Why the Wisest Jew Committed Suicide: The Three Ego Traps

he did okay okay one source sheet [Music] double-sided thank you for Distributing it for welcome everybody thank you very much there's one source sheet it's double-sided it's also posted on the yeshiva.net if anybody would like to uh download it from the computer now or later next week Tuesday there will also be a Class A few days before sh that's next Tuesday there will be a classem 9:30 and Sh night I will also be giving a class here in tent gimmel for women and men that's night which is Thursday night or Friday early morning 1 a.m. everybody is invited and the second day of Shu which is shabas shabas afternoon at 6:30 the second day of sh there will also be a sheer a lecture in t giml also for men and women and children everybody's invited to that as well so next Tuesday we'll have a class the night of Shas and the second day of shuis in the afternoon the larger classes are in t giml right here in the back with a M both men and women are invited today's class is dedicated by rebot gross in honor of as he writes my wife Dr Miriam gross Dr Miriam gross in honor of her birthday and she is an accomplished psychologist in our community helping many through their life struggles May Hashem Grant her wisdom Clarity to go from strength to strength wishing you and abundant amen happy birthday and thank you very very much and thank you today we're going to explore together the story of one of the most fascinating and enigmatic people in the tanak it relates both to the sixth peric of pavas the sixth chapter of the ethics of the fathers which is learned is chabas as we complete pavas the shabas before sh and it also relates to the whole holiday and experience of Shas as we will see so this is aish class it's a sh class it's a t class let's begin with the for First Source on your Source sheets this is the third mishna of the sixth chapter of the ethics of the father's that's going to be learnt says the if somebody learns from his or her friend one chapter or one law or one verse or one say one statement or even one letter one word or even one letter one ought to behave respectfully towards that person really if I learn from somebody one chapter one law one verse one word even one letter yes so he brings a proof this we find by David the king of the Jewish people the king of isra David learned did not learn from a man named only two things alone nothing more than two things yet he called him Rabbi his teacher Al his master mu his friendly mentor as it says in is referring to you are a Man On My Level my master my friend my teacher from here we have a which literally means is light and is heavy and means whenever you can deduce something light from something something heavy it's a very logical way of assuming something for example if somebody can lift weights that are 400 lb I can deduce that they can lift 50 lbs if they can do something so heavy they can do something so light right that's called you learn the light from the heavy the king of is who did not learn from only two things alone and still he called him his he called him his mentor he called him his teacher if somebody learns from his from his friend one chapter one one one word even one letter but certainly he ought to behave with respect and give reverence and CID to the other person who has taught him even this single word or single letter this is the statement in the mishna seems like a pretty straightforward mishna teaching us sometimes we have people who we learned from so much but sometimes as a person I learned from very little maybe one one even one letter so we're learning from that learned from two things and yet there was a profound respect he called him his Reb only for these two things and from this we could learn a for every person learning from his or her friend I'm going to ask a question about one word in this mishna the word seems Superfluous and it also if if it belongs there it's misplaced and that's the word bad it says if somebody learns from his friend friend one chapter one law one verse one word or even one letter he has to respect him because David we see he only learned from the word seems Superfluous it should have said he learned from only two ideas when you say you learned from somebody only two things obviously it's only these two things you don't have to say the word bvad what does the word bvad means bvad means only lad only but said you only learned from two things what's the seems Superfluous and the M every word is precise and you see you see that this word is meticulous CU then the second time it says again if you even want to put in the word bad which means only two things it belong earlier one letter two things at least is two full ideas one letter is a bigger that even if you learn one letter what's one letter one letter seems insignificant so it should have said bad even one letter alone even if you want to use the word bad that's where it belongs even one letter at least is two things two full ideas by you should have put in the word bad so in addition to the fact that the word bvad seems so Superfluous and unnecessary its placing seems wrong but now there is a more fundamental question what's the tell me if there's something about what I say that Rings strange to you okay if somebody can lift lift up if somebody can lift a weight 50 lb for sure they can lift 75 lb does that make sense no very good isn't that what the mishna is saying if David learned from two ideas and he respected him so for sure if I learn from you one letter I should respect you no wrong you should say so if you learn from your friend at least two ideas you should respect them and expression of the G it's called what you learn from should have as much power as the first not more so you should say he learned from two things so or at least we learn from this that if you learn from your friend one chapter or two ideas you should respect them but he says even one one which is less than and even one something is off here these two questions were raised by the the b in his teachings a compilation of his teachings it's there it was quoted by his student told of pul pul is a city in Ukraine rakov cats H oful know as a told us was a teach a student of the B and he quotes shti I heard this from my teacher these two questions with the on this Mna the answer the B gave was brief very profound and fascinating shows how the word bilad is the key to understand this whole mishna we ask the word bad seems Superfluous really don't need it the word actually gives us an understanding of the whole mishna and why it's a and while you could learn even one letter you should behave respectfully towards the person who was taught this to you but in order to understand this we have to know who was who was this man and what did David learn from him and what were these two things that David learned from him so let's see the next Source says page 147a you have it in the Hebrew you have it in the English the rabbis taught now listen carefully before died and we'll soon see how he died he was 33 years old when he died we'll soon see how he died he took his own life before he died he commanded his children three things he left a Tav a verbal Tav not a written he told his friends three his children he gave them three messages right before he died this says clearly in the tanak as we will see that before he died he commanded he gave a verbal final will and testament to his children verbally what were the three things he told them so kazal said we have a tradition number one he told them don't get involved in M don't get engaged by quarrels by fights don't get into quarrels into M number one number two don't [Applause] rebel against Mal B against the royalty the kingship the kingdom of the House of number three if the weather is clear on the holiday of Zer plant wheat if the weather is nice on is the holiday of it's clear outside the sun is shining it's a clear day it's a beautiful weather this is a good time to plant wheat and then he died three messages good question what is he talking about first of all the first two seem a little repetitious if you're not going to get involved in M you're not going to get involved in any M certainly you're not going to start fighting the king of the Jewish people who was chosen by God Mal the third thing seems like okay is this a good agricultural advice right before he died this is my last piece of advice if a good weather it means the crop is going to be good plant wheat but he doesn't say plant grain he doesn't say plant vegetables he doesn't say plant barley spelt what happened to spelt who's eating wheat these days oat wheat [Music] zero what's the meaning of these three Commandments why are these his last messages before he does died for this we need to learn about who aul was when he was alive and then we can understand was and why he said what he said right before he died so let's begin a journey into the life of a the short but quite intense and in many ways productive life of a so we can come back to his death we can come back to his final commandment to his children before his death and we can come back to the mission pravis chapter 6 about what David learned from this individual [Music] oops see is called in tanak which which means he was came from a town