Yom Kippur Teshuva Drasha: Don't Ignore the Cry of the Soul

this torah class is brought to you by torahanytime.com okay good evening everyone thank you so much for coming out on sunday night it's a big evening in the united states of america that's because tonight we've gathered to to learn torah and there's no debate about that so i want to thank the rav robert feldstein for inviting me and hosting me and i also want to thank oleg for reaching out again this year and giving me the opportunity to join you for some diverse torah and to speak a little bit about shuba so i just want to begin by telling you you're probably familiar one of the great rabbis of our time rabbi beryl line one of the great educators he's a historian he's a writer he was a rav he was a rosh shashiva he's a columnist he's a producer man he literally somebody who's influenced thousands of people over the years in so many different venues but on a personal level he's introspective and he's not want to uh to take in the limelight and all the fandom and all the adoring fans and he's once in an airport and somebody sees him he says rabbi rabbi is that you and you know this is not his thing he's not interested in the the fanfare so he acknowledges it very politely and he starts i i don't believe it rabbi i do you do you know how you changed my life your shoe rim your tapes your cds your books your classes it's just all of you the different things that you've taught over the years it's completely revolutionized my life and he starts heading in the other direction i whine doesn't he's not really interested in taking in all the uh adoration and the guy that was just the opening the guy needed a guy would not let go of him he said you wouldn't believe it you it's not just me literally hundreds and thousands of jews everywhere learn your safari and stay over from your shurim in just my shall alone there are dozens of people who read your books every shabbos while the rabbi is giving his drasha so rabbi wine is finally he's heard enough thank you very much thank you very much he heads to his seat in the terminal where he's feeling good about himself but he's happy he's able to shake the guy off and the guy would not let up the guy runs him rabbi rabbi just one last thing you know everybody knows behind every great man is an even greater woman please send my greatest gratitude to rabbits and friends and rabbi wine looks him in the eye with his dry chicago humor he says i don't usually travel with her but next time i see her i'll be sure to let her know dear friends in life you could really miss the boat you could completely miss the boat often the repercussions are not that severe and it doesn't really make a big difference but there are times in life that the repercussions of a decision could be drastic they could be earth shattering and they could literally spell the difference for all eternity so if you came here tonight to hear a classic chuvadrosha i'm sorry you came to the wrong place what you hear tonight is going to be a little bit different a little out of the box we're going to talk about a subject that is not really discussed often enough but i believe that you will hear one of the most important concepts that you will ever hear your entire life let's begin with a very important question a very serious question that any thinking person needs to ask themselves about the high holy days about the um narang that rosh hashanah yom kippur everybody knows the first step in the high holy days of the run is rosh hashanah rosh hashanah of course is a day of judgment the yom hadin where god judges us our health our parnassa our family our children our well-being everything we hope for everything we yearn for is judged on rosh hashanah and friends what is the judgment based on it's based on one thing and one thing only our actions mitzvos and aveiros the gemara says that somebody who has more mitzvos than avedos is judged immediately for a year of health happiness and success and heaven forbid the opposite if somebody has more demerits than merits gemara says they are judged immediately for not for a bad year so that's the first step in the yom narayan rosh hashanah then of course we know we have yom kippur yamakipuram what happens on yom kippur we fast and god atones our sins it's a yom slichol it's a day of atonement it's a day of forgiveness there's such an obvious question over here and that is the order of the high holy days are completely backward of what senses it to have a day of judgment judge us mitzvos aveiros and then god will decide whether we'll have a happy or successful year a a year of good health a year of nachas from our children a year of livelihood a year of paranosa and then after the judgment god says go to tone your sins i mean what's the what's the sense of doing that it should be just the opposite first let's go to shul let's do chubba let's wipe away all of our sins let's cleanse our neshama and then we'll have a day of judgment and then god will weigh the midsole and we'll have only mitzvos and we'll have no averos and we'll be you know in america they say we'll be sitting pretty we'll be primed we'll be in such a beautiful situation only to have good deeds not to have any of heroes and everybody would merit a year of happiness a year of likelihood a year of success a year of life isn't doesn't it seems cruel to wait to forgive our sin until after the judgment first forgive us and then judge us why forgive us after the judgment is backward it's completely out of order so this question is raised by one of the giants of the muslim