him in my words listen I I'm I apologize I'm really sorry this whole thing shouldn't happen I don't know what got up got uh get into me I don't know why this at the end I gave him a nice uh real apology he started crying and he hugs me and after like uh I don't know 30 seconds I'm like okay listen I'm still gonna kill you if you're not gonna let it go right now hands off so in any way so he stopped sagging me but he starts crying and then of course everybody comes it was like a big how do you say in Hebrew like a piece everybody everybody was shaking hands so sorry sorry you know everybody's like ma'am everybody I mean my me my boys and their friend and their guys and everybody's like uh you know forgive forgiving and loving and and suddenly I'm I'm just looking at what's going on okay it's like about 20 guys she said everybody's hugging and this and that and and in my it's like everything slowed down like a complete like uh slow motion no some sounds from the surrounding and suddenly I get such a Deja Vu it wasn't even a deja vu suddenly okay I see the whole scene the Kevin of the belchemto of my kids everything the guy everything and I get such a deja vu and I I don't know how I don't know how to explain how I felt I felt like something is like washing my soul my nishama I felt such chills it was insane what I felt and why because in the deja vu this is the scene that I see I realize what happened there and I start like I'm mumbling I'm tearing I'm like I can't stop the tears tearing and I'm looking at the guy and I'm like I can't I can't talk and to save you the drama I realized clearly what was going on there and I tell it to the guy and what was going on there this guy and me had a disagreement in a previous life but a very bad disagreement that when we met in the Val shemtov we were like two dogs on leashes biting it like going at each other and it was so it was so insane because I it's like I saw him and I hated him you know sometimes I mean my dogs this is where you can see that they say that the the dogs are like the owner so my dogs are like me then not now they were exactly how I was then so so why am I saying that sometimes that I will and and there are dogs in the street they annoy them there's one dog that comes there and he like like behind the fence and he bothers them and they like of course they bargain they go crazy but they look at him like one of them one of my dogs always looks at him like wait one day I'll find you outside Embark now and sure enough one day it happened you know dogs are smart but they're stupid they when they see something they want to attack they go forward they don't understand the leash chokes them so that's what happens to most dogs when my dogs saw that dog in the streets so my dog was smart and he didn't go forward to attack him he went backwards and he took the the leash off his head because I was holding the leash so he went backwards real strong and he got out of the leash and he was like he was looking at the dog and he was like remember me right and he ran to him and if I wouldn't be there that dog would be lunch but why am I saying that because sometimes you know you see that you have two raging dogs and they're going at each other like going crazy and they're trying to like do what I call them you know what I mean that's how it was in the Bible shemtov I saw him I'm telling you it's like as if something switched I just wanted to kill him for nothing and the same for him so bottom line I don't know how to express it I'm going to save the drama of the tearing and the shaking and all this I understood it clearly that me and him had a very big fight in a previous life and about shemtov brought us to his court to fix it and it all happened in the Mao shamtov's seal and when I was like flying somewhere we were invited to the balship court to settle it and the anger towards each other for no reason I just told him to I just went like this that's it in a nice way and how we were going at each other that was not normal and when I told him that he told me at some point I knew you're gonna kill me I knew I saw in your eyes I knew I'm gonna die today I knew you came to kill me and and as we said as as I'm sharing this I have pictures of it I'll show you if you want oh crying and we can't believe this guy's like hugging me and I'm hugging him and I are looking into his eyes and I'm like my God it's like as I don't know who he is I don't know what's the scenario but it was the feeling was not normal the feeling was it was like somebody that I want to kill for the last thousand years like as if all the anger All the Rage all the violence all the hate came in a gilgun just because it wasn't lashed out of that that guy God only knows what this guy did to me that now I had to come to such an event now I understand why 20 years I can't come to the belchem or anywhere in Ukraine I wasn't ready maybe he wasn't ready it probably required 20 years of chuba to get to a point and I'm not joking with you I was about to stab him to death and it wasn't that it's something not familiar when I was in my crazy time I don't want and I can't say many things the violence was not normal he was about to die I was about in my mind I was like I'll sit in jail on this I'll kill him now really when you're thinking about it for what because he told me to shut up because he told me it's a public place because he told me to get my ugly face I don't know he talks not nice and I'm I'm I don't want to repeat what he said so because I might put pictures of him I don't know yet he didn't talk nice he was extremely out of line needless to say we all apologize for all the bad words and but I'm looking at the whole scene and I'm like I cannot believe prepared me for 20 years then prepared me for the last hurray five intense day in Uma that nothing worked out there nothing I mean at the end when I'm putting all the dots together was unbelievable experience but everything that can go wrong went wrong and the worst conditions worse I mean I mean it was torture there amazing torture because that's how you do chuva you don't do chuva when you're comfortable by the way if you're planning on going for a PESA Retreat or Retreat that's that's not where you do chuva you get good steaks and that's it you do when you are in the worst situation was done in jail was not done in an air conditioning Yeshiva that's when you do chuva under intense stress when all your senses are weak when all your your emotions are are are not aligned with each other chuva can only be done the real juva is when your life is chaos you cannot do chuva when life is okay so if life is okay right now be thankful but I'm sure each and every one of you had your fair share when life becomes extremely chaotic that you don't even know what God wants from you because you cannot function on a spiritual level in that type of chaotic world and you know you do not understand what God wants from you but that's when you do the Chua that's when the cleansing will be done that's when the atonement the capara all the dirt will be washed off now when you're sitting in a hotel or driving a beautiful car and you're living in a nice house you can also do chuva in a nice house and a nice car and everything as well but the real Chua when you really need to get the dirt cleaned the regular chuva doesn't work when you want to clean something real good if you go on the surface okay so it cleans it but when you want to get like real dirt you either need to use boiling or water chemicals whatever it is you cannot do deep cleaning without putting a lot of effort doesn't matter right now it can be an oven a dirty oven a dirty pot it doesn't matter anything that you want to clean that the dirt is there for years then it's not going to come off with a wipe so dirt that you did and accumulated for years from your sins and you do a little too but a lot of the dirt can just little chuva young people and you wipe it off but you know the severe sins it's not going to remove and of course every person has their their level of intensity I mean I know people that their true eyes what did they do in their life you know they they talked back to the teacher I mean you know what I had to do you know the level of chuva that I had to deal with was not the same level of a person didn't do anything in his I mean I heard people physically how do you do chuma for that not talking about embezzling and stealing millions of dollars how do you do too bad for that I mean my chuva was insane when I came out of jail I don't remember the exact amount 363 and 70 lawsuits against me because I had moving companies that that was the the how we hid the entire trans transportation of the drugs and the arms and again and guns but the company was also very profitable who was involved also in a lot of illegal activities I mean the the when I was arrested the whole I mean all the warehouses were full people didn't get their stuff that's why we had I had so much lawsuits but my Chua was not to deal with the some angry neighbor I mean and I saw people what they're dealing with and I felt