or a city called gilo a small suburb of Jerusalem he's featured a few times in Schmo Bay for those of you who remember Schmo Bay Samuel 2 you'll come across the name of and he's mentioned also a few times in the mishna like here in pavas and in other places in the gar in the medish he lives during the times of DAV that's when his life story happens during the tenure of d d lived in the secular calendar D lived from approximately the year 1040 BCE before the Common Era till 970 BC 70 years as the tanak clearly testifies was an extraordinary human being a phenomenal phenomenal talent talent a genius of a man a brilliant Titus scholar a worldclass politician Diplomat and strategic genius a thinker and an adviser whose Council was sought by the greatest men of his time the tanak even says as we will soon see a compliment about a that I don't think it gives to any other human being in the T there's quite a few great people and that is to seek advice from is like seeking advice from God himself doesn't say this about people doesn't say about anybody so you can understand and T writes this this is not somebody somebody said this is what I think what I feel this is recorded in the tanak in b as we will see ultimately he's actually a king maker his influence is on the highest echelons of Jewish life not only that the gar says in the beginning of when the economy was Dire in the morning they would consult D about how to help the economy and David would suggest War and the person they would seek advice from was it says they would ask but they would consult he was like he was like a human which is like the breastplate of the where they can get advice about things to do at a very young age according to kazal his entire lifespan was 33 years of age so during these three years the man accomplished quite a lot so at a very young age he was already the president of the Sanhedrin and you have to understand the San Sanhedrin was the Jewish Supreme Court that numbered 71 members to be a member in the Sanhedrin it was literally chosen there people main who was the first one who made a Sanhedrin he was number one and he had another 70 with him and in each generation you had a Sedin and it continued till a few hundred years after the destruction of the second bikes when the institution of the Sanhedrin was demolished no obviously he was B Mitzvah yeah circumstances there are exceptions I guess usually you want to take your right somebody with wisdom and experience in America I think you have to be 36 to become the president of the United States H 35 you remember the Constitution okay now understand the Sanhedrin was responsible with the transmission of for the spiritual welfare of the Jewish people it was considered the highest most distinguished prominent body of the Jewish people had to decide all the ultimate questions and dilemas of the nation and even among those figures a stood out as someone absolutely unique as a result he rose to become a person of enormous influence an enormous power because D appointed him as his chief advisor he's given the title in tanak of an advisor now we all take advice from people but this was his vocation this was his job his sole job was he gave advice so when D needed advice about something important and critical he had one address such a person has obviously innumerable in extraordinary influence now and in Bay you have a list of D's chief of staff main Personnel that helped him out to run the Mal and uh I'm sorry and over there he is considered he is defined as the king's personal councel as there two people there who Reign who have interesting titles and that is is the personal counsel of the king and you have he is considered the personal friend of the king is the advisor and Kushi is the friend and yet from greatness from greatness and from such greatness his end was quite sad from being David's most trusted Confidant and adviser he turned into a traitor he turned into a bed what happened D had a son of shal shom was one of his most charismatic children the tanak goes out of its way to tell us how handsome of Shalom was of shalom in fact kazal say was a na he kept the laws of nerus so he did not cut his hair only once a year so that it shouldn't be so heavy because he kept his and his his apparently his hair locks and his hair was something out of this world it was so appealing it was so attractive but this only matched the Charisma of his personality and his charm and his Gift of Gab the Apple doesn't fall far from the tree he had a father who was obviously an extraordinary extraordinary figure of begins a massive Rebellion against his father a Shalom wants to usurp his father he wants to usurp the throne he wants to take over the M of the Jewish people quickly through very Sly and shrewd methods many of them deceptive and because of the weight of his personality and Charisma of Shalom gar garnered tremendous popular support to the point that he actually mobilized an impressive Army and he forced his father to flee the palace it's one of those sad moments in Shmo Shmo baz when DAV himself has to take his close friends and flee his Palace and his own capital Y Li Jerusalem because of his son because of his son we even have in the beginning of right the song the poem that David sings when he runs away from a his son it's a very very sad moment joins the Rebellion he abandons his master doid and he becomes number one advisor of a aam is of course can't be happy enough to have a man with the wisdom and the Strategic Brilliance of a on his team what led a to this treachery what happened why did he leave David who gave him status and respect and power and appointed him as his personal adviser there are two P different answers that are given in gamar we have an opinion that there's a su sanedrin that deals with this the G says that felt that he was supposed to be king based on his talent based on his Charisma he had an intuition and a feeling that he deserves to be the King after all the king needed him the King was the one who sought his counsel so why he why is he not the king just reminds me of a little story and that is President Bush the father his secretary of state was Baker right huh James Baker so I think I heard him say at his funeral he said that when I would give the president advice and he would say I don't think that's the right way and I would say you're making a mistake he would look at me he would say James so why are you not the president of the United States of America and I'm Secretary of State why are you working for me if your advice is better than mine is the one giving advice he's Y and he's the one Whose advice is compared to Divine advice so he belong he thinks he's the king he felt that if he supports a Shalom the turmoil will be so great there will ultimately be a coup aalam would be dethroned David would be dead of Shalom would be tried for treason and in the chaos there would be one man to take over the throne which means ultimately this is a man who has things figured out he's extremely methodical he's extremely brilliant he's extremely sophisticated and he knows exactly where he's heading as the gamor shows us his he his intuition was not wrong because as we will soon understand he has a great-grandson whose name is SL yeah h no it's the first reason he has a great-grandson who's going to become and he becomes the King after David so is feeling something he's feeling that King sh belongs to him it's just not him it's his it's his grandson it's his great grandson sometimes people feel things and they might be correct but the timing is not right huh yeah yeah yeah that's what it says about you're right he saw yeah you're right yeah in in the med there is another motivation for and for this we have to see one more piece of History if you look in the next Source lists the the mighty Warriors who surrounded DAV who were the top commanders and Generals of David's Army who achieved tremendous military victories and one of them is the son of of gilo whoow so here we see that a had a son Alam now that's extremely interesting because when we scan the tanak the word Alam shows up in one more story where does it show up it shows up in the story of David and basheva in this in the story of David and basheva when David sees Beva and he wonders who she is they tell him B is the daughter of so the that was granddaughter cuz if Al is the son of and is the daughter of Al so this means people got married very young yeah no one second one second people got married very very young so so the says that since A's granddaughter or some say it may even be daughter was Beva Bev was married to another Warrior of David David sent urya to the front lines where he was killed in battle and then married by Chev himself a was seeking revenge and because a was seeking Revenge he decided he's going to join off Shalom and get rid of David when David flees y Li him from a you could see that he's more afraid of a than he's afraid of aom he prays to Hashem to corrupt the advice of Toom because he knows how powerful is but he doesn't only pray he has a best friend called Kushi he takes Kushi and he sends him as a spy into a shalom's camp because Kushi was so close with d just like a was if he could go into a shalom's camp and make believe he's also a traitor who betrayed David