Why Moshe Refused to Divorce His Wife

the yeshiva dotnet Henry Kissinger is considered probably the greatest diplomat and negotiator of the 20th century for many years he served as the secretary of state of the u.s. he's originally a German a German Jew who ultimately reached great political Heights here in this country whether cherished or loathed people could not deny his skills at diplomacy and negotiation he coined the phrase they attributed to him called shuttle diplomacy and they once asked him what shuttle diplomacy is he said it's basically using my diplomatic skills to get a Siberian peasant to marry Rockefellers daughter or to get Rockefellers daughter to marry a Siberian passenger stand it's impossible how do you do it said well if your name is Kissinger everything is possible just how do you do it this is why I take a plane to Siberia I meet the real Russian Siberian peasant and I say I have a great American girl for you he says I'm crazy why would I go for an American woman there's great great women right here in Russia and I say no no she's not just a simple American girl this is Rockefellers daughter ah that changes everything okay then I take my plane to Switzerland the Swiss bank is looking for a new president I say have an exceptional president for you he's a Siberian peasant they say you're mad mr. Kissinger president of the Swiss bank he says no no he's Rockefellers son-in-law ah that changes everything okay now I have to go mr. Rockefeller so I gotta Rockefeller and I make the preposition I say I have a wonderful groom potential groom for your daughter he's a peasant to grow up in Siberia mr. Kissinger to insult my intelligence and my daughter in such a brute fashion no no no he's the president of the Swiss bank ah that changes everything he calls his daughter Helene Helene come in we have a great potential fiance for you really who he's the president of the Swiss bank she looks at her father bankers snobby pompous arrogant self-centered money hungry narcissistic cared nothing about society or humanity everything is money money and prestige and status never will I marry such a fellow says no no no no he's a peasant from Siberia she says ah that changes everything and so the that happens bisciotti vomits laughs I share with you this anecdote because of the story one of the more enigmatic and ambiguous stories in all of Hamas and really in all of the Tanakh that is recorded at the end at the grand final of partials Baha Louisa parshas by a portion of bajalia generally is loaded with many and narrative that require lots of decoding explanation and application but probably from all of them what takes the cake so to speak is the story at the end and what's really so strange about it is the datoria is obviously intentionally ambiguous as to completely leave us into the in the dark as to know what happened what we know is that suddenly out of the blue there's a conversation about moisture obey news marriage by his sister amok now we all know from family experiences that very often sisters of brothers have issues with the girls they marry that's a common phenomenon you can hear conversations and Families one sister turns to the other brothers I can't believe who our brother ended up with how did this happen I make up a mitzvah I make us asana took a hotel I hosted her and her kids for three days all she did was complain a whole weekend nothing was good enough not the rooms not the tables I don't know what and you know our brother is a changed man and so this happens in families all the time people analyse sisters-in-law and brothers-in-law quite extensively and quite dramatically that's a common phenomenon but when you look at this story suddenly out of the blue there's no there's no incident that precedes it nothing dramatic seem to occur at least in in a revealed fashion suddenly from nowhere the terror says and I'm going to quote so you can hear the ambiguity but tada bare iron Oh Miriam Benicia I'm sorry but the dabba Miriam of the ayran Benicia that order is important Miriam and Aaron begin speaking about Moshe now read away ones ears perk up what is happening they're just analyzing moisture so the plastic doesn't allow us to doubt what they spoke about our ego is her issue how pushes a Shalaka what did they speak about Marcia not about him personally but about the cushion that's how the tire describes the cushy cushy KooKoo shite woman which he married Keesha cautious Locka because by the way he married a woman from Courcelles not that they were talking about something that didn't happen they spoke about this woman that he took that he married what did they say who is this woman what was the issue guessing game doesn't say we know they spoke about his marriage what why now we don't know by a rule what did they say so you would think now you would get some details it only makes it more mysterious they say Aaron and Miriam say hi ray Lujan Rock Album Aisha Deborah Dino you have a gumbo gnudi bevor ich Monday night Miriam and Aaron say to each other we can't understand is it only Moshe who hears the voice of the divine to whom God speaks he spoke closer to us and the pasta concludes the conversation and said ain't God heard and God heard but yeesh Masha and now the story is over they had a conversation was supposed to figure out what they said about his wife but they said something we know that they complained that God speaks to them too so there was something that had to do with that and all we know is that Hashem heard the conversation now the terror makes a shift and oh so very uncharacteristically and unusually starts analyzing the personality of moisture now anyone who learned so much at this point you've known moisture for a very long time moisture was introduced first in the beginning of schmoes during his birth and since then there is not a single parsha where he does not play a central role because he was chosen as the leader the Rebbe the Redeemer the Shepherd of the Jewish people so he is the man who so to speak as he says he stands in between the people and God or no human being I've been a human being are my good looks have been a sham Obon hm mahadji look at miss Varsha every parish his name is mentioned not once but many times besides - Sava where his name is not mentioned but it's still all about he still plays a central role in the parsha so you would think when he's growing up you'll give us a tribute to his personality why was why him why nobody else but we know nothing we know a few stories about him when he was young and we know that God chooses him to go redeem the Jewish people and so we lived with Moshe he came to Egypt he ran for Meade was born in Egypt he ran from Egypt they came back to Egypt he confronted Perry took the Jewish people out he went through with Victor took them through the sea took him to the mountain broke broke the broke the tablets told them to build a Michelin communicated to them their heritage their Torah and their mitzvahs and now they're already on the journey quite a while after they left Egypt more than a year Aaron and Miriam are speaking about Marcia's wife and suddenly the tire goes off on a tent or it seemed the tire goes off to a different discussion and starts analyzing motion says for each moisture on of married Michaela Demartini Adamo motion was the humblest person form all people in the face of the earth you wouldn't find such a humble person how does that come in that also comes in here to the story what happens next in the fourth Park is suddenly peace I'm suddenly Hashem turns to moisture and Aaron and Miriam all three siblings and asked them to go out to go out of their tents whoever they were to the oil MyID to the sanctuary to the Michigan and that's when God speaks to Aaron and Miriam exclusively and he goes on to extol the unique virtues of my Charbonneau and he said you are prophets and I speak to prophets but like a navvy Moesha Moesha is in a different category and he describes him in four words Bacall Basie naman who he is faithful throughout my home