bad for them and I was like yeah yeah let me tell you what I have to deal with so I went through an extreme three four years of extreme Hashem me to do chuva but at that moment I understood that it took 20 years of extremely hard work of refining myself working on myself to get to a point that I'm even worthy to even get that chuva because some sins that you do in this world and this is where it might not apply to many of you or the viewers but it might apply to many some of the sins that we do in our past are severe beyond what you can imagine and now I'm not going to put anybody on the spot I'm just going to throw a few ideas that you understand that evil a simple person can be liable to sins that you might not be able to do chuva for them in this world now don't don't be offended by me I'm the one who's coming to tell you what needs to be fixed but how many women do abortions you know what a sin that is you know how hard it is to do chuva for an abortion and again not trying to insult any money I'm not trying to put anybody on the spot I'm not there I did worse things I'm just coming to tell you when I approach the world of Judah and I went to some serious rabbis how to do chuva how do you do chuva for being a a a responsible for death of thousands of people how did YouTuber for that now if I supplied tons tons not kilograms tons of drugs to tens of thousands of people and as a result probably half of them died or have a a screwed up life I'm responsible I'm talking about in The Heavenly Court not talking about now now the laws my trooper had to be in a completely different level so but many people they have sins they don't see them as severe I just threw now an abortion but a woman who did an abortion doesn't matter we're not blaming her okay we'll all do bad things we all did bad things but uh chuva needs to be done here something has to be done can't you say okay it was in the past it doesn't work like that now this is for a woman how about men you know what it is what a sin it is for a man to have marital relations with a married woman ish now let me just explain to you magnitude of some people in their Chua if a man is with a woman sexually that is not his wife not Jewish has a period and married to another man you know all these four abroads are now a man and an average man this is times 10 or 50. for that and this is an average I can't say normal but a normal thing most of the people in the world fall there you know most people in the world are not married to their spouse what's going on just in that department so each and every one of us has sins that you might not understand how severe they are and even if you do understand how do you do chuva for that now I came to a very deep realization the grave of the Baal shemtov that for some sins that you did you need to have the marriage to even do chuva they might not even let you do juva for that so you go through your entire life here to become a good Jew and that might not be sufficient because they might tell you you did 99 tuva and for that sin you didn't but that sin is a big one you have a problem I understood that you have to have a married that Hashem will allow you to do chuva for certain actions so we just finished now Yom Kippur and this at the end of every prayer before tit Kabal we add a certain prayer and I apologize if other communities do it and I'm just saying this parties I don't think I didn't find it in ashkenaz I didn't find it in Chabad in finding in other places that we add a certain prayer asking Hashem to open for us 50 Gates and we mention the gates right excuse me one of the gates that we're asking to be open is who says Hashem is going to accept your tour why are you so confident that your your Chua is going to be accepted or was accepted excuse me I realized after 22 years in such a holy place that I just started my chuva and not only that some actions that you did in their past the children might not fall on that you know when I did Shiva and then it's not showing up sometimes people tell me hey you sure it's not showing off Hashem put me through hell so I can come and tell you and inspire you and many others my sugar process was a completely different chuba process than any individuals and I know a few that their tuba is similar and why am I saying and it's not because I'm special different or unique that's what Hashem decided I don't think many people can handle the level of chuva what I had to do in jail but even after that when I go to out of jail and all my money was taken I'm not talking about lawsuits ex Mafia after me I can't hide anywhere I mean craziness then I have a 40-year in 40 years in jail indictment hovering over my head and it gets it got worse then they tap they tagged tied me to other indictments I mean it was real real bad they try to really they knew what the thing is that they knew what I was doing they couldn't prove it so they tried to nail me down anything that they could but what I actually did so two weeks after I get out of jail that's when I meet my Rabbi and my wife at the same night if you watched or heard my near-death experience lecture it's when I say that I went to some party in ashatova and I uh met my Rabbi that's the night that's the night that I I was taken by a friend to Asha Torah in the Upper West Side I met my wife for the first time we didn't talk we just saw each other across the room I recognized her that she's my wife she thought I'm an angry Russian and that's that's what was going on in her head I mean I didn't have a beard I mean I looked a little bit different and I was just got out of jail and I had a little bit of trouble on my mind so I might have looked like an angry Russian even though I have nothing rushing in my blood but nevertheless that's the night that I met my Rabbi my first rabbi who very quickly I got friendly with him and I told him what's going on the only person in the world didn't know what was going on I mean my parents do sisters friends I mean nobody know what's going on and I told him everything and he was firm by telling me this is all tests I ask for your forgiveness from our was what I'm about to say he hit me in my private part real strong and told me you have to guard your breeds guarding the breed for a man is only having marital relations with his life and nothing else he told me you have to guard your breeds you have to put fill in keep Shabbat and learn Torah and everything will be okay so after an hour of recuperating from the pain and told him what do you mean I have to guard the breed with me I did 29 years ago when I was eight years old he's like no that's the Mitzvah of your father limolotra to cut the foreskin your mates wise to guard it so so for half a year from that moment till life started becoming better when I actually met my wife I I went through hell for half a year intense interrogations by the FBI and and that's what I was doing chuva I lived in New York at the time it was excruciating cold winter every night I would go to the Lubavitch oil the the the gravesite in Queens and read a whole book of tilim in the snow my eyebrows were eyes already every night that's how scared I was that's how much that I was like I had a sword here so my chuva had to be so precise that I would calculate everything that I did these are things that I shared with you not once or not twice I calculated how many times I didn't put filling on how many times they didn't put delete on how many times is this a great job but I in order to know how much sugar I need to do but there are certain things that how do you do chuva for that doesn't matter which Rabbi I went to I told him this is a certain action I did how do I do Shiva most of the rabbits didn't have answers for me because it has to do with murder with with bad things how do you do truma for things like this now almost every one of us can be a murderer a woman does a an abortion that's murder you have to do don't get upset at me if you did an abortion and I'm not judging you and I I I I I I don't come to you in any bad way I'm going to help you because I made 5 000 abortions and I needed to know how to fix it and by the way the abortion is also on demand I'm only on the woman same way with the other way around with constitutional a man desecrates the breed it is also on the woman the point that I'm trying to say is that most of us do chuva 20 you don't do full sugar you're wasting your time you're going to come up to shamime and they're going to tell you you did 20 you while you did great but you're missing you'll go back to another Google another Incarnation the reality is most people don't do Chivas they don't want to deal with all the bad things they don't want to deal with it or they don't even know how or some people are somewhat normal and their Chua is not that bad I mean when I had to go through my chuva list hit it in it didn't end there was one Rabbi that I sat with him and I told him I did this I did that I did this only stop doing it and that you regret doing it you have to fix it so to conclude this intense story that I can't even I can't even express to you