movement rather it's a peterborough and he says he writes he heard this question from none other than revistral salanther okay friends one question deserves another question and in my humble opinion this question is the single most important question that any human being can ask themselves in the course of their lifetime because this question cuts to the bottom of what we're doing here in this world and commensurate to how well we understand the answer to this question it will chart the course of the rest of our lives any thinking person who looks around the world looks at nature one thing becomes clear one thing in nature is blatant and obvious and that is there is plan and purpose there is plan and purpose in every aspect and every detail of creation so let's take for example a fruit tree apple banana pear orange you ever notice that when the fruit is unripe and unfit to eat they're all green and they're inconspicuous and they're unattractive why obviously whoever created that tree does not want you to eat it yet whoever created that tree doesn't want you to get a stomachache so he made the color unappealing unattractive and inconspicuous so you don't see it as soon as the fruit becomes ripe and fit to eat whoever made that fruit paints it an attractive conspicuous color because they want you to eat the fruit let's say for example an apple anybody happen to have an apple on them i don't believe it wow it's amazing the divine providence there just happens to be an apple on the table next to me and it's red humble thank you hashem thank you so much who painted the apple or somebody painted the apple red that means they wanted you to see it to be attracted by it and to eat it in the summer when there is oh now another thing when the food is unripe then the tree holds tight to the food and you could try to pull it off you're going to have a hard time as soon as the fruit ripens the tree loosens its grip that means whoever made that tree doesn't want you to get a stomach ache but when the fruit is ripe he wants you to eat it in the summer there's maximum sunlight you want shade the tree maintains and holds onto all of its leaves as soon as the fall comes and the sun isn't strong anyway and you don't really want the shade the tree lets go of of its leaves look at any fruit in orange let's say anybody here have an orange no i don't believe it it's unbelievable the hashtag there just happens to be an orange in the bag next to me i want to show you something about orange i was warned my wife said don't do this publicly it's not good if you don't have to peel on orange but hashem i could peel on ours look how beautiful this color is you ever wonder whoever painted an orange why'd they run out of paint on the inside i mean what happened the creator ran out of paint he had a shortage of paint why didn't he paint the inside the answer is it's obvious whoever painted it orange wants to attract your attention so he wants you to see it be attracted by it open it but once it's open there doesn't need to be any color on the inside why waste the paint there's no reason to waste the paint on the inside so whoever painted this orange did not pick the inside so i know what you're thinking say i know you're thinking you're saying if the creator wants me to eat the fruit and that's why he painted it such a beautiful color then why the watermelon and the cantaloupe and the honeydew they're bland they have no color on the outside they only have color on the inside what happened did the creator run out of paint but the answer is very simple the apple is a serving size for one person so the creator wants you to see it grab it and eat it immediately but the watermelon is not a one-person serving size if it would have a beautiful color on the outside you would see it you would grab it you would take a bite and then 90 of it would go to waste so the creator plant painted it a bland color so you shouldn't be too attracted by it so you take it home it engenders patience you bring it back to your family you cut it open and then everybody enjoys it so any fruit which is more than a one person serving size does not have an attractive color but if it's a one person serving size the creator wants you to eat it because it's just for you ah so you're thinking oh maybe that's why the red pepper and the yellow pepper have such a beautiful color because i can eat myself so what about the potato the potatoes so bland is so unattractive potato come on you can't bite into a potato it's raw so the creator didn't paint it a beautiful color so you shouldn't take it and bite into it he also wanted to engender patience so one thing that we notice is that every detail of creation has tremendous wisdom and kindness of the creator take an egg take any egg any particular egg there are thousands of types of eggs has the perfect degree of thickness what do i mean by that if it would be an iota thicker then the chick would never be able to claw out it would be an iota thinner then the egg would crack through the stress of childbirth there are thousands of degrees of possible thickness that an egg could have and the each egg has precisely the exact degree of thickness that it needs yeah coincidence not a coincidence obviously plan and purpose now the greatest marvels yeah you see good the greatest marvels are found in the human body i'll give you an example what do you have for supper tonight now yeah what would you like to have for several times you don't know a steak what what dumplings dumplings what a steak lamb chops yeah no yeah a lot of americans they like to eat