and they will accept him so he can perhaps figure out ways of frustrating the Council of and protecting so now you have who joined and who supposedly joined of Shalom but was really a spy of his friend as David runs away gives of shom two pieces of advice both pieces of advice are clearly in the tanak this is and Z chapters 16 and 17 the first piece of advice was ingenious in its brutality it's not going to be comfortable to hear it but I'm just quoting the tanak so please don't get upset at me you can get upset at a if you want uh but this this is a clear story in the tanak and you'll have I'll explain to you why he gave this piece of advice or at least what it [Music] seems I'm going to quote the story and uh I'll translate it this is this is's words he tells of Shalom I think you should have intimate relations with your father's paction with your father's concubines those that he left to keep the house and the pal is going you should engage with them all of the Jewish people will hear that you are abhor by your father and then the hands of all that are with you will be strengthened and the tanak says of Shalom heeded his advice he spread a tent over the roof of the palace and with everybody's knowledge and awareness he had relations with the concubines of DAV what was the point of you see until that point the supporters of a were worried that maybe a will one day wake up with compassion towards his father he's a child and maybe he's going to back down from the Revolt now maybe David will forgive his son but he won't forgive everybody who helped his son and therefore their fate is going to be destined to a tragic end so felt nobody can really go with shom with their full heart CU everybody is worried if aom himself is going to regret it one day and the game will be over and everybody will be killed so wanted a to do something from which there was no turning back to prove to the Jewish people that he didn't only abore his father he completely severed every last court from his father to the point of betraying his father in the most intimate and promiscuous way and in the most repulsive and abominable way so this act of public publicly disgracing not just David's throne but David's intimate intimate life made the break between Father and Son absolute it severed the cords completely so this was an ugly and political move that proved how serious of Shalom was in his treachery that his intentions were absolutely genuine there was no turning back a Shalom was beyond the point of return and this secured him the support of everybody who wanted David's downfall and anybody who supported him Ambiguously and half-heartedly and everybody who wanted to see David gone they were now fully supporting of Shalom this was the first piece of advice of there was a second piece of advice said you have 12,000 men with you right now let's pursue D immediately why he just escaped J he's exhausted his people are exhausted they're demoralized the king just left his epicenter they're on the they're on the Run what would happen they wouldn't prepare for this attack so 12,000 people would come David's people would escape and I will kill David this was a second piece of advice to a Shalom he said David is weak David is is tired he's weary I will startle him and all the people that are with him will flee and I will kill the king we can Now understand why he himself wants to kill the king if he wants to take revenge for what he feels was such an injustice done to B which do a lot of as thei describes with and Dav fasted for decades afterwards but he wanted to kill killik I have here in the source Street some of the some of the quotes of the story and uh you could read it if you want but this is the point a shalam likes the sound of this piece of advice as well game will be over David will be dead but aom decides for such a piece of advice I need to get for such a move I need to get somebody else's advice so Whose advice does he now seek Kushi before making this decision of actually going and killing his father he asks Kushi for advice Kushi remember was David's friend sent as a spy to foil the plot knows is Right strategically is right this is the time to get do it you know get them when they're down when somebody's in despair when somebody's down when somebody's weak that's when you kill them that's when you get them and their people will run that's what he knows but because he's a spy He suggests the opposite he plays on a shalom's arrogance and confidence in his popularity So He suggests better to do a differently gather a massive Army much more than 12,000 people you can get all the Jews from done in the north all the way to Beba in the South get the whole nation together will March methodically and slowly on David's Army and the sheer Mass numbers will obviously cause doid to escape causes people to escape will capture doid and get rid of him aalam accepts kushi's advice this gives D time to reorganize himself to reformulate his strategy to reorganize his people David's life is saved of shalom was killed in the ensuing battle David returns to his throne when David heard about aam's death it's the whole story in tanak exactly how he died David cannot console himself he cries aom b b b eight times my son my son my son to the point that his General says if you continue doing this you're going to destroy everything because people sacrificed their life to come with you against him and now you're busy supporting him this is just simply going to mobilize all of your enemies but for David it's a terrible P personal defeat and loss it's his own son of Shalom had infallible political acuteness an Acumen he he got it he knew that the moment of Shalom failed to heed his advice and go attack right now of sham just signed his own death certificate knew that he knew DAV will prevail and he knew the first person who would be killed would be a for his treason and therefore he turns to his last resort which is Rec pre-calculated suicide this is what does now I want you to see these few CU these become critical if you turn over to the second side this is all the advice that a gives those days the advice that he gives when people come to him for an it's like a person is asking for the word of Hashem that's how they see the device of sees it that way and of sees it that way the continues also there and the people with him said advice is better than we're not going to attack right away with 12,000 people we'll first build a massive Army and then go to D and this was the way of Hashem ultimately annulling the advice of which would make of shom Triumph and this concludes this part of the story when he saw that his counsel was not followed he saddled his donkey he rose he went back home he went back to his City and he gave his last his last Testament and will to his family and he strangled himself and he died and he was buried in the in the in the cave in the section that was dedicated to the family where his father was that's the end of A's life so this was not a friend Act of Madness this was not a sudden panic attack or an overwhelming emotional experience that just destroyed his mind it seems like it was patient it was deliberate he could give a sa before he came home he had a reason for it he understood exactly what's happening he realized the tide turned the trajectory of his life would be horrible he would just be the traitor of the the traitor who betrayed the king he would be killed anyway this was calculated and the tanak clearly says there was a it wants us to know that gave before he died he didn't just die he gave it what did he tell them doesn't say but it's not irrelevant to the story it could just say he killed himself but it wants us to know there was a why why does it want us to know because there was something decided to share before his death now knowing his history we can assume that this T is important from all of his life's experiences and he had a lot of experience the head of the Sanhedrin the advisor Chief advisor of David Chief advisor of sholom father or grandfather of of of basheva now you understand why there was Mal in his family because came from his family came from bash is bash's daughter born from bashev and D but this man with all of his experience and now he decided to take his life so at this point he's telling something to his family we are eager to know what is he telling them so like always in the tan you have and you have States the facts but there's a lot of missing gaps a lot of missing links I told you once the relation between medish and and or like the relationship of Harmony when you have a song and you have the harmony of a song if you sit down at a piano and you're like you got all the keys right right but you're not staging a concert the next night you got this song right what's missing that's what is for that's what Med is for you have the song you have the facts but you want the full resonance the impact the harmony that's why right in the beginning we quoted the gar bazal had a tradition what he told them now we come back to the T so you remember he told them three things what were the three things number one don't get involved in oh genius number two don't rebel against Mal B nice number three if the weather on sh is Gish it's so good that he can even walk an hour to come to the tent