the intensity of it I'm hoping you're getting something from it a clear message that I got for myself personally for myself that I had to go through 20 years of chuva 20 years of repeating every action every day every Rosh Hashanah every year every pesach monotonic every it took 20 years for me to be ready to be invited to the battleship of to be judged in front of the valentov I don't know if it was in the presence if how much Hashem was involved could be that Hashem says you deal with it I don't know maybe Hashem was completely involved here I don't know but it was clear as daylight that it took 20 years to get the invitation and to be able to go through such an encounter and to survive it to understand that a half the people that you bark at or they bark at you must be something to do at tikkun here how many times in the street somebody takes your parking or whatever somebody yells at you and you get offended and you will yell back oh how many times does a certain Encounter of it can be a horrible divorce it's really you know the they want to kill each other or sometimes things I mean I hear stories I hear stories you should spend one day with me and you'll be convinced that you don't have problems if you hear the problems of people that tell me somehow I look like a wall I my face looks like a bunch of bricks people come to talk to me like as if I'm the coating like as if I have answers for everything everybody you are ready to talk to you you don't need to you want to and I don't want to talk to you but if I will tell you the the horrors of what people tell me that they're going through you'll be like my life is great but now I understand that half of these encounters you might not be experiencing a bathing on the spot but it is a very good chance that that individual is a tikkun from a previous life that out of nowhere that's the person you run into the friction that's the person you lose your anger let's take now an A volunteer from the audience don't worry I'm not taking a real volunteer I know everybody's like MiMi I want to be famous no it's not today's not today I'm saying hypothetically we take a volunteer from the audience and we'll take a volunteer that is a real calm person okay I'm volunteering my my wife you ever saw her get angry no calm person my polarity she's calm I'm not but as calm as she is and as you know not angry and many other good qualities in that department I do see her sometimes get up you know the engine's starting everybody has it some is Extreme some it's less but there were times that and again I'm volunteering my wife for the example that she got into some type of an argument friction disagreement or whatever and it was also out of control so it doesn't matter who I'm pulling from the crowd now no matter how calm you are if the right button is pushed you get upset and the story now take what I'm telling you and take it one step forward and saying you know what maybe these times that I get upset it's a person that has to be a tycoon here you I can't even explain to you the feeling how it felt after we we patched everything up with me and this guy I'm telling you I can't even express what was going on inside the anger the frustration the the the the the the craziness and then the excitement and the pieces of calm you know the the the feeling of peace and quietness you know what happened right after that you'll crack up you know what was found right after that the glasses you didn't ask about the glasses out of nowhere my son tells another one Marshall glasses glasses oh we found glass in the balcando at the end we got the glasses here it was so clear and so precise and the reason I'm telling you that is because you have the exact same things but you might not open your eyes to see that what Hashem is catering for you every encounter is I'm telling you I I I I passed the last test with flying colors I was this close I'm telling you this close that you would see my face on the newspaper uh crazy Rabbi slaughtered an innocent man for coughing loud so first of all we have to understand how kind Hashem is and that he gives you food according to how many teeth you have in your mouth so if you're going through a challenge right now that's the the the small version of what was supposed to happen and but just be thankful that you're getting the the minimum version more than that the real message that I got from that I mean I got for myself all the messages that I needed to get and I can't relay or tell you anything of what I felt inside the relief the tension the crate I'm telling you I I can't even start expressing to you from the Bible we drove to a to a republic we drove to antipoli which was uh I don't know it was a few hour drive the whole few hours in the car like this guy I'm like I I was just reviewing what was going on and I'm I'm I'm getting such spiritual pleasure from seeing how Hashem put everything in such great precision and how a I was blinded for seconds but how when you know when Hashem once he has so much when he wants to even punish you and it's that it's done with such class I feel extremely extremely honored and privileged that I saw what I was mainly to do this because I could have done it without seeing what's going on I could have apologized and go home and not see and up until today don't understand why it happened because things happen all my life but just in the five days the woman things happened that I didn't understand why and minutes later for Hashem it happened because of this and I'm like wow never have I seen such a Clarity in the actions in front of you you you have a heaven because what are glasses they help you every that's why I said listen to every detail it's a seven hour class I'm gonna try to do it in an hour and a half every detail makes it it's important here the glasses the weapons you want to show you the weapons I'll show you the weapons why would I buy weapons in Ukraine in the tune of the balcanto I mean it's like is it everything it's oh that's not a problem the weapons we put in the suitcases and then then we could travel the the point here it's not only the it's it's everything the the I feel the biggest present I got from this entire thing is to see in a clear way and when you see in a clear way the Divine works of Hashem you're blessed you're done that's it because you see everything and then you accept everything with great joy great happiness great love I don't know if I can really give over what I went through it was for me what is for you is a few things a is that every potential person in front of you could be a tikkun something that you need to fix from a previous life and could very much be that in a certain encounter that you are experiencing if you do the transaction the right way not only did the tikkun will be done that issue will be solved in this world forever I'm telling you I'm listening I've been teaching it for 20 years we have to do a rectification everything is I mean this is it's not new lingo now I start with my own eyes how the kadoshburgo I'm telling you I felt that this story you know the how many times I told you the story that happened here in svad with arizal and the rich person and the hasid who married the the girl you're looking at me like you never heard that story I think I told that story 500 times you're all nodding no no no no no I wasn't in that class you were okay I'll tell you the quickly the story there's a story I'm sure you know it there's a story here it happened here in spots 400 plus years ago there was a very rich man he had a daughter who couldn't get married didn't get married doesn't matter what he did couldn't marry the daughter finally after years she brings the guy home and she says I found the man I want to marry him not the type that the father was looking for the father was looking for a businessman somebody sharp tough she brings in my Yeshiva about her skinny pale you know learns to her all day long so he says no whatever I'll take it the day of the wedding comes the father who was extremely rich comes to the khatan to the groom and gives him half of his fortune and tells him take half of my money that's for you to take care of my daughter because I know you're going to learn and you're not going to make money take care of my daughter very nice father-in-law a month into the wedding the daughter dies the father comes to the groom and he tells him okay my daughter died give me the money the group says no you gave it to me it's my wedding present the money stays with me the father says I gave you the money to take care of my daughter she died give me the money they go to the bathing the author of The shook they go to his Badin the Diane the judge says the father gets the money and the story the groom says I don't accept the plaque I want to talk to the Rizal okay they go to the Rizal the result of course was in a very high level song The Rizal had What's called the Magi the Magid is an angel that stands next to the Sadiq and Whispers in his ear all the time whatever he needs to know so he knew exactly what's going on and as the person walked into the