Women's Vaera Class: Why Are Animals and Plants Happy, and We Are Misrable?

world. And for evil to be obliterated, I'll have in mind this name as well. Today is of Dalet, so we'll do capital kuf, yud, gimmel. 113, kuf, yud, gimmel, which is today's yom in Tehillim. Kuf, yud, gimmel, 113. Hallelujah, hallelu avdei Adonai, hallelu shem Adonai. Yehi shem Adonai mevorach me'ata vad olam. Mimizrach shemesh ad mevo'o mehulal shem Adonai. Ram al kol Adonai, al hashamayim kevodo. Mi k'Adonai Eloheinu, hamagbihi lashavet, hamashpili lirot bashamayim uv'aretz. Mekimi me'afar dal, me'ashpot yarim evyon, lahoshivi'im im nedivim, im nedivei amo. Meshivi'i akeret habayit, em habanim semecha, halleluyah. So, there's one source sheet. Okay, everybody has. Perfect. Okay, and welcome everybody. Thank you for coming. Today's class is dedicated by Reb Baruch Yosef Markov and family le'ilui nishmat in loving memory of Freidel bas Rebbi Yisrael Halevi, alav hashalom, and for a complete and speedy recovery for Ayala bas Yosefa and for Aaron Halevi ben Sara, many, many long, happy, good, healthy, joyous, prosperous years. Amen. Thank you very, very much. And this class is also dedicated by Levi, Leia, and Menachem Mendel Davidson in loving memory of Harav Reb Aaron Eliezer ben Reb Yosef Yehuda, whose yahrtzeit is today, on Chof Dalet Teves, the 24th of Teves, the yahrtzeit also of the Alter Rebbe, the Baal Hatanya. He was well versed in the Alter Rebbe's Shulchan Aruch and Davening as described by the Baal Hatanya in his Tanya, Ta'anit Shmot shel ben Hachaim. And thank you so, so very much. You know, there's a famous pasuk, zot haTorah Adam, in Parshas Chukas. Zot haTorah Adam kiyamus ba'ol, which Chazal interpret that the Torah is compared to an Adam, a human being. The human organism, Adam, is a comparison or a metaphor or a reflection of Torah, zot haTorah Adam. It also says in Parshas Bereishit, zeh sefer toldos Adam. So, the story of Adam is also like a sefer. One of the things we see about an Adam, about a person, and the truth is, it's really every living organism, is an incredible an incredible truth. And that is, we have approximately between 30 and 70 trillion cells. I don't think they know the exact number, but it's a lot. I don't know what 1 trillion is, so for me, 1 trillion and 30 trillion and 70 trillion is the same thing, probably for most of us. Um and the fascinating thing is that in every one of those cells, there is a double copy, a double copy of what's called the genome. The genome, which has within it a blueprint of the entire body. Literally, they call the DNA. It has in it the the manual, the blueprint for the creation and maintenance and health of the entire body. And that means that even one strand of hair or saliva or any part of the body contains within it the blueprint for the entire organism, which is really an incredible thing. So, zot haTorah Adam, the same is true with Torah as well. Even one small detail, one word, one sentence, one verse contains within it the entire organism. You may not be able to see it so clearly, but if you get to the etzem, just like the DNA, if you get to the core of it, if you get down to the core of the cell, you'll find within that prat, within that detail, you'll see the entire entire organism. Today's shiur is not going to be about a parsha. It's not going to be a section in the parsha. It's not going to be a story. It's not going to be even a verse or a sentence, a part of a verse. It's going to be one word. One word that seems superfluous. At first glance, it seems superfluous, really not necessary, and even a drop misleading. Certainly, it doesn't seem to belong there. And yet, that one word opens us up. It It opens up a vista, a a pesach, an entrance to something that is an extremely profound reflection that really contains with it one of the most fundamental truths of Torah, and it's all there in one word. And we'll see the powerful relevance of this in our lives. So, it all begins in Parshas Va'eira. It's your first source in your in your source sheets. Va'eira, perek zayin, pasuk ches. That's the Book of Exodus, chapter 7, verse 8. Let's just remember the context. The context is that Moshe Rabbeinu was summoned back in Midian to go to the Pharaoh, to the king of Egypt, and demand of him, "Let my people go." He went. Pharaoh refused. Not only did he not let them go, he increased the burden of labor on the Hebrew slaves. At the end of Parshas Shmot, Moshe laments to Hashem and says, "Why are you sending me if it's just futile and it's getting even worse?" So, Hashem said, "Now you'll start seeing the process of redemption." And he asks Moshe Rabbeinu to go again to Pharaoh, to speak to the Jewish people. The Jewish people are not ready to listen to him. They've already had too many high hopes that have failed them. So, Moshe says, "They're not listening to me. How is Pharaoh supposed to listen to me?" And that's when Hashem says, "Go. I know it's going to be hard. He's going to be stubborn, but you will ultimately be successful." And this is his message to Moshe and Aaron to go to Pharaoh, cuz Moshe always went to Pharaoh together with his brother Aaron. And speak to Pharaoh. And this is what it says. So, let's see. Vayomer Hashem el Moshe v'el Aharon leimor, Hashem says to Moshe and Aaron, ki yedaber aleichem Pharaoh leimor, "You're going to come to Pharaoh." This is going to be the second time already, cuz they came back in Shmot. And Pharaoh is going to tell you, "Tnu lachem mofet." Which means, "Make for yourself a wonder. Make a miracle. Prove it. Prove your authenticity. Tnu lachem mofet." Give yourself, literally, give yourself a miracle or make for yourself a miracle or make for you a miracle. V'amarta el Aharon, so then tell Aaron, "Yeah, kach et matecha v'hashlecho lifnei Pharaoh v'yehi l'tanin." Take your staff, throw it in front of Pharaoh, and let it be transformed into a tanin. A tanin is either a serpent or a crocodile, one of those scary uh reptiles. Vayavo Moshe v'Aharon el Pharaoh, it's exactly what happens. They come to Pharaoh, v'ya'asu kein ka'asher tziva Hashem. And they do this exactly as Hashem said they should do. Vayashlech Aharon et matehu lifnei Pharaoh v'lifnei avadav v'yehi l'tanin. Uh Aaron throws down his stick in front of Pharaoh and his servants. It's transformed into a serpent. Vayikra gam Pharaoh lachachamim v'el hamchashfim, vayasu gam heim chartumei Mitzrayim b'lateihem kein. Pharaoh doesn't seem to be very impressed. his own wise experts and mechashfim. Mechashfim are magicians, sorcerers. And they also do the same thing. They do exactly the same thing that Aaron did. They all do. They take their sticks. They throw it down, and it's transformed into snakes. Abracadabra, kadu, they do the same thing. Vayashlichu ish matehu v'yehi l'tanin. They all do it. They throw down their sticks, exactly the miracle that Aaron was supposed to impress Pharaoh with. They all do the same thing. It becomes snakes. Vayivla mateh Aharon et mateisam. Now, Aaron's stick, after it becomes back a stick, swallows up theirs. Vayechezak lev Pharaoh v'lo shama aleihem ka'asher dibber Hashem. The heart of Pharaoh is stiffened. It becomes very harsh and tough, and he does would not listen to them. This is not impress him, as Hashem told Moshe and Aaron that this is exactly what's going to happen. Now, if we look at the words here, I want to focus on one word. I actually might it bold. And that's a word, you know, most people read it, okay, what's the difference? But in Torah, every word, as we said, is precise. When Hashem tells Moshe and Aaron about what Pharaoh is going to ask for, he says, "Pharaoh is going to tell you, 'Tnu lachem mofet.'" Make for yourselves a wonder. Or provide yourselves with a wonder, or do something magical for you. Let's see the Noam Elimelech's question. Just a few words about who the Noam Elimelech was. The Noam Elimelech is a work that was authored by one of the great tzaddikim of Poland, known as the Rebbe Reb Elimelech of Lizhensk. Lizhensk is a city in Poland. It's in southeastern Poland, Galicia. And Reb Elimelech of Lizhensk, known by many as the Rebbe Reb Melech or Reb Melech or Reb Elimelech, he was one of the great students of the Maggid of Mezritch, who was the successor of the Baal Shem Tov. Reb Elimelech of Lizhensk had a very famous brother known as Reb Zusha, Reb Zusha of Annapole. Reb Elimelech, after the passing of the Maggid, went to Lizhensk, and over there, he became one of the greatest sages and tzaddikim and holy leaders in Poland. And many, many of the most or all or most of the Polish Chassidic branches came from students of Reb Elimelech of Lizhensk. He passed away Chof Alef Adar, taf kuf mem zayin, which is 18 80 uh 1787. On the 21st day of Adar, I had the discussion a few years ago to go to Lizhensk and pray at his holy resting place. And they say a story that I don't know the source of the story, but I once read it that during the Second World War, there was an oil that was always an oil on the grave of Rabbi Elimelech of Lizhensk even before the war, today too, where people would come to pray. And the Germans apparently suspected that the Jews are hiding something there. They're hiding treasures there. So they had them dig up the grave of Rabbi Elimelech of Lizhensk. And the story is that the body, his holy body, was momash intact as though it was just just passed away, which was incredible cuz you're talking about 1787, Tav Kuf Mem Zayin, so you're talking about more than around 150 years. That's the story that they say. In any case, he has a safer called Noam Elimelech, which literally means the sweetness or the pleasantness of Elimelech, which was his name. It's not an easy book to learn. It's abstract. It's brief, concise. It's It's hard. It's hard to one really understand it. And on this pasuk, he has an incredible question this question and an incredible insight. Let's see inside. Noam Elimelech, the second paragraph. Ki yedaber aleichem Paroh, tnu lachem mofes, which is a quote. He namei milas lachem einam medukdak. The term lachem here seems to be out of place. It's not medukdak. It doesn't seem to fit in here. Grammatically doesn't work in the sentence. Tnu li hoyo lo leimar. The right expression should have been Paroh is going to tell them, "Tnu li mofes. I need you to impress me. Make a miracle for me." She