steak they like meat they like to eat ribs so here you have a guy he's munching on lamb chops he's eating the stomach of another animal now the most powerful acids in the world are produced by the human uh stomach lining they could produce an acid that you put the acid on a table go through the table so here it is a guy is munching on the stomach of another animal and his the asses that are produced by his stomach are digesting this rough tough piece of meat and lo and behold miracle of miracles it doesn't digest the stomach of the eater unbelievable coincidence or plan and purpose mother's milk mother's milk is one of the greatest nissan for the first five days after a child is born the mother produces colostrum colostrum is um a laxative it removes the mucus it removes the bacteria and the waste and the baby's digestive tract it actually supplies antibodies to the baby it immunizes the baby every detail of nature calls out marabou look at the greatness look at the wisdom look at the kindness of hashem every organ every instinct was specifically created for the benefit of the animal or the species and yet men the most important phenomenon in the universe has an instinct which is the greatest mystery a man can have all the money in the world all the food in the world all the pleasure in the world all the possessions in the world and man will never be satisfied and man will never be happy this phenomenon is unique in the entire world you give a cow enough grass and a shady spot under a tree and it will be happy indefinitely you give a horse hay in a barn and it will be in paradise forever but even the wealthiest most successful men quickly grow restless and dissatisfied man is just simply never happy he's constantly searching yearning looking people in the east they're traveling to the west people in the west they're traveling to the east yeah animals migrate but for a definitive purpose for weather benefits but man he's just looking he's just endlessly unhappy even the most successful doctor professional the wealthiest man somebody who has the adoration and the honor of the whole world what life is just not giving me enough and there's nothing that puts man at ease there's this constant nagging feeling of emptiness dissatisfaction and this instinct that man has is really bad for him because it leads to all types of self-destructive behavior all all the addictions all the anxieties all the dependencies alcohol depression where does it come from it comes from the man's instinct of being dissatisfied with this world of emptiness of loneliness of unhappiness what went wrong with man when god made the cow he got it perfect when he made the horse he got it perfect when he made the apple he got it perfect when he made the watermelon he got it perfect the birds the fish perfection to last detail what happened to man did god take a break on the sixth day of vacation and he wasn't there how did man go so wrong man supposed to be the pinnacle of creation pinnacle of creation man is creation gone haywire you know how many types of addictions there are there's actually an alphabetical list of thousands and thousands of types of addictions just for the letter a alcohol you have people who are addicted to approval don't become a rabbi if you're addicted to that aspirin aerosol sniffing imagine there are people who are addicted to their deodorant amphetamines antidepressants [Applause] there are thousands and where does it come from where is it rooted it's rooted in man's instinct of just not being satisfied with what this world has to offer but the apple is so perfect and the watermelon is so perfect and the egg is so perfect and the mother's milk is so perfect so what in the world happened to man everything else is so magnificent everything else is so full of of kindness so why is man such an abysmal mess and understanding the answer to this question is literally to understand the most fundamental concept of human existence we're going to be speaking on a topic nobody likes to talk about it you could go to shurim you could go to drashas you could your kids could go to yeshiva and they come home with sheets and you could hear all about everything you're not going to hear about this this topic is taboo nobody wants to broach the subject and that is if man was created for his stay in this world to be here 70 90 years and then die and that's the end then you should know that our creation has been an abysmal disaster we are the most failed experiment ever conducted if the grave is the grand finale then man is project gone sour big time because man is never happy never satisfied never fulfilled relentlessly restless but our sages teach us don't blow it don't miss the boat because if you miss the boat on this one you're not just going to be mistakenly calling rabbi barrel wine rather you suck a friend if you miss the boat on this one the repercussions are earth shattering because understanding this idea is the difference between a life of dissatisfaction unhappiness and eternal ruin as opposed to a content a content life and a happy afterlife so please never forget what i consider the seven most important words in judaism so why would hashem make man with this instinct which literally can cause the ruination of a person why would god create us with an instinct of unhappiness that that causes depression and unhappiness and dissatisfaction and it can lead to all kinds of self-destructive behavior it's such it seems like such a cruel existence but the answer is it only seems that way if you miss the boat because if you think and you make