which was obviously a euphemism an expression he is faithful naman loyal dedicated faithful trustworthy Neman in my home I speak to him mouth to mouth I speak to him in a vision and not in riddles he beholds the image of the divine how were you not afraid to speak against my servant Moshe and the posture the store continues God gets upset and leaves and that's the end of the story anybody lead reading this you read the verses and you like there's a lot going on but what happened what I don't you tell us what happened the next scene we know the next scene is that Miriam becomes Hamid Saros a condition that we would that would be somewhat similar although not the same as leprosy she's quarantined according to the laws of leprosy outside of the camp for seven days Moshe beseeches God to heal her and he prays for her honor Kail na rafin Allah Miriam ultimately is healed seven days later she comes back and we move on and yet it's one of the things that we are told to remember forever those who say every morning the shape series the six mitzvahs that the terrorist says to remember one of them is saw her they said share us our shymala kettle the miriam but there it says come ansari remember what our shem did to miriam on your journey out of egypt now the other five we can appreciate well why it's important to remember Lamont ischium says khmer it's mitzrayim the exodus of egypt my made her seen understanding it's ina Jews Shabbos accuracy my Shabbos Licata there's the story of our Moloch there's the Hat Hegel why was it so important to know about an individual incident that happened with one person it wasn't a national event that in define the Jewish people most people didn't even know the story they probably saw Miriam's illness at some point perhaps yes perhaps not but this was a very private intimate family story by nature was a conversation between Miriam and Aaron what are we trying to remember the commentary the commentators debate this story as usual everything in every story in Homer is debated by many commentators because it lends itself to so many different interpretations the first question is what happened what were they talking about if you read the passage without any any preconceived notions or any information preceding your reading of the PASOK it just says that Miriam and Aaron spoke about Moshe I lied I sorry shaka shakalaka about the crusade woman whom he married Keesha cautious laka because he married a crusade woman that's what they spoke about without any other interpretation what are you hear from these words they didn't like her they felt something was inappropriate something was wrong Rashi which has become the most famous commentary on Hamish and in this story as well says that the parsec is not telling you they ended the story it's one of those brief sukham that delete the punchline or at least part of the punchline as R as she puts it he married her and he separated from her that's what upset Miriam so deeply Rashi needs to explain this because he's trying to understand what they were lamenting about what they were upset and why suddenly now so Rashi based on the Madras and this is the truth oh the truthfulness of the targum onkelos the uncoolest aramaic translation on kamesh also inserts those words he married a beautiful woman Rashi OSA says pushes as a euphemism pushes means dark so Rashi says who is this woman it's superior that's his wife we know that he married superior cause it's a story in choice he was a fugitive from Egypt he came to Midian he met superior history's daughter and he married her and they had two sons Garry Schyman Eliezer we know there's a long time ago what happened to that marriage so what happened to that marriage and this is our Ashley explains why it put why it gets put into the Turner right here it's quite an intense story moisture Robin who was complaining to Hashem that he's a lonely man he can't carry the burden of the nation alone so our Shem says you need to delegate and he asks him to choose 70 people 70 great human beings who will help him carry the burden of leadership and all of them become prophets there are two more by the names of el dodd and made that who also start prophesizing a young child comes to motions start screaming and says two people are prophesizing they're not part of the group that you chose elder and may dot and your issuer tells motion obey know that they have to be incarcerated this is a threat to your authority and Moshe responds in those immortal noble words if you could say one of the most noble expressions and all of the Tanakh hammock on a Ottilie who may attain coulomb hashem navy compete in Hashem is Rafael I am you're sure you're jealous for me my desire is that the entire nation of God becomes prophets that Hashem confers his spirit on all of them I really am not perturbed that her2/neu prophets and the next scene Miriam and Aaron are now talking about their sister-in-law who was then we want Mela after a Sheva brachot smash they hit there's a lot of a lot of tension to built up after a Bar Mitzvah fine even after a bris the wrong she gave the wrong name okay we get it we know who was very suddenly sera she fills in the gaps and says that when the person the child came running to marsh and said elder that made that have become two prophets superior his wife almost what you would call today an unconscious a Freudian slip she just it just came out of her and said woe to their wives i'il inish i say him shillelagh woe to their wives and miriam who we all know was a sensitive woman sensitive and our sensitive woman heard this and she grilled her sister-in-law why do you say this and that's when supporter for the first time shared with Miriam about her own personal faith that Moshe who was so to speak owned by the nation has separated from her in terms of physical relations now understand what this means if Miriam didn't know about it that means they were in the same tent they when the same home this wasn't the classic separation you hear about it was a separation that only two people knew about superior and Marsh they were living together if not Miriam would have known right after Sinai that motion myriad separa not together she never knew this Zipporah never told anybody moysha tal never told anybody so my sense superior moisture didn't just run my shant's superior will oily married and the Gemara discusses that moisture urbane who was told before math interior to tell all the jewish men and women that for three days before sinai they should physically separate not to have intimacy after Martin Terra Hashem told moisture tell the Jewish people go back to your tents meaning go back to normal marital life Virata you stay with me moisture inferred from that on his own that if he's going to be a prophet every moment he must remain in a particular state but he was with superior that's clear from the story if not Miriam would have known earlier but say Pyrrha cried out and said their marriage is never gonna be the same my husband belongs to the people he belongs to four million people doesn't belong to me as a private intimate man very dramatic moment Miriam who's again the sensitive girl or woman says separa I'll take care of my brother I'll take a I always took care of him I told my father what to do with him I told my mother what to do with them I told order of power what to do with them I watched I saw this kid I saw born we put him in a casket you know I watched he's my he's my baby which is of course why after the splitting of the sea it's Miriam who the terrier dedicates a separate story about how she led all the women in song and dance with the top him and the michaelis with the drums and the tambourines why suddenly Miriam why couldn't it be part of the national narrative and the answer of course is that for Miriam who was the circle you know with Mahal in Hebrew means a dance also means a circle it was a circle being completed because she is the one who preceded moisture the one who prophesize to her parents you're going to have a child who will save