room the result says you keep the money he didn't even listen he just told the groom you keep the money the father of course got very upset what are you talking about I have Absa the big deal I told me I get the money the result says listen if you want to go by the take the money he goes to the father but if you want to do a tikku now the situation is as follow he tells to the father you your dead daughter and this guy the khatan in a previous life were Partners you and your dead daughter screwed him for money you stole all his money all three of you came back and you gave him the bunny back now if you want to take the money back according to Allah fine you won't have a caparineticon he won't have to you're all gonna have to come back here another life means to rectify Square it out and finish with it why do you need this headache I felt in this entire encounter that it's a story like that that this story will be told in 200 years there was once a guy in fat and that's that was the level of this of this encounter that I'm standing and I'm looking at a person I recognize the face but I don't recognize him I look at him and I'm like I know this person that's after when I looked in the beginning I was like why do I have such a desire to kill this person now listen certain things cannot be said publicly I uh I have to or can or I am responsible in an indirect and indirect ways for the death of many people okay I have to say clearly and loud in front of Hashem and a series chuva was required to be done and will still required and by the way again don't think that I'm now Mussolini but there are many people that they have a lot of blood on their hands a doctor that does abortions also has a lot of blood on his hands a doctor that does things that we know that are against normal protocol they also have a lot of blood on their hands I'm not going to start now putting people in the corner you know you go and gave a 2000 injections to somebody because you work in kupat you also have a problem if you're involved in somehow in somebody's life situation you have that on your on your on your slate on your record or however you want so I could not understand why I want to kill him so much why what's the big deal what did he say so points that you want to take from that is the most important thing is the chuva can be done on anything at any time and even if it's a moment before you die and even if you are observing for 50 years and maybe the highlight of your chuva of your entire life will be done a minute before you die you need to be prepared for that now I feel that 20 years I had to prepare for this encounter one day prior it won't work if I would go to majibush on the way to Oman it won't work it had to be exact moment we were also delayed till we got to the belshanto it's like as if on the on the subpoena it had a date and a time and the belshanto says I'm gonna subpoena these two guys to the same place same time he has some Merit I had some Merit that we squared it away in this world in a spiritual bathing can you imagine the magnitude of what was going on there and everybody there was there my sons my their friend everybody was in some type of high not knowing what's going on there my kids up until now they're like in a in some Haze so true can be done for anything and that's bemidt one of the most important things because some people I saw that now on Yom Kippur young people the minion that we had you weren't here was here it was mainly focused on the fact because I didn't want to do the minion it was all my boys friends all the teenagers from 15 to 19 all the boys that will not even forget about coming to show they wouldn't even fast on Yom Kippur unless they would they came here we had an amazing amazing million all the the boys were teenagers and they were on fire they were on fire half of them was with me Newman they wanted the minion they were like in in the belchem though like what's going on here so first of all start writing your comments what you need to do first of all chuba can be done for anything and I looked at the boys and I saw in their eyes and young people that they feel that some things you cannot do chew up for and when I was doing chuva I was afraid that Hashem won't accept my Chua for certain things I didn't know where to shoot when I was doing Cuba I shot to all directions and I didn't I didn't know what will be the breaking point so the thing is that there are things that are extremely difficult to do Chua Hashem will squeeze the juice out of you but the good news is that you can do chuva for every thing the most horrible things that you did in this world the the I don't have to say good news but the addition number two on the list is that for the big things that you need to do chuva has to be a preparation I have on my list the big things I mean I'm hoping that a lot of the big things I knocked out but my attitude is that chuva never ends chuva you can now sit and relax now you're going to have to do till the last day you live but I realized that now in a very clear way that even to come to the place to be forgiven has to come with a lot of preparation I had to go through 20 yomki pools I had to go through 20 rosh hashanas I had to go through 20 pesos 20 everything to be able to reach to have this Hood to start doing juvent for what was going on with this guy made me realize that I now the 20 years passed this is just the beginning I don't know what Hashem is going to prepare for me now maybe now Jim is going to say now you can handle the heavyweight now let me start giving you to duchova for what you did 30 years ago if this is the case I thought I'm like uh that's it I'm done but one very powerful thing that you need to take that every person that you have a facial encounter facial facial fatty facial face to face encounter take a moment and remember the story that I just told you whether you fall in love in that with that person like that or the complete opposite is irrelevant it doesn't matter the encounter till Israel my mind was like if my mind was like in summer completely else and just to give you an example when I was in the airport there's encounters with the lady that does the check-in and then the security and they weren't nice there they're very anti-semites uh uh everywhere disgusting how they treat the the Jews there uh but what I was saying is I was like wow I have a tikuna with every person that there's a certain encounter now there's some type of articun and there's a certain there was a certain a security person there and there was a little bit of arguments going on backwards and forth and I was like interesting I will never see this person ever in my life and I have a 30 seconds encounter with that individual there's a tikkun here there's a certainty how do I talk how do I react what do I say do I get angry do I get upset the point you want to take from that is that let's say there's eight billion people in the world how many of them do you you will actually see in your life ten thousand how many people will you see from the people in this world in your life how many of them you're going to talk to how many of them you're gonna actually have a relationship with so you're gonna see maybe a hundred thousand because you travel you see people maybe a million whatever talking how many people do you talk with 500 people thousand people that's a thousand people that you have some type of a tikkon with even by saying good morning and you smile that's it I I owed you that's it I'm squared every encounter that you have something's going on there there's a very famous teaching approach of one of the greatest that I wanted to go to the grave but it was a way too far drive and bezel if I do something organized in May we're going to go there and that's the balatanya I always wanted to go there I've never been there I learned all his I feel a strong connection to him but I like the teachings of the balotanya and and he excuse me we didn't get to his grave but why am I mentioning that because he has a a quote that it says a person can live 80 years to meet a person one time and to do for him some a favor that's it of course in his words and don't don't take the exact quote along along the way that you can live 80 years for one time to meet one person and to help them and that's it now wouldn't you wanna take that to the next level and say every person that I meet why am I meeting them now I can take you to the next level I don't go out of my house a lot and not because the house is that beautiful that it's hard for me to leave is because when I leave the house to go from my house to the microwave I bump into seven people Rabbi I only have a small question I don't know I don't want to imagine how the big question would look small question 20 minutes and don't always have time for that not always I have the energy to talk to every person that I bump into and sometimes you'll bump into me and you might be number 47 that day and I don't have the time or the desire or the energy or that's how it is so I don't go alone out of the house because everywhere that I go I