bevada Paroh ratza Paroh she itnu li mofes. Paroh wanted they should blow him away. Paroh didn't want they should go back to their house or go back to their lodge the place where they were lodging and make a miracle for themselves. He wasn't about tnu lachem mofes. If they would say, "Oh, you should have seen what happened last night when we were alone." I don't care. Tnu lachem mofes is misleading. It's not what he wants. He should say tnu li mofes. You want me to send these Jews out of Egypt. You're claiming that you're messengers of the creator of the world. Let me see it. Let me see some proof. Even if you don't want to say tnu li mofes, he could have just said tnu mofes. Make a miracle. Tnu mofes? You'll see it. I'll see it. But tnu lachem mofes is actually the opposite of what he wants. It's not for you. It's for me. That's the Noam Elimelech's question. Seems to be a very straightforward and simple question. And here we can see how one word, he gives it a whole explanation. One word captures within it such a profound message. Hashem is telling Moshe and Aaron, that's exactly what Paroh is going to say, "Not for me a miracle. I want for you a miracle." Let's see his words. Next paragraph. Ach nireh pashet. It seems to me that the answer to this is simple. What's simple? So he says, Hinei ha'adam hamelumed benisim. Somebody who's accustomed to miracles Hashem Yisbarach oseh lo nes bechol eis. Hashem does for him miracles continuously. Az ayu tamid chiddush venifla be'einav. It still remains something that is wondrous. It's stupendous. It's amazing. It's an awe-inspiring because it's coming from the creator. Hagam shelo yesh Hashem Yisbarach oseh lo tamid nes. Even if it's somebody who's accustomed to it and Hashem does it for him constantly. Af al pi kein hu mafli hadavar lechiddush gadol. It's still an incredible chiddush. It's something so awe-inspiring always. Aval ha'oseh dvar chiddush pa'am achas al yedei kishuf o kadima. But if somebody has a trick, they have some magical trick. They know how to manipulate a situation. They know how to exploit a situation in any field that it be. Here he's talking about kishuf cuz in Egypt, this was sorcery, witchcraft, magic was an art that they really really perfected. But kadima, anything else where a person masters something, it's not a divine miracle. They just It's a certain people, you know, the people they're jack of different trades. Some people are jack of all trades and some people are jack of different trades and they know how to do it. I'm sure you've been at fundraising events where there were mind readers, right? Uh photographic memories, they remember your credit card for like they know everybody's credit card number. They know your bank account number. They know when you were born. It's all interesting, right? You have You have different masters, all these, you know, magic shows and magic tricks. And it's impressive to the audience. He said something interesting. Az av pa'am she'ein nes ein chiddush be'einav lekol. For the guy doing it, the audience may be like, "Wow." But for the guy doing it the second time, the third time, the fourth time, he's not going crazy. He's not coming home to his wife and saying, "You should have seen that puppet show that I made today. You should have seen the magic Why am achashav oseh bats mi pa'am achas?" He did it once. He did it twice. He may have done a hundred times. It's like, "Here we go again." You know? The crowd may see it the first time and they're overwhelmed. They're enthralled. It's a chiddush for them. But he already mastered it. So fine. Yeah, you need to do it again. You do it again and again and again. It's not something that blows him away because he knows the background, right? He He's the one who's doing it. He knows exactly the tricks. So how impressed can he be with his own trick that he has up his own sleeve, pun intended. Vezeh sh'amar Hashem Yisbarach Baruch Hu. So Hashem was telling Moshe and Aaron, "Ki yedaber aleichem Paroh, tnu lachem mofes." Paroh said to them something very very profound here. Tnu lachem mofes. I want a miracle that's going to be a crazy miracle for you. Piru sheta'asu mofes kazeh shegam lachem yiyeh mofes lechiddush. I want you to make a mofes that for you it's going to be a crazy experience. You're going to go out of your keilim. You're going to be overwhelmed from excitement and inspiration. Zeh yiyeh avadai davar. This is going to be something that's going to that's going to touch me. What is he saying? Anybody who's an actor in any field and they master it, they know what to do, so at some point they're not going to be impressed from their own tricks, right? As he puts it here, it's a mechashshef. Anybody who does any performance, any form of performance, like he says mechashshef o kadima. I do not come home with excitement about what happened because there are all types of showmen. There are all types of acts. There are all types of actors in many many different fields. And as a result of that, he's not going meshuga and crazy from inspiration about what happened because you know exactly what to do in order to impress the audience in a particular a particular fashion. So maybe the kids or the children or the adults sitting at this show are very very impressed. It's certainly very very excited. They never saw it again. They never saw it before. But for the person himself, it may be the hundredth time he's doing it. It may be the thousandth time he's doing it. Maybe it's the third time he's doing it. It's like, "Next." So the Noam Elimelech says as follows. The mechashshef, the one making the one who knows the drill, the one who knows the magic, he knows how to do it. So as he does it, the crowd may be, "Oh my god. [screaming] Wow. This is crazy." But he knows the back end. >> [laughter] >> So he's not like, "Wow." He's not like He doesn't come home in terror or in awe or in inspiration or in ecstasy. It's like, "Next. Give me my check. 5:00, I have another performance. 8:00, I have another performance. Tomorrow, I have four performances. Next. Next. Next." So what Yeah, Paroh says, "Tnu lachem mofes." Not tnu li mofes. I want something that you, Moshe and Aaron, you're like, "Oh my god." Literally, pun intended. "Oh my god." "Oh my god. Tnu lachem mofes." Not for me. We know the drill. We have our stuff. You have your stuff. Okay, Hashem. The snake, crocodile, let the You know exactly what you did. You're going to remain cold-blooded. You're going to remain intact. Tnu lachem mofes. I want something that for you it's going to overwhelm you. It's going to take you out of your regular comfort zone. It's going to cause you to experience a moment of transcendence. In other words, I'm not looking for a trick. I want to see if you're actually a channel. You're channeling something divine in the creation. You're actually revealing something new. You didn't just master something that some people know and some people don't know. So and and we could understand how this relates in so many areas. Okay. Take for example a singer. Take a speaker. Take an artist. Take any form of art that people master. It could be an athlete. It could be a teacher. Could be an orator. Could be a cantor. Could be an opera singer. >> [laughter] >> Could be a professional professional communicator. Professional actor. Anything. A musician. A vocalist. Any form of art where in which you perform to people. They know the drill. It's like another evening. Another evening. Another evening. You can't say that this You can't expect a person to come home and they're like full of inspiration from their own performance. They did it two and a half thousand times or 200 times. So yeah, they do it. They might do it well. You have to do it in a way that the audience thinks you're there. You're fully there. If they you're falling asleep in middle, it's not going to work. Some of them take a drink before. Some of them take other things before. I sometimes go behind stage so I see what's happening over there. >> [laughter] >> It's a whole different experience than when it's front stage. You're doing a performance. Backstage, it's like, okay, you know, what? Now. You want this artist or actor or singer or vocalist or musician or speaker to go out of the column to be overwhelmed. He did it already. He knows it. He knows what it is. It's going to be maybe a mythus for the people. Wow, he never heard such a thing. That was incredible, incredible. And maybe that's beautiful and it's inspiring. But for the person himself or herself, been there, done that. There's a certain monotony. The only way that can change is to mythis. Parry says if you're actually channeling something that's higher than you. You didn't just master a cute trick or amazing trick that will blow people away, but it won't blow you away. I want something that's going to blow you away to mythis. And here the name of continues. And with this he explains a fascinating and enigmatic possible to tell which becomes a cornerstone for how a person lives. If you see the next line to parry possible cute. To chapter 40 verse 10. Psalms chapter 40. I have become comes from the word basura. Somebody who shares something. Like you say, I want to you should please give me a tova. So is when somebody shares something. Somebody pontificates, somebody communicates. I have become a communicator of means justice among a large community. I'm sharing words that convey justice in a big in a big congregation among many among masses of people. Yet my lips don't cease. comes from the word like stop. Colors contained like the word My my lips don't cease. God, you know. But it is written in a very poetic language. So with poetry, you know, you have to know what exactly the psalmist is saying in this chapter. So most of I think explain I'm sharing words of justice among the masses and my my lips won't cease. In other words, I will continue. God, you know that I will In other words, this is my passion. This is my This is my I'm dedicated to this. This is my goal. The name of says he's actually saying something very very profound about how to present. And let's see. Next paragraph. Name of says If I am sharing something new, something novel, something interesting. The color of for a large community. It's something novel and it's something good said it. Nonetheless, even though I'm the one sharing it, so I