the mistake that this world is where it's at then boy is it a cool existence boy is it a harsh existence but the more a person understands that this world is just a brief opportunity to gain eternity to that extent a person could understand that the instinct of men of never being happy never being satisfied never being fulfilled is not only a quirk in an otherwise perfect creation not only is it not a failed project but man's instinct of restlessness is actually the greatest manifestation of god's kindness because if you take this instinct and you harness it and you channel it and you hone it to motivate you to inspire you to look for what your neshama is really looking for then this instinct will give you the most fuel and will fuel your success in this world but if a person thinks that this world is where it's at to that extent this world will be a career of disaster and to the extent that a person understands that this world is a hallway to that extent he will have a career of success so let's try to understand this a little bit why is man always unsatisfied where is the where is it coming from what is it rooted in now you have to know we're not the first to pick up on this phenomenon hamelik the wisest of all men he already honed in on this phenomenon when he writes in the past again that means the soul will never be sated and the madrish explains with a parable the results of villager the villager fell in love with the princess and he takes the princess and he brings her back to his home and he tries to make her happy with his best potato and lentil soup and he's serving her to her and he can't understand why is the princess not happy maybe she needs music so he takes his metal spoon his wooden spoon and he starts banging it on the metal pot making beautiful music and she sits there and she's crying she's disconsolate because she longs for the mirrored holes of the palace where she would move amid music pageantry the tapestries of the palace and he can't understand why she not happy because he was never in the palace he doesn't know what the palace is all about he only knows beans and potatoes and he thinks to himself why is she not happy what is it is the is the porridge is the soup missing garlic is it because there's not enough garlic in the porridge is there not enough garlic in the soup he says maybe it's the pepper oh it must be the pepper and we say to him no you fool it's not the garlic it's not the pepper it's the palace but you don't know what the palace is what's our most valuable asset our home our car our most valuable asset is our nishama where does our neshama come from the posix says says that if you blow into something if you blow into a balloon where does the air and the balloon come from who blows blows from within himself if god blew our soul into us that means he blew from within himself that means our soul is literally a piece of the divine it's what we call kami a peace of god it's the daughter of the king it's the princess but the body the physical mortal finite body senses that the soul is not satisfied that the soul is not happy that she's depressed that she's uncomfortable in this world so the body tries to make the soul happy and the body says what is it why are you not happy you need more money you need a nicer car you need a better vacation you need better food you need your car's not fully loaded nusham allah that's why you're not happy maybe we need to spend more money maybe i need to work more that will make you happy but the neshama is in such pain the nishamah is crying it says in the silasius sharim because the neshama ilu haivesallah call madame if you bring the soul all the pleasures in the world they're worthless to her. is used to a higher currency than neshama is longing for a higher pleasure than asham is longing for the palace that ashama is learning is yearning for islam so the neshama in a way is trapped in this world in a world where it cannot get any pleasure it's very painful for the neshama so why would god give us in a shama that derives no benefit from this world the neshama is what we call over qualified for this world why would god put the soul why would god put the princess in a hut a village hut of this world where all the pleasures of the world are just like beans and potatoes to the neshama you know what the neshama feels about this world the messiles hasham writes the soul does not like this world at all el amo it's disgusted by this world but god put the soul here for a very important reason because the longing of the soul and the yearning of the soul and the emptiness of the soul can be harnessed and channeled and directed to be used to acquire the achievements and the assets that will make the nishama happy forever and ever and ever and then when the neshama senses that it's utilizing its short stay on this world in a productive way in a way that it's acquiring torah mitzvos has a degree of satisfaction in this world and the neshama is content in this world what this world is is what we call a high risk gamble it's a high risk because if a person is able to understand that his yearning and his unhappiness and his dissatisfaction is for the purpose of acquiring torah mitsos to that extent he'll be happy in this world and to the extent that a person doesn't understand that and to the extent that a person gets confused and allows the yearning of his neshama to pull him in other directions oh i must need more money i must need more pleasure i must need more assets i must need more possessions my car is not good enough i need to upgrade my house is not good