to listen to the shu's class that means the next day you got to plant wheat so now we have the context don't rebel against Mal I understand he is regretting his part in the Rebellion but now we come back to the questions first of all is there an underlying theme between these three don't get involved in don't rebel against the weather on is nice plant wheat is there a theme that connects these three or they're completely disjointed you would think if this is his final saah his last statement to his family there probably an underlying thing especially if he's considered the most brilliant man who lived at the time and not only that the one person that the tanak Compares his advice to Godly advice and who turned into his greatest advisor number two don't get involved in don't rebel against is that a repetition is it not a repetition if you're not getting involved in any certainly not against but somehow he specifies that number three the Third piece of advice seems very very out of uh context and also not in sync with what's happening I mean right before he died after such a chaotic life after such treason after such intensity I understand he's telling them stay away from AAS live peaceful lives don't get involved with things I got involved in but did he suddenly become an agricultural expert I guess if you're brilliant in everything you're brilliant in farming too right farming obviously is is the staple of life that's how you eat but but it's like V like what are you talking about suddenly and what does it even mean if the weather on shu is clear you should plant wheat and if it's raining on sh don't plant wheat we're going to starve next year we're going to eat sushi what are we going to do we're going to eat Chinese food they weren't eating Chinese food at the time or Japanese food maybe they were I just don't know about it they say there was a chinan debating with a Jew which civilization is older said the Jew said we're 5,000 years old Chinese said we're 4,000 years old he said it can't be the Jew said why said what do you guys eat for a th000 years he said we ate from the Tree of knowledge but in any case what's this idea suddenly plant wheat what does it even mean is this just some spiritual astronomical Heavenly Omen that if the weather is nice it's somehow a sign that the wheat crop is going to be sometimes the weather is not I mean we all hope the weather is nice and I also hope it's nice the day after then you plant wheat and if not there's no planting wheat and then the gar goes in over there afterwards to a discussion how you know if it's going to be a good crop the next year or not but this was A's advice and his third piece of advice what is the meaning of all of this what also disturbs us about this gamar is understanding the moment in history you're talking about an uproar this was the middle of a civil war literally he he committed suicide in the middle of a civil war he just checked out he avoided the issues he's about to strangle himself that's a tragedy you're not all to do that and at this point he had Das do you really have nothing better to say than a farming tip about planting wheat and if your children don't know how to farm so then go back to the basics say come out to the Garden let me teach you how to farm and this is his third message and it's the final message coming from the most brilliant Jew of the day Whose advice was seen as second only to God himself you're following the trajectory of this class we started off with learning from somebody one letter DAV learning from two things bilad a that didn't seem to make sense we went to his final will we went to his story and now we come back what were the two things that David learned from the mission doesn't say he learned two things he asked him advice maybe about thousands of things but that's not called the two things he learned from him that was political advice military advice economic advice but in to he learned from him two things so kazal say rash quotes other qu in that once saw walking into the B Med to learn spent most of his day learning and the gor says that he woke up each night at midnight there was a harp that was hanging above the bed of David and when midnight came r a northern wind began hit the harp and music came out because the chords were struck by the wind and d right away woke up and the rest of the night he spent learning in the morning now he was a king they would come to him and they would say the Jews have to eat and David would give them advice and before they did it they went to so once he was walking into the B he was walking in to learn and saw him walking which means with an upright St he was standing he was walking in an erect fashion and told them that's not how you're supposed to walk into the bism you should walk in in a humble fashion that was one piece of advice he told them the second thing he told him is David was learning alone and he told David the way to be successful in learning is you have to learn with others not yourself those were the that D learned from and he respected him forever because of it he called him of course later he became his greatest traitor he became his enemy but he never forgot that he learned these two things from him and he called him in the cap to where he prays for his own salvation from but he still calls him my teacher so how do we put this all together how do we understand this so the truth is that the the last the final will and testament of as we would expect is an extremely reflective message of the story of his life it's a Tav that comes precisely from everything that he learned and it's three points that parallel to three Arenas of human life there are three Arenas of human ambition generally speaking of course each one of them is subdivided into many details and branches and nuances but there are three Arenas in which human creativity and Ambitions are materialized there are three fields that human beings see as truly valuable and worth investing time energy resources and devoting one's life to I believe most of our goals or at least many of our goals and dreams can be placed in one of three categories and it's defined also in there are three crowns this is earlier in says there are three crowns you remember Mal crown of T the crown of priesthood the crown of royalty but what does this mean in a broader context when you say a crown it's not just the physical crown that a king puts on his head King Trump was coronated on chabas and they placed a crown on his head it's a crown that was used already by William in the 11th century mazeltov that's one type of crown but a crown you say this person is Crown it's not a physical Crown the didn't wear a crown he wore a hat a MB but there are crowns when we say a crown it's the Apex the Zenith of achievement that a person develops within themselves and something I want to devote myself to it's something I seek to obtain and be crowned crowned by success crowned by this quality by this virtue one element is one Arena of human ambition is wisdom Discovery information knowledge this is in a broader sense the crown of it says it's the source of your wisdom and understanding to all the nations it's the ultimate or as it says in looked into and from this he built the world which means it's the blueprint of the world so it's the ultimate information and wisdom not just about Jewish law or history but also ultimately about everything in reality in the world so one goal is to be crowned with a crown of knowledge wisdom study Academia Discovery depth there is the of the served in the B they were the spiritual ambassadors of the Jewish people and this is the goal or developing the art and the sensitivity of spirituality service dedication self-improvement refinement personal growth emotional growth Psych iCal growth spiritual growth the connection to God and to your higher deeper Consciousness a person could live their whole life in a very base space and I could live in an immature space I could live in a very egotistical space I can live in a very very primitive or Petty place I'm just trying to survive which is what every living creature tries to do AV is really the inner work of growth looking for truth looking for [Music] authenticity the word carbus comes from the word kiru which means close we translate carbonis as sacrifices but that's not an accurate translation the word carbonis comes from the word close there's a difference between sacrificing yourself and becoming close you know the difference it's two versions of Judaism and the says in which is theer of grammatically it should have said a person from among you should offer says and the explanation is the first person I want to bring Clos is not an animal Meb begins with internal personal intimate work that's the second Crown the crown of spirituality and then there's K malus the crown of leadership influence power the crown of royalty most of people's goals goes in either I'm looking for wisdom or I'm trying to refine myself or I want to exercise my talents my gifts malus leadership influence power could be in a big way or in a small way every father and mother are Kings are are are leaders we're leaders for our families we're leaders in our communities we try to be leaders for ourselves that's a hard one that's the element of malus some