the day and save the people so Miriam naturally tells superior I'll take care of it what does an older sister do what are you what are you the older sisters in your family do when you see that your baby your baby brother's not behaving what do you do yeah you runt the other brother right you runt the other brother you send the text and you say emergency meeting I have to meet you tonight we got to shape up issues in the family so she runs to her brother Aaron so this is how Ashley understands the story and they talk about Marsha they weren't bad-mouthing moisha they were trying to solve a challenging situation because of their sensitivity so it's superior so when it says they spoke about the woman it's under they spoke about the woman they didn't approve of the marriage what they didn't approve of is what how he was behaving in the marriage and of course Hashem tells them that you're great people but you know you don't know everything about my Shura bana somehow this story is unresolved what happens at the end the SEP IRA feel better afterwards well her sister-in-law Miriam know about the story now IRA knows about the story Marsha will not defend himself because he's on of moieties humble and what we also know is that Miriam remains outside of the camp for seven days usually people don't put two and two together Miriam those seven days was a lonely woman perhaps sapore never felt alone again because her sister-in-law knew what her life was like and the moment she had Miriam who just knew about her story everything changes sometimes the greatest antidote to loneliness is not necessarily remedying the situation and the circumstances but simply sharing it with somebody who gets it could Miriam have gotten it not really she probably had a very different type of marriage she was married to a man named Kalle who was a very different type of person but Miriam was seven right after the story Miriam was in isolation for seven days now being in isolation but seven days is not - same isolation like in a marriage but Miriam right afterwards was dis completely disconnected that this is part of the story I suspect it's part of the story and as far as we know life life moves on many of the commentators struggle with raschi's interpretation first of all wanting to call her by her name superior why did she suddenly become a Koosh right woman we know what cushions pushes Ethiopia or Sudan right you're familiar and geography cush is the Hebrew name either free theo pia or sudan she was not from ethiopia she was not from sudan she was from a place called Midian with a completely different region why she called pushes raschi struggles he says she was so beautiful so some say pushes just like which means a dark woman just like when somebody is dark it's so visible you can't argue with it that's how powerful her beauty and glitter was you have to understand why would the Toyota want to point that out right here in the story perhaps they understood that there was something else going on there vanastra says that due to the region where she lived she was actually she had a very dark complexion that's why she's called coches he agrees that it's chip IRA the problem is however still why would the Toyota not use the name superior number two number two number one number two why don't you tell the story they spoke about the woman that he married and he separated the Terry doesn't want to be explicit about it you have to say you have to somehow figure that out how are you supposed to figure it out so a lot of the commentators struggle with this comment of rush they rush BOM who follows also a very literal interpretation says it's it's impossible to put it into these words there's mom associate sit with a completely different story and that is that moisture when he ran from Egypt he went to Midian somehow he ended up somewhere else because he came back to Egypt when he was an older person he stood in front of Pyrrha when he was 80 and at some point he ran from Egypt when he was a younger man so where was he all these years so there's a tradition that he was in a in cushion Ethiopia or Sudan and that's where he married a woman that's what they were talking about there's another issue of Yosef eben Casspi who has a completely different interpretation in this process and he says that area is not talking about SEP IRA and he brings another very interesting proof it says they spoke about moisture concerning the Kushites woman whom he married because he married a co site woman if it's talking about SEP IRA we know that he married superior why do you have to repeat yourself they spoke that imagine who would say Miriam and Aaron spoke about moisture because he married spoke about moisture concerning his wife Zipporah whom he married because he married soup IRA really we know that so it'd been past mihrab Yosef had been Caspi he lived in Provence in southern France in the 14th century has a whole different interpretation he says that he completely disagrees with all these commentators who insert words that are missing he says this is not a way how you could learn tyre and everybody could do whatever they want and misconstrue every verse they say oh there's a word missing thank you he completely mentally opposed to the interpretation given by probably most of them afar M and he says moysha married a second woman there was another cou shite woman who married in addition to superior and Miriam and Aaron very upset about this and the Torah doesn't say why I says we don't know why I'm explaining this to you to show how extreme the interpretations are because the puss ik is so nebulous about what happened but today I want to focus on one more interpretation that I found really fascinating very applicable extremely relevant to many lives and also inspiring to a certain degree and it reads quite interestingly very it reads very well it can it it fits very I should say it fits very well with a pretty straightforward reading of the text this interpretation is in a safe recalled Moshe of skåne M la balle Atos mas so you're talking about quite an early commentary of the ballet at awesomest the valiant the ptosis means an addition like loss if theis miss an addition in every standard town with an NB standard Gemara you'll have on one side the commentary of Rashi and the other side of commentary called toys toys versus not one person toys which means in addition Rashi who lived in the 11th century in France Rashi lived in the ten hundreds and early eleven hundreds in France had three daughters he didn't have any sons as far as we know and these daughters Berg gave birth to extraordinary children who founded a whole school of thought knowing in Jewish history as the ballet Hatice vez those who add it they were all mostly Ashkenazi Jews meaning they came from friends in Germany from the house of Rashi and over one or two hundred years close to two centuries they developed a whole method of learning and they crown every page of Gomorrah many pages of Gomorrah with their commentary including many arguments with their own grandfather or great-grandfather or teacher this was that children grandchildren great-grandchildren great-great-grandchildren as you have doubts Khanum of ballet artosis one of the commentaries is known as moshav scanning me ballet her Tasos these were authored in the 12th and 13th century and France and they offer a new interpretation to this whole story and what they found what they say is quite fascinating Lee very different twist and again Raschi does not agree with this rash he has his interpretation that Miriam was taking up the honor and dignity of Sequoia as an older sister together with Aaron even though God got upset their intentions were very were very positive in fact were very noble and very sensitive that's Rash's interpretation it's similar to the targum onkelos it says this in you have the Evan Ezra has this commentary then you have the second commentary I said from the Raj bomb that he married a Koosh right woman from from Ethiopia when he was running away from