already know it. My lips will not cease to express gratitude and praise to Hashem for this amazing thing that I just shared. Why? So the name of says even though I'm used to it, I know it. The reason is cuz that's what it means to share the word of Hashem. So therefore, even though we call it I'm not talking about the audience. Talking about the one who's communicating. So first I my lips won't cease to be grateful, to be overwhelmed, to be inspired, to experience such joy and ecstasy for what I just shared. Why? Why are you so excited? You know exactly how it came about and it was structured and you prepared it and you knew it. Like I understand for the audience. The answer is Hashem your data. Because you know that it was just channeling your words and therefore the communicator is as excited, probably more excited than even the people who are hearing it. What what what what is the name of teaching here? This is the mythis that Hashem says parry wants mythis. The first miracle is to be a miracle for you. And I was like, I can't believe that just happened. Wow, even though they did it. He's the one speaking. She's the one communicating. I cannot believe this just happened. Wow, I am so grateful. What a privilege. >> [snorts] >> So I'm going to share with you a story, a personal story that I think will illustrate this in a in a beautiful way. This was around uh between 20 and 25 years ago. I was being invited I started to be invited to lecture around the world pretty extensively. So I decided I wanted to visit somebody to ask for guidance and the person I went to visit was Rabbi Adin Even Yisrael. Rabbi Adin Steinsaltz of blessed memory. You probably know he has authored around 70 and he was the first translator of the into English and Hebrew. He was He was a remarkable remarkable person and also a genius. And also had a very very interesting interesting history. And among all of his other projects, he would also travel a lot and lecture. So I made an appointment with him. I asked if I could see him and he gave me an appointment afternoon in his house at shabbos to shabbos. So I came. He lived in the German colony in Germanit in Jerusalem. And I went there shabbos afternoon. I walked there. It was a long walk from where I was. He and his rebbetzin of blessed memory uh she just passed away I think a few months ago. Rebbetzin Steinsaltz they greeted me very pleasantly and graciously. And then he said, come out to the courtyard and we'll talk. So we went out to the little garden in the back of his house. He had I think all if I remember a little gazebo over there. And I sat down on the stem of a tree and he sat down on something very similar to that. And he dedicated a nice amount of time to me which I was thankful for. And we we spoke. So I told him I said one of the reasons I came here is we spoke about different things, but I said, you know, you have been traveling the world and you're a season traveler. I heard myself many of your lectures at different banquets and dinners and events and schools and conventions and communities. And uh I'm a young man. I'm being invited to do this. I want to get to your, you know, your experience. I want to hear your advice. I want to hear your perspective. Now you have to know Rabbi Adin Steinsaltz was a very very perceptive person. He was very humble. Because he was very humble, he can say things that most people would not tell people. He was not afraid to say things that were extremely extremely uh let's see uh if if if your ego was too big, it could be very very offensive. He was extremely he could be extremely blunt, extremely direct. But I knew that he was a very humble person and a very genuine person. So it was actually a privilege to hear it. So he looked at me. I didn't know what he's going to say. I thought he'll give me some advice, you know. And he says to me, I'll never forget this. Like 25 years ago. He says, I heard that you're actually good. I said, wow, compliment from him was also no small thing. He was not He did not He did not He did not flatter people. I don't think he even knew how to flatter people. It was the opposite. So I was like, oh, this is going very well, right? Like how do you know? He says, my wife actually went to a speech of yours. I gave a speech in Omar, the Jerusalem Convention Center I think for women. I think it was there and she said it was very very good. Okay, so it's already right? It's going well. She said and if you're good today, you're probably going to become better. That's how it works, you know. They say that 10,000 hours of practice perfects a skill. It fine tunes and hones a skill. Whether it's with piano or it's with singing or it's with with a golf and it's with communication. So he says you'll probably become better and better and better. He says you will probably be so successful at what you do that at some point you won't even have to prepare. When they invite you to a lecture, you won't even ask them for the topic. Cuz it will be completely irrelevant. You're just so good at what you're doing, it's automatic. He says and you'll come to the events and you won't even know the topic. And then they'll introduce you. Nobody knows of course. They don't even know what you're talking about yet. You stand up at the pulpit and on the pulpit they'll usually have a flyer that says what the topic is. Marriage, education, midlife crisis, Israel, the Jewish people, whatever it is. You'll look at it and from your brain you're going to extricate the filing the file in the filing cabinet in your brain on this topic. Right? You're going to take out the file. Nobody's going to know. And that file you have the opening joke. You have your message. You have a couple of stories. You have another joke. You make them laugh. You make them cry. Like somebody once said to me when you speak, stand up, tell them what you're going to tell them, then tell them, tell them what you told them and sit down. So he says you'll basically have it all in the file. You'll take out whatever you need for the half an hour, the hour, hour and 15 minutes. You'll give your presentation. It's going to be gavaldic. You're going to get a thundering applause. If the Jews are in a good mood, you'll even get a standing ovation for 30 40 seconds. Everybody is going to go home happy. You'll even get your check afterwards. You're going to go to the hotel. They're going to go home gavaldic evening. Kolam mabsu tim as they say. Everybody at the at the Yidden mazel mabsu and me love English cuz I hope you're mabsu English. Satisfied. Okay. Who invented the word mabsu? I don't know. But however, mabsu. Everybody's You're happy, they're happy. You go back. Sure. Tomorrow night next next. I really did not know where he's going with this. And he says and you can again you He was He would whisper. And you're going to continue like this. And it'll probably continue like this for 25 years, he tells me. With God's grace for 25 years. It's just going to get better and better. And then he says and then one day one day you're going to wake up in the morning and you're going to get out of bed and you're going to look in the mirror and suddenly you're going to see that there's nothing there. The only thing you're going to see in the mirror is a mouthpiece. That's it. Nothing besides a mouthpiece. That's what you're going to see in the mirror. And at that moment you will know that you have virtually died. You're not alive. There is just a mouthpiece. And you're going to be the one who knows it even if nobody else knows it. This is my advice to you. I'm like, "Whoa." >> [laughter] >> What was his point? This is what his message. What was his point? I'll soon tell you the continuation of the conversation. I didn't just leave then. I didn't just go from Malave Malko to Ben Yehuda to eat some falafel and shawarma to deal with my anxiety of what I just heard. I did that afterwards but not right then. His point is exactly what the name of Elimelech is saying here. Exactly. What can often happen in life is in any area of life. This is from a teacher to a speaker to a singer to an athlete to a mother to a father to an educator to a mentor every area of life. It's I know the drill. I go into it. It's a good act. People may be like people may like it. It may even accomplish good things. And in that sense you shouldn't just denigrate it and criticize it. But internally internally there's a lack of embodiment. There's a lack of authenticity. There's a lack of vibrancy. There's a lack of what we call pnimeus. True true living with something from within and then sharing it. So the name of Elimelech says be site it said it be color of. How do I know that the communication is real? It's divine energy. The answer is when I finish I'm the first one to say, "Wow." "Thank you Hashem. Wow. You allowed me to be a channel." The first one who praises is not the audience. They too. But the real person svas s'ila yachla. "God, you know what just happened. It has nothing to do with me." That's how you know. That's a whole different energy. And it's something that can't be manipulated. People who are not sensitive can think one way or another way but the person themselves like I'm talking now so I know. I right away know the difference. And it's a difference between a torturous existence which at the surface could give one satisfaction for a very little while but it's very very superficial. It's skin deep because the entire satisfaction is coming from something external. And the person himself or herself knows it very very well. So I may have gotten away with it. I may have gotten away with it and it's okay. But deep down there is a deep void a deep emptiness because my soul was not present. And the reason my soul was not present as Rabbi Adin says it's a mouthpiece. God gave different people different gifts and different skills and they can master them and they can use them and they can become accustomed to it and they take it for granted and it's another show and it's another experience for the people and off you go and then we go to the next one. Or it could be transformational even for the communicator themselves when the person is a channel. So I asked Rabbi Adin. This is what he said. I understood right away what he meant. I asked him what's the eitza? What's the advice for this? And he said something. He said surround yourself with a