people's malus can extend in larger ways in broader ways but this is the element of of utilizing my personality my talents my gifts my skills subtle and those that are more spiritual more refined those that are more practical whatever it is every person's life in order to exercise Mala influence three destinations Tyra Kahuna and malos but all these three have two different paths to reach them there's two different railroads there's two different Pathways two different as they say in Hebrew Kim two different highways or roads that lead there the two roads are very very different chose one road poet once said two roads diverged in the forest and I I took the One Less Traveled by and that made all the difference who Frost okay this is when in bakov they used to learn Frost huh you could see which generation knows the poem huh you also learned Shakespeare didn't you you got tasted on Shakespeare right you can even quote Hamlet okay I won't tell anybody I won't tell your granddaughter don't worry I won't tell your granddaughter just a joke just a [Music] joke there are three great goals wisdom spirituality leadership a had one path he achieved all three in some ways almost I should say and right before he died he gave a fascinating T to his children about all three and that's why he speaks about three things the first sa is about kunun the second sa is about K malos and the third sa is about like all of kazal they have embedded sometimes in one line infinite layers of significance and you have to decipher it but when you decipher it a whole new world comes up and here is the one big trap in life and it's the Trap that a did not escape and so many brilliant people do not Escape it in simple English it's the Trap called the ego but the ego is much more subtle and complex than we imagine we we all imagine an ego as a big Sinister monster somebody walks into a room and says I'm the most good-looking I'm the smartest I'm the brightest I'm superior to all you all be you all be my slaves that ego most of us know how to deal with cu the ego is very smart and very bright the ego's issue is it comes camouflaged in so many different types of ways even in humility the ego could be camouflaged as humility as guilt as shame as anxiety as depression the ego could come camouflaged as a Burden Burden a heavy burden the ego could come camouflaged as deep deep self-doubt doesn't sound like an ego sounds like I'm the most humble person in the world I'm always anxious where do you get such humble people in the world and this is not the ego that we're blaming or judging we're identifying cuz the moment we start judging and blaming the ego that's usually coming from the ego cuz one of the best things to do to secure that my ego remains intact is if I shame myself I blame myself I judge myself wow the ego says good good let's do this again let's do it again so it's important that when we talk about this we don't fall into the Trap of the ego talking about the problem of the ego cuz as long as you're talking about that somebody said write anything you want about me in the newspaper whatever you want just spell my name right that's it I just need the publicity as long as people know I exist write whatever you want you can write whatever you want just get that name right when people Google it the story should come up you have to be very careful because when we talk about these things it sometimes comes from that very place as long as you're talking about me it's good bash me but just talk about me and remain stuck with me what does it really mean the idea of ego the idea of ego is and it's not an easy thing to always deal with because it's a survival mechanism ego is a survival mechanism and the survival mechanism of ego is I have to be able to rely on myself in order to survive I have to rely on my survival skills as a lonely detached isolated human being whatever that means in a person's life but it becomes a survival skill that does not allow me to experience myself as a conduit for Infinity in the truth of reality the egoic mind just disturbs me it undermines me the egoic heart that's a word egoic it's a good word the egoic heart just creates static and interference whenever I need to retreat into my isolation it can look like anger it can look like crazy worry crazy self-doubt even guilt which seems sometimes religious and holy what it does is it keeps me stuck in a place of isolation and tremendous fear when a person is aligned with reality what does it mean to be aligned with reality means that everyone and everything is part of Oneness it's part of harm Harmony I'm a conduit for the light of Hashem to flow through me that includes my mind my talents my skills my resources my body my soul it doesn't make me less powerful it actually makes me all powerful because it's a conduit it for the source of everything those who are learning some of your husbands I know finishing there's also a by some to learn through because that's 49 Pages corresonding the 49 days the end of the Mish the M re when rebi died Butler humility died with him when reab yudi died humility died with him that's the mishna so the gar this the last words of said delete the word humility died when rebi died you know why I am here I am am here Rashi says and I'm humble and I am Shani an I am humble don't say humility died I am here wow interesting huh interesting imagine a person was considered one of the greatest sages of his day he's called SII he's called in hus he's SI he's sini cuz they said like Ci has the whole he had the whole ter in him he couldn't also he was was he was an extraordinary figure and he said by the way you think I'm only a genius I'm humble too imagine somebody getting up like one of the one of the greatest getting up by the way if you think there's no humble people you're a for a bad mistake all you got to do is look at the person talking to you and if I would do this every week how many of you would come back like the guy needs help fine go find help even if you believe it don't say it there are people who actually believe it I got it but they're smart enough not to say it right not only he says it the gamor puts it in in other words even if he said it the gor put it's the end of no no yeah but do you see what's happening do you see that maybe we don't understand what humility is right we think humility I think humility is even if I believe it don't say it why be smart you got to say things that people will for him being humble and saying it had no was completely not arrogant it says mha was the humblest person in the world now I want to ask you is that practical mha didn't know that he was the only one chosen to be the greatest prophet in history we think sometimes humility means if I'm tall say I'm short at least I lie if I'm beautiful I say nah I'm ugly if my food is delicious I say nah of course your food is delicious you're the best cooking m i don't mean you I mean my wife you're the second to the best cooking myy it's not a joke by the way it's EMS that's why I look how I look don't you see you think you think it comes some restaurants you think it comes from my humility says he was actually says I given F from from the pleasure of was equivalent to my carbs I also say but I can't blame it on that I would like to I could blame it on other stuff humility doesn't mean that if I'm if a person has a special gift M knew who he was how did he stand up to told you're exalted you're arrogant you have an ego everybody is Holy you would think mosha would say okay yeah you're right I'm sorry he's the humblest guy he stood up he said let the Earth open up if I'm wrong if I'm arrogant what happened to your humility humility doesn't mean you don't know who you are humility means you know who you really are even your humility is a gift had a skill for humility it was a gift M knew that his soul was a unique Soul it was a gift from Hashem and he was a conduit for that gift and he may have even thought that if somebody else had his resources and talents they may have even maximized it more so of course he knew who he was and when you know who you are you're responsible to live up to who you are nobody gains by people eclipsing their own light I don't solve the homeless by moving out of my house and becoming homeless nobody grows from other people saying oh I'm nothing I don't have anything on the contrary said true humility does not mean I don't know it and I can't say it he was really humble authentic humility means I could know every skill and talent I have and even blessings that are rear in the world but who does it belong to how do I see myself what do I do with them yes cindel but um didn't very good question very good question when Hashem told mosha to go to par he said me who am I and that's the point he was a really humble person and then Hashem said you're right I'm coming with you that was the moment of transformation because he said that he could be the person you understand there was never a moment that Mosa's power got to his head and I'm like yeah not bad for a little Egyptian kid all these guys went to Yeshiva they went through the system they got the best I had fun my whole life I was in the palace and look where I am today you [Laughter] understand it's like they NE had to work through and they went through fighting