enough i need to redo then life becomes an endless career of futility this world is a high risk gamble and herein lies the fundamental crossroad of human existence do i live for this world or do i live for the world to come do i live for oil or do i understand that that this world is a prisoner with nay oil that is the fundamental question that every human being needs to decide on in their lifetime do i live for this world or do i live for alam instant gratification or delayed success it's interesting perhaps many of you have heard about the stanford marshmallow experiment conducted in the late 60s early 70s he was a psychologist by the name of walter michelle who's a professor in stanford university and basically he conducted an experiment where he brought children in and he presented them with the opportunity of getting one marshmallow nail or two marshmallows a little bit later on about 15 minutes later you'd walk out of the room and in follow-up studies researchers found that children who were able to wait longer for preferred rewards tended to have better life outcomes better relationships better marriages better sat scores better careers better lives measured by many other way by many means that is the test of life counterfeit now or real later and to the degree that a person is able to make this pivotal crucial choice to that degree either they will be endlessly unhappy in this world and very disappointed after or very content in this world and eternally successful and it's all about making a good business decision only a fool would choose to make a deal that would bring him big earnings today and run the business and tomorrow rav ruderman zechariah and whenever he would go to a pidyon haben epidemin is when a person has the first born son you redeem the firstborn son by giving five silver coins to the cayenne and at on this ceremony the kayen asked the father of the firstborn son what's got to be the quintessential rhetorical question he asks him my boyest faye what would you rather have been or the five silver coins in other words the coin is saying should i keep the kid and you keep the money or do you want to give me the money and i'll give you your kid i don't think in the history of mankind any father ever said to the call you know you keep the kid and i'll i'll keep the silver coins at least not for the firstborn kid but revuderman would say this question of my boys faye that's not just the question that is asked that opinion haben this is a question that reverberates throughout a person's lifetime what is more important to you what is more valuable to you what are you mah shiv moore there was a rabbi in new jersey he was counseling a couple so both the husband and wife both had high powered jobs and they would come home eight nine ten o'clock at night and the kids would be waiting at the window for mommy and daddy to come home and of course they had a nanny uh for the kid so that the kid could have a good upbringing from a nice jamaican woman and have the masara from jamaica or from trinidad right and and the rabbi asked the parents you know why are you doing this and the parents gave the classic answer we're doing it for the good of the children so that the children could have everything everything that is except for parents who are involved in their kids lives faye what do you want more that's the question we have to ask ourselves our entire life what's more important to us our jobs or our children our money or our family but it's a question that transcends that my what do you want more rochnias spirituality orgasmias physical world what do you want more oil this world or islam the world to come when you decide how many hours you're going to work you're making a choice which world do you want more this world or the world to come when you decide where you go on vacation you're making a choice which world do you want this world or the world to come when you decide what type of entertainment you watch you're making a decision which world do i want this world or the world to come and when it comes down to it it all boils down to that question which world am i interested in and that's the debate between yaakov and asov the ton of billio tells us they were struggling they were fighting what were they fighting over yaakov says my dear brother asap there are two worlds in this world there are two worlds this world and the world to come this world let me tell you about this world there's eating there's drinking there's business and then there's there's none of that says of course sounds good deal and on that day that yankov bought the birthright from asaf they consummated the deal that yaakov has possession of the world to come and asap has possession of this world you know there was a bachua learning in yeshiva he's a good bakker but apparently this baker lived a double life he would learn in yeshiva in the morning he would learn this in the afternoon and in the night time he was a drummer but he wasn't a drummer at casanovas he wasn't a drummer at jewish weddings he was a drummer in nightclubs in new york city and one night he's playing and after he finishes playing after he finishes his gig guy comes over to him hands him his business card he says kid you're good when you do audition we might have something for you now this guy is one of the top organizers of bands in new york city and a few days later he goes to the man's studio he plays the drums and he's impressed the guy's impressed and they said to him immediately kid we want you to be our backup drummer opportunity of a lifetime opportunity he was