Egypt you have you have the targa munis in benezia who also supports that there are bomb has a support in your nests of a new zeal you have your beliefs if had been Cosmo said he married a second woman and they were upset about that now we come to the moisture of scaling I'm going to read to you what he says harima Farish rob a new heats hawk it's probably the grandson of Rashi says with the upshot the literal meaning is chicagee brew Aaron Oh Miriam Aaron and Miriam spoke about moisha what was their issue the exact opposite issue and it's important to learn this to understand how these sensitive topics are inherent to the earliest moments of Jewish history and how sometimes great people can develop certain perspectives not because they're bad people but because they genuinely feel this is the right thing Aaron and Miriam said the following I quote with a Hasid Kamiya hey no higher like a Agoura can a pious man like our brother marry a non-jewish woman vim Tim Salaam our Pia Deborah Sally Gambon Odaiba Russia can you say God told him to do this God spoke to us as well and the recess on rule euler moisha Miriam and Aaron told Masha Shaniqua at Harris mohassess it's time for him to marry another woman who comes from a Jewish family lineage via Nia as I see him Adonis and let go the woman who is married to now who was a Midianite woman not from a Jewish family whom I shall oritse and moisha refused arguing with his sister Miriam and his brother Aaron what is their interpretation they spoke about the issue hakushi sir Sherlock and according to the Muslim Scania mitso so superior not that he was separated from her on the contrary they wanted he should separate what was the issue what perturbed them so let's recall the circumstances of Moishe's marriage to his wife this goes back to SHM ice moysha was a fugitive he was running away from the sword of Pyrrha he arrives to a place called Midian he meets the seven daughters of ye Sirois who were being bothered and harassed at a well he saves them who is east Roy East Roy is a pagan priest as our sages famously say there was not a single idolatry in the world that he did not master and did not worship Marcia under these circumstances wants to get married yes Roy offers him his daughter and moisture marries to pyre where was moisture at the time he was a fugitive he was a refugee he was penniless he had no family and no home he had no community and he married superior come Miriam and Aaron and say but today the circumstances are completely different he is the greatest man of the generation he's a prophet he's a king he's the man chosen by God to lead the Jewish people he took them out of the Egypt he took them out of Egypt he molded them into a nation he gave them the tighter the group the blueprint for life doesn't motion now deserve to marry a woman from Jewish royal blood the fact is that Marcia revena married a woman who grew up as a non Jew her father was one of the top pagan priests in the region she knew nothing about Jewish life nothing about Jewish culture nothing about Jewish existence as they say in English surpass smashed marriage should be min be monoi moisture deserves a spiritual princessness like he is and superior wasn't that person superior was had her quality if she wasn't that person she wasn't the Siberian peasant I spoke about but she was a Midianite non-jewish girl who grew up in paganism that's who she was and here people were looking Moshe Rabbeinu Robin shall call you sir all was the father of all the prophets and his wife he said Wow whether she come from which base Jakov did she go to by struggle by sorrow my sons by SCANA by sir I don't want to discriminate she went into this school that school who's her seda who was a barber really Wow he was the chief rabbi of Bialystok really a virgin and he said who are your sisters who are your brothers it's so nice to meet you tell us about your family and Superior I would say yeah my father really you know he's he's in an ashram he's 20 years he goes to one ashram then he goes to a monastery he jumps around from God to God and so forth and it seemed like there's something off here this is moisture a banal and therefore they told my sure this was good when you were a fugitive now you should remarry that's how the moisture of skin em understands the story at least a woman who grew up among the Jews saturated with the Jewish culture somebody who knows the difference between Canada Luke and Herod between collapses and kishka or whatever it represents on many levels they felt it's inappropriate for a spiritual giant the spiritual leader of the generation to have as a soulmate a person of such poor and impoverished linkage moshe refused why did moisture refuse moisture told Miriam inerrant he would never ever leave his wife Zipporah why not so the moisture of skåne in quotes how he understands the debate moysha said may either shallow cook Ishihara ani she married me when i was penniless i had nothing but add to her amela now i'm a king now he's a king lear Upsala Gousha he will never divorce her now for la Haine Omar that's why Hashem describes Moshe with these words but called AC naman who he is the Loyalists person in my entire home from all the adjectives that the reboilers shall L am the master of the world chooses about moisha Neman what does the word in them whenever doesn't mean holy Neman doesn't mean transcendental Neman doesn't mean heavenly Neman doesn't mean sacred nemon means trustworthy visa come enough Yiddish nama bug light but what is nice get try faithful get try but Lloyd means you're honest like in terms of business or word as a word but somebody's talking about it obviously it's part of that naman here is loyalty guitar I shaft absolute and unwavering dedication you never ever betray trust why does Hashem choose this adjective because basically what moisture was telling his siblings is you guys don't understand support I was without anything she didn't marry me because moisture obey no hindsight is 20/20 I was a nobody I had nothing I didn't even know if I'm ever gonna see my family again I grew up in royalty by non-jews I didn't live with my family then I sited to do the right thing and saver drew and I had to run away I had nothing I had the clothes that I was wearing they even called him when history said who was it they said ishm it's true they called him an Egyptian man she didn't marry me because my father was Amram who's the Gundel ha door there our mom says the Great and grande of the generation and I'm room comes of course Amram is a son of Kohath and causes a son of Lavy and they vie the son of Yaakov it's a Canaveral and llave he was chosen as the tribe of holiness even pirate didn't demand that the tribe of Lavy works he gave them the ability to segregate themselves and study even Pyrrha recognized that they should be treated differently this is probably isis credit because the ice have allowed the priests of egypt at the time to be treated differently and as a result of that power allow the tribe of Lavy to remain spiritual even within the enslavement of Egypt and Rome was considered the prophet of the generation his wife here heaven was one of the great personalities of the generation Miriam and Aaron were prophets moisture comes to Midian SEP IRA didn't know about all of this why did see Pyrrha marry me Moshe said she ran me for one reason my character my internal character now you want that because I have risen to such prominence and leadership I should look at the prayer and say you're not good enough I need somebody with useless with distinguished lineage Moisture completely rejected the thought that Miriam and Aaron communicated to him lawyer ups he said no way she is mine she's my wife so when a sham wants to describe to Miriam and Aaron who Moshe is he says behold basin Amano his a bigger gap in height his gets rye shaft his dedication his loyalty his faithfulness and his devotion is unparalleled become a cinema no for moisha nothing Hashem was saying what Trump would be more important than this