with their mothers and their teachers and this MOA never had that's why he told the Jews what are we you're fighting with me as though I have an agenda here as though this is about me what when it's not about me when it's truly not about me I could become a channel for everything because it's not manipulative it's not exploitive it's authenticity the says about M he says I will give you rain I will give you rain is speaking the answer is speaks through his mouth and this becomes the last line of which is learned ER right before is the 49th day of as we'll soon see how it's expressed in's Third Commandment so we talk about ego I could go to become spiritual kuna I'm looking for the crown of wisdom but there's an ego there I want the wisdom I want the information you have scientists who dedicate their life to knowledge but there's sometimes a little ego there and when you disagree with them oh God protect you you would think if I'm truly dedicated to science all I'm looking for is the truth so if you disagree with me I should celebrate it I should really be curious but it's very difficult it's a trap I am the smart person I am the intelligent person I know it it could come in many different ways including I'm just a humble genius until you really disagree with me until you trigger me we say to we see today in society in America there debates about some serious issues I tolerate everybody and everything besides those who disagree with me where somebody wrote on a t-shirt I'm easy to get along with once you learn to worship [Music] me it's a generation of Tolerance we tolerate everything every view every perspective every inclination every emotion besides if you have a different opinion if you believe something is wrong what maybe they have a different opinion disagree disagree no your opinion is evil what about tolerance that maybe the other person is not evil maybe they have a different perspective that's where arrogance Creeps in sometimes in very explicit or implicit ways which is sometimes more dangerous the same is true with spirituality and here it's harder to decipher spirituality is about personal work personal refinement that can also become arrogant I am Superior I have the knowledge there are people who took Journeys interesting Journeys to recovery and self-awareness and then they look at the masses you're all petty idiots I am the enlightened sophisticated prophet of God even healing can become arrogant somebody once told me he's in 12-step program for many many many years and I said what's the hardest thing and he says the arrogance when I talk to people who are in addiction and the arrogance I know the truth I worked on myself it becomes another trap which literally takes me away from real healing because it takes me away from the source whenever you're aligned with the source you don't need arrogance not because not because you don't want Power cuz you have real cuz you're real cuz you're connected when you're aligned with the source when you're plugged into the source of light all the light is coming through you arrogance is a compensation for a void when I'm suffering from insecurity deep down I need to compensate it and substitute it with validation when I don't get love I need validation validation means I need you and you and you and you and you to tell me after the class how amazing I am remember and even when you compliment somebody you ever did they say oh no need but nobody ever took anybody to A din or to court because of a compliment they'll tell you no need but nobody will sue you for it now it certainly feels good to get them but we have to realize when a person is aligned you're in a different space you're in a different Zone you're part of a flow I once asked somebody a performer in Carnegie Hall great pianist I said how do you know that the concert is successful he says when I'm in middle of Performing and I don't feel that I am present I don't feel myself that's when I know my fingers became a channel for the music if I'm sitting by the piano and I'm thinking they like me they don't like me you think they're going to invite me again you think I could charge more next time why is that person texting while I'm giving a class oh you also don't like me it's normal these are all normal emotions I'm trying to place myself in this world and feel that I matter but but I'm completely in a defensive place it's like a neb situation all ego is neb ego stands for easing god out now it's hard to be aligned it could be threatening because if I don't feel connected vus means you're one you're one with the source when you're one with the source you don't need validation you have the greatest validation you are you're connected it's flowing through me it's flowing through you compliments are still good to give feedback as important because you want to know how to correct things so I'm I'm not knocking feedback I Al I like feedback and compliments certainly feel better then that was horrible what you said was heresy I'm never coming back to it happens once in a while more with the men than with the women but h a little more tactful sometimes a little more smart sometimes a little more authentic I just gave validation come on okay the truth it's the truth very good no she's honest like rabf you're humble you're humble I get it I get it you can hear it you could hear somebody say I'm humble and you can hear the humility and you can hear somebody say I'm arrogant and you can hear the arrogance you know the difference somebody who's saying I'm arrogant it's a form of self-blame and guilt and attracting attention to myself even negative attention RF when he said I'm humble was actually very pure it was actually saying I have a to be a channel for hashem's humility CU his eye was connected to the source of eye eye doesn't mean arrogance depends which eye it is is it my insecure eye or is it my grand eye so now let's come back to was brilliant a was creative a was a genius but unfortunately a could not escape the Trap of his ego and therefore there was always self-interest there was manipulation there was exploitation he did not have that ability he never worked on himself to the point of becoming a true conduit true B which means true alignment t writes in in and more places was a gone but his T was missing the real sense of awe his brain became the epicenter became the focus and he saw what it led to he saw what it led to and he decided to end a life there were people who ended their life in a calculated fashion because they realized the alternative is just going to be horrific let me kill myself and that's what he did he strangled himself but before he did he cared for his children so he told them three things the says the source of all is it says is considered the theor learns out from it don't be like from here you learn hold on K represents the epitome of M what was k k is very logical he told mha everybody is Holy why are you exalted what was the difference between K and M K had an arrogance mosha was humble so he was telling his children as you achieve the crown of priesthood don't make that mistake of needs to be cultivated with humility not with arrogance if I'm becoming the god L and I'm becoming Superior to everybody else and I got it all and I'm Mr smart and I'm and I'm a spiritual too I defeat it I defeat the very purpose and I become alienated again it's a survival skill was a great Survivor but survival skills don't put you in the realm of Eternity survival simply means I'm trapped in my ego just to survive but I'm not living my life broadly extensively there's no expans of Consciousness cuz I'm just trying to survive I'm always in a protective mode cuz I'm alone I'm in survival I'm disconnected the second thing what was the uniqueness of David what set David apart from a from from and the answer of David when you look through David was a warrior he was a powerful man sha was afraid of David when DAV killed Gus and the girls were saying smokee the thousands and David the myriads TR got scared David was a powerful powerful human being physically and spiritually but at the core David was completely completely nullified to God the asks sha committed one sin and he lost the kingship David committed more than one the answer is when sha made a mistake Andi confronted him about killing aik Sha justif IED himself he rationalized when confronted about said two words I sined and for the rest of his life he was doing chva you read and you read T and you're not sure it's the same person and is a mighty ferocious Warrior inim read The Poetry of the pain he's dealing with the trauma the Brokenness I'm a worm I'm Not a Human Being I'm disgrace to the people and he says I feel like my soul is a little infant in the bosom of its mother that's how D felt that's not how Warriors speak that's not how Napoleon spoke that's not how jengus Khan spoke that's not how ciglia or Julius Caesar spoke that's not how the tyrants in our generation spoke you're a fighter David was the one who United the the Jewish people he created the capital 3,000 years ago his power was a he was a conduit in his power his power wasn't egotistical narcissistic manipulative his power was the power of the Divine flowing through him then you could be all powerful it's not an issue told David bend down your head