will be stopped you think I did something in Oman you think I prayed in Oman I went with big plans I'm gonna read five books of daily I read 27 chapters of the Lim the whole time in Oman well I read maybe 50 times that's uh that's like 500 dealing talk about reading a book of dealing and why because every second give attention to people so why am I saying that I was I I there's certain people I told you in the beginning there are the ones who they they saw me they didn't want to approach me they're just from far away like so there was one guy that I kept bumping into he nodded I nodded and at some point I told him listen I keep bumping uh we keep bumping into each other I think maybe we should sit and learn about five minutes maybe you have a question or concern or maybe you have something you want to tell me and maybe I need to hear it but the statistics say say I don't know 50 60 70 000 people were now in Oman how many deals did I mean how many people you know I have a neighbor that was in human I didn't meet him so Hashem choose who you meet I the first night prayed in one of the biggest shows there it's called Chloe's that was an experience that I have to tell you a whole class just about that night okay but I end up this is like uh it's like a warehouse I don't know 10 000 people in there fifteen thousand people I don't know people squeezing there and I end up sitting second row in front of that Now isn't that a private invitation I'm telling you there's like 15 000 people there like this it was like I was convinced that we're gonna have another mirror on there that's how bad it was not talking about no air no ventilation I'm wet I don't have to go to the microwave I'm the make way of sweat and out of nowhere somebody pulled me from my shirt like this how many seats you need I'm like seats I need air not seats so why am I saying that because even in such a crowded place friends were like oh I prayed there I was in 16th row how can I how come I didn't see you you know how many times I go out of my house and there's going to be somebody out and my in my mind or the Mayes like ah him now okay give him some excuse you're busy you know wave him out I don't have time for this but my always my attitude is if I don't go out of my house and finally I went out and that person ran into me that person needs to see me right now either I need to help them or they need to help me and if you're humble then that person helps you most of the times you're not humble and the person that was sent to help you could not deliver the assistance and that's our ego I don't have time I can't talk to you right now I'm busy stop bothering me we don't understand that the person who I don't have time to who came to bother me has the answer for me has my answer then I've been wandering around all day long and Hashem is sending the annoying person to take my time he don't I don't understand it's all for me so I take this very literal whoever I bump into something has to happen here now so much more so that how every encounter that you have something has to happen between you and that person it's exactly how uh we're talking about I don't know how old he was when he was doing it late 80s must have been he used to stand all day long on a Sunday and give out dollars for every person who came to see him now I understand that he wanted people to have encounters with him so that's a perfect situation you go you have your 20 seconds you get your blessing very nice but when he was asked why you do that it can be done in a day in a different manner the answer was uh see I had it in my mind now it kind of went out of my mind another but it was along the line of every person that you meet has to be some type of exchange spiritually because he was asked why he's giving the dollar he could have gave a sidhu give a prayer book something with the dedication why a dollar so not a contract rather he said in any encounter that two people have a Mitzvah should be involved and this is sadaka you'll give so now we have to understand this whole story that I'm telling you is to understand that every person you bump into today tomorrow the next day has to be some type of a spiritual exchange between both of you if you remember I said that numerous times quoting the form it's about that we have on Purim remember I told you that they all start with the letter M don't tell me you don't know every time everything I tell you you say I don't remember it's things that I repeat a thousand times like the story with the the the in with the result I told you the form it's about the probably maybe 1500 dimes they all start with the letter mem right the form is what start with the name I gave this drash 500 times and explaining it all why they start with the letter m but if you remember I explained to you what means because mikramikila we're reading the megillah I understand the feast I understand a charity for poor people I understand but I'm giving you food you're giving me food I'll just stay with my food what do I need your food for besides that when I was a kid I had the worst Mishra Karma I would come with the Rolls-Royce of and the way it worked that you everybody puts the mishloth on the table and the teacher on the turn you come and you take somebody else's I would literally bring the fanciest Mich with the best chocolates best everything and I will get back like a half open bumper bag of stale Bamba and I was like what I had the worst Karma I always got the words I'm rebelling I don't give English anymore for myself so I was explaining once what's the idea of Michelle and the Rizal explains that each and every one of us has a Godly Spark and a spark or flame if you add another Flame or a flammable material it will make the spark or the flame bigger right so when two Sparks meet you have the the ability of ignoring each other or not doing nothing or having the two flames man meat and becoming bigger and stronger that's mishloch that I give you part of my Godly Spark and you give me some of your Godly Spark and we kind of share the spark and together we're stronger that's the concept of just that you know in a few months but what is that to do with us is that every encounter that I have there's some type of a spiritual exchange that in many of the cases you are the one who needs it you're not delivering anything you're here on the receiving end our ego our arrogance our impatience or our feelings of superiority or whatever is causing us to push the person away because I'm too important now to listen to what you have to say and really you're holding the answer that I'm asking who is turning things around so every encounter that you have Hashem is telling you maybe today you'll get it how many times you didn't get it so hopefully now you'll get it then the next time that somebody lashes out at you or that's the worst thing to you it's just a smile at them to come kiss them well that's for your discretion you kiss wherever you want to kiss but that person is coming to help you this individual that I wanted to kill a second ago well and I don't understand I wanted to kill him because obviously I don't know maybe he owed me money from a previous life maybe he cheated on me with my wife I don't even know what this person that would be interesting to know what was going on between us the fact that something was going on between us that I understand we figured it out he also said he later on confirmed everything he said the same thing I don't know what got into me I mean you have to understand this is like a hasid this is not a some uh the way he looked he's a husted like me he also looks like he came from the dirt from the slums okay he didn't look like he grew up in but it doesn't matter he had the look The Beer the Peyote I mean he was like I can say like me but kind of like me and he told me the same thing I don't know what was going on I don't know what's going it's it's something you know within me I mean why wouldn't I of course I should I would have been quiet people travel half the world to come and print about symptoms I'm gonna ruin it to them he also he was like I don't know what was going on we were both like like two little girls like crying and a little sorry I didn't mean to we both got it can you imagine the feeling that you get it you're oh my God I have a tikkun with this person I don't even know who you are what you did to me the only time I had this type of feeling is when I met my wife is that I knew okay that's my wife of course I feel like that what I want you to take from this one of the most important things is the Chula is extremely powerful and shuva can wipe off anything there is not one thing that can stand in the power of teshua it doesn't matter what you did doesn't matter how bad you were it doesn't matter how much you neglected the situation doesn't matter 50 years passed you don't want to leave this world without YouTube that's the most powerful message that I got from this encounter I got like 12 but one of them is that your chuva is not over not that I thought that my true eyes over I know I have a very large