quality here was the wife of his youth the woman who married him when he was vulnerable and broke and had nothing nothing ultimately mattered more so you'll tell me but shouldn't the Navi marry a woman who comes from a similar family the fact that he came from the priestly family of La Vie and she came from a pagan household the fact you can imagine when you story came to visit what the people will say what an interesting father-in-law he has he was the greatest leader of the generation who speaks them face-to-face she came from a family of idolaters so there was no family dynamic over there of Yiddish guy this was meaningless to him ultimately why because what mattered more than anything was her loyalty to him which inspired his loyalty to her but Hashem adds more than that he says he's a real prophet he speaks with me face to face and he sees my image how does that contribute to the understanding of the story what are some seems to be telling them according to this interpretation as this people without God create new ones you see sometimes people you'll meet people that say oh I don't believe I don't worship any I don't worship God I don't believe in God well everyone worships something the question is only what you worship either you worship the real God or you create other things to worship everybody worships a god they just have different names for it in life you worship something life is tough the world is challenge a lot of competing instincts going on in everybody's psyche we end up worshiping something I know no person who doesn't worship the question is what you worship do you worship your ego do you worship your addictions do you worship money do you worship validation do you worship fame do you worship your insecurities do you worship social conformity do you worship peer pressure I told you they once asked a 104 year old woman what's the advantage of living to this age so she said less peer pressure we worship what about fear the you fear becomes a God for many people it dictates much of our life just my god fear masters we worship because we human beings we are mortal human beings when somebody doesn't worship God they create new ones to worship and this is what our Shem is saying about my sharavino pal pada boy this is not just my she is a very nice person and a warm person it's because of his intimate relationship with Hashem that allowed him to cultivate this perspective it's because of his intimacy with God with our Kadosh Baruch ho that allowed him to love and be sensitive and close to his wife in this way people who don't have God in their lives as I said create new ones so they do things for other people other people sometimes becomes argue become our gods the role that God is supposed to play other people start playing sometimes the community sometimes certain individuals but God we still worship it's just a different God has a different name the Baal Shem Tov's father I spoke slowest when the boss something was five years old he lost his parents and his father on his deathbed his name was rebellious and he told his son mom-ish moments before he passed away he told him two things he says those Nishimura husband from cain mention from Cain's a finished I said I'm a barista so slip up and yet need me danghang Suharto neshama don't fear anybody or anything but God loved every Jew with every fiber of your soul and those became the two pillars that guided him and inspired his entire transformation of the Jewish landscape but when the Baal Shem Tov's father told them don't fear anything or anybody but God it's not two separate things it's not I don't want you to be afraid of anybody and I also want you to be afraid of God it's dependent one on another how could you not be afraid of anybody there's always somebody who should be afraid of if you normal I could be afraid of my boss even somebody who has all the money and affluence in the world there's some but they're always the one person who's a little richer and you're trying to get to his love you tried to flatter him you want him to become an investor the question is where the bar is but everybody worship somebody so what do you mean don't fear anybody how can you not fear anybody people have a lot of power in this world how could I not fear anybody I shouldn't fear this one I said what do you mean they could do this they could do this they could threaten this the answer is if you fear God then you have to fear nobody if not you have to fear somebody if you're a normal person unless you're completely mashugana you got to fear yourself so what happens is people often do things for other people their parameter of right and wrong is often how it will look from my neighbors from my relatives for my siblings for my nephews for my community for my friends we often become busy with impressions we want everything should look good appearances often matter much more than truth in other words appearances become my new god that is what I worship my decision-making process how to go about something what to do what not to do what comes into my decision process not the real God what comes into my decision process is as they saying inish the svet men's Ogun you ever heard that expression what are they going to say that becomes my god that's what I worship and for this I will often decide vital make vital decisions about myself my loved ones my children moysha was on the opposite extreme all that matter to him was truth nothing but the truth truth and more truth and yet more truth the petty considerations of what looks good what sounds good with all the alchemists on the block are going to say was as important to him as another Yiddish quip the father Yara Krishna they were as relevant to him as the snow of 2003 remember the snow of 2003 not here in New Zealand that's how important these things were to him as important as the snow that fell 20 years in Antarctica they simply didn't mean anything to him he was on of my that's why the terrier says he was the humblest person on earth he didn't need the prima donna of the century Miss America moisture urbane who cared for someone about whom he can say the same words in my house she is loyal and in her house I am loyal because God could say about both of them in my house she's loyal I met recently a rabbi who told me a very moving personal tale about himself his daughter is a very fine and lovely young woman he comes from a very prominent family of rabbis of dozens of generations literally very prominent European rabbis of particular descent and she met a very fine wonderful wise dedicated young man and as I said she comes from like a family of I would say what some people would like to call iris takraw see within the Jewish religious world not rubbish not different different group there are other aristocrats in the Jewish world the boy she met the boy she met is a convert he's a gare both of his parents and all of the siblings and of course his grandparents are not Jewish he converted they decided to get married the rabbi told me that he and his wife were absolutely crushed I thought to myself he tells me these what I thought to myself I'm gonna be photographed at the wedding with my mother my mokotan is not Jewish one of my siblings gonna say what am i uncle gonna say what are my aunt's gonna say what are all my friends gonna say this is what he did he couldn't do better this is this is what I was thinking and he said I'm being open with you and honest with you this one through my mind and I talk to my daughter and she said this is what I want and he tried to convince her out of it and his wife tried to convince they sent it to a therapist of course and then another therapist I said whether the therapists a therapist said she really likes it's not an illness it's not trauma not insecurity she's not crazy she's not try she really thinks this boy is will be a great marriage partner the rabbi told me these words he said I sat down with myself and I thought about it and then I told myself if I am opposing this marriage because I think the relationship