waiting for ever since he began playing the drums and the guy takes out a contract and he fills in the top and he fills in the date and he fills in the salary and he hands him the contract and he says here sign it this is your first gig and the kid looks at it and his first gig was on a friday night now whatever this kid did he was never mahalo shabbat he never discredited the shabbos so what does he do he goes to his girlfriend he says what should i do i want it so bad so girlfriend says why don't you speak to this and this rabbi he's somebody who's a good advisor he's somebody who knows how to deal with these types of types of issues so he goes to his rabbi and he says rabbi i want it so bad but i've never been mahalo shabbos before so rabbi says look i can't tell you what to do you go home take out a sheet of paper on the left top hand side of the column you write all the pros of what it will bring you to be this drummer and on the right side write all the cons and the end you'll see what to do and you make the decision so the guy drops out of side for three or four days and comes back to the ready and he puts the paper down and he starts crying on the left hand column there's a list that goes down three quarters of the way down the page many of the things on the list i can't say in the basic nss and on the right hand side the cons he only wrote one word nitrius eternity that it would be forever and ever and ever and he said i'm not gonna do something to my soul that i'm gonna have to live with for all eternity and he said i'm getting out of here and he picked himself up and he left his life in america and he went to israel and he's still there because it's very hard to trump eternity it's very hard to overcome eternity my best faith what do you want more that's the question of life is this world where the world to come it's all about making a good business decision so i know what you're thinking what's wrong with both what's wrong with that i'm already here might as well enjoy it absolutely enjoy every minute of life every meal that you eat don't just eat it enjoy it and thank hashem enjoy your family enjoy your free time but the point that i'm making is enunciated most clearly by rabbenu bachha the great spanish philosopher the author of the voice he writes in shakhsban just as fire and water cannot co-exist in one vessel haba just like fire and water cannot exist in one cup a believer in god has to make a choice either you love this world or you love the world to come it's a matter of focus what is your focus what are you pursuing what are you after what do you love what's your ambition that is the question of life the central question of life and don't miss the boat tell you a funny story listen to this one after so the kids came back sunday morning he said rabbit rubble you changed my life somebody said what now that you believe in you're learning more you're dying no no no i never realized how the schmack pepsi was after cholanth i never tried it it's takasoge schmack you changed my life returning to the question that we began with the yom no realm they seem to be out of order wouldn't it make more sense to first have a yom kippur let god atone for our sins let him wipe away our sins and then judge us and we'll all be judged for a happy healthy successful prosperous year why does hashem first judge us and then atone our sins says rob you throw cilantro you know why we have this question because we make a fundamental mistake during the high holiday seasons you know we're thinking about i hope i'm healthy this year i hope i make a lot of money this year i hope i'm happy this year we all think about this world and if you think about this world then it actually makes no sense why rosh hashanah comes before yom kippur because after all if the judgment is based on our mitzvos naveros why would god wait to forgive us until after the judgment but says rabistra salantar this world is not the main thing it's not the e-car it's not the most important thing it's only secondary it's toughel it's not even important this world is this world is just the preparation before the world to come the main thing is the world to come the main thing is yom kippur because yom kippur will cleanse us forever and ever and ever and ever but if god would give us the yom kippur first imagine what would happen we came in to show the beginning of the honor yom kippur and the rabbi says hey everybody do chuva say for what to cleanse your soul i'm clean i took a shower why should i cleanse myself because you want your soul to be clean in olam say what what's that i don't i don't think about alma who thinks about nobody would ever connect to a yom kippur nobody would ever relate to yom kippur yom kippur is too distant from our minds so god has to break us in slowly you know what he does he gives us a rosh hashanah and our rosh hashanah we come to shul and we see in the masa we have to do chuba we have to improve why because our life is on the line and our money is online and our children are on the line this is a language that talks to us we all know what health is we all know what children are we all know what money is that's a language that talks to us rosh hashanah talks to us we know what it means to have a life on the line and then we come to shul and we start thinking about our actions because we're motivated by our type of language and then slowly slowly when we start thinking about our actions we could begin to think you know what i don't only have to worry about my mitzvos and alveros for this world i need to worry about it for something