balance yet but your chuvai is not over don't get so comfortable because you have a nice beard and a yamaka and you know if you came off by hard you're way way long way for your chuva I don't care if you're 40 50 60 or 80. YouTube has a long way now if you comply with the demands the chuva will be easier and will be like a breath of fresh air if you don't comply with the demands you're gonna have a problem the demands are follow the Torah do what the Torah tells you and and you'll be fine Hashem will take you on the chuva path and will make sure that you are clean are you willing to take the risk that you might not do chuva finishing this world then don't take the risk because the chuva it says clearly interacted about the ethics of the father called all the days of your life you have to do chuva I don't know when I covered my chuva I don't know I told you when I became observant I calculated how many times I didn't fulfill in it was very easy I took a calendar that's all it took to take a calendar from 13 till 27 how many times you didn't put feline on that's it add the leap years I came with a number so technically now I missed 4 322 times fill in it was around that number so now fix it now some things you say how can I fix how can I can I bring back life no I'm gonna insulted somebody can I now bring back the shame I can apologize till tomorrow some good health you said about somebody you ruined their business ruin their life ruin their chances to get to find a good match as you do you think sorry is going to make a difference you can't do too well for that what are you gonna do so we're gonna uh uh we're back for a moments I'm gonna say anus okay there's no despair you can do Chua for everything doesn't matter who you are what you did and how old you are but the gem to take out of it is that every person that Hashem decides to put in your path in the past of course but from this point and on value that person you don't know who that person is you don't know if that person is there maybe to just be there to annoy you to death so you can do Triva and that person is really should be the best your best friend our entire our entire Outlook at the people who are in front of us has to change and I needed the five days in Oman as a preparation because don't forget I didn't travel on tours for four years from beginning before Corona since I got sick and prior to that every two three months was a tour so I every two or three months I would see followers students mingle with people talk to people I I made a joke with my wife when I landed you know how you put the phone on airplane mode so I told my wife when I landed I put my mode on an unfriendly mode Hi how are you stallion friendly the friendly mode goes off let me go so but why did I need that five days preparation in Oman because everybody's in your face when you want to pray somebody's in your face your neighborhood they make with somebody's in the making it's it's a perfect place to introspect because you're not comfortable and everybody's annoying you and if you're smart the ones who are annoying you are the ones who came to tune your dials that's it and I've been teaching that for 20 years but now I got it straight to my face to value in a completely different way the person who's in front of you doesn't matter if he's coming he she in a positive way or in a negative way you have to acquire a new filter then every person that you bump into you go into a store there's four people there you go on a bus does the driver and the person who's sitting next to you next to me in the plane sat next to me a person three hours now normal behavior sits be quiet and please don't make noise the right attitude is like why is he sitting me next to me for three hours maybe I have to tell him something maybe he is going to tell me the answer that I've been looking for and if I know how to humble myself and to Center myself then the people around me become very very valuable to me because they give me all the answers that I need I don't need to seek for answers I don't need to call now every Rabbi in the world and tell them all my problems the answers are in front of me what I got from this entire trip not only from the belshantos the entire road map is in front of you all your answers to all your problems to all your questions are in front of you and you're too stupid and arrogant to see it that's how it is and every individual especially the ones who are bothering you irritating you and knowing you taking from you those are the ones who are holding the codes to your happiness and your serenity so I hope you're going to take this encounter I mean listen it I'm still digesting and this is one out of many after so good I'll give you a few other classes I had some other encounters but that's that's the the I'm trying to find the word in Hebrew in English I'm going to say a word I don't know if it's the right one that's the trick it's not a trick it's the hokma it's a certain wisdom that you know how to take every situation as a step as a in Hebrew it's called madriga to take one step higher and Hashem is so kind and so amazing how when he wants to bless you he will do anything unbelievable how Hashem will come through just just show the the willingness for me the trip the woman was great because I told my wife I don't want to go there I don't want to go I like sleeping in my comfortable bed I like praying in a comfortable shoe I I need my comfortable for a month and every time that something gets a little bit sour in my life my in my life then my wife has a very annoying answer why are you complaining you were in jail if I tell the food doesn't taste good you're in jail this is dirty you're in jail Okay so someone so now I have to suffer for the rest of my life no but if you really want to do chuva and listen we're standing in the beginning of the year I mean we are 70 into the Chua with this the urgency that I wanted to do the class today and not after Sukkot is because we're not done with our chuva we still have time to lose and this is applying to Jews and Andrews it has nothing to do with faith or background and Rosh Hashanah everything is decided Jews non-jews humans animals it doesn't matter everything is decided for the entire universe everything is sealed it's decided and sealed but nevertheless you have time to change the verdict change the decree change everything good or bad remove the bad increase good whatever you want that's really when the deal is closed so I was very very important to me that I make the class now that it will go online in a few hours that people can still do chuva because I don't know maybe yes maybe no but maybe wasn't that great and you need that extra push so she will bless you with a great year now it's not that Hashem doesn't want to bless you by the way I got this question already wow what a ship doesn't want to bless me with a good year well Shem not only that he wants He blesses you with all the good things that you need you are the problem with your stupidity with your sins with your arrogance with your being judgmental with all your problems you are stopping the Shepherd from coming that's it if there is no light in the room right now did I turn the sun off no I just closed the shutters I cannot turn the sun off you cannot stop the blessings of Hashem you think that Hashem says looks at you and says this year you really think Hashem looks and says no no no she's not getting married no no I don't like her Hashem throws at your abundance of blessings on everything that you need you just don't know how to catch it you don't have the vessels to catch it you're too arrogant to catch it you are not willing to focus on whatever you need to do to get the blessing the blessing is there don't dare to say Hashem didn't bless me with a good year this this year he bless you you just didn't take it so the chuval Rosh Hashanah has to be sufficient but we still have another weak Plus for shanarama you can now design the rest of the year now it doesn't mean that you need to do something today but you need to switch your scope how do you say scope the binoculars the your vision you need to switch it the lenses perception you need to say to yourself okay my entire I don't know if the right word would say disposition but my entire Outlook of everything has to change because Hashem is giving you all these presents and you're missing them all the time every day you're getting 20 at least and Hashem Hashem is giving you're missing them because you were too upset because somebody annoyed you because somebody said something you didn't like because you're just depressed for whatever because life sucks or whatever I don't know what you're going through but we're all going through a lot of hardship don't don't fall for the smiles they also not a smile I have a poker face I can go through hell and you won't see it on my face and a lot of people they just they just put on a happy face and that's it but the reality is most people go through a lot of problems all day long on a daily basis one issue after another and usually tears us down breaks