won't work or it's not good for my daughter kudos on to me and my wife but if I'm opposing this relationship the course of my own phobias because of the fact a supposition that we will marry a family with parents that are not Jewish and grandparents that are not Jewish no Judaism and the family he himself the boy himself converted he was born as a non Jew and that's the sole reason we're opposing it not because of the quality of the relationship I have to quit my job in the rabbinate he has a very big community I decided I have to quit my job because I am simply an absolute hypocrite I always preach from the pulpit that were all God's children every soul has infinite value I always repeat the sukham of the turd that converts to Judaism have to be treated with absolute dignity respect and love and Here I am doing the exact opposite thing he went to his own father the potential grandfather and he went to consult him as his father as his mentor and he told him the story my girl my daughter met ploy near my knee he's a convert I'm struggling with it therapy is really not working it's not a psychological issue she really likes this boy he likes her they want to get married and what should I do and his father told him that one of his siblings had a similar situation one of this father of the bride one of histamine has a similar situation and he consulted his Reber who rebuked him for falling prey to externalities and not issues of substance so he said listen that's what I have to say he was shocked that his father will tell this to him he didn't think his father had that attitude so the rabbi told me said rabbi Jacobsen I decided to embrace the situation from an authentic divine perspective not from a social PR vantage point the social conversation I decided may play a role somewhere in my consciousness but I will not allow it to dictate my life I marched down the oil with joy pride admiration for my daughter and for her soulmate I knew that he was a really great person a wonderful wonderful human being a mensch a real Eurasian I am a real god-fearing person and I've been Terrier dedicated to Tara I knew how big in the fight and refined he was I met him and I sought and he told me that that Hopa when my daughter was mad got married to this boy he said it was one of my most intimate moments with God with God of truth that was a moment when I felt an intimacy with Hashem that I didn't feel at other moments and I understood him very well because that's what a sham says about moisha Bacall basing them on who in my entire house he is the most faithful a woman once told me she grew up in a very religious Hasidic community and one of her children struggled a lot with Judaism and he married somebody fast and pressure oriented marriage and they got divorced and then he met another girl from a very different type of background very different type of lifestyle but it worked for him they were both committed and growing together in Yiddish right and they got married and she told me all of her friends and relatives came to the wedding and on her for their faces it seemed like they were coming to a Shiva house they were almost like there to comfort her on the NEB ithaca situation that her son ended up with such a girl and they like looked you know with this feeling of empathy you know we still know you're a good person and we'll still talk to you like one of those and she said and I felt bad for them because for me it was the happiest night in my life this does not mean by the way I think I have to emphasize it because people sometimes are really clueless and they repeat back to me what I said this does not mean that a family is not important this does not mean that who a person's parents our grandparents our siblings are not important it's very important what this means is that the most important question concerning family and lineage is only one question how does it contribute to the character of the person your daughter or your son are marrying when the issue becomes more about family than character more about externals than internal nature more about what the street is going to think and what this one is going to say more than about if your daughter and son are going to be truly happy in this relationship then we have replaced the god of truth with the god of appearances so is it as important is family important this background important everything is important anything that contributes but what makes it important is what it does to the person not independent idols that people worship that really have very little consequence on the marriage itself and when that happens very often people suffer in silence because of the ill decisions of people who should show much more responsibility I received a call a little while ago from a father he asked me to call his daughter and convinced her to go to the Copa I said actually convince your daughter what's the problem so she doesn't want to get married I said when is the wedding she says tomorrow night I'm like oh so you called me a day before that's great he says I didn't realize it's such a crisis I'm sorry I said what happened she said that she realized certain things and she really doesn't want to marry this guy it's gonna end up in divorce and misery so I said can you I'm happy she could call me I'll try it I'll speak to her but you realized that if this is what she's feeling you may have to postpone the wedding until this clarity you know maybe it's gonna work out maybe it's not gonna work out but I don't think you should force a girl into marriage it's not the right thing how logically and on any other level how luckily you now let a force a woman to get married it's it's forbidden it's forbidden by tide it's like it's like the impression allowed oh it's a mitzvah that it has to be completely by consent just like you don't need pork at a wedding you're not gonna serve pork at your daughter's wedding if you force your daughter into a marriage it's like maybe worse than serving pork so I think you have to postpone it and then let's see what's happening maybe it'll work I maybe won't work maybe it's just an external thing maybe it's not serious he said no no no no that that's not an option the wedding is happening and I need you to convince her to go to the Copa with smiles as I say so you want me to drug her up or give her a tranquilizer and won't make her smile why don't we do a the wax museums we could stuff up a doll that looks like your daughter we'll get an artist and put her in the Hopa for the pictures will be actually better because everything will be perfect and the makeup never gets ruined in and do a stuffed doll you could do that also she says what are you he says what's that's the I need you to convince her I said I'm sorry I can't do this I can't do this in good faith and country's I could listen to her and I could tell her if I think it's something to be concerned about I'm not concerned about I'm not gonna pressure she's not a robot she's a person he wanted to get married I said let's think about the alternative I said what if the alternative is you put a sign on the hall that due to some situations the wedding has to be postponed we apologize for everybody's inconvenience he starts screaming at me says you know the bushes the shame I'm gonna have and show on Shabbos so I said I'm sure I wouldn't be comfortable coming in to show on Shabbos and people saying why was his daughter's wedding pushed off I want to be comfortable but I find this quite tragic that when I suggest that you become furious because of the shame you're going to have in the community from your wedding being pushed off well you didn't even mention once is the shame and the suffering that you're allowing yourself to cause your daughter of entering into a marriage with from somebody somebody she doesn't want to don't you sense that shame and which shame do you think is more important and I'll be so I'll be honest with you if I get a text or an email that this wedding was pushed off most people they'll think about it for