few individuals who will give you authentic feedback constantly. People who will not care to flatter you or to tell you nice things. People who are very very real with you. They care about you not about any of your talents not about any of your performances. People who want to connect to you and you want to connect to them and be open constantly to that type of feedback. That's number one. He says the mistake of great people is they surround themselves with people who are not authentic and it works for their egos and their insecurities. And when somebody does give them honest feedback they either go crazy or they run away to China and they're done emotionally to China. He says you could do that but that's how the mouthpiece is created and formed to perfection. And nobody goes into that space. And you'll make a tragic error in your life. Another thing he said is you always have to be working on yourself. Always. If it ever becomes something that is just packaged here's the package I presented he says you're a dead person. You're giving people dead energy. It's not alive in you. The only way it's going to be alive in you is if you're constantly constantly doing internal internal emotional spiritual work not just learning but internalizing it. He said the third thing is so people when they publish books they have a bunch of endorsements. He says but one endorsement people often forget to get. They get from this person and that person famous authors famous celebrities famous interesting people cuz people want to They want people to buy the book. You see the book and you see oh he endorses it she endorses it gavaldic I have to buy this is going to heal all my problems. You buy the book it doesn't heal all your problems but sure. Next. He says there's one endorsement you always need to have. The Gemara says chaisoma shel Hakadosh Baruchu emes. The seal of God is truth. So how do you get an endorsement from God? He says if you're speaking truth. So he says make sure he says I don't care if you have 100 endorsements but make sure at least one of them should be from Hashem. At least one. This was his way of talking. At least one of the endorsements should be from Hashem which means chaisoma shel Hakadosh Baruchu emes. This is very deep this is I'll tell you another interesting experience I had. There was a Jew named Meir Abuhatzeira. He was from the family of the Abuhatzeiras came from Morocco France. He lived in Israel. He wrote a book called The Possible Man. I think he brought macrobiotics into the Jewish community those who know about macrobiotics. He was an interesting character by Meir Abuhatzeira. So uh I was once speaking also in Jerusalem. It's also around 25 years ago. >> [gasps] >> And uh I'll never forget he came over to me afterwards. He would also whisper. He had a hoarse voice. He spoke like this. Alav Hashalom l'chtikha gan Eden. This is what he told me. He says I'm going to tell you a rule now. If you finish a speech and somebody comes over to you and says, "Rabbi Jacobson I love you. You are a miserable failure and you should never open your mouth again. You should shut your mouth." I didn't expect that. Like what's wrong? And then he says if they come over after your speech somebody says, "You know I love my wife so much more." He says, "Oh, now you were a success." He says, "You see in the first case it was about you. I love you. You're a failure. In the second case it was about them." So he said if somebody comes to you afterwards and tells you how much they love you that means you actually failed them. This was just another opportunity for you to build your career your ego your reputation your celebrity status. This is not the way you should do it. And if you're doing it that way quit. If somebody comes over and says, "Ah I love my wife more. I love my children more. I love God more. I love myself more. Whatever it is. I love life more." He says, "Oh, now you were a channel." I once heard from a Jew to be a Yael Kahn alav hashalom. He said that they used to say that every Jew could become a baal teshuvah. Every Jew. And every Jew does teshuvah at some point. There's only one exception and that is a darshan a speaker. Why? He says every Jew even if he's uninspired and apathetic and numb but sometimes he'll open a safer and he'll see something and say, "Wow, you know, I have to change." Or he'll hear something say, "Oh, wow. That's That touches me." He says, "But a speaker when he sees a good vort what's his first thought? Gavaldic for my next speech. This is amazing amazing." He doesn't have the ability to internalize it cuz right away right you hear something good it's great tomorrow I have a shiur tomorrow I have to speak. This This is gavaldic. Right away it's how it's going to be used. So somebody told this to me. So I said you're missing the end of the story. What's the end of the story? I said somebody was once farbrenging with a speaker and he wanted to be my Rebbe him. So he said, "You know, you're the only guy who will never do teshuvah because you don't never take things inside. It's always how am I going to use it?" So the guy said, "Wow, that's an amazing idea for my next speech. That's an amazing amazing fart that a dasher could never do chuva, right? >> [laughter] >> So, the truth is that this is exactly what the Na'am Elimelech is saying. And it has to do with one other insight we once shared from the Maggid of Mezritch, the Na'am Elimelech's teacher. It says by Elisha, the very famous words, Elisha, they wanted him to prophesy, but he he was like in despondency. And nevu'ah, prophecy, only could come with simcha, when a person is joyous, open-hearted. Because when I'm in a place of anxiety, it's very hard to channel the divine energy. It's more I'm closed, I'm contrite. So, Elisha says, "Koolie menagen, I need you to bring me a menagen." A menagen is somebody who is a composer and a singer, a musician, a vocalist. And the pasuk says in Melachim, "Vayehi chenagen hamenagen, vatehi elav yad Hashem." As the menagen began to be menagen, as the menagen began to sing, the yad Hashem, the the hand, the the the the aura, the divine energy, rested on Elisha, and he could be a channel. So, the Maggid of Mezritch asks, "What's vayehi chenagen hamenagen?" It's like a cute play of words. It says vayehi kasher nigen, kasher hischila nagen, vayehi chenagen hamenagen. So, the one of his students was Tiferes Ozeel, he brings it in his from the Maggid of Mezritch, an incredible insight. And that is there is a menagen and there is a nigun. The menagen is the one who sings, either the vocalist or the one who plays the instrument, the musician. That's the menagen. What's the difference between the one who is playing the music, the musician, and the instrument, the musical instruments, the musical instrument, and the song itself? The answer is the song, the notes of the song, and the musical instrument don't have self-consciousness. I never saw a violin coming home from a concert and turning to the owner of the violin, "You think I was good? They liked me? Cuz I saw Yankel fell asleep momish in the middle of the third stanza. That machutzef, that guy. Why is he What does he even think he knows about concerts? His wife is schlepping him cuz she thinks she's sophisticated. The guy belongs in concerts. You think You think they liked it? Cuz I saw a lot of people left in middle. You know what? I don't think I'm doing this again. I'm done. I'm finished. But you're a Stradivarius. I'm a Stradivarius. I'm $20 million. Yes, Stradivarius. I had The people don't appreciate me. I'm done. No, you were very good. You think I could raise my price?" A violin never does this. Stradivarius, nishkin Stradivarius, a piece of junk. You know what a Stradivarius is, yeah? >> [laughter] >> You'll find out. There's a violin that's worth They could buy for $70 a violin, you have to pay $15 million. Haha. Joshua Bell has a Stradivarius. They call it a strat. It was made by a man named Stradivarius, like only like 20 violins. He was in the 16th century, and his violins apparently are amazing. They're worth millions, and nobody knows why. They still don't know what he put into that violin. Like, you know, Coca-Cola, but here it's healthier. So, it's it's it's incredible. The violin or the guitar or the drum or the cello or the piano, the piano is not busy doubting itself or complimenting itself and waiting for a WhatsApp of how amazing the concert was. The same is true with the song. The notes of the song don't experience self-consciousness. But who does? The pianist, the violinist, the cantor, the musician, the speaker. For people in that position, do they like me? Was I good? Should I quit? Is it too long? Is it too short? Are they going to hire me again? That's normal. What do I look like? Do I look weird? Do I look presentable? Am I handsome? Are they impressed by me? Are they blown away? Why is she texting? Why is he sleeping? Why did they just leave? What's going on? I don't like that person the way he's looking at me. Why did he talk to somebody about me in the middle I'm speaking? All these things. Wow, wow, wow. They're very normal. They're very human. So, the Maggid says, "Vayehi chenagen hamenagen." When the menagen becomes like the nigun itself, when the menagen becomes like the nigun or like the clay nigun, like the instrument, that's when vatehi elav yad Hashem. I once asked a pianist, Carnegie Hall, he was a very very good pianist. I think he was a very professional I think it was in Carnegie Hall. It was a very prominent pianist. I said, "How do you know that your performance is successful? How do you know?" So, he answered. He said, "When in middle of the performance, I'm not present. I don't feel my presence anymore. I'm like not there, and I know that my fingers are just channeling the music. That's how I know it's successful." And he hit the nail. He literally hit the nail on the head, because it's counterintuitive. Sometimes you think, "If I'm present, I know what's happening. I have control." That's when I'm here. It's the opposite. Because all creativity is really as somebody once said, "Creativity is eavesdropping on God." That's what creativity is. Creativity is eavesdropping on God. The word creativity comes from the word creator. In Hebrew, it's called yetzirah, yetziratiyut. From the word yotzer, yotzer or. Right? Yotzreinu, yotzer