when you come into the B Med how funny for when you're standing upright you're Mr ego D bend down you're in the b m what didn't understand was that when you're really connected the ego standing upright having an erect stature does not undermine your relationship confidence doesn't mean you're not connected on the contrary depends whose confidence is it is he told DAV learn learn with people you can't learn alone he doesn't understand understand when a king is protecting boundaries it's not ego it's actually kindness if you're plugged into the source of electricity and electricity flows through you if you allow people to pull out that plug you're not being nice you're causing the whole world to become dark if a person is deeply connected I can't just you can't just compromise those boundaries and let anybody become the ultimate schmoozer and let anybody's energy go in if that causes me to have the plug disconnected the world becomes dark in that sense boundaries become holy either you're humble or you're egotistical the Oneness doesn't exist the ability of to say at the end of says the is the one who lifted up the oil of cha yoke of you have it here in your Source sheets for him all his power was a conduit and then he gave the third piece of advice the third piece of advice in many ways is the punchline if the weather on shu is clear plant wheat and the he we'll see the depth of how we have to understand the kazal wheat was always distinguished as human food says animals would eat barley humans would eat meat wheat I know today things have changed no sophisticated nutrition will tell you to eat wheat only barley barley kernels barley juice nor barley maybe we're beham today I don't know but it used to be that men people ate wheat animals ate barley is the word is the numerical value of 22 is eight Tess is nine and hey is five 22 corresponding to the 22 letters of the alphabet why because the gar says in the tree of knowledge was not an apple tree it was wheat and the gor says over there the child starts saying TTI and Mommy when it starts eating Doug when it starts eating wheat or grain that's when the child has enough wisdom and D to say so is also a metaphor for human food what distinguishes a person from an animal our ability for wisdom and speech and creative intelligence and Science and curiosity and inquisitiveness to ask questions like why we here and who we are and how are we created and what's the meaning of things the animal focuses on survival and the human being is a creature the human being is the element of is the element of that's why the tree of knowledge is called corresponding to 22 22 letters of the Hebrew alphabet which is the DNA of creation hasm created the world withes so the is the wisdom of 22 finding the 22 letters which make up the chemistry of the universe you're with me okay was telling his children you want to plant wheat great make sure the weather on shuis is clear make sure if the energy of shuis is sparkling clear it's not just the weather outside is nice that's also a good thing like today even though I'm sweating buckets cuz I'm not outside and the air condition is not on okay about that if the energy of shu is sparkling clear if the light ofu is shining the rashbam says over there borrow is from the word tahiru light if the light of sh is shining then your wheat will grow successfully and well what does this mean what does it mean the light of sh what happened on sh it's not that the Jewish people decided to start discovering wisdom at that time the gor says had they observed all of the T before it was given the Jews were learning T from marish were Traditions deep traditions and the yes of Shame and yes of a and Jakob sat and learned by sh 14 years before that he learned with 63 years he leared with 15 years and throughout the even the time in Egypt K said there was Yesa Jews were learning in fact shavit Ley wasn't working they were learning there was a lot of wisdom that was transmitted from generation to Generation The Generation so the Patriarchs the matriarchs and generations of Jews till har learned they had wisdom what happened on what happened Hari was the Jewish people accepted they accepted the Yoke of T they entered into a covenant with they entered into a commitment a commitment that's based on conviction for example you have people for example let's talk about dating so you have dating people those communities where they date and you get to know each other and in certain certain segments of society people date for how long years years I know somebody dating for 18 years of course not dating for 18 years Hal it's a good qu Ali people would date after they get married it would be a very nice thing you know why it's a good thing try it out cuz after you're married when you date and your spouse says something instead of like wow interesting tell me more that's such an interesting perspective curiosity Amusement you also talk about nothing at dates it's wonderful talk about nothing but everybody understands with all the beauty of dating the commitment is not there which is why people sometimes date for years commitment is about alignment it's the conviction that we're connected we become one like it says in Z two halves of one Soul the first marriage which describ they become one flesh what happened at at the med says was it was a marriage it was considered a marriage it was a like a the Jewish people said before that's what happened at what's the idea of Nas before nishma Nas before nishma doesn't mean you're going to be blind and foolish but everybody knows what does it mean to enter into a marriage with somebody to enter a marriage means that I need my wife to write down on a list everything she's going to need for 75 years who can do that and how that's not what it means it means you become committed to a person there's enough you know enough about this person that you trust me and I trust you that whatever comes up will be able to be here for each other I don't know what's who knows what's going to come anybody knows what's going to come up in life you know what your kids are going to look like you know what you're going to look like you know what your spouse is going to look like you know what life is going to look like maybe you know what your shrier is going to look like mine yours also and even that you probably don't know means we're in a relationship we're one we're connected there is love there is trust automatically whatever happens I'm here I'm in that's what it means to be in alignment to be in alignment means I don't go out of that relationship I remain in that space ofus if I'm stuck in my ego it's not a relationship it's all on my terms if you say somebody tells their spouse by the way this marriage is going to work only if you say something that works with my ego some people do it and their marriage looks a certain way so tells his children if you want your wheat to grow well if you want real it's human food if you want your philosophy and you want your wisdom and you want your Brilliance and you want your Genius you want your creativity to grow well to be productive to be real to be aligned with authenticity make sure that your is clear that you're really aligned that the ego is out of the way that you're truly truly seeking the truth you really want to be connected and it's not just I want to be connected it's the inner work of opening myself up to that type of a relationship that's what really means that's what nishma means then the wheat will be satiating a mind left to its own devices can come up with the most perverted and grotesque ideas all justified in the name of rationality a mind that has an ego in it it's full of blind spots and can become narcissistic and self-serving who knew that as well as a the man whose advice was so brilliant it was like Divine advice and yet threw him into the abyss because he planted a lot of wheat but it was not with the Y that gave it that light and they gave it that Clarity so when he gives us three tavas to his family he's speaking about K Kahuna ker malus and CRA he knew it now he knew it now hindsight he knew it now 2020 hindsight and that's why the gamorra puts it in why does the gamorra put it in why does the BK tell us he gave a because these words are Priceless lessons coming from a true man of Brilliance and Renown and experience in all three he was spiritually brilliant and profound he was politically brilliant and profound he was a leader he was a royal he thought he he deserves to be the king and he was in wisdom he was brilliant and profound inun in Mal and inra he achieved all three crowns and yet he lost them all oh very good and that's why the mishna continues the crown of a good name what do you mean the crown of a good name what's a good name that on WhatsApp they say nice things about me it's a good think means something much deeper the crown of a good name means that all of the achievements of a person are based on goodness they're based on goodness they're based on realness they're based on truth was called sh they call the B the B the master of a good name what does it mean you have a good name a lot of people have good names it's good to have a good name better than having a bad name a good name means you're become a conduit for hashem's name you become a conduit