approximately 8 and 1/2 seconds until the next text comes in and usually the next text comes in in two seconds the next whatsapp comes in in a second the next email comes in an Ananas second and even and even the to gossip guys on your block and the two yentas on your block that are gonna talk about it's gonna be for around two and a half days and then there's gonna be a new partial cause in your community every week there's a partial there'll be a new partion they'll forget about it but you want your daughter to remain like this for 70 years so that people shouldn't talk for two hours about you I said you have you have a different God than I do I'm sorry he listened and his response was even more tragic he said rabbi Jacobsen you know and I know that you're a hundred percent right but this is where I live sorry thank you for hell your help bye in other words he said you're right but this is where I live what does this mean what this means is that we come to a point where we often mama SH replace a real God with mama she fake idols that have nothing to do with any truth I want to read to you a letter from the Rambam and this is what I want to conclude with I copied it today and this will speak for itself and this was not said by a rabbi in 2018 this was written by the Ramba there are mom hands down as considered one of the greatest authorities in Jewish history and Jewish law the Rambam has for him but he also has letters that he wrote to people there's a safer called shouts a true versa Rambam the response of the Rambam and this is 12th century eleven hundreds there was a Jews name was Avaya Livadia was a convert a non Jew who converted to Judaism as every convert he needed teachers every person needs teachers but a convert especially who comes from a non-jewish home needs teachers Livadia got into an argument with his dad though with his teacher he told he was a Muslim he was a Muslim who became a Jew he told his Arab that the Muslims don't worship idolatry they believe that Muhammad is a prophet but they worship one God which many of the poisk I'm including the Rambam believed that Christianity had a form on a definition of idolatry Islam did not Islam was based on the error on the myth that Mohammed is a prophet then he changed the Torah he gave a new religion but not an idolatry something else so this Avada the convert old his riba that the Ishmael and Muslims are not worth idol worships and his rabbit told him that he's wrong they are Idol worshipers and the Rambam rights to Avadi I'm gonna quote Mahesh of Allah who shall echo Hogan you write to me that your ever responded to you inappropriately action is SAS after Aleppo till the point that you got depressed you got you you were hurt the car of in Atlanta and you got ashamed from his response to you another he didn't just disagree with you he basically shamed you for your position and when he saw that vicara elec or the teacher said on you the following verse a make silky lhasa respond to a fool according to his foolish news and he writes to the Rambam this story to get the inside of the rama he was a convert converts by definition are very innocent and pure and they don't have usually the hutzpah that home growing tomatoes have because they're not home growing you know they're not natives they've have the feeling of being from somewhere else so he comes to the Rama and this is his Reba and he felt horrible so he goes to the Rambam to find out you know if his feelings of depression are justified or not so the rambling response the fact is that the Muslims are not over there over there sorry they don't worship of a deserter there's actually very there's no idolatry by them they believe in one God and in complete oneness that's not the issue look and he discusses that that's in terms of the content the fact that you teacher responded inappropriately and made you despondent and depressed and shamed you and called you a fool and he calls him your rabbit this is your Emma a very dull OBO day he did a great sin mahoto the cutterhead god--all he transgressed the tremendous violation the charisma and I shall show you who I'm gonna give him the benefit of the doubt I believe that perhaps he didn't realize it was inadvertent but very loyal Lavaca shman cometh ela he has to ask forgiveness the right thing that's been to ask your forgiveness I Felicia autometer even though you're a student a teacher doesn't have the right to manipulate or embarrass or put down at the student for out her caveats oh and then your teacher has to fast the Izaak and he should cry out to God via spell and he should pray via con man he should surrender himself Elias Harper Olivia Mahalaya Kelly Osama maybe God will forgive him maybe God will forgive her for what he did and he continues his chic ERISA is your Abra drunkard but he Sakura is he a drunk is he an alcoholic well or yogi he doesn't know Suresh loiza mushishi McComas is here at toda la gare that is 36 places that the tired of warns Jews not to be insensitive to a convert the ayah double that he forget apostate the gaya noise sign of he in ASDA Martin that the biblically deterring prohibits to say words that can hurt the feelings of a convert aloo amar who are Emma's vehicie Atta hetalia even if he was right and you were in a blunder you were lost even if he was right hi a loyal husband was upon him allah dabble of heracles he still should have spoken to you softly and showed you a countenance of dignity and respect Koscheck ain't shot omerta Emma's vada especially you were right and he was wrong and he's insulting you the action said Danish a charisma alien in Who am I even have a deserted him la la la whoo slaps me a la casa should costs actually hit Wingate said looks like it didn't cause alkali koreas be a benefit without my desire here's we comes to the sharpest point which is really a very psychological point and he says and look at what he did he got angry at you to the point that he publicly shamed an honest convert why because he claimed that the Muslims are worshipping idols what did he do he got furiously angry which the Gomorrah has I'll say somebody who gets angry it's like of a desert so what he was suspecting them of he actually fell prey to himself look what happened in that conversation da and I want to tell you now that the obligation that the Turner gave us towards converts daily it's awesome and then he says something quite shocking Allah illallah aimed its Taavi nuba covered Amira when it comes to a father and a mother the tire says you have to respect your father and mother and have reverence from your father and mother I wanna see him on the profits the toyota says you have to listen to the prophets you have to respect Tati and mommy and listen to the prophets but the f sure she is habit autumn of the year of a yeesh mama Misha inna Yahweh the fact is you could respect somebody that you don't love you could honor somebody that you don't love you can have reverence from somebody that you don't love and you could listen to somebody who you don't love and nowhere in the Toyota does it say love your mother or love your father because if it's not there you can't force a child to do that the Torah says respect your father respect your mother you have to have all reverence from your father and mother doesn't say love even the prophets he says you could listen you could respect you could fear somebody you don't love them waha Galen Sivan UBA Ahava Rama on the game room there's a special plastic about half the mass again a special Mitzvah love the convert commercials Ivana Levis Schmo after Sasha melaka like there's a mitzvah to love God there's a mitzvah to lava convert the Kaddish Burroughs Kubek avoid the area of garish and Emma are you gay losses like welcome to similar God himself loves a conflict and if it's not another random writes this to the gear he says now I'm quite astonished that he called you the fool let's analyze who's the fool possession Karla Huck seal Tama God Allah I'm astonished that he calls you a fool why these are his words