bereishis. There's the source of creativity. The more I suspend my self-consciousness and I channel the source, that's what real creativity is. The more I am busy with myself, I become a chatzitzah, it's like in a mikvah, I become a chatzitzah. I separate the flow of energy to penetrate. So, if I have a chatzitzah in my nails or in my hair, what's block The water The water can't flow. And if it's a mayan, if it's a living wellspring, so it's always connected to the source. So then, I'm just channeling source, channeling source, channeling source. It comes through me, but doesn't get interrupted by me. And therefore, who is the first one that's grateful? The speaker. Like, "Hashem, wow. Wow, that's incredible. I" He had to prepare before. Yeah, you have to prepare. You have to do your work to open yourself up as a channel. Every person in their own field. But what's really happening is It's complete complete suspension of self. Vayehi chenagen hamenagen, and then vatehi elav yad Hashem. So, who sees it as a mofes? True, lachem mofes. Moshe and Aaron are like, "Oh my God. Wow, God, this is awesome. This is great." I understood what Rabbi Adin Steinsaltz told me. Rabbi Adin Steinsaltz told me 25 years ago, a quarter of a century. I understood it very well. But I understood it. The problem is at that time it was very hard for me to really embody what he said. Because uh even though life is always work in progress, but I was more stuck then or more unaware then. So, I understood what he said, but literally from an intellectual place. It was almost like the speaker entertaining the crowd by saying that the speaker will never become a baal teshuvah. And that's an amazing idea to use at my next lecture, cuz it's funny and it's interesting and it's humorous. So, almost when I heard his words, I heard them as, "Wow, I have to make sure I I I didn't put it in these words, but it was like I have to make sure that it doesn't appear to anybody that I'm a mouthpiece." And the first person I have to make sure that it doesn't appear to anyone as a mouthpiece is me. Which means it's a complete disassociation where I don't even know I didn't even know the depth of disassociation. So, part of the disassociation is I should not look dissociated. And it really comes from a very very deep grief and pain that at the core we're not divine. At the core, we can't really be channels. Which is a very very deep unconscious pain from a deep mistrust that doesn't appreciate what it means that the person is really, as it says in Tanya, chelek Eloka mima'al mamash. That we are in flow. That we are channeling. But if I don't have an experience of that in a very very deep internal way, so of course I'm going to go and rely on that which can give me like a microwave oven, it can give me It can make it fast and make it hot. So, that's exactly what the ego of the insecurity does is perform, get the feedback you need, feel good for like 6 minutes, and go to the next performance. And the truth is that for many years I really suffered from this. Because I realized that the feedback I was desperately needing, it felt good, but it felt good for only a few minutes. And on a deeper level, it was really torturous, cuz it was exactly this issue. It was a mouthpiece. The mouthpiece may have been nice and good and eloquent, and I had good intentions and and hope helped people, but nonetheless still in an internal space, there was a there was a a a a contention. There was like a rift, a split. Another thing where I really saw it was how I was preparing. I was preparing to a point of crazy perfection. And on one hand, it was very good cuz I did a lot of preparation and things came out good, but on the other hand, I realized because I am desperately afraid of getting rejection from the audience. Now, how perfect can you be? It's impossible to be perfect. And with my internal critic, which is a pretty nice bully, he always found afterwards the missing piece. There's always a mistake. There's always a fact that was wrong or this was wrong or this could have said about people that I know. Whatever it is. And for the next 3 days until my next lecture, that was literally living in my brain as a monster. And I try I I and I didn't really even know what it is, but it was there. It was very, very there and I could not and I could not get rid of it through getting more feedback because that was at the core of the infection. It's like you can't heal the infection, you know, through more of the That was the infection. So, the more people would say nice things, it should have soothed me, but it was actually making it much worse and I didn't realize it. It was making it worse cuz it was simply showing me how desperate I was and how fake it all was. And as years went on and with God's grace I started to do a lot of inner work, still doing work and I'm not there yet, but everything is at lot. Mikhail Alchoyel I started to realize that it's exactly the opposite. There's no such a thing as me being perfect in my presentation. It's a joke. It's stupidity. It's pettiness. It's really everything about me being a channel for whatever Hashem wants me to channel today through my mind, through my heart, through my mouth. Tomorrow he wants me to channel something else, I'll channel something else. Will I learn more things tomorrow? Will I learn Maybe I made mistakes in the past? Of course, what's the question? And the more I can do that, the more I can literally go in from Kanagin Amanagin. I just want to be a channel. And a channel really means just a channel. A channel means nothing to do with me. It has to do with me only that I am I have a that Hashem chose me at this moment to give class and to be a channel for his love, for his wisdom, for his infinity, for his terror, for his truth, for Ein Od Milvado. That's it. And whatever comes through through my Whatever Hashem chooses to pass through me today, I'm going to open myself up, I'm going to prepare whatever I can prepare, and whatever comes out comes out. And whatever people need to hear, I hope they're going to hear every person in their own way. And then when I saw these words of the Noam Elimelech, it was like, "Wow, this he nailed it, right? Be Sa'ir Tzedek Bechol Orav. A person is sharing Tzedek, words of Tzedek, hopefully words of justice and Tzedakah, Bechol Orav. But Sfas Elo Echlo, the first one who praises it my lips." It's like, "Wow, thank you, Hashem, for using me as this channel." Thank you. Hashem Ateh Yadata, you know. Cuz that's what really all all creativity is. Vaihi Kanagin Amanagin, Vatehi Ahavah Yada Hashem. It's the Nagen Amanagen. So, when Moshe and Aaron are coming to Paroh, he says, "Tnu Lacham Mofes. I don't need another magic trick. In Egypt we have experts on everything. What do they say? People who today are reading more and more about less and less. People who know the price of everything and the value of nothing. In Egypt we know the price of everything, but we know the value of nothing. Tnu Lacham Mofes. I don't need a Mofes that's going to blow me away cuz I never saw Moshe and Aaron's unique genre of magic. I need a Mofes that Tnu Lacham, you guys are going to like, "Oh, wow, Hashem, this is incredible. We were just channels. This has nothing to do with us." It literally has nothing to do with us. For me, I'm just going to share this with you. And today is the the Yahrtzeit of the Alter Rebbe, the Baal HaTanya. And I have the Zchus for many years of teaching his Torah constantly. So, and I really have a I can't even say it in words, but I have a incredible debt of gratitude to the Baal HaTanya, the Alter Rebbe, because his teachings and his Torah literally illuminated [snorts] my life and healed me in incredibly, incredibly powerful ways. And one of the one of the one of the experiences I had, and it just felt like in the past it would have almost I would have called that self-abuse cuz I didn't understand what it is. But at that moment, I knew how true it was. And I can't say that I'm always feeling it and experiencing when I experienced it that at a moment of clarity, I can't tell you how liberating it was. I remember I was talking to my soul, really talking to Hashem. I don't know if it was in words or in internally, but it was an internal experience. I said to you know, I said, "Hashem, I want you to know something. If I know that your will today is for me to go and delete every single video of me that it's out there. Uh my YouTube channel, delete everything. Every clip, every Instagram, every Facebook, every WhatsApp, every video, every audio, the Yeshiva.net, delete, delete every article, every essay, every video, out, delete. Everything. That's what you want. You should know, I'm completely fine. Hinani, I'm completely fine. I had the Zchus to be a channel as long as you want me to be a channel. If that's not my Avodah, but it's to go to retreat and go serve God in the intimacy of my own soul, Hinani, I'm fine. I'm completely fine. If you want me to continue, I'm fine. I'm just a channel. I can't tell you the emotional liberation of that moment. Not holding on to anything. Not holding on to it cuz there's nothing It's not me. It has nothing to do with me. And paradoxically, when it has nothing to do with me, it's so much more alive. It's so much more exciting. Like I can get excited. When when I'm a performer, I don't get excited. I'm just performing. The people get excited and we know it. The performers know it very well. And that's why many of people who are in performance are emotionally >> [laughter] >> It's very easy to become emotionally unhealthy. Very easy to become emotionally unhealthy because there's like this contrast, you know? The crowd is worshipping you and internally, you know, you come home and like your wife is like, "Take out the garbage. Where are you?" It's It's very hard for people. It's very hard for people. The Rambam says that the Cohen Gadol Mitzrayim Kipper Yotzei Labeisa. He has to go home. Everybody says, "What's like what's the Halacha here? What if he wanted to go to his mother's house or Beis Medrash?" And the answer is no, Yotzei Labeisa. Cuz when the Cohen Gadol came home Mitzrayim Kipper, what do you think his wife told him? "Oh, wow, you're amazing. You and That's not what she said. She's like, I've been here with your 11 kids all day. I am going Meshuga. It's very