us down but really when you're taking this small message that I just said every encounter is actually a very powerful one so even the annoying ones if the attitude is what does he want from me now again then you're not gonna gain nothing but if the attitude is like thank you God for bringing this person please allow me to see what I need to say yesterday perfect fresh in my mind it happens to me 10 times a day but yesterday this is how Hashem works my son washed my car and then he tells me is this scratch new I lost three minutes of my life scratch no no so I run down there wasn't a scratch there wasn't nothing it was a little bit of dirt but when I was next to my car I hear the soothing voices of rabba lava I'm like uh great I turn around some guy runs to me I can't believe I seen you and then I mean I can't believe I'm seeing you too I was hoping that somebody will catch me now in the street and tell me his life story so these guys I'm ventilating I can't believe I'm seeing you I came from Florida and this and I was looking for your house and I was hoping and praying around to you now one of the odds you'll run into me zero because before even before I go out of the house I look anybody out is there a safe ride put a hoodie on so obviously the person has to had to run into me he had to share with me for seven minutes whatever life-changing situation and all that I will never I would have never come out and again I'm saying that uh not to hurt anybody or not to I know people will distort it many people ask to see me and I don't have time that's the reality I get if I uh if not 100 or 200 requests a day I don't have time if you are one of them I apologize once I had more time I can't handle thousands of calls and and it's not a minute if it's a minute hello hi nice to meet you fine to sit with a person for an hour and a half how many hours and a half do I have now who do they do you or you or you all the other 500 they want my attention and not because I'm so great because they want my attention it's not the point the point is that not always I have the time to sit in schmooze and talk and answer and you know when somebody talks to me I just I don't like clean in Northern you know read four capitals of tell him everything will be okay I actually listened to give the right answer it's time consuming draining and in the energy is draining but when I already run into somebody that's a whole different thing look how Hashem took me out of my house that my son had to tell me there's a scratch on the car I wouldn't go out of the house normally I would say the scratch on the card scratch oh my God a scratch so I ran out and boom this guy is right in front of me that he has to talk to me it's obviously that he has to talk to me but the next level is to understand I need something from him Hashem is doing me a favor right now stop whining stop complaining so being so rude to this person that person brought you a present that's how we need to take our service to the next level every person in my life came to give me a present I don't know right now what it is sometimes just me not reacting maybe that's the present but it can be as extreme to our rectification with another soul from an encounter from a previous life that's how extreme it can be that the person that you had a three second argument in the street maybe that person there's a 2000 year account that is dragging over five incarnations and maybe that's the person and maybe that is really what opens the path of chuva I'm telling you know now in a humble way it's hard for me because I'm I'm not a person that shares my feelings with anybody I don't like that I'm telling you this encounter changed my life completely my Approach into approach of chuva everything completely which for me makes me understand that sometimes how do you call it when you have a stones in the kidney kidney stone kidney stone kidney huh kidney stone I hope I won't get it I hope for you you won't get it and I feel sorry for the ones who got it you know the pain when it comes out you're not nodding so you didn't have it you had it gallbladder the pain I can't even imagine because you're trying to squeeze a stone out of a pathway that is a fraction of the size of it that's how hard it is sometimes to do chuva for something but when you're able to do such a true voice like is if it opens the entire valve of chuva and the entire blockage was removed that's how I feel that something so strong was removed and it took 20 years of chuva and I can't even tell you how much effort to somehow jiggle the whole thing and in how I understand that this was like a rock in the Tino in the pipe of my chuva that blocked a tremendous amount of Chef origami because when you're able to hold yourself I mean this is foreign if you are about to lose your temper and you hold your anger it says the other way around that if you see a person that was insulted offended affected in a way that and they're controlling their anger go ask for a blessing from that person on the spot that person will give you a blessing on the spot some sources will say 70 years of punishments and decrees are removed if you just hold your anger and don't react so and I gave a long last long class about it I think two years ago in the little chuba Boot Camp or the little Camp whatever we did I have a gold class remember that class every person who knows how to move over or to overlook or to completely ignore his middle his anger frustration and so on they're removing all his sins so I do believe that it took 20 years for that match I needed 20 years of a spiritual workout to stand in that match any other day I wouldn't stand the match I would kill him or I don't know jump out of the window not to kill him or something giving over the message this is applying to each and every one of you I'm not I'm not different than you I'm not special I'm not unique you just need to find this in your life you need to recognize it in your life you need to humble yourself in a way that you Embrace this encounter to even happen and then to be able to see it happening in front of your eyes and to apply what you need to and again of course is only ours so I gonna thank you enough for your patience um I want to thank Hashem for actually doing that for me and also the belshanto through being a great judge and to the individual who doesn't matter I mean I don't want to say now the name should not be anything interpreted the wrong way of course he was like of course I told him who I am he's like of course tell the story I told him can I make a class can I say the story I I got a Musa here unbelievable message can I say the story he's like yeah yeah he says can I invite you to we'll do a podcast he's like no no no and I was like okay so but the the I I hope I'm able to relay the power here because really at the end of the day really at the end of the day somebody asked me now in Oman he saw that I'm a little bit annoyed by all the Selfies and the hugging and the diaper no [Music] it can drive you nuts I met uh I met there in Oman uh a good friend of mine he's very famous he's a singer Nissim black is a converted so he was also there so we met in a private apartment tell me how are you walking in the streets he said you know the rest he said arrests he said I can't I can't walk two minutes I'm like okay whatever that's the price it comes with the territory but why am I saying that why did I tell you that see now I forgot ah so somebody somebody told me no man it was very special it was special to see my followers I see you but I don't see people behind the camera and it's it's nice to see to hear the reaction so one person told me uh why why are you doing what you're doing like why you you teach Torah I mean you say you you actually say that you don't want to do that you don't like doing it I mean why you do that and I told him because I understand that my chuva is dependent on the collective Juba I can't be a lone wolf I would want to if it was up to me I will buy a little house in the village and I will have a goat and and a few chickens and a few trees of food and I would learn Torah and you would never hear me or see me or know me that's what I would want but I understand that my chuva and my progress spiritually is dependent on everybody's chuba and if nobody is included then I I might as well turn the engine off and go home which means that I can't have success if you all are not on the same page so it's not about being a selfish or it's about that we we need it in a collective way and if it's not going to be in a collective way it's not going to work so we have to help each other and we have to be there for each other and we we that doesn't mean that we have to like each other okay that's a a a a very important thing we need to know to love another person like yourself it's a uh one of the strongest foundations of the Torah yeah but nobody you are not able to love anyone like you like yourself doesn't matter if it's your spouse your kid you will never love anybody like you like yourself therefore the way to understand I told you that you