you're a person you let go of your father you abandon your father your entire household your birthplace your religion your heritage your monarchy your entire nation even though they have unbelievable military and political power you left it all behind why because with your mind's eye you wanted a cleave to the one nation that despises all of the great power that they have in the world because it's not based on truth you realize that there's a religion of people who are person it hunted but that it's based on truth you realize that all the religions whatever they have are all stolen from the Jewish religion this one adds this one subtracts this one changes this one lies this one covers up on five cardinal sins using Judaism this one destroys the foundations of Judaism this one changes Judaism's you realize that all of them have stolen what they have the good things from Judaism and the rest is there distortions you recognize this and you started to chase God and you embarked on a holy path and you entered onto the wings of the scheana and you decided to submerge yourself in the dust by the feet of Monterey Bay no the rabbi of all the prophets and you desired his mitzvahs and your heart elevated you to come close to the light and to the life and to ascend in the steps of the Angels and to rejoice and find pleasure in the joy of this addictive and you throughout the whole superficial world from your heart and you don't follow idols and lies and falsehoods are you the person who should be called a fool I would never call you a fool kalila let me tell you my name for you the Rambam says my name for you is my skill Oh maven who pacaya vocalist Matthias Tom inertial Avraham Avinu Shanie aheh voiceover melodic over not a hurry asha my name for you as an intelligent discerning wise person a man who worked walks injustice and straight and straightness a student of avril lavigne who like of rama v no said goodbye to his parents and his birthplace in order to follow god this is the response of the Rambam to avada Hagar this gives you a little perspective today in every community there are many Jews who converted to Judaism or on another level they didn't convert to Judaism but they didn't grow up with it and at a later point they came closer to you this man and they too had to say goodbye to their entire culture lifestyle behavior ways in which they lived sometimes notwithstanding the mockery of their own mother their own father their own siblings their own cousins who looked at them and said either explicitly or implicitly you're a normal girl you're a normal boy we raised you as somebody once told me I don't know what happened to my child a mother told me I raised him with a Glatt traif I raised him on go out to trave where did he get these feelings I told you have to check your mezuzahs and that mockery is sometimes the deepest form of mockery what often happens though is they come in to a Jewish community and a Jewish life in the beginning they're very idealistic they see the beauty of Yiddish kind of the beauty of a Shabbos table and so forth then sometimes different things happened is sometimes disillusionment and other sources of pain and agony one of the greatest sources of pain and agony is the self-righteousness that so-called ffb people from from birth people of a blond jet from birth people show to anybody who didn't grow up in their school system their Nusa don't have their phobias and insecurities don't have the same language don't stick to the same club and click in circle and very often ballet troupe our comrades who want to fit in and want to become socially integrated they have to give up a part of their truth and their soul in order to fit in and the great irony and paradox of what happened the whole Judaism is based on the quest of people for truth on the quest for people to communicate honestly without agendas and without politics and without cover-ups and the people who came to Judaism for that reason are often forced unconsciously by people who grew up with Judaism to start putting on masks and more masks and more masks and more masks just to fit in and especially when it comes to the great partial shidduchim the great cartridge of matchmaking and when it comes to getting in children to different schools and their finish Eavis and different seminaries it's good of Rome Avena wasn't around today because he probably wouldn't be allowed into any Shiva with a father like Tara and I assume rifka would have been throwing certainly not accepted by any seminary with a father like loved one and loved ones children raka I mean with a father like pursuer and raka lonely I don't know what have happened to them and they wouldn't be juiced today none of them would have been accepted anywhere thank God somebody else made their and what we see here from this much of scan him is that this issue wasn't an issue only between small people no people as great as Miriam and Aaron struggle with the same issue and yet this upset Hashem so deeply because he said moisture you have to understand the whole base in Eman home well he ultimately values more than anything else is a tri shaft truth loyalty integrity honor Duty respect truthfulness and dedication in fact every morning when we describe why are some pros Avraham the Navi decided to use the same words out to who are Shem Elohim have a hard to buy over embrace a Samira cosden was some dish my Avraham or matzo cestlavie voi nem on the phone aha you found this heart nem on what's this quality I've run was a genius of Rome was the greatest theologian and philosopher of his time I've ROM discovered monotheism of Rome was an extraordinary person after his disgust of Rama Venus - but the Navi describes him what sorceress Laveau Verena monophonic almost the greatest quality of of Ramat sees what it seems was you found this heart Neman you try faithful the it bigger cabin kite in a way you could translate it as the arrance kite arrance kite in terms of the seriousness that comes with authenticity not the seriousness that comes with depression or OCD there's two types of seriousness there's a seriousness that comes because you're always in a bad mood the seriousness that comes with authenticity authentic people have a seriousness to them not because they don't have a sense of humor there's a seriousness that defies humor because your interest people who are miserable hate people who have a good sense of humor because they like to cheer things up and they like everybody to be miserable but people who seriousness comes from authenticity they usually are very good with humor because they don't take themselves seriously they take the course seriously it's a seriousness that comes from authenticity person who's very truthful deep deep down when you reach their core you'll see a seriousness an unwavering commitment and dedication it never contradicts humor because it's coming from a place of a deep value not from a place of escaping misery or agony and therefore when our Shem wants to describe a from the Navi says motto says live over in Emma fascinatingly when he has to explain to Miriam and Aaron who moistures he uses the same word but call Basie nem mundo and he uses the word Basie card doesn't have a home the whole world is his home and above the world is his own but it's also referring to his marriage but ho Basie in a home each Temari their mission is basely zu each day Rebbe I see didn't call his wife only his wife he called his wife the home the whole home he knew that his wife is the whole home so behold basin a man who means in his entire home and his entire married marital life there's one quality above all and that's the name Manos they get try shaft the errand skite the seriousness of a relationship that comes from authenticity from integrity from the fact that you have a real real God that you will sell for nothing and nobody have a wonderful week this class is brought to you by the achieve Annette please help us continue the classes make even a small contribution at triple w dot they ueshiba net / donate