nice you're the Cohen Gadol, you're in Kodesh Hakodashim. This is not working for me. I am the make go crazy. You will have a wife who is completely lost the plot, so you can run away to Kodesh Hakodashim. First of all, Yanky needs a bath. Dvoiry has been in Gantz Meshuga. Okay, someone needs to go 306 Care Center. Air ache. He has the flu. Also, take out the garbage. But Machila, the garbage is here for a week. Go take out the garbage. Now, the Cohen Gadol is like, "I don't understand this. I was in Kodesh Hakodashim today. Nobody goes to the Kodesh Hakodashim. Once a year, me. I atone for the whole Klal Yisrael. I don't deserve this treatment." So, the Rambam says, "Ve Yotzei Labeisa." How do you know you're the Cohen Gadol who was really in the Holy of Holies if you go home? If you don't bring it into the house and you remain in your beautiful cocaine and oasis, the whole world will love you, but you know that deep down there's a rift. It's not real. It's not authentic. And Mitzvah Yeah, yeah, yeah, Beis Ish Yisrael. If he doesn't have a wife, he says you can't do that by Yom Kippur. That's true. The Halacha, what's the connection? Fkeit, if he has a wife, he If he has a wife, there's much more demand. There's He has to split his life between different responsibilities, but that's the Halacha. He cannot do the Avodah of Yom Kippur, which was not in a home. It was in the Holy of Holies. It was away from his family. It was very intimate. It was very private. It was very exclusive. But nonetheless, that that's what embodiment is. That's what Dirah Betachtonim is. That's what connection is. Dovid Hamelech has a verse in in in in Shmuel. He has an unbelievable verse when Avshalom rebelled against him and Dovid Hamelech ran away. He had to run away. And Dovid Hamelech's And somebody's telling Dovid Hamelech, you know, you have to kill all your enemies who are who are trying to usurp your throne. And Dovid Hamelech says an incredible Vort. He says, "If Hashem wants me back at the throne, good. Veim Kayam Lo Chafasti, Hinani." If Hashem says, "I don't want you anymore," Hinani, Hinani. So, that's the lesson we all get from Dovid Hamelech. What it means he understood in Lo Shivisi Bedam Amti, he's a channel. Now, the big question that I always have is, how does one get here? How does one get to this space? So, here we have another piece, the last piece. This is a discourse of the Alter Rebbe, the Baal HaTanya, as I mentioned his Yahrtzeit is today, Chaf Dalet Teves. He returned his soul to his maker Chaf Dalet Teves, Tav Kof Ayin Gimel, which is 1812. And this is from a Sefer called Ma'amarei Admur Hazaken Haktsarim, page Tav Kof Nun Gimel. It's a little piece about joy. And I think it really gives a blueprint for what we're discussing of implementation. Like how does one begin to live this way? And I should just say that this is connected to everything. Not everybody sitting here is a vocalist, a composer, a musician, an actor, a magician, a speaker, an orator, a writer. Some of you are. Some of you are teachers and mentors and leaders in your own fields. But every one of us is constantly in the vortex of life. Whether it's in our marriages, mothering our children, grandmothering our grandchildren. I just made up a word. Is there such a word? But sounds good. Webster can make up words, Rabbi YY can make up words. It's fine. I'm just a channel anyway. So, if you don't like the word, it's fine. You can throw it out. Control alt co Whatever we're doing, everybody in their careers, in their homes, in their personal lives, with ourselves, with our loved ones. But everybody is involved in things. How do we go from a place of taking it personal, and where my happiness is dependent on your feedback or somebody else's feedback to a place of really being a channel which is so so much more liberating. Now, the ego does not believe it's more liberating. The ego says, "No, if you're a channel, what's going to be left of you? You'll be a shmata." Right? Cuz the ego thinks that it lives through separateness, by being alone. It's almost like I live like this and the more I protect myself and separate myself from reality, the more I'm alive. Ego is easing God out, easing greatness out. The truth is the exact opposite. The ego is what creates a chatzitzah between us and creativity, between us and reality. It makes me lonely. It makes me broken. The word rah, we translate as evil, but really I want you to know the source, the etymology of the word rah is not evil. The etymology of the word rah we have in Koheles three times, ru'us, ru'ach. Ru'us means broken. Broken. And in fact, the in in in Gemara we have something called koisel ro'ua. Ro'ua, it's not a bad wall, it's a flimsy wall, it's a broken wall. It's a wall that's about to fall and break because the source of evil begins not with evil, it begins with brokenness. It begins with the fact like a broken matzah, you're separated from the whole matzah. It begins with the fact that I feel separated from the whole. And because I feel separated from the whole, I don't know that I'm part of the whole. So now I need to create the brokenness and mold that into a self-contained reality. Imagine you have a word. This is the the Alter Rebbe's metaphor in Torah. He says, "You have a word baruch, okay? Beis, reish, vav, chaf. Baruch or bracha, which means a blessing. Baruch, he's blessed. Bracha is a blessing. Beis, reish, chaf, hei are all different letters, but they together make up a bracha, a blessing. What happens if somebody takes these letters and splits them? So now beis goes to the east, reish goes to the west, chaf goes to the north, hei goes to the south. They used to be part of bracha. Now beis is on its own. So like beis comes to a therapist and says, "Who am I?" The therapist says, "What Why are you here? You You You look cute. You're like a beis. You're nice. I like your features. You have a roof. You go down. You come back the other way. Okay, you're missing something on the side, okay, but nobody's perfect." But beis says, "No, I'm struggling with my self-confidence. I hate myself." So okay, so the therapist says, "So let's rebuild your self-confidence and invest so much time to showing the beis that it's incredible. The reish is suffering with even more cuz the reish is also lost on the bottom. Okay, the chaf is like too round. Like people say, "I'm just round. I never end. There's no limitations with me. It's like I'm not predictable. I'm always late to the airport. I'm late to every event." And the hei is like, "I don't know what's happening. There's a hole here. There's a hole there." So this and the therapist spends, I don't know, 40, 50 years really helping them become confident. What's the real tragedy? The real tragedy is when they were all part together, they all knew they were a bracha. They were a blessing. But now in separateness, I don't know who I am. So now I have to invest resources into creating something from this separate reality. That's the beginning of all rah. And that's really what ego looks like. What ego looks like is you have to have compassion. It's really feeling that I am so separate and alone, so now I need a I need proof that I matter. So if you can give me a compliment, if I can get this type of feedback from my family or from my husband or from my wife or from my child, this is what's going to make it or this is what's going to break it. What does it really mean to go into flow? That the beis says, "I'm part of bracha." It doesn't take away my individuality. On the contrary, it makes my individuality part of infinity. Your individuality becomes creative cuz you're channeling the ultimate creativity. By hekane negina, when that pianist forgets that he exists, he doesn't exist less, he actually exists much more because the music is coming through this person. If it's about my self-consciousness, of course I exist, but what is this? This little flimsy guy that if you're texting in the middle of my speech, I'm having a nervous breakdown. And if you're talking to somebody else, I'm busy doubting and speculating, "What did you just say about me?" How pathetic this little little existence is. And that's what the bully of the ego does. And that's the same thing like insecurity. Ego and insecurity work together. So in all of our life, it's always constantly navigating between these two states. It's really the two souls that the Alter Rebbe speaks about in Tanya, the nefesh elokis and the nefesh habahamis. The animal consciousness which feels alone and the divine soul which is always in flow and this divine soul soothing the animal consciousness and saying, "You're fine." So here is where we learn what this looks like in a person's life. Take a look. This is You see the third to the last paragraph. Says the Baal Tanya, simcha hi shiflus hanefesh. It's a beautiful beautiful words and the writer who wrote this, I guess some things he wanted to preserve the original language, so he left them in Yiddish cuz usually they would write everything in Hebrew even though he spoke in Yiddish, but some things he left here in Yiddish. So he says, simcha hi shiflus hanefesh. Humility is joy always comes from the humility of the soul. Kol dover vedover, hein tzomei'ach, hein chai, hein medaber hasimcha mutba. Everything in the world has natural happiness. Tzomei'ach, chai and medaber. What does the Alter Rebbe say? Tzomei'ach. It's just the the just the words themselves. He says, "Look at any tree, it's happy. Look at any animal, insect, reptile, bird, fish, kol dover hasimcha mutba. Mutba means simcha is embedded in the chemistry. Mutba is like from the word teva, matbe'a, coin that's minted. It's embedded into the fabric of every reality. Look at a monkey, you'll see naturally it's happy. I have seven chickens in my backyard. I sometimes project my anxiety on them, but if I actually look at them, they're actually having a good time. I sometimes start feeling bad for them, you know, they're like all day like looking for worms. They love it. They love it. They love it. I look for cheesecake, they look for worms. Shine. I have more access. Right? Like once I was bringing Every time I opened the back door, they get excited cuz in their mind there's a breakfast coming, lunch, all the shuddes, melaveh malka, for bringing, whatever it is. So right away the door opens, they're very very alert. So