far more important i need to worry about it for eternity for nitrius for rosh hashanah is just the preparation for yom kippur the same way this world is the preparation for the world to come but the most important day of the year is yom kippur to the point where the gemara says it's the happiest day of the year you know it's the happiest day of the year what other day could you do something and it will benefit you not for a day not for a week not for a year not for 10 years not for 100 years for ever and ever and ever and ever and ever if a person is able to improve even one small aspect of their life it's the greatest salvation in their entire existence it's an amazing thing there's a letter that says that when does isa leave yaakov alone at the time of nila very perplexing what does that mean isa leaves yaakov alone at the time of the meaning is like this aesa's force and ace of israel and asap's allure is the allure of this world and we're all affected by it we're all pulled by it and we're all taken by it and we all live for it and it's hard to shake it but one day a year as that day comes to an end a day when there's no eating and no drinking and we're completely removed from this world yom kippur is like a day out of the world to come and on that day life becomes so clear and their perception of reality is so crystal clear for one moment during the year we say asa get lost we're not bogged down by you anymore that's why we take the sauyer the goat on yom we throw it off the cliff we're able to rid ourselves of the influences of asaf and then for eight days a year we leave our house our house is diras keva we leave the permanence of this world we leave the draw of this world and we sit in a temporary abode we sit in the sukkah and we experience such a happiness because we're not tied down by the the permanence of such a fleeting world let me end off with one story after the holocaust there are a group of young men sitting around the table on a pesach night celebrating a say there each one of them relating their personal salvation and their personal exodus from the from the misery from the abyss of the holocaust and one particular young man said that in the end the last days he was in auschwitz and they knew the russians were coming and they were so excited finally they were going to be freed and there and the germans and the nazis were screaming at them diner stunder vale nominee kim and your hour will never come we're going to kill you before the before the russians get here but we heard the artillery exploding in our ears the russians were coming the russians were coming and then one day the nazis were gone they ran away into the forest they didn't want to be caught and this young man said i was so cold i was freezing cold so i went to the storehouse and i took a warm pair of boots and one of the warm nazi jackets one of the warm nazi caps and the russians were streaming into the city square and we were clapping we were parading and we were cheering and all of a sudden i feel an arm grabbed me threw me on a truck with a bunch of nazi soldiers they thought i was a nazi after i was i was almost wearing an entire nazi get up and i started screaming and the russians slammed me so hard he'd know what i was talking about all the nazis were screaming at banaya they were all they started putting on the the uniforms of the concentration camp uh jews because they were trying to pretend that they were jewish they were all screaming yet i didn't know what to do who's going to believe me and we were traveling and traveling in the truck and here i was together with these roid slim together with these amalakim and i tried to say i'm a jew i'm a jew and russian said if you say that i'm going to shoot you in the head and they put us in a barracks and i look out the window during the night and there was a russian soldier marching back and forth and he looked like he had a yiddish face and i stuck my head out the window and i screamed and he looked at me and he walked away two hours later he came back with two other soldiers and i started screaming at them did you go to said yeah you tell us the first mission in brachas so i started to say and they took me out and i said thank you and they said don't thank me thank the shama yisrael could you imagine what this young man felt like on the truck could you imagine his terror his fear his loneliness his anguish he's on the verge of freedom he's on the verge of being saved and now he's mistaken as a nazi criminal do you know how afraid and lonely and frightened and how desperate the neshama feels in this world the neshomo's crying out i want torah i want fila i want sadaka i want mitzvos i want mason thai them i want mido's taiwas i want rukhniyas and the body says you want food you want money you want vacations and the body pulls in a shama to where it doesn't want to go and it makes it see what it doesn't want to look at and then ashama is crying out bitterly but nobody is listening to the cry of the neshama no one's paying attention to the neshama and one day a year we stand on yom kippur and we cry out shema israel hashem echo can't take it anymore the neshama says i can't take the emptiness of this world i can't take the shallowness of this world help me please change please redirect yourself what do you want more this world for the world to come neshama is crying out loud and clear i want oil don't miss the boat don't ignore the cry of the neshama agamar khasi mataiva thank you all for listening you've just experienced another torah class brought to you by torahanytime.com