have to put a comma after um you should love another person comma not yourself kamoha goes on Hashem that I have to love another person like Hashem loves that person not like how I like them because I will never like them and I won't like them and I don't think I'll like them but Hashem likes that person then I have to like the person like Hashem like the person that's I don't need to like you neither one of you you don't need to like me the truth is that I don't like most people but it has nothing to do if I like them or not I don't need to like you I need to understand you I need to be patient with your needs I need to help you I need to like you know Shama I need to like your actions I can dislike your actions if you're inappropriate but I will never like you like how I like myself how would I like you like like myself it's impossible but I have to like you like how Hashem likes you so I have to understand it in a Collective way we all need each other you cannot do Chua without me I will never get an atonement forgiveness and clear out the situation with this guy if he was not brought physically to stand in front of me I needed him means in other words any each and every one of you I have what you don't and you have what I don't that's it it's simple as it is and when Humanity will get it then mashiach will be here the second that the human race Jews non-jews doesn't matter we'll get what I just said then the the world we will be ready for Redemption therefore I feel that the encounter that I had at about shemtov was in the level of what the Baal shemtov can create that can only happen with the battle shemtov and many of maybe a few other greats that they came the Rizal didn't do that for me I didn't do that for me obviously the Belgium Tov has something in shamaim says on himself that rabbis should not take a pidion from people because they can't really help and why because in order for the pigeon to help you need to know which courtroom you're being judged if you're being judged in this courtroom and I take the pityon to this courtroom it's not going to help you and nobody can know in which courtroom you are being judged there are 20 courtrooms that can be judged in the heavens says on himself I have access to all 20 courtrooms so if you take me as a lawyer I will enter any courtroom that your case in I can enter now who can say Okay can give you that so you need a good lawyer and you need to know who can do for you the tikkun sorry to tell you the ones that you dislike the most are the ones who have all the keys to all your problems now deal with it you have to deal with it however you have to deal with it if Hashem is bringing you to deal with a lawsuit whatever it is anger angry a relative doesn't matter there's nothing wrong with that person don't have any anger towards that person hate animosity don't don't how do you say dirty your mouth and then you're failing miserably you need to come and thank that person and in a very diplomatic way get out the spark that you need and Hashem made that encounter because you would not go to that person to get your spark Hashem made that encounter so you'll be physically closed so you can somehow get that spark without being burnt and that will depend on you and that's why every person in front of you is a very valuable person you don't know what information or a key to one of your problems that they're holding so I feel humbled and blessed because allowed me to do for 20 years to go through many many many different approaches of different books of chuva because really nobody teaches go on YouTube you'll find a lot of information about the weekly portion a lot of I I will choose to say the reason Ali kabala on the internet people think there's Kabbalah what we teach is not Kabbalah it's and then of course a lot of fraud but you know what there's not a lot on the Internet or I mean I'm saying internet but also in Yeshiva you won't find it nobody teach us to do how to do when I was in Yeshiva nobody taught me how to do Cuba how to learn Torah they didn't teach me how to pray and they didn't teach me how to do chuba did you find anywhere a book how to do chuva there isn't a book how to do Chua because it will be a library and maybe nobody did it before yet because it's a either too big or either cannot be or somebody like uh Joseph Carroll who's waiting to do the sugar maybe somebody is waiting to do the book of Juba there isn't book there are books that are called chuva but it doesn't teach you how to do Chua the closest you know you have to somewhat a guide is and and I'm saying it's not good there's no step-by-step do this do this do this we're redeemed so obviously we don't know how to do drugs and I'm telling you now one of the most important keys in Cuba took me 22 years to figure it out every person you run into there's a tikkun there and now now don't mess it up if you mess it up you'll have that annoying person in your life for a long time until we figure it out take what you need to take release the individual do it in the nicest way possible that there's not going to be anger coming from the other direction and you are on the way to Dutch oven when you really really really opened the the who then you'll see the hand of Hashem what he can do then you see an unbelievable blessing because if this guy is holding grudge against me for two thousand years I'm gonna have issues growing higher only helps between sins between me and God so I have issues with you young people is worthless just go and make a barbecue it's not going to help I said one word too much foreign bless you with an amazing year a year of clarity that you can see every obstacle on your way to be able to jump over it with great success and see every opportunity that you have coming towards you to better yourself to better other people's lives to really focus on your chuvadas here that you can become a worthy vessel to receive all this wonderful blessings that the Colossus is giving to us and hopefully be a valuable Link in the entire process of Hasting the Redemption by seeing eye to eye that we're all in the same level doesn't matter who you are and we need everybody to be included in the Redemption including all the evil people including everything it's part of the Redemption it's part of hashem's script most people are just too much in the confusion of this hair this nonsense of what's going on I told you a year and a half ago you have to stop everything because when you're going too fast you get dizzy you don't see what's in front of you we need to focus on what we need to focus now for the next year year and a half because if not we're going to be in trouble and our chuva has to be in a completely completely different level and if you take one percent of what I told you today and the next time somebody is really annoying you to a point and I know everybody pretends they're nice behind closed door everybody nobody's nice behind closed doors people tell me you sound polite you're so nice he said yeah come to my house when I'm angry you'll see how polite I am yeah I'm not different than anybody and it's a this applies to each and every one of you you don't want to see me you don't want me to see you angry in your home right in the street everybody's how are you oh behind closed doors you are not the same you right okay so let's not fool each other we all have issues with losing our temper some more some less next time make a quick calculation before you lose your temper because you might use and not your temper and really this was like the Epiphany I I understood in the last 20 years that every time Hashem brought me to uh uh in Hebrew you will call it at the home the home is the abyss but it's a way to say in Hebrew that Hashem brought me to the The Edge before you fall so I got that numerous times where I understood that my reaction is detrimental there are numerous times in the last 20 years that I got to a point that I knew if I just press the trigger that's it stories over not trigger of the gun the reaction here is going to be the end of it and I knew to calm myself down and to let the wave pass now I hope I can relay this to you the next time that the attack is coming to you you see it as a smile of Hashem you let the Wrath go above you you ignore the anger you ignore all the calm you've just Elevate yourself you grow to a higher level that you're saying I need to use this energy to jump not to be not to fall down because the energy is intense most likely you'll fall down for the wrong word wrong body movement but if you take that energy as a jumping board the chuva is in a completely completely different level thank you for your patience I hope you're going to apply something over I said please share the video the share the class with everyone that you know and bizat Hashem hopefully this will be a little bit of a assistance to hastening the gura if we see each other in a little bit of a different way and I'll sign off with the wishing you Channel Hashem write you in the Book of Life sign and seal and you'll be blessed with an amazing amazing [Music] thank you