I'm bringing like this food one day. I don't know we had leftover cholent, leftover challah, whatever it is. And as I threw I as I put it into the enclosure, they attacked. And it was so interesting my reaction. I'm like, "Wow, I would be embarrassed to do that." Like they're fighting over this little piece of chicken. And then like you I'm projecting my shame on them. For me, I'm busy with my image. They're like, "God created us. Our job is to search for food, lay eggs, create a new generation. That's it. Your self-conscious shame? Go to your therapist. What do you want from us?" I was actually looking at it. I'm like, "They're fine. They're like completely fine." You know, we have an image, the pasnish, the pasnish, my neighbors, the shatchanim, the seminaries, the yeshivas. So the Baal Tanya says, "Everything in the world has natural joy in its teva. Kol dover, tzomei'ach, chai and medaber." That means every bush, every shrub, every tree, every blade of grass, chai, every living organism, and medaber. Naturally simcha mutba. Maya simcha? What does it mean to be be simcha? What does that look like? What do I mean when I say a tree is happy? A donkey is happy. A dog is happy. An elephant is happy. A goat is happy. A sheep is happy. A hen is happy. What does that mean? They're not making jokes. Maybe they are, but we don't hear them. What does it mean? What does it mean they're happy? Does it mean they get distracted with fun things? Their lives are actually hard. Have you followed what happens in the jungle? It's not so easy to live in the jungle. It's not like they have it easy. There's predators. They're on alert. Come on, let's face it. Just like we're all Life is not easy in the jungle or anywhere else. So what's the simcha? We always explain simcha things are good, things are content, everything is perfect. He says that's not the case. Everything is perfect in nature? It's a cycle. The answer is maya simcha, lalo leshashasha. The definition of simcha is you're always aligned and going up to your source. Veyodaas me'od ha'emes, they are instinctively aware of the truth. Ve'ois vechedva bemkomoi. And it says in Tehillim, we say it in davening, in Hashem's space there is ois and chedva. Ois means confidence. Chedva means joy. So in the Hashem, how do you know you're in Hashem's space? There's confidence and there's joy. Velachein kol chayus ubeheimos heim tamid besimcha. An expression. How the Alter Rebbe knew this, but I love it. All animals, domesticated and undomesticated, are always happy. I should say could be California and New York, the dogs are not because they live with people. So that's another exception. But naturally, chayus ubeheimos heim besimcha. Why? Ki ein haguf master lachayus. Their physical bodies don't block their energy. Their energy and their bodies are seamlessly connected and fused. Rakifishi nivra hachayus, kacha hu etzel kol beheima belish umayusaf umegura. Exactly the way Hashem created them to be, that's what they're channeling. They're not becoming more. The animal is not graduating being an animal and they're not becoming less. The sheep never decides I want to become a worm. The worm never decides to become an elephant. I am exactly what the creator wants me to be and they're comfortable with it. That's why they don't have identity crises. You never saw the dog say to piddle or not to piddle, that is the question. Or God, why didn't you make me a dog? Or the elephant complaining that it's not a cheetah or a tiger or a lion. For those who still did Shakespeare in your high school years. To piddle or not to piddle. So he says it's interesting. A nagof master la chiyus. There's nothing blocking their energy. Like the hen has the hen's energy and the rooster has the rooster's energy and the squirrel and the deer in my backyard have the squirrel and deer and bluebird energy each one and they're man just manifesting it. They're living it. So you'll say, "Yeah, but life is hard and life is tough." That's our words. Life is channeling what the creator wants to channel through me. There's no self-consciousness. It's not personal. I'm channel and what's he and oize v'chedvah b'makomah in his space there's confidence and there's joy. So I'm just going to channel that. And that's what they channel as he says, "Naturally they are tamid b'simcha. They're in a They're in flux. They're just in flow." Ochein b'adam, the one exception to this is welcome welcome welcome, humanity. The adam is as I complicated. It's complicated. That's why these chickens don't have Tuesday morning classes. They don't have shiurim. They don't have seminars. They don't have retreats. They don't have lectures. They don't have missions to this country and that country. They don't even go on vacation. We invented the word vacation because we also invented anxiety. They don't have vacation. They live their life. And now you have my vacation. Ochein b'adam What happens by a person? She nemar by it says in Koheles me ruach adam ruach beheima yeredes l'mata. By the person it's not the way I was created. I'm just channeling and that's it. The spirit of a person is oilam ameilah. The ruach beheima yeredes l'mata. The beheima always remains a beheima doing its thing, surviving, propagating, helping its environment the way it was created. Every single creation serves a purpose. Even the worms, you know, you look at the worms in the earth. They're toiling the earth yomam v'laila. They're making the earth fertile. We would not be able to plant if not the work of the worms around the clock moving around subterranean tunnels in order to make the earth fertile. And everyone is doing it. And they're channeling that energy. A person, he says, she efshar she yiyef k'nisas midaber sh'lo b'toch meister haguf. What can happen is the person is in prison. The midaber of the person is not flowing through the body. It's stuck in the body. It's in meister. In prison means I'm confined and I'm not free. So there's two aspects here. There is my outer self and there's my inner self which I don't have access to. U've'eimas baboker in the morning who aisa simcha. The truth is right when we wake up in the morning it's naturally a time of joy k'dei k'tziv chadashim labkarim rabah emunasecha yiyered hachiyus m'chudash. The moment a person wakes up there's a whole new life force that has come into them, right? We say she'echeyanu v'kiyimanu v'higiyanu lazman hazeh. So naturally before you start thinking or checking your phone the moment we open our eyes before our mind start telling us how miserable >> [laughter] >> life is and how crazy this day is going to be and I have to do a billion things and the cleaning lady didn't come and there's breakfast and whatever it is. Before all that and before all the pessimism that comes into our brain the Baal Hatanya says, "Naturally the energy just came in again." So essentially if you would just remain with that you're to happy time. That's why right when you wake up you'll see there's a certain freshness and vibrancy which is essentially the natural state of simcha. What happens? What happens is ach b'mi Here he goes to Yiddish. Ach b'mi vosht der ich nemt arum. But when you have a person and the ego, the sense of I separateness needs to take over. As I hu yosef atzvos. The person becomes more despondent, more depressed, more anxious. Ki kol mashihu yosef gadol unarlik nederik hadavar gadol yosef atzvos. The greater the person's energy is and yet this energy falls low and is locked up in the person the more anxiety there is. So what is he really telling us? That the key to everything, the secret to everything is the experience of surrendering and letting go of the need to control and to be separate. To turn my I into a capital I that is separate from the larger I. The animals don't have this temptation. And the reason they don't have this temptation is they can't fall low and they can't go high. They are who they are. They're just channeling what they are. They don't have agency. Oize v'chedvah b'makomah and they're just, "Well, I'm just on a mission." With us because the human being was chosen to choose the relationship, to climb the ladder, to actually be have agency in the connection. I have to bring myself into it so I can go both ways. I can also separate myself. And it happens very easily and very naturally. We think it's an easier path. It's really a much harder path. So what happens is I wake up, he says, "Really, if you just stay in flow you're a happy person." But it's so hard to stay in flow cuz right away I need to control. This is not working. What's going to be with this? I have to give a class. I have to do that. >> [screaming] >> Ah, whoa. And baruch Hashem we're all capable cuz we're Jews. So we know how to deceive ourselves that we're really in control. You have a to-do list that you already made last night cuz you're so ahead of the game. And you're like, "Boom. Check check check check check check [laughter] check check check check. Wow, 97 things and you got 14 things done before 8:30 a.m. You deserve the Nobel Prize, superwoman. Harry Potter is oppressive." And it gives us that sense that we're on top of the world. And then you get one text from your daughter. Whoa. Kaput. What just happened? What just happened is instead of remaining in flow I seized control from Hashem. I decided it's mine and I'm going to take care of my life. And it works for those first 14 things. And then 8:30 when you got that text boom. That's why it says in Tehillim kuf lamed tes, 139. Im esek shamayim sham atah v'atzi esh oilam necha. If I go up to heaven you're there. There you are. V'atzi esh oilam if I go down to the abyss hinei cha you're here. So Hasidim used to explain as follows. Im esek shamayim sham atah. If when I go up to heaven, if when I'm on top of the world, I'm in heavens, you're there. Then even v'atzi esh oilam when I go down to the abyss hinei cha you're still there. If when I go up to heaven I don't forget about you. It's like, "Look how controlled I am. I have amazing my family segate amacham not like my neighbor the bal habos shloim mazel they they can't get anything together." You should have seen the sheva brachas what a mess. It was like churban bayis sheini. We have it together. We know what to do. Am achaya whatever. We already have the seder worked out. They already have clothes for camp. We're good. We're