for theame and that's literally what a real good name means a good name means doesn't mean you could be a it could be a m it's not what you are it's what's behind it all they could be a simple person with a shame Ty they could be a brilliant person but they don't have that shame Ty the question is not what I'm doing and where I'm and what I'm involved in the question is what's really at the core of it am I in adus or am I separate am I detached so is telling his children let your creativity soar reach for the heavens dance till the end of of the world and Beyond let your mind Blossom let your individuality shine let your wisdom grow let your royalty emerge in its full power and light but ensure that it's all coming from a place of Oneness a place of alignment a place ofus a place of B and then they will become lighthouses let your sh be clear your wheat will grow beautifully therefore you won't fight against Mal David and you won't make the mistake of K when it comes to the crown of kahuna based on all this let's come back full circle you remember to the bulad now you'll understand the bad and here's the key with the B says gal he say every why why should I respect somebody for teaching me one letter in t one word in t the answer is it's t it's holy wisdom but the B says every word of every of because it comes from it comes from Infinity therefore it's never really one word it's infinite words just like in the human being in we have around 50 trillion cells in our bodies in each cell you have a double copy of the gum in the jum you have the DNA which is the manual and the blueprint of how the whole body is built the DNA is found in every element of the body in every cell you have a double copy of the jum you can have a strand of hair you can have it in the saliva you can have it in the nail anywhere in the body you have the so when to when you find when you're connected to the essence of to which is any point of leads you to the whole T like whenever you grab on to the core of something you can grab on the smallest part you have everything if I grab on to my skin I just have a piece of skin which is nice but if you can get to the DNA in every in the molecule of the DNA you have the entire organism the entire body it's fascinating I it's a one strand of here I it's saliva I it's a tiny little piece of the body but if you touch the it has everything so essentially in t every of T is connected to the whole T every point of T is infinite so if it's infinite it gives perspective on everything else everything is connected everything is interrelated everything is interconnected that's if you're connected to the core of T but if T is about the ego it's it's only two things it's only two things that's it it is that was it was and I'm going to show it to you this word what did this word bva do for us in this class it was one word but what did it bring us to do you see the word bad did it was one word but what did it bring us to it brought us to the whole life of the death of the how you have to live how you have to work on yourself so you see one word in thir is not one word one word in thir is infinite if you're connected to the DNA but was egotistical so it's only two things he only taught him two things it stop the buck stops here because ego is always limited that's that's the very good ego is always as big as it is it can't be bigger whenever I'm in a place of ego why does the ego always need validation because it doesn't really have anything so every day I need more and more and more and more compliments it's like addictions why if I'm an addict and I want alcohol why am I always drinking you drank already the answer is cuz I'm not looking for the alcohol I have a void I'm not complete so whatever I have is not enough it's all limited I'm looking for something that I can only find in Infinity so it remains limited if it's rooted if it's plugged into the source of life it's connected to everything it's literally connected to everything it's never about one it's also about one but that brings you it shines a light on everything else m like the DNA in a person that's the when he learned he still showed him respect because it was even if it came through and it came through the mind and when you're learning from somebody who is like you your colleague who is not one letter for sure you have to respect him because that one letter is actually a portal and a Vista to the whole t to the Infinity of T that's why he doesn't say he only says by the so that's the he learned this and what did will teach him don't walk in with an erect stature be humble imagine who was teaching D about [Music] humility that was his problem he didn't understand you could be erect and confident and humble for him it was Two Worlds learn with somebody else you can't protect your boundaries always give and give and give and be there with somebody else cuz for him individuation means ego so therefore right at the end of when you prepare for the last page right before what does say I'm here and I'm humble right before mat once you're coming to mat what happened by mat by mat the Jew experience not the wisdom but the alignment the you're aligned with the source now you could declare I'm humble just like of course I'm humble because my humility too is a gift from the Divine my humility too is a channel when I say I am humble I'm a channel for hashem's humility that shines through me have a wonderful and beautiful week next Tuesday we will have a class next Tuesday 9:30 a.m. we will have a class and as I said shuis night 1: a.m. in tth gimmel and the second day of shuis 6:30 p.m. in t giml right here everybody is invited last We There was D and [Laughter] basheva yes inability to change was his decision correct suicide is there ever a time when it is correct are other people suici saying he was beyond hope is what you said he wasn't able to he wasn't here in a mat that he could overcome his challenges there is a point that's of no return there is I'm just wondering it says but this is how he decided to do it maybe it was correct we don't know can I give you this sure it's a whole different situation there's a suicide the person is in a moment of insanity or they're suffering Terri yeah then there's different the point is ladas it's pre-calculated and most of the time today uh it's seen as differently it's a discussion today like right right yeah you're welcome thank you for coming oh humil yeah thank you is this it wasn't it didn't no so that's the that's the that's the if even taught him two things and only two things cuz his tit didn't multiply still do showed respect so when you're learning from your friend even one letter for sure said oh I shouldn't have him respect no he always showed him respect cuz he taught him TIY to them to things of those two were really not they were they were it up no he was have what you're doing fine no you should walk humble but didn't understand he was that he was humble's title was true you should learn with other people the says to learn and you should walk humble but it wasn't a contradiction there's certain moments that a person needs you have to be a wreck that's not a contradiction to TA same TR same thing so you don't it's a true V generally we're much more successful in learning when we have a say when a person learns alone it's much more difficult cuz the feedback the relationship the accountability the back and forth but there's certain souls and certain people and certain times that learn alone huh there certain people who didn't have kusus because it wouldn't have done them [Music] well no but the the idea is true the idea is true the question is when and where it was so good to that last line from it brought Clarity I remember growing up I remember which say how could a person say but it was the truth very good I don't remember a real person could say I never lied yeah yeah and then another story that I remember was the that he would look at something and the disee would go away no the teach would like he always These Eyes Are Holy yeah and I used to think like what do you mean right that was the truth yeah yeah if you're really plugged in you could it's it's not a contradiction beautiful yeah thank you you're welcome oh welcome Ma Ma beautiful okay thank you for coming yeah where do you live ohal okay oh [Music] wonderful thank you thank you for coming welcome wow yeah coup times already yeah yeah I've met you yeah beautiful thank you thank you and it's not just we just come and see you but we listen to you and we admire you thank you thank you we we are both on your WhatsApp uh group and thank you amazing amazing thank you so much thank you it means a lot see such a person in person actually it's like even more thank you thank you means a lot and thank you for coming all the way thank you from Great Neck how long did it take you about I shouldn't ask an hour 45 oh hour and 45 minutes wow it's an honor to have you I hope you're going to go out at least thank you it thank you thank you honor to walk in we just W and we were both saying on the way here is that we're so excited to actually see again and if we were closer I mean I I work the whole time I I had to take thank you wow it's an honor to have you and you took the day off wow okay a good have a lot of and everything with yeah