already I'm already preparing the apples for Rosh Hashanah. It's a normal thing. When I'm on top of the world it's not you. I have it all together. Then suddenly when I go into a low moment I completely lose it. My anxiety takes over. Why? Cuz that's the challenge that in beautiful moments I'm a channel. I'm a channel. If it's working, it's flowing, amazing. Wow, Hashem that was incredible. Sfas emes yiyachlah. Incredible. And then there's the flow of life, different situations. Now I'm confronting this situation, confronting this situation. But if Im esek shamayim when I was on top of the world it wasn't you, it was me. Now when I'm struggling I don't have anybody. So now I go into crazy crazy anxiety and guilt cuz I'm into that separateness. Cuz when it was good I was separate. That's the real reason at the end of a chuppah actually. My brother said this at my chuppah and I still remember it. >> [laughter] >> He said at the end of my chuppah, you know, they break the glass at the end of the chuppah and everyone screams mazel tov. So he said, "Why is it right here, right here, right before the dancing you have to break the glass? You could break the glass earlier. Why right now before the explosion of simcha?" So he said in the name of the rebbe my brother said at my chuppah a number of years ago he said, "People who in the height of their joy can remember that there's still brokenness in the world. And there are people who are broken. So then when they're broken they'll be able to remember that there's joy in the world. But people who when they are in the pinnacle of their joy there's no brokenness. We're good. Life is perfect, amazing. I don't need anybody. Then God forbid when they have a difficult moment they don't have the joy anymore because they're like stuck in their own container." The animals all have different moments. There's moments that there's predators. There's moments they could relax. There's moments they can't relax. But I'm in flow. I'm in flow. So yeah, there's a painful moment and I'm still in flow in that pain. I'm confronting something very serious and I'm vulnerable and I may cry. But crying doesn't mean there's not simcha. Simcha means I'm always in source. I'm connected to source. I'm aligned with source. I need to learn lessons. I need to see what's happening. But I'm still in flow. It may be a difficult day but I'm in flow. The flow right now is a challenging flow that I need to work through, whatever my avoid the right now is. But when I detach from that, which the animals never do cuz they don't know how to, cuz they're just they who they are. But a person could do that. And the greater my spiritual flow is, the more it can get locked up and disconnected, the more anxiety I become cuz when you really a great soul, for you flow is oxygen. It's literally like oxygen. Imagine a person says, "I already have oxygen in me. I'm not inhaling, I'm not exhaling. You ever tried? Like why should I?" I'm like this So it's fun for 30 seconds. If you do a breath work session Gishmack. But after a minute, it's like let's call hot sala. You know what I mean? Why? Because the stupidest thing I can think is I own the oxygen. It's mine. It's not my oxygen. It comes into me, channel it. And that's how you help the world. And then you take in. You're taking in my oxygen, I'm taking in your oxygen cuz we're all connected. That's what it means to go out of flow is I start controlling the oxygen cuz I like the oxygen. And then I interrupt myself. And now everything becomes, but this is not working out. But my son is struggling in school. But my daughter just didn't get accepted to the seminary. This should have [laughter] didn't work out. Okay, it's hard. Don't go into that space. It's a torturous place to be. But he said that, but she said that, but how am I going to do this? You don't have to do anything. >> [laughter] >> Let God do. Open yourself up and say he may me. He may me. I'm here. It's not about my validation and my ego and my nachos. My kids are not a nachos machine. They're not here to make me feel good about my insecurity. Take the base, take the raise, take the valve, take the come back and be a barrack and channel. Of course I showed this doesn't mean a person is lazy. They're not lazy at all. This is the opposite of laziness. This is the source of ultimate creativity cuz when you show up like this, you channel much more. You have more energy, you have more mental space. So he finishes off, he says, "Rock the man hashem needs to name in hashem with them if." Don't hijack this joy with your ego. Don't say, "Ah, look, I'm in flow. I'm a happy person. Now I'm happy. But that have not some one must have joy killer cobbler cobbler mock my MS. Accept the joy because it's true, not because your ego. She ain't starting with cobbler MS cuz the concealment is not real at the end of the day. The hostara is not a mohus. All concealment doesn't have a true essence because it's all a shell, a husk that is here to help us find what we need to find and do our work. It's not a real essence. The concealment is not the core. It's not a real existence. Only hashem is the real existence. Only may me with them master automatically whenever we get through the blockage of ego, automatically the simcha falls, it flows. May me means it flows into you automatically. So even when I'm going into flow, I can get hijacked by this. Look how much work I did. Look how much work. So much humility, so much bitter. I'm now a channel. It's feeling so good. And that itself becomes another trap. The traps can be so subtle. And it's not to make a person guilty and shameful. Oh, I'm never going to get this done. On the contrary, it's for a person to be able to say, "Real joy means wow, what a privilege to be able to be channeled to to be able to channel the truth." What's the truth? The truth is that the blockages that we have just appear to be blockages so that we can flex our muscles and do the work we need to do to be able to open our hearts and open our souls. And some of our blockages are very deep. He's not saying the blockages are not powerful. They're powerful, but they're not real at the end of the day. They're catalysts. They're springboards. They're like a mitzvah. They're there to prepare you. They're there to create the the the ground, the arena on which a person can find themselves and shine. So the joy is when a person can accept the truth that deep deep down there's no concealment in you. You are in flow. Ain't no water. You are we're all channeling this. And in that place of channeling you're beautiful, you're perfect, you're holy, you're harmonious, you're divine. And that's the real real truth. And you can't get any better than that. Any feedback in the world, every compliment in the world, it pales in comparison to a regulated nervous system that channels this type of truth. I was telling somebody the other day, "Your nervous system, you could never deceive. It knows truth." Your nervous system knows if you're selling it a Brooklyn Bridge or it's experiencing truth. It just knows it. Like if I'm being regulated because I'm deceiving myself with some fake moose a compliment, the nervous system knows you're not feeling it. The only way to relax your nervous system is through MS. The deepest deepest MS. And the deepest deepest truth is the truth of bitter. The truth that there's no real concealment. The truth is that in the deepest deepest place ain't no water and we're all channeling it. However, the blockages don't say this. The blockages want me to be separate. They want me to bully myself. They want me to feel disconnected and then they're going to build me up from that broken place by giving me some fake distraction that's going to feel good for 6 minutes. So here it comes together when hashem tell moshe and Aaron, "You're going to come to para and he's going to say to new my face." That's what I want you to do. Realize that what he's saying is right. Don't think for a second moshe and Aaron you're becoming another magician. You're becoming another master in Egypt. That's not what you're doing. For you it's going to be that every time a miracle happens through you, you are going to be the first ones to go crazy. You are going to be like, "Oh my [screaming] God, this is amazing." What's it with us? We're just channels. We was able to be channels. And by the way, I'm just going to finish with this. And I am a Malik says if you look in the story, you'll see two very interesting things. He says if you look in the story, it says Aaron threw his stick in front of para. When it comes to the magicians, it just says they did the same thing. It doesn't say that they did it before para. So he says cuz moshe and Aaron's act impressed para cuz he saw this is not magic. With them, it was just another trick in the book of Egyptian tricks. So it's like para is okay, next. He fell asleep in middle. He knew exactly the drill. You know, he understood it. He says one more thing you see. It says at then by clay para, para became stubborn and he didn't listen to them. The name of the Malik says I don't understand. It's not because he was stubborn, it's because the magic that they did, para's magicians did the same thing. So there was nothing impressive about it. He didn't have to be stubborn. He told moshe, "Let me see a miracle." They did a miracle and then his guys did the same miracle. So it's not impressive. They didn't even do another miracle. So why was para had to become stubborn? The Malik says no cuz really para was blown away cuz he right away saw the difference. He saw moshe and Aaron did something that was not mastering some trick, some optical illusion. It was really a divine flow of energy that hashem's energy in the world can transform things. He saw the difference. So really the reason that he didn't obey was not because they didn't impress him. It's cuz clay para because para's heart became stubborn because the truth is he recognized in moshe and Aaron this to new my face that they were simply channels of the oneness of hashem's energy. Have a beautiful week and a wonderful day. Thank you. Mazel tov for the same set of tire. By hashem made his heart stubborn. You know, naturally he was blown away. So that's why